Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: The Birthday Present (One-Shot Contestshippy)

  1. #1

    Default The Birthday Present (One-Shot Contestshippy)

    Yes, I know, last names are a little made up, but who cares? Here's my one-shot, hope you like it.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The Birthday Present (One-Shot)

    If only I could tell him how I feel. If only, if only. May Maple sat on a tree branch in a tree outside of Littleroot town, staring down at the ground. She noticed a head of messy green hair below her, sitting silently, waiting.

    ***

    “God, where is she?” The green haired trainer murmured. He went by Drew Newton, and was a master Coordinator. No one could best him. Except May. Gorgeous, thoughtful May. Her brown hair looked so soft, her blue eyes sometimes pierced him like ice.

    “Damn, where is she? I’ve been looking all day and still haven’t seen her!” He muttered yet again, and a soft, accented voice above him said, “Where’s who?”

    Drew glanced up. May. “Uh, heh, hey May!” He said nervously, running a hand through his floppy green hair, “Fancy seeing you here!”

    “Yeah... Why are you here, so close to my hometown, and who are you looking for?” May asked, amusement in her sapphire blue eyes.

    Fear flecked Drew’s emerald eyes, then he said, “No one in particular. And I didn’t know you lived in Littleroot.” Actually, Drew did know May lived in Littleroot, why else would he be hanging out in that boring town?

    May, still looking amused, asked, “Perhaps you were looking for me?”

    Drew jumped. “You? Never! Why would I be looking for you? Heh, bye!” He said quickly, and bolted, hand going to his belt for a Pokeball.

    “DAMN IT, DREW, GET BACK HERE!!!” May yelled, startling Drew so bad he fell over. A foot came down on his back, pinning him.

    “Now, tell me who you were looking for and you won’t get hurt.” May said cheerfully.

    “You.” Drew said inaudibly.

    “What was that again?” May asked. She didn’t think she wanted to hear the answer.

    “FINE, GOD DAMN IT, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU!” Drew yelled, his voice echoing off the trees, like a supersonic fired from a Zubat heading back.

    May’s smile faded, shock spreading across her already confused face.

    “M- me?” She murmured, and the reply was, “Yes, you, dummy! Why else would I be at the boring town of Littleroot on your birthday?!”

    “Oh. I forgot today was my birthday.” May muttered, blushing a deep red.

    “Well, happy birthday.” Drew said, leaning towards her. May’s eyes widened, but she leaned back in towards him, and their lips met halfway.

    “Happy birthday, May Maple.” Drew murmured, pulling away. And he ran into the fading light of the sun, leaving May standing where he’d left her, fingers to her tingling lips.

    “Yeah... See ya later, Drew.” May murmured back, turning and walking home, the memory of Drew’s kiss still in her head, “It was a happy birthday all right...”
    ~~~~~~~~
    Hmmm.... a very short one shot... I'll try to lengthen it, (hey, it was 2 pages on my word processor!)
    ~Kitteh

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ____behind you :OO
    Posts
    1,289

    Default

    It's...sweet! But...why didn't they kiss? -_-
    Anyway...sweet story! But still...I'm still broading over the fact they didn't kiss...
    STRAWBERRIES : DD
    (they rock and don't deny it or I'll send the strawberry army after you)

  3. #3

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by May_Beautifly
    It's...sweet! But...why didn't they kiss? -_-
    Anyway...sweet story! But still...I'm still broading over the fact they didn't kiss...
    Hello! Did you read the part where it said, "Their lips met halfway."????? lol. But did you see that part? o.O

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ____behind you :OO
    Posts
    1,289

    Default

    They did? I thought 'lips met halfway' meant that they almost kissed, but Drew pulled away. So...Yay! They did! And don't ask me how I got to use the computer...my mom let me...I have no idea 0_o Well...maybe it's because I finished my homework.

    But still...I don't get your post. Did they kiss anot?
    STRAWBERRIES : DD
    (they rock and don't deny it or I'll send the strawberry army after you)

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by May_Beautifly
    They did? I thought 'lips met halfway' meant that they almost kissed, but Drew pulled away. So...Yay! They did! And don't ask me how I got to use the computer...my mom let me...I have no idea 0_o Well...maybe it's because I finished my homework.

    But still...I don't get your post. Did they kiss anot?
    YES, May and Drew kissed!!!! "Their lips met halfway" means that they both leaned in, and their lips met in the middle!!!! Grrr! XD

    ~Kitteh

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    New Tork City
    Posts
    7,718

    Default

    Very nice. May and Drew are one of those couples who are just adorable together.

    (Banner by Matori)
    Beyond all ideals, the truth shall set you free...
    Most Recent: 17: The Bard and the Diva
    Next: Winter of Discontent

    The steps on the road to the truth.
    The Firestorm Rebellion
    The Victory Star of Fate


    Glacidia Network - The Home for Fanworks
    Best Wishes appreciation blog

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    the UG
    Posts
    3,434

    Default

    This is pretty cute. The only thing I can advise is combining sentences together instead of having smaller, choppy fragments. Keep up the good work!

    take me somewhere stars are still asleep.

  8. #8

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler
    Very nice. May and Drew are one of those couples who are just adorable together.
    Thanks. I know this was really short... I might add more to it... o.O

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    New Tork City
    Posts
    7,718

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kitteh
    Thanks. I know this was really short... I might add more to it... o.O
    You're welcome. I've found that once you get an idea and begin typing, it flows naturally to the end. That's how I wrote Super Trouper. (end blatant plug :P) What I mean is, if you look at it and it seems right the way it is, there's no need to add or take away.

    (Banner by Matori)
    Beyond all ideals, the truth shall set you free...
    Most Recent: 17: The Bard and the Diva
    Next: Winter of Discontent

    The steps on the road to the truth.
    The Firestorm Rebellion
    The Victory Star of Fate


    Glacidia Network - The Home for Fanworks
    Best Wishes appreciation blog

  10. #10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Great Butler
    You're welcome. I've found that once you get an idea and begin typing, it flows naturally to the end. That's how I wrote Super Trouper. (end blatant plug :P) What I mean is, if you look at it and it seems right the way it is, there's no need to add or take away.
    OK. Thanks, and I have a question... (I'm new to the shippiness and one-shots and stuff) is it possible to have a sequel to a one-shot? (I'm also new to the site)

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    1,590

    Default

    I like the detail and description. "And he ran into the fading light of the sun, leaving May standing where he’d left her, fingers to her tingling lips" was really good.

    But, of course, the major drawback is its length. So, Drew comes out of nowhere to May, they bicker, Drew yells something shipping in all caps to her, kisses her, and then leaves. Buh? This seems if anything to be the ending to a longer fic. Nice idea, but not a good presentation. ^^;

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    New Tork City
    Posts
    7,718

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kitteh
    OK. Thanks, and I have a question... (I'm new to the shippiness and one-shots and stuff) is it possible to have a sequel to a one-shot? (I'm also new to the site)
    I don't see why not.

    (Banner by Matori)
    Beyond all ideals, the truth shall set you free...
    Most Recent: 17: The Bard and the Diva
    Next: Winter of Discontent

    The steps on the road to the truth.
    The Firestorm Rebellion
    The Victory Star of Fate


    Glacidia Network - The Home for Fanworks
    Best Wishes appreciation blog

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ____behind you :OO
    Posts
    1,289

    Default

    YES, May and Drew kissed!!!! "Their lips met halfway" means that they both leaned in, and their lips met in the middle!!!! Grrr! XD
    Ok then...They did! Yay!

    I don't see why not.
    Agreed.
    STRAWBERRIES : DD
    (they rock and don't deny it or I'll send the strawberry army after you)

  14. #14

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by May_Beautifly
    Ok then...They did! Yay!



    Agreed.
    Yes. Took you long enough to realize they kissed. Lol. (Working on another fic... yayz...)

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ____behind you :OO
    Posts
    1,289

    Default

    Yes. Took you long enough to realize they kissed. Lol. (Working on another fic... yayz...)
    As long it is a contestshipping fic...Yay!
    STRAWBERRIES : DD
    (they rock and don't deny it or I'll send the strawberry army after you)

  16. #16

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by May_Beautifly
    As long it is a contestshipping fic...Yay!
    Yup, it's a contestshippy alright. XD (You want a spoiler??)

        Spoiler:


    Ooh... contestshipping early on... o.O

    ~Kitteh

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ____behind you :OO
    Posts
    1,289

    Default

    YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
    I totally LOVE that spoiler!
    I didn't know that     Spoiler:
    would do that such of things...I would only imagine     Spoiler:
    to do that...but...oh well. Can't wait for that fic.
    STRAWBERRIES : DD
    (they rock and don't deny it or I'll send the strawberry army after you)

  18. #18

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by May_Beautifly
    YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
    I totally LOVE that spoiler!
    I didn't know that     Spoiler:
    would do that such of things...I would only imagine     Spoiler:
    to do that...but...oh well. Can't wait for that fic.
    Well, hey, you wanna read my new one-shot?? It's called "Crazy For This Girl (a one-shot Contestshippy)" oooh... XD

    ~Kitteh

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •