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Thread: ~A weird love story (dunno what else to call it,AAML!)PG-13 or 12A

  1. #1
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    Talking ~A weird love story (dunno what else to call it,AAML!)PG-13 or 12A

    uhh,yay!This is my first fic,well on serebii anyways,i have more!
    Enjoy
    This is PG-13 or 12A for those in the UK,Like meeee!
    I'd say ash and misty are 16 and Brock is 18 and Duplica..17?lol
    Here we go!
    oh,by da way,review or i wont put any other fantastic fics!k they arent fantastic but,yah know!
    OK,here we go!!!!!
    A weird Love story!

    "ASH!YOU IDIOT!YOU GOT US LOST!!"

    "I DID NOT MISTY!I JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE IM GOING AND I DON'T THINK I RECOGNISE THIS PLACE,THAT'S ALL!"

    "OH ASH,THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT LOST MEANS!"

    As usual,Ash and Misty were having one of their famous fights!
    But they stopped when Misty suddenly held her tummy in pain and fell down.

    "MISTY!Are you ok?What happened?"Asked Ash.

    Brock whispered in her ear,and then Misty blushed and said,You think?!

    "Huh?You think what?!"Said Ash.

    "Uhhh,never mind!"Said Misty.

    Misty blushed even more,she was still clutching her stomach,she yelped in pain again.

    "Ahh!Misty,i think you should get a doctor!"Said Ash concerned for his friend.

    Misty laughed.

    "Oh Ash,its fine!"

    She screamed in pain again and Ash still looked very concerned.

    They reached a place that seemed very familiar,with a very familiar girl with greenish,
    turquoisy hair.

    'DUPLICA!!'They all shouted.

    'AHHHH!IT'S YOU STALKERS AGAIN,GET AWAY!I WILL NOT 'DO IT' WITH YOU!!!'She suddenly exclaimed.

    Misty went to her.

    'Umm,Duplica,first of all,we are not stalkers,second of all i am a girl,Thirdly,you are NOT a
    lesbian hopefully,fourthly,i will NOT do it with you,fifthly,do you have any idea who we are,
    umm,sixthly i think the whole world could hear you!Lastly,ARE YOU INSANE!'Shouted Misty,her
    stomach still held in her arms.

    'OH!I'm sooo sorry Misty.I thought you were stalkers!Hehe,anyway...GASP!ARE YOU PREGNANT!'She
    gasped refering to Misty clutching her tummy.

    'HEY!NO I AM NOT!I think i..'She started then she made facial signs at Duplica hoping she
    would get the message.

    'OH,YOUR PERIODS!!!'

    'DUPLICA!'

    'Oh,sorry!Hehe!'

    Ash just just stood silently gaping at them.

    'Hehe,i bet you still like Ash don't you,of course everybody knows!'Duplica said loud enough for
    them to hear,and of course making Ash and Misty blush.

    'T tha thh that is n not tr tru true!!!'Stammered Misty

    'Oh,yes,they've fancied each other ever since they met!'Said Brock,liking where this was going.

    'DUPLICA!'Screamed Misty.

    'Oh,sorry,lets talk in my room,alone,we'll talk about boys!And of course,you crushing on Ash!!
    Boys,you just make yourselves at home,call me if you need anything!'She said,dragging Misty to her
    room.

    Ash still stared at them,blushing,while Brock grinned,he REALLY liked where this was going!

    ~In Duplica's room!'

    'Duplica,i just got here and i dont feel very welcome!'Said Misty.

    'Oh,im sorry,do you want anything to eat or drink?'Asked Duplica.

    'NO!Duplica,i don't like Ash,and he probably doesnt like me,'She mumbled.

    'C'mon,i know how you feel!Hey,do you know what you need?!'

    'What?'

    'SANITARY TOWELS!'

    Misty stared at her like she was crazy.

    'Sanitary towels?Huh?Why?'Misty asked.

    ''Caz your holding your tummy,and i think you REALLY need one!!!
    Ahhh!Hurry Misty,i have some right here,go into my bathroom,if you need anything just call me!'She said holding a packet of 'Whispers,the product of the year!'

    'AHHH!!The pain!'Yelped Misty.

    'Misty,hurry,take the product of the year and get in the bathroom!'Duplica yelled.

    'FINE!No need to shout,everyone can probably hear you!'Yelled Misty,while going into the bathroom.


    And the boys heard ALL of it!


    'Uhhhh,wow?'Said Ash.

    'Ash,i think its time i had 'the talk' with you!'Said Brock suddenly.

    'WHAT!NO!I ALREADY HAD 'THE TALK' WITH MY PARENTS,I CAN'T FACE IT AGAIN!NO!DONT TALK ABOUT SEX!'

    'WOULD YOU SHUT UP!NO!Not 'that talk'well not exactly,about sex but about love,'

    'Uhhh,whyyyy???'Asked Ash.

    'Because,you are a young growing boy,in puberty and you will experience all sorts of changes...'

    'AHHH!NO!I HAD THAT TALK TOO!DONT MAKE ME FACE IT AGAIN!'

    'Shut up!Im gonna talk to you about crushes,Misty likes you,and you like her and you need advice from a
    professional expert like myself!'He said.

    'Uhhh,i do?How do you know?!Just caz i feel goofy around her...'Ash said quietly.

    'AHA!Yes,you love her!Oh yeh baby!wooo!!!That is a sign you like her,and you can't get her out
    of your head and your head spins,weee!Oh yes,your in love!'

    'You're not gonna sing a cheesy song now are you?'Ash asked.

    'Yes!'He exclaimed.

    (Brock begins to sing so lets see how the girls are doing until he finishes^_^!)



    'Misty,it does't take this long to put on a sanitary towel!'



    (Oh dear!They are still going about it!)

    'Hey,its tricky to get on!'Misty shouted.


    ~Half an hour later...~


    'FINALLY!You are out!Hey,what's that terrible sound?'Duplica asked.

    'I think its Brock..singing?!'Misty said surprisingly.

    'Lets go and see,'


    They went outside to see Brock sing,then he finished.

    'So,do you like it?'He asked everyone.

    Everyone sweatdropped.

    People murmured things like'Uhhh' and 'Yeah?'.
    But Ash managed to let out a 'ARE YOU CRAZY?!IT DOESNT TAKE A FLIPPING HALF HOUR TO SING A SONG!'

    Brock had tears in his eyes although you really couldn't tell!^_^

    'Anyways...'Said Misty.

    'Misty,are you ok now?'Asked Ash

    'AWWW!Your boyfriend cares for you!See Misty,i told you he likes you!'Said Duplica Happily.

    'GRRRRRRR!'Growled Ash and Misty and they locked Duplica up in a cupboard.

    'DUPLICA!MY LOVE!NOOOOO!'Shouted Brock.

    Ash and Misty locked him in the cupboard with Duplica.

    'There,that should do it!'Said Ash.

    Ash and Misty looked a each other,and slowly,they leaned forward to each other and kissed
    each other's lips gently.Brock and Duplica we're looking through the door.

    'Yes!'Duplica whispered.'Isn't this great?!..Brock?'

    But Brock was looking at her chest..¬_¬

    'BROCK!AHHH!PERVERT!AHH ITS THE STALKER!GET OUT PERVERTED STALKER!'She screamed which
    made Ash and Misty look.Duplica chased Brock out of the cupboard and the ran out.
    Ash and Misty just shrugged at each other.

    'I wonder what happened there..'Said Ash.

    'Brock scared her off,anyway,i love you!'

    'I love you too!'

    And they went back to making out on the couch!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    YAY!ok,review otherwose,no more 'fantastic' fics!
    Leya

    ~I am nobody,nobody is perfect therefore i am perfect
    God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece

  2. #2

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    Lmao that was soooo funny, though sanitary towels make anything funny in a story. Please make more of these, they make this forum a lot more interesting! Your punctuation and spacing need a little work, and I would put the rating up a little bit, just to be on the safe side. Pm me when you have a new one up!
    credit to PkMnPwNs1991 for the tc and ipoke

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default

    Hey StarCup! This is an o.k start for a fic. Its kind of funny, but the spacing needs work

    After you end a sentence, you should space after the puncuation. The same goes for commas. I also saw that you didn't capitialise I.

    And for the dialogue, at first it started with "', but then you changed it to ' ' Choose which one to use and stick with it.

    And well, it was also kind of rushed. On the first chapter, Ash and Misty already confessed their love for eachother. But I do like how you brought back Duplica. '-'

    Just work on those things, and edit your chapter, and your all set. This story has great potential, so please put me on the PM List!

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    thanks everyone,glad you enjoyed it!It was kinda rushed but i tried to make it funny
    Demonic dialga,on the list
    penngrade6,you too!
    Leya

    ~I am nobody,nobody is perfect therefore i am perfect
    God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece

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