One must locate on an internet sales site such as Ebay or Amazon the following items:
- At least 200 bottles of SPF 50 sunscreen
- One's own incus (Hint: It's in your ear)
- A mortar & pestle
- 38 bottles of Dos Equis
- A Mickey Mouse Hat
- A Burmese Python
- 64.5 Tanzanian Pygmy Opossums
- A sidewalk
- A sibling or friend
- A lock of the Pokemon's hair/scale/feather/piece of skin (this will only work on vertebrate Pokemon)
- A zuchinni
First one must down all 38 bottles of Dos Equis to become akin to the "Most Interesting Man In The World." Next apply SPF 50 sunscreen to body as you will be out in the hot sun for an extended period of time. Don your Mickey Mouse hat and draw a 984-square hopscotch game on a sidewalk (airplane runways are also useable though inadvisable due to safety concerns). One must then remove one's incus by the light of a full moon and grind it and the Pokemon sample into a fine powder using the mortar & pestle. You must then spread the powder over the heads of the pygmy opossums and feed them to the Burmese python at a rate of one opossum per hour for 64.5 hours. You must then play hopscotch with your friend. If you should win the game within 48 hours, you must sacrifice the snake and your friend/sibling by drowning them in a vat of boiling SPF 50 sunscreen. Finally you may approach the Pokemon you desire and entice it with the zucchini. It will be irresistibly attracted to the zucchini regardless of its usual diet and will instantly join you.
Hey. I've been gone for awhile. Now I'm back (temporarily at least). Nobody gonna clap? Ok that's fine...