But the legends-damned sky-water washed away any chance of picking up that familiar and loathed scent, warm and spicy, tempered by the tang of salt.
Nice description of that scent. ^^
The abrupt howl made Tynan recoil in surprise as a darting figure of yellow and pitch-black exploded from the foliage lining the thin path. The young man swore heavily, instinctively dodging away from it with soggy footsteps, casting up sheets of mulch and water.
The figure—
an umbreon?! Tynan thought incredulously—skidded across the width of the track, fur bristling wildly and fangs bared in a snarl, its tail and swept-back ears quivering with hostility. Without pausing for breath it launched itself at Tynan in a flurry of leaves.
****!
"****!" indeed--I imagine it would indeed be pretty frightening to have a creature just burst out the bushes and pounce like that. o_o;
The umbreon came down on soft paws, head drawn back as shadows built in its throat, wisped over its muzzle, and Tynan’s heart jolted in recognition.
Shadow Ball—
Ah, Shadow Ball... It's one of those attacks that tends to look really good in text, in my opinion, as it did there. ^^
With a hiss through gritted teeth which may or may not have been a curse Tynan jerked instinctively back to avoid the umbreon who sailed past, boots kicking up mulch as he twisted to follow the pokémon’s path, a red-and-white pokéball in his hand and pitched before the umbreon had landed.
It was a second after that that he realized the pokéball he’d just thrown was empty.
****!
XD Nice one, Tynan . X3 Oh, and my brain made sure to supply a nice "wah-wahhhhh..." noise upon my reading about his little blooper there. X3
The Dragon Clan was very secretive about their techniques, the martial clans less so;
but the ninjas tended to practise on visiting trainers.
Perhaps it's sadistic of me to say so, but I couldn't help but find that to be awesome. X3
His rain-slick boots slipped on the polished floor when he tried to take the first corner, and with an automatic oath on his lips his hands shot out to snatch for balance. As if on cue there came a howl of warning from Marowak, a second before something hard hit the back of Tynan’s knees, making them buckle.
“Sh—”
He was cut off by an explosion of breath when he hit the floorboards, automatically curling over the twinging shoulder which had landed first. “Maro— the hell—?!” he gasped, head aching slightly with the abrupt change in position.
“Mmmrr,” Marowak rumbled, pointing his bone into the airspace above his trainer. With a slight huff Tynan rolled half onto his back, feet slipping as he tried to push himself up, shoving his bag aside—and finally saw the twinkle of the electrified spinarak web suspended at what had been his chest height.
What… the…? He stared dumbly, unable to reconcile the sight as truth, unable to accept that the ninjas had actually set a trap so dangerous for him. Trick panels and smoke bombs were all well and good, but outright
electrocution…?!
Wow... a reason to actually be
glad if a Marowak (not a "Markwak" as I'd initially typed, although I now have something of an urge to name the next male Marowak that I obtain "Mark" XD) chucks a bone at you! X3 That was quite a smart and considerate move on Marowak's part. ^^ And that was quite a nasty trap indeed from which Tynan (not "Tynana" as I'd initially typed, which I suspect would be something along the lines of a banana that happens to have a face like Tynan's O.o XD) was narrowly saved. o.o
“Mmarrr!” Marowak jabbed him impatiently on the shoulder, causing the young man to automatically jerk away with a hiss when the club hit developing bruises, snapping him out of his disbelief.
XD Again, I like that Marowak. ^^
He only made the first few steps before Marowak stopped him with an out-thrust paw and a terse grunt. Unthinkingly the trainer froze in place, chest clenching in sudden apprehension and eyes darting around the passageway to find what had given Marowak pause. With a practised flick the dinosaur-like pokémon sent his bone spinning end-over-end down the hall, ripping through glittering spinarak silk with sparks of severed currents, threads trailing like banners behind it. The club struck the wall at the far end of the corridor, dropping to the floor with a clatter and making Tynan twitch.
That was cool, I thought. ^^ I especially liked the image of the sparks flying as the bone tore through those electrified spinarak webs. ^^
A floorboard stirred beneath his foot and his stomach dropped as he froze for the second time in under a minute.
You must be joking.
“Marowak…”
Good God, that could
not be his voice—his voice wasn’t that high, and his voice didn’t
shake—
XD
“Trrrrrrzzzz…”
A high buzz filled the hall, the air almost seeming to vibrate with the sound, counterpointed by the clatter of many round bodies against wood.
Tynan’s back prickled wildly with fearful anticipation, his boots pounding the floor in unison with his heart against his ribs, but he resisted the urge to look back; he knew what they were.
Voltorb! Why the hell did it have to be voltorb—they’re ****ing Bomb Balls
Oh ****... o_o; Yeah, generally speaking, Voltorb showing up is definitely a cue to GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. X3
I liked that; it really emphasized the frantic pace of the Voltorb scene, I thought. ^^
He pushed himself to go faster, his bag dragging at his shoulder and coat flapping behind him, Marowak’s pattering footfalls an accompaniment to the thud of Tynan’s steps
and the slight whisper of dragging silk as it clung to their feet.
Nice attention to detail. ^^
Red-faced, Tynan rolled over clumsily, scrabbling into the small room and shoving the hidden door closed with his feet as Marowak darted in, snatching up his bone club when he swept past where it lay. The trainer caught a glimpse of the red-and-white mob packing the corridor beyond—
I was right, they’re voltorb—and his stomach twisted violently with a terrifying realization—
it’s not gonna stop them, it didn’t stop me and it won’t stop them and they’ll explode and I’m a goner—automatically scrambling back from the crackling juggernaut.
Yep, I would definitely say that Voltorb belong on the list of things by which I would
not want to be chased... o_o; And I liked the way Tynan's thoughts are written there; I thought it really made it seem like their pace was quickened by fear.
“Mmrrr,” Marowak grunted, accompanied by the scrape of tough hide on timber, and Tynan took a deep, shaky breath, deliberately pushing away the thought of just how close he’d been to those explosions.
****, but they didn’t teach me anything about this at the University!
XD
I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I decided to do this, he thought bitterly as he bent down to scoop up his bag.
These people are nuts. That Keegan girl is nuts. The League
is ****ing nuts!
XD Yep, Tynan's mind certainly amused the heck out of me in that chapter. X3
“Mmaarraww!”
Something hit him on the back of the legs and Tynan jumped, his heart leaping to his throat as he whirled around, his penlight wavering over an impatient-looking Marowak. The dinosaur pokémon grunted as though to say ‘finally!’, pointing impatiently with his bone at the opposite wall.
For a moment Tynan couldn’t see what the big deal was, but then the beam from his penlight played over the wood in just the right way and he saw the fracture-thin shadow that was the seam between door and jamb. He resisted the urge to slap his head, feeling his cheeks warm in embarrassment.
A second door. I should’ve thought of that.
XD Indeed. And yet again I say, I LIKE THAT MAROWAK.
“It’s just that it’s usually the trainer who commands the pokémon, rather than the other way around.”
What the ****ing hell does that mean?!
It means, Tynan, that if it weren't for Marowak and his ability to keep his wits about him when you couldn't, your *** would have been grass. X3
Janine shook the pokéstar at the dinosaur, the pokémon watching her carefully. “
He’s the one making the decisions—he’s the one who warned you about the ariados webs, he’s the one who blocked the door, he’s the one who got you out of the antechamber, all without
your help.”
The turquoise-haired boy flushed, opening his mouth to defend himself, but Janine wasn’t finished. “He’s the one who’s done just about everything, and you’ve just been following
his lead.”
Quoted for truth.
Holding his breath and blinking rapidly against the thick, ashy haze, Tynan pulled hard at his restraints. With only a little pressure they snapped, charred and weakened by Flareon’s downplayed Will-O-Wisp. He shook them off, counting himself lucky that it
had been Flareon. He had spent a lot of time training with the eeveelution to maximise his speed and efficiency by preparing moves while still in the pokéball and taking advantage of their opponents’ delays and his own attacks.
He chose to ignore the similarity in that method with the ninja’s own techniques.
X3
“We need an exit,” he said hoarsely, the lightly burned skin of his face pulling slightly as he spoke.
Preferably not the one we came in by.
Marowak snorted in an ‘well that’s obvious’ manner, his bone returning to him in a waft of smoke and slapping into his paw.
Marowak's response was great, I thought. X3
The ariados shot a thread to the ceiling, gliding upwards on a glistening cord of silk and avoiding the worst of the flames. There came a puff of embers as the bone came hurtling from the roiling streamer of fire, echoed by a blaze of sparks as Flareon exploded out in a Quick Attack, fur ablaze with red and gold veins of fire.
Nice imagery. ^^
Then: “Protect!” he roared to both his pokémon as Marowak caught his bone with a grunt and Flareon landed on a patch of cleared floor, primly shaking ash off his paws. Two heads cocked towards their trainer in response to his order, and then the corner was cast with double films of fragmented green light.
A second later the first one rippled and shattered beneath the pounding of sludge bombs, purple gunk splattering over wood and web. The second hummed and splintered the way of the other as Pin Missiles hailed down upon it, but shards of light fizzled to nothingness only on shimmering silk, the panel in the wall swinging ever so slightly and the sound of running footsteps muffled by thick walls.
More nice imagery, and also a nice escape on the part of Tynan and his Pokémon. ^^
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Originally Posted by purple_drake
Step by step plan for late reviews
