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Thread: More than a Friend. PG [Shuu/Drew x Satoshi/Ash] One-shot.

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  1. #1
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    Default More than a Friend. PG [Shuu/Drew x Satoshi/Ash] One-shot.

    Umm, okay. I was told to post my RS fanfiction here...so, yeah. Anyways, this is my first Respectshipping fanfic. Twas written ages ago. I guess, I'm just trying to spread the love. o.o

    Note, this is my first fanfiction actually posted onto a forum. I feel kinda awkward so, try to go easy on me when it comes to critism ><. I'm bad at punctuation related stuff and well, I'm pretty slack at English.

    ...Also, I like putting Japanese words in my fics, because I'm a Japanese fangirl. >___<

    Warning: Some OOCness ahead and Shounen-ai/Yaoi (BoyxBoy). Don't like, don't read.

    ------------------
    More than a friend.



    “Konnichi wa Shuu-kun”

    Shuu looked up to see his long-time rival, Saori, staring at him.

    “Oh, konnichi wa Saori-san...” He replied in a low tone. There’s was something different about him, something...no one had noticed before. Saori blinked in confusion.

    “Is something bothering you? Shuu-kun?” The red-haired asked. Shuu shook his head. “Hmm, are you sure? Is it about Haruka-san?”

    Again, he shook his head.

    “There is something wrong with you...If you won’t tell me, I’ll just have to leave”, Saori responded and sighed heavily, “Okay, if you say so Shuu-kun. Sayonara.”

    And with that, she left.

    Shuu, who was constantly whispering to himself, remained in that state for the rest of the day. This caused some worry between Haruka-tachi, Saori and even Harley.

    -------
    “I wonder what could be wrong with Shuu...Harley-san, do you know?” Haruka asked.

    “Nope~! Poor Shuu-kun~ Maybe he’s sick or maybe he’s sick of you kamo-chan~!” The eccentric coordinator answered.

    “Ehh!? Harley-san! That’s preposterous! Right Masato? Takeshi? Satoshi?” Haruka replied.
    Masato and Takeshi looked at each other and sighed.

    “Onee-chan, If you didn’t realize, Satoshi isn’t here!” Masato replied. Haruka blinked and looked around.

    “Oh my, you’re right! Where is he?” Said the bandana girl. The guys shrugged.

    --------
    “Oi! Shuu!”

    Shuu turned around and his eyes widened at the sight.

    “Sa...to...I mean; Oh, you’re Haruka’s friend right?”

    “Yeah! I heard you were down in the dumps. You okay?” The black-haired boy asked. Shuu shook his head, causing the boy to worry. “I don’t want you to feel depressed or anything. If there’s something wrong, tell me. You can trust me...”

    Shuu looked at his feet.

    “You like me don't you? Don't you trust me?”

    Shuu’s emerald green eyes widened. Like him? No, no, no....Don’t think that Shuu!

    “Has Harley done anything to you?” Satoshi asked.

    “No...” Shuu answered.

    “Are you sure?”

    “Yes...”

    Satoshi sighed and laughed slightly.

    “What..?”

    “Hehe, well,” The wannabe Pokemon master responded, “I find it funny that even though I said crazy things, you still remained calm, cool and collected. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you crack.”

    “C-crack?” Shuu stammered.

    Satoshi continued laughing. “Yeah, what I mean is...I’ve never seen you explode in tears, laugh like crazy or gone berserk in anger. I’m sure you’ll never be like that though, because...”

    Shuu blinked.

    “Because, I know that you can handle everything by your-“

    Satoshi was cut off by Shuu, who had apparently, collapsed into his arms.

    “A...Are you okay?” Satoshi asked. Shuu got up and patted away the invisible dust on his body.

    “Yes. I’m okay. I guess I was tired. That’s all.” Shuu, who had a tint of red on his face, answered. Satoshi glanced at him and started laughing again. “N-nani?”

    “Nothing. Hey, I have a question”

    “What?” Shuu asked.

    “What do you think of everyone?”

    Shuu raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

    Satoshi shifted to the left a little bit, “I mean, if you had to sum everyone in one word, phrase, whatever; what would you say?”

    “Oh. I see.”

    “So, what do you think of Takeshi?”

    “He’s...nice. Pretty smart too.”

    “Masato?”

    “Dunno”

    Satoshi paused, “Harley?”

    “Uhh...No comment” Shuu answered.

    “Saori?”

    “Rival. End of story”

    “Hmm...what about Haruka?” Satoshi grinned.

    “I guess, Reckless, active, kawaii...?”

    “Kawaii? Shuu! That ain’t like you at all. Unless, you like Haruka, right?” Satoshi asked with much enthusiasm.

    “Actually,” Shuu looked up towards the sky, “I do like someone. Just not her.”

    “Oh really. Who?”

    Shuu paused and looked down for a while. His heartbeat sped up a couple of notches. His eyes scanned through the area to ensure privacy.

    “Well, I...”

    Doki...doki...doki (*SFX Heartbeat*)

    “I like you.” Shuu confessed.

    A blanket of silence covered the area.

    “What. Did. You. Say?” Satoshi asked, tearing the silence.

    “I like you. Yes. Yes, I like you.”

    “I see. Well, I thought you liked Haruka.” Satoshi replied, being that clueless person that he was.

    “Don’t you remember? I said I didn’t.”

    “Oh yeah.”

    ----
    “So, what do you say?” Shuu asked.

    Satoshi answered, “Nothing. I guess, I’m just surprised that you consider me a friend.”

    “A friend? No. More than a friend? Yes.” Replied the green-haired coordinator and tossed a rose to him.

    “Eh...eh...I’m-“

    “My ichiban.”

    “Eh?! You’re scaring me a bit Shuu...”

    “Oh, I’m sorry...” Shuu hid his eyes in his bangs, “I guess I should go. I need to train.”

    “Uh no. I think YOU should stay here.” Satoshi replied and grabbed Shuu’s arm, causing him to twirl and bump into him.

    “Ki..kimi?” Shuu’s face turned bright red. “What are you...”

    “Aww, come on. Call me Satoshi.” He replied and hugged Shuu tightly, making the coordinator blush more.

    “Sa-Satoshi...Boku wa...Boku wa...”

    “Hm?” Satoshi smiled at his blushing friend.

    “Boku wa...Satoshi wo...”

    Doki, doki, doki...

    “Aishiteru.”

    ~Owari

    ------------------------------------------
    Yes, I repeat, it was a one-shot...no wonder it was short. It fitted three pages on Word. Remember, this was my first RS fic...And I'm well aware that some parts seemed a little "WTF? O__O", but...This was written sometime in the earlier half of the year. *Shuts up*

    Anyways, review, help or just fangirl at the Respectshipping love. ^__^

    Btw, if it was too long, please tell me. I'll be aware of that for the future. *Bows*


    Other interests and HSC preparations have prompted me to be inactive. T3T

    But you can still find me here yo~
    Or the usual places (MSN, Facebook, etc.)

  2. #2
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    Finally. An RS fic! ^_^ *breathes and reads* Here goes...

    “You like me don't you? Don't you trust me?”

    Shuu’s emerald green eyes widened. Like him? No, no, no....Don’t think that Shuu!
    Yes, yes, think that Shuu! x3

    Doki...doki...doki (*SFX Heartbeat*)
    xD Shuu got kawaii there. <33

    “My ichiban.”

    “Eh?! You’re scaring me a bit Shuu...”
    xD That kinda scared me too. x_x *shot*

    “Uh no. I think YOU should stay here.” Satoshi replied and grabbed Shuu’s arm, causing him to twirl and bump into him.

    “Ki..kimi?” Shuu’s face turned bright red. “What are you...”

    “Aww, come on. Call me Satoshi.” He replied and hugged Shuu tightly, making the coordinator blush more.
    *faints and breathes in deeply* RS love! <33

    “Hm?” Satoshi smiled at his blushing friend.

    “Boku wa...Satoshi wo...”

    Doki, doki, doki...

    “Aishiteru.”
    Such a Kawaii ending! <33 Shuu said I love you. *faints*

    I love this RS fic! <33 Satoshi and Shuu is the love. =D

    ...It would be better if they gave a peck on the cheek or something. *shot*
    x3 But I love how they got together, anyway. =D

    Hope to see more RS fics from you in the future! ^_^

    Cecilia-Chan~
    STRAWBERRIES : DD
    (they rock and don't deny it or I'll send the strawberry army after you)

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Cecilia~

    ...It would be better if they gave a peck on the cheek or something. *shot*
    x3
    I thought the same thing. But, I wrote this when I thought Satoshi and Shuu weren't...let's say, lovey dovey or anything. *shot*

        Spoiler:- But..:


    And thanks for the review. Yes, I think I even got scared at that part..


    Other interests and HSC preparations have prompted me to be inactive. T3T

    But you can still find me here yo~
    Or the usual places (MSN, Facebook, etc.)

  4. #4
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    This story was cute. The first time I read respectshipping fic.
    And we need more of them! >_<
    “Aww, come on. Call me Satoshi.” He replied and hugged Shuu tightly, making the coordinator blush more.
    That was so cute, I would probably die if it happened in the real anime! XD

    “Kawaii? Shuu! That ain’t like you at all. Unless, you like Haruka, right?” Satoshi asked with much enthusiasm.
    Yes Drew, whats wrong with you? YOU BELONG WITH ASH!!!
    “Actually,” Shuu looked up towards the sky, “I do like someone. Just not her.”

    “Oh really. Who?”
    Ash! You're so dense!

    heh heh, I really liked this fic, I hope you write more.
    I'll try to, maybe, but I haven't writen a shipping fic for a gay couple before.
    And this is the first gay couple I support. 8D
    ~*Uza-chan's Good bye*~

    IS SUPAH FIIIINE

  5. #5

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    Hello. *waves* Faerie here. I have about two minutes to review so this is gonna be short.

    This was pretty good. I liked the characters' interaction. It was awkward. But that's a good thing, cause it's supposed to be awkward. So you did good on that. xD Am I making sense?

    The description was...lacking, to put it mildly. You made up for it in the dialouge, but there was no description of location or anything. Try working on that. ^__^

    Um...
    “Well, I...”

    Doki...doki...doki (*SFX Heartbeat*)

    “I like you.” Shuu confessed.
    Not bad, but the (*SFX Heartbeat*) thing ruined that part for me. ;__;

    Ooh, Nihongo. I'm always glad to see a little foreign language thrown into a fanfic, expecially when it's Japanese. ^__^ I understood every Japanese word in there! *whoop*

    Overall it was good! Besides, it was SatoShuu so either way I'm a happy clam.

  6. #6
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    Haha your fic owns, Hoshika. x3
    RS hugs for the win! A good description too. =) A nice job for your first fic. I know you have more. >O;

    ONOMNOMNOM

    Gif Credit | Amourshipping Contestshipping | Uta☆Pri fan

    Play Shippers' Truth or Dare game with us!

  7. #7
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    “Hehe, well,” The wannabe Pokemon master responded, “I find it funny that even though I said crazy things, you still remained calm, cool and collected. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you crack.”
    XDDDDDDDDDD @ that. Shuu was all WTF and everything. XD

    I'd say its pretty good for your first RS fic. I loved all of the added japanese phrases in there, because sometimes people use japanese names and just use plain english [boring], so I just wanted to let you know that I really liked that.

    Description was alright, maybe just work on adding more in the future, if you plan on writing anymore RS [which you should, btw! XD]. Just add in like two or so more sentences describing location/etc, and you'll be all set with description and detail. ^.^

    Like Faerie said, the SFX thing doesn't need to be added. You could've described the heartbeat after Doki...doki...doki.

    Um...other than that, I saw nothing wrong or anything. Harley was so funny, and when Shuu called Haruka kawaii, I was all lol. I loved the interaction between them -- the part where Shuu admitted to liking him, and Satoshi being dense about it at first. XD; And I LOVED this part:

    “Aww, come on. Call me Satoshi.” He replied and hugged Shuu tightly, making the coordinator blush more.
    THAT WAS SO CUTE! X3 Shuu blushing, especially over Satoshi, is love. ♥ Keep up the good work, and can't wait to see more from you!

  8. #8
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    *squeals* wow that was soo kawaii. Drew/Ash is the only slash pairing that I like. Oh that was brilliant.

    “Oi! Shuu!”

    Shuu turned around and his eyes widened at the sight.

    “Sa...to...I mean; Oh, you’re Haruka’s friend right?”
    ha, I liked that bit. ah Shuu, hiding his feelings as usual hehe

    Satoshi continued laughing. “Yeah, what I mean is...I’ve never seen you explode in tears, laugh like crazy or gone berserk in anger. I’m sure you’ll never be like that though, because...”

    Shuu blinked.

    “Because, I know that you can handle everything by your-“

    Satoshi was cut off by Shuu, who had apparently, collapsed into his arms.

    “A...Are you okay?” Satoshi asked. Shuu got up and patted away the invisible dust on his body.
    Oh I loved that bit. So ultra kawaii.

    “Yes. I’m okay. I guess I was tired. That’s all.” Shuu, who had a tint of red on his face, answered. Satoshi glanced at him and started laughing again. “N-nani?”
    What does Nani mean? lol Sorry, i am not the best at japanese


    Satoshi answered, “Nothing. I guess, I’m just surprised that you consider me a friend.”
    Oh dear lord. you sure stayed faithful to how dence ash is lol.


    “My ichiban.”
    what does that mean? lol

    “Oh, I’m sorry...” Shuu hid his eyes in his bangs, “I guess I should go. I need to train.”

    “Uh no. I think YOU should stay here.” Satoshi replied and grabbed Shuu’s arm, causing him to twirl and bump into him.

    “Ki..kimi?” Shuu’s face turned bright red. “What are you...”

    “Aww, come on. Call me Satoshi.” He replied and hugged Shuu tightly, making the coordinator blush more.

    “Sa-Satoshi...Boku wa...Boku wa...”

    “Hm?” Satoshi smiled at his blushing friend.

    “Boku wa...Satoshi wo...”
    awwwww, that is sooo CUTE!!! Could you just tell me what the japanese parts mean please? arigatou!

    Great fic, so cute and stayed faithful to the characters
    ~CuteDrew667~
    xoxox

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  9. #9
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    Wow, I never realised how many people liked it, usually, only my friends read my fics.

    @ Chelc and Faerie, Ah...that thing. I forgot to take it out. My friends kept asking me what "Doki doki" was. I got sick of telling and decided to add it into my fic. I apologise. ^^;;;

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667
    Could you just tell me what the japanese parts mean please? arigatou!
    No problem.

    Nani = What?
    Kimi = You (Male dialect)
    Boku wa = I am (Male dialect)
    Ichiban = Number one
    Aishiteru = I love you.

    I think that's about it. At the end, Shuu went, "I...Satoshi...I love you" <3

    Hope that helped. ^^


    Other interests and HSC preparations have prompted me to be inactive. T3T

    But you can still find me here yo~
    Or the usual places (MSN, Facebook, etc.)

  10. #10
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    rose: wow... that was adorable and my heart is beating like crazy from it!! it cute how you had Shuu stutter like that when he was trying to tell Satoshi he liked him. so cute!

    RikuxSora fan for life!!
    credit to pgsmfan's station for the image[/SIZE]

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