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Thread: More than Just Friends (Pokeshipping, PG-13)

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    Default More than Just Friends (Pokeshipping, PG-13)

    O.K This is my first shipping fic so I'm kind of nervous. Anyway this fic contains pokeshipping as well as a little contestshipping and egoshipping. Egoshipping will play a big part later in the story.

    Rated PG-13 For some mild voilence and some mild sexual themes.


    Chapter One- Pilot

    It was a gorgeous day in the Region of Kanto. The sun was shining nice, and brightly, while the gusty wind made the trees swing from side to side. Everything was nice, silky, and calm as the day came by. But there was one place where it wasn’t quiet or calm…

    Inside was a massive field where a battle was taking place. There were two people and two creatures called “Pokemon” inside.

    One of them was a fourteen year old boy with raven black hair and lightning shaped birthmarks under his chocolate brown eyes. His name was Ash Ketchum, and he had a big ambition. His goal was to be a Pokemon master and he had gone through many journeys to gain the title.

    On the field was a bright, red cheeked, yellow mouse Pokemon. His name was Pikachu, and he was Ash’s very first Pokemon. Pikachu has been with Ash through all of his adventures, and over the years he has grown to be Ash’s best. Right now Pikachu was tired out from having a long battle with a legendary Pokemon.

    The Pokemon Pikachu was against was truly a most powerful one. It was mostly made of Ice and had strange dots on its face. This Pokemons name was Regice and the name suited it well. Anyone who ever faced this Pokemon would be frozen in a heartbeat. It is a wonder how any Pokemon would be in possession of a human.

    The Human commanding the ice Pokemon was a respected Pokemon trainer. He had a solemn expression on his face which showed he was not one to be messed with. His brown hair covered his head, while his booming voice echoed the stadium. This guy had a dark green suit which showed he was an archeologist. His name was Brandon and he was the owner of several legendary golems.

    “Pikachu, use Volt Tackle on Regice!” Ash shouted in a confident voice to his best friend.

    Hearing this command Pikachu started charging up electricity around its body. Then it charged at Regice full of power.

    “Piiiikachuuu”! Pikachu screamed as it Volt Tackled the Ice Golem

    “Regice, dodge it! Brandon screamed, trying to save his Pokemon from a humiliating defeat.

    Regice then answered back in a digital, robot like voice. It then tried to dodge the thunder attack but it wasn’t fast enough for Pikachu. Like a bolt of lightning trying to zap a tree, Pikachu hit Regice hard.

    “Regggiice!” Regice cried out as it was hit. It then slammed to the ground; obviously it had been knocked out. However Pikachu was still on its feet, though it was tired, was ready to battle more. Pikachu was the winner!

    “Regice is unable to battle, Pikachu wins! Ash has beaten the invincible Brandon!” The referee cried out as he held up a black and white flag

    “Yes! We did it, Pikachu!” Ash cried out in a gleeful voice. He then picked up Pikachu and gave it a tight hug. "I got the Brave Symbol!" Ash said while doing his victory pose.

    “Way to go, Ash!” The person who said that was a twelve year old brunette with a red blouse and bandana. The girls name was May and she too was a Pokemon trainer. However, unlike Ash, she took part in Pokemon Contests. She had recently took part in the Kanto Grand Festival, but got defeated by her green haired rival.

    Also in the sidelines, supporting Ash, was a nine year old boy. He had thick glasses which made him look smart. This boy was smart, and he had great knowledge of Pokemon. His name was Max and he wanted to be a Pokemon Trainer too.

    “Nice work!” This time it was a man with squinty eyes and spiky brown hair. His name was Brock, and he was the gym leader of Pewter City. He specialized in rock type pokemon, as well of other pokemon. Brock was a well accomplished Pokemon breeder and knew a lot when it came to it. But Brock also has one major flaw; he goes after every pretty girl he sees. This often led up to Max pulling on his ears a lot.

    “Congratulations, Ash”, said Brandon in a proud voice. “You have defeated every single Frontier Brain there is. For your achievement you have earned the Brave symbol, as well as a certificate stating your success.”

    “All right!” Ash yelled while he held the certificate. “I wish Misty was here to see this!”

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    In a different part of Kanto was a city named Cerulean City. It had a beautiful ocean view as well as the sun. Cerulean was also the home of the gym leader Misty, who was also Ash’s best friend.

    “Oh Ash, if only I could be with you right now.” Misty said in a solemn voice. Misty had bright red hair, put in a ponytail. She had bright green eyes and had on a bright red bathing suit. Misty was a water Pokemon gym leader, and had a number of water pokemon.

    “Azu?” A bright, blue, polka dot Pokemon cried out. This Pokemon was an Azurill, and had been born only a few months ago. Misty was a mother figure to Azurill and took extreme care of it.

    “Why do I have to stay in this gym, while my sisters are on a world vacation,” grumbled Misty. “I would much rather be with Ash”.

    I wonder if Ash knows about the handkerchief, thought Misty to herself. “Of course not, Ash is dense when it comes to love!” Misty sighed, knowing she would never be with Ash. Her thoughts were then interrupted when the door slammed open and her sisters walked in.

    “Like, Hi Misty. The person who said this was a young woman with blue hair. She was Misty’s sister, Violet. She along with Mistys red haired sister, Lily, said like every ten words.

    “Guess what, sis, we, like, are staying home.” Lily said in a smooth voice.

    “What do you mean?” Misty said in a puzzled voice.

    “We’ll take care of the gym now, said Mistys oldest sister Daisy.

    Misty thought for a moment, and then thought of an idea. “Can I travel with Ash and the Gang?” Misty said in a excited voice.

    “Sure, you can travel with your boyfriend”, said Daisy in a sly voice.

    He’s not my boyfriend!” Misty screamed while pulling out her famous mallet.

    “Whatever you say”, said Daisy in a cool voice.

    Misty was overjoyed when she heard she could travel with Ash again. “I hope Ash will accept what I will tell him” thought Misty nervously.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    O.K I hope it wasn't too bad. Anyway please read and review and tell me what I should work on!
    Last edited by penngrade6; 7th February 2007 at 9:27 PM.

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    Thank you. But is there anything I need to improve on? Is there any mistakes? The next chapter should be up by the end of the week.

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    You've got a great start for your first fic, penngrade6! Good description, and good setting, plotline, and whatnot. A little short, but that's okay, you ended on a good point. Overall, good work! Feel free to add me to your PM list if you want.

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    Quote Originally Posted by penngrade6
    Thank you. But is there anything I need to improve on? Is there any mistakes?
    Right *stretches out fingers* you asked for some stuff to improve, so here I go! (I'm in a picky reviewer mood at the moment)

    The sun was shining nice, and brightly,
    Don't need the comma after nice. And nice isn't that great a word to use in fics, other than when it's patronising (in my mind) but this is something i've always had about that word since and old english teacher years ago had a rant to our class about the word "nice" blame them.

    In the next paragraph or so, try to avoid using things like, "His name was..." it's just kinda...chunky to read if you get what i'm saying.

    Again when describing regice, it's kinda... chunky again and the paragraph doesn't flow in an easy to read way with all the short sentances. The short sentences were excellent at the beginning to give statements about the atmostphere but at this stage, it tends to make it harder to read rather than easier.

    Golems...fab word!

    “Regice, dodge it! Brandon screamed, trying to save his Pokemon from a humiliating defeat.
    Quite true, losing to the tiny yellow rodent would be pretty humiliating for such a momoth block of ice! And it was as well! *remembers anime* *chuckles*

    “Regice is unable to battle, Pikachu wins! “Ash has beaten the invincible Brandon!” The referee cried out as he held up a black and white flag
    Don't need the " before Ash cos you've already started your speech bit and need a full stop after flag.

    He then picked up Pikachu and gave it a tight hug.
    Could use a little more emotion here.

    Just need to see above what I said about describing your characters as the sentences were kinda chunky to wade through and stuff.

    “Congratulations, Ash”, said Brandon in a proud voice. “You have defeated every single Frontier Brain there is. For your achievement you have earned the Brave symbol, as well as a certificate stating your success.”

    “All right!” Ash yelled while he held the certificate. “I wish Misty was here to see this!”
    What? No Ash posing?

    “Like, Hi Misty “said a girl with blue hair.
    Need a full stop after Misty and to have the space after the " rather than before.

    This is really good for your first fics and shows a lot of promise, plus you now have me guessing where they're off to next, repeat another region, Sinnoh or are you having a bash at making up your own?

    This is just a suggestion but you might be interested in reading the advice for aspiring authors in the fan fiction section. Please don't take this as an insult to your writing, cos I did when someone suggested it to me but once I did, i was repulsed by my own writing and completely re-wrote half my fic before showing my face again! It is a great guide and has some awsome ideas on stuff.

    I'm really interested to see where this fic is going and i'd love to get a PM when the next chapter is out.

    Til then, keep writing
    Esperon

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    Artemis Ignatin: Thank you! The reason why this chapter was so short was because I just started and I thought stopping there would be good. You're on the Pm list.

    Esperon: Thanks for the advice! I'm going to fix the errors I did. I'm going to read advice for aspiring writers so my fic is perfect. I'm not insulted, I'm glad you told me these things. Your on the PM List.

    O.K The next chapter is going to be much longer, about nine pages at the least. It will be called Reunion. It's the chapter where Ash meets up with Misty.

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    penngrade 6, buddy, I hate to say this, but...... Just Joking! You have nothing to be worried about, man. For a first chapter of a first fic, this is pretty good. Like Esperon said, though: don't say "His name is.." and stuff like that, takes up memory space. And I don't have much memory space to spare...(coughabsentmindedisIcough) Anyways..
    Yeah, good start. Keep it up, and please make me a PM lister. xXPorygonXx, out!

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    Alright well you said you want advice so I'll give it to you. *grins mischeviously* First off, there's this thread on the forums that addresses specifically for authors like you who are just starting: http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=19: Advice for Aspiring Authors. It's a pretty helpful guide and should address any question you have about your writing. Alright now onto MY advice... First off, I'll admit that this fic is going in a good direction so far. You have many choices to choose from so hopefully, this fic will take some interesting turns! Anyway, one thing you should improve on should be the description. In any kind of writing, you want to avoid giving descriptions as a list such as "This town was big and wide. He was a short guy" because it comes off very generic and basic. Trying throwing in some verbs, synonyms, that kind of stuff. (Highly suggest using dictionary.com, I use it all the time! ) I think that's basically the main problem: just the description. Overall, you're off to a good start and I can't wait to see what you got to offer up next. PM list please!
    Read and Review my Fic:
    A Journey of Souls


    Banner given to me by my great friend MistyLover, made by the talented AmazingKiss
    Currently Posted: Chapter 18-The Venox Vanishings
    Currently Working On: Chapter 22

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    That was another great chapter penngrade6! Awesome! It was a little short, but the quality was great and made up for it, the descriptions were amazing, Misty misses Ash, Ash misses Ash, what a coincidence? LOL. Anyway, a great chapter and I will definitely want to be added to the PM list!

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    xXPorygonXx: Thanks. I'll follow you and esperons advice. You're on the PM List!

    El Toro:Thanks, Ill go read it! I'll try to make my description better with better adjectives next time! You're on the PM List too!

    MistyLover:Thanks! You're on the PM list too!

    I read AFAW and I tried to make my next chapter meet its standards. Expect Chapter 2 by Valentines day!

    PM List:

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    Last edited by penngrade6; 10th February 2007 at 9:05 PM.

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    *Slaps head*. Mistylover told me that there was another fic with the same title, and then I was roaming the Shipping fics section, and I found a contestshipping fic with the same name. I should have checked to see if there was another fic with the same title. Oh well Happy Valentines Day!
    Heres the new chapter.


    Chapter 2- Reunion


    “Today was an astonishing day for Pokemon trainer Ash. He had just recently beaten Frontier Brain Brandon, earned the Brave Symbol, and completed the Battle Frontier challenge. Now he is going back to his home town to show off his wonderful accomplishment.”

    The person who just said that was May. She was pretending she had a video camera in her hands and was filming Ash. May always did that when she saw a new pokemon or one of her friends has accomplished something.

    “Do you have anything to say for your crowning achievement?” May said while pretending she was filming Ash.

    “Yeah, that I’m the best,” Ash yelled victoriously.

    “Don’t get too proud of yourself,” Max said while grinning to himself.

    “Well he does have something to be proud about, Max, Ash just beat a legendary Pokemon.” Brock said, trying to defend Ash.

    “Brandon said I was so good, he offered me a position as a Frontier Brain!” Ash bragged whiling gulping down his lunch. People say the only thing Ash loves more than Pokemon, was food. And Ash did have quite an appetite.

    “Really, then why did you turn down his offer?” Max asked while chewing on a baloney sandwich.

    “Because I want to travel to more places,” Ash replied simply. “And I want to catch up with Misty.”

    “It seems you care a lot about Misty,” Max said in a devious voice.

    “What do you mean?” Ash asked in a mystified tone.

    “Maybe you and Misty like each other,” said Max vigilantly.

    “Are you kidding me?” Ash screamed in an angry voice. But as he said that he was also blushing madly.

    “Whatever you say, giggled Max.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "Perhaps one or two miles away from Ash and his friends, Misty was traversing one of her most feared places in the whole of Kanto. As she waded through the long grass and followed thin clearings in the dense foliage of Viridian Forest, she tried her best to keep her mind away from the bug Pokémon that this area of Kanto teemed with, but she was so far failing.

    'Ash!' Misty yelled to the trees, hoping that her friend had already travelled into the forest and was looking for her. Alas, nobody responded to her calls, and Misty was left to deal with the intimidating lack of natural light and the long, dark shadows alone."

    “Oh, I am going to beat Ash for making me walk through this place.” Misty said to herself. As Misty walked through the woods she couldn’t help but feel that something was watching her.

    “Hello,” Misty called out trying to find out if anything was stalking her. “I guess it’s just my imagination” Misty thought to herself. But as she was walking something was stirring in the bushes, and Misty heard it.

    “Alright come on out,” Misty screamed out loud to the creature. Misty then heard something rustle in the leaves. All she did was stand there frozen in fear. Then she saw something and was frightened by it.

    “No not that,” Misty thought to herself in terror. “Anything but that,” Misty thought to herself. Misty then felt her legs shaking and her stomach shake in pain. She felt nausea and felt like she was about to throw up. Finally Misty screamed in fear at what she saw…

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Meanwhile Ash and the gang were resting and relaxing. Ash took a nap after eating a whopping ten bowls of Brock’s famous beef stew. Brock was reading 1001 ways to get a girl while Max was playing a video game called Pokemon XP: Tale of Lightness on his Nintendo DS. May was busy reading the recent letter Drew sent her.

    Suddenly Brock heard a bloodcurdling scream. “What was that?” Brock said in a curious voice.

    “What was what?” Ash said, finally waking up from his nap.

    “I just heard someone screaming towards the woods.” Brock replied while scanning the area.

    “Let’s go check it out,” Ash said while getting up. With that both Ash and Brock ran towards the scream.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Meanwhile, Misty was trying to cope with the creature she encountered. The pokemon that was terrorizing her was a large arachnid. It had a long legs and it also had a grim expression on its face.

    “Ariados”, screeched the eight legged spider Pokemon. It then started to creep up to Misty hoping she would be its snack.

    For a moment Misty just stood there in fright and pain. Then she took out a large blue pokeball. “Come on out Gyarados!” Misty screamed, while releasing the Pokemon.

    A large, azure sea serpent then came out of its pokeball. It had a large scowl on its face, which made a lot of people fear it. Misty also feared Gyarados ever since she was a little child, but she managed to overcome her fear.

    “Gyarados, use flamethrower!” Misty screamed, trying to get the spider away form her. As Misty said those words, Gyarados opened its large mouth. Then it released fiery bowls of flames. The blaze then started to head to Ariados, but Ariados managed to dodge the powerful attack.

    After the arachnid Pokemon dodged the attack it started to use one of its own. It then spat out a clammy spider web to its opponent.

    “Gyarados, try to burn the web with flamethrower!” Misty screeched, trying to save herself. But it was too late; Gyarados had already been covered in the strong spider web. Unable to do anything, Misty just stood their while Ariodos snuck closer and closer to Misty.

    “Pikachu, use thunder on that Ariodos!” Suddenly a young man with a Pikachu on his back came running to the rescue. Along with him was a squinty eyed man with spiky brown hair.

    “Piiiiiikkkaaachuuu!” Pikachu screamed while charging up an electrical attack. Then the yellow rodent released the electricity, sending it over to Ariodos.

    “Ariodos screamed as the electrical current zapped its body. In a flash, the bug then disappeared.

    Misty then turned around, she then saw her two best friends.

    “Ash!” Misty screamed happily while running towards him. She then hugged Ash tightly, nearly choking Ash to death.

    “I’m glad to see you too, Misty,” Ash gasped while returning the hug. “Now may you please let go of me so I can breath.”

    With that, Misty then pulled out a large wooden mallet and slammed it on Ash’s head. As she lifted the mallet up, there was a large bruise on Ash’s forehead.

    “What was that for?” Ash mumbled weakly, while rubbing his massive bruise.

    “I hug you, and all you say is get off me?” Misty screamed while putting the mallet away.

    “Well it’s nice to see Misty back with her old self,” Ash groaned.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Sorry if it wasn't as long as I promised, but I thought this would be a good place to leave it off. I read AFAW and I tried to make this chapter meet its standards. Tell me if there are any mistakes!
    Last edited by penngrade6; 19th February 2007 at 8:58 PM.

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    I'm proud of how far you've gotten so far, penngrade! Your descriptions of the characters matched the show's and that's a pretty big acheivement! You do need to work on your punctuation and grammar a bit though, like when you're going to end someone's dialogue such as: (bolded are the corrections I made)
    “Ash!,” Misty yelled trying to find her best friend, but no matter how loud she screamed no one could hear her cries. All that Misty saw was a dark forest with dark trees and large shadows.


    “Hello?” Misty called out trying to find out if anything was stalking her. “I guess it’s just my imagination...” Misty thought to herself. As she was walking though something was stirring in the bushes, and Misty heard it.
    These are pretty minor mistakes, but you want to avoid them just so you won't give anybody anything to complain about! If you ever need any help, I'm always open and I'll gladly proofread any chapters you've got.

    Anyway, it was a good chapter, just work on the grammar a bit... (BTW, I liked the part in where Brock is reading the 1001 Ways to get a Girl! ) Keep it up penngrade6!
    Read and Review my Fic:
    A Journey of Souls


    Banner given to me by my great friend MistyLover, made by the talented AmazingKiss
    Currently Posted: Chapter 18-The Venox Vanishings
    Currently Working On: Chapter 22

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    Thanks El Toro! I'll try to work on my grammar next time.

    Heres the next chapter summery:

        Spoiler:- Chapter 3 Summery:

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    OK StarryCup you're in too. I checked your fic and, I gave some advice to you about it.

    PM list:

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    I'm liking this fic very much, expertly written, I liked the parody of XD reference, very entertaining. 10/10!
    credit to PkMnPwNs1991 for the tc and ipoke

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    This is pretty good so far, there's no major spelling or grammar errors that are obvious to me, bar this minor one:
    “Don’t get too proud of yourself,” Max said whiling grinning to himself.
    Whiling should be while, methinks.

    Overall though, like I said, it's pretty good. It's not a masterpiece epic, but I have yet to find a recent time one of those, so don't take that as a negative.
    The only advice I would give you is to perhaps think about improving setting the scene and increasing the atmosphere felt in the story. I'll give you an example of how this could be accomplished with a small part of your latest chapter:

    Not too far from Ash, Misty was traveling through Viridian Forest trying to find the gang. Viridian Forest was a nightmare for Misty because it was loaded with bug Pokemon. And Bug Pokemon freaked Misty out.

    “Ash,!” Misty yelled trying to find her best friend. But no matter how loud she screamed no one could hear her cries, all that Misty saw was a dark forest with dark trees and large shadows.
    "Perhaps one or two miles away from Ash and his friends, Misty was traversing one of her most feared places in the whole of Kanto. As she waded through the long grass and followed thin clearings in the dense foliage of Viridian Forest, she tried her best to keep her mind away from the bug Pokémon that this area of Kanto teemed with, but she was so far failing.

    'Ash!' Misty yelled to the trees, hoping that her friend had already travelled into the forest and was looking for her. Alas, nobody responded to her calls, and Misty was left to deal with the intimidating lack of natural light and the long, dark shadows alone."


    I hope this has helped, and look forward to seeing your next chapter.
    Going Solo, my new Pokéshipping fiction. Chapter 1 now up

    Author at FanFiction.net

    Proud member of the Pokéshipping Author's Club


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    XxMistyXx:Thanks!

    Misty's Double: Thanks for the advice! I fixed those errors you pointed out. As for the setting atmosphere, I'll try to improve on that. You're on the PM list!

    Note: Expect the next chapter by next Saterday or Sunday. This should be a little longer than the previous ones though.

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    Hey guys, sorry for the double post. I'm almost done the chapter so it should be up soon. I figured that I should post a spoiler.

        Spoiler:- Spoiler:


    Thank you all for being so patient!

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    LOL, this has the same title as my Contest Shipping fic, so I clicked and found myself reading and got hooked. Sigh, I'm just like that. You're very talented! This is a good couple but I'm not a mega fan, so from my point of view, it was very nice. Continue

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    I know, I'm so sorry. A few weeks ago, I was surfing the fic section, and I saw a fic with the same name. Sorry. Anyway, I am almost done the chapter, and its considerably long. I'll read you fic when I get the chance. I am a big fan of contestshipping.
    Last edited by penngrade6; 12th March 2007 at 10:39 PM.

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    Sorry for the long wait, but heres the next chapter

    Chapter 3: Evolution

    “So Misty, did your sisters come back from their world-wide cruise?” Brock asked whiling reading a magazine hidden under a book. The gang always wondered what was in that magazine; for all they knew it could have been Playboy.

    “Actually, they were kicked off the cruise for harassing a five year old boy. Misty replied while staring at Ash. Ash has grown a lot, Misty thought as she was goggling at him. She didn’t notice a miniature Weedle creep up her soft leg.

    “Hey Misty, there’s a Weedle on your leg.” Max laughed, as he knew Misty was terrified of bugs.

    “What do you mean?” Misty asked in a frightful tone. Her eyes scanned her leg and she immediately saw the poisonous bug Pokemon.

    “Get it off!” Misty shrieked while swatting at the bug. However the Weedle didn’t seem to care, as it still crawling on her leg.

    “Roselia, use razor leaf on that Weedle!” Suddenly, a large grass Pokemon appeared out of nowhere. It looked like a plant with a red and a blue rose on each hand, and it also had prickly thorns on its green head.

    “Roselia!” Cried the rose Pokemon as it sent out leaves as sharp as pocket knives. The leaves hit the bug hard, and the Weedle cried out as it jumped off Misty’s leg. Then the person who called out Roselia came out of the shadows.

    “Hello May,” said the young man while flicking his bright green hair. This guy had on a purple jacket over his pith black T-Shirt.

    Hey Drew, it’s so nice to see you again!” May greeted happily while blushing madly. May and Drew were really close to each other, even though they were also contest rivals.

    “What brings you here?” Ash said while polishing his Battle Frontier symbols. Ash cherished his achievements as he would with his own hat.

    “Haven’t you guys heard of the contest in this area?” Drew said in a surprised voice. As he said that Mays face lit up and Misty looked a bit confused.

    “What’s a contest?” Misty asked in a perplexed voice, as she had never heard of these things.

    “Who are you?” Drew asked while pointing at her. “Oh I’m Misty Waterflower, leader of the Cerulean Gym, and thank you for saving me from that bug.” Misty said while shaking his hand. “My pleasure,” Drew said.

    “Anyway, a contest is where you show off your Pokemon and you do cool attack combinations to impress the crowd.” Drew explained to Misty.
    “That sounds good!” Misty exclaimed whiling jumping in the air. “Ash, would you like to enter this contest with me,” Misty asked.

    “All right,” Ash said in a content tone. He seemed to like working with Misty.

    “Did I forget to mention that the contest in this town allows two people to work together on appeals?” Drew said. “I was going to ask May to partner up with me, but I think your much cooler.” Drew said to Misty. As he said that, May’s face got red with anger.

    “Thanks,” Misty said, “But I would rather be partners with Ash.

    “Fine,” Drew mumbled in a disappointed voice. “I’ll just be partners with May.”

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Ash was sitting on a rock with Pikachu while thinking about the recent events. May was teaching Misty on how to do appeals a few miles away while Drew was busy training his Pokemon.

    Ash was happy and disappointed that Misty was back. On one hand, Misty was Ash’s closest friend, and on the other, Misty was Ash’s enemy.

    “Pika,” Pikachu whispered to Ash in a quiet voice.

    “Sure, I’m happy that Misty that Misty back,” Ash said to Pikachu. “But I have a strange feeling that something bad is going to ruin our friendship.”

    “Hey Ash,” cried a familiar voice. Ash turned around and saw May running at him.

    “What’s going on?” Ash asked May.

    “The registration for the contest is about to open!” May said in an excited voice.

    “Well what are we waiting for?” Ash said in his triumphant voice. “Let’s go.”

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    “And now, the contest will begin,” Screamed a woman with brown curly hair while wearing a bright blue shirt.

    The first contestants appealing are none other then May and Drew!” The woman announced as May and Drew stepped up to appeal.

    “Are you ready for this?” Drew asked May.

    “More ready than ever.” May said while taking out a pokeball. “Come on out, Combusken!”
    As May said those words, a bright orange fowl Pokemon appeared. It had sharp claws on its hands and its body resembled a two legged chicken.

    “Flygon, go,” screamed Drew while holding his own Pokeball. At his command, appeared a large green dragonfly like Pokemon with bright green wings and red eyes.

    “Combusken, use fire spin,” May called out to Combusken. At her command, the young fowl managed to whip up a fire like sandstorm. The audience felt the heat wave and started to sweat madly.

    “Now, Flygon, use dragon breath and aim it at the vortex of the fire spin!” Drew yelled at his dragon Pokemon. But before the Flygon was able to use its attack, a large net covered both Flygon and Combusken. Suddenly a large hot air balloon the shape of a feline Pokemons face appeared. And in it were a man and a woman with their English speaking Meouth.

    “Prepare for trouble!”

    “Make it double.”

    “To protect the world from devastation.

    “To unite all peoples within our nation.

    “To denounce the evils of truth and love!

    To extend our reach to the stars above.

    Jessie

    James

    We didn’t appear in the first two chapters so we decided to make a grand appearance in this one!

    Meouth that right!

    Wobbufett!”

    “Team Rocket,” screamed the gang as they knew these bad guys pretty well.

    “Now, Meouth, use the water hose,” screamed the woman with reddish purplish hair.

    “One water hose coming right up,” Meouth shouted in his Brooklyn accent as he pressed a large red button. Suddenly, a bright orange hose came out of the balloon and started spraying at Combusken.

    “What are you doing?!” May screamed to Jessie while trying to protect her Pokemon.

    “We got tired of failing at catching Pikachu,” said the man with bluish hair while clutching a rose. “So we decided to get a different Pokemon this time.”

    Ash was watching Combusken suffer from the hose attack and he decided to do something about it. “Pikachu, use thunder on Team Rocket, Ash commanded to his best friend. But before his pikapal could charge up a spark, a blast of mud came shooting down at the yellow rat.

    “Pikachu,” screamed Pikachu. It tried to charge up a thunder but it failed.

    “We came prepared this time,” said Meouth while Jessie and James laughed. “You don’t think that after years of chasing you, we haven’t learned anything.”

    “Stop chatting and start catching,” Jessie shrieked to Meouth. After she said that, Meouth then set the hose from normal to hydro blast. The impact of the water on Combusken was rather strong and Combusken was getting weaker by the second.

    Suddenly Combusken started to glow a bright white color. It grew bigger and bigger and its form got larger. Then Combusken was replaced by a bright red chicken Pokemon with giant fists placed on each wing.

    May was surprised by this sudden transformation. “Did my Combusken just evolve?”
    Last edited by penngrade6; 19th March 2007 at 10:45 PM.

  21. #21
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    Ummm.... chapter 6? Shouldn't you post chapters three, four and five first? Anyway, the chapter seemed okay. You forgot a few quotation marks, and it could use a bit more description, but it's alright. Till later, xXPorygonXx, out!

    P.S. Why wasn't I PMed?

  22. #22
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    Like Porygon said, I think you're missing a few chapters. :/ Other than that, the story was kind of short, but I'll let it slide.

    Just add a bit more description next time and I'm sure you'll do fine.

    (btw, liked the part with Brock and the magazine! Seemed so much like him! )
    Read and Review my Fic:
    A Journey of Souls


    Banner given to me by my great friend MistyLover, made by the talented AmazingKiss
    Currently Posted: Chapter 18-The Venox Vanishings
    Currently Working On: Chapter 22

  23. #23
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    Oops sorry about me saying this was chapter 6. Don't worry, you didn't miss anything, that was just a typo.

    I'm working on the next chapter and I will tell you in advance, it is going to be a little short, as all it is is the gang finishing the contest. The name for this chapter will be Contest

    But the chapter after that will be considerably longer and it involves one of Ash's old flying Pokemon we all love he promised he'd come back for.     Spoiler:- SPOILER:
    The name for thhis chapter will be Poacher

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