Quote Originally Posted by purple_drake View Post
A/N: *gasp* can this be what I think it is? PD is updating early! Everybody dance!
*dances*

Yay, the new chappie and early too(something you can't say about me>__>I'm late), now I have to say, this chapter was much more fun than the previous one, even if it was a lot like the original, I still loved it for some reason, guess this chapter had some interesting bits^-^

Now this certainly is a great chapter, and I think it is good to start with Keegan gaping at the celadon university, It seems a very good start to me for a chapter.

This comment about that happening was my particular favorite:

Quote Originally Posted by purple_drake View Post
leaving Keegan to wonder whether gym leaders ever actually showed up—she remembered what had come of her going out to look for Morty in Ecruteak.
Now inside the university(which is almost the whole chapter, I think>___<) was also very funny, as the middle-aged man behind the desk, correcting her like in school, ultimately funny in my opinion^-^

I liked the way you portrayed Keegan when she entered class, I could imagine it, spoiled teenagers that brag about their pokemon and skills, and then suddenly noticing a rather dirty trainer(compared to them^-^) and begin to scowl, anyway, everything was perfect

The talk with Erika was also good, it just shows how a trainer feels to talk alone with someone who is your superior(is that spelled right>__<I don't think so?) in many ways.

Now, what really caught my interest in this chapter was the battle between Keegan and Tynan. (I love action, so battles are probably the things that excite me the most in a chapter^-^')

I knew Tynan would make a return in the revised version, although I couldn't remember his pokemon which currently leads me to conclude that he has two pokemon at his disposal; Flareon and Murkrow(the latter only shortly introduced towards the end^-^). Even if Tynan is somewhat an opposite to Keegan, the fact that he has Flareon and she Vaporeon and Eevee makes them similar in training pokemon(also, if my memory isnt playng tricks on me 'Brother' is going to team up with him to get back Tarn, right?)

now the battle was amazingly put, the description was flawless, and the humor was good(mainly the 'little fox' side of Keegan amused me^-^)

Quote Originally Posted by purple_drake View Post

Not fair, he didn’t even give her a chance to get out of her pokéball!

Don’t complain, you didn’t exactly play fair when you dumped sleeping powder all over the Rockets.

Oh, shut up.



and


But she really looks like she knows what she’d doing,[/I] the little fox pointed out as Hazel skidded to a guarded halt, ears twitching as she panted and Flareon rolled back onto its feet. And how do you know she doesn’t know any long-range attacks?

Keegan’s eyes widened. That’s right… she could have learned any attacks, before—
very amusing^-^

Now, one little thing that I didn't like is that Shadow Ball AND Dig were introduced in the same battle(I'd say one is fine, but two is somewhat much(I certainly can live with it, I mean, it's not like she used five totally new moves in one battle)), it was just something that occurred to me, please don't let it bother you^-^'

Now some personal commentary^-^:

Tynan seems to me that his talented, rich, and spoiled but has a very calculating mind, and deems weak trainers useless(although that is just a thought that arised, could be that he is a little nice but hasn't shown his kinder streak yet, all posibilities). 'Brother' the pokemon that he maybe was going to get was also a little rebelling no? I recall him as caring brother and wants Tarn back and he'll probably disobey orders if he's in danger or something.

Keegan was very amusing in this chapter, being a little clumsy, didn't really know what she was doing, but was also quite calculating and has a vast amount of trust in her pokemon(I was a little disappointed we didn't get to see Firefoot and Tarn(I keep forgetting that Firefoot is now an Arcanine adn I still think of him like a playful, puppy pokemon^-^'))

Erika seems very good to me, although I always imagined her as a soft person, but sometimes she sounded very firm and maybe a little stern, nothing bad though^-^A little disappointed again that we didn't get to see any of her pokemon, and I certainly hope she'll introduce some in future chapters.

Questions:

1. Will Alyssa or any other school girl reappear in other chapters?

2. What is the next direction Keegan goes?(I'd guess Vermillion to go on a ship and sail to Hoenn)

3. Will Keegan get a new pokemon soon, or will it take some time?

4.(elaborated from previous question) If she gets a new pokemon, will it be an egg, a wild pokemon, a gift or something else?

5. Will Tynan follow Keegan around for very long or is he simply using her as a compass of sorts?

6. Will Tynan follow Keegan all the way to Hoenn?

7. Will Keegan eventually get a travelling partner?

well, that rounds it up, I'd say, keep it going purple-drake, this was a brilliant chapter...

'till next time

~Aimi Hanako~