Page 1 of 24 1234511 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 593

Thread: A E Ř N: End

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    3,049

    Default A E Ř N: End

    •|A E Ř N
    T H E • E N D • I S • ř N L Y • T H E • B E G I N N I N G


    This Fan-Fiction is suitable for readers of ages 14+
    for mild to heavy violence, a little swearing, drunken tirades,
    and other behaviors generally thought to be too much for younger readers.
    However, if you believe yourself to be mature enough, do proceed.
    This is primarily of the action-adventure genre with supernatural themes.
    As a final note, the chapters of Aeon do not occur in chronological order.
    Please enjoy this story, and thank you for taking the time to read this.
    For those of you jumping in late, there is a chapter index.

    • QUICK ACCESS CHAPTER INDEX•
    (for those of you who happen to jump in the story late)
    •
    [ Ř: PRELUDE TO AN INTERLUDE ]
    [ ŘŘ: INTERLUDE ]
    [ 1: FIRST DIRGE ]
    [ 2: SECOND DIRGE ]
    [ 3: THIRD DIRGE ]
    [ 4: FOURTH DIRGE ]
    [ 5: FIFTH DIRGE ]
    [ 6: SIXTH DIRGE ]
    [ 7: SEVENTH DIRGE ]
    [ 8: EIGHTH DIRGE ]
    [ 9: NINTH DIRGE ]
    [ 10: TENTH DIRGE ]
    [ 11: ELEVENTH DIRGE ]
    [ 12: TWELFTH DIRGE ]
    [ 13: THIRTEENTH DIRGE ]
    [ 14: FOURTEENTH DIRGE ]
    [ 15: FIFTEENTH DIRGE ]
    [ 16: SIXTEENTH DIRGE ]
    [ 17: SEVENTEENTH DIRGE ]
    [ 18: EIGHTEENTH DIRGE ]
    [ 19: NINETEENTH DIRGE ]
    [ 20: TWENTIETH DIRGE ]
    [ 21: TWENTY-FIRST DIRGE ]
    [ 22: ENDGAME ]
    [ 23: THE WAKE ]
    [ 24: ENCŘRE ]



    PRELUDE TO AN INTERLUDE


    Zeffy’s gripping my throat in her hand and saying the first step to eternal life is you have to die. For a long time though, I had already been dead. Her thumb pressed against my jugular, Zeffy says, “We won’t really die, Linali.”

    Her crazed eyes are only inches away from my own, and for some odd reason I find myself staring into them, unable to pull away. They were pale blue, the dead blue of winter—the kind of winter where you’d find songbirds frozen to their perches in trees. The bag of bones, that tattered dirty old sack, it’s lying at her feet all lumpy and worn. It’s the one thing that hasn’t changed, after all these centuries.

    So Zeffy and I are on top of the Affiliation Building with her arm between us, and we hear glass breaking. We’re on the tallest building in the world, even taller than the Silph Building in Saffron. Of course, that city’s gone now. Everything’s gone.

    Everything’s burning.

    One hundred and ninety-five floors up, you look over the edge of the roof and the streets below are crazily jammed with people and Pokemon alike, engulfed in chaotic panic. Thick black smoke’s rolling down the crammed streets, creating a sooty haze. The sky’s a cauldron of fire, starkly illuminating the ruined city, and meteors are streaking downwards, belching smoke and fire as they burn up into sparks that skitter upon the hot wind.

    Ho-oh’s angry.

    My fault.

    The breaking glass is a window right below us. A window blows out the side of the building, and the blackened skeletal remains of a Kabutops emerge, clattering and groaning. It drops right out of the cliff face of the building, and falls turning slowly, getting smaller, and disappears into the packed crowd below. Somewhere in the one hundred and ninety-five floors below us, the Missingno-infected Pokemon are running wild, destroying every scrap of human history. Well, at least that’s one of their names, I think. Mis-sin-gno—they used to be called simply Sin. The soul-scrapers are everywhere, and it’s all my fault. My fault.

    We’re down to our last seven minutes.

    Another window blows out of the building, and glass sprays out, sparkling and spinning, and then a large Aerodactyl in the late stages of decay swells out from the jagged hole, wings crackling and tearing as they snag upon the glass blades. Its eyes are empty black holes; its gray scales reduced to mere ribbons. The Sin-ridden beast keens as it tumbles wildly into the raw red sky, bare ribcage gleaming in the demonic light.

    The Affiliation Building won’t be here in six minutes. Directly above us, amid the howling fires, I see a slowly spinning vortex in the upper atmosphere, a whirling holocaust of furnace heat pressing down on us. It’s so vast, it seems to engulf the entirety of the sky. The air all around us is shimmering and distorted, altering perception beyond recognition. The vortex is a blazing maw intent on swallowing us up.

    Five minutes.

    Zeffy and me at the edge of the roof, her fingers tightening around my throat and I’m wondering how painful the end of the world will be. We’re watching as the city of Eden— the last refuge of mankind— burns to the ground. One of the lens in my glasses are shattered, so the world is partly splintered into a mess of broken fragments.

    “We won’t really die, Linali. Our pneuma leaves our soma and our saryx decays, but we won’t really die. You hear me?”

    We watch as the Persian evacuate, spilling out into the crowded streets. They’re giving up a good fight, but it isn’t enough. Once upon a time, they reigned supreme as the glorious Affiliation; now they’re fleeing, Sin snapping at their heels as their legacy burns down all around them. History’s burning right before our eyes. Distant explosions echo in my ears as dark, winged shapes flicker across the glowing red underside of the clouds. I recognize them.

    “ This is my world now, my fucked-up world,” Zeffy says softly, her short pink hair whipping about in the furnace-hot blast of wind, “and Heaven has abandoned humanity. Sin is destroying the gods’ children and their city right before your eyes. You all have lost. But you can be salvaged. Give me the blood of Mew. Give me the final silver coin right now, and I’ll give you salvation.” Her voice is a gentle, hoarse whisper in my ear.

    I feel her ragged, dirty fingernails pressing into my skin.

    Four minutes.

    Up on top of the Affiliation building, as the howling soul-scrapers run amok through the streets and broken glass rains down on the crowd and fire funnels up out the skeletons of ruined skyscrapers, I know—with a deep horror in my heart—this madness, the holocaust, the Sin virus, the burning sky is really all about thirty bloodstained silver coins.

    Three minutes.

    It all started when Mew was crucified in Babylon by a group of zealots, who then proceeded to sell her blood for a handful of silver coins. Their punishment came swiftly and brutally, and Babylon the first city of Man burned to the ground and that was that. But the grudge, the old anger, it was still there…. after centuries and centuries, the grudge was still there. And now it’s happening all over again. History repeats itself…only this time, all of humanity’s about to die out. For good.

    All over thirty silver coins.

    Two minutes.

    The holocaust’s coalesced into a massive sphere of thunderous raw heat above us, descending with slow, terrifying majesty. As it draws closer, everything vibrates and wavers, becoming colorless and semi-transparent….shuddering and warping and breaking up into molten white-hot heat as the roaring inferno gradually engulfs everything in searing white infinity. I close my eyes and wait.

    This is the end.

    But all I can think about is the distant memory of two boys, a girl, and their Pokemon on a shabby hand-built raft, sailing towards the far-away horizon…

    there was a time when the world wasn’t so complicated.


    •


    Author's Notes and Comments: I can't believe it. I actually am posting my magnum opus, after nearly a year's worh of work. Admittedly, there's still a few chapters left to write, but I'm sure I should finish them as Aeon's being posted.

    This chapter is a tribute to one of my favorite movies/writer, so kudos to the clever reader who recognizes it. Not all of Aeon's chapters are as violent or dark as this...and some are even more violent. XP But there should be something for everyone--humor, drama, Pokemon battles, plenty of alcohol, and a psycho Paras on the loose. Readers of Sin and Were (I'll be impressed if anyone still remembers that)--will recognize some of the various characters that appear in Aeon, as well as practically all of my one-shots.

    I was mulling over a chapter index, but I don't know...XP I'm sure people want a directory to quickly access a chapter, but I don't know where to place it. <<; Opinions, reviews, flames, you're all welcome. Just remember, I appreciate them all--even the closet readers. And of course, there's the complientary cardboard boxes on the sidewalk and boxes of beer for all you bums. ;D

    +
    Last edited by Kiyohime; 6th June 2008 at 11:26 PM.

  2. #2

    Default

    W00t! Its up. xD I'm so sorry I haven't seemed to have shown any interest in this. I was kinda caught by suprise when I saw that it was up.

    Man, that was one great way to start the fic. The fact that took place with in 7 minutes only makes it all the more intresting. Great job!

    One question. Babylon? I'm just confused over your choice. Babylon was the center of Mesopotamia at two disnct periods. However, Babylon wasn't even very important until more than a thousand years AFTER Mesopotamia became the center of civillization... Wouldn't an ealier city like Akkad, Uruk, or Ur be more appopriate? Just a thought, sorry, I couldn't resist. xD

    EDIT: First Post. I've officially pwned the Fanfic section. WORSHIP MEH :3 *starts feasting on flan*
    I'm not here
    (This isn't happening)

    Slipstream - A Cherry Red Gibson

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    3,049

    Default

    I must review your poem. XD

    I know, I know...but Babylon just had a nice, pleasant ring to it for me. <<; And it's more widely recongized...though Ur is very neat. I think, what cinched it for me was the legend of the Babel Tower. :B

    THANKYOO FOR REVIEWING, old buddy. *flan plushie*

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    kansas
    Posts
    1,178

    Default

    You know, admittedly, I never have read really any of your work save for a few oneshots I believe. I believe it was out of the fact by time I noticed you, you had several readers and chapters up with Sin and I just didn't feel or want to read someone who was outdoing me :P

    I need to stop being so damn selfish.


    Anyway... really glad I caught this early, I can actually keep up with it then. As I am horrible about reading and reviewing.


    The breaking glass is a window right below us. A window blows out the side of the building, and the blackened skeletal remains of a Kabutops emerge, clattering and groaning. It drops right out of the cliff face of the building, and falls turning slowly, getting smaller, and disappears into the packed crowd below. Somewhere in the one hundred and ninety-five floors below us, the Missingno-infected Pokemon are running wild, destroying every scrap of human history. Well, at least that’s one of their names, I think. Mis-sin-gno—they used to be called simply Sin. The soul-scrapers are everywhere, and it’s all my fault. My fault.
    I liked this part, it ws just cool to read and get all that info. I was all o.o COOL and yeah, made me think.

    Some other parts I liked as well. Though its really hard for me to give a solid review since its only like the beginning. I'll be poking around as I finally got to read something everyone else has been talking about.

    no pressure.
    Nearly eight years ago, I met Yami Ryu on this forum. She was a flamer and angry, but yet we became the best of friends.
    It was in December of 2011 that she found out she had cancer.
    It was January 9th when she passed away.
    A connection I made eight years ago on this forum passed away, alone, unloved by most, her own father probably didn't care.
    I love you, Yami Ryu, you are my best friend and I miss you so freakin much.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    3,049

    Default

    Myuu! ;; I'm so happy to see you. Haven't talked in awhile. D: No, you aren't selfish. We're all just lazy. But I'll be adding a chapter index to make it easier for people to go directly to chapters.

    Don't feel pressured to review every single chapter, I'm just glad you're reading at all. XP And I like those .gifs in your siggy, too. @_@

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    4,501

    Default

    Holy crap. Just, HOLY CRAP that just drew me in, glued me to my chair and just made me watch o-o but not complaining cause damn this was like watching a movie, and it was so good I had to re-read and catch things I missed before. It makes me think of one of my fave games, some FF elements and pokemon all wrapped up in a fanatasy world of ... wow perportions

    I might not remember to read the chapters on time but I'll try o-o

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    On a Mars bar. :)
    Posts
    1,583

    Default

    So this is Aeon... =D

    I still remember that preview you put up, why, must have been a year ago or something like that. The one with the son and daughter of mew, I think. =D I've been looking forward to this for a while...

    I quite enjoyed this, Scrap! There were parts that really drew me in, especially the image of the Aerodactyl bursting out the window. =D

    ...I have to admit, though, I wasn't very fond of a few parts. The second part of the beginning sentences in particular.

    Her thumb pressed against my jugular, Zeffy says, “We won’t really die, Linali.”
    It's just a little confusingly written, I suppose. The combination of past and pressent tense didn't work so well here, I think. But that is just me.

    Up on top of the Affiliation building, as the howling soul-scrapers run amok through the streets and broken glass rains down on the crowd and fire funnels up out the skeletons of ruined skyscrapers,
    This is the other part that bothered me a little. I could see what you were trying to get across, but there were a few too many 'and's there. It kinda ruined the effect for me, and seemed a little long. I know it is hard to get rid of pieces of your writing, and information that you feel is really needed, but one of those 'and' sentences I feel needs to go. But again, this is just my opinion. =D

    I still loved this, and I can't wait for the next part. Keep up the good work! =D


    Floating over your rocky spine
    The glaciers made you and now you're mine


    Pair: duncan | Lyrics: Great Lake Swimmers

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    3,049

    Default

    Thank you, Yami Ryu (I was kind of afraid of your reaction, and now I sigh in relief XP). And funny you mention FF--I'm playing FF X at the moment--it's my current addiction.

    Katiekitten, you're right--I tend to slip into "stream of consciousness" without thinking about sentence structure. I'll see what I can do to rectify that in my other chapters (hooray, more spell/grammar checking XD).

    Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment! ^^

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Flooded Europa
    Posts
    391

    Default

    Hiya! I've seen this advertised and decided to check it out.

    Good Points

    You've got an interesting plot, I'd like to know more. Though I'm not quite fond of flash backs, I'll be keeping an eye on this.

    Other comments:

    There is one thing I really have to say though, that stuck out with me. Your use of present tense. It might be just because we have different writing styles, but it didn't work for me. I couldn't get into the story. There were parts when I just got in, but then the present tense kicked me out again.

    For example; your beginning sentence.

    Zeffy’s gripping my throat in her hand and saying the first step to eternal life is you have to die. For a long time though, I was already dead. Her thumb pressed against my jugular, Zeffy says, “We won’t really die, Linali.”
    It just didn't work, didn't get me in. The present on it's own, or with badly placed past tense, just didn't flow.

    With the flow perfect, your great sentences will shine, and the story will be an enjoyable and intriguing read.

    [edit - in 2011?]

    omo; I am both censoring myself here and correcting my spelling here. Jeeze, I was a snooty preteen. </3
    Last edited by Ejunknown; 2nd September 2011 at 2:56 AM.

    demise: the last remnants of the fallen

    chapter two complete: defective.


    meddling with time: where time lines collide
    a new fanfiction of twisted time and mistaken love chapter one complete: steps forward


    author's profile -review exchange profile - deviant [/COLOR]

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    3,049

    Default

    Yes, you're not the only one who feels thay way--Katiekitten pointed that out as well. It seems I have a problem with tenses in this context, and I'm sorry about that. ><;; Thank you so much for reviewing it anyway and pointing that out. I promise to try and look out for that before I post future chapters.

    Also--just a nitpick, but it isn't a flashback--it's "realtime." All of the chapters are NOT in chronological order. xP

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Flooded Europa
    Posts
    391

    Default

    Ah, I got the wrong impression then. Then that is perfect. Definitely keeping an eye on this.

    XD Don't worry about it.

    i used to use a lot of emoticons, the edit is me censoring myself. <3
    Last edited by Ejunknown; 2nd September 2011 at 2:58 AM.

    demise: the last remnants of the fallen

    chapter two complete: defective.


    meddling with time: where time lines collide
    a new fanfiction of twisted time and mistaken love chapter one complete: steps forward


    author's profile -review exchange profile - deviant [/COLOR]

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Downtown.
    Posts
    859

    Default

    AT LAST! *faves*

    Excellent, just plain awesometude. Though(and I can't believe no one's caught this, it's glaring right in their faces at te start), the title of the chapter, "Prelude to a Interlude," should be "Prelude to an Interlude."

    As for this particular part;
    Her thumb pressed against my jugular, Zeffy says, “We won’t really die, Linali.”
    *clears throat* WHY IN TEH HELLZ do some people seem to be thinking that the "pressed" is a past-tense verb? It's saying that Zeffy's thumb is pressed against Linali's jugular, not that it did press against her jugular. There's a present tense linking verb that's not shown but is still there, it's acting more like an adjective for her thumb.

    Though I'd say that on this part;
    For a long time though, I was already dead.
    they're somewhat correct, as that is in fact, past-tense. A better way for it to fit the current tense would probably be something along the lines of;
    For a long time, though, I had already been dead.
    Or something like that.

    Anyway, think I covered everything I needed to, though I think I just commited syntax homicide upon the poor semicolons. *pulls up cardboard box, sits and sips beer*
    Last edited by Wondrous Sableye; 30th August 2006 at 11:23 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by MayuZane
    There is nothing noble about dragons. They're basically magical dinosaurs.

    At least they're great for surfing.
    lol, applicability.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Training at Sootopolis City
    Posts
    1,697

    Default

    See everyone, told you we all should run away before Aeon comes out! XD

    Anyways Kiyohime, this is some good stuff here. No wonder everyone was excited to see this! Okay, some of my favorite parts:

    One hundred and ninety-five floors up, you look over the edge of the roof and the streets below are crazily jammed with people and Pokemon alike, engulfed in chaotic panic. Thick black smoke’s rolling down the crammed streets, creating a sooty haze. The sky’s a cauldron of fire, starkly illuminating the ruined city, and meteors are streaking downwards, belching smoke and fire as they burn up into sparks that skitter upon the hot wind.

    Ho-oh’s angry.

    My fault.
    Oh my gosh, so it was Ho-oh that started this Armageddon? :O

    Another window blows out of the building, and glass sprays out, sparkling and spinning, and then a large Aerodactyl in the late stages of decay swells out from the jagged hole, wings crackling and tearing as they snag upon the glass blades. Its eyes are empty black holes; its gray scales reduced to mere ribbons. The Sin-ridden beast keens as it tumbles wildly into the raw red sky, bare ribcage gleaming in the demonic light.
    Hehe, I liked the description of this sentence. Also, liked how you put the Pokemon as "Sin".

    It all started when Mew was crucified in Babylon by a group of zealots, who then proceeded to sell her blood for a handful of silver coins. Their punishment came swiftly and brutally, and Babylon the first city of Man burned to the ground and that was that. But the grudge, the old anger, it was still there…. after centuries and centuries, the grudge was still there. And now it’s happening all over again. History repeats itself…only this time, all of humanity’s about to die out. For good.
    Quite interesting how Bablyon was the first city built and also the last city to fall down.

    Well, I will keep an eye of this fic. Can't wait for the next chapter!

    ~Good night, and good luck~


    Tumblr | FFnet | Author's Profile| Archive of Our Own | Banner: Umi Mizuno
    I'm still writing, but probably not much Pokemon stuff at the moment. HAM!


  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    3,049

    Default

    Thanks , Ejunknown. ^^; You're quite kind. And Wondrous Sableye, hello hello hello. D8 I fixed the errors you pointed out--I ALWAYS make that mistake with the "an" and vowels. @_@ Have some more beer. :3

    Bay--yes, Ho-oh is in quite a snit. Lugia's helping him out, too...but blame it all on Zeffy. She started the whole thing.

    As for Babylon, it was the first city of Man (in this fable) and Eden will be the last. And in between, there was the cities of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Orre, Shinou, etc. Henceforth, this story's title. Originally, it was just Aeon, but for some reason, the Ř wouldn't stay captialized unless it had the : attached (go figure) so I had to add on "End." Ick. XP

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    somewhere with my lulu <3
    Posts
    4,714

    Default

    :O!!!

    It's HEREE!!!!! *reads* *falls in love with*

    Well, I don't want to repeat anything else that's already been said, but hey, ^^; when its great, its great. <3 I absolutely loved it and I can't wait to read more.

    Speaking of the reference to a movie...I can't think of the movies title but something in this Prologue thingy reminds me of it. x_X GAH! I really want to remember...

    Oh well, it'll wait. But I know that I can't wait until the next chapter! YAY! *subscribes to thread*
    (image beautifully drawn by pixiv user id #45323)
    [IMG]http://i47.*******.com/34il6ah.png[/IMG]
    Lelouch is watching over all of us.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canalave City.
    Posts
    2,209

    Default

    *drops to the ground and spins in disfigured circles*

    =D

    Well...I must say, this is even better than Sin. The story started off on a strange note, and this is my own personal opinion, simply because I never read any kind of stories where the entire thing story begins with someone having a strong grip upon another's neck. Poor you. ;_; I hope you can still breathe. Anyways, once the details starting coming in as smoothly and fluidly as they did, it was a wonderful way to set things off. I was a dedicated reader of Were: Blood and Honey and so far, really, I haven't seen a comparison between it and this story. But in the end, fantastic start, wonderful title, and a promising future for this chaptered adventure.

    *looks down in cardboard boxes* ;_; I can't drink beer! ;_;
    ~ COMING SOON ~


    Shiftry leapt into the air, shrieking and roaring as she started glowing and absorbing the sun’s light. Leaves shifted and curled at the edges as footsteps sounded on the grass. Her eyes were wide open and crazed, glazed with a white radiance. A slim, dark figure spontaneously crossed overhead, elegant and mysterious as it disappeared within the rose-colored vortex. It all seemed like a medieval fantasy; only reality blended in to make it all seem practical. The new otherworldly essence drifted in, allowing the illumination to bless the woman and reveal herself to the world. Karen had arrived

  17. #17
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Now here, Nowhere
    Posts
    333

    Default

    ...So he didn't give up the final coin?

    Ho-oh’s angry.

    My fault.
    Yet left unexplained... graaah! So many setups for building up the anticipation...

    I'm kinda new here, and I'll probably go dig around the forums for your works long past, just because everyone here's sorta mentioning them!

    So, how often do you plan on updating this fic? From what I've read, you've already slaved through the majority of the chapters, and hopefully punctuality won't be a problem here.

    'Till next chapter!

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    3,049

    Default

    Mimori: Yay, you're here! Have a cardboard box. D: I'm glad you're enjoying it.

    Syra: Don't worry, the Pack will be back (Sahara, Dakota, the twins) as well as Akane--with 50% more vodka and lemony zest!

    Hahahabvc87: Yes, Linali still has the last silver coin--which Zeffy wants (or needs). Zeffy's got the rest. ^^ And yes, hopefully I've gotten good enough that Iceking doesn't need to go through my chapters with a fine-toothed comb to grab mistakes. *sweatdrops*

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Belo Horizonte, Brazil
    Posts
    155

    Default

    Well, if you're taking into account all the things that happened in Sin, looks like the beginning is the end of the beginning. Or something like that.

    Good work here, I liked the way it was told, with all the minute counting. It gives a sense of urgency. But why you defenestrated that many Pokes? The poor creatures. But maybe they had it coming *evilgrin*.

    Besides, it's good to hear about a certain psycho Paras being back. Does it have a Barrel of Mankeys included, or are they sold separately?

    And yeah, pass the booze. But I want my part on Diet Coke *burninates*
    Everyone and their granny is probably using the Shaymin avatar... not that I care, anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nightwish's The Fishmaster Misheard Lyrics
    Hard porn... Will find a whip

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Canalave City.
    Posts
    2,209

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiyohime View Post
    Syra: Don't worry, the Pack will be back (Sahara, Dakota, the twins) as well as Akane--with 50% more vodka and lemony zest!
    OH

    MY

    FREAKIN

    GOD.

    AKANE! DAKOTA! THE TWINS! SAHARA! *spins around* I loved the original gang, mainly because it was the first time I read anything from you and I instantly fell in love with them. Yes, I cannot wait for the next chapter! *drinks lemony zest and adds sprinkles of cat dust and catnip* O_+
    ~ COMING SOON ~


    Shiftry leapt into the air, shrieking and roaring as she started glowing and absorbing the sun’s light. Leaves shifted and curled at the edges as footsteps sounded on the grass. Her eyes were wide open and crazed, glazed with a white radiance. A slim, dark figure spontaneously crossed overhead, elegant and mysterious as it disappeared within the rose-colored vortex. It all seemed like a medieval fantasy; only reality blended in to make it all seem practical. The new otherworldly essence drifted in, allowing the illumination to bless the woman and reveal herself to the world. Karen had arrived

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    In my mind
    Posts
    122

    Default

    <-- multiply that by infinity

    YOU POSTED IT. And I finished reading Sin yesterday. ^^

    PROLOGUE ROCKED... except I miss Zeffy's crazed dance from Sin. That was insane and I loved it. :P

    ...not posting much 'cause it ROCKED MY SOUL. Or along those lines. :P

    *sits down and stares at former Scrap till she posts the first chapter*
    Sig is currently blank.

    ...because I haven't posted in months and have nothing to say.

    On another note, there's a slight chance I might be posting... eventually.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    south cali
    Posts
    302

    Default

    *does an 'on time' dance* ON TIME! ON TIME! Dadadada ON TIIIIME!!!

    I'm not, like, a week late for once. Uh, anyways, this totally caught me off guard. If my calendar is correct, it sure isn't September yet... but who's complaining? I mean seriously! This couldn't be a better day!

    Getting to tha point: Great prologue. Very, verrrry interesting imagery, with all the burning and pure carnage going on all over the place. I loved how you used the word 'holocaust' to describe the flaming... dealies- it just has so much imagery behind it that other words couldn't describe.

    Your writing style since Sin: Different! I can't put my finger on it, but there's a tiny change in your flow and word choice. And I like it. Sin's more drawn out pauses and well placed fragments have been replaced with this... I don't want to say simpler, but this more flowy structure. There's still the well-placed fragments, though- a device that you have always employed beautifully, I might add.

    For a prologue, this sure didn't tell us much, but I should have guessed that as soon as I read 'END' in the title. Makes sense. XD What else is brilliant is the use of that last paragraph or two to lay down the entrance to the first chapter. That's smart- keeps the plot in semi-order and the reader on track. Speaking of said order, I really like how you're starting at the end and making us guess... originality gets you brownie points. (Cookiemuffinbrownie points? XD)

    I have to say that I'm probably going to like the first chapter a ton more than the prologue, as we'll finally have some real characters' goins' ons'. (Whatever I meant by that.) And seeing how much I liked this prologue... well, lets just say that I'm gonna be here reading for a while. You got a reader to the end, Scr- GAH! Er, Kiyohime. Yeah, Kiy-o-hime. Kiyohime. (it's gonna take a while to get used to typing that. ^_^)

    So to wrap 'itall up, Quacka like. Continue. I will return. Verily.

    (Darn it, I have to bow to Lip now? Awwww! XDD)

    *tosses some burning cookiemuffinbrownies* Uhh, I would wait a couple minutes before eating those. Heh.

    le EDIT: Ooft, Yeah- I guess when I said 'first chapter', I meant not chronologically, but whatever is coming next. Yeah. Clar-if-ic-ation! Clar-if-ic-ation! *makes conga line*
    Last edited by Quackerdrill; 31st August 2006 at 6:00 AM.
    ***

    ~been writing: in (and around) old gyms

    ~been playing: 'wolfenstein: the new order'

    ~been reading: 'I want my MTV: the uncensored story of the music video revolution'- by rob tannenbaum and craig marks

    ~been listening: 'honeyblood' - honeyblood

    ***

    Xbox Live Gamertag: Quackerdrill

    PSN Name: Quackerdrill

    www.twitter.com/quackerdrill



    ~sig v.eight.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    3,049

    Default

    Mo Cuishle: Fear not, you'll have plenty of Diet Coke. Try eating it with Mentos. *evil giggle*

    And hello, Zephyr! So glad you read Sin...perfect timing. XD

    Quackerdrill: I'm quite, quite sorry....but the chapter about Linali's beginnings won't come...for...uh, quite a while. <<; But if you really would like to see it, I can mix and match to make it the first chapter since it doesn't matter whether they're in chronological order or not because they AREN'T in order anyway. XD But despite that, there has to be another "interlude" before the first chapter actually gets posted. Since the second "interlude" isn't a real chapter, it'll be here this week too as a treat.

    EDIT: Call me Scrap anyway--I'm changing it back later. There can only be one Scrap! >:0

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Adulthood!
    Posts
    6,407

    Default

    STEPHEN KING REFERENCE ALERT! The whole "pneuma leaves our soma and our saryx decays" is a shout out to the language of the Can Tak (spelling?) in Desperation. You can't hide these things from a Stephen King Fangirl
    I've been waiting for this for ages and it seems well worth the wait. Extra points for encompassing Sin (which I started and didn't finish because it dissapeared) and the story of Jesus. Plus I wish I had your writing talent
    Quote Originally Posted by Cenobitic View Post
    I thought you were straight, Kreis.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    3,049

    Default

    ATTACK OF THE STEPHEN KING FANGIRLS! :3 Course I love Stephen King, who doesn't? You win--you caught my tribute. ^^ I'd ask you about which books you've read and happily gab away about them with you, but I don't want to get kicked for off-topicness. XD

Page 1 of 24 1234511 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •