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Thread: The Weakest Link: Anime Special (revamped)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007

    Default The Weakest Link: Anime Special (revamped)

    Title: The Weakest Link: Anime Special
    Rating: PG
    Genre: Crossover, quiz and comedy
    Notes: I'm a big fan of the old British quiz show, The Weakest Link hosted by Anne Robinson. Her icy discipline persona with the combination of silly and funny answers. I've seen several fic versions of the show, but never been able to find one that was complete, so I thought I might give it a go.

        Spoiler:- The Contestants:

    The Weakest Link: Anime Special
    Round One

    I've quizzed over fifty thousand contestants over the years. Some were clever and some were stupid. Some would occasionally trip and fall flat on their faces, which is the best part of the job.

    I ended my contract four years ago, but for one night only, I decided to reprise my role as The Queen Of Mean for an animated spectacular. A rather nostalgic role if I do say so myself. They were very wise not to settle for an imitation.

    The eight contestants about to come on stage have all lead exciting lives but their upbringing is somewhat questionable. The land of the rising sun is known for it's crazy antics and interesting surroundings. I wonder how the team will fare in The Weakest Link, and how many of them have left their brains at home?

    They didn't know each other before the show, but one would think they had all been friends since high school with all the laughter in the room. The youngest contestant was even jumping on the coach. I can assure you that when one wants to become rich, they'll be ready to betray everyone. The contestants won't be friends for long.

    The head towards the studio and find the podium with their name on. I stand with my back facing the contestants and my eyes on the camera as they play the music. The lights come down on me, it's time to welcome the viewers onto the show.

    "Welcome to a special edition of The Weakest Link," I announced. "Welcome to The Weakest Link. Any of the eight players in the studio could win up to Ľ20,000,000. They don't know each other, however, if they want the prize money they have to work as a team. BUT seven of them will leave with nothing, as round by round, we lose the player voted the weakest link. Let's meet the team!"

    The first contestant was a small boy with a potty mouth. The lights brought the red in his top and dull yellow shorts. He held his hands up in the air and introduced himself. "I'm Shin-Chan!" the boy yelled. "And I'm a ladies man, from Japan." He can't be any older than five years old, but the audience roared with laughter. Personally, I failed to see any humour in children lacking disipline.

    The second contestant was a young brunette who appeared to be in her teens. It wouldn't take a rocket science to guess what her favourite colour. Anyone with impaired vision could easily mistake her with a candy floss. "I'm Kari and I'm part of a team called The Digidestined."

    "I'm Joey Wheeler and I'm a professional Dueller, and I am the strongest link." the third contestant announced. His voice was dripping in arrogance. I'm wondering where he bought the blue jacket from? It looks like tack brought from a charity shop.

    "I'm Hinata and I'm a mother to two gorgeous children." I've heard many things about the fourth contestant. Her marriage to the Seventh Hokage has made her a household name and a pantomime villain in some corners of the Internet. She's still wearing those awful oversized lilac jumpers.

    "I'm Luffy, captain of the Straw Hat Pirates and I will be The Pirate King." The fifth red contestant had a red sleeveless shirt with bright yellow buttons.

    "I'm Serena," the sixth contestant said. I wouldn't be surprised if she was feeling cold. Her skirt was so cold that you see the colour of her knickers matched the colour of her top. "I'm also known as Sailor Moon, and I'm proud to be a girl-gamer!"

    "I'm Dawn," said the seventh contestant. Her pink dress isn't that bad, well it was good enough for a ten-year-old. "I'm a pokemon co-ordinator from Sinnoh."

    Last but not least is a ginger dressed in black. And the only one in a kimono. "I'm Ichigo Kurosaki and I'm from Karakura Town." He didn't have much to say about himself. All sorts of people have come on my show including couples, puppets, celebrities, politicians and rappers. This has to be the most eclectic mix of contestants that I have ever met.

    "Now the rules, in each round the aim is to answer enough questions correctly to reach and bank your Ľ2,000,000 target within the time limit. The fastest way is to create a chain of eight correct answers within the time limit. Get your question wrong, then you break the chain and lose all the money in the chain. But, if you say, bank before a question is asked, the money is safe, however, you start a new chain from scratch. Remember team at the end of the round, only money that's been banked can be taken forward."

    It's pretty straight forward. The first round in particular has very easy questions so they should have no problem reaching the target. Let's hope that nobody struggles under the pressure.

    "The first round lasts for three minutes," I told the team. I could see the wide eyes and gulps already. "We'll start with the person who's name comes first alphabetically. That's you Dawn. Let's play The Weakest Link!"

    I turned my podium over to Dawn in time with the booming music. "The first question is for Ľ10,000." The whole room became silent and the lighting and sounds moved with my rhythm. "Start the clock! Dawn, where is Emperor Akihito's official residence?"

    Dawn responded in confidence with, "Tokyo Imperial Palace."

    "Correct. Ichigo which country is the capital of South Korea?"

    "It's Seoul."

    "Correct. Shin Chan, "Eh what's up doc?" is a catchphrase by which popular cartoon character?"

    "Bugs Bunny!" Shin Chan exclaimed with his right fist in the air.

    "Correct! Kari..."


    That's Ľ100,000 banked already. "In music, which j-pop singer collaborated with Fergie for the single, That Ain't Cool?"

    "Hmm... Koda Kumi?"

    "Correct." Jugding by her sigh of relief, it seemed to be a lucky guess. "Joey, in 2015 which Canadian singer released an album called Purpose?

    Joey leaned over his podium and snarled, "A douche bag."

    I shook my head. "No! Justin Beiber is the correct answer."

    "That what he is!" Joey yelled out.

    "Hinata, Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta is the full name of which pop singer?"

    "Lady Gaga."

    "Correct. Luffy, in bingo which number is commonly referred to as two fat ladies?"

    Luffy's eyes widened as he pondered for a few moments. "I don't know, is it 88?"

    "88 is the correct answer!" I confirmed. "Serena, complete the catchphrase. An apple a day..."

    "KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!" Serena replied with her index finger pointing to the ceiling.

    "Correct! Dawn, Idina Menzel voiced which character in the Disney film, Frozen?" Surely Dawn must know this one, I thought.

    "Queen Elsa."

    "Correct." As I turned to Ichigo, I had to resist the urge to smile. I'm surprised this type of question even made it into the mix. As long as Ichigo can get it right, that's all that matters. "Ichigo, what is the first line to Kelis' hit song, Milkshake?

    Ichigo pulled his face as he yelled, "MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD!"

    "Correct!" You can't knock him down for trying. " Shin Chan, The Netherlands were the first country to legalise what in 2001?"

    "Gay marriage!"

    I think we're going to get a lot of complaints from homophobic parents. Although it is the correct answer. As I turned over to Kari and banked for the second time. That's Ľ1,100,000 banked so far.

    "Zigzagoons are common pokemon from which region?" I asked.


    "Correct. Joey, how many corners does a cube have?"


    "Correct!" At least there's one bit of Maths that Joey knows about. "Hinata, what colour cats are considered good luck in Japan and The United Kingdom?"

    "Black cats."

    "Correct. Luffy, which pirate is the main protagonist in Pirates Of The Caribbean?"

    "Ah!" Luffy said. He pointed at me with a grin and said, "It's Captain James Hook."

    Everyone laughed at him. "No, Captain Jack Sparrow." Luffy fell onto the podium and buried his head in his hands. "Serena..."


    It really grinds my ears when people bank after the person before them got a question wrong. "Since 1974, a Christmas meal in Japan is typically bought from which American fast food chain?"

    "Oh!" Serena grinned. "I know this one. It's KFC."

    The lights flashed and the music ceased. "Time is up," I said. "Your answer was correct and in time. In that first round you banked a pathetic Ľ1,100,000. You had a chain of nine correct awnsers, so you could have easily reached and banked your Ľ2,000,000 target." Everybody looked disappointed. "Who is more of a bidoof then a mewtwo? Who is costing you money? Time to vote off the weakest link!"

    Kari is statistically the strongest link as got all her questions right and banked the money for the team. And we all knew that Luffy was the weakest link. Only one can win the money.t.. hings are going to turn nasty after the voting is over.

    "Voting over," I said. "Time to reveal who think was the weakest link?" Shin Chan voted for Ichigo; Luffy and Dawn voted for Joey; whilst everyone else voted for Luffy. "Now I think there's some of you that don't quite understand the rules of the game. You thought Ichigo was the weakest link did you Shin Chan?"

    "Yeah!" Shin Chan squealed. "Because he keeps stating at your boobs!"

    "What's your specialist subject, Shin Chan?" I asked.

    "Here's mine!" He pulled down his shorts and flashed his bottom in front of me and to the whole studio. Everyone gasped in horror and I turned away in disgust.

    "You can put it away now," I requested, and so he did as he was told. "What would your mother think if she saw you showing your bottom on television?"

    "What will mom say?" Shin Chan said whilst pulling up his shorts. "She won't be watching. She'll be watching Desperate Housewives and stuffing her face with chocolate."

    "What about your father?" I asked.

    "Oh he'll either be at the bar or the brothel."

    I turned over to Ichigo. "Do you have anything to add to that, Ichigo?"

    "I'd like to change my vote," Ichigo growled.

    "It's a bit late for that," I said. "Why Luffy?"

    "He was the only one in the round to get an answer wrong."

    "Joey got his question wrong too."

    "I think he should have been allowed," Ichigo replied. "It was a good answer as far as I'm concerned."

    I had enough of looking at Ichigo so I went to Joey. "So you've never heard of Justin Beiber then, Joey?"

    "I have!"

    "Then why didn't you answer the question correctly?"

    "I was trying to be clever."

    "It wasn't really," I informed him. "You cost the team money! Why are you getting rid of Luffy?"

    "He got the Jack Sparrow question wrong," he roared. "And everybody knows about Jack Sparrow. I love the films."

    "Why did you bank when there was nothing to bank?" I asked Serena.

    "Oh I don't know." Serena shrugged her shoulders. "Instinct I guess."

    "You're a big fan of food I see," I said, referring to the fact that she got her questions about food correctly. Serena didn't take it down too well. She gasped and held onto her slender figure trying to pinch the small amount of fat on her waist.

    "Are you trying to say I'm fat?" Serena asked me.

    "Not at all, but you got the question right about KFC being eaten to celebrate Christmas."

    "Oh... right."

    "Why Luffy?"

    "Well, nothing personal, he just got a question wrong."

    "Luffy," I announced. "The self-proclaimed pirate king who doesn't know the difference between Captain Hook and Captain Sparrow." Luffy's cheeks were red as he hung his head in shame. He was embarrassed, and so he should be. "With four votes you are the weakest link, goodbye!"
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 1st February 2016 at 11:43 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007


        Spoiler:- Progress So Far:

    Round Two

    The team could have won Ľ2,000,000. With Luffy out of the way, perhaps they might be able to reach that target. "Round two, seven of you left and we'll be taking ten seconds off the clock," I explained to the remaining seven contestants who all look like they've been seen a ghost. "We'll start with the strongest link from the last round, that's you, Kari! Let's play the weakest link."

    The lights shine on the contestants leaving the audience in darkness. The podium swerves over to Kari. "Start the clock! Kari, what film won an Oscar for Best Animated Feature in 2003?"

    "Spirited Away," Kari said with confidence on her face.

    "Correct! Joey, famous boxer, Little Mac became a playable character in which video game in 2014?"

    "Super Smash Brothers," Joey said without a flinch.

    "Correct. Hinata, Grand Central Terminal is located in where? New York or London?"

    Hinata seemed puzzled. Clearly, she's never been to either of those places. "New York?"

    "Correct. Serena, in Science, entomology is the study of what?" Little Miss Piggy's wide eyed face and large mouth was a particular sight to see.

    "Atoms?" Serena whispered in a feeble manner.

    "No, the correct answer is insects," I snapped. Perhaps that was a question too hard for a brain so small. "Dawn, how many pokemon were on the official national pokedex in 2001?

    Dawn nodded as she said, "251."

    To my surprise, she was correct. Perhaps Dawn is a little bit smarter than she looks. "Ichigo, Which American state is nearest to the former Soviet Union?"


    "Correct. Shin Chan..."

    "Bank!" Shin Chan screamed.

    That's a dismal Ľ50,000 in the bank. "Garampani Wildlife Sanctuary is located in which Indian City?"

    "FUCHSIA CITY!" Shin Chan yelled.

    "Assam!" I taunted with the correct answer. I wonder what kind of school Shin Chan went to if he thinks that Fuchsia City, a famous city for pokemon fans and in Kanto is located in India. "Kari, what does the 'c' stand for in The FFC?"


    "Correct. Joey, in food and drink, Harvey Wallbanger is a classic cocktail made with Galliano, orange juice and which other drink?"

    Joey grinned and nodded his head. "Vodka!"

    "Correct. Hinata, who played James Bond for the films Golden Eye, The World Is Not Enough and Die Another Day?"

    "Pierce Brosnan."

    "Correct. Serena, which reggae singing star died on 11th May 1981?"

    "Bob Marley?" Serena responded as if Bob Marley was the only reggae singer she knew.

    "Correct. Dawn, Diddy Kong is the nephew of which famous mountain gorilla? "

    "Donkey Kong!" Dawn exclaimed.

    "Correct, Ichigo..." Ichigo had banked before the question was asked. The total so far this round is Ľ505,000. With less than two minutes to go, the chances of them reaching the target decreases rapidly. "What T are people who live in a house paying rent to a landlord?"

    "A tenant," Ichigo said.

    "Correct. Shin Chan, what T is normally banned in hot springs and public baths?"

    "What P..." Shin Chan pondered and wrapped his small fingers around his chin.

    "She said T!" Joey yelled out.

    "Oh T?" Shin Chan exclaimed. "Tattoo!"

    "Correct. Kari, A Guru Is Born is a novel written by which TV personality?"

    "Takeshi Kitano," Kari smiled. She sighed in relief. She hasn't had a question wrong yet, but the game is still young.

    "Correct. Joey, how many wives did Henry VIII of England have?"

    "Six. "

    "Correct. Hinata, what pokemon can evolve into eight different pokemon?"


    "Correct. Serena , Olympia is the state capital of which American state?"

    Serena shrugged her shoulders and scratched the back of her head. "I really don't know that one. Florida?"

    "Washington," I told Serena. "Dawn, Kyudo is a form of which sport?"

    "Pokemon Soccer?"

    "The correct answer is archery." I hope Serena hasn't started a trend of getting questions wrong. "Ichigo, which vegetable has varieties called Ormskirk and Spring Hero?"


    "Correct. Shin Chan, Paedocypris is claimed to be the world's smallest what?"

    "Paedophile ring," Shin Chan snapped. Everyone in the whole studio was memorised by the content coming out of this young boy's mouth.

    "Oh man!" Joey roared. "What sort of question is that?"

    "Joey be quiet!" I demanded. His voice was really beginning to grate my ears. "And the correct answer, Shin Chan is fish. Kari, until 2009, which film was the highest grossing film of all time?"
    Kari answered correctly again with, "Titanic."

    "Correct. Joey you can now speak, but I only want to hear the correct answer. Which City do Brummies come from?"


    "I can't accept Brummyland. The correct answer is Birmingham. Hinata, what V is a magazine dedicated to fashion?"

    "Sorry, I don't know," Hinata said. At least Hinata was honest and didn't pretend to know the answer with a gloriously stupid answer.

    "It's Vouge, Hinata." With that odious sweater, it's not surprising that she knows nothing about fashion. "Serena, What nationality was Saint Paul of Tarsus?"


    "TURKISH! Dawn, what is the S.I. unit of time?"


    "Correct. Ichigo, in Greek mythology, a Hamadryad spirit guards what?"


    "Correct," I replied. "Shin Chan in maths what is the first prime number?"



    "Bank!" Kari yelled to the sound of the klaxton was first. It indicated to the contestants that time was up. "Time is up. And because Kari's bank was out of time you only got Ľ505,000. Who here is a demon in disguise? Who needs eliminating? Be ruthless as you vote off the weakest link."

    Ichigo was the strongest link as he got all his questions right and banked the most money for the team. Serena is the weakest link as she got the most questions wrong. But will the players realise this when casting their vote.

    "Voting over!" I announced with my hands behind my back. "Time to reveal who you think is The Weakest Link."

    Once again, Shin Chan had voted for Ichigo. Kari, Joey and Dawn voted for Serena and Hinata, Serena and Ichigo voted for Shin Chan. "Well, we have a two-way tie. Shin Chan and Serena have three votes each. Do you have a boyfriend, Kari?"

    "I have boys that are friends," Kari giggled with red cheeks and a small smile.

    I would take that as a no. "So why do you want to get rid of Serena?"

    "She keeps getting her questions wrong."

    "Are you married Serena?"

    "Yes," Serena replied. "I've been married for a couple years and have a daughter."

    "What does your husband call you?"

    "He calls me by my name of course."

    "Of course," I said knowing that she was lying. "So tell me Meatball Head, why are you getting rid of the baby of the group?" They don't call me the Queen of Mean for nothing, ya know?

    "Because it's way past his bedtime."

    "Well when the votes are tied, the strongest link casts the deciding vote. And the strongest link is Ichigo. So do you still want to get rid of the brat or change your mind and get rid of Meatball Head?"

    "I'm sticking to my original vote," Ichigo quickly said.

    "Statistically Serena was the worst player," I confirmed. "But it's votes that count, and Ichigo has had enough of Shin Chan. It's time for you to go home. With three votes, you are the weakest link, goodbye."

    Shin Chan jumped of his podium and did the walk of shame in his birthday suit as he threw his clothing on the top of my head. I shook his sweaty clothing off and decided to let the security deal with him. What a state the youth are in today.
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 29th January 2016 at 9:36 PM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007


        Spoiler:- Progress:

    Round Three

    "Round Three and out of a possible Ľ4,000,000, you've banked a disappointing Ľ1,605,000," I sneered at the team and their apparent lack of general knowledge. "Only six players left and I'm taking another ten seconds off the clock."

    "This is getting really harsh," Joey roared at the top of his voice. "How are we meant to reach the target if we keep losing time?"

    I ignored him. "We'll start with the strongest link from the last round, that's you, Ichigo. Let's play The Weakest Link. Start the clock!" The round had started, so any disturbances from Joey would lead to very hefty penalties. If Joey wasn't careful, he could be the next one to be voted off. "Ichigo, Choi Min-ho is a singer in which Korean group?"

    "DJ DOC," Ichigo responded with a stern look on his face and his arms folded.

    I shook my head. "No it's SHINee." I sway my podium over to Kari who had her jaw resting on her chest. "Kari, which wife of English monarch, King Henry Vlll was imprisoned in the Tower of London in 1536?"

    "Anne Boleyn." Kari's a girl who loves her English literature and history. She would have been foolish to get that wrong.

    "Correct. Joey, Miami Heat is a US Team that play which sport?"


    "Correct. Hinata, In South Park, what is Cartman's first name?"


    "Correct." I was impressed that a girl who knew nothing about fashion knew South Park. "Serena, which famous layer was the mentor of Apollo Justice?"

    "Phoenix Wright!" Serena said.

    "Correct. Dawn, Kalos is a pokemon region in which European Country?"


    "France!" The team had just lost Ľ250,000 with that answer, and Amsterdam isn't even a country. Perhaps pokemon trainers should stay at school for longer. "Ichigo, who is the current president of Russia?"

    "Vladmir Putin."

    "Correct. Kari, what area in Japan does Professor Oak live in? Kanto or Johto?"


    "Correct. Joey, Beyblade Champion, Takao Kinomiya is also known by what other name?"

    "Tyson Granger."

    "Correct. Hinata, in entertainment,who in My Little Pony has the element of kindness?"


    "Correct. Serena..." She banked before the question and scored Ľ250,000 for the team. "The late Satoru Iwata was a president for which gaming company?"


    "CORRECT!" I gasped, truly astounded that my favourite Little Miss Piggy was able to not only bank money for the team but also get an answer correctly. "Dawn, Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey are known as the seven what?"

    Dawn flicked her hair and sighed with her hands resting on the podium. She looked as if she had given up. "Seas of Rhye?"

    "DWARFS!" I yelled. Ľ10,000 had well and truly gone down the drain. "Ichigo, in children's literature, Draco Malfoy is the arch enemy of who?"

    "Harry Potter."

    "Correct. Kari, which Greek historian is regarded as the Father of History?"


    "Correct. Joey, Kiss From A Rose, Killer and Crazy are hit songs from which singer?"


    "Correct." I thought my eyes were deceiving me when I saw the next question for Hinata. If Hinata gets this question wrong, then there is truly no hope for humanity. "Hinata what is the name of the seventh hokage?"

    Hinata blushed as the audience chuckled along with her. "Naruto Uzamaki."

    "Correct." The questions are chosen at random. Hinata was just lucky that it was about her husband. "Serena, how many fundamental forces of nature are there? Four or two?"


    "Correct. Dawn how many sides does a heptagon have?"


    "THAT IS CORRECT DAWN!" Even the crowd was cheering when she got a right answer. Before I even turned my podium and even said his name, Ichigo managed to bank Ľ1,000,000 before the klaxon. "Time is up and you've banked Ľ1,250,000, If you had plucked the courage to get rid of the idiots then you could have won Ľ2,000,000." I folded my arms and raised my voice. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the dumbest of you all? Who's as useful as a water park in Hoenn? Time to vote off the weakest link."

    In a reversal of fortune, Serena had gone from the weakest link in the last round to the strongest link, having gotten all her questions right and banking money for the team. Poor little Dawn was the weakest link as she got the most questions wrong. But how will the votes go?

    "Pens down!" I demanded. "It's time to reveal who you think was the weakest link." Kari and Dawn had voted for Ichigo, whilst everyone else had voted for Dawn. I turned over to Hinata, as I had an urge to talk to her. "Hinata are you jealous because Dawn's prettier than you and has better taste in fashion?"

    The audience roared with laughter as Hinata gently shook her head. "No, it's because she lost the most money for the team."

    "So Kari, what's Ichigo done to upset you?"

    "Uhm... nothing," Kari closed her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. "I just think that not knowing who SHINee is, is an ultimate sin."

    "He gets one question wrong and you try to gang up on him," I confronted her. "You're not going to get any answers wrong are you?"

    "I hope not."

    "So Meatball-Head," I turned over to Serena. "That was a pretty decent round for you wasn't it? Is food and gaming the only thing you know about?"

    "Not really."

    "Well you didn't do very well at school, did you?" I scolded. "You always got a big fat F in your tests. Are you jealous of her hair too?"

    "No, I'm not jealous!" Serena protested. "She was clearly the weakest link."

    I turned to Dawn with my hands behind my back. "Dawn from Sinnoh!" I announced, "who thinks Amsterdam is a country." Dawn buried her head in her hands for some brief moments, then swung her head forward. There was no escape from the walk of shame. "The team might be jealous of your hair, dress and looks, but certainly not your intelligence."

    "I may have been the worst player," Dawn admitted. "But I did some pretty hard questions. Serena, who's a big gamer got a question about Nintendo and Hinata got a question about her own husband!"

    "Perhaps you need a bigger brain," I suggested. "With four votes, you are the weakest link, GOODBYE!"

    Dawn left the studio with a big round of applause from the audience and utter darkness. She tripped over from the pink high heels clutching her feet. With her down, it's time to start round four.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007


        Spoiler:- Progress:

    Round Four

    "We're in the fourth round and your total so far is Ľ2,855,000," I announced. "But you could've had Ľ6,000,000 by now. Another ten seconds of the time ." I paid the most attention on Serena. "As dumb as you are, Meatball-Head, you were the strongest link in the last round, and you will anwser first."

    Serena's eyes lit up. "Oh that's very good."

    I quickly turned my head towards the remaining five players and said, "Let's play the weakest link! Start the clock! Serena how many bullet trains are there?"


    "No, Eight. Ichigo, what is the name of Hello Kitty's twin sister?"

    Ichigo squinted his eyes and his cheeks wrinkled. Shrugging his shoulders, he admitted defeat the moment he said, "Pass."

    "Mimmy is the correct answer." I should have known better to expect Ichigo to know that. "Kari, what was the first airport to be built on water?"

    "Kansai International Airport."

    "Correct. Joey, what I is the art of flower arranging?" It seems the match is doomed before it could even start.

    "I don't know!"

    "Ikebana!" They can say goodbye to ten thousand yen. "Hinata, what flower represents the imperial family of Japan?"


    "Correct. Serena, in maths what is 7 squared?"


    I shook my head. "Nope: 49! Ichigo what kind of festival is a Hina Matsuri."

    "Uhh.. a wedding festival."

    "It's a doll festival, Ichigo." I sneered. It's all falling apart for Ichigo here. "Kari, in art, what does ukiyo-e involve?"

    "Woodblock prints."

    "Correct, Joey..." he banked a pathetic Ľ10,000 for the team. "Who created the manga series, Ikki Tousen?"

    "UHM... YUGI MOTOU!" Joey yelled out his best friend's name. I had no idea Yugi Motou wrote manga. I must enquire about it when the round is over. "No, Yuji Shiozaki. Hinata, what country does the band, Rammstein come from?"


    "No, Germany." For goodness sake, they're never going to get anymore money at this rate. "Ichigo, what is the world's most spoken language?"


    "Chinese! Kari, What creature has the worlds shortest sperm?"

    "WHAT!" Joey yelled through the studio. A few in the audience were chuckling, but none laughed harder than Kari. Joey continued to chat away. "I'm glad we voted Shin Chan off when we did. This question would have sent him hyper."

    "Joey, be quiet!" I requested. "I need an answer Kari, I can't accept foolish giggling."

    "Ratatta?" Kari didn't seem to take the question seriously. I couldn't help but think what a bunch of immature contestants.

    "Hippopotamus." It did seem that Kari was the only one getting any questions right, but not anymore. With only one minute to go, the balance is looking pitiful. "Joey..."

    "NO WAY!" Joey yelled. He was still amazed at the thought that a hippopotamus has the world's smallest sperm.
    "NOW CONCENTRATE!" I was beginning to feel like a teacher with a roudy class. " Kingfisher lager originated from which country?"


    "CORRECT JOEY!" He is no longer the weakest link, statistically now. Hinata, In an authentic Chinese meal what is served last?"


    "Correct," Two correct answers in a row is a rarity in this round. "Serena, Topolino is the italian name for which disney character? Mickey Mouse or Minnie Mouse?"

    "Mickey Mouse," Serena smiled.

    "Correct!" If they had got the questions right earlier, then they could have had an actual chance of reaching their targer. But with fifteen seconds left, it seemed very unlikely. "Ichigo what p is flour made with cornmeal?"


    "Correct. Kari..."


    The eerie jingle had rung symboling that the round was over. "Time is up! That was a truly terrible round team." I started to speak more slower and clearly so they could all understand even the bimbo like Serena and Joey. "Out of a possible Ľ2,000,000... you banked a disgraceful Ľ260,000. Who is least likely to raise the bank balance? Who's the demon that needs to be destroyed? Who's cards are trapped in the graveyard. Time to vote off the weakest link."

    Kari remains the strongest link as she got the most questions right. Now there are three weakest links in this round; Serena, Joey and Ichigo who only got one question right each. Statistically Serena was the real weakest link as she lost the most money and has had many bad rounds. But will they get rid of Serena?
    "Voting over," I announced. "Pens down. Time to reveal who you think is the weakest link." One by one they had all voted for Ichigo and whilst Ichigo was the only one wise enough to vote off Serena. I was straight to the point when I confronted Joey about getting his questions wrong. "So Joey, I didn't know your friend, Yugi Motou was a writer."

    Joey made a comeback with, "You learn something new everyday."

    "You don't look like a man who reads much," I told him. "So what sort of things does Yugi write about? Not about panties and breasts I hope."

    "No," Joey shook his head as he spoke. "Advice for aspiring duelists, his autobiography and other things."

    "But not Ikki Tousen."

    "No," Joey admitted. "But his name was the first to come into my head."

    If I had a penny for the amount of times someone has said that sentence on the show, I would have been a billionaire by now. "Why Ichigo?"

    "He's done pretty well up till now," Joey admitted. "But I think he got more questions wrong then anyone else so he's the weakest link."

    "Have you read Yugi Motou's books Kari?"

    "No, not yet."

    I'm not surprised. "Why Ichigo?"

    "I think he's slowly been falling apart," Kari admitted. "I never had anything to bank at all. I think he was the weakest link."

    "He wasn't the weakest link," I announced. "Was he, Serena?"

    "I think it was a bad round for many of us," Serena said, aimlessly trying not to admit that she was the weakest link.

    "You, Joey and Ichigo only got one right," I confirmed. "But you Serena, were truly terrible for knowing nothing about bullet trains and nothing about maths."

    "And how am I suppose to know about flower arranging?" Joey yelled across the studio as if he was in a football pitch.

    "And I didn't know Hello Kitty had a twin sister," Ichigo muttered.

    "You don't know much do you?" I asked. "Ichigo, it's time for you to go back to fighting hollows. " Ichigo knew that there was no need to utter another word as he dropped his board. "With four votes, you are the weakest link, goodbye!"

    Ichigo took the walk of shame with dignity, I must admit. As the lights dimmed on him, he kept his chin up as he left the studio for his final interview behind the scenes. There was only four contestants left.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2007


        Spoiler:- Progress:

    Round Five

    So half of the contestants are gone and they've put their country to shame already. "Round Five and so far you've banked Ľ3,115,000." I had to say it, and I'm not apologising. "And if we had any decent brains in the studio, then you could have had much more. We've got; Kari, who doesn't have boyfriend, Joey the idiot, Meatball-head who has no life, and Hinata, the frumpy mummy."

    The contestants gave me some blank stares. "Another ten seconds coming off the time. We'll start with the strongest link from the last round. That's you, Kari, let's play the weakest link. Start the clock!"

    The round has officially began with the sound of the klaxon. "Kari, Dahlia is a 1996 album from which heavy metal group?"

    "X Japan," Kari responded.

    "Correct!" Not bad for a loner. "Joey, in entertainment, which family did the character Lurch work for?"

    Joey blinked and said, "The Royal Family."

    "No, the Addams family," I roared. Joey leaned against the podium and covered his face with his hands. "Hinata, the word ovine describes characteristics from which animal?"


    "Sheep! But I'll accept mareep." Because mareep is an ovine pokemon. "Serena, Who wrote the book Catch-22?"

    "Charles Dickens."

    "No, Joseph Heller." Clearly, Serena doesn't read books. "Kari, Madame de Pompadour was the mistress of which king?"

    "Louis VX."

    "Correct. Joey, Charlie Simpson, Matt Willis and James Bourne are members of which british group?"


    "Correct. Hinata, Port Said is in which North African country?"


    "Correct. Serena, Gaming duo, Nana and Popo are better known as who?"


    "Correct!" There was no need to shout. "Kari..."


    That was Ľ250,000 safe in the bank balance. "Tarja Taruren was fired from which band in 2005?"

    "I don't know."

    "Nightwish. Joey, which American twins are members of the band, Good Charlotte?"

    "Mary-Kate and Ashley!"

    "No, Benji and Joel Madden. Hinata, what is the name of Moe's pet cat in the cartoon show The Simpsons?"

    "Mr Snookums."

    "Correct. Serena, What type of creature is a dugite?"

    "A pokemon."

    "A snake. Kari, What type of animal is a kolinsky?


    "Correct. Joey, which British comedian features in the video game Grand Theft Auto IV?"

    "Ricky Gervais."

    "Correct. Hinata, What is the capital of the Indian state Rajasthan?"


    "Correct. Serena, a veronique dish is garnished with which fruit?"


    "No grapes. Kari, which city hosted the 1900 Summer Olympics?"


    "Correct! Joey, Saarland is an area of which..." The lights flashed around the studio as the loud jingle rang. "Time is up and I cannot complete the question. " I folded my arms. "You banked Ľ250,000 out of a possible two million yen." My arms returned to my side as Kari and Joey exchanged dirty looks.

    "That money will go through to the next round, but one of you will not. Who's deck has entered the graveyard? Who's got a black spear in their back? I urge you to eliminate the one costing you money." Not that they'll listen. "Time to vote off the weakest link."

    Not much has changed, Kari is the strongest link for the third time. Serena is also the weakest link for the third time. Will either of them survive the votes? Who knows? The statistics don't mean anything: it's votes that count.

    "Okay team," I said. "Voting is over. Time to reveal who you think is the weakest link." Kari and Serena had voted for Joey. Joey and Hinata had voted for Kari. Once again, Serena had gotten away with being voted off. "We have a tie team, Kari and Joey have two votes each." The first person I went to was the last man remaining. "Joey, what's Kari done to upset you?"

    "Because Kari's a threat," Joey confessed. "She's only had two questions wrong in the entire game and has been the strongest link so many times. She's too good to be here. "

    "Is there any beginning to your talents, Joey?"I asked. "Do you wish you were smarter?"

    "I'm happy as I am," Joey responded. "Also Kari reminds me of my mom."

    "Thanks for that Joey!" Kari snapped with her fingernails digging to her board.

    "I didn't mean it in a bad way."

    "Now we know why you're single," I confirmed. He's just another boy who's missing his mother. I taught a few lessons to several of those contestants both in the UK and some of the big boys in the states. "Hinata, why Kari?"

    "She said 'I don't know' a few times," Hinata responded.

    "Kari only said it the once," I confirmed. "It looks to me as if you're voting off your biggest rival."

    "Meatball head, why Joey?"

    Serena screamed at the top of her voice. "Because I want to win!"

    "Well, when the votes are tied, the strongest link gets to cast the deciding vote, and the strongest link is Kari!"

    "Yes!" Kari raised her first in the air whilst Joey leaned against the podium. He knew his game was over. "I think I'll get rid of Joey," Kari announced.

    "Meanwhile, nobody on the team noticed who was the weakest link," I announced. "Did they, Meatball-head?"

    "I guess not," Serena said whilst her cheeks glowed red.

    "Joey, you've delighted us for long enough!"

    "Thank you, Anne."

    "Since Kari's had enough of you and with two votes you are the weakest link, goodbye!"

    Joey was the last man to take the walk of shame, but we have three girls left, and I wouldn't describe either of them as ladies. Good riddance to him. It felt good to tell him that he was the weakest link.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007


        Spoiler:- Progress So Far:
    Round Six

    "Round six and your total so far is Ľ3,210,000." We're getting close to the end of the show. It won't be long till I can put my feet up and enjoy a nice hot cup of tea and perhaps a shopping trip. "Three of you left and another ten seconds coming off the time. We'll start with the strongest link from the last round, that's you Kari. Let's play the weakest link. Start the clock. Kari, which former Japanese porn star was known as the AV Queen?"

    "Sakura Haruno?"

    "No, Yuri Komuro," I said. Hinata gasped in what I could only describe as sheer horror. One would think that Kari was spitting out foul language. "Hinata, What is the national flower of Scotland?"

    I shook my head. "Thistles. Serena, Josiah Tulkinghorn is a lawyer in which novel by Charles Dickens?"

    Serena threw her hands in the air. "NO IDEA!"

    "Even Bleak House, Serena!" I hissed. This round is a one way ticket to a car crash. "Kari, Dimanche is French for which day of the week?"


    "Correct. Hinata, noodling is the Australian term for mining which gemstone?"


    "No, Opals." That's money down the drain. "Serena, what C is the eating of human flesh by another human being?"

    "EWW! That's gross."

    As right as she is, I can't accept her answer. "CANNIBALISM! Kari, in the Harry Potter books what was the name of Harry Potter's pet owl?"


    "CORRECT!" Every correct answer was a shock as the contestants are performing so poorly in this round. "Hinata, Gephyrophobia is the fear of what?"

    "Pass." Hinata quickly shook her head.

    "Nope: Bridges. Serena, King Richard III was the last of the Plantagenet dynasty and last king of which royal house?"

    Serena stumbled. "I know this one..."

    "Is that your answer?" I asked. We only had thirty seconds left on the clock.

    "House of York!"

    "Correct! Kari, how many legs does a ladybird have?"


    "Correct. Hinata, A Skipjack is which type of fish?"


    "TUNA!" I yelled over the audience's chuckling. "Serena, what does the M in MIDAS stand for?"

    The sound of the klaxon rang and the lights swirled around the studio. It was the end of the round, and it was too late to add to the bank balance and for Serena to answer.

    "Time is up and the correct answer is missile. In that round you banked absolutely nothing." Everyone seemed to think that it was hilarious. They claim that the weakest links are gone and still the bank balance is low. I don't know what happened to them, but I can honestly say that that round was a train crash. A true disaster to end all disasters. They might still be able to redeem themselves. "In round seven you get the chance to treble what you bank, but if you want the benefits you to do three simple things. First you need to get the questions right, secondly you have to bank, and third you need to have the courage to vote off the weakest link."

    Kari truly slipped up in that round, but she was still the strongest link. Hinata was statically the weakest link for getting all her questions wrong. Like I said before, it's votes that count.

    "Okay, voting over," I said. "Time to reveal who you think is the weakest link." Kari voted for Hinata whilst the other girls had voted for Kari. I noticed that Hinata's cheeks were red and her fights were tightly clenched. "So Hinata, what's Kari done to upset you?"

    "Her incorrect answer implies that Sakura Haruno is a porn star," Hinata responded with a very serious tone. "She's a very good friend of mine and she dosen't deserve half the hate that she gets. Kari is a very nice person, she just needs to be educated a bit more."

    "Are you sure that it's not jealously?"

    "No way!"

    "Not even a little bit?" I asked. "Did you really think that Kari was the worst player?"


    "Wrong," I declared. "At least Kari got some of her questions right. You failed to answer a single question correctly."

    "I'll fix that in the next round."

    "Meat-ball head," I turned to Serena who seemed to be smiling. "What's with the smirk on your chubby face?"

    "My face isn't chubby!"

    "What are you also known as?"

    "Sailor Moon! In the name of the moon, I shall punish you, Ann Robinson."

    "What's your excuse for voting off the strongest link?"

    "Cause I thought she was the weakest link," Serena persisted.

    "Are you Sailor Coward?"

    "Kari, what you been up to since leaving school?" I asked.

    "I'm training to be a teacher."

    "For what sort of school?"

    "Elementary school."

    "God help us," I announced. "How does it feel to have two mothers gang up on you?"

    "Hurtful," Kari replied but I sensed sarcasm in those crocodile tears. "Because I have a little boy."

    "Before you go, I want you to do me a favour?" I asked Kari.

    "What would that be?" Kari said, giggling away.

    "I want you to sing the digimon song."

    "Oh?" Kari said. It will come in really useful when she becomes a teacher. She began to clap her hands and start singing. "Digimon! Digital monsters are the champions." It didn't take long before Serena and the audience began to sing along. Even Hinata was clapping her hands.

    "Fighting evil by moonlight!" Serena sung. Everyone started to join in and stop singing the silly digimon theme song. Serena's tune is just as stupid. "Winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight..." Serena stopped singing when I glared at her.

    "Kari, you are the weakest link, goodbye!"
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 22nd February 2016 at 8:20 PM.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2007


        Spoiler:- Progress So Far:

    Round Seven
    "Round Seven, and Ľ3,210,000 banked so far. Just the two of you left, there's only ninety seconds on the clock. But, whatever you win in this round will be trebled and added to your total funds from the previous round."
    I'm only sorry that I can't make the questions any easier for them. Hinata seems to be distant as she lowered her head. Perhaps she's starting to regret her vote. "So Dumb and Dumber, there's Ľ6,000,000 to be won in this round. You've voted off the strongest link in the last round, so we'll start with the second strongest, that's you, Serena. Let's play the weakest link."

    Despite the small time limit, it is possible to reach the target. If by any chance they miraculously produce some working brain cells and answer the questions correctly then they should be able to do it. They could have done it several times already if it weren't for their slacking off.

    "Start the clock. Serena in entertainment, Yellow is a 2016 album from which pop group?"

    I had to blink twice as her answer matched what was on my screen. "Correct. Hinata, the Great Victorian Desert is located in which country?"

    "Australia," Hinata responded.

    "Correct. Serena, who wrote the book, Nineteen Eighty Four?"

    "George Orwell!"

    "Correct." I'm amazed that Serena knew that question. "Hinata, The Biro brothers invented which writing tool."

    "The ballpoint pen."

    "Correct. Serena, what R is a collision between fast neutrons and nitrogen nuclei?"

    "Radiocarbon," Serena said with confidence. Looks like these two are fighting back with a vengeance. It would be a shame if one of them slipped up and lost all the money they worked so hard to raise.

    "...that's correct." See, they can get questions right if they concentrate. "Hinata, which scientist discovered the radioactive element radium?"

    "Marie Curie."

    "Correct. Serena, Who was the first Indian to win the World Amateur Billiards title?"

    "Wilson Jones."

    "Correct! Hinata, in what field is the B. C. Roy Award is given to?"


    "Correct." Eight correct answers in a row and only thirty seconds to go. I hope they've been keeping count of how many questions they've had. "Serena..."

    Serena took a deep breath and yelled, "Bank!"

    The round was over and the audience clapped. I folded my arms. "Well, well, well, you've reached and banked your Ľ2,000,000 target within the time limit. Which we will treble and add to your score from the previous rounds. That means today's prize money is Ľ9,210,000."

    "Yahoo!" Serena jumped off her podium and gave Hinata a high five. "We've done it! We are awesome."

    "May I remind you that only one of you can take the money away." I reminded the team. Serena's cheeriness soon faded into a strop. "So Serena, get back to your podium, and so that you can play against each other head to head. I will ask alternate questions, best of five. Whoever answers the most correct answers wins, it's as easy at that. If there's a tie after five, we'll go for sudden death until we have a winner. So Serena and Hinata for Ľ9,210,000, let's play the weakest link."

    Before the head-head started, Serena and Hinata were moved into the middle podiums. All the names of the eliminated contestants on the podiums had been wiped off. All the lights were out and only shined to me and the remaining contestants. The more isolated they feel, the better, it keeps everyone on the edge of their seats.
    "Serena as the strongest link in the last round, you get the choice of how goes first."


    "Serena, which planet has the highest mountains: Earth or Mars?"

    "That is the correct answer. Hinata, what are the small indentations on a golf ball called?"


    "That is the correct answer," I confirmed. "Serena, which city has the largest population?"

    "Largest population..." Serena pondered. "Beijing is pretty crowded, then again so is London." Serena turned to Hinata. "Which one would you go for Hinata?"

    "Tokyo?" Hinata whispered as shrugged her shoulders.

    "Of course," Serena said. "Tokyo is always is crowded. I'm going for Tokyo."

    "Since you're a meatball-head, the fact that Hinata gave you the right answer, when you should have got it on your own, we're going to allow." I hissed. "Hinata, which late singer was known as the Godfather of Soul?"

    Hinata quickly responded with, "James Brown."

    "That is the correct answer. Serena, which country has the world's tallest building?"

    "USA!" Serena screeched.

    "No," I snapped. "The correct answer is Dubai."

    "No way!" Serena screeched. "New York is full of towers."

    "Hinata, what is the name of the yellow Telly Tubby in the children's show, The Teletubbies?" British viewers would be screaming the answer through their screens, but for a japanese person like Hinata, this is rocket science.

    "I only the name of one of then," Hinata admitted. "I'll have to go with Poe."

    I shook my head. "The correct answer was La La. Serena, what is Tiger Wood's first name?"

    Serena squinted her face. "Tiger of course."

    "The correct answer is Eldrick," I confirmed. I don't think she understood the question, but never mind. "Hinata, who is currently the richest man in the world?"

    "Bill Gates."

    "That is the correct answer." I turned to Serena and said, "Serena, you need to get this question right to stay in the game. In which country is the world's largest McDonalds Restaurant?"

    "I remember going to this one," Serena said. "It's in China."

    "That is the correct answer." I announced. "That means Hinata if you get this question right, then you've won. Triskadekaphobia is a fear of which number?"

    "Thirteen?" Hinata responded.

    "That's correct."

    "Yay!" Serena cried out. "Well done, Hinata."

    "That means Hinata, you're today's strongest link and you go away with Ľ9,210,000." With someone like Serena in the head-to-head, it shouldn't have been that hard to beat her. "What are you going to do with the money?"

    "I'm going to share the money with all the contestants."

    "Thank you!" Serena yelled. She went out and gave her new best friend a hug.

    "Okay then that means everyone is going away with Ľ1,151,250." That's roughly Ł7000 in British money. "Congratulations, you all leave with something." I turned towards the camera and said with a smile on my face, "You've been watching the weakest link." I winked as I said my final word. "...goodbye."

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