Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: Endevour Island (AAMRN - PG)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    3,167

    Default Endevour Island (AAMRN - PG)

    Summary: While on a world cruise, Ash and Misty crash-land on a deserted island! With Misty battling her fear of rejection, can she ever tell Ash how she really feels?

    Rating: PG

    Notes: I got this idea after thinking about the Orange Island saga. I thought about what would happen if Ash and Misty did land on a deserted island...

    ~~~~Chapter 1: Tickets and Doubts~~~~~

    "Ash, look what I got!" Misty waved the pink tickets in the air as she ran towards the pool in the Cerulean City Gym. Her red-orange hair, tied in a ponytail, bobbed slighty as she ran.

    Ash looked up. "Tickets?"

    "Not just any tickets!" replied Misty with a grin, tossing them onto her best friend's lap.

    Ash Ketchum looked at the tickets, as she held them up to his face. His dark brown eyes narrowed. "Blimp ride? You know every time we ride a blimp something bad happens! Like that time to the Orange Islands."

    "This is different," replied Misty with a huff, snatching the tickets back. "We're not going to the Orange Islands, it's a trip around the world! And we only go on a blimp once, so don't be a baby about it."

    "I am not a baby!"

    "Are so!"

    "Are not!"

    "Are so!"

    "Are not!"

    "Pika pika!" ("Stop fighting!") Pikachu complained, his ears folded down. The little electric mouse sighed. Ash and Misty had only been in the same building for a day, and already the two were bickering like they had done years ago. ("I can't take it anymore! Besides...") The tip of the Pokémon's lightning-bolt shaped tail tapped against Ash's leg; still wet from the swim he took in the pool. Actually, Misty shoved him in, but it didn't matter. ("I'll shock you!")

    "Why me?!" asked Ash, looking down at Pikachu.

    ("You had to be smart enough to complain about the blimp ride. It's not like Team Rocket will trap you two in a cage...")

    Misty blushed slightly at this. When she and Ash were taking a blimb to the Orange Islands, Team Rocket had trapped them in a cage. Since Brock was with Professor Ivy, Team Rocket poked fun at Ash and Misty for being "lovebirds".

    "...Okay, you're right. Sorry." Ash added at Misty.

    He actually sounded sincire. Misty thought to herself. "Okay, get your stuff together, because we leave this afternoon!"

    "Whaa?! I just got here!"

    "Pika.... CHU!" Pikachu unleashed an electric attack on Ash. ("Quit complaining!")

    BZZZ-ZAP!

    Misty let out a sigh as Ash fell over, chared black and twitching. "C'mon," she said, a bit of irritation creeping into her voice. "Let's go..."

    ~~~~~

    Misty set three PokéBalls on the table. "Politoad, Seadra, and Luvdisc. Three should be fine..." Her fingers lingered over Luvdisc's PokéBall for a moment, and Misty got the idea of using it's Attract attack on Ash, just to see...

    Misty sighed. "It's no use. I'll never... say it. I'm just too afraid..."

    ("Afraid of what?") Pikachu asked, leaping onto the table. He stared at Misty curiously.

    Misty blushed. "You know..."

    ("Telling Ash?") asked the mouse, grabbing the ketchup bottle (still on the table from lunch) and beginning to lap up the contents.

    "Y-yeah..." Misty was afraid of telling Pikachu that she had a crush on Ash, as Pikachu was Ash's main Pokémon. Only after a large bride of fancy ketchup did Pikachu swear not to breathe a word to Ash. "I don't want him to reject me..."

    ("Hey, don't worry. Ash wouldn't turn you down. You're his best friend!") Pikachu grinned, face red from the ketchup. ("I'd bet my entire ketchup collection that he'd welcome you with welcome arms!")

    "...Thanks, Pikachu." Misty said, smiling with relief. "Can I finish packing?"

    ("Yeah, sure.") Pikachu closed the ketchup cap and dashed off to Ash's room.

    Misty looked at her suitcase. "... I hope everything goes fine..."
    ~~~~~
    I apologize if the chapter seems a bit short, but I'll be sure to work on that in other chapters.

    -Dr. Melee
    Last edited by Cap D. Blue; 21st April 2006 at 11:56 PM.

    Paradise is Calling... Are You Ready to Answer?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    The Giant Mitten
    Posts
    4,501

    Default

    "Not just any tickets!" replied Misty with a grin, tossing them onto her best friend's lap.
    Ash Ketchum looked at the tickets, as she held them up to his face. His dark brown eyes narrowed. "Blimp ride? You know every time we ride a blimp something bad happens! Like that time to the Orange Islands."
    "Pika.... CHU!" Pikachu unleashed an electric attack on Ash.
    There. Just fixed up your minor mistakes. ^^;; -hides-

    But, anyway, yay, I like this fic! I haven't read an AAMRN in so long. XD I liked the part about Misty thinking about using Luvdisc on Ash, it was kind of sad, but still... funny? oO; Well, yeah, this could be a bit a longer, but meh. Oh well. Can't wait for the next chapter~ =D

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    1,113

    Default

    Hello there Dr. Melee! I was just strolling through the shipping-fic section, and I stumbled across this. Thinking back, I remembered that you were the third person to revue my fic, so I think it only fair that I read and revue yours. Actually, I probably would have read it anyway, seeing as how it's a Pokeshipping fic, and I probably would have revued it anyway, because it sounds like the start of a promising story! The first chapter was pretty interesting, and I can't wait until the next chapter's up!

    Edit: I just noticed the little section where you give the story a certin amount of stars. I was going to give it four stars, but I think I'll wait until the next chapter comes out, so I can make it official.
    Last edited by Fez the Mysfit Elf; 23rd April 2006 at 1:17 PM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    The Darkness in your Heart
    Posts
    783

    Default

    Nice job for a First Chapter, That's where i would've been on my first fic, anyway good job
    Quote Originally Posted by Redsoxpsyco
    Ok, I'm out, this is turning into a game of spin the bottle O_o.


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    3,167

    Default

    Chelc: Darn. Oh, well, I'll change them. ^^;

    Fez: Thanks. What goes around comes around huh?

    Death: Thanks, it'll get more interesting as it progresses.

    Thanks you all for your reviews. Next chapter should be up maybe this weekend or later. ^^

    Paradise is Calling... Are You Ready to Answer?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    the eventless island
    Posts
    2,494

    Default

    Yipee, a new Pokeshipping fic! *cheers* XD

    Anyway, it was a nice start. Chelc already pointed out the mistakes, so that leaves me for my comment.

    The idea of being on a deserted island sounds cute and funny, considering how much I can imagine Ash and Misty driving each other crazy. XD I also liked how Misty wanted to use Attract on Ash with Luvdisc... interesting. It's always hard to tell someone how you really feel about them, so I'm rooting for Misty! and yes, I do wonder what would happen next? Perhaps Team Rocket would spoil their plans again, or maybe other things?

    Oh, and Pikachu plus the ketchup equals a blast form the past! I loved that! there should be a shipping on that. XD

    Overall, a very nice start. It makes you wonder what else will follow in the plot. So, always keep on going! ^___^
    For those who'd like to keep in contact, you know where to find me. ♥

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    3,167

    Default

    MM89: Well, you did kinda help with the idea. ^^ I thank you for that. Anyways, I'll work on Chapter 2 tomorrow. Thanks for reviewing!

    Paradise is Calling... Are You Ready to Answer?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    1,927

    Default

    Time to hear from your Master.

    I've known major readers to have a tendacy with length and all, but you know I'm not one of them. I prefer to base my opinion on nothing more than what's inside the story, which is what really counts.

    I don't know if Attract will actually work on Ash. I think he's so dense about love, even that won't help. Also, it wouldn't be worth it as a love from Attract isn't real love. If that was done, it just wouldn't be right.

    Anyways, this is a good idea. I can't wait to see what happens to Ash and Misty when they end up on that deserted island.

    Well, I'm tired. Gotta go early tomorrow.

    See ya later.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    3,167

    Default

    Master: Heh, I just added the Attract part in for fun. Ash and Misty's island adventure won't start until the middle/end of Chapter 2, so you'll know by Chapter 3. Thanks for reviewing!

    Paradise is Calling... Are You Ready to Answer?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    ____behind you :OO
    Posts
    1,289

    Default

    "Whaa?! I just got here!"

    "Pika.... CHU!" Pikachu unleashed an electric attack on Ash. ("Quit complaining!")
    XD Good ol'Pikachu
    I love this chapter, I wonder what will happen to them on their trip. You said
    'Around the world' so this is going to be a long story
    STRAWBERRIES : DD
    (they rock and don't deny it or I'll send the strawberry army after you)

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    3,167

    Default

    May Beautifly: Well, Ash and Misty get stranded on a deserted island, so that's the main plotline here. ^^ Thanks for your review!

    Paradise is Calling... Are You Ready to Answer?

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Pittsburgh, 75% of the year.
    Posts
    1,209

    Default

    He actually sounded sincire.

    Sincere.

    Only mistake they missed. ^^

    Anyways, I like it. Gives a general background, a feasible reason to be near the island, and addresses Misty's feelings within the confines of a few hundred words. (I would take a few thousand...*ish wordy* T.T) You've already covered the main bases for a good first chapter, so I'll leave it to you to write more for me to read.
    Heart Break - ff.net - LJ - PotS

    COLLEGE. >.<

    Rarely online.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    3,167

    Default

    gladdecease: I really need to learn how to spell that word. T_T Oh, well. *changes* Anyways, thanks for reviewing. ^^

    Oh, yes. I'm sorry to say that I couldn't write Chapter Two this weekend because I had some work to finish up. I'll try and fit it in next week. ^^;;;

    Paradise is Calling... Are You Ready to Answer?

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    somewhere out there...
    Posts
    831

    Default

    That was really cute XD Another Mist loves Ash and is afraid? THIS FIC IS AWESOME!!!
    you're a really good author! But be warned: many screaming fans will someday give you a reply and it will be so confusing you'll be like "okay..." That's how good it is, and I don't say that to everybody!

    Good work!!!!!! You really have talent!

    ~ Mysteria Pearl ~
    "If you ever see me out on the streets, don't worry, I wanna be your friend" Jerry Jewell
    Pokeshipper *drool*
    My Fics:
    The Cape Of The Ninetails ~ The Mysterious Dragon ~
    I've claimed Ryou x Lettuce, Gaara x Tayuya,
    & River Marque X Jesse Martin
    on C.C.T. v. 3.0
    Owner of: Official IGPX Club 2 & c.o. of ~Fruits Basket Club~ & -The Seto Kaiba Club-

    Serebii sis: The Red Butterfly
    River Marque (I.G.PX. Sledge Mamma) is my Bishie!

    Byakugan Tenten: twin Furuba Pair: Vy Low

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    3,167

    Default

    Mysteria Pearl: Thanks. ^^; I'm sorry to say that I've been caught up with other things, so I haven't been working on Chapter 2... Hopefully I will be able to tomorrow or something. Thanks for reviewing, though!

    Paradise is Calling... Are You Ready to Answer?

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Deep (Fried) South
    Posts
    5,162

    Default

    I've been meaning to reply to this for a little while. So far, so good! It needs to be a little longer; I would have at least liked to have seen them leave for their trip in the first chapter, but that can be remedied in later chapters. I liked the fight that they had- already. Hope you update soon!
    These are my fanfics. Read them. Or not, whatever.
    Pokemon Generations: Satsumi's Journey (Chapter 1 Now Up!)
    My Fanfiction.net Profile

    This is my Tumblr. Read it if you are so inclined.
    The Philosophy of Shipping (shipdr.tumblr.com)

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Somewhere
    Posts
    3,167

    Default

    Hakajin: I'm never good at keeping the chapters long. XP Don't worry, in CHapter 2, Ash, Misty (and Pikachu) leave on their trip. This fic might be short, only 5 chapters or something...

    Paradise is Calling... Are You Ready to Answer?

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    somewhere out there...
    Posts
    831

    Default

    yay! I can't wait! Please do let me know when the next chappie comes out!

    ~ Mysteria Pearl ~
    "If you ever see me out on the streets, don't worry, I wanna be your friend" Jerry Jewell
    Pokeshipper *drool*
    My Fics:
    The Cape Of The Ninetails ~ The Mysterious Dragon ~
    I've claimed Ryou x Lettuce, Gaara x Tayuya,
    & River Marque X Jesse Martin
    on C.C.T. v. 3.0
    Owner of: Official IGPX Club 2 & c.o. of ~Fruits Basket Club~ & -The Seto Kaiba Club-

    Serebii sis: The Red Butterfly
    River Marque (I.G.PX. Sledge Mamma) is my Bishie!

    Byakugan Tenten: twin Furuba Pair: Vy Low

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •