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Thread: That little pink town (one-shot)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006

    Default That little pink town (one-shot)

    This is my first story here.
    It's a one-shot.
    Rating: PG (I think, I'm used to different ratings)
    There's a little bit of Pokeshipping and a lot of other shipping invloving May, the name would spoil it, I think
    Please don't get me into trouble *cries torkoal style*

    Why? Why am I still here? I don’t care about stupid shops, I don’t care about these pink houses. So why am I still here? Maybe I’ll go and watch the Valentine’s Contest. Maybe I see... no wait that’s not possible, I have to get rid of these thoughts. There’s no use, I’ll just have to get used to these thoughts. Wait a second, that’s the perfect gift. I don’t have to give it next week, I suppose. I have to come up with a good excuse anyway. Maybe these thoughts aren’t so bad anyway.


    ‘Wow, the town reallly does look lovely from up here,’ a young girl said to her friends. She was around 13 years old with long brown hair and dark blue eyes. She wore a red shirt with a white mini skirt and dark bikershorts under it.She had red sneakers on and a bandana was tied up at her head and a yellow fanny pack was around her waist.
    ‘And there already setting up the Valentine’s fair,’ a older girl said in delight. This one was around 16 years of age and had long orange hair tided up in a ponytail. Her eyes were seagreen. This girl was wearing a short, sleeveless shirt (?) with one button in the middle. She something red under it, which was a bit longer than her shirt. She had yellow minishorts on and also yellow sneakers.
    ‘Let’s have some fun, Ash,’ the older girl said, as she dragged along a 15-year-old boy with messy black hair. He had a blue sweater on with lightblue jeans and blue sneakers uder it. On his head he wore a red baseballcap and on his shoulder a pikachu.‘Ahh, Misty, the fair is probably not even open yet,’ Ash screamed almost in pain.
    ‘Then it’s time for some city-education,’ a young man, with light brown skin, said while going throw a little book. This young man seemed older than the otherones. He was around the age of 22, he had spikey, brown hair and narrowed eyes. He wore a green t-shirt with a dark brown jacket over it. His pants were a mix of brown and green, he had dark blue sneakers on. ‘Valetine’s town is located in the centre of a peacefull valley and is know for it’s big celebration of Valetine’s day. The towns real name is lost in history because of this celebration. The annuel fair is the largest in the country, that’s why there are a few big hotels on the edge of the city,’ the older boy read from his little book.
    ‘Brock, even I don’t want to hear that info,’ A boy said, he was the youngest of the group. He had dark blue hair, dark eyes and glasses. He was wearing a green polo-like shirt and brown shorts with black/green sneakers under it.
    ‘But wait, there’s more,’ Brock announced with a big smile on his face. The rest of the group just sweatdropped at this sight. ‘It says here that the day after Valentine’s Day the town holds a Valentine’s Contest. People can only enter as a team containing a male and a female and both already have one ribbon each.’ ‘That means you can’t enter, sis,’ the younger boy said to the brown-haired girl. ‘Thanks for stating the obvious, Max,’ the girl said in reply. ‘It says here that the hold more than one contest a year, so cheer up, May,’ Brock said.
    ‘I’m going to ask when the next regular contest is,’ May yelled happily while she started to run the hill the others were standing on.

    May wandered through the pink houses with white roofs, till she spotted the Contest Hall. The Hall was darkred with white hearts, it didn’t look big just like the town it stood in. When she entered the Hall she heard a familiar voice from behind her ‘Let me guess, you didn’t know that you can’t enter the upcoming contest alone.’ May didn’t have to turn around to see that voice came from a boy, who was 14 years old, with green hair and green eyes.He would probably still wear his black shirt with long sleeves, a purple jacket over it, and lightblue jeans with tidy, black shoes under it.
    She turned around to face him, she was right he still wore the same style of clothes, only he had black sneakers on now. She looked at him, standing there with one hand in his pocket and the other one hanging next to his body. ‘For your information, Drew, I was going to ask when the next regular contest would be held here,’ she answered in a angry tone, while raising her fists.
    He looked confused, because he didn’t expect her to actually know that. ‘Maybe you’re becoming a little smarter after all, but you still have a temperproblem,’ He said and flicked his hair. ‘See you around, May,’ tossing her a rose before walking away.
    Just after Drew had left the rest of the group entered the Hall. ‘Looks like Drew is also here,’ Max stated, looking at the rose his sister was holding in her hands. May turned around to the receptionist ‘I have a question, madam.’ ‘The next one will be at the 15th of March,’ the lady answered, obviously she had heard the previous conversation. ‘Thank you,’ May replied, a little bit sad.
    ‘Cheer up, May,’ misty said to the girl, ‘We already booked two rooms at the PokeCenter, so now we can go spend our money at some of the local shops.’ ‘And in the end it will probably be my money that she is going to spend,’ Ash sighted. ‘Well, you still need to buy me Valentine’s present, sweetie,’ Misty said happily.


    May and Misty were staring in the window of a jewelry. They were looking at a beatifull silver necklace with a big silver heart, in the centre of the haert was a little ruby. ‘It’s really beautifull, but way to expensive for me,’ May sighted. ‘Come on, we bought enough for today,’ Misty said to May. Both girls were carring four shoppingbags filled with al kinds of stuff.

    When the girls entered their room they same a bouquet of red roses standing at the table of the room. ‘To May, it’s almost Valetine’s Day, these are for you, I hope you know what they say.’ Misty read outloud from the card. At that moment the guys entered the room. ‘Does anyone of you know who send these roses?’ May asked them. ‘No,’ the guys answered in union.
    May went to desk were Nurse Joy was reading some papers. ‘Nurse Joy, did you see anybody come in with a bouquet of red roses this afternoon?’ She asked the woman behind the desk. Before Joy could answer, Brock showed up, ‘Ow, my sweet joy in life, come with me to the fair.’ ‘Why don’t you come with us?’ He was grabbed by the ear by Misty, while Max pulled at his pants. Joy had a uneasy smile at her face before she turned to May and answering her question ‘I know the roses are from, but I made a promise not to tell you, I’m sorry.’ May dropped her head at the answer, ‘Thank you, anyway.’


    3 days had passed since the roses and the group had enjoyed the town the passed few days. When they entered the PokeCenter that night, Nurse Joy called ‘May, I have something for you.’ She handed the girl a small, blue box with a green ribbon tied around it. ‘Well, open it!’ Misty said, she was leaning over May’s schoulder.
    May removed the ribbon carefully and opened the box. In the box was a pair of earrings shaped like hearts and a note saying If you want to know who I am, come to the fair at Valentine’s Day. I’ll be waiting at the ferris wheel at noon.
    ‘I wish I could be that romantic,’ Ash said to nobody specific. ‘Chu chu chu,’ Pikachu laughed, almost falling of the boy’s schoulder. He stopped when his best friend glared at him.

    That night, May couldn’t sleep, she was thinking about her gifts and who could have send them. He most be in town, because Nurse Joy say him. Maybe he’s hiding himself. Let’s see, who did I meet on our journey. No, that’s to much, must be more specific. Let’s see, he most be around my age and have a lot of money on him. I don’t think that he’s staying at the Center, I didn’t see anyone I know here. Maybe it’s Sid, no he would write his name on the card and I don’t see him making a poem anytime soon. Howabout Brendan, no, he doesn’t have enough money and would stay at the Center and he isn’t good in hiding anyway. Hum?? Drew always gives me roses, but I don’t think he likes me as much as I like him. How on earth did I fall in love with a guy who is sarcastic to me all the time. May grew tired of al her worring and the last thing she wished before she fell asleep was that it really was Drew.


    ‘Hoera, it’s Valentine’s Day!’ Brock shouted happily. ‘I’m off to the fair.’ And with that he ran out of the Center, his backpack stuffed with presented for all the lovely girls he would meet. ‘Poor girls,’ Max sighted while looking at his running friend. He went to were Ash and Misty were sitting. Ash and Misty were just exchanging their presents. Ash had asked to make a Luvball and sent it to him, while Misty had bought Ash a book about Pokemon and there habits in love. (don’t ask)
    ‘Where’s May?’ Max asked the two of them. ‘She is still asleep,’Misty answered him while looking dreamily at Ash. ‘Nooooooooo! it’s past eleven thirty already!’ Max shouted, knowing his sister was going to mis the mysterieus boy. Misty and Ash looked freaked out by his reaction. ‘I’ll wake her up and help her get ready,’ Misty yelled while running to their room.


    It was a quarter past twelve already, when May finally reached the fair. The ferris wheel was right in the middle of the fair. This can’t be happening to me, I have to hurry. It’s was twelve thirty when she reached the ferris wheel. She looked around, but only saw Brock harrasshing some girls, she didn’t care at that moment what he was doing.
    ‘Why aren’t you protecting those girls from your crazy friend? And were are your friends anyway?’ The voice came from behind her. may turned around and saw Drew standing right in front of her. He looked at her with a smirk on his face. ‘Listen Drew, I don’t have time for your sarcasme today,’ May said with a slice of anger in her tone.
    ‘To May, it’s Valentine’s Day and I have someting to say,’ Drew started and May looked confused at the boy. He does the samething as the writing on the card. He continued, ‘First of all it’s rude to let people wait half a hour, second I’m not going to be sarcastic to you today and last, this is for you.’ He handed her a red box with a golden ribbon around it. When she opened the box she saw the silver necklace from the jewelrystory. she heard him say, ‘Consider this my Valentine’s present for you.’ She put the necklace on and looked at him with a large smile on her face.
    She put her arms around his neck, ‘This is my present,’ she said before putting her lips on his. She felt him putting his arms around her waist. Nearby stood Misty, leaning her back to Ash and his arms around her waist. Next to them stood Max, his arms crossed and a proud smile on his face. A few meters futher Brock was standing crying, because hes was rejected by at least 20 girls already. They were al standing there at the big fair in that little pink town.

    Please let there be some honest reviewers, please
    Say if I can write another story or not

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Liverpool, NY


    Wow, I really liked that. It probably been better if you posted it on Valentines Day but that's alright. You did a great job at the writing but I thought that some parts were rushed. Also, don't use an apostrophy(sp?) ya know, this thing ', use a quotation mark " for people talking.
    "Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die." -Alaska Young (Looking For Alaska)

    Andrew James Vivelo

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    New York City

    Thumbs up

    Awww, so cute! I like how you ended it. One of the most important aspects of a fic is the ending because that practically tells the reader if the selection was worth reading or not. Absolutely wonderful! Good job for a beginning.
    if you like Ash/Misty along with May/Drew, be sure to read my fic (it is on my signature; hero)
    thanks & good job
    (n.): Because we don't forget 5five
    seasons, 4four cameos, 3three supporters,
    2two gifts, and 1one departure worth of emotions.

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