Okay, Psi, I wrote it. =P And here it is finished! OMG! =O
Well...this is just about the biggest piece of crack I've ever written, thanks to PsiUmbreon, who made up the ship and asked me to write it for him. =P I'm not all too skilled with major crack, so, go easy. ;;
But anyway, this is Djboutishipping, the romance between Socrates, Jigglypuff, and a roll of paper towel. >.< Oh god...
I'm here proving I actually will write this (at five Word pages), so...yeah. Please review if you read.
Enjoy though. ^^
The scientist looked around for the pink critter. His glasses flashed as they reflected the artificial lights of the machinery surrounding him, his boss, and the rest of the crew. He held his clipboard firmly becoming nervous. It was his job to keep an eye on their fluffy specimen and now the little devil had gone missing…again.
“Dr. Truman? Where is it? We can’t keep waiting,” his boss asked sternly, yet calmly.
Truman wasn’t listening all that much as he tried to call it, “Here, Jigglypuff…”
There was a rustling behind them and one of the female scientists turned around.
“I think I know where it is,” she said and passed through the plastic door into a kitchen area.
She checked the fridge first, but the big-eyed critter was no where to be found. She then turned toward the paper towel dispenser and low and behold, Jigglypuff sat clutching the roll of highly absorbent paper. The woman shook her head and then grabbed the now occupied creature. She then turned back to the testing room to face the rest of the crew. She smirked at Truman.
“Ah, playing with the paper towel again,” he murmured, though loud enough for the others to hear.
He figured the statement would make it seem like that was the next place he would have checked. Nevertheless, the team started preparing again for their goal.
“We’ve finally done it!” yelped the head scientist, “We’ve finally built a working time machine! One that will transport matter to…anytime we choose!”
He was giddy with excitement and the other scientists that surrounded him smiled and nodded. Truman placed Jigglypuff on the stand inside the machine’s sleek capsule. The floor the pink Pokemon stood on lit up in a fluorescent yellow-green, as did a few lights across the capsule’s metal shell. The giddy, head scientist then attached a waste-band around Jigglypuff’s body. The center of the belt-like contraption glowed red and beeped a few times before becoming comfortable with its new home. For once, Jigglypuff shifted its wide eyes away from Paper Towel and over to something else, namely the device that had been strapped to it.
“Jiggly?” it asked.
“This is a type of communicator,” the head scientist told the rest of his colleagues, “It will help us stay in contact with Jigglypuff as it travels through time. It will also be the “ticket home”.”
He had raised his hands and made the quotation signs, as any nerd would to try and be funny. Jigglypuff’s attention was quickly snatched up again by Paper Towel and its soft, cylinder shape.
As it nuzzled its love interest of the moment, Truman shouted, “All to safety spots!”
He pushed a button and the steel doors to the capsule closed Jigglypuff and Paper Towel Roll inside.
“Now, Truman! The energy’s at its peak!” the head scientist cried.
“See ya, Jiggy,” Truman said, with no remorse whatsoever.
With the pull and down of a large switch, there was a loud spark, a crash-like sound, and then smoke everywhere. The capsule opened and there lay nothing.
“God speed, Jigglypuff!” the head scientist saluted.
There was a strange chirping from a bird far off. Jigglypuff couldn’t recognize the noise as it awoke from its unconsciousness.
“Jiggy?” it inquired to no one in particular.
It looked around, finding that it had landed in a sort of garden, and it was surrounded by shrubbery. A small butterfly flitted past its face and Jigglypuff jumped. It had never seen anything like that before…well it had, but ten times the size. It was then as it held its stubby arms together that it realized Paper Towel was missing! They must have gotten separated during the trip, and as Jigglypuff frantically went looking under every bush it could find, tears welt up in its eyes. What ever could it do without Paper Towel? And what would Paper Towel do exposed to a world that was probably so full of waste for it to become a slave to?
There were footsteps and human speech coming from just a few feet away beyond a few shrubs. Jigglypuff dodged underneath some shrubbery.
“Plato, look at this,” the pink Pokemon heard, “What ever do you think it is?”
Jigglypuff spied on them from under the bush. They were humans alright, though dressed strangely. They wore long, white robes and golden rope as belts. Okay, so it wasn’t too far off from what some of the scientists wore on those few select nights, but still – these people were out in broad daylight! Although Jigglypuff didn’t quite understand it, it had successfully traveled back in time to ancient Athens.
The pink, fluff-ball’s eyes wandered down as the strange human named Plato bent down to pick up something. Low and behold it was Paper Towel lying ever so elegantly in the shade of a bush Jigglypuff had not checked yet. The balloon Pokemon blew itself up in a huff and went so far as to rush to poor Paper Towel’s rescue. It jumped upon the man’s back and delivered a heavy Pound attack to his spine.
“Son of Zeus! What was that?” Plato called to his friend.
“Why, I don’t know what it is, but it was that...thing!” his friend called back.
Jigglypuff stood with Paper Towel safely back in its arms. No damage had been done and Jigglypuff breathed a sigh of relief.
“Why, it’s even more astonishing than that roll of soft paper!” Plato concluded, “Let us bring it to Socrates! He finds himself so wise, maybe he knows what this creature is!”
“Well, you better get to catching it!” his friend said, pointing towards Jigglypuff’s running back.
Plato took no time to decide to run after the creature. Jigglypuff was fast, and dodged to and fro amongst the ally ways throughout Athens. Nevertheless, Plato and his friend kept on searching. Unfortunately for them, Jigglypuff had made itself a master of hiding and has slipped down a shaft to an underground basement it had found in the center of the city.
It plopped at the bottom and it took no time for Paper Towel to land on the creature’s head.
“Puff!” it squeaked.
The bottom of the shaft was dark and gloomy. There was a cough and few grumblings far off in the darkness. Jigglypuff shook with fear and held Paper Towel close to its body. It walked further into the basement, listening to the groaning voices until it saw a light at the end of the deep corridor.
“Puff?” it asked and walked toward the light.
As it neared, it found the light was blocked off by bars, like a teaser. As it neared further, it found that the blocked off area was more like a cage, similar to the cage Jigglypuff itself had stayed in under the control of the scientists back at the lab. It approached the bars, and now close enough it could see a lonely man was trapped behind them. His face was not lightened by the rays of sunshine streaming from Apollo, but, he did look quite content with his living quarters.
The man sensed the creature’s presence, and, at the sight of it, jumped with an, “Oh!”
“Puff!” Jigglypuff gasped as it had been found out.
With the sudden excitement, the man dropped his cup of water and Jigglypuff dropped Paper Towel. The roll unraveled, and soaked up the spilled drink in an almost pleasured manner for its services.
“Jiggy puff puff PUFF!” Jigglypuff fumed.
“Calm down, there, mysterious creature,” the man said, “It looks as though your toy will be fine.”
His soothing voice eased Jigglypuff’s nerves a bit. With nimble fingers, the man picked Paper Towel up gently.
“Oh, dear,” the man said with a look at the roll.
Not wanting to watch another second of the man toying with Paper Towel, Jigglypuff squeezed through the bars and tore the roll away from him, causing the paper to tear. The wet part lay in the man’s hands and the rest of the roll was with Jigglypuff.
“PUFF!” it shrieked.
“Be still,” the man said, “I mean no harm…and look. Your paper is just fine.”
Jigglypuff turned away from the man, furious.
“Would you like to be friends, small, pink one?” the man asked, “My name’s Socrates. What’s yours?”
Jigglypuff grumbled back, “Jigglypuff.”
“I’ve never heard that name before – but it seems to pack some spunk...kind of like you do,” Socrates said to the pink creature.
Jigglypuff was still looking away, now with red cheeks. No one had ever commented positively on it before, not even its trainer, Truman. The thought of the lab was just so…unbearable. If it never went back, it was fine with that.
“What’s this around your waist?” Socrates asked.
“Jiggy,” Jigglypuff honestly shrugged.
“Well, it looks awful annoying,” he said.
His fingers raced across the contraption, pushing buttons of all kinds, in which many didn’t work (electricity wasn’t around during ancient Greece!). He then pushed a large, red button which unlocked the belt and set Jigglypuff free.
“Jiggly!” Jigglypuff cried in happiness, and threw itself onto Socrates in a bout of joy.
The two spent the rest of the afternoon together in Socrates’ cell. Jigglypuff sure lightened the mood, and although the creature didn’t speak his language, their communication was impeccable, somehow. There was something about it that gave him joy. It listened to everything he had to say and seemed to understand his views on the gods and those that had thrown him in that jail. But most importantly, it seemed to be more than a companion...one of spiritual connection...
“Jiggly puuuuff,” Jigglypuff said softly, after hearing Socrates’ recent experiences.
“Yes…I guess they think we should all believe in the gods,” Socrates said, “But let me ask you something. Do you believe in those gods?”
Jigglypuff shook its head – it hadn’t a clue what they were anyway.
“Then what happens to you? You weren’t thrown in jail like I for having a different opinion!” Socrates exclaimed.
“Shut up, old man,” cried a prisoner down the hall.
Socrates sighed and lied down on the stone bed he had been given.
“And now I have death on my mind,” Socrates said with a flick of his wrist, “I know, I know – I probably deserve it in their eyes and yes I know I could have escaped…but that wouldn’t have been right. Perhaps if I don’t run my reputation will go up after I pass. I suppose it’s better than being hunted.”
Jigglypuff put on a worrisome face.
“Jig! Jiggly jiggly puff!” it cried.
“Don’t be worried about me,” Socrates said with a soothing smile, “I’m only to drink Hemlock. It’s a deadly poison, but, I suppose it’s better than being slaughtered. The bad thing is, the thought won’t leave me alone. I can’t tell you how many nights of sleep I’ve lost to those nightmares.”
Jigglypuff didn’t say a word – it only handed Paper Towel to him. Socrates took the roll, hesitated, and then put it under his head. He felt bad, but they both knew, somehow, that Paper Towel would find a new purpose that way. And recognizing its own purpose in life (besides making more Jigglypuff like it had been told by Truman), Jigglypuff began to sing. The melody echoed throughout the cavernous corridors and Socrates looked at the creature with awe and astonishment.
“Why, what a talent you have!” Socrates said sleepily, “It’s like a lullaby from the heavens.”
He yawned and then apologized, “I’m sorry to fall asleep during your beautiful performance, love, but it’s that…powerful.”
In an instant he was asleep, but Jigglypuff kept its song going until the snoring of all the other prisoners echoed into its ears. Then, with a long yawn of its own, Jigglypuff snuggled under Socrates’ arm and fell asleep soundly.
The next day, word had gotten out that the sacred ship had returned from Delos and it was time for Socrates to drink the dreaded Hemlock. He spent a few of his last hours with his friends, all but Plato, where they offered a sure escape for the last time.
“You must!” they pleaded.
“No!” Socrates said sternly, “I cannot return evil for evil. I have a duty to respect the due process of the Law in the city that had nurtured me.”
They sulked, discussed it a bit more, and finally went into other philosophical discussions. Jigglypuff and Paper Towel listened to the discussion, not having a clue as to what was going on.
“It is time!” called one of the guards.
They presented Socrates with the Hemlock in a little glass bottle. His friends found dust in their eyes, and furiously wiped them away. Jigglypuff cried silently, wiping its tears away into Paper Towel. Socrates took the glass flask with bravery, and gulped the poison down quickly as if it were a shot. He began to shake almost instantly and his friends rushed to his side.
“Jiggy!” Jigglypuff cried.
Socrates said to it in a cracking tone, “Sing for me, Jigglypuff…one last time…that…that summer’s song…that lullaby…”
His breathing was uneven, but for all it was worth, Jigglypuff opened its mouth and let the soft melody pour out of its heart. The room fell silent, save for the creature’s voice, and one by one everyone fell asleep. Socrates tried his best to stay awake, even though the pain rushing through him wasn’t pleasant. He then fell weak and dozed off to the sound of Jigglypuff’s “Summer’s Song.”
Serious writing for one of Psi's cracked out ships. wtf.
Well, I hope you enjoyed it all the same. XD;;