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Thread: Dueling Cupids (Reg/OC fic) PG

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    SYNOPSIS: It had to happen sometime: Ash gets his first crush. Now May and Brock compete over can give him the best romantic advice. Poor Ash.

    DISCLAIMER: The concept of Pokemon, and the characters featured in the Pokemon TV series, do not belong to me. I am only using them for the sake of storytelling. The character of Amy, however, does belong to me. This fanfic takes place during the Battle Frontier season.

    It is lunchtime, and Ash, Brock, May, and Max are sitting on a group of rocks eating another one of Brock’s tasty stews.

    “Hi there!” they hear a cheerful voice say. The group turns and sees a young girl with shoulder-length red hair, a sleeveless light blue top, white shorts, and a white derby hat with red trim. “I’m Amy, from Saffron City. Are any of you pokemon trainers?”

    “Uh, yeah, I am,” said Ash, quickly getting up after putting down his lunch. He was eager for a battle now since it had been days since he battled his last Frontier Brain. “I’m Ash, from Palette Town.”

    “Wait, Ash,” protested May, tugging on his shirt sleeve. “I’ve got a contest next week, I could really use the practice.”

    “No, May, I’m battling this time,” insisted Ash, a little rudely.

    “Okay, fine, Mister I-wanna-be-a-pokemon-master,” said May grumpily, a little hurt. She crossed her arms and silently fumed as Ash walked over to Amy.

    Brock stood in the middle to referee. “This will be a three-on-three match, with no time limit. The match will be over when all of either trainer’s pokemon are unable to continue. Everybody ready?”

    “Yes,” said Amy and Ash at the same time.

    Brock raised his arms. “Begin!”

    Amy took out a green and white Safari Zone pokeball. “I hope you’re ready for a good match, Ash,” she said, smiling. “Rhyhorn, go!”

    Ash grinned. “A rock type, huh? That should be easy.” He tossed one of his pokeballs and said, “Grovyle, I choose you!” Then his face fell when he realized that he had sent Swellow instead. “What?!”

    “That’s new,” Brock commented.

    “I wonder why Ash sent Swellow out instead of Grovyle?” May asked, confused, forgetting that she had been angry with Ash just a few moments earlier.

    “I think we should’ve made him finish lunch first,” said Max.

    Ash groaned. “Well, I gotta make the best of it,” he said to himself. “Swellow, use aerial ace!”

    Swellow spun in a circle in the air, disappeared briefly, then hit rhyhorn square in its rocky chest. The blow was good enough to make rhyhorn stagger slightly. “Yeah! Good job, Swellow!” said Ash, pumping his fist.

    “Wow, Ash made it look like he planned that all along,” said May in wonderment.

    “That’s pretty good, Ash,” said Amy as her rhyhorn quickly recovered, “but rock types are always better than flying types.” As Swellow took to the air again, Amy commanded, “Rhyhorn, use rock blast!”

    Rhyhorn stomped the ground with his feet, sending several good sized rocks up in the air.

    “Dodge them!” Ash quickly told Swellow. Swellow dodged the rocks as best he could, but one finally knocked Swellow down. “Swellow!” said Ash, concerned. Swellow fell to the ground on his stomach, and struggled to try and get up again.

    “Now use stomp!” said Amy. Rhyhorn planted his foot on Swellow’s back, making Swellow cry out.

    Ash groaned. “Swellow, return!” he said, putting his pokemon back in its pokeball since it could still battle but needed a better opponent.

    “Got any more interesting pokemon for me, Ash?” asked Amy, a smug grin on her face.

    “You bet I do, and this time I’m getting it right,” said Ash, taking out another pokeball. “Corphish, I choose you!” Then he groaned again when Grovyle came out.

    Max face-faulted. “Ash is really off his game today,” he said.

    "Pika pika," Pikachu agreed, nodding.

    May sweatdropped and giggled nervously. “Yeah, but at least he got the pokemon he wanted in the first place.”

    “This should be good,” said Amy. “Rhyhorn, takedown!” Rhyhorn started charging forward.

    “Grovyle, dodge and use bullet seed!” said Ash quickly. Amy gasped as Grovyle jumped high in the air to avoid rhyhorn, then hit it with a strong shower of bullet seeds. “Now, use leaf blade!” said Ash. Grovyle’s arm leaf glowed, and he hit rhyhorn with one swipe to the chin, knocking the pokemon out.

    “Rhyhorn is unable to battle,” said Brock. “Grovyle is the winner!”

    “All right! Way to go, Grovyle!” said Ash as Grovyle landed and prepared for more battling.

    “Rhyhorn, return!” said Amy, recalling her pokemon. “That was pretty good, Ash. Now, I cho-“ Then her beeper suddenly went off, and she said, “Oh, excuse me one sec.” Then she gasped when she looked at the monitor, and blushed. “Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot I have to meet my friends for lunch. I have to go.”

    “What?!” said Ash, shocked, his face falling. The rest of the group was stunned too. “But we’re right in the middle of a battle!”

    “Sorry, Ash, we’ll have to finish it later,” Amy said. She gathered up her purse. “I’ll be in Mauve City if you want to meet me later.” She took off running. “I’ll see you, Ash!” she called back.

    “Bye,” said Ash softly, a little disappointed.

    “Well, that was a great battle,” said Max, a little sarcastically, as Brock and Ash walked back. “What’s with you, Ash? You should’ve beaten that rhyhorn easily!”

    “I don’t know,” said Ash. He looked back where Amy had run off.

    “Well, she was a pretty good battler,” said Brock.

    Ash then blushed. “Yeah, she was pretty.”

    “Oh boy,” said Max with a knowing sigh. “I knew it.”

    “What is it?” asked May.

    “Ash has a crush,” said Max.

    May was taken aback. “Are you sure?” Pikachu was confused.

    “After seeing you and Brock, I’m pretty familiar with the signs,” said Max. May was a little disappointed, though she wouldn’t admit it out loud to anyone.

    Brock rushed back over to Ash’s side. “So, Ash, you have a crush on this girl?”

    Ash recoiled in horror, like Brock had just accused him of something bad. “What?! No I don’t.”

    “We can tell you do, Ash,” Max called out.

    “Really?” asked Ash, sounding genuinely surprised.

    Brock put his right arm around Ash’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Ash. I’ll give you some advice on how to handle her. By the time you see her again, you’ll be an expert.”

    May rushed over. “Oh yeah, and what’s makes you such an expert, Brock? I haven’t seen any girls flocking around you.” She grabbed Ash away from Brock and started leading him away. “I’ll help you out, Ash. I can give better romantic advice than him.”

    “Now wait a minute!” said Brock, chasing after them.

    Max sighed and got up to follow, along with Pikachu. “This can’t end well.”

    ================================================== ===================

    A few notes about this fanfic, including some inevitable questions:

    1. I do not intend to take a jab at any established Ash shippings with this fanfic. I'm sure you'll notice my little nods to both Ash/May and Ash/Misty. The reason I have him falling for a random character is simply because of logistics. Since Ash has been around one of two girls for 99.5% of his journey, I think he's more likely to fall for someone new first before he'd fall for May, Misty, or any other regular female character. I know my first-ever crush in grade school was on a boy 3 years older than me, THEN I became interested in boys my own age. Being around the same people all the time kind of makes one less interested in them at first, I believe. Besides, if he finally starts having feelings for girls now, he could discover feelings for May, Misty, or anyone else down the line.

    2. There will NOT, I repeat NOT, be a mention of Giselle from "The School of Hard Knocks" in this story. I haven't forgotten her. The reason is because, she was the only girl Ash even showed any remote interest in in the whole history of the show, it was years ago, and I seriously doubt Brock would even remember Ash had a crush on her since he did at the same time and that was Ash's only previous crush. So no Giselle mentions, PERIOD.
    Last edited by wobbanut; 16th April 2006 at 6:47 AM.
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  2. #2
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    Chapter 2

    "What makes you two the experts on romance, anyway?" Max asked as he followed the others on the road to Mauve City. Pikachu followed alongside Max, looking confused.

    "Because we're older and have more experience, so *there*," said May.

    "Oh, puh-*lease*," said Max, rolling his eyes.

    Brock pulled ahead with Ash. "So, Ash, pop quiz: what's the first thing you do when you meet a girl?"

    Ash shrugged. "I don't know. Challenge her to a battle?"

    "No!" said Brock, getting in front of Ash and clamping both hands on Ash's shoulders, stopping the group. "You smile at her and give her a good pickup line."

    "I've seen your pickup lines, Brock" said May, frowning. "How many of them actually work?"

    Brock sweatdropped and lowered his hands. "Actually, none."

    "Exactly," said May, and she pushed Brock aside. "Listen, Ash, just talk with Amy, get to know her. She'll like that a lot better. And if you're stuck on what to say, just give her a compliment."

    "That's the same as a pickup line, May," said Brock, rushing over.

    "No it's not!" May said, turning to face him. "Compliments are better than pickup lines!"

    "Pickup lines!"

    "Compliments!"

    "Pickups!"

    "Compliments!"

    Max face-faulted. "And they think *they're* mature?" he grumbled.

    "Pika," Pikachu said, nodding in agreement.

    "Hold on, guys," Ash said, putting his hands up. "I don't even know what to say to girls!"

    May was confused. "But you talk to me all the time just fine."

    "Yeah, but you're my friend, it's different," said Ash.

    "Oh, yeah?" said May, and started walking into Ash's personal space, making him back up nervously. "Well, for your information, I'm a girl too. Anything you can say to me, you can say to Amy."

    "Okay, okay, I'll try it," said Ash nervously.

    Brock walked over. "And don't forget, if you can't think of anything to say, try one of my pickup lines. I'll write a few down for you if you need any ideas-"

    Max then grabbed Brock by the ear and pulled him away. "I think Ash has a better chance with her if you keep your pickup lines to yourself."

    To be continued...

    All right, folks, I'll try and get the next chapter up sooner. Team Rocket will show up in chapter three, and I plan to give Max and Pikachu more to do soon. PLEASE review, I really need compliments, criticisms, and feedback.
    Last edited by wobbanut; 11th April 2006 at 8:10 PM.
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  3. #3
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    Okay, folks, here's chapter three. Again, PLEASE, feedback is very welcome, either by reply or by PM'ing me. I'd really appreciate it since this story is still a work in progress. This is another brief update, but chapter 4 will be longer since it'll be getting into the meat of the story. Plus, I'm going on vacation, so I'll have some time to write. As for this part, hey, if you know me on this forum, you know I HAD to include my favorite characters in this story (besides Brock).

    Chapter Three

    As Ash and his friends head to Mauve City, a familiar trio of evildoers watches them from the branches of a tree, using their binoculars.

    "Well well, this is *very* interesting," said Jessie.

    "Yeah, the twoip's finally got himself a girlfriend," said Meowth.

    All three lowered their binoculars. "I'm kind of disappointed, actually," said James. "I always thought he'd go for that redheaded twerp first." Jessie started growling angrily.

    "I kinda had my heart set on de gym leader's kid myself," said Meowth.

    "I'm not talking about *that*!!!" Jessie roared, making her teammates flinch. "Did you see the way the twerp got so distracted by that girl that he kept sending out the wrong pokemon?"

    "You're right," said James.

    "So, what does dat mean?" asked Meowth.

    "It means," said Jessie, balling her fist, "if he keeps getting distracted by little miss sunshine, we'll have a perfect opportunity to catch Pikachu!"

    James face-faulted. "You've gotta have a better plan than that, Jess. Remember there's three other twerps who will gladly keep an eye out for us."

    "Wobbuffet!" Wobbuffet popped out of his pokeball to agree, landing between Jessie and Meowth.

    Jessie frowned. "You're right." Then she brightened. "But... I think I know a way we can help those twerps out, and still get Pikachu."

    "Help them out?" asked James and Meowth, confused.

    To be continued...
    Last edited by wobbanut; 11th April 2006 at 8:11 PM.
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    Hey, this is pretty good! Think you could slip a little mention of AbilityShipping (Ash+Anabel) in there too?

    (slips a $20 bill in with the Butler Empire cake....>_>)

    Seriously, though, I like just about everything about this fic. Keep it up!

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    Thanks! Unfortunately Ash/Anabel is a no-go because this fic takes place prior to Anabel's episodes (see Grovyle). I do like the pics of Ash and Anabel, though.
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    Eh, fine by me. But if you're an Anabel fan, those are always welcome to have a gander at my now nearly-finished fic that features her. (Link in sig)

    I do like the way you've made it an Ash ship with an original trainer. The way you've done it is quite creative.

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    I'll take a look at it later this week. At least I'll have some time to look at everyone's fanfics while I'm on vacation.

    EDIT: I've done a little tweaking to the chapters, especially with chapter three to clean it up. I also thought I'd be fair and let Pikachu speak, as long as I did Wobbuffet. I'll see if I want to add pokespeak to the battle scene in chapter one, but I'd rather just describe the battle moves.
    Last edited by wobbanut; 11th April 2006 at 8:14 PM.
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    This is good. Keep it up!! Also, I understand what you said about how Ash would fall for someone he just met rather than someone he already knows well. XD. Good job!

    ~Kitteh

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    Thanks for the review, Kitteh! I'm hoping to start writing the next part tomorrow, which is iffy because it's Easter, but hopefully I'll get it started. I'll also hopefully visit some other peoples' fanfics tomorrow too.
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    Quote Originally Posted by wobbanut
    Thanks for the review, Kitteh! I'm hoping to start writing the next part tomorrow, which is iffy because it's Easter, but hopefully I'll get it started. I'll also hopefully visit some other peoples' fanfics tomorrow too.
    No problem, even if the chapters were a bit short, it's all good! Can't wait for the next chapter!

    ~Kitteh

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    Okay, folks, here's chapter four. Sorry that I keep putting off updates, but work doesn't allow me a lot of time to write. At least I have an idea about how this story is going to end now, and it'll be about 7 or 8 chapters. Anyway, here's part four. Again, please read and review. I've been appreciating the reviews, so keep 'em coming.

    Ash and the others walked down the main street of Mauve City, which was a shopping mecca with dozens of small stores all along the streets, and restaurants with outside dining patios with people outside eating and chatting. The streets were populated mostly with young women or mothers, and a few miserable-looking men.

    “I can’t believe all the stores!” May said, her voice getting squeaky with excitement. “I’m in shopping heaven!”

    “Save it, May, we gotta find Amy first,” said Max.

    May pouted. “We’ve been looking for her a half hour already.” She sighed. “I guess we’ll have to find her if I’m going to get any shopping done today.” Then she looked around and saw that only three of them were there. “Hey, where’s Brock?”

    “I think we lost him about three or four pretty girls ago,” Max deadpanned. He sighed. “I’ll go get him.”

    “Nah,” said May. “He’ll catch up. Besides,” she said, putting her arm over Ash’s shoulder, “I think Ash’ll do better with me helping him than Brock.”

    “Hey, there she is!” said Ash, suddenly stopping.

    “You sure, Ash?” said May, looking around. Then she spotted the back of Amy’s hat at an outside restaurant patio. “Oh yeah, I see her.” She then started pulling Ash along, and Pikachu went back to be with Max again. “Now remember what I said, Ash: be polite, compliment her, and she’ll eat it up. Trust me.”

    “Let me show you how it’s done, Ash,” said Brock, appearing out of nowhere and scaring the group. He ran up to a beautiful young woman laden down with shopping bags standing a few feet away, hearts in his eyes. “Helllooo, my charming beauty! I am your humble and devoted servant. Let me help you to your car, and then I can treat you to-“

    “Oh, thanks!” said the woman, and dropped her armload of packages in Brock’s arms, making him strain under the pressure. “My car’s just up the block. I really appreciate it.”

    “No… problem,” said Brock, doing his best to follow her without dropping everything. The others just stared.

    Ash, May, and Max headed inside the restaurant where Amy was at, which to Ash’s delight was a hamburger place. He loaded up his plate with two hamburgers, a good helping of French Fries, and a drink, while May, Max, and an exhausted Brock just went with drinks since they were still full from lunch. Ash then headed outside, where he found Amy sitting with two other girls, another redhead and a girl with purple hair. The girls had apparently just finished lunch and were just chatting, because there were used napkins and almost-finished drinks on the table.

    “Hey there, Amy!” said Ash, trying to sound casual, blushing a little.

    “Hi Ash,” said Amy warmly. “I’m glad you came.”

    “Uh… you guys looked a little lonely, I thought I’d join ya,” said Ash, trying to reach for a pickup line like Brock suggested. Brock didn’t look too thrilled with his effort.

    “We’re not lonely,” said Amy. “Come on, sit with us.”

    “Uh, sure,” said Ash, feeling awkward. May, Max, and Brock decided to sit nearby to see how Ash fared.

    “These are my friends, Janie and Amanda,” said Amy, pointing to the redhead and the purple-haired girl. “Guys, this is Ash Ketchum. We had a pokemon battle earlier.”

    “Oh yeah?” asked Janie, looking Ash over. “Is he any good?”

    Ash raised his chin. “Of course I am. I’m going to be the world’s greatest pokemon master someday.”

    “Ash,” said May in a loud whisper, giving him a look.

    Ash sweatdropped. “Uh… but… Amy was pretty good too. I mean, her pokemon were really good against mine.”

    Amanda hmphed. “Doesn’t sound like you’re that good a trainer.”

    “Am too!” said Ash, getting angry.

    “How can you be any good if you’re saying she creamed you?” asked Amanda.

    Ash got red in the face. “She didn’t cream me. I was just being nice, that’s all.”

    “He’s blowing it,” murmured May to herself, resting her head on her arms on the back of her seat.

    “If you’re so hot stuff, we can have a rematch later,” said Amy, giving him a wicked grin as she stood up with her friends. “One hour, okay? In the park, down the street. Hope you’re ready for a good battle this time.”

    “This should be good,” said Janie to Amanda as the girls turned to leave.

    Ash quickly got up. “Wait. Amy, could you stay here a bit? I, uh, I wanna talk.”

    Amy looked surprised. “Oh. Okay.” She then turned to her friends. “I’ll meet up with you guys down the street, okay?” May and Brock gave Ash a thumbs up while her back was turned, then shot each other a look. The girls agreed and headed off.
    Last edited by wobbanut; 17th May 2006 at 9:33 PM.
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    Wow! I like that chapter. It's very good, very well written. You could sense Ash's emotions when he snapped at the three girls. Keep up the good work!

    ~Kitteh

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    Thanks, Kitteh. I'm glad that part came across well, because I wasn't sure how it sounded.
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    I like the way that you use the diolouge, but it would be a good idea to add some description. What's the name of this shipping?
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    I am trying my best on description. Most of it seems to come when I revise chapters. Dialogue's always been my strong suit, but I try to do description as often as I can. It definitely helps when I think out the scene in my head beforehand. I know it helped with the outlay of Mauve City, since I based it on a real place I've been to many times (downtown Naperville, IL).

    As for shipping... hmm, maybe firstcrushshipping.
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