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Thread: The Gangs of London (NC-17)

  1. #101
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    I really enjoyed this chapter, it was well written (as always ^o^) and plenty of action. (I'm betting the guy in May's pendant is Jun/Barry :8)
    One thing struck me as strange, though- in earlier chapters, Paul seemed to be a loving husband toward Dawn (well, at least that's what I thought), and the way he was talking about Dawn to the American man seemed rather scathing to me (no pun intended ^^;; ). Ah well, I tend to over-think things =P.
    Anyway, it was a really great chapter, and I can't wait for the next one!
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  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by mayloverxxx View Post
    Lol. This chapter was really good!
    As I've said before , I love your writting skills and you definately put them to good use!
    I just cant believe how paul treats dawn !:O He doesn't deserve her! He's definately gona be in shock when he comes back; especially with may staying over.lol.
    The whole thing with the guy in the pendant? I hope ur gona go more into that later. Is that the same guy may said she slept wid at a club? Is he just like drew( judging from the pic, his cocky smile)?
    And is there gona be more contestshipping??? hope so lol
    keep up da amazing work!!!!
    yay mayloverxxx! you are the first person to mention the photo in May's pendant. I will state this now, the guy is not the person who May slept with at the club, that person was a one-off and means nothing to her. the person in the pendant has been mentioned but not in detail...^^

    he is very similar to Drew in attitude but that is all i am saying lol. You're very right, Paul doesn't deserve Dawn but she loves him. thank you so much for the lovely comment hun

    Quote Originally Posted by Saiyajin-Neko View Post
    and that she got saved by the locket! Who's that Blond guy? (Doo doo doooooo) Awesome. And then she gets robbed, way to go May, what a great day, eh? Poor poooor May.

    Paul, now....I wanna say if Drew knew that his cousin hits Dawn, he would probably get sooooo mad. I mean, I can just imagine him protecting her in the middle. He walks in while Paul is about to hit her, or beat on her more than he has, and she is in tears, and Drew would be like, "I don't think so" *Smack*

    So now May is living with the both of them, which isn't so bad at the moment I suppose. I'm worried about Dawn's husband coming back now, I was all "Yay then what will happen?" But now the future is glimpsed, I am scared for our blue heroin.

    I find it funny that the gun was on that safety latch, it's very very strange, hehe. And I'm amused at Drew's "Almost guilty".

    Anyway can't wait for the next chapter, wheeeeee.
    ooh thankies hun, this comment was fab to read! I know, May didn't have the best of days lol. Through all his faults, Drew can't stand domestic violence and you are very right that if he found out that Paul hit Dawn he would go mad.
    Scared for out blue heroin? ya should be lol. oh and Drew couldn't possibly be fully guilty lol. Thanks for the comment hunni


    Quote Originally Posted by Liberty4Pokemon
    I really enjoyed this chapter, it was well written (as always ^o^) and plenty of action. (I'm betting the guy in May's pendant is Jun/Barry :8)
    One thing struck me as strange, though- in earlier chapters, Paul seemed to be a loving husband toward Dawn (well, at least that's what I thought), and the way he was talking about Dawn to the American man seemed rather scathing to me (no pun intended ^^;; ). Ah well, I tend to over-think things =P.
    Anyway, it was a really great chapter, and I can't wait for the next one!
    damn...you thought Paul seemed like a loving husband? I tried to hint at the way he treated her by the scene when Paul throws Dawn to the floor after she barracades herself in their room and she throws her arms in front of her face in fear - she expected him to hit her. He wasn't scathing as such to Jenkins, but very "superior" as though Dawn was just his girl and should behave, rather than being her own person.
    anyways, thankies very much for the comment, but who on earth is Jun/Berry??? lol
    Last edited by CuteDrew667; 10th July 2007 at 1:05 AM.

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  3. #103
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    Ive got an idea who it might be now but i dont want to say in case it spoils it for other people. Looking forward to when you put up the next chappy though ^_^

  4. #104
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    Answering quetion....beep:

    but who on earth is Jun/Berry??? lol
    SUPR AWESOME!Rival from game Pokemon D/P. Hope it helps.XD

    AND!

    Awesome chapter, girl!

    Much Contest, yay! AND MAY DIDN'T DIE, I THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS GONNA DIE. *exasparated sigh*

    Anyways, please, please continue the Contest love...I need more Contest in my life, dammit. PLEASE~

    Last edited by honey_clover112; 10th July 2007 at 1:29 PM.


    renami ++ says:
    JULIAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    renami ++ says:
    WILL YOU MARRY ME
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    UM KAY I'LL MARRY YOU
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    ILU
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    WAIT WTF I HAVE A LOT OF ADMIRERS

  5. #105
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    Excellent chapter. Honestly I have no words to say about it. It's too bad May dosen't remember anything from last night. And I wonder who that boy is on her pendant. I believe she mentioned him once.....oh and I thought the "sex" moment was funny where May thought Drew slept w/ her. lol. Anyway, keep it up and I look forward to your next chappie.
    May-I love him
    Drew-They hate me
    Sarah-Forget about me
    My fanfic, Triangles, soon to be up on Fanfiction.net

  6. #106

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    Very nice chap! It felt shorter than the others though, but I liked it nonetheless! I really don't get why Dawn loves Paul though, you kinda hafta explain what exactly makes him so appealing to her...and also Drew's interactions with May seemed a little too soft...maybe that's just me craving his bad guy rep ^.^ but more DawnxDrew love please! And also explain more on why Drew seems to be so at odds with Misty, I feel sorry for her
    Also Ash is straight right? 0.o that would kinda scar me if he wasn't lol!
    Please write the next chapter soon!!

  7. #107
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    Talking Oo-err!

    Very good chapter indeeeedie! I just wish that Drew was a bit nicer though. Gay Ash? Haha, made my day x]]
    This sucks. Change the signature

    Check out my fanfiction on Fanfiction.net! It's Contestshippyalicious ^^ And bloody long, too!
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  8. #108
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    Erm...no surprise or anything...but...I also thought paul was a loving guy -_- oops. you revealed a bunch of things i was certainly looking forward to.
    May-I love him
    Drew-They hate me
    Sarah-Forget about me
    My fanfic, Triangles, soon to be up on Fanfiction.net

  9. #109
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    CuteDrew667, I'm not very good when it comes to reviewing(perhaps because I haven't reviewed in like ever), so brace yourself for something bad.

    Anyways, when I first came upon your fic, I was bored and there seemed to be nothing to do, so I wasted my time looking through the shipping fics section to see if perhaps the fanfics I was currently in had made a new chapter or something. And that's when I noticed Gangs of London. At first, I simply glanced at the title before scrolling down the page. But then, for days, I noticed that this fanfic stayed at the top, meaning it got many reviews. But then, so did a lot of other fanfics I didn't particularly like.

    But finally, I broke. And curiosity got the best of me. I ventured in to this fanfic, wondering what the title would have to do with the fanfic. And how the fanfic would reflect the title itself. I was surprised to see Hikari/Dawn being the main character. It's not very often that she is(I think).

    But there was something else about this fanfic that drew me in. The starting, the setting, the emotion. I was pulled in to a story where it seemed like Drew and Paul were murderers. Instantly, I felt Dawn's pain, seeing her future husband and his cousin standing before the body of a classmate. And I felt her pain when she was threatened to keep it a secret. Now, she has to live in a house with her cousin and (what I think) crazed husband. I'm surprised she hasn't gone mad yet.

    I followed your fanfic then, whenever I saw your name under the last posting, I checked if the fanfic was updated. And whenever it was, I got excited just to see what would happen next. CuteDrew667, I swear, at the end of every chapter, you make me want to literally shake the computer, asking for more. And before I knew it, I was addicted.

    I loved your characters, I loved your writing, I loved your story. And after reading the last chap, I knew it wouldn't be fair if I stayed a silent reader. Reviews are fun to read(plus, I wanted to be on the PM list. XDDD).

    I don't read many fanfics now, probably two, but plus yours that makes three. Since I am always eagerly awaiting your next chap, I was wondering if I could be on the PM list, it would be great if I could be. That way, I wouldn't have to keep checking back. And I'll review whenever I can.

    Here's to an awesome fanfic(which frankly, I'm surprised that it isn't centered around contestshipping like your other fanfics, but DawnXDrew is getting to me. XD)
    ~*Uza-chan's Good bye*~

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  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by BeautyIsInTheLove View Post
    Excellent chapter. Honestly I have no words to say about it. It's too bad May dosen't remember anything from last night. And I wonder who that boy is on her pendant. I believe she mentioned him once.....oh and I thought the "sex" moment was funny where May thought Drew slept w/ her. lol. Anyway, keep it up and I look forward to your next chappie.
    Thankies for the comment hun and i am glad you found the Drew/May scene funny as i like to add humour into a story even if it is dominantly a serious plot. xx

    Quote Originally Posted by pikashipper4eva View Post
    Very nice chap! It felt shorter than the others though, but I liked it nonetheless! I really don't get why Dawn loves Paul though, you kinda hafta explain what exactly makes him so appealing to her...and also Drew's interactions with May seemed a little too soft...maybe that's just me craving his bad guy rep ^.^ but more DawnxDrew love please! And also explain more on why Drew seems to be so at odds with Misty, I feel sorry for her
    Also Ash is straight right? 0.o that would kinda scar me if he wasn't lol!
    Please write the next chapter soon!!
    yes i know that this chapter was shorter but that was inevitable since i can't always keep to a single chapter without making it too long or giving too much of the plot away without meaning too by referring to things that I should keep until later to extend the length. Dawn is smitten with Paul, and is in denial about the way that he treats her, due to her love for him. If Drew found out about the way his cousin treats his wife, then he would not live to tell the tale. but Dawn keeps it to herself because she doesn't want to admit it to anyone, because then it would be admitting it to herself. Sorry...I'm getting carried away.
    Drew is at odds with Misty for the pure reason that he cheated on her, and with Ash makes it even worse. He hates Ash for reasons that will be explained further into Gangs of London, and also resented Misty for being pregnant in the first place because she will be an unfit mopther in his eyes. Ash is straight, Drew thinks about the asumption he made that Ash was gay. but his asumption was wrong. Thanks for the comment

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzamaki Hinata View Post
    CuteDrew667, I'm not very good when it comes to reviewing(perhaps because I haven't reviewed in like ever), so brace yourself for something bad.

    Anyways, when I first came upon your fic, I was bored and there seemed to be nothing to do, so I wasted my time looking through the shipping fics section to see if perhaps the fanfics I was currently in had made a new chapter or something. And that's when I noticed Gangs of London. At first, I simply glanced at the title before scrolling down the page. But then, for days, I noticed that this fanfic stayed at the top, meaning it got many reviews. But then, so did a lot of other fanfics I didn't particularly like.

    But finally, I broke. And curiosity got the best of me. I ventured in to this fanfic, wondering what the title would have to do with the fanfic. And how the fanfic would reflect the title itself. I was surprised to see Hikari/Dawn being the main character. It's not very often that she is(I think).

    But there was something else about this fanfic that drew me in. The starting, the setting, the emotion. I was pulled in to a story where it seemed like Drew and Paul were murderers. Instantly, I felt Dawn's pain, seeing her future husband and his cousin standing before the body of a classmate. And I felt her pain when she was threatened to keep it a secret. Now, she has to live in a house with her cousin and (what I think) crazed husband. I'm surprised she hasn't gone mad yet.

    I followed your fanfic then, whenever I saw your name under the last posting, I checked if the fanfic was updated. And whenever it was, I got excited just to see what would happen next. CuteDrew667, I swear, at the end of every chapter, you make me want to literally shake the computer, asking for more. And before I knew it, I was addicted.

    I loved your characters, I loved your writing, I loved your story. And after reading the last chap, I knew it wouldn't be fair if I stayed a silent reader. Reviews are fun to read(plus, I wanted to be on the PM list. XDDD).

    I don't read many fanfics now, probably two, but plus yours that makes three. Since I am always eagerly awaiting your next chap, I was wondering if I could be on the PM list, it would be great if I could be. That way, I wouldn't have to keep checking back. And I'll review whenever I can.

    Here's to an awesome fanfic(which frankly, I'm surprised that it isn't centered around contestshipping like your other fanfics, but DawnXDrew is getting to me. XD)
    Uzamaki Hinata...you have put me at a loss for words. Honestly, I am so, so flattered. I can't summon words to describe how this review made me feel. You reviewed so articulately and it was so touching. The way you brought to light how many people you thought liked the story from the fact that it stayed at the top filled me with pride and the fact that you liked it enough to review when you don't read many fics is so lovely to know.
    The fact that you recognised Dawn's pain and felt it from my writing is an incredible compliment so thank you so much. I feel so inadequate for this praise, so thank you
    ...and of course you can be on the PM list, hehe

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  11. #111
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    Hey i bet you can't guess who this is.....no honestly you won't get it (cuz my name doesn't give it away)but hi

    Okay i have no idea where i am up to with your fic....so now i have to fish through the board and try and find it lol

    Okay so i read Chapter 5....i love how you put Dita and Christina into it....many thanks and the "side" made me laugh "which side...there are twenty ****ing sides" XD

    It is really good,love it bab!


    Oh sorry i have to ask but will Alejandro be crashing through the ceiling any time soon? XXD


    I can guarantee no one else on here will have any idea what i am talking about...probably think i'm some crazy person who happens to know the author of this story........wait......that is true i am a crazy person who does know the author of this story haha! I'm going to shut up now....
    Last edited by Encyclopika; 2nd August 2007 at 2:49 PM. Reason: double post

  12. #112
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    Uzamaki Hinata...you have put me at a loss for words. Honestly, I am so, so flattered. I can't summon words to describe how this review made me feel. You reviewed so articulately and it was so touching. The way you brought to light how many people you thought liked the story from the fact that it stayed at the top filled me with pride and the fact that you liked it enough to review when you don't read many fics is so lovely to know.
    The fact that you recognised Dawn's pain and felt it from my writing is an incredible compliment so thank you so much. I feel so inadequate for this praise, so thank you
    ...and of course you can be on the PM list, hehe
    awwww, that makes me feel so special, hah hah. Man, I didn't know my review meant so much, I am so coming back to review! XD

    But thanks CD!

    And yay, I'm on the PM list, can't wait for the next chap!
    ~*Uza-chan's Good bye*~

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  13. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Khaos_Lamour View Post
    Hey i bet you can't guess who this is.....no honestly you won't get it (cuz my name doesn't give it away)but hi

    Okay i have no idea where i am up to with your fic....so now i have to fish through the board and try and find it lol
    My name completely conceals my identity too... (and after reading yours and Samantha's go at a... Different approach to Chapter 5, I know exactly who this is)
    Quote Originally Posted by Khaos_Lamour View Post
    Okay so i read Chapter 5....i love how you put Dita and Christina into it....many thanks and the "side" made me laugh "which side...there are twenty ****ing sides" XD

    It is really good,love it bab!


    Oh sorry i have to ask but will Alejandro be crashing through the ceiling any time soon? XXD


    I can guarantee no one else on here will have any idea what i am talking about...probably think i'm some crazy person who happens to know the author of this story........wait......that is true i am a crazy person who does know the author of this story haha! I'm going to shut up now....
    I would like to give some filler info for people who don't understand the mentality these to can share. Alejandro is a character the girls made for a mock way of chapter 5. Which I must say made me spit out whatever I was drinking. He is " a huge, muscular, Spanish man" that liked swimming in bowls with May. (I'm gonna stop now with him, before I get brought to the looneybin too. (Notice why both Samantha and Khaos have both disappeared for days...) But in fairness, I'll leave Khaos' real identity and introduction to Samantha cause if I introduce her bezzie b4 her on her fanfic review page, I know I have better chance surviving a shark attack when covered in fish blood. So shh, on that part... Oops, here come the men in white coats... I'll be back a few days after i've filed my case for sanity. Samantha and our mystery reviewer Khaos should be back soon.

    Don't you just love morphine...? *falls asleep and is dragged away, stowed in a van and driven off to a safe location*

  14. #114
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    Well, this is the first time I've written the review for a FanFiction which really got me absorbed from the beginning. I come from Vietnam and I sometimes read FanFics to improve my English Reading skills. I didn't intend to write any review because I was afraid that my bad writing wouldn't describe the amazing things from your stories somehow. But when I began to read your The Gangs Of London, there was something urging my heart to write this review

    I really love the TV Shows like One Tree Hill or Desperate Housewives so when I come across a FanFiction whose genre is drama or something like that, I just couldn't get my eyes off this topic anymore.

    About the content : you are such an amazing writer CuteDrew667. You always know how to make the readers have to wait for your next chapters. You lead me from this surprise to that surprise and you amazingly create the controversial details that make us wanna know what will happen next. You're really fantastic :x:x:x

    But there's something in your story ( just in my opinion ^^ ) that makes it sometimes less interesting. Some events are awesome but few are pretty boring. You should exploit the other sides of your characters or the many different extraordinary events to make your story more spicy.

    About your characters: all of them are awesome like their author Sometimes these characters seem so real to me. You describe your characters in an attractive way: their lives, their career, their family and their desire.

    For example: Dawn is a contradictory character. She loves Paul so much that she kept all the secrets all those years, accepted to leave her dreams behind and accepted a life which isn't worth what she sacrificed. Some people might think ' Oh! so that's all she got' but they're wrong. Dawn loves Paul but that doesn't mean she must love him, just him and only him. Her kisses for Drew express the dark side inside her soul which comes from her pains and which she can't confide in Paul. I love these details. Really truthful.

    One more thing ^_^: You write this story in a simple way and I can easily get it.

    And anyways, I can't wait for the next chapter which I know will be amazing again
    I'm singing this song for you
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  15. #115
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    I pretty much agree with Death Notish here. This is one shipping fic you got here! Hehe, quite suspenseful, really want to make me know what will happen to the characters next.

    I think what really gets me the most is Dawn. The way her feelings and life is protrayed is done realistically. Many times there are woman who will love their man so much they are willing to do anything and sometimes it really hurts her inside. Hehe, and now she is in a love triangle, also liking Drew! =O

    There is one thing that bugs me though. Now, there are some parts the narration is in May's point of view and other times it's in third person narration. I'm curious...is May doing the third person narration also? O.o If it is, then I found it a little weird that May is also narrating on the events she is not in to witness. Meh, I actually read another fic ( a Mystery Dungeon one, actually! XD) that has the main character narrating events that she was in and also ones she is not in. Sorry to ask this ^^;;;.

    Well, can't wait for the next chapter. Good luck with the next chapter! XD


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  16. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bay View Post
    I pretty much agree with Death Notish here. This is one shipping fic you got here! Hehe, quite suspenseful, really want to make me know what will happen to the characters next.

    I think what really gets me the most is Dawn. The way her feelings and life is protrayed is done realistically. Many times there are woman who will love their man so much they are willing to do anything and sometimes it really hurts her inside. Hehe, and now she is in a love triangle, also liking Drew! =O

    There is one thing that bugs me though. Now, there are some parts the narration is in May's point of view and other times it's in third person narration. I'm curious...is May doing the third person narration also? O.o If it is, then I found it a little weird that May is also narrating on the events she is not in to witness. Meh, I actually read another fic ( a Mystery Dungeon one, actually! XD) that has the main character narrating events that she was in and also ones she is not in. Sorry to ask this ^^;;;.

    Well, can't wait for the next chapter. Good luck with the next chapter! XD
    oh, thank you so much. it fills me with pride that people like this story and also recognise the strong messages in it: Domestic Violence especially.

    When it is in third person, I am narrating. It just switches perspective, sorry maybe I should make that more clear. anyway, thank you so much for the comment

    and Sophie, it means so much to me that you have made an account on here and read my fan fiction regardless of the fact that you don't like Anime. Thank chuuu, you is well a fab best friend xD
    Last edited by CuteDrew667; 10th August 2007 at 11:08 PM.

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  17. #117
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    OMG, I didnt know the next chapter was up, I would've reviewed earlier. Anyways, that chapter was great as always. May's landlord is a meanie! lol. I don't even wanna think about how Paul is going to react when he finds out May is staying with them...^^ Update as soon as you can.

    Bye-Bye,
    Kat~

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  18. #118

    Thumbs up -|-|-(.__.)-|-|-

    ......... ... ... ............ ...... ... ......... ...... ...

    ok, done being speechless.

    wow.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uzamaki Hinata
    Here's to an awesome fanfic(which frankly, I'm surprised that it isn't centered around contestshipping like your other fanfics, but DawnXDrew is getting to me. XD)
    pretty much that.

    hehehe... love the fact that drew took Ash for being gay. that just tickled me! ^^ although he doesn't have a huge part in it, i think you put him in at just the right time. ayi, poor Misty. torn between two men. sort of her own fault, but hey-- gotta love the drama!

    belleshipping! starting to love it! i think it was shadow_shipper who said it first, it's one of the sweetest ships i can find! the gradual affection and tension between the two is so natural, you can't even tell it's there until-- something happens. ^^; and i luuv the part(s) when dawn's checking out drew. XD (hey, it's what i'd be doing)

    right at the part when drew was fighting with the bouncer, god, i was literally sitting at my computer staring at the screen like this: O.O for five minutes. of course, then i read the next chapter, and sat there for another five minutes. >> geesh, what a mistake! good for his temper... sorta. ^^; may's accusation(sp?) of drew, uh, getting what he wanted, then going to sleep on the couch just made me giggle. ^^ such a may thing to do!

    add me to the pm list please. don't want to be missing any chapters of this! good luck, and update soon! ^_o

    Tff
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  19. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by cutey_Kat12 View Post
    OMG, I didnt know the next chapter was up, I would've reviewed earlier. Anyways, that chapter was great as always. May's landlord is a meanie! lol. I don't even wanna think about how Paul is going to react when he finds out May is staying with them...^^ Update as soon as you can.

    Bye-Bye,
    Kat~
    aw thank yoy for the review. May's landlord is a barrrrstard isn't he =D

    Paul will return, three chapters from now I tinked xxx

    Quote Originally Posted by Teddiursa fan forever View Post
    ......... ... ... ............ ...... ... ......... ...... ...

    ok, done being speechless.

    wow.



    pretty much that.

    hehehe... love the fact that drew took Ash for being gay. that just tickled me! ^^ although he doesn't have a huge part in it, i think you put him in at just the right time. ayi, poor Misty. torn between two men. sort of her own fault, but hey-- gotta love the drama!

    belleshipping! starting to love it! i think it was shadow_shipper who said it first, it's one of the sweetest ships i can find! the gradual affection and tension between the two is so natural, you can't even tell it's there until-- something happens. ^^; and i luuv the part(s) when dawn's checking out drew. XD (hey, it's what i'd be doing)

    right at the part when drew was fighting with the bouncer, god, i was literally sitting at my computer staring at the screen like this: O.O for five minutes. of course, then i read the next chapter, and sat there for another five minutes. >> geesh, what a mistake! good for his temper... sorta. ^^; may's accusation(sp?) of drew, uh, getting what he wanted, then going to sleep on the couch just made me giggle. ^^ such a may thing to do!

    add me to the pm list please. don't want to be missing any chapters of this! good luck, and update soon! ^_o

    Tff
    *runs and glomps you* aww TFF you have made my day. I am just about to go to the stable and horse-ride so I have to reply to your review quickly, but wow... I am soo flattered!

    I am very very surprised that so many people have come to like Belleshipping. I thought that would put people off my fic. Ash being gay...I couldn't help myself xDD

    and as for your O.O at Drew n the bouncer...well thank you for being into my story =3 and I enjoyed writing the next part where May accuses Drew of...taking advantage of her xD

    honestly, nice reviews mean to much to me so thank you =} and of course you can be on the PM list

    xxx

    Samantha Jane
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  20. #120
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    Hi!
    I hav juz read this Fic , and i luv it , it took me a week!
    Omg is juz amazing!
    i'd luv if chuu added meh to the PM list thingeh
    :P
    I really luv this fic , even it Kengo my fav character got killed , that made it interesting in lots of ways hehe
    ^^ well
    G2G
    will keep reading it!! x3

  21. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by CherishMelvil View Post
    Hi!
    I hav juz read this Fic , and i luv it , it took me a week!
    Omg is juz amazing!
    i'd luv if chuu added meh to the PM list thingeh
    :P
    I really luv this fic , even it Kengo my fav character got killed , that made it interesting in lots of ways hehe
    ^^ well
    G2G
    will keep reading it!! x3
    aww I'm sorry your fave character went to fave character heaven but twas part of the plot lol. I am very glad you like my story and I appreciate your review =]

    Samantha Jane
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  22. #122
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    Oh my gosh, am I actually updating? I do believe I am hehe.

    To recap, last time it was made clear that Paul hits Dawn (quite frequently), and May has moved into the Scathen household. That is it.

    I am vair sorry it has taken so long, but I hope this chapter will be okay...but maybe not quite worth the wait. This chapter starts of softly, but ends...not so softly. I hope it reaches the very high standards.



    Rated: R
    Warnings: Strong Language, Gun Control, Rape References

    Gangs of London

    Chapter 7




    ‘And that’s why I’ve got this tattoo, May,’ Drew said, pulling his trouser-leg up to show her a Celtic cross on his calf.

    ‘Oh…’ she nodded and supressed a giggle.

    ‘God, it took a while.’

    May couldn’t remember Drew being as funny and sociable as he was being at that present. Also, Dawn’s cooking was exquisite, which was a surprise to her for some reason.

    ‘Still confused?’ Drew asked.

    ‘No…I get it,’ May said, trying to suppress another laugh.

    Her eyes travelled to Drew’s upper arm, to a tattoo that she had never properly looked at before, but always noticed. It was big, with “Scathen” spelt in old English lettering, and below it was a big picture of a dragon, circling the name “Katie”.

    ‘What about that one?’ May asked, taking a sip of coke and gesturing to his arm.

    Drew looked down and then back at May, his expression flashed sadness and then back to its ordinary stance.

    ‘Scathen: my name obviously, the dragon is to show protection. You like it?’ Drew left out the other name and May chose not to pursue it. And only nodded.

    ‘I’ve got a tattoo,’ Dawn said proudly, turning and lifting up the back of her jumper, exposing a stylish pair of eagle wings along the bottom of her back. ‘I got it to show that you can always fly, no matter how close to the ground you think you’ll remain…’

    May smiled, feeling a sudden feeling of pure affection for both of them. Drew rose at the sound of the door knocking and Dawn rolled her eyes.

    ‘Please don’t be Misty,’ she hissed, grinning at May furtively.

    Drew came back after a few minutes and his eyes were shining with hidden happiness, which May had never seen in him before. He hid it well though and she didn’t think Dawn noticed. He sat back down and poked at the food on his place with a fork absently.

    ‘Who was it, Drew?’ Dawn asked.

    ‘Don’t matter…I’m going out,’ Drew said, his tone sharp and the happiness in his eyes replaced by chilling anxiety.

    ‘What, but-’

    ‘Bye.’

    Drew walked out before they could stop him and shut the front door loudly after him, leaving Dawn and May in a tense silence.


    ***
    May's PoV


    I creep into the kitchen surreptitiously, clutching my empty glass in search of water. Living in my flat for so long, I am not used to having to come downstairs to get a drink. I felt as though I’d be intruding to go into Dawn’s en suite, so decided better of going in there.

    ‘Okay, Fliss,’ I hear a low voice say from the hallway and I start in shock, almost dropping the glass.

    It’s Drew. I thought he would’ve come home while I was asleep. I hear him close the front door and he must be leaning near to the kitchen door, judging by the closeness of his voice.

    ‘Yes, I promise,’ Drew says quietly. ‘And Felicity, I really appreciate this. Okay…bye.’

    Fliss? Felicity? A girl... But I have never heard Drew talk to anyone in the way he was talking to her - even if the argument against it is that I haven’t known him that long. But, never… Especially not a woman.

    The kitchen door opens and Drew walks in, stopping upon realising I’m here. His eyes flash surprise, before going as cold as always. Obviously his good humour at dinner was short lived.

    ‘Alright?’ he mutters, staring hard into my eyes.

    ‘Hey,’ I say quietly. ‘Do you want a-’

    Before I can finish asking Drew if he wants a drink, he reaches into the cupboard and retrieves a small bottle of whiskey. At this time of night?

    ‘You staying down?’ he asks.

    ‘Erm…maybe. I-’

    ‘Good. Come into the living room.’

    Finishing my water, I follow him out obediently.

    ‘Thank you, again, for letting me stay here,’ I say softly, curling up on the left side of the sofa, while Drew lounges on the right.

    ‘Don’t tell me again,’ Drew replies in a bored tone, swigging the bottle. ‘I said it’s fine. You’re a sound girl.’

    I feel my cheeks tint at his words and smile at the carpet.

    Drew’s PoV

    She’s blushing. Like a little teenager, how sad. I have never met anyone like this girl in my life. I only have to tell her she’s “sound” and it’s as though I have performed an act of unexpected extraordinary kindness that she has never experienced before. Quite intriguing actually.

    ‘So, what do you have planned for tomorrow?’ May asks carefully, and I tighten my grip on the whiskey bottle.

    ‘Nothing,’ I grunt in reply.

    ‘Well, Dawn and I are going to her friends’ house…Zoe I think she was called.’

    ‘I hate Zoe.’

    ‘Oh…’

    My words seemed to have nerved May, as she drops her gaze to the carpet again. Most people I talk to react to my words this way. Especially men who fear for their lives. Women shouldn’t… At least not innocent women. Bitches like Misty should just crawl back to the slut hole they came out of!

    ‘When I say nothing, I mean that it is no one’s business but my own,’ I say, trying to redeem the relaxed atmosphere, however May looks even more intimidated than before. ‘Not just you…I mean. I don’t tell anyone where I’m going. On Sunday’s I leave London.’

    May looks up and I’m sure that their was a trace of relief behind her almond-shaped, sapphire eyes. I wonder if she heard me talking to Felicity before. If so, then I am fucked if she finds out about… Well, who would she tell? But, I better put the fear of God into her to make sure. Time to break her comfort zone again.

    ‘That phone call I was having a few minutes ago…’ I wait and May’s eyes snap up to my own. ‘Well, that was private, you understand?’

    ‘Yes,’ she says hastily, ‘I didn’t mean to hear.’

    ‘Well, you obviously did,’ I pause. ‘Felicity and…well, Felicity is the only person that matters to me…’

    I try to find the words to cover my lies about why I care about Felicity. But nothing comes. Can I trust her? Hell, no. She’s just a… She has no idea who I am.

    ‘Just, don’t mention it to anyone, okay?’ I mutter darkly and she nods nervously. ‘’Cause I don’t take kindly to it when someone breaks my trust.’

    We sit in silence for a few minutes and I am dying for a smoke, but it is freezing outside and I am starting, grudgingly, to keep to Dawn’s law of no smoking in the house. May looks torn between scampering up to her room, and just staying in silence and waiting for my lead. Maybe I should put her out of her misery.

    ‘Why did you leave…that…Telford place?’ I can’t help the distaste from showing in my tone. Any place with a name like “Telford” is pathetic. Probably some little country town with dreams of becoming a tourist attraction.

    ‘Well…it wasn’t a city,’ May mumbles. ‘It was a small town with a lot of countryside around it. But…it was getting increasingly rough in certain parts. I couldn’t bare to live around those thugs who carry guns and stuff…’

    A laugh catches in my throat and I have to push it back down. Oh, the irony.

    ‘Anyway,’ she continues, ‘I always dreamed of finding love in a big city like this and I knew that no one in Telford would ever treat me how I longed to be…’ she stops, looking embarrassed. ‘I wanted to start a new life in London.’

    ‘So, you’ve got no one back there?’ I ask, knowing that my suspicions about the little crap-hole must be right.

    ‘I have my friends,’ she says hastily; ‘my best friend, Danika, lives there with her husband and daughter. My other friend…Jay, he’s er, well, we had a bit of an argument before I left so I haven’t spoken to him. I never got on that well with my family as I got older, so that’s not much of a loss. I still talk to my brother on the phone though.’

    The image of that blonde guy in her locket flood back to me, and I realise that he was probably Jay. He looked like a dry prick.

    ‘What about you?’ she asks, and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she instantly regrets it. ‘Erm…I mean-’

    ‘I was born in Oxford,’ I start and she stops quickly, ‘and lived their until I was ten, then my Mom and I moved to Bromley. When I was eighteen, I moved to the East End, have been here ever since.’

    May stays silent and I shake my head, smiling. I can’t believe it still effects me to think about it. I try to ignore the uncomfortable feeling filling my stomach and taking a large gulp of whiskey helps.

    ‘I’ve heard Oxford is a lovely place,’ May says softly.

    ‘No, it isn’t,’ I snap, bad memories of that area appear in my mind and I grit my teeth. ‘Bromley was the best place I lived, even if we had no money…’

    I stop, knowing I’ve said too much. May looks nervous as I stand up, and toss the empty whiskey bottle into the bin. I bid her a short “night” and head upstairs, feeling ashamed of how many weaknesses I have. Thinking of Oxford and Bromley weakens me. Thinking of Felicity and…her, weakens me. I can’t let it do this to me. Too much is at stake!

    ***

    Broken rays of sunlight fell through the cream curtains and rested on Dawn’s face. Fumbling in the dim Sunday sunlight, that was seeping into the room with every small breeze that brushed the limp fabric of her curtains away from the window, she found her little watch and squinted at it through exhausted eyes: 10:14. She would never have been allowed to sleep for this long if Paul was home, but Drew obviously didn’t care.

    She looked over at the camp bed to the left of the room and saw May snoozing soundly. Deciding better of waking her, Dawn crept out of the room, noticing - bitterly - that her nose was blocked and a cold was surely approaching. Slipping her purple, silk nightgown from Jigsaw on, she padded down the stairs quietly. She very rarely wore it in front of Paul for…various reasons.

    ‘Morning,’ Dawn said hoarsely, walking into the kitchen and pinching the bridge of her nose in discomfort.

    ‘You look like hell,’ said Drew, raising one eyebrow at her.

    ‘Why thank you. I am ill you insensitive…are you going somewhere?’ she asked, her eyes detecting the sense of just-leaving about him.

    ‘Yes,’ Drew replied simply, glancing at the bouquet of roses from the kitchen table and daring her to ask. ‘Not for a bit though.’

    ‘Who…I mean, where are you going?’ Dawn said, switching the kettle on and then turning back to him.

    ‘I go out every Sunday. You are always tagging along with Paul at the club to notice.’

    ‘Oh…okay, well can I come?’

    ‘Excuse me?’

    ‘May is asleep, and I’m not feeling too good. It might be good for me to get some fresh air. Where are you heading?’

    ‘No, you can’t come. This is something - for once - I do on my own.’

    ‘Oh…’ Dawn looked so crestfallen that Drew almost felt sorry for her.

    ‘You’re going out with May, anyway,’ Drew said, wiping his tired-looking eyes, ‘to see Zoe Hoe aren’t you?’

    Goe, not Hoe,’ Dawn corrected testily. ‘And I think I need to talk to Zoe without May. I’m going to ask if she wants to go out with Cam.’

    ‘Oh, no, not her,’ Drew groaned. ‘She does my head in.’

    ‘You used to go out with her,’ Dawn said, walking across the kitchen and turning the kettle on.’

    ‘Yeah, and she’s got more money than sense.’

    ‘So have you,’ Dawn laughed. ‘How many Ralph Lauren suits do you have, Drew?’

    ‘I’m a businessmen. It’s all about presentation.’

    ‘Yeah, okay.’

    ‘Plus, has May ever even met Camilla?’ Drew pulled a face and accepted the cup of tea that Dawn passed to him.

    ‘No, but-’

    ‘You just assume that the country girl and the heiress will get on because opposites attract and you’re naďve.’

    ‘You like May and look at you.’

    ‘Different, sweetheart. I was thinking about whether May will like Briana.’

    ‘Whether I’ll like who?’ May asked, entering the room and looking from Dawn to Drew.

    ‘Prince Charles’ wife, horse-face,’ Drew said, sipping his tea and smirking.

    ‘Not that Camilla. My friend,’ Dawn shook her head at Drew. ‘My friend Camilla. She lives in Kensington and she’s really sweet.’

    ‘I think the fact that she lives in Kensington says it all,’ Drew muttered, scanning the headlines of The Sun newspaper.

    ‘Oh…well, is she coming with us to see Zoe?’ May asked in confusion.

    Dawn looked at the floor uncomfortably.

    ‘You see, May, I need to talk to Zoe about something that’s…between us. I was wondering if you wanted to go out with Camilla for a few hours while I go to Mayfair.’

    ‘I…I guess so,’ May replied, taken aback. She figured it would be rude to refuse.

    ‘Great. I will phone her now,’ Dawn said excitedly, whipping out her mobile and dialling a number with a hasty pace.

    May glanced at Drew, who’s brow was furrowed as he watched Dawn. This was the first time May had ever been set to go out for the day with someone she had never met.

    ‘Hey girl!’ Dawn said, sounding more American than she ever had before.

    Dawn! Hi, sugar,’ a voice replied as Dawn put the call on speakerphone.

    ‘Listen hon’, what plans do you have today?’

    ‘I was just going to go shopping. My car is in the garage though so I’m going to have to take the underground. How trampy is that?’

    ‘Oh, you know that girl I told you about who is staying with me? Would it be okay if she came with you?’

    ‘Oh…just her?’

    ‘Yeah.’

    ‘Why?’

    ‘I have to go and see Zoe, so she will be on her own.’

    ‘Well, then sure!’ Camilla’s voice said happily. ‘Tell her we’ll be going to Bond Street to have a spending spree!’

    ‘Okay, thanks a lot hon’. Drew will drop her off at your house.’

    Drew choked on his tea and stared incredulously at Dawn, who turned away from him to say goodbye to Camilla. When she closed the flip phone, Drew folded his arms expectantly.

    ‘So, I’m Soccer Mom now, am I?’

    ‘Nice way of putting it,’ Dawn said, in amused nervousness. ‘Please take May.’

    ‘I will because it’s not fair on May if I say no. But you’re a little cow, Dawn.’

    ‘In’t’ he lovely?’ Dawn said, looking at May and giggling.

    ***


    It was five o’ clock in the evening. Drew had finished his Every-Sunday-Trip and felt awful. Why, after all this time, did it affect him more so than it used to? Maybe because he’d become everything he’d despised as a teenager. Everything his mother had raised him against.

    Drew’s mobile buzzed loudly and he started, swearing loudly.

    ‘What?’ he snapped into his phone.

    ‘Well, that’s nice,’ chortled a soft, female voice. ‘I just figured that you’d want to know the dates that you can come over. The party is on the eleventh of December. Promise me you’ll be there, Andrew, because I can’t handle you messing me around again.’

    ‘I promise,’ Drew replied, leaning back into the car seat and pulling into his street, ‘you know that I take this seriously.’

    ‘Well, make sure you do. I’ll see you on the eleventh.’

    Inside the house, Dawn was staring blankly at an email she’d been repeatedly reading for the last hour from: dalkinboys@yahoo.com.

    Mrs Scathen,

    I was very interested to hear that your husband is away on business and you are currently alone in Number 8, Tadorna Drive. I am watching you and Drew’s car is not parked outside.
    Your husband owes me a lot of money, Mrs Scathen, and I will get it one way or another. I suggest you pray that the way I choose does not involve entering your home when Drew is away, because I may not be alone. And if I am not alone, I cannot control what my men may do to you.

    I want my money, Mrs Scathen. You will get Drew to write me a cheque on his cousin’s behalf, do you understand? And you will bring it to my warehouse, DB on Old Kent Road at midnight tomorrow. If you decide not to do that, Mrs Scathen, then me and my boys will have to pay you a little visit. They like money most, but you second, and I would never deprive them of what they like.

    Bring me the money.


    ‘Hey, what’s up with you?’ Drew asked, walking into the living room and frowning at Dawn’s expression.

    ‘Drew!’ Dawn cried, hurtling at him and throwing her arms around his neck. ‘Oh, Drew, I’ve been so scared…’

    She clutched his neck and back, trying to morph into his body for protection. Drew looked down at her in shock, holding her to him. ‘Dawn, what’s happened?’

    Silently, Dawn gestured to the laptop. Drew walked over and read it, his expression changing to rage the further he got. What fucking cowards! He thought viciously.

    ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll go and have a talk with them,’ Drew said, walking over to a cabinet, opening a secret compartment and pulling out a simple handgun. ‘Those guys are pussies, Dawn, don’t dwell on it. You wait her for May to get back while I head over to Old Kent Road.’

    ‘May’s not coming back,’ Dawn replied, wiping her eyes, ‘she’s staying at Camilla’s tonight, but coming back tomorrow morning.’

    ‘She liked her then,’ Drew muttered, before saying, ‘call Gary. Get him to come over while I sort this out. I won’t be long I promise.’

    Acting on impulse, Drew, pulled Dawn up and kissed her fleetingly on the mouth, before leaving; tucking the gun into his jeans as he went. He’d seen to some of the Dalkin boys before, and they knew what he was capable of. They were either very daring, or very stupid. Either way, their fate was inevitable now. They’d crossed the line with the threat of rape, and Drew was going to punish them for it.

    ****************


    There we have it. As always, sorry if it is a disappointment but I am struggling to find time to write fan fiction at all lately, so please take that into account.

    Love to all my readers

    ~CuteDrew667

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  23. #123
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    I think I'm first to review, if I'm not then I'm not. If I am, then yay~!

    When I checked my inbox and saw that you updated I was...shocked! I can't believe you actually updated. I really like this fanfic, and being able to get a new chapter from you is always good

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667
    Thinking of Oxford and Bromley weakens me. Thinking of Felicity and…her, weakens me. I can’t let it do this to me. Too much is at stake!
    This is like the best contestshipping quote I've ever read.

    Okay, so even though you did give us a general recap of what is going on, I still did kind of have to go back to understand...

    The actual chapter wasn't bad it just seemed as if it were rushed and at some parts of the story, could use a bit more elaboration.

    I liked the fact that now we get to see the more contestshipping and it seems that drew is actually getting a crush on May, oo~ooh

    Well, in conclusion, it was a good chapter to read.
    ~*Uza-chan's Good bye*~

    IS SUPAH FIIIINE

  24. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uzamaki Hinata View Post
    I think I'm first to review, if I'm not then I'm not. If I am, then yay~!

    When I checked my inbox and saw that you updated I was...shocked! I can't believe you actually updated. I really like this fanfic, and being able to get a new chapter from you is always good



    This is like the best contestshipping quote I've ever read.

    Okay, so even though you did give us a general recap of what is going on, I still did kind of have to go back to understand...

    The actual chapter wasn't bad it just seemed as if it were rushed and at some parts of the story, could use a bit more elaboration.

    I liked the fact that now we get to see the more contestshipping and it seems that drew is actually getting a crush on May, oo~ooh

    Well, in conclusion, it was a good chapter to read.
    yay! Am so happy to get a review from you hun and...trust me, no one knew it was rushed better than I! But...it was either going to be rushed, or be posted four months from now. I am so stressed all of the time with the workload I am having to cope with (am even on mild happy pills to help me get through it), so taking time out to write Pokemon fan fics is a bit of a struggle for me xD

    but even so, your review made me smile and I am sorry if the quality deteriorates, but it is so hard for me to carry on with an internet-life, not that my real life is so bloody hectic -_-.

    thankies for your review sweetie! xxxx

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  25. #125
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    Oh my God, I'm so sorry I couldn't R&R earlier, but I simply couldn't take half an hour earlier to review properly, and God knows you deserve quality reviews, so here we go !

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Alright?’ he mutters, staring hard into my eyes.

    ‘Hey,’ I say quietly. ‘Do you want a-’

    Before I can finish asking Drew if he wants a drink, he reaches into the cupboard and retrieves a small bottle of whiskey. At this time of night?

    ‘You staying down?’ he asks.

    ‘Erm…maybe. I-’

    ‘Good. Come into the living room.’

    Finishing my water, I follow him out obediently.
    Heh, he's so happy he's in his own world

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    My words seemed to have nerved May, as she drops her gaze to the carpet again. Most people I talk to react to my words this way. Especially men who fear for their lives. Women shouldn’t… At least not innocent women. Bitches like Misty should just crawl back to the slut hole they came out of!
    For some reason...I feel like this style of writing is truly yours, meaning that you put in some sort of cynical attitude, mixed with some carelessness all at the same time. Even when you don't use this in half a page-long descriptions, but in two lines like this, it's brilliant. Frightenning for the story, but still interessting and brilliant

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Not just you…I mean. I don’t tell anyone where I’m going. On Sunday’s I leave London.’
    Sundays

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    We sit in silence for a few minutes and I am dying for a smoke, but it is freezing outside and I am starting, grudgingly, to keep to Dawn’s law of no smoking in the house.
    Starting to feel more kind to others ? or just Dawn ?

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Well…it wasn’t a city,’ May mumbles. ‘It was a small town with a lot of countryside around it. But…it was getting increasingly rough in certain parts. I couldn’t bare to live around those thugs who carry guns and stuff…’

    A laugh catches in my throat and I have to push it back down. Oh, the irony.
    The sweet irony indeed
    Moments like these make me definately want to keep on reading, makes the reader more comfortable if you manage to make him smile at some times

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    I bid her a short “night” and head upstairs, feeling ashamed of how many weaknesses I have. Thinking of Oxford and Bromley weakens me. Thinking of Felicity and…her, weakens me. I can’t let it do this to me. Too much is at stake!
    Weakness is humane Drew, embrace it, fight against it if you will, you'll lose, and she'll be there for you then...

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Broken rays of sunlight fell through the cream curtains and rested on Dawn’s face. Fumbling in the dim Sunday sunlight, that was seeping into the room with every small breeze that brushed the limp fabric of her curtains away from the window, she found her little watch and squinted at it through exhausted eyes: 10:14. She would never have been allowed to sleep for this long if Paul was home, but Drew obviously didn’t care.
    Magical description, especially the first phrase !
    See ? Even when you don't feel like writing much, you write quality stuff !

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘You used to go out with her,’ Dawn said, walking across the kitchen and turning the kettle on.’

    ‘Yeah, and she’s got more money than sense.’

    ‘So have you,’ Dawn laughed. ‘How many Ralph Lauren suits do you have, Drew?’

    ‘I’m a businessmen. It’s all about presentation.’

    ‘Yeah, okay.’
    xD LOL
    The man's right yanno

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Okay, thanks a lot hon’. Drew will drop her off at your house.’

    Drew choked on his tea and stared incredulously at Dawn, who turned away from him to say goodbye to Camilla. When she closed the flip phone, Drew folded his arms expectantly.

    ‘So, I’m Soccer Mom now, am I?’

    ‘Nice way of putting it,’ Dawn said, in amused nervousness. ‘Please take May.’

    ‘I will because it’s not fair on May if I say no. But you’re a little cow, Dawn.’

    ‘In’t’ he lovely?’ Dawn said, looking at May and giggling.
    Bwahahahaha !
    Score one for Dawn for making them spend some more time together
    And I'm really getting the feeling that, because of Dawn's affection for her, Drew will very soon start feeling comfortable with her...then we go from there lol

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Acting on impulse, Drew, pulled Dawn up and kissed her fleetingly on the mouth, before leaving; tucking the gun into his jeans as he went. He’d seen to some of the Dalkin boys before, and they knew what he was capable of. They were either very daring, or very stupid. Either way, their fate was inevitable now. They’d crossed the line with the threat of rape, and Drew was going to punish them for it.
    Impulse = instinct = not thinking = protecting the ones you love...
    Drew, go kick their asses !


    Not it all, not a dissapointment, I actually enjoyed this one because we're building hype for something big that's going to happen !

    But on a side note, I hope I'll get to talk to you soon on msn dear...you know I don't like it when you're stressed beyond belief :/ I'll be on later tonight...

    Until then, your writing has not lost a hint of it's class, and I hope you'll get rewarded with an oscar or two
    Take care dear !

    Mark
    Because of serebiiforums, my Life has been put on hold...

    ...wait, that sounds wrong...
    ...yeah, it's the other way around.

    My Works : A, B, C, D, E

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