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Thread: Halloween Party (contestshipping, slight Pokeshipping) G

  1. #1
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    Default Halloween Party (contestshipping, slight Pokeshipping) G

    Hello, well I just thought of this fic while I was in my first period class. Now I'm in my 4th period and I'm posting it. I hope you all like it. It's my first contestshipping fic, it also has a slight AAML


    Halloween Party


    May was sitting in her classroom waiting for the bell to ring. Today there will be the best Halloween party ever at her friend's, Misty Waterflower's, house. Everyone was invited to go to the costume party!

    The bell finally ran and May dashed out of the classroom. As she was running around the corner she bumped into someone. She and the guy she had bumped into fell to the floor.

    “Sorry!” They both exclaimed at the same time.

    “I’m sorry I didn’t see you.” They said in unison again.

    When they both looked up to see who they had bumped into they looked at each other wide eyed they quickly stood up and yelled “You!” at the same time to each other.

    Drew flipped his green hair. “I should’ve known. Who other person could be so clumsy?” he said when he regain his composure.

    “What?!” exclaimed May outraged. “You were the one who bumped into me!”

    Drew shoved a rose in front of her. “Whatever. See you later.” He said in a soft voice leaving May perplexed. She smelled the rose as she saw him go.

    Once he was out of sight she realized she had to go home and get herself ready. She quickly ran to her locker, packed her books and dashed to her house.

    7:30 p.m. Waterflower Residence

    May and Misty were sitting in a corner talking and drinking soda. May was dressed as a schoolgirl, with a black uniform. (Like Yuki from Vampire Knights.) She had a black two-inches-up-the-knee-length uniform. Misty in the other hand was dressed like Nurse Joy.

    “Wanna dance?” Asked Ash, who was dressed as pirate.

    Misty gladly took his hand he had offered to her. “Sure, Ash.” Said Misty happily as she and Ash walked away from May and into the crowd. Misty looked back at May and mouthed an apology for leaving her alone. May smiled and mouthed “have fun” back, Misty smiled at her as she disappeared with Ash into the crowd.

    May sighed. ’Now this is pathetic.’ She thought. ‘Everyone is having so much fun but me.’

    A guy with black hair and green eyes dressed as a Vampire walked up to her. He extended his hand to her as she looked up. He was unbelievable hot! He could be the hottest guy at the party easily.

    “Dance with me?” he asked her.

    May looked around her and noticed she and him were the only ones there. She smiled at him and took his hand.

    “Let’s.” she answered smiling.

    As they were dancing they started talking. May was wondering who this mysterious guys was. She had never seen him before.

    “Do I know you from somewhere?” she asked. “You look so familiar but I can’t put my finger on it.”

    “You see me everyday, May.” Said the mysterious guy.

    “Who are you?” she asked again.

    “Who do you want me to be?” he smiled and shoved a red rose in front of her, and then leaned forward to place his lips upon her.

    “Drew.” She said when they broke the kiss.

    “That’s right, May. It’s me.” He said softly. “I want to apo-“ she put a finger on his lips so he couldn’t continue.

    “Don’t. Let’s just enjoy the moment now and then you can tell me.” She said as a slow song began.

    She put her arms around his neck and he put his arms around her waist. They both leaned in and kiss each other again as they dance.

    The End

    Please review, it'd help me improve my writting! Thanks.
    Last edited by misty_aquamaster; 1st November 2006 at 10:51 PM.
    Please read & review my Fanfiction:
    Friendship, Love, Rivalry and Misunderstandigs
    Now on Chapter 19 !!

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by misty_aquamaster View Post
    [COLOR="RoyalBlue"]

    May was sitting in her classroom waiting for the bell to ring. Today there will be the best Halloween party ever at her friend, Misty Waterflower, house. Everyone was invited to go to the costume party!
    It shoudl be "at her friend's, Misty Waterflower's, house"

    anyways, this was a really sweet fic.
    a bit rushed though. You didn't really put enough descriptions or how the characters felt.
    The roses were nice though
    This is a pretty good fic considering its length

    Well, keep writing, and they should get even better


    click on my banner to go to my CS fic! (no flames!)

  3. #3
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    May looked around her and noticed she and him were the only ones there. She smiled at him and took hi hand.
    I think you mean 'his' not 'hi', otherwise, no other errors besides the one Genkiness pointed out, unless i missed one.

    But she is right, it does seem kind of rushed, but hey, I like it! =3
    Read my Current fanfiction-Travelin' Across the Continent(Contestshipping, a bit of Pokeshipping)Rated PG-13(Rating has risen)
    Raine's PokePet

    Nokio the level 52 Lucario!
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  4. #4
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    A bit short, but still good. Typo's just as Genkiness and Raine-kou pointed out.
    A Proud Contestshipper!
    Sprites from Pokesho

  5. #5

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    The grammar is a little off. But it's lovely, and actually, Drew seems a lot like Yuki rom Fruits Basket

  6. #6
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    Thank you so much for review and I'm glad you liked it. Well, I know it's short but if I didn't ended it soon I would still be writting it and I wanted to do it for Halloween. Not to mention that I had to go to a program I'm in and I didn't get out of there till 7:30 p.m and when I got home was eight something. I knew it was going to be that way, so I did it quickly. Besides it was really spontaneous, the whole idea just came out of nowhere. Thanks for reviewing and correcting my mistakes, btw! Thanks.
    Please read & review my Fanfiction:
    Friendship, Love, Rivalry and Misunderstandigs
    Now on Chapter 19 !!

  7. #7
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    Wow. Good and surprisingly like the "Ball" chapters of my fic. With Drew as a masked guy, that is. Not Ash as a pirate. Everyone seems to be doing this now...weird. Anyway, if you could write more in other fics that would be great. You're a good writer and I'll be keeping an eye on your work.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by flygonrulz View Post
    Wow. Good and surprisingly like the "Ball" chapters of my fic. With Drew as a masked guy, that is. Not Ash as a pirate. Everyone seems to be doing this now...weird. Anyway, if you could write more in other fics that would be great. You're a good writer and I'll be keeping an eye on your work.
    Thanks for reviewing and the complements. Well, actually this is the shortest fic I've ever written. It was totally rush job, too. I didn't know everyone was putting Ash as a pirate... I did it 'cause it was the first thing that crossed my mind. Anyway, thank you for reviewing.
    Please read & review my Fanfiction:
    Friendship, Love, Rivalry and Misunderstandigs
    Now on Chapter 19 !!

  9. #9
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    No, I ment the whole "Masked Drew" thing.

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