Disclaimer: I don’t own pokemon or anything.
Rated: G
One shot

Jessie considers what she has become and why.

Jessie paced the small living room of the Rocket cabin her and her team were staying at.
Meowth was curled up on the couch in front of a roaring fire place; James was in the bedroom also asleep.
Jessie was spending another restless night.
She was the villain of this tale, as she always was, as she always had to be.
She wanted to stamp her feet and scream at the top of her lungs that it wasn’t fair, although she had now accepted that most things in her life weren’t ever going to be fair.
This was her choice, her foolish but necessary decision, become the devil in order to protect her angel.
Joining Team Rocket isn’t a decision you take lightly, you sign your life away and in fairness she had no life to give when she had originally joined, that was before she was given James.
Sure he was talented and physically fit enough to commit the type of atrocities that they were expected to do, but underneath that was the kind and thoughtful person that needed preserving and protection from this life, he was to perfect for this dark flawed lifestyle and Jessie had decided from the moment that he had promised never to let her down that she would sacrifice herself in order to protect him.
She would do what they had to do to continue there career, she would be wicked and vicious so he didn’t have to be.
Meowth rolled over in his sleep and murmured something incomprehensible.
Jessie walked over to the small window and watched the snow endlessly drift down to the white blanketed ground.
The snow reminded her all the more that she had no choice but to play the villain she was now expected to be.
Once when they had been in the offices of Team Rocket HQ she had been able to hack some of the private files in Domino’s P.C, the file that she dreaded opening sat before her, taking a deep breath she opened it and gazed in disgust and terror at what was written before her.
No little girl wants to read the meticulous planning that had gone into her mother’s murder, it had seemed that Miyamoto had wanted to leave Team Rocket, but that Madame Boss had feared that she would go to the police and sell information, preparation needed to be made to insure that this did not happen.
Madame Boss offered Miyamoto one final mission, attached with a rather sizable pay check, Miyamoto agreed and was killed in an “accidental” avalanche.
There was no retiring from this industry and if you began to slack you will be dealt with.
So Jessie did what she had to do to protect James from being destroyed.
The snow was now falling thick and fast, the fire was now gently fading. Jessie took a blanket from the cupboard and tucked Meowth up so he wouldn’t get to cold.
It was now gone 1 o’clock in the morning and she knew she must sleep if she was to be at her best tomorrow.
Her gloved hand reached out and turned the door handle; she quietly entered the bedroom and closed the door behind her.
The moon light streamed through the thick snow and fell upon the sleeping James, giving him even more beauty than he already possessed.
A smile spread over her crimson lips, perhaps he was worth it, all of it, she just wished that she could tell him the feelings she locked away.
She changed into her pyjamas and tied her hair up into a high ponytail. Her heart was pounding fast and she knew that she needed him more than anything, more than money, more than contest ribbons, more than her life was worth.
Jessie knelt on the edge of the bed and crawled over him until her face was a few inches above his.
Against all her will, and belief that she would never be good enough for him, she found her hand reaching out and brushing his soft hair from his face; her hand caressed his cheek and ran down across his neck.
James stirred slightly but remained asleep. It was cruel and painful torture that she put upon herself, knowing all that she’d done for him and knowing that he could never know.
Everyone is allowed their moment of weakness and this was hers, she closed her eyes, lowered her face and kissed his lips gently.
The next moment she found her heart almost exploding, One of James’s hand was on her back pushing her down onto him and the other was on the back of her head pulling her even closer as he kissed her back.
Eventually they broke away; Jessie sat up and blushed furiously.
“Thank you.” She said after an uncomfortable silence.
“Don’t say that, look Jess; whatever is bothering you…you know you can talk to me right?” James sat up too and took her hands in his.
Her blue eyes began to water; they looked up into his eyes, the green still visible in the dark.
“Something awful has happened to me.”
“What, tell me, its okay.” He said as he pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her.
“I’ve….well…I guess…I’ve fallen in love with you.” She admitted she looked away and bit down on her lip, she was being so weak.
“But that’s not awful, that’s great especially for me.” James smiled.
“No it isn’t, I’m supposed to protect you from all the bad things in the world, like me.”
“Bad things have happened to you, but that doesn’t make you bad, sweetheart.”
Jessie felt disgust with herself but was unable to stop her crying, she buried her face in his chest.
“I know sometimes I act like an idiot, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate all you do for me, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you with all my heart.”
Jessie laughed lightly, “So you don’t hate me.”
James shook his head, “And you love me even though I whine and moan and dress up like a girl.”
“Yeah, strange but true, huh?”
“I don’t know how we are going to escape the darkness that we’re in, but we’ll protect each other and maybe one day it will all be okay.” James placed his hands on Jessie’s face; she leant in and placed her forehead against his.
They fell asleep wrapped up together in each others arms, feeling a little safer in their world of evil.