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Thread: Drabble Dex

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    Default Drabble Dex

    Drabble Dex


    A while ago I wrote a few drabbles, each one featuring a Pokémon species in some way, although I hadn’t posted them outside of one forum. While short-lived (only ended up with nine done for Pokémon) I did find the exercise fun enough, so I’m attempting to revive my own challenge while simultaneously populating a collection of Pokémon fanworks, fittingly titled the FanDex, with these entries (check it out!). Two birds with one stone!

    I’ll begin by posting the few I’ve done already over the next while, and then I’ll allow people to suggest what Pokémon line I should involve in a drabble next. (If nobody suggests something I’ll just turn to a random number generator). I may include other topics later on as well, but Pokémon species will be the focus.

    I rely on Microsoft Word’s ‘word count’ tool to ensure these are 100 words long, but do point out if you notice a discrepancy! Titles aren’t included in the word count.

    Enjoy!


    Requests

    These guys are going to be written up next! They may not appear in this order, for instance if I feel motivated to tackle another Pokemon first, but they will be done in the near future. If you have a Pokemon line you want to see me tackle, ask away!

    Smeargle
    Burmy/Wormadam/Mothim
    Patrat/Watchog

    Index

    Click the spoiler for a list of drabbles already written and posted! Pokemon are listed in alphabetical order, grouped by species and ordered by the first/base form's name (e.g. Pichu/Pikachu/Raichu come under 'Pi' rather than 'Rai'. So if you want Breloom, look under S for Shroomish.) Alternatively: use the search function in your browser!

    Or just read them all and start by scrolling down. =p


        Spoiler:
    Last edited by bobandbill; 17th September 2016 at 3:29 PM.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
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    Scyther


    Misleading Appearances

    The trainer stared at the green Pokémon. He had been warned about this one by the posters sprawled over the local Pokémon Centre. The Green Menace, they had declared. Do not approach.

    But it hardly seemed menacing. It had a grin brighter than the sun, and didn’t appear interested in battling. Sure, it had scythes for arms, but it didn’t appear to be aggressive.

    The trainer returned the grin and offered the Scyther a piece of his lunch. It quickly accepted and swallowed the food. It then chirped and stretched its limbs out widely.

    Aww, he’s giving me a hug-

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    Scizor


    Trade-off

    The Scizor gazed at the others slicing through the air above the treetops. Before, he was one of the first ones there, impressing with twists and turns.

    He breathed in and grunted, beating his steel wings together. They clunked and gnashed in protest, lifting him a few lame feet into the air before it became too much to sustain.

    He cried out and threw a heavy limb at a tree, only to see his arm smash through the wood rather than slice it. The Scizor stared at his pincer a while. Eventually he nodded slowly, and lumbered towards another tree.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    Helioptile


    Terrible News

    “Oh, this news is terrible!” cried the woman. When her husband only managed a small grunt, she decided to read the article aloud.

    “A man in Kalos has been charged for exploiting Helioptile. Twenty-five Helioptile had been found attached to the roof, tied down by a series of power cords and rigged up to absorb sunlight and convert it into electricity to power the man’s home. They showed signs of exhaustion and dehydration...”

    The husband burped loudly. “So? We use Magnemite to power our home.”

    “Oh, don’t be barbaric!” she hissed. “They’re lizards. You can’t do mean things to lizards.”

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

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    Heliolisk


    Lunch

    Lunch, thought the bird Pokémon.

    It could scarcely believe its own luck. There it was, an overgrown lizard lying about on that rock in broad daylight! It never had seen one quite so big, nor of that colouration, but food was food.

    The bird circled twice and then swooped, slicing through the air towards its target. Only then did it notice the sparks that danced around its target’s neck. Before it could change direction, it was engulfed by electricity. It shrieked and thudded into the dusty ground.

    The Heliolisk yawned and looked at its fallen foe. Lunch, thought the lizard.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    I really love these! The length makes them easy reads, and that combined with a sort of punchline makes each one feel like a Sunday comic strip or something, at least to me.

    My favorite is probably Helioptile. I think out of all of them, it had the best timing, and the details (the husband burping, the wife hissing) made it funnier than just the center joke, which was also my favorite out of the four.

    That being said, I think they're all great. I wouldn't be able to do it, but you manage to set up clear situations and characters in 100 words. In this regard, I think Heliolisk is the most impressive, since you establish a situation, a reverse of that situation, and two distinct characters, all while still setting up a joke. But like I said, I really liked all four.

    Sorry my review isn't much longer than one of your drabbles, but I really don't have much to criticize. Good work!

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    Quote Originally Posted by [Imaginative]:[Clockwork] View Post
    I really love these! The length makes them easy reads, and that combined with a sort of punchline makes each one feel like a Sunday comic strip or something, at least to me.

    My favorite is probably Helioptile. I think out of all of them, it had the best timing, and the details (the husband burping, the wife hissing) made it funnier than just the center joke, which was also my favorite out of the four.

    That being said, I think they're all great. I wouldn't be able to do it, but you manage to set up clear situations and characters in 100 words. In this regard, I think Heliolisk is the most impressive, since you establish a situation, a reverse of that situation, and two distinct characters, all while still setting up a joke. But like I said, I really liked all four.

    Sorry my review isn't much longer than one of your drabbles, but I really don't have much to criticize. Good work!
    Thanks for the review! No worries about length - they are drabbles, so saying more than them about that is very much appreciated!

    The 'sunday comic strip' comment is an intriguing way to describe it. I hadn't thought about it that way but I can agree with that take. And it's true that I often give a punchline of sort with a bunch of these (include ones not yet posted - two on the way after this post though!)

    I'll keep your comment in mind about details creating more amusement outside of the centre joke, that's a good observation. I might also experiment with other ones I tackle later with structure and whatnot, ala Heliolisk.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    Shroomish


    Spore and Effect

    “Why are you so negative?” a Shroomish asked another. It bounced about anxiously as two young boys observed the pair. “There’s so much opportunity! And these trainers will feed us and take us on adventures!”

    One child picked up the Shroomish and gave it a hug, causing spores to expel from the mushroom Pokémon. As they coated the human he sneezed, and then suddenly shrieked shrilly, dropped his finding and writhed about on the ground. His friend took a few uncertain steps backward before running off. The Pokémon wailed and hopped about the boy.

    “That’s why,” muttered the other Shroomish.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    Breloom


    More than Grass

    “What a weird Pokémon!” one trainer said.

    “You sure that’s a Fighting type?” another jeered. “It needs some real arms first. You need a Fighting Pokémon to join this Gym-”

    “Then battle it,” retorted its owner. The group paused a moment before one nodded and summoned a brawny Machamp, muscles bulging from muscles. It opened with a flurry of punches, but the Breloom intercepted one of the flying limbs headfirst, ejecting spores over the Machamp. As it spluttered the Breloom struck through short, sharp jabs with arms that stretched impossibly. The Machamp crashed heavily, soundly defeated.

    “Now, any other complaints?”

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    Really enjoying these! Personally, Heliolisk and Helioptile are my favourites, but all four are brilliant. Trying to create such dry humour in such a small piece is tough, but you've managed it! Looking forward to more!

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    These are amazing, bnb...! : D I must admit the Helioptile one is my favourite - I love the slightly sinister distinguishing between acceptable and inacceptable enslavement of Pokemon for manual labour. Wonderful hypocritical stinger, there.

    I giggled at the Scyther one, and the Scizor is perfectly 'oh. ok' after it discovers its new abilities in its entry. <3 Heliolisk teehee - lovely mirroring there although I half wish that the rock the lizard is lying on turned out to be an even /bigger/ camouflaging predator, haha, just for a double blind. That's a rediculous idea though and it's great as it is. <333

    Spore and effect. *gigglesnort*


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    Quote Originally Posted by skywalker94 View Post
    Really enjoying these! Personally, Heliolisk and Helioptile are my favourites, but all four are brilliant. Trying to create such dry humour in such a small piece is tough, but you've managed it! Looking forward to more!
    Thanks! Seems that those two are early favourites for a few people now... I do intend to keep this going, so I hope you'll continue to enjoy the entries. =)
    Quote Originally Posted by katiekitten View Post
    These are amazing, bnb...! : D I must admit the Helioptile one is my favourite - I love the slightly sinister distinguishing between acceptable and inacceptable enslavement of Pokemon for manual labour. Wonderful hypocritical stinger, there.
    But they're lizards, katie. Totally different from magnets.
    I giggled at the Scyther one, and the Scizor is perfectly 'oh. ok' after it discovers its new abilities in its entry. <3 Heliolisk teehee - lovely mirroring there although I half wish that the rock the lizard is lying on turned out to be an even /bigger/ camouflaging predator, haha, just for a double blind. That's a rediculous idea though and it's great as it is. <333
    That would be a bigger twist, haha. What would eat the rock though?

    Spore and effect. *gigglesnort*
    Gotta like joke titles. =p

    Thanks for the review as well, katiekitten!

    May put another couple tomorrow. I also have started writing a couple more in the background for when I run out of the few more already-done drabbles.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    Finally got around to reading these bite-sized fics, and they're very good reads! All of them manage to carve out really solid scenes with so few words, and they succeed in getting their respective points across. I do like how visual a lot of them are, especially since you're making the reader rely on just one image for the entire drabble.

    My personal favorite is the Heliolisk one, since I thought you did well in setting up that last line. The Scyther one was a really entertaining read, too, in a morbid sort of way. I got a bit confused in the main action in the Shroomish drabble, though. Had to read it a couple of times to get what was happening. But it was amusing nonetheless.

    Can't wait for what else you have up your sleeve. I imagine these are all really fun to make, so I hope to find more drabbles posted soon!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Dramatic Melody View Post
    Finally got around to reading these bite-sized fics, and they're very good reads! All of them manage to carve out really solid scenes with so few words, and they succeed in getting their respective points across. I do like how visual a lot of them are, especially since you're making the reader rely on just one image for the entire drabble.

    My personal favorite is the Heliolisk one, since I thought you did well in setting up that last line. The Scyther one was a really entertaining read, too, in a morbid sort of way. I got a bit confused in the main action in the Shroomish drabble, though. Had to read it a couple of times to get what was happening. But it was amusing nonetheless.

    Can't wait for what else you have up your sleeve. I imagine these are all really fun to make, so I hope to find more drabbles posted soon!
    Another score for the Heliolisk! Haha. I personally like the Scyther one myself more, probably because of said morbid humour. I'll take a look at the Shroomish one and see if I can't make it clearer.

    And you don't have to wait any more! Even if I said 'tomorrow' two days ago. (I did say 'may' though. :V) Two more in the next posts. Thanks for the review, DM!

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

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    Mienfoo


    Leap of faith

    One after another, a gang of Mienfoo sprang into the air, trying to strike at a collection of bright, red berries dangling just out of reach. At length they retired for a break, pondering whether it was worth further effort.

    Eventually one Mienfoo stepped up. She rubbed her hands together and sprinted breathlessly before leaping up high. The group watched as she flew through the air and narrowly missed.

    THUNK.

    She slid down the trunk and sighed, expecting to hear taunts and laughter. But only cheers came. She blinked and turned around, greeted by the sight of berries tumbling down.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    Mienshao


    Whip it good

    She had heard about this wild Pokémon. It danced lightly upon the grass in front of her Pikachu, radiating a quiet power. What an addition it would make!

    It suddenly lashed out and whacked her Pokémon with its arm. The mouse Pokémon cried and stumbled over. Before either trainer or partner could react it continued the assault, flowing from attack to attack by spinning gracefully into the next whipping motion.

    “Stop!” she yelled. It responded by slapping her and bounding away into the bushes.

    She rubbed her stinging face, gasped, and decided she didn’t want to capture the Mienshao anymore.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    Relicanth


    First Appearances

    The girl excitedly clutched the capsule and grinned at her parents.

    "My own Pokémon? For real?" she exclaimed.

    "Sure thing, kiddo," her father replied. He kneeled down. "How about you open the Poké Ball and let it out? Press that button there," he instructed. The girl obliged and stared as her birthday present emerged.

    Then she frowned.

    “...What is that?” she asked.

    “A Relicanth!” Her mother smiled.

    “They’re really rare,” her father added, handing her a leash and collar. “Why don’t you take it for a walk?”

    “It’s a fish,” she said. The Pokémon quietly waved a fin at her.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    The next bunch are the first made on request! Bluewolfbat of FFnet wanted something specific about a Pikachu, but I wrote this instead. And naturally did something for the other two in its line as well. Not that happy about Raichu's one personally but oh well.

    Also have a draft for Ponyta and need to think up something for Rapidash. After that it's anything else suggested or random number generator!


    -------------------------





    Pichu


    Forbidden Secret

    “What a weird looking Pichu!” one child remarked. She petted the quiet Pokémon carefully around the notched ear. “Is this normal?”

    “Doubt it,” her friend replied with authority. “You saw Sami’s, right? Smaller ears.”

    “Maybe it travelled with Celebi from another time?” She glanced at the nearby empty shrine. The Pichu sat upright.

    “Don’t be silly, that’s legend-” She was cut off when the Pichu darted towards the shrine. “Hey!” They giggled and chased after the Pokémon. It rounded the corner and greeted the pixie that appeared.

    They know too much,” it hissed. The Celebi nodded and raised its arms.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

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    Pikachu


    Electric Blanket

    The Pikachu squeezed through the window and landed inelegantly. It shivered and gazed back outside. Winter had arrived with little warning. The nearby tree rattled against the glass.

    It suddenly heard footsteps approach. It eyed the bed and squirmed under the covers as the door opened.

    “Here’s your room-oh, the window...” a woman muttered. More footsteps followed hers.

    “Wouldn’t want that open overnight,” a man muttered as he plonked himself on the bed and the Pikachu. It squeaked and released a jolt. The man jumped off and shouted while the Pikachu darted straight back out the window.

    “What was that?!”

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    Raichu


    Upgrade

    “Right, Pikachu, you ready?” Ash yelled with a fist pump. His Pokémon nodded happily. “Alright!” He picked up the Thunderstone and tossed it at his Pokémon. It bounced off the Pikachu’s face.

    “Oh. Uh... How do you use it?” He rubbed it in Pikachu’s face until his Pokémon irritably bit on the stone. Only then did it glow so much that Ash had to cover his eyes a moment before it was gone and his Pokémon now a larger, orange rodent.

    “Great! Let’s go!” The Raichu forgot his weight and jumped up on his shoulder, causing Ash to fall over.

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


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    Relicanth is for sure my favorite since my last review. I love the highlighting of the non-relationship between rare and good (after using 50+ Dusk Balls to catch regirock in ORAS, I'm all too familiar with the high value of pokemon I just don't like all that much). Of course a little kid wouldn't want a relicanth (or really any fish pokemon for their first one), and the parents' oblivious pride made it all the funnier.

    Mienfoo was another one I liked a lot. While I'm probably more drawn to the pessimistic humor of some of the other drabbles, I liked the sweetness of the ending. It was a different kind of humor, more warm chuckles than the others, but it worked really well.

    I'm not sure about the pikachu one, though. It plays like a joke, but I think it lacks the unique angle you give to the others, so it ended up being a little more typical, I guess, for me. Shroomish, for instance, uses the perspective of a salty little pokemon to add some flavor to the situation, but I'm not sure the pikachu drabble has a voice to make it stand out too much. I thought the pichu one was great, though, so maybe pikachu was suffering from comparison.

    Overall, though, great as usual! Reading these makes me want to write comedy before I remind myself that no, I shouldn't do that. Especially not when I'll be compared to these! Good work!

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    Quote Originally Posted by [Imaginative]:[Clockwork] View Post
    Relicanth is for sure my favorite since my last review. I love the highlighting of the non-relationship between rare and good (after using 50+ Dusk Balls to catch regirock in ORAS, I'm all too familiar with the high value of pokemon I just don't like all that much). Of course a little kid wouldn't want a relicanth (or really any fish pokemon for their first one), and the parents' oblivious pride made it all the funnier.
    I have a soft spot for that drabble too, haha. I actually wrote that one years ago, before any of the others posted here. And yeah, Relicanth were a bugger to catch for me in the 3rd gen games.
    Mienfoo was another one I liked a lot. While I'm probably more drawn to the pessimistic humor of some of the other drabbles, I liked the sweetness of the ending. It was a different kind of humor, more warm chuckles than the others, but it worked really well.
    I'm not always pessimistic. =p I always am amused by High Jump kick and the side effect it brings when it misses, heh.
    I'm not sure about the pikachu one, though. It plays like a joke, but I think it lacks the unique angle you give to the others, so it ended up being a little more typical, I guess, for me. Shroomish, for instance, uses the perspective of a salty little pokemon to add some flavor to the situation, but I'm not sure the pikachu drabble has a voice to make it stand out too much. I thought the pichu one was great, though, so maybe pikachu was suffering from comparison.
    Interesting call. Curious what others thought about it. The Pikachu one had been suggested with a prompt which I changed up slightly but still kept the main thing (Pikachu under a blanket). Which strikes me as an odd prompt, but I gave it a go at any rate.
    Overall, though, great as usual! Reading these makes me want to write comedy before I remind myself that no, I shouldn't do that. Especially not when I'll be compared to these! Good work!
    Aw, it's always worth giving it a go! But thanks for the review again!

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

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    Agreeing with [Imaginative]:[Clockwork] that the Relicanth one was the best of this last bunch, if mostly for how you really captured the awkwardness of the situation of proud parents giving a not-so-appealing Pokemon to their overeager daughter. But I also really liked the Mienfoo one, since I thought it was the one that made the most out of its 100 words. The Pichu one was funny in that I honestly did not expect it to be so, well, secretive of its existence.

    I'm just not sure what to make of the Mienshao and Pikachu ones, since their scenes seem more, well, unfinished than the others. Yes, both of their scenes are clear from start to finish, but they don't have the solid ending that all the others do. I'm not sure if you were actually aiming for the fleetingness of the two drabbles, so if you were, then good job. But if you weren't, then I think you can make the endings stronger for both of them.

    Overall though they're really great, and I can't wait for more! Will it be too cliche if I requested the Mudkip line? Hahaha


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  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dramatic Melody View Post
    Agreeing with [Imaginative]:[Clockwork] that the Relicanth one was the best of this last bunch, if mostly for how you really captured the awkwardness of the situation of proud parents giving a not-so-appealing Pokemon to their overeager daughter. But I also really liked the Mienfoo one, since I thought it was the one that made the most out of its 100 words. The Pichu one was funny in that I honestly did not expect it to be so, well, secretive of its existence.
    Relicanth would be the best starter Pokemon. :V Neat to hear that about the Meinfoo drabble as well.
    I'm just not sure what to make of the Mienshao and Pikachu ones, since their scenes seem more, well, unfinished than the others. Yes, both of their scenes are clear from start to finish, but they don't have the solid ending that all the others do. I'm not sure if you were actually aiming for the fleetingness of the two drabbles, so if you were, then good job. But if you weren't, then I think you can make the endings stronger for both of them.
    I had been aiming for that with those drabbles, actually; Meinshao's was meant to have the abrupt attack-and-escape, while I settled on Pikachu running back out the way it came, as it seemed like a reasonable reaction for it to make given it sneaked into an unfamiliar place to begin with. But nonetheless, two reviews saying they felt weaker (or at least the Pikachu one) is an indication it didn't quite work out. =p

    Overall though they're really great, and I can't wait for more! Will it be too cliche if I requested the Mudkip line? Hahaha
    Not too cliche for me too refuse that, haha. =p I'll be posting the set I have done in a moment, and already started on the line after that, but Mudkip will follow. :V Thanks for reviewing again!

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  25. #25
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    Ponyta


    Intruder

    The farmhand squinted at the far side of the field. He covered his eyes from the sun and walked towards the intruder. Gradually he recognised it as a young Ponyta, and spied the gap in the fence it must have squirmed through. Suddenly it turned its head and stared at him with adolescent curiosity.

    “Go on, get out,” he urged. “Back to your owners.” It brayed and bent its head to graze.

    “No!” But the flames from its mane licked the turf and started spreading. The farmhand shook his head and summoned his Water type Pokémon.

    “We need fire-retardant grass...”

    A parody of the Pokemon Colosseum game, full of pastries and Miror B.
    Completed. Four times winner of Best Comedy/Funniest Fic.

    Avatar: minty-fivestar on DA, edited background/cropping. Fic banner: cieux.


    Pokémon news, opinions, creative works and more. Now live!


    A Guide to Pokémon GO!

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