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Thread: Carriscore [Questshipping] PG-13

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    Default Carriscore [Questshipping] PG-13

    Carriscore is a conjunction of Carrier and Score. This can be interpreted in many different ways, whether it is direct definition or slang. It is supposed to correlate several random tangents that attempt to make use of its various definitions. It is also because it happened to be the title of my word document that contains this.

    This is rated PG-13, simply because I highly doubt it would be rated G. It’s not that happy and peaceful, probably has swearwords, and possibly uses sexual innuendos. I believe this is a fair generic rating.

    This is my first fanfiction. Or rather, it is the second, derived from the first one. This was rather excitedly anticipated, so I produced enough to be able to start submitting the first sections. The shipping provided in this fiction is Questshipping, representing the characters Kenta and Marina, who appear in the special hoso The Legend of Thunder.

    Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon, any characters, attacks, settings, or the basic concept of it.

    Other than that, enjoy!

    Warning: The prologue is a relative introduction. It does not contain any real shipping at all. It is intended to progressively increase overtime, rather than start right off the bat. My personal understanding of shipping is the romance or the relationship between two given characters. Thus, like romance stories, it is noticeable, but also progressive. Thought processes of the two characters are not there 100%, though progressive interaction I would find appropriate. If it is not shippy enough, I'll make the immediate adjustment.

    Prologue: The Journey of One

    By S_P

    Two years ago …. *Flashback ensues*

    The sun had set far into the horizon. The blazing glare of the sun shined throughout the Jouto region. The day was sunny, with few clouds. The grass was green, wind breezed, and a pokemon championship was in session.

    A large stadium is seen, filled with a roaring crowd. The large stadium is known as the Silver Convention. It is the renowned location for the Jouto League, located to the Northeast sector of the entire region. Inside the stadium a large scoreboard is seen with the pictures of two trainers, a young boy and a young girl. Both were from the same hometown, and both had one pokemon left each.

    “Bakuphoon, denkousekka (Quick Attack)!” exclaimed a young boy dressed in a red jacket with white pockets and yellow shorts with black lining. He had black spiky hair that hung in front of his reverse worn cap, as well as a large backpack. The backpack was that of a gray colour, and did not have much flare to it. It also had the silhouette of a pokeball engraved on the back of it.

    Bakuphoon (Typhlosion) launched a powerful quick attack at lightning speed, to the extent that it was so fast, that it appears as though it had teleported. At the lightning speed it hit the opponent’s Denryuu (Ampharos) back. However, the Denryuu was strong and did not hold back.

    “DenDen, mamoru (Protect)!” shouted by a young girl dressed in a pink shirt, a white jacket, yellow shorts with black lining. She had blue hair in the shape of spiked pigtails that went outward and forward. So viewing her side you normally would not be able to see her ears. She had a small pink backpack, as well as a Muumu floating next to her.

    Denryuu produced an invisible circle, that when made contact with, would nullify any physical component that had opposition against it. Bakuphoon charged hard and quickly. The force of the blow was nullified, but it did not change the fact that Denryuu was propelled far enough to be susceptible to a follow up attack.

    “Bakuphoon, kaenhousha (Flamethrower)!” the boy commanded.

    “DenDen, hikarinokabe (Light Screen)!” ordered the girl.

    Bakuphoon produced a large stream of fire directed at the shielded Denyruu. Like the defense of Protect, Light Screen also warded off the aggressive attack.

    “Hm, projectiles don’t seem to be very useful against you.”

    “It’s easy to defend if you know it is coming.”

    “In that case … Bakuphoon, Thunder Punch now!”

    “Denryuu, cancel it out with your Fire Punch!”

    The two different elemental attacks clash. The friction from the contact of the two fists of the two pokemon creates a small flash as well as a minor explosion. Since Bakuphoon is a fire type, it was rather unaffected by Denryuu’s burning fist. Likewise, Denryuu was rather unaffected by Bakuphoon’s shocking punch.

    It seemed as though it was a relative stalemate. Like their trainers, neither pokemon were backing down, nor did either have the upper hand. Both the boy and the girl had the maximum amount of confidence that he or she can produce. This was a long, intense battle that seemed to have no end, had stamina or fatigue not existed. They both knew the battle could not wear on much longer, so the look on their eyes presented one last final attack.

    “So, ran out of options yet?” asked the girl.

    “I still have one option left!” responded the boy.

    “DenDen, Kaminari (Thunder)!”

    “Bakuphoon, kaenguruma (Flame Wheel)!”

    Denryuu produced a large force of electricity, exceeding the power of one hundred thousand volts. Bakuphoon on the other hand used an unorthodox method and charged into the massive electrical current, which normally would be enough voltage to knock a Kairyuu (Dragonite) unconscious. As the electricity and the fire clashed, the concentration of the fire was so large that it dissipated the electricity, since the fire fully surrounded Bakuphoon, it was not a strong conductor traveling like a mobile pokemon fireball. However, it was not as if the electricity was negated, as several volts were indeed able to transfer into the roaring Bakuphoon.

    The large electrical current was scattered into several smaller currents that essentially went around the Flame Wheel. The Flame Wheel had been such a large amount of fire that the electricity could not generate any pinpoint accuracy, thus the attack was nowhere near a clean hit.

    Both trainers look intently at the fierce battle, unable to notice whether Denryuu’s Thunder will pulverise Bakuphoon, or if Bakuphoon’s Flame Wheel will override the Thunder and successfully get to Denryuu. Both Bakuphoon and Denryuu shared the same faces that their respective trainers presented.

    A quick time passes which may have seemed forever, and a large explosion occurs. This was not anticipated to be so imminent, yet Bakuphoon had charged so quickly that Thunder did not have enough time to be fired at full power. A large amount of smoke was produced by the large explosion. Neither trainer nor the entire crowd could see the field, let alone anything but smoke. After a short duration of wait and worry, the smoke clears.

    A Bakuphoon is found lying down, heavily injured. Denryuu was seen standing, breathing heavily. Unexpected to the majority of the crowd, Bakuphoon struggled to get up. It did not want to give in, it did not want to lose. However, it does not change the fact that it was unable to further battle. When Bakuphoon stood up straight, it looked right into the eyes of the electric dragon Denryuu.

    After Denryuu breathed heavily for what seemed like forever, it decided to smirk. The boy was afraid that it had won the battle, having more stamina left than his Bakuphoon. To his surprise, Denryuu fell to the ground.

    “Denryuu is unable to battle, Bakuphoon wins! Kenta from Wakaba Town is the new champion!” announced the announcer.

    This boy, Kenta: raising pokemon, battling with pokemon, maturing alongside with pokemon. Wherever he goes, he is just a highly normal young man. This is a tale of the possibilities for people who love pokemon ….

    Ah! Atarashii kaze ni fukaretemo (Ah! Even if I am blown by a new wind!)
    Kawaranai ore no yume (My dream will not change)
    Sou! Pokemon Masutaa! (Yes! Pokemon Master!)
    Madamada sekai wa hiroitte (The world is still very wide)
    Chiheisen ga oshiete-kurete’ru yo (Is what the horizon assures me)
    Madamada gooru wa tooitte (And my goal is still far away)
    Wakaru to kyaku ni moechau ze! (I know that, but it gets me even more excited!)
    Mabushikute ookikute moete’ru (To the big, brightly burning)
    Ano asahi ni hitori chikau (Morning sun, alone I vow: )
    “Zettai kaenai!” (“I absolutely won’t lose!)
    Ah! Atarashii daichi ni tattemo (Ah! Even if I stand on new ground)
    Kwaranai ore no michi (My road will not change)
    Rara kaze to issho ni! (La-la, going along with the wind)
    Ah! Atarashii raibaru arawaretemo (Ah! Even if a new rival appears)
    Kawaranai koukishin (My curiousity will not change)
    Saa! Batoru shiyou ze! (Come on! Let’s battle!)
    Ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra! (La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!)

    “Congratulations on your victory, Kenta,” the girl commented, “Another tournament trophy added to your collection.”

    “Yeah, that makes three now. Your Denryuu is really strong!” Kenta said.

    “Your Bakuphoon only gets stronger time and time again.”

    “It has no limit. We will continue to grow stronger and mature even more.”

    “Of course, I’ll win some championship some other time and surpass you. To surpass Wataru-sama’s level I must become stronger than you.”

    If you do.”

    “Not if, when I surpass you!”

    A small breeze of wind passes by the two trainers. The girl’s hair is blown gracefully across the wind as Kenta appears stagnant. Kenta laughs at the thought but results in a normal smile.

    “Hey, you busy this evening?”

    “Yeah I’ll have some free time. Let’s eat dinner later. We have lots of catching up to do.”

    “Alright, see you then.”

    “See you later Kenta.”

    After the battle had ended, the girl is seen walking downtown. The night was dark with some clouds, but otherwise no unusual weather. There were surely no dark clouds and most definitely no thunder.

    Watashi Marina. Juurokusai. The hyper cute, special lovely Idol Trainer from Wakaba Town! Marina does a short spin move and a little dance jig to cheer herself up. She puts a big smile to her face, despite the finals loss. She’s happy that she did her best, regardless of the outcome. Of course, she is also happy that Kenta won. She decided to not look at him for a certain duration like she normally did. Rather, she preferred to be the one to be looked at, since she likes the attention given that she intends to aim to become an Idol Trainer.

    Kenta looked at Marina from slightly afar and smiled, before moving on. He had felt victorious. He knew that Marina put up her best battling abilities, thus he does not feel bad about defeating her at all. In fact, he would be furious if she had let him win or if she did not put up her best battling ability. As he looked up to the sky, he put up a sigh of relief. Despite the excitement that he had one, he was also tired after a long battle. He will celebrate when he attains his award, as well as when he returns home to see his beloved mother again.

    Marina had left for the pokemon centre immediately to recover her fallen pokemon. She had decided to go to the green videophone located on the right side of the building right after depositing her six pokemon to the Nurse Joy operating it. Her hand reached over to dial a number which reached a professor far too familiar.

    Utsugi-hakase responded to the phone, inquiring her how things are going. Marina is seen responding on how she battled long and hard up to the finals, but ended up coming short losing to Kenta. Utsugi-hakase replied that all tournaments have their ventures and that winning cannot come all the time. Marina is not dissatisfied with the loss, even though the victory would have been nice to represent Wakaba Town. Of course, a trophy will still be brought home to her hometown.

    Unfortunately, the whereabouts of Jun’ichi are unknown. Utsugi-hakase had informed Marina that Jun’ichi last contacted him in the Fusube City (Blackthorn City). Since he had recently attained his eighth badge, it was impossible for him to attend the same Silver Convention as Kenta and Marina and will have to attend the one that occurs a several months later. Well, slow and steady wins the race.

    Kenta is seen walking towards a lighted park. He decided to release his six pokemon that he carried to allow them to enjoy the scenery. Congratulating his pokemon on his victory, his goal remains in good continuity, not swerving away from it and overcoming his latest challenge.

    However, many endeavours will occur, and they have many more things to experience. As Kenta is relaxing with his pokemon in the park, a red haired character is seen in the background approaching him.

    End of Prologue

    ~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~

    Author’s Note: I utilize the Japanese names of the characters due to the fact that the character names in Questshipping are the Japanese ones, and not the English ones. Thus, to maintain consistency, I try to utilize Romanji spelling of the Japanese names as much as possible, though I will note what I refer to. However, since this is strictly an English fanfiction, usage of any Japanese would be rather rare, and something such as pokemon attacks will not all be in Japanese. Items will be the Japanese notation, but not in Romanji. I do not use the dub names because the special hoso that contained Kenta and Marina never existed in the US, meaning that technically, the dub name does not exist. Also, the only dub reference that was used in a certain episode had no direct reference, only the names. My personal writing may be written in English, so some spellings can vary. You won’t see very many z’s.

    This is a prologue, so it is shorter than the average intended chapter. It is intended to present a basic presentation of the main charactres and their pokemon. Nothing of the main summary has been presented, the flashback is not over, and several many various things are yet to occur. Nothing will be imminent.

    The shipping is intended to be progressive, starting from almost no shipping to a lot more shipping. It is intended to have a fluctuated increase in shipping amount per chapter, so it comes relatively overtime and does not have significant current effects.

    Because this is shipping, I do not intend to put much description into any pokemon. However, this does not change the fact that Kenta as a character has the aspiration to become a great trainer, travelling and maturing along with pokemon. Thus, I will incorporate the pokemon, but it will not be mentioned to a very large degree. Most of it intends to be personal interaction among various things.

    I intended to maintain several components that were relatively hoso or anime mentioned. One example of one thing differently is that of using a Denryuu. This is actually yet another tangent.

    This is a work in progress. The main summary is long completed, though I am making several adjustments here and there to improve the content and presentation of each and every chapter. I hope to improve my writing ability as well as maintain your interest in reading this fiction. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this start as I intend to have the plot setup to become more interesting progressively. Reviews, commentary, suggestions, etc are appreciated. Feel free to post any of that.

    I have finals for the next three days currently. As soon as it subsides, I can go full throttle in writing. Like the pace of the story, it starts off slow and steady, then progressively quickens, to a rather small degree.

    Also thanks to those that helped me throttle some ideas and gave me the interest to write this again.

  2. #2
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    Glad to see you've finally gone ahead and posted this fic, S_P! The story itself looks promising and the mysterious red-headed trainer's appearance was a nice touch.

    My only slight complaints about it are:

    One - I noticed you changed tenses mid-paragraph at times. I'd recommend you choose one tense and stick with it, as it makes the story flow much better as a whole.

    Two - Using the Japanese names for Pokemon, characters and even locations, I believe, is fine. However, the Japanese attack names I thought was a bit too much. You've got to keep in mind that a lot of people reading this won't be entirely educated in the details of Pokemon in Japanese. Saying that, however, I loved that little song in the middle of the prologue - it really made the whole fic seem like part of the anime and I thought it was a very, very cool addition.

    Good luck with writing the rest of the fic, I'll be sure to keep my eyes on it, and how the story and the character's develop. Right now it's like a blank canvas and that in itself is very promising.
    Good Love Charm
    *COMPLETE*

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    It's a flashback that was attempted to be both present and past. I think that's where I got the confusion. I'll make sure to make a sufficient check to maintain the tenses further. It's like there was (in the context of the past), but among that past there's another past. However, it's presently presented so it's current, during the past. It was present at the time, but also previously happened. I'll fix that. I'll contemplate on which to use.

    I'll ditch the Japanese pokemon attacks. The places I'll leave alone. The main reason is that Kenta is from Wakaba Town. You never can hear Kenta is from NewBarkTown because it doesn't coexist. Because of how he was presented, which was in Japanese, I decided to use the names and towns in Japanese. Since Kenta is close with his Bakuphoon, it is odd to use Typhlosion. Also a marginal translation of say a Crobat will just be a Crobat, not a Kurobatto or something.

    I'll present the second chapter soon. It's supposed to have significantly more dialogue and present the relationship among the characters. The length I need to improve on, but I felt it was adequate for a simple prologue that was only supposed to introduce it.

    And yes, glad you noticed it's a blank canvas, because it's not in the present. Also, it was a general introduction, using a few things from the hoso without spoiling any of it, without straying from how the anime generally presents some things. Of course since it's progressive shipping, it gradually increases, or increases to a larger degree under certain circumstances.

    This is more in the shape of storytelling, instead of concurrent thoughts. Thoughts WILL occur, but you also don't think about love in the middle of a pokemon battle, so it arises under circumstances, not throughout.

    I tried to keep it straightforward to make it easy to read or follow, but unknown enough so you want to know what happens. Eventually it might appear predictable at some points, but I can't use a blank canvas throughout, only initially.

    Well, I'll set up the next chapter soon. For now, off to studies.

  4. #4
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    Wow S_P. your story is awesome^^. can't wait for the next chapter. But I don't get how you got those japanese words in your story. Where did you get them from?
    .::Signature is being remodel::.

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    The Japanese words for the attacks came from ... watching the hoso. o_O Since it was in Japanese, Kenta says "kaenhousha" instead of "flamethrower". It's either "Bakuphoon, kaenhousha" or "Typhlosion, flamethrower" ... though it was suggested not to use the attacks in romanji. The attacks I used from the previous chapter just happened to be in the hoso, except Protect. Mamoru means protect, and can be heard when any japanese context mentions to protect. I used the English/Japanese reference thread to double check certain romanji styles, since I used to use "Bakufuun" instead of "Bakuphoon". Though, on a first mention, I'll use paranthesis to denote the name the first time around.

    Glad you enjoyed the first part of the prologue. ^___^ I'll continue to incorporate new ideas and improve to make it flow better (tense is still a horrible problem I personally have).

    Well, here's the second part of the prologue. Enjoy! It's supposed to display some characteristics, but only briefly. It's still utilizing an establishment shot.

    Updates:
    -Pokemon attacks are no longer in Japanese Romanji. The names, cities, and pokemon will still be in attempted romanji. This is because Kenta calls his Bakuphoon by it's name more than Typhlosion has been heard in the entire dub anime. If I used Typhlosion, I'd have to call him Jimmy. The hoso never aired in the US, so I'd rather use the name I heard, not the one I never heard.
    -I tried fixing grammar tense, but it is still a problem. My writing style simply had this flaw.
    -Kenta is considered the same age as Marina. Juurokusai was supposed to mean 16 years old.
    -Red Haired character is also considered the same age.
    -This chapter has more dialogue.
    -This isn’t game related but the pokemon movesets can utilize attacks that they would have had to gain from Technical Machines.
    -Some simple Japanese may be used. For example: "Oi." o_O;;
    -Italics denote a train of thought.

    Random note: Marina obtained a Denryuu by catching a happy little Mareep. I also forgot to say that Wakaba Town is New Bark Town.

    Prologue continued: Clavis?

    We left off where Kenta was seen congratulating his pokemon at a nearby park. He and his pokemon frolicked in glee, producing a victory dance. Bakuphoon was roaring with its large flame bursting from its back. It flexed its muscles like a bodybuilder, and cheered with great delight. The red-haired charactre approached him with great confidence.

    “Oi, how long do you intend on celebrating like a fool? Celebrate when you attain the award, not in a vacant park,” the red-haired charactre commented.

    “Hm, it's you again. Didn’t I eliminate you in the semifinals?” Kenta retorted.

    “Heh, that was just round one. Since you’re merely resting now and don't seem busy, let’s battle. Right here, right now!”

    “And what if I don’t?”

    “For someone who aspires to become a pokemon master, I’d be rather surprised if you would decline a mere exhibition match. Wasn’t it I that jumpstarted your training?”

    “You have a point there. I would say it was more of a surprise attack.” Wait, which pokemon should I use? I normally would love to use Bakuphoon, but not when it’s far below 30%. I nearly had it knock itself out to take out Denryuu who was evenly matched with it.

    “I merely overpowered you back then. I'll overpower you again this time. This will be a one on one match. Go, Nidoking!” instructed the red-haired boy.

    “Baka!” Bakuphoon roared, eager to battle its rival pokemon again.

    “Stay back, Bakuphoon! Rest now. Alright, let’s go, Spear (Beedrill)!” Kenta stated.

    “How pathetic! You try to conserve your Bakuphoon, who represents your burning ambition as a trainer. Even a 30% Bakuphoon is far more useful than a 70% Spear. You can’t even charge in with this smaller pokemon!”

    “Tch, as if! Spear, use Twineedle now!”

    “Hmph, Nidoking, grab its needles!” Nidoking had managed to grab a hold of Kenta’s powerful Spear. This could have only meant trouble. “Now, use Seismic Toss!”

    Nidoking had launched itself into the air by springing itself off the ground with its massive tail. The force of the launch rendered Spear useless, as its arms were trapped in Nidoking’s powerful grasp. Had Spear not charged in so quickly, the force of its speed would not have been rerouted to have indirectly assisted Nidoking in its Seismic Toss throw speed.

    “Spear, brace yourself with Endure, now!”

    A collision to the ground had produced a hefty amount of smoke. After the smoke had cleared, Nidoking was standing strong, unphased at all. Spear on the other hand lied down unconscious.

    “Oh no, Spear!”

    Spear did not respond at all.

    “Next time we meet, you should use Bakuphoon and only Bakuphoon. Perhaps you aren’t aware of this, but your most treasured pokemon had its spirit broken from you not electing to use it. You knew you were helpless as soon as Spear was thrown. Now it’s barely has any energy, using it just to endure the force of the throw. Bakuphoon would have provided a much better battle”

    “It’s virtually exhausted!”

    “Yes but it would rather have a fight to defend its pride. Your Spear never had a need to battle my Nidoking, but your Bakuphoon loves to go against it. This is a mere exhibition battle, you need not to be disappointed about anything. However, your choice was rather out of character for someone like you. Don’t you know how much it kills one’s fighting spirit by protecting it in a circumstance where it defends its pride? Your Bakuphoon represents you best. Unlike your other pokemon, it isn’t as weak! It probably prefers to battle its best and lose instead of being helpless to your victory or loss at all!”

    “I don’t put my friends into battles when they just finished one. They need to rest.”

    “They do, but it doesn’t change the fact that you love to battle. Well, defeating a mere Spear isn’t much to flaunt about. I’ll leave you be. I don’t think your Bakuphoon feels the same though.”

    “Next time, challenge me when I’m ready instead!”

    “When I beat your Hinoarashi the first time, the loss gave you the maximum willpower to grow stronger and focus on training it. It gave you the aspiration to grow with it. You may have had a little puny Beedle around when you were a child first, but it doesn’t change the fact that your starter was and always will be your marquis player. Don’t disappoint it from not letting it battle. It’s not like you were under any certain danger. Next time don’t disappoint me like this.”

    “Fine. We’ll be bound to meet again.”

    With that said, the red-haired character left Kenta alone. Defeated, Kenta lost his triumphant victory over Marina. By obtaining a loss immediately after winning the championship feels much less of a victory. What concerned him more was not allowing Bakuphoon to battle when it wanted to defend its pride.

    “Bakuphoon, are you alright?” Kenta asked.

    “Baka!” Bakuphoon roared again, with a much more stingy sound of disapproval. “Baka, baka, baka!” (Note: the sound it produces isn’t actually Baka, but rather Buh-kah, or something.)

    “Right,” Kenta turned to his Spear, “sorry I put you through that, Spear.”

    “Spear!” Spear sounded.

    Kenta returned his pokemon and quickly headed off to the Pokemon Centre to deposit his pokemon with Nurse Joy. Nurse Joy affirmed him that his pokemon will be restored the next day.

    Kenta left the building with a quick sigh. How could I have let myself lose like that? If I lose a 1 v 1 match, it should be with Bakuphoon. We’re supposed to grow up together. As a team, we win together and we lose together. Was I merely being selfish? I’m sure Bakuphoon can forgive me, but I should rethink about roles.

    Despite the train of thought, he headed over to the small restaurant where he was supposed to rendezvous with Marina. There wasn’t a large line, since most of the attendants to the Silver Conference eagerly await the award ceremony. The town itself wasn’t largely populated.

    Kenta had arrived at the restaurant, disappointed that he does not see Marina in sight. He had the idea of calling her, but he decided to elect not to. Much to his surprise, a slight tap on his shoulder occurred. It was no other than Marina.

    “Konbanwa, Kenta.”

    “Oh, hey Marina.”

    “Miss me?”

    “Yeah, it’s been a long day.”

    “Oi, after just thirty minutes you already miss me? Aw, I didn’t think you’d want to see me that badly. What’s wrong? Your face looks gloomy. This isn’t the Kenta that I know.”

    “Well, I just lost a battle before coming here, so I’m rather out of it.”

    “Beaten by Nidoking a second time around?”

    “How did you know?”

    “Oh come on, who else besides him would battle you for a rematch? The opportunity presents itself if you’re sighted resting at a park.”

    “I suppose you’re right. Though I worry that I hurt Bakuphoon’s spirit by not using it, after having that fierce battle with your Denryuu.”

    “You’re just concerned you’d overuse it. You normally don’t have consecutive battles anyways.”

    “Yeah, I’ll let it go then. Can’t be perfect anyways.”

    “Hey, you have time right? Want something to drink? It’s on me.”

    The next scene presents the two seated down, facing one another. Kenta is seen on the left, and Marina is seen on the right. The window is seen on the background, and a passing by waitress is seen on the foreground.

    “How’s the drink?”

    “It’s pretty good, thanks again for the offer. I feel better than I did earlier.”

    “Well, I hope it was a lesson learned. You might be the champion, but you can still improve in other characteristics. There’s no questing your battling passion and ability.”

    “Yeah.”

    “Well it’s good that you’re well focused. I’ll never have to second guess that. Now that you won the tournament, what do you intend to do next?”

    “I want to go home so I can see my mother.”

    “Oh yes, she’s such a sweet lady.”

    “Yeah, you two are like opposites.”

    “Hey, take that back! I’m not that much different.”

    “I’ll change my mind if you become a mom and have a kid that’s like me.”

    “Someday, but that’s still far away. I want to complete my aspiration to become an Idol Trainer before settling down.”

    “You’re still aiming to do that?” I’m surprised settling down even comes across your mind. Don’t tell me you’ll surpass Wataru-sama and then marry him all of a sudden.

    “Yeah, training hard to obtain eight Jouto badges took lots of time away from my singing and dancing. I couldn’t spend time on learning new choreography.”

    “Where did you learn your dancing?”

    “You interested in dancing? Ha, that’s a secret! Don’t tell me you also want to be an idol trainer all of a sudden. You make fun of them.”

    “Well, that’s not quite it.” Can we ever dance someday? (This is a childhood notation.)

    “If you’re interested, find a place where some art of dancing is practised. It’s not as common as gyms, but there are definitely several places that practise such art.”

    “I’ll look into it then. Training may be my passion, but it wears me down, so I take well paced rests and spend time grooming my pokemon. Perhaps I need to spend time doing something besides nothing but pokemon.”

    “Well, you do have a natural talent, and you always work hard, so I doubt your abilities will diminish. It’s nice to try something new. I won’t show you around to dancing, but I can definitely take you shopping after your celebration at home.”

    “You’re not coming home after the award ceremony?”

    “Oh no, there’s a ferry that leaves early tomorrow morning. I wanted to go to the Houen region to meet with a childhood friend that I haven’t seen in years. Remember that family that moved several years back?”

    “Yeah, I have some vague memory of that. You got in touch with him?”

    “I heard he was interested in this style called contest battling. He said that it would match my strength and hobby in singing and dancing. You utilize your pokemon and time a sequence of attacks to put on a show. It’s perfect!”

    “Such a strange guy.”

    “You think it’s weird now but just you wait and see. I wanted a crash tutorial on it. He’s had some good experience with it.”

    “Uh, Marina … you don’t happen do like this guy do you?”

    “Him? Oh no, definitely not. Like I said, I haven’t seen him in a long time. It will be nice to catch up with him, but I’m not interested in any guys that I hardly spend any time with. You need that certain close connection.”

    Not interested in any guys that you hardly spend any time with? That must include me then, since the last time I saw you was during that Raikou incident. And to think you’re heading straight to Houen before even celebrating your success in this tournament. Do you intend to travel in Houen instead of Kanto?

    “Hey Kenta, speaking of which, do you have a girlfriend currently?”

    “Huh?”

    “A girlfriend. You don’t tell me much about how you’ve been aside from your pokemon aspirations. You don’t call me either, and Jun’ichi said that he hasn’t talked to you in a long while. So, I understand you have your privacy, but I was just curious to know if you had some sort of secret going on like that.”

    “Ah, no, I don’t have a girlfriend. It’s just that ….”

    “You like someone?”

    “Hah? Uh …well….”

    “Perhaps I’m going too far. You don’t need to tell me now. I’ll make sure we spend some time together after your celebration at home. It’s nice talking to you like this.”

    “Yeah, so how’s Jun’ichi doing?”

    “He’s still perfecting his battle style. Going to more extremes with his cape shuffling, I just hope he doesn’t end up tripping to cost himself a big match that he doesn’t take too seriously.”

    “Same old Jun’ichi. I wouldn’t be surprised him if I saw him awhile later and see him still the same as he always has been.”

    “You really should keep in touch with him. I don’t notice you two talking at all.”

    “Mmm …”

    The large speaker phones situated throughout the roofs of the many different buildings became operational to send a large message. “Announcement: all trainer participants please come to the stadium to attend the award ceremony. I repeat: all trainer participants please come to the stadium to attend the award ceremony. The ceremony will start at 2100 hours.”

    “I guess we should get going then. We have about ten minutes.”

    “Alright, let’s go.”

    And off they went. Fireworks were being prepared as stadium lights began to shine brightly.

    *Flashback ends, for now*

    ~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#~~~~~#

    Author's Note: Rival had too much corny lengthed dialogue. It was meant to explain some indirect history because unlike Kenta and Marina who appeared in a hoso, he only appeared in an introduction. Thus, there is literally zero information. Also, he's somewhat of a jerk in the game and is really cold, which I did not want to set his character on. I'd rather think he's a confident aggressive rival with similar strengths as Kenta. Though, I can't really explain his aspirations. It's not the same.

    Another note: Projected sounds are odd. There's only so much to sound effects like "grr", "argh", "hmph", and such. O_o

    Well, this is the brief basis. A lot more is to come in the future. I'll try to finish a little bit faster.

    EDIT: Forgot to italicise.
    Last edited by S_P; 31st March 2006 at 6:03 AM.

  6. #6
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    Hmmm. IT's a great story, but i would say that if the story had japanese instead of romaji for japanese phrases, maybe it's more readable, as japanese romaji looks like german as it has superlong words. Frankfurter for starters. That's a really short word in german. it means sausages *(opps, have i gone off topic?)* Anayay, it's great to see some really good standard fanfics and especially Questshipping FFs.

    By Yami Ookami

    My MSN Space! http://kentamarina-lot.spaces.live.com/ For Questshippers!!!

  7. #7
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    Man, I haven't read any shipping fics in ages... The title and shipping caught my eye, though, so I'll do my best to review. ^^;

    I don't really have much to say, other than what has already been said. Like Gazmof, I really enjoyed the lyrics of Aratanaru Chikai in the beginning. I also really liked how you used japanese phrases and names for towns and attacks. Rival making an appearance is cool, too. Kenta and Marina's conversation about dancing was really cute btw. X3

    Description/detail/spelling are all great imo, I don't see anything that should be changed. You already know that you have to work on writing in one tense, and I know that's hard, so I don't really have a problem with it. Everyone seems to be in character, so I can't really point out anything OOC, lol.

    I can't wait for the next chapter! Good luck on your finals, and keep up the good work!


    アイドル活動!

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    I have this to comment.

    SPACES, man, SPACES! And capitals, too. I mean, why not 'Hikari no Kabe' instead of 'hikarinokabe'? Would make more sense!

    That said, well, it's lacking italics, you could have put some '' when people are thinking or talking to themselves, there were some missing commas... but it's a good fic. You'll just need to bear these in mind.

    If you wouldn't mind, I could try being a beta/editor for you. What do you say?

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