Sorry I had not replied Great Butler! Been busy with my comedy one shot and had just finished a long review for Typhlogirl's story "The Pokemon Rebellion". Okay, here is is the review.
So far, so good. The battle between Rich and Snattle was intense. Good thing Rich had won.
Also, It's cute how Anabel and Rich were teaching the kids. Could be they might be teachers when they get older!^-^
Lastly, the battles in Chapter Five is good so far. And oy, you made yourself another Pokemon! Sonifone looks like a good Pokemon. It would be funny if in Diamond and Pearl there will be a microphone like Pokemon!
Alright! Another Chapter! The Juggernaut seems to be the talk of the show... Wonder which Pokemon he uses? Maybe he's Spoiler:
the Deep King from Colosseum.
But I'm probably wrong. Anyway, great Chapter as usual, I liked the appearance of the guy with the Eeveelutions. Also, the appearance of the new Pokemon is another great addition to the story, you really pulled it off well. Great job, no mistakes that I can find, and I can't wait for the next Chapter!
Until we meet again...
The Legacy Continues
A story of events in the world of Pokémon, long after Ash Ketchum has retired from the scene. His young child, determined to surpass even her father's incredible achievements, has a long and fantastic journey ahead of her... even as forces greater than any known before conspire to arrange their own ends behind the scenes.
Returning soon, revised and infinitely better than the original.
Haven't replied a lot Butler, but here I am. Good chapters and segment, the thing that I enjoyed a lot is Soniphone, it would be nice if he hade an evolution. I found a minimal typos error, in the Justy chapter, at the beginning of the battle you spelled "Cacture" instead of "Cacturne. Also, Fateen's prediction is becoming true, Rich and Anabel were separated. I think that Rich already knows about Fateen's prediction starting, and that is why he gave the flute to Anabel, for she to be save. And another thing, the Juggernaut is Spoiler:
Malin
, I know that I said that Enigma Shadow's leader was her, but I just know that I'm wrong. And with that, I say "Keep It Up" (quite predictable right?)
Fair enough, but they still seem pretty close to me. If 'brutish' describes the behavior of a brute, wouldn't a brute who acts recklessly and violently be behaving brutally?
Also, It's cute how Anabel and Rich were teaching the kids. Could be they might be teachers when they get older!^-^
Looking back, I wish I had done a joke with the kid whose Trapinch digs and doesn't come back. There's gold in that.
Lastly, the battles in Chapter Five is good so far. And oy, you made yourself another Pokemon! Sonifone looks like a good Pokemon. It would be funny if in Diamond and Pearl there will be a microphone like Pokemon!
You know where that inspiration came from? Surprisingly, Kirby Super Star for the Super NES. There was a microphone-like enemy that gave you the ability to use three sonic boom attacks that defeated all enemies onscreen.
Also, the appearance of the new Pokemon is another great addition to the story, you really pulled it off well.
Thanks. And there will be more.
soniphone???? is that a pokemon you made up or something butler?
Yes, Sonifone is my creation.
Good chapters and segment, the thing that I enjoyed a lot is Soniphone, it would be nice if he hade an evolution.
I might do that. Haven't decided for sure yet.
Fateen's prediction is becoming true, Rich and Anabel were separated. I think that Rich already knows about Fateen's prediction starting, and that is why he gave the flute to Anabel, for she to be save.
Not quite; Fateen said Spoiler:
they'd be seperated at the hand of Enigma Shadow's leader. They're seperated now by an accident.
(Banner by Matori) Beyond all ideals, the truth shall set you free...
Most Recent: 9: Disconnection
Next: The Beasts Within
Okay, so Great Butler asked me to do a nice favor for him, so here it is:
Levenen
Type: Grass / Flying
Moves: Pound, Encore, Hop, Razor Leaf, Charm, Peck, Aerial Manuvers (Flying version of charge), Wing Attack, Fly, Focus Energy.
Special Ability: Leaf Wind- When this Pokémon is attacked by a move that would be super-effective on it, its Defense OR Special Defense increases by 2 (depending on the type of the attack).
That's what I have so far. I'll update the thing soon. Oh yeah, this is the unevolved form of the Grass starter for Zuki.
Banner: Me | Clubs: May/Drew/Harley/TR
Member of the Gay Alliance; I'm Openly Gay
Bishie: Totemo Harley | Ship: Cactus Thorn
Couple: Harley x Jessie | Song: Together
Game: XD Gale of Darkness | Character: Netto Hikari
All of your guesses as to Juggernaut's identity are good. In fact, someone's guessed TOO good. That's right.....*someone* has already guessed it. Who? .....aha, not spoiling it yet!
Yes, a peon did call the new leader a he earlier.......but do recall how there were TWO leaders in the first story. Could this be the same way?
(Banner by Matori) Beyond all ideals, the truth shall set you free...
Most Recent: 9: Disconnection
Next: The Beasts Within
Okay then. I have here Falleaf (falling leaf) and Tropican (tropical toucan), the evolved forms. Levenen evolves at 15 and into Tropican with Leaf Stone. The additions to them is that Falleaf is a Grass-Dark while Tropican is a Grass-Fighting; they also both know Fury Cutter and Leaf Cutter, a trademark move for it (like Rollout, but for Grass types and instead of having the double effect, the critical hit ratio increases). More later!
Banner: Me | Clubs: May/Drew/Harley/TR
Member of the Gay Alliance; I'm Openly Gay
Bishie: Totemo Harley | Ship: Cactus Thorn
Couple: Harley x Jessie | Song: Together
Game: XD Gale of Darkness | Character: Netto Hikari
"This Snagem Colosseum knockout challenge is now in the semifinals! Ladies and gentlemen, your first two semifinalists!"
Rich entered from the left gate, as usual. From the right came a man dressed very much like Biden, except visibly older and wearing large round glasses.
"Semifinal match, Rich versus Wakin! Let the battle begin!"
"So you're the one who beat Biden? You're good to get this far. But here is where it stops!"
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Pkmn Trainer Rich ---vs.--- Team Snagem Wakin
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
[Wakin throws two Poké Balls, sending out a Vileplume and a Jumpluff]
"Grass types. I should be able to handle this. Go, Blaziken and Alakazam!"
"Hmph. Jumpluff, Sunny Day!"
Jumpluff waved its arms, then blinding light filled the arena. Rich had to pull down his hat to keep the light from blinding him, but Wakin's glasses seemed to protect his eyes.
"Don't fall for that, Alakazam! Fire Punch!"
Alakazam rushed Jumpluff and tried to hit it with a fiery punch, but the light blinded it and made it miss.
"Amazing.....I've never seen Sunny Day used defensively before.....Blaziken, Fire Blast!"
Blaziken launched a fireball at Vileplume, but again, its aim was thrown off by the blinding light and it missed.
"Heheheh. Vileplume, send him to beddy-bye with Sleep Powder!"
Vileplume sprayed a green powder on Alakazam, making it fall asleep.
"Jumpluff, Pay Day!"
Again Jumpluff shook its arms, this time to launch a flurry of gold coins at Blaziken. The coins hit and caused some damage.
"Vileplume, now is when the kid gloves come off! Solarbeam!"
Vileplume fired a huge beam of green light at Alakazam, hitting it extremely hard.
"Alakazam, wake up!"
Alakazam heard Rich's call and woke up, but still seemed too drowsy to attack.
"Blaziken, try a Flamethrower this time!"
Blaziken loosed a stream of fire from its mouth at Vileplume. This time the attack hit, and because the flames were powered up by the sun, the flower Pokémon fainted.
"So you felled my Vileplume. Not bad. Vileplume, return! Go, Illumise!"
Wakin sent out an Illumise, which immediately activated the Aura Reader. It was the Shadow Illumise that had escaped earlier.
"Jumpluff, use a Solarbeam!"
Jumpluff's spores glowed green, then it fired a Solarbeam at Alakazam. This one defeated the psychic Pokémon.
"Alakazam, return! Let's go, Ludicolo! Blaziken, Fire Punch!"
Blaziken's fist became a ball of flame, then it rushed Jumpluff and hit it with the burning punch. Jumpluff took incredible damage and fainted.
"Ooooh.....Jumpluff, return! No more of these games.....go, Tropican!"
Wakin's last Pokémon was one Rich had never seen before.
"Tropican? I've never seen that either......"
Rich flipped open the P*DA and scanned Tropican.
"Tropican, the tropical toucan Pokémon. Type is Grass/Fighting. Evolved form of Falleaf, which evolves from Levenen. Fights with sharp blades it makes from leaves. Wild Tropican are only found in the most remote jungles on tropical islands far out to sea. Despite losing its ability to fly long distances, it can still use the flight-based attacks learned early in its life."
"Hmmmm, I like that Tropican, Wakin."
"Heheheh, thanks. It took a lot of work to raise, but it was worth it."
"Ludicolo, Hydro Pump!"
Ludicolo fired a jet of water that hit Illumise with some force.
"Alright, Illumise, Shadow Panic!"
Illumise cast a pair of dark clouds toward Rich's team. When they hit, the clouds burst into dark stars, inflicting confusion on Blaziken and Ludicolo.
"Tropican, Fury Cutter!"
Tropican wielded a leaf like a sword, and slashed Ludicolo with it. The attack was super-effective but only did a small amount of damage.
"Ludicolo, Hydro Pump again!"
Ludicolo fired another water jet at Illumise, weakening it greatly.
"Snag Ball, go!"
Rich threw a Snag Ball at Illumise. The ball absorbed its target, fell to the floor, and rocked..........
once...........
twice..........
.......then it burst open, releasing Illumise. The Snag had failed.
"Hahahah! Snagging my Shadow Pokémon ain't easy, eh? Illumise, Shadow Rave!"
Illumise launched spikes of shadow energy at Rich's team, doing a bit of damage to both Pokémon.
"Tropican, Fury Cutter again!"
Tropican slashed Ludicolo with its blade again, doing a bit more damage than the last time.
"I'll try another Snag Ball! Go!"
Rich threw another Snag Ball. After absorbing Illumise and falling to the floor it rocked once........
twice..........
and three times, then it pinged. This time the Snag succeeded.
"Gah! My Shadow Pokémon!"
"Heh. And now the battle is nearing an end! Blaziken, Fire Blast!"
Blaziken overcame its confusion and hit Tropican with a very powerful fireball. Surprisingly, however, it did not faint.
"Tropican, Fury Cutter! Let's go!"
Once again Tropican slashed Ludicolo. This one nearly knocked it out, but not quite.
"Ludicolo, finish it! Fire Punch!"
Ludicolo, also overcoming its confusion, jumped at Tropican and hit it with a fiery punch. This time, Tropican fainted.
"Maybe I should stick to putting my targets to sleep......."
As he was sitting in the waiting room, waiting for the next match, Rich had taken out a picture of Anabel and was staring at it.
"Oh, Anabel.......I know you are in good hands with Justy and Nurse Joy, but you are still suffering.......I am suffering too, being away from you. I would gladly give up my challenge of Orre's Colosseums to be with you right now....but if this is what you wanted, me continuing to press on, I have to oblige....."
"Uh....excuse me, Mr. Mistbloom?"
Rich jumped in surprise and turned around. He hadn't noticed that the attendant had returned.
"Oh, did you hear all of that?! I....I...."
"It's alright, Mr. Mistbloom. I don't know the details, but I can understand how you feel. I came to tell you we have your next match."
"Very well. I'm ready."
"I should advise you, sir.....your next match is against the Juggernaut."
Last edited by The Great Butler; 23rd May 2006 at 1:24 AM.
(Banner by Matori) Beyond all ideals, the truth shall set you free...
Most Recent: 9: Disconnection
Next: The Beasts Within
Nice chapters, but I found a battle typo (I think)
At the very last moment, however, Ludicolo put up a Protect. The electricity hit the shield and exploded, doing no harm.
"I don't think we need to hold back anymore, Tyranitar. Earthquake!"
Tyranitar jumped up and slammed its entire weight down on the ground, creating a powerful shock wave. Ludicolo was hit but not terribly affected, while Eevee was all but knocked out and Jolteon instantly fainted.
Shouldn't have Ludicolo's Protect protect it from Earthquake?
Somebody guessed who Juggernaut is? I'll have to go look. I have an idea about something. There are alot of new Pokemon appearing. That leads me to believe that Spoiler:
Manafi or Lucario could be shadows!
You never were there....but you never were here, either... This the Prince Manaphy, my bishie. *hugs*
Thanks to Coronis for the Manaphy sprite and ~*SeijisSeviper*~ for the Anti-Manaphy!
"So you felled my Vileplume. Not bad. Vileplume, return! Go, Illumise!"
I know, I know. Is felled a word? I just want to bring that to your attention.
Fair enough, but they still seem pretty close to me. If 'brutish' describes the behavior of a brute, wouldn't a brute who acts recklessly and violently be behaving brutally?
I dunno. But brutish describes a brute. Brutal describe reckless. So they don't have to be a brute to be brutal. So brutish and brutal is a bit different, I think. You can leave it at it is.
~PEACE~
//One sanctuary. One fandom. A new type of sophisticated... crack.
; died and rose again... for a while
; reviewer profile [ x ]
Another great Chapter! I like the appearance of new Pokemon, it makes things interesting. And I remember that guy... he made me really mad when he put me to sleep on XD and took the Snag Machine. Then I loved it when he used his Gloom again, on the people guarding the entrance to the factory. Muahahaha. Still wanted to make him pay, though. Anyway, i did find one typo:
"Oh, Anabel.......I know you are in good hands with Justy and Nurse Joy, but you are still suffering.......I am suffering too, being away from you. I would gladly give up my challenge of Orre's Colosseums to be with you right now....but if this is what you wanted, me continuing to press on, I have to oblige....."
The "i" shouldn't be in "Colosseums." Also, this entire pargraph just radiates an awkwardness to me, but I can't figure out how to fix it. Oh well. Can't wait for the next Chapter Part (and the Juggernaut)!
Until we meet again...
The Legacy Continues
A story of events in the world of Pokémon, long after Ash Ketchum has retired from the scene. His young child, determined to surpass even her father's incredible achievements, has a long and fantastic journey ahead of her... even as forces greater than any known before conspire to arrange their own ends behind the scenes.
Returning soon, revised and infinitely better than the original.
I liked it, the chapter I mean. I too have found an error...I believe at least. You said that ''Blaziken's fist became icy, then it let out a Fire Punch'' (Or something along those lines) but shouldn't its hands have become firey?
Sorry I have been away, Great Butler. Anyway, I, unlike some, do not believe the Juggernaut is Deep King. I believe he is an original character, possibly a Shadow Admin. After all, when you have an author full of surprises, half inane charecters, and deranged villans, anything is possible. Also, I suspect the Juggernaut is undefeated because of a Shadow Pokemon. I look forward to the battle against the Juggernaut. Lights, camera, ACTION!
*drops in* My usual formal hello. Loved the battles in the last two chapters I missed and I just want you to know that I am always reading the exciting installments that you make.
Thank you for all the kind replies. I had been in a bit of a rush last night as I typed it, so some mistakes probably did slip through. I'll fix them in a moment.
Shouldn't have Ludicolo's Protect protect it from Earthquake?
It should, yes, but that's where I hit a major snag trying to balance the anime battle style with that of the games; Ludicolo standing there with a shield up continually would look rather strange.
I know, I know. Is felled a word? I just want to bring that to your attention
Yes, albeit a rarely used one. It basically means the same as defeated. (Rich defeated/felled Wakin's Vileplume.....)
I dunno. But brutish describes a brute. Brutal describe reckless. So they don't have to be a brute to be brutal. So brutish and brutal is a bit different, I think. You can leave it at it is.
Fair enough. Agree to disagree.
Another great Chapter! I like the appearance of new Pokemon, it makes things interesting. And I remember that guy... he made me really mad when he put me to sleep on XD and took the Snag Machine. Then I loved it when he used his Gloom again, on the people guarding the entrance to the factory.
New Pokémon are fun wobbuffetds has generously agreed to allow me to use his original Pokémon from his fic. I'd recommend giving his a read too, to show how much y'all appreciate his contribution. I'll be adding some new ones of my own as well.
And is it just me, or did that scene at the S.S. Libra in XD really creep anyone else out? Wakin is obviously much older than Michael, yet there he is essentially drugging the poor kid to make him sleep......and the fact that there's three Snagem grunts at once.....and the fact I have a sick, sick mind O_o
The "i" shouldn't be in "Colosseums." Also, this entire pargraph just radiates an awkwardness to me, but I can't figure out how to fix it. Oh well. Can't wait for the next Chapter Part (and the Juggernaut)!
Like I said, most certainly a typo I missed in my haste. As far as the paragraph.....it was meant to show how Rich's mind isn't wholly focused on what he's doing (the battles)
I liked it, the chapter I mean. I too have found an error...I believe at least. You said that ''Blaziken's fist became icy, then it let out a Fire Punch'' (Or something along those lines) but shouldn't its hands have become firey?
I thought I fixed that >_< What happened was that I accidentally typed Alakazam in that spot first......AFTER it had fainted. I had to go back and correct it afterwards, and I missed fixing the punch's type.
Sorry I have been away, Great Butler. Anyway, I, unlike some, do not believe the Juggernaut is Deep King. I believe he is an original character, possibly a Shadow Admin. After all, when you have an author full of surprises, half inane charecters, and deranged villans, anything is possible. Also, I suspect the Juggernaut is undefeated because of a Shadow Pokemon. I look forward to the battle against the Juggernaut. Lights, camera, ACTION!
Mweheheheheh. I may reward your kindness.....
*drops in* My usual formal hello. Loved the battles in the last two chapters I missed and I just want you to know that I am always reading the exciting installments that you make.
Thank you for sticking with me. Is Serendipity still on? I rather enjoyed that.
And I love your avatar lightkeeper. Those Blaine cards used to be favorites of mine.
(Banner by Matori) Beyond all ideals, the truth shall set you free...
Most Recent: 9: Disconnection
Next: The Beasts Within
~Good night, and good luck~
Also, the appearance of the new Pokemon is another great addition to the story, you really pulled it off well. Great job, no mistakes that I can find, and I can't wait for the next Chapter!
Originally Posted by litestars
This the Prince Manaphy, my bishie. *hugs*
wobbuffetds has generously agreed to allow me to use his original Pokémon from his fic. I'd recommend giving his a read too, to show how much y'all appreciate his contribution. I'll be adding some new ones of my own as well.