View Poll Results: Would you want make this ficlet into a fic or keep as is? Please read fic b4 answerin

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Thread: Much Ado About Hats Ficlet [ Pokeshipping ]

  1. #1
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    Smile Much Ado About Hats Ficlet [ Pokeshipping ]

    Okay, a little ficlet I made and I need to get some opinions straightened out... Who here would like to keep this ficlet as is or make it a full-fledged chapter fic?? Let me know in your poll!!!
    Much Ado About Hats

    It was just a hat. So what if he didn’t wear it? It didn’t matter… Did it? He had been oh so very offended if anyone dared to steal his hat… All she had to do was grab it and he would spew into tantrums. Now it was any old hat. Lying around in his room, kicking up dust, it meant nothing to him. All the memories the hat had… They meant nothing, nada to him. He had a new hat, new friends, and a new life. The day he dropped his hat was the day everything and everyone changed. He was different, they were different, even she was different.

    His house was fairly quiet as she entered it; the door was unlocked and his mother had left a note that she would be back soon. She walked around the peaceful house and remembered all the times she had had lunch with him, slept over with him, played outside with him. She took off her shoes and slid softly in her white socks across the clean hardwood flood and up the carpeted stairs. Then she saw his room.

    Soon he would come home from Battle Frontier and talk about some other journey he would go on. The Professor had already explained that there was a “Shinou” region and everyone was going to separate again. May was going to Jhoto… Brock was going back home… Max would start his own journey… He would leave too… And she? Maybe she could come along again this time. If she wasn’t too scared! And to think this all started with the stupid hat. The stupid hat that the stupid boy was wearing when he stupidly stole her stupid bike… The bike…

    She narrowed her eyes as she entered and drifted around his room. Mrs. Ketchum was grocery shopping with Mr. Mime and she was all alone in this house. The sun was shining into his bedroom causing a soft of spotlight to hit a region of his bed where he old clothes lay; folded neatly. She approached it slowly and touched the 100% cotton silk that was his old clothing. She picked up the satin hat and surveyed it. Yep, it was an authentic Pokemon League hat alright… Not like the stupid one he had now. This hat carried a lot of memories… A lot. Heck, they first met when he was wearing this very hat. He stole her bike… wearing this hat. She hugged it to her chest tightly and fell back into the bed. It still smelled like him. She had saved him when he wore this hat. She swam into ice cold waters with nothing but a rope to sustain her and she had pulled him in… But he didn’t remember that… She made a mental note to tell him one day. But for now, memories were all she had.

    Misty could remember the day where that Mankey had stolen Ash’s most prized possession. Ash had just recently called Professor Oak and told him that he had earned four badges with pride. Unfortunately, the Professor compelled him with unfortunate news that his other rivals, including Gary, had five badges. On their way to Celadon City, Ash, Misty, and Brock had had an encounter with a Mankey. Brock offered the Pokemon a donut out of the kindness of his heart and while they were watching it, Ash stupidly threw the stupid Pokeball at the stupid Mankey… Causing all the trouble in the first place!

    Misty smiled to herself in remembrance; how stupid and naďve and… cute Ash had been.

    Anyway, the Mankey disappeared and as Ash opened the Pokeball; what would appear but a half eaten donut. Of course the poor little creature was angered and we were forced to run. Unfortunately, Brock’s donuts didn’t work that time. And then came the hilarious part; Mankey stole Ash’s hat… The “love” of his life. Brock and Misty had pleaded Ash to give it up… It was just a hat after all. Ash wouldn’t take that as an answer of course, it was an authentic Pokemon League hat.

    Misty recalled their conversation.

    “I had to send about a million post cards to win that hat!” Ash had yelled angrily.
    “Oh, no wonder I didn’t win, I only sent one.” And it was true.

    So they went through all that trouble just to get that million postcard hat. They were sure in for a fight then. The Mankey evolved and all his Primeape friends came along with him. It was pretty difficult to get out of that one; but, of course, they did. They always got out of everything. So Ash got his hat back and swore he would never lose it again. Imagine his ten-year-old self seeing the Ash now; trading in his old hat for probably a fake. Things had definitely changed.

    Ash had battled against her… Against Rudy… Against a bunch of trainers and gym leaders with this hat.

    She smirked to herself. She was willing to bet her life that he fought more battles with this hat than with the other one. His new outfit was weird too. He didn’t wear the cute jacket that made him look younger, no, he wore a stupid sweater jacket… thingy. He didn’t mischievously argue with anyone anymore… or did he? She couldn’t help but sniffle then snort at her motherliness towards him. But she felt more than motherliness and much more than best friends…

    She shook herself out of her thoughts and concentrated on Ash’s clothes. She hadn’t noticed how warm they were as she held them against her. Or how much they still smelled like him… She continued staring at the hat thought. She had left him when he wore the hat. She had been close to admitting her feelings when he wore that hat… so close… She could feel stinging at her eyes as she continued holding the soft hat.
    She slowly put it on her head and her body beginning to fill with sobs; she put on the small fitting jacket and held his black shirt and jealous to her body. Then she curled up against the bed.

    Stupid hats.

    DONT FORGET TO VOTE!!
    Last edited by XxM!styxX; 22nd November 2006 at 10:48 PM.
    Pokeshipper
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    seasons, 4four cameos, 3three supporters,
    2two gifts, and 1one departure worth of emotions.

  2. #2

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    I’m sorry, I meant to review yesterday but the forums kept being slow. ._.

    I loved it! I could really see what Misty was talking about! How is it that he liked that hat so much but had no problem getting a new one? The Mankey episode you referred to is the perfect example! I also see what you mean about the clothes and how they seem to have meaning behind them. Ash does seem different in the new sweater jacket… thingy. Bickering from him is very rare now.

    Besides the fact that I really understood the meaning behind the clothes, I also liked the amount of detail in it. Perfect! Your repeated use of the word "stupid" was also great. =P

    I hope you decide to make this into a whole fic! ^^

    ~Hullo


    ~~Awesomeness~~

  3. #3
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    I like your writing style! It's very descriptive yet it's not boring. The only problem I had with this fic(let) is some parts of the Mankey episode description were untrue like the part of being surrounded by Primeapes (I know because I had recently seen the episode...) but to be honest that was the only problem I had with it! I'm curious as to how you continue the story (which is why I voted 'Yes') so I hope you will change it into a fic soon. Be sure to PM me if you do!
    Read and Review my Fic:
    A Journey of Souls


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  4. #4
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    Hullo : Cool... I will think about making it a fic but I'm not sure. Yeah the hat thing just came to my mind when I thought about how stupid it is thta the producer's made Ash's hat so important and then they just throw it away =[
    el_toro : Thanks for your nice comments... yeah I wasn't so sure about the mankey thing because I haven't seen it in a loooooooong time and I started making it up... But i changed it just like you corrected =]... I will take ur and Hullo's consideration about fic-ing the ficlet lol...If you get more people to vote and comment... I might just do so ;]

    GET SOME MORE PEOPLE TO READ!!
    Pokeshipper
    (n.): Because we don't forget 5five
    seasons, 4four cameos, 3three supporters,
    2two gifts, and 1one departure worth of emotions.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by XxM!styxX View Post
    She shook herself out of her thoughts and concentrated on Ash’s clothes. She hadn’t noticed how warm they were as she held them against her. Or how much they still smelled like him… She continued staring at the hat thought. She had left him when he wore the fat. She had been close to admitting her feelings when he wore that hat… so close… She could feel stinging at her eyes as she continued holding the soft hat.
    She slowly put it on her head and her body beginning to fill with sobs; she put on the small fitting jacket and held his black shirt and jealous to her body. Then she curled up against the bed.

    Stupid hats.

    DONT FORGET TO VOTE!![/FONT][/SIZE]
    That was cute! The only thing I found wrong was the typo I put in bold here. xD <3 Greatjob! n.n

    Stupid hats, lol..xD


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  6. #6
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    LOL, i Luffles this ficlet! Personally, i recon it should be left as a ficlet. Cos then it can keep it's essense and stuff...

    but if you do continue it, PM me

  7. #7
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    Fiona - Thanks for pointing that out =p
    Esperon - Thanks for your nice comments.. I'm honestly not sure yet.. I need more people becuase 5 out of a gazillion is not gonna help me decide whether to keep as ficlet or continue...
    If I did continue...    Spoiler:- What would happen...:
    Pokeshipper
    (n.): Because we don't forget 5five
    seasons, 4four cameos, 3three supporters,
    2two gifts, and 1one departure worth of emotions.

  8. #8
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    Well, I have mixed feelings about the poll, but I'll get to that after my review.

    Overall, it was a good story. I enjoyed it, as I've had similar thoughts about Ash's hat. If he loved it so much, why did he leave it behind? Seems weird, to me.

    The only mistake I nooticed was when you wrote "Of course the poor little creature was angered and we were forced to run." By saying "we", it was as if Misty was telling the story herself, while the rest of the story was just based around her, without her own words. Does that make sense? I'm bad at wording things. =/

    And about the poll, while I would love to see more Pokeshipping, I feel like this would be better if left as it is. It has a sad ending right now, and since that's pretty much how the show ended off, I think it's a fitting ending.

  9. #9
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    Great ficlet! I love the way you keep repeating the word "stupid", it really reminds me of how Ash was back then. Personally, although I would like to see more shippiness, I would rather have it stay as a ficlet. Seems better that way to me.

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