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Thread: Everything Changes [[Advanceshipping PG-13]]

  1. #1

    Default Everything Changes [[Advanceshipping PG-13]]

    OMG! I wrote an Advanceshipping fic! Yayz!! [[By no means am I an Advanceshipper.]] I just wrote the fic. Tell me what you think!!

    Everything Changes
    PG-13
    Advanceshipping
    Pages on Word: 3


    A scream echoed through the room, and Satoshi Ketchum sat bolt upright. Next to him, Haruka was panting, her large belly quivering.

    “I can feel it. The baby wants to come.” Haruka panted, and screamed again. Satoshi hurriedly jumped out of bed, not noticing his wedding ring falling off his finger and rolling under the bed. He pulled on jeans and a t-shirt, shoving his ebony hair out of his brown eyes. He glanced over at his wife. Sweat had soaked her chestnut hair, and her sapphire eyes were full of pain.

    “Hold on, Haruka.” Satoshi whispered, slipping on his shoes. He helped his wife stand, then hobble out of the room. He supported her all the way down the stairs and out to their small silver car. Once Haruka was safely in the back seat, Satoshi slid behind the wheel and started the engine. He pulled out of the driveway, turned sharply left, and roared towards the hospital. Sirens echoed behind him. He swore and pulled over. A cop came up to his window.

    “Son, do you have any idea how fast you were going?” He asked in a gruff voice, scratching his forehead.

    “No, but my wife’s having her baby, and we need to get to the hospital!” Satoshi replied hastily, and the cop nodded.

    “OK, I’ll radio the other cops and tell them not to stop you. Or would you like an escort?” He asked, his nametag showing up in the light of his flashlight. It read Ryan. Satoshi nodded, and noticed his wife shaking again. The cop ducked his head out of the window just as Haruka wailed again.

    “Satoshi!” She moaned, gripping his hand. The cop car started up and sped past them, and Satoshi followed. Haruka was panting hard as they pulled into the emergency room parking lot. An orderly came out with a stretcher, and they lifted Haruka onto it.

    “Please, let my husband be there for the birth.” She gasped, sweat pouring down her face in hot rivulets.

    “I’m sorry, but that’s for the doctor to decide.” The orderly said, frowning.

    “Satoshi…” Haruka cried, as she and the orderly disappeared through a door.

    *************

    Satoshi paced in the waiting room for three hours. Finally a doctor came out and said,

    “Go home, it’s going to be a while. We’ll call you as soon as the baby’s born.” Satoshi sighed and obliged, trotting out the door and to the car. He went to finger his ring, but found it wasn’t there. He searched the car frantically, over-turning everything. When he attested that the ring was not in the car, he climbed in and began the hour drive home.

    *************

    Satoshi stepped through the door into darkness. He felt on the wall for a light switch, and when he found it, flipped it. Nothing happened. Thunder grumbled at him as a bolt of lightning lit the room. The storm had knocked the power out. Just great. He waited for the next flash of lightning, then made his way over to the couch. He laid down and closed his eyes, letting sleep over take him.

    *************

    It was three o’clock P.M. when the phone ringing awoke him. He sat up and grabbed the phone.

    “Hello?” He asked groggily, blinking a few times.

    “Hello, is this Satoshi?” A professional male voice asked.

    “Yeah” Satoshi answered.

    “This is Dr. Rozen with the hospital. I’m the doctor that’s been staying with Haruka during these past few hours. I just thought I’d call to tell you that Haruka’s contractions are coming more and more frequent. The baby should be born within the next few hours.” Dr. Rozen said, and Satoshi was immediately awake.

    “I’ll be there soon.” He said, and hung up. He dashed outside and clambered into his car. He started the engine and pulled into the street. He drove towards the hospital, ignoring the scenery flashing by. Soon he was in the hospital parking lot and dashing into the building. He asked at the front desk,

    “Where can I find Haruka Ketchum?”

    “Delivery room, third floor. But no one can go in there-” The receptionist at the desk said, but Satoshi was already gone.

    ***************

    “Can I go in? That’s my wife in there!” Satoshi begged. The doctor finally nodded and let Satoshi in. He immediately went to his wife’s side.

    “It’s all right, Haruka, I’m here.” He whispered, gripping her hand. Haruka’s eyes were squeezed shut as contractions rippled her sides. That went on for another two hours, during which Satoshi nodded off. He awoke to a scream.

    “Push! You’re almost there! Push!” A doctor cried, peering between Haruka’s legs. Haruka heaved, and the doctor was left holding a small pink bundle.

    “It’s your new baby girl.” The doctor said, smiling tiredly. But Haruka had passed out.

    ***************

    Satoshi stood back in a corner while Haruka nursed baby Sayori for the first time. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes, sliding down the wall to the floor. He slipped off into sleep.

    ***************

    He woke to the sound of machinery beeping and whining. He heard a baby crying, and the doctor’s shouting.

    “We’re losing her!”

    “Try harder!”

    “I’m trying my hardest!”

    “Don’t give up on us, Haruka!”

    Satoshi jumped up and tried to get to Haruka’s side, but a doctor shoved him back.

    “Stay back. We’re trying to revive her.”

    “It’s too late. We lost her.”

    “No…” Satoshi whispered, sinking to his knees. Tears escaped his eyes, like a river escaping a dam, and he broke down entirely. A doctor knelt beside him.

    “I’m terribly sorry. Would you like to visit your child?” He asked. Satoshi nodded, wiping away a tear. He stood and followed the doctor, and was soon in the nursery, holding a small child.

    “Sayori…” Satoshi whispered. He placed a kiss on the child’s forehead. He knew it would be difficult raising this little girl without her mother, but he had to try. For Haruka.

    This just proved to him that life could change in a second. Whether by death or birth, life was always taking twists and turns. And in a minute, everything changes.

    ------------------------------

    END.

    What do you think?

    ~MK
    Last edited by ~!Mudkip Kitteh!~; 21st November 2006 at 8:10 PM.

  2. #2
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    WOOOOOWWWW!!! SIMPLY AMAZING!!! Its extremely sad, May dies giving birth to Ash's child......beautiful story and amazing beginnin!!!

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by MistyLover View Post
    WOOOOOWWWW!!! SIMPLY AMAZING!!! Its extremely sad, May dies giving birth to Ash's child......beautiful story and amazing beginnin!!!
    Thank you, but it's a one-shot. Sorry. [[I might throw in a prequel and a sequel- prequel being where Satoshi and Haruka getting together, sequel being where Satoshi raises his and Haruka's child alone.]]

    ~MK

  4. #4
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    Wow, I'm not much of an advancedshipper but I really liked this. I just love how you write your fics and I envy you for your talent. Write more soon, I'll be waiting...the ending was sad but it was perfect at the same time. (not that I liked Haruka dying or anything like that, it added elements that the fic needed)
    "Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die." -Alaska Young (Looking For Alaska)

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    Andrew James Vivelo
    eleven.six.oheight

  5. #5
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    Wow, it was amazing. But, I felt it was kinda rushed. But, I still thought it was a great fic. Well, great job on this fic, any ideas for a sequel to this story?

    Later
    (Jemi*Rose)

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jemi Rose View Post
    Wow, it was amazing. But, I felt it was kinda rushed. But, I still thought it was a great fic. Well, great job on this fic, any ideas for a sequel to this story?

    Later
    (Jemi*Rose)
    I agree. Great idea for a fic, just a tad bit rushed. Show a bit more detail in the characters(even though we have memorized their appearance) and add more stuff to the overall plot. Other than that, nice work!

    Hope to read more soon!


    Christian and American.

    "The two most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen, and human stupidity. Quite frankly, I'm not so sure about hydrogen."

    Forever an Advanceshipper!

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Haruka Kinomiya View Post
    Wow, I'm not much of an advancedshipper but I really liked this. I just love how you write your fics and I envy you for your talent. Write more soon, I'll be waiting...the ending was sad but it was perfect at the same time. (not that I liked Haruka dying or anything like that, it added elements that the fic needed)
    Thanks. I'm not much of an Advanceshipper either, but I got tired of writing Contestshipping all the time. [[Oh noez!!]]

    Quote Originally Posted by Jemi Rose View Post
    Wow, it was amazing. But, I felt it was kinda rushed. But, I still thought it was a great fic. Well, great job on this fic, any ideas for a sequel to this story?

    Later
    (Jemi*Rose)
    I thought it was a bit rushed too. I think I'm going to try and stretch it out on Word, and then edit this post. Hrrmm.. Yes, I do have sequel- and prequel!- ideas.

    Quote Originally Posted by Đămon Howe View Post
    I agree. Great idea for a fic, just a tad bit rushed. Show a bit more detail in the characters(even though we have memorized their appearance) and add more stuff to the overall plot. Other than that, nice work!

    Hope to read more soon!
    Like I said, I'm going to try and stretch it a bit.

    I will gladly PM you guys when I edit it.

    ~MK

  8. #8
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    Wow, so sad! I love the story and I will be waiting for a sequel!

  9. #9
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    I love unexpected beginnings like this, and it's good to see a ship dealing with adult issues. Also good to see the characters taken out of their childhood. I do the same thing

    The only criticism I have at this point is on your decision to centre the entire chapter. I for one found the centred text very awkward to read.

    Good work, pal.

  10. #10
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    I love it!
    FC: 3823 8386 8915
    Ruki
    soz i cant use ma wifi...

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by flamingoozaru View Post
    Wow, so sad! I love the story and I will be waiting for a sequel!
    Thank you. I might make one sometime before next month...     Spoiler:- SECRET:


    Quote Originally Posted by Zubeon View Post
    I love unexpected beginnings like this, and it's good to see a ship dealing with adult issues. Also good to see the characters taken out of their childhood. I do the same thing

    The only criticism I have at this point is on your decision to centre the entire chapter. I for one found the centred text very awkward to read.

    Good work, pal.
    Thank you. I think that was a mistake on my part, centering it. It makes it difficult for me to read, too. I think I'll un-center it.

    Yes... the one issue hardly ever dealt with in shipping fics- giving birth/making babies. And most of the fics around here don't work with the characters all-grown-up.

    Thanks for the criticism, even if it is very little.

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkLucairo View Post
    I love it!
    Not to mini-mod, but that counts as SPAM. I don't want this to be closed, so please, specify what you love and/or hate about it? Thanks.

    And I'm glad you like it.

    ~MK

  12. #12
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    :O

    Nice work, Kitteh.

    Love the unexpected twist at the end, with Haruka losing her life for the baby. D: It was a bit sad, but oh well. ; ;

    I liked this part //

    "This just proved to him that life could change in a second. Whether by death or birth, life was always taking twists and turns. And in a minute, everything changes."

    ; ; It was sad, almost making me cry. xD;; Yeah, I'm emotional like that. ; ;

    Good luck on your prequel && sequel! 83
    STRAWBERRIES : DD
    (they rock and don't deny it or I'll send the strawberry army after you)

  13. #13
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    Great work! and great Problem! and This is coming from someone that isn't even close to being an Advanceshipper!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh Noez!!!!!!!!!!! Haruka DIED?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was just un-called for!! not saying that the fic was Horrid, but, HARUKA DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
    Last edited by Encyclopika; 7th December 2006 at 8:11 PM. Reason: double posting
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  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by sammy061338 View Post
    Oh Noez!!!!!!!!!!! Haruka DIED?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was just un-called for!! not saying that the fic was Horrid, but, HARUKA DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
    Please don't double post, go back and edit your first post. Not to mini-mod, though. I just don't want this closed.

    ~MK

    [[Sequel's in the making]]

  15. #15
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    ?

    You should have explained why Haruka dies, or at least hint as to why. Mothers don't usually die when they give birth. What, did the hospital suck or something? Please, do tell!
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  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by darkjigglypuff View Post
    ?

    You should have explained why Haruka dies, or at least hint as to why. Mothers don't usually die when they give birth. What, did the hospital suck or something? Please, do tell!
    Mothers sometimes die giving birth due to complications, poor hospital service, etc.

    I think.... I'm going to edit this story a bit and point that out. I don't know...

    ~Mk

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