Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast
Results 51 to 75 of 135

Thread: The Gangs of London (NC-17)

  1. #51
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England... being blonde
    Posts
    464

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by honey_clover112 View Post
    YESH! First post!

    Love the Belleshippy parts! Brunette.....*sigh*-____-U

    But I did love the Brunette parts as well....darn you, CD667....turning me into a Brunetteshipper....
    lol I seem to be opening people's eyes a lot to new, cute ships Thanks for the comment hun, and I am glad you like the Gary/May moment, that was fun to write

    Quote Originally Posted by miakimluv View Post
    awesome chapter Sammy! man,Drew iz becoming more well..err..a lil sweeter n' well,at least he's treating Dawn a lil better like in the hug..aww lolz ooh-err..n' Gary n' May? hmm..cute couple..wait,no! am so not being a faithful contestshipper..*cries* oh wellz..awesome chap! i luv how you wrote this one Sammy! 5/5
    Yesh, Drew is a proper baddass but kinda has a soft side, definately moreso than Paul. Yesh Gary/May goodness glad you liked it hun and thank you very much for the comment

    Quote Originally Posted by shadow_shipper View Post
    lol xD

    you like writing these daydreming scenes about Drew ^_^ and you're doing a good job at it
    the one a chapter ago with Dawn was priceless as well...but this one is absolutely fantastic ^_^ because it has the "May" factor...the little insecure, uncomfortable situation
    Yes I dooo the "May" factor, me likes that xD poor May, if she does develop a crush it will be completely one-sided which is a shame. ah well, Belleshipping lives one ^^

    Quote Originally Posted by shadow_shipper

    NO WAAAY !!! xD
    Yeah...he had better get out of the car fast but Drew...call this plot developpment...


    oh yes...this is getting...excellent it was allready good...but it deserves 5/5

    congratulations dear
    lol yes, but he doesn't, he just chooses to ask Dawn later xD wow thanks so much for the 5 rating, that is fab to hear! As usual, thank you for the lovely comment. Y'all will find out in next chap whether Mist is preggies or not

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  2. #52
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    In the Sky with Diamonds
    Posts
    205

    Default

    Thank God Phoebe and Gary and cousins. Now I don't have to worry about her coming between Gary and May xD.

    I loved the chapter, lots of dialog and action, that's always good ^_^.
    I'll be eagerly awaiting Chapter Five.
    {New icon currently under construction C:}
    You can call me Liberty4Pokemon, Liberty, or Libby (my given name), whatever floats your boat! =)

    Proud Namer of/Supporter of OutofSpiteShipping | Ditto on ShootsDownShipping :-*
    ^Glitter/Twinleafshipping, yuri-licious oneshot | ^ShootsDown/Penguni/AppealShipping serial <33
    Claims: Shinji/Kengo; Nozomi/Kengo; Kasumi/Hikari; Sakaki/Kaorin {AzuDai} (couples)||Gwen Stefani (celebrity)
    Nozomi is my bishie =3

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Don't worry about it.
    Posts
    634

    Default

    aw this was great. I have warm up to the whole DrewxDawn budding romance. I will admit that I was a little confused at the beggining of the story because it was a little unclear who was talking and all. After the beggining though I really got into it. I actually feel like I am reading a book off the shelf.
    =D
    Woo! I never knew there was going to be a MayxGary relationship but I really like it! I am the contestshipper but this is so cute, and I love how he calls her Kitty.
    I can't wait until you write about the club thing next. I really want to read that.
    & ha, I just gotta say something. I love how Paul is off in America and is basically getting screwed because he has no idea what is happening with Dawn and Drew. I just find that so funny for some reason. Oh, and I really want to find out more about Misty's baby and if it's Drew's or not. ;]
    Thanks for the PM, update soon.
    =]
    [IMG]http://i26.*******.com/246057s.jpg[/IMG]
    kyo sohma is my bishie (:

    &*heres__ to the note |she| wrote
    well RAISE a finger
    obscene g e s t u r e s , so she said
    but i only said sweet things to get you in b e d;

    touch me, tease me - a day away
    drew club + couples claimed ___.

  4. #54
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    England... Or maybe I'm not...
    Posts
    17

    Default

    Gangs of London

    Chapter 4: Review



    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Yeah, getting ready to go out. Suzie, go to daddy. Shoo!’

    ‘Aww, aren’t you nice,’ I say down the phone sarcastically.

    ‘Yeah, DAVID! Can you get my bras off the radiator?’ Danika calls loudly.

    ‘Good grief Dan, can't you wait until I get off the phone?’

    ‘Oh sorry May, it is just hectic in this house. David doesn’t make it any easier with his “I-must-work-twelve-hours-a-day-rule”,’ she replies scathingly.
    This is the normal life here, no drugs, no guns, just complete pissing off from your friends and relatives.

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Dawn’s bein’ a shit today.’
    Firstly, just cos she is!
    Secondly, don't talk about her that way.

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Party?’ Dawn repeats, regaining her posture and looking at Gary.

    ‘Yes, Drew and I discussed it coming back from the airport. Will Kitty be invited?’

    He looks at Drew expectantly, who closes his eyes and shrugs.

    ‘Why not? Do you wanna’ come?’ he asks, opening his eyes and turning them to me.

    ‘Um…sure,’ I say, trying to shake my uncomfortable feeling, ‘what day is it?’

    ‘Next Saturday. You’ve got over a week,’ Drew mutters, before getting up and leaving the room – ignoring Phoebe who tries to hand him a drink.

    ‘What’s up with him?’ she asks, with a similar accent to Gary’s.

    ‘Nothin’ Phoebes, just bring mine,’ Gary replies holding out his hand to take a drink from her.

    ‘Who’s…?’ I ask Dawn quietly.

    ‘Oh, that’s Phoebe Oak,’ Dawn says loudly, neglecting to be discreet, ‘Gary’s cousin.’

    ‘Oh.’

    ‘Phoebe, this is May, my friend,’ Dawn says to her and she smiles at me.

    Phew. There was silly me thinking that she was Gary’s girlfriend. Thank God for that…or…I mean, who cares anyway. He hasn’t acted as though he wants to be anything more than friends.
    Let the love shape begin (it is definitely more than 3 people in this).


    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Drew turns the light on and closes the door behind him. I feel my cheeks redden deeply as he turns back to me, half from nerves and half from the close contact. I try to take a step back from him, but my back bumps into the wall, and I realise that there is no way I can change this situation. It is now that I realise just how big Drew is. Not in any unattractive way at all. He is tall, very tall. His height of over six foot completely towers my small frame of 5”4. And not only that, but he’s broad. His jacket has been discarded and I can see the muscles on his arms and shoulders, which only increases my fear of him.

    ‘Please, what’s wrong?’ I ask again, a little more urgently.

    ‘Listen,’ Drew says, putting a hand on his forehead and looking down at me.

    He is breathing deeply and for some reason I believe it is to keep his anger under control. If that is so…what’s he going to do?
    Contestshipping at its glorius state.


    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘I would ask to see the Kitty’s basket, but Drew may shoot me. Not that he is that kinda’ guy,’ he grins, flickering his eyebrows humorously.

    ‘Yeah, you should probably go. I’ll see you tomorrow night,’ I say, ‘I think Drew is going to pick me up, but Dawn will probably let me know in a bit.’

    ‘Yeah…’

    Gary takes a step closer to me and I turn, finding myself pressed against the door self-consciously. He lifts one hand and slips it against my hip as I put one on his shoulder, moving closer to kiss him. As soon as our lips make contact, I feel my eyes close and my senses taking control. I always told Danika that it was wrong to do anything more than hold a guy’s hand unless you have been on at least two dates with him. I get the feeling that I am just slightly hypocritical.

    Gary’s left hand is brushing through my hair as I move closer to him. I can almost hear Drew’s impatient tapping on the steering wheel, and I find myself giggling. Gary pulls away and looks at my grin slightly apprehensively.

    ‘Something…funny?’ he asks.

    ‘No, just…Drew will be waiting,’ I say gently.

    Gary smiles and kisses me fleetingly, before turning and walking back into the lift, which is still open. I sigh lustfully and open my door, stepping inside slowly. Well…that was unexpected. And very exciting.
    HOT!

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    'You’ve fuckin’ snogged her ain’t ya’?’ Drew asked, turning to Gary and laughing.
    Too right he fuckin’ did!

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Speaking of Misty, I heard she’s pregnant. Thanks for the drop-off.’
    *spits drink all over* I knew those two fuck buddies would get one, idiots.
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Just making sure she wasn’t going to tell anyone about my pistol and handgun.’
    *Takes swig of drink and spits it back out again*
    What!?

    Okay the full review in a mo, but first a little spoiler I have been given permission to show.
        Spoiler:- *Drum Roll*:


    And now for this chapters final review:
    Chapter 4 is definitely when the heat is turned up for this fic, more relationships develop and one is getting rocky, wonder how this'll change next chapter. Great story so far and great scenes used, I KNOW the next chapter is gonna be fantastic. A+/10

    Fandabbydosey. Can't wait for the great scenes i've been told about. Hold on to your shower curtains!
    Last edited by AdamtheNinja; 30th May 2007 at 1:16 AM.

  5. #55
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Somewhere with Ikuto Tsukiyomi
    Posts
    46

    Default

    Great chapter Sammy;P I luv it=]

    hehe, so now GaryxMay, eh? lol. They make a cute couple^_^ I hope to see more GaryxMay in the fanfic:3

    Anywayz, this chapter has lotz of description and its really good=3 The Belleshipping is like awesome in this fanfic too, lol=D Me cant waitz for the next chapter, I bet it will be awesome. 5/5
    Drew and Dawn Fan Forever =D


  6. #56
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    America
    Posts
    32

    Default

    hey Sammy ^^

    wow, this is just full of surprises now May&Gary?! What about being a faithful contestshipper? *tsk tsk JK lol anyway, love the chapter, love the story, and I can't wait to see what happens next!


    Read my first fan fic! Please R&R!

    Dawn's Rising Sun

    [~littledreamindawn~]

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Jhoto
    Posts
    131

    Default

    This story could almost be a book, what with the characteristics, you're doing so awesome. I mean it doesn't matter to me that they aren't acting like they do in the show, they have different lives and personalities, I love it!

    I am wondering what Paul will come home to, whether you have major plans for him in the long run! Which I'm sure you do! Maybe he could date Phoebe!

    Speaking of, when you put an S at the end of her name, am I right in asuming that you mean to call her Pheebs? If not thats fine, I just found it hard to understand why the S was there when he was talking to her...or not...@_@

    May sure is getting herself into a bunch of trouble and she doesn't even know it. Gary seems nice, however I can't help thinking he's got a mean streak in there somewhere, otherwise why would he pick up Guns? XD And Drew! He likes to scare the chicks! I feel sorry for any female who knows something she shouldn't, and I'm glad that I don't know anything!!!! (Really, I don't! O.O )

    Cannot wait until the next chapter, your doing a wonderful job! LONG LIVE ENGLAND AND TEA TIME! *Laughs...at the lame joke of Tea, and Dinner-Tea*
    This sig thing is confuzzling.

  8. #58
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England... being blonde
    Posts
    464

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Liberty4Pokemon View Post
    Thank God Phoebe and Gary and cousins. Now I don't have to worry about her coming between Gary and May xD.

    I loved the chapter, lots of dialog and action, that's always good ^_^.
    I'll be eagerly awaiting Chapter Five.
    lol thank you very much hun, nope Gary and Phoebes are not meant to be

    Quote Originally Posted by HelloKitty17 View Post

    Woo! I never knew there was going to be a MayxGary relationship but I really like it! I am the contestshipper but this is so cute, and I love how he calls her Kitty.
    I can't wait until you write about the club thing next. I really want to read that.
    & ha, I just gotta say something. I love how Paul is off in America and is basically getting screwed because he has no idea what is happening with Dawn and Drew. I just find that so funny for some reason. Oh, and I really want to find out more about Misty's baby and if it's Drew's or not
    the reason I had Gary call May Kitty is because that used to be my name, lol, I know I am so unoriginal. Yesh there will be a lot of drama at the club, a lot of lust, jealous n....stuff. xD

    lol yes poor Paul is in New York while his wife is...*cough cough* being attracted to his cousin ^^ You will find out about Misty's baby in the next chapter, and some stuff and their characters: Misty and Drew. Thank you for the comment hun


    Quote Originally Posted by AdamtheNinja View Post
    And now for this chapters final review:
    Chapter 4 is definitely when the heat is turned up for this fic, more relationships develop and one is getting rocky, wonder how this'll change next chapter. Great story so far and great scenes used, I KNOW the next chapter is gonna be fantastic. A+/10

    Fandabbydosey. Can't wait for the great scenes i've been told about. Hold on to your shower curtains!
    lol Hold onto your shower curtains! You know that Drew/Dawn     Spoiler:- cough:
    spoiler i know you about? well I have changed that a bit, poor Dawn ^^
    thank you for the comment and u lucky barrrstard know more than u should

    Quote Originally Posted by oreo754 View Post
    hehe, so now GaryxMay, eh? lol. They make a cute couple^_^ I hope to see more GaryxMay in the fanfic:3

    Anywayz, this chapter has lotz of description and its really good=3 The Belleshipping is like awesome in this fanfic too, lol=D Me cant waitz for the next chapter, I bet it will be awesome. 5/5
    thank you very mcuh for the review hun, yesh Belleshippy and Brunettshippyness


    Quote Originally Posted by littledreamindawn View Post
    hey Sammy ^^

    wow, this is just full of surprises now May&Gary?! What about being a faithful contestshipper? *tsk tsk JK lol anyway, love the chapter, love the story, and I can't wait to see what happens next!
    lol I know, I have sinned from being an unfaithful contestshipper ^^ but hey, ya gotsta be original. thanks for the review

    Quote Originally Posted by Saiyajin-Neko View Post
    This story could almost be a book, what with the characteristics, you're doing so awesome. I mean it doesn't matter to me that they aren't acting like they do in the show, they have different lives and personalities, I love it!

    I am wondering what Paul will come home to, whether you have major plans for him in the long run! Which I'm sure you do! Maybe he could date Phoebe!

    Speaking of, when you put an S at the end of her name, am I right in asuming that you mean to call her Pheebs? If not thats fine, I just found it hard to understand why the S was there when he was talking to her...or not...@_@

    May sure is getting herself into a bunch of trouble and she doesn't even know it. Gary seems nice, however I can't help thinking he's got a mean streak in there somewhere, otherwise why would he pick up Guns? XD And Drew! He likes to scare the chicks! I feel sorry for any female who knows something she shouldn't, and I'm glad that I don't know anything!!!! (Really, I don't! O.O )

    Cannot wait until the next chapter, your doing a wonderful job! LONG LIVE ENGLAND AND TEA TIME! *Laughs...at the lame joke of Tea, and Dinner-Tea*
    your review is amazing. thank you so much, the fact that you said it could be a book. i have extremely big plans for Paul, but he can just stay in America doin whatever hes doin for the moment ^^
    Yeah Phoebes = pheebs. I just spell it different lol Gary is not all sugary sweet, but he is a damn side sweeter than Drew. There will be drama with the may/gary thing though.
    Drew is naturally strong and tough, and because the girls are smaller than him, he is very intimidating, so yes, they are fearful of him. but then...so are men.

    I am going to have tea with the Queen and her corgies now, good day *waves* lol thanks so much for this lovely comment

    ~CuteDrew667~

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  9. #59
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In one of Wales' bins. Ugh.
    Posts
    3

    Talking Wowee!

    Amazinf fanfiction! This could be my new bedtime story ^^ Gary's introduction was great! You made us see that he is arrogant and annyoing, but also quite sweet. Exactly like the Gary in the anime series! Yay! Go Gary! Drew terrifies me at the moment! Need... Contestshipping... badly... gargh. I hope you manage to squeeze some Contestshippy moments in somehow!
    I don't know much about Dawn, but I'm telling you, the way you use her as Drew and Paul's 'dolly' is fabulous! I feel such pity for her =[ How dare you kill Kengo! He rocks XD Anyhoo, I hope you write more soon!
    This sucks. Change the signature

    Check out my fanfiction on Fanfiction.net! It's Contestshippyalicious ^^ And bloody long, too!
    http://www.fanfiction.net/secure/liv...335&chapter=1/
    Tentacruel Rock My SOCKS!!

  10. #60
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England... being blonde
    Posts
    464

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unfourtanate View Post
    Amazinf fanfiction! This could be my new bedtime story ^^ Gary's introduction was great! You made us see that he is arrogant and annyoing, but also quite sweet. Exactly like the Gary in the anime series! Yay! Go Gary! Drew terrifies me at the moment! Need... Contestshipping... badly... gargh. I hope you manage to squeeze some Contestshippy moments in somehow!
    I don't know much about Dawn, but I'm telling you, the way you use her as Drew and Paul's 'dolly' is fabulous! I feel such pity for her =[ How dare you kill Kengo! He rocks XD Anyhoo, I hope you write more soon!
    yay! New reader! lol Another Contestshipper ^^ Drew is a very bad guy, but he has more of a heart than Paul: though he is stronger and more powerful than Paul. In the next chapter, there r a couple of Drew and May interactions that u may like.
    and Belleshippers, Chap 5 is for you Yes Unfourtanate, you are right about Dawn. she needs Drew and Paul but is very lonely as well. Yesh I killed Kengo, poor him xD thank you for the review

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  11. #61
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    12

    Default

    OMG! This is definately one of the best fanfics i've read and it's not even finished, hopefully far from it , i just can't bare the thought that it'll have to end some time XD. I never thought i'd be so open minded to brunetshipping and belleshipping, you really do open our eyes to cool cross-generation shippings
    I have to say i think it's really cute the way gary calles may Kitty, and i love drew's " cold but also sweet" attitude. Can't wait to see when the contestshipping comes in, well if it does , don't feel pressured , that' your choice and i think i'd like the story either way^^
    BTW: It' xxxFafixxx from youtube
    Mayloverxxx

  12. #62
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England... being blonde
    Posts
    464

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mayloverxxx View Post
    OMG! This is definately one of the best fanfics i've read and it's not even finished, hopefully far from it , i just can't bare the thought that it'll have to end some time XD. I never thought i'd be so open minded to brunetshipping and belleshipping, you really do open our eyes to cool cross-generation shippings
    I have to say i think it's really cute the way gary calles may Kitty, and i love drew's " cold but also sweet" attitude. Can't wait to see when the contestshipping comes in, well if it does , don't feel pressured , that' your choice and i think i'd like the story either way^^
    BTW: It' xxxFafixxx from youtube
    oh hiya Fafi! wow...one of the best? thank you so much! I never imagined liking Belleshipping but for some reason it just moulded into the story and now i love it I am glad cha is open minded to cross-generation lurrrves. Drew's attitude is awfully enigmatic to everyone (especially the women), but through everything he does have a soft side and that will be shown more as the story progresses as you find more about his past and he becomes more open with certain characters...

    Contestshipping? That isn't going to be a main ship any time soon (or at all...? I haven't decided), but in the next chapter when May is *cough* drunk, there are a few moments ^^ thanks very much for the review

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  13. #63
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England... being blonde
    Posts
    464

    Default

    Hey y'all I finally gots a new chappie for all ma lurrrvely readers. I think I may get mixed reviews with this one...but still. I leave it on a huge cliffhanger ^^

    Rated NC-17/18 ~ Scenes of a sexual nature, strong language, violence, coarse sexual references, gun control, excessive alcohol use

    ...I have to warn of even the littlest things Ships in this chapter:
    Brunettshipping
    Belleshipping.....
    Contestshipping (?)
    May/Dawn if ya wanna get picky lol
    Drew/Misty
    Pokeshipping references

    ...in other words: a lot


    Gangs of London

    Chapter 5




    ‘Hi May,’ Dawn said into her mobile quietly.


    ‘Oh, Dawn, hey!’ was the woman’s reply, and Dawn’s heart sank even more at the happiness and innocence of her tone, ‘I was hoping to here from you to find out what is going on for Hustlers.’

    ‘Yeah…well, Drew wanted me to tell you that we will pick you up at quarter to nine tomorrow. He’s paying, so you will only need money for drinks and stuff. Dress nice but sexy.’

    ‘Drew said that…?’

    ‘Well the last bit was me, because that’s how you dress at Hustlers,’ Dawn replied, ‘is that okay?’

    ‘Yeah, that should be fab. I’ll see you tomorrow then?’

    ‘Yeah, bye May.’

    Dawn hung up the phone and let it slip from her hand and onto the bed, beginning to slip her night-dress off as she walked into her en suite bathroom. The feeling of guilt overtaking her was almost unbearable. She didn’t want to go against Drew’s wishes for too many reasons to name, but she also hated having to lie and deceive her new friend who she truly cared about. It was a no-win situation, but the figuration was that she had known Drew longer and owed him more.

    Dawn stepped into the warm water of the shower she had begun to run and closed her eyes, hoping that the water would wash away her insecurities and problems. She ran her fingers through her soaking hair and lifted her head, so that the water washed over her face and neck. It was amazing how much the water could relax her. That was until she heard Drew call her from inside her room, and Dawn practically ripped the shower curtain off the wall in shock.

    ‘What…Drew?’ Dawn spluttered, grabbing a towel hastily and stepping out of the shower.

    ‘Oh…you decent?’ Drew asked, and Dawn was amused in seeing that he had his arm over his eyes, awaiting for her to come out.

    ‘Yes, what’s wrong?’

    Dawn was freezing, the tiny towel not protecting her from the icy air in the room, whipping against her wet skin. Drew turned and couldn’t stop his eyes from looking her up and down, though he managed to hide it with a cool smirk.

    ‘I just wanted to know if you had already gone to bed, cause’ I am gonna’ have a drink. Not that I give a ****, but having a drink with you would be slightly better than one on my own,’ Drew said, eyeing Dawn’s pink face.

    ‘Sure,’ Dawn breathed, ‘just give me about half an hour and I’ll be down.’

    Drew laughed and walked back out of the room, leaving a blushing Dawn to scuttle back into the bathroom and dive into the shower again. He sure did pick his moments to pop up randomly.

    *

    ‘Hello,’ Dawn yawned, padding into the living room in a bathrobe and slippers.

    ‘I managed to have a shower in ten minutes this morning before going to the airport, and you take an hour…’ Drew said incredulously, throwing a can of Carling to her.

    ‘You don’t have as much hair as me. It takes longer to wash.’

    ‘Bollocks.’

    ‘It does!’

    ‘Not forty-five minutes longer.’

    Dawn giggled and opened her can, then glaring at Drew as he tried to light a cigarette.

    ‘No!’ she scolded, as though talking to a child.

    ‘My house.’

    ‘I clean it,’ Dawn said, walking over and lowering his hand from putting the *** in his mouth, ‘if you are going to smoke, do it in the garden.’

    ‘Dawn…you’re soaking me.’

    ‘Excuse me?’

    Drew reached up and squeezed a chunk of Dawn’s hair, so that water seeped through his fingers.

    ‘Your hair is soaking and you are leaning over me,’ he gestured to the water that had dripped onto his shirt with one eyebrow slightly raised, ‘move.’

    ‘Sorry,’ she murmured.

    ‘But fine, I won’t make your precious living room smell of smoke, but you’ve got to come in the garden with me.’

    Dawn tightened her bathrobe, a little nervous that she was naked underneath it, and knowing that she would freeze at this time of night outside. She shook her wet hair from her face and followed Drew to the patio doors, which he slid across so quickly that they crashed loudly. That’s some addiction he has that he is willing to trash the house in pursuit to inhale smoke, Dawn thought with an amused smile.

    Drew stepped onto the concrete slabs and leaned against the wall, lighting one of his cigarettes before Dawn had even got outside.

    ‘Cold much?’ Drew asked, smoke swirling from his mouth as he spoke, eyeing Dawn’s shivering, ‘well you should put some clothes on then.’

    ‘I didn’t know I would have to come out here.’

    ‘Come here,’ Drew laughed, putting his arm around Dawn’s tiny frame and pulling her against him.

    ‘Er…what are you…?’ Dawn tried, blushing.

    ‘Keeping you warm divvy, what do you think?’

    ‘Oh…thanks.’

    ‘I guess I will have to turn my head though,’ Drew said, taking another drag of his *** and blowing the smoke to his left, away from Dawn, ‘appreciate this.’

    Dawn giggled and let her head lean against Drew’s chest carefully, secretly blissful. They stayed silent, Dawn’s eyes slowly closing with tiredness and how warm and tender she felt in this position.

    ‘Dawn, don’t get falling asleep on me,’ Drew said loudly, throwing his scut onto the floor and treading on it, ‘come on.’

    He kept his arm around her and led them into the house, closing the patio doors with one hand. Dawn kept her body against Drew, but opened her can and sipped at it with her hands, licking her lips at the tangy taste of lager. It wasn’t the nicest taste in the world, but she had gotten used to it.

    ‘Can we watch a film?’ Dawn asked quietly.

    ‘Long as I get to pick.’

    ‘Inevitable.’



    ‘Creep?!’ Dawn shrieked, when Drew came back downstairs with a DVD, ‘why that film?!’

    ‘’Cause I get to pick.’

    After only half an hour into the film, Dawn had sprung from her place in the armchair and had snuck over to Drew, who was lounging on the sofa as if he was watching Scooby-Doo.

    ‘Drew…I don’t like this,’ Dawn whimpered, not caring about appearing immature.

    ‘Relax, it hasn’t got to the worst bits yet.’

    ‘What?’ she spluttered.

    She chose this moment to look at the television screen, where a screeching sound similar to a crow had just started. Dawn jumped in shock and grabbed Drew’s hand which was laying absently on his leg. Drew’s eyes widened slightly and he looked down at the contact, but Dawn seemed too scared to care. She didn’t let go of him until it finally got to a scene where lots of writing was scrolling up the screen…the credits.

    ‘I…didn’t…like…that,’ Dawn breathed, ‘that is the most horrible film I have ever seen!’

    She loosened her grip of Drew’s hand and slipped hers away from him. He smirked and thrust a bottle in front of Dawn’s eyes.

    ‘What’s that?’ she asked.

    ‘Whiskey, very strong,’ Drew answered, ‘drink that and your fear will go away.’

    ‘Oh shut up,’ Dawn said, but nevertheless took a large mouthful of it.

    It burnt her throat slightly, a similar occurrence to drinking pure vodka. She coughed and handed the bottle back to Drew, who shrugged at her.

    ‘It’s not for everyone.’

    ‘I’m going to bed,’ Dawn said quietly, ‘the mixture of alcohol and that film has taken its toll on me.’

    She smiled, walking out of the room and up the stairs. She hated horror films and hoped that she wouldn’t be scared once her room was pitch black and it was time to sleep.

    Drew got up from the sofa and took a final gulp of whiskey. There was no point staying down there on his own, and he just needed to tell Dawn that he had business and stuff in the morning. He jogged up the stairs and over to Dawn’s bedroom door. It was slightly open, so he pushed it a little more, immediately regretting he had. Dawn had slipped her bathrobe off, and was in pyjama shorts…and nothing else. She had her back to him and was tying her hair into a ponytail. Without even meaning to, Drew directed his eyes to the full length mirror in the room, catching a long glimpse of her front.

    ‘Shit,’ Drew hissed to himself, jolting away from the door before Dawn noticed him.

    He shouldn’t of seen that. She was his cousin’s wife…

    But he had seen her. Seen what he could’ve seen the other night, had Dawn not stopped it. He couldn't help but feel for the woman living with him. The woman Paul had and he didn't...

    ‘Drew?’ Dawn peeked around her bedroom door, and he noticed that she now had a small, pink vest one, ‘you okay? Aren’t you going to bed?’

    ‘Yeah, g’night,’ Drew said, turning away and walking into his room before she could speak again.

    Dawn stared after him in confusion and padded back into her room. She pulled back her duvet and climbed into bed, turning the light off and blinking in the darkness. She stared up at her ceiling for over ten minutes, pondering about Hustlers and what it would be like with May there. She, herself, hadn’t been there in months.

    She closed her eyes, but they flew open at a creak in the room. The house was large and old, so it was imminent. However, after watching that film, Dawn clutched her quilt uneasily at such a noise.

    After twenty more minutes of feeling scared and uneasy, Dawn crept surreptitiously out of the room and across the hall. She rested her hands upon Drew’s door for a few moments, before turning the handle and opening it quietly. His room was slightly lighter than hers as it was at the front of the house, so rays from the moon and streetlamps crept through his curtains.

    Drew was lying on his side in the double-bed, his eyes closed and peaceful. Dawn had never seen Drew asleep, apart from on various aeroplane trips, but that was different. Rather this was different. Seeing him so mild and gentle…

    Dawn tip-toed around the bed and snuck underneath his quilt, being careful not to disturb him. Getting closer to him, she could feel his bare back against her arm, causing her to shiver.

    ‘Drew…’ Dawn whispered, resting a hand on his shoulder and peering at his face.

    Drew turned so that he was lying on his back, but didn’t wake. Dawn stared down at his slightly parted lips, his sleeping eyes and his slowly rising chest. Not concluded on whether to wake him, Dawn brushed Drew’s fringe from his eyes and savoured the sound of his soft breathing. Deciding on her next action and determined not to feel guilty, she brushed her lips against his delicately. When he didn’t wake, she pressed her lips gently against his mouth, moving her hand down onto his cheek.

    Drew’s eyes opened and he pulled away from Dawn as a reflex.

    ‘Dawn?’ he asked groggily.

    ‘I was scared,’ she whispered, moving her hand from his face and blushing deeply, ‘I’m sorry.’

    ‘What? You want to stay in here?’ Drew asked, rubbing his eyes and looking at her properly.

    ‘Is that okay?’ she mumbled.

    ‘Why not?’ Drew said hoarsely, though he could think of a very good reason that was away in America.

    ‘Thank you Drew…’

    Drew lifted slightly from his pillow and Dawn met his face, kissing him and allowing him to pull her onto his torso. Dawn was breathless as she fell back against the other pillow, Drew lying over her and kissing her passionately. His hand was moving along the soft material of her vest and felt a sharp intake of breath from Dawn as he reached her chest. She arched her back slightly and wrapped her arms around Drew’s neck, both of their breaths becoming faster.

    Drew moved his face down to kiss Dawn’s neck and collarbone, causing her to make a small squeaking sound. She sounded so young. So sweet. So desirable. But she wasn’t his. If he carried on, he wouldn’t be able to stop and he knew it. Drew broke the kiss and watched as Dawn stared at him, her eyes big with confusion.

    ‘Dawn, stop,’ Drew said quietly.

    ‘Why?’ Dawn asked breathlessly, lifting her head to kiss him again.

    ‘’Cause…’

    ‘Because what?’

    ‘I don’t trust myself,’ Drew murmured.

    He gently slipped his hand from her body and moved back to his own pillow. Dawn looked upset and embarrassed, so Drew slid her over to him and held her under the quilt, to which she snuggled against him, feeling protected. She was still sad that Drew stopped, but closed her eyes anyway, willing sleep to take her.

    ‘Goodnight Dawn,’ Drew whispered, caressing her back with his hand gently.

    ‘Night…’


    ***


    ‘Misty, when you get this give me a call!’ Drew said heatedly into his mobile for the third time that morning.

    He felt like smashing the phone against the floor, but it was a £200 mobile and he couldn’t be arsed to give everyone a new number. It was obvious that Misty was blanking his calls. Some bloody cheek she had.

    ‘Dawn,’ Drew shouted, advancing into his room and staring at Dawn’s sleeping figure, ‘Dawn! Wake up!’

    She stirred quietly in her sleep, her eyes beginning to open, searching for the source of the awakening. Her eyes focused on Drew and a small smile crept onto her dry lips. She propped her body onto her elbow and brushed her hair back from her face groggily.

    Yes?’ she asked comically.

    ‘I have stuff to do, so you’ll be here on your own for a few hours. If you need anything I’ll have my phone. In emergency, my shotgun is in the loose floorboard under the rug in the computer room-’

    ‘Drew stop!’ Dawn said, almost laughing, ‘I am old enough to take care of myself. Why are you so paranoid?’

    ‘I’m not, I’m always like this because I know some of the ****-heads that would use you to get to me…I mean Paul,’ he said quickly, grabbing a coat from his wardrobe and eyeing his face in the mirror.

    ‘Okay…way to make me feel safe Drew,’ she said, too quiet for him to hear her.

    Drew was brushing a hand across his jaw, a frown imprinted on his face coldly. Dawn tied her hair in a ponytail quickly and he noticed her looking at him in the mirror.

    ‘What?’

    ‘You are amazingly vain for a man,’ she said lightly.

    ‘I haven’t had time to bastard shave,’ Drew snapped, backing away from the mirror and looking disgruntled.

    Dawn got to her feet and turned Drew to face her. She lifted a hand and stroked it across his right cheek, feeling the bristles of his unshaven skin under hers. She let her hand slip from his face hastily and smiled, ‘I think you look fine. Slightly rugged is good…’

    Drew cocked an eyebrow at her in amusement and shook his head. Dawn was so appealing and beautiful to him, but he had already convinced himself that nothing was to happen between them. Nothing more anyway. She was married and he could be a father…

    *

    ‘Ash, open this fucking door or I will break it down and then kick the shit out of you without explanation!’ Drew yelled.

    He was about to draw back his foot to kick it, when the sound of the lock being pulled back was heard from inside. The door open, but stopped after about a few inches due to the chain. A man of about twenty-six years stared at Drew coldly through the gap, his unruly black hair hadn’t changed in the three years since Drew had seen him.

    ‘What?’ Ash snapped.

    ‘Excuse me…’

    Drew smiled and Ash’s eyes widened in confusion, but it soon became clear what Drew had been thinking. He moved forwards sharply, colliding with the door and shocking Ash. His strength broke the pitiful chain instantly. Ash stepped back in horror, watching Drew carefully as he walked in and slammed the door behind him.

    ‘Where is Misty?’ Drew asked shortly.

    ‘Mate, I don’t know,’ Ash tried, putting his hands in front of him, ‘I saw her a couple of weeks ago and you must’ve seen her since then.’

    ‘Don’t lie to me!’ Drew yelled, walking forwards and pushing Ash aside, staring around the living room and hall, ‘is she here?’

    ‘No! The last I heard she went to her mother’s.’

    ‘Phone her!’

    ‘What?’

    ‘I said phone her!’ Drew said angrily, grabbing the landline from the wall and shoving it towards Ash, ‘put her on loud speaker and ask her where she is. Let her know that you are doing it on my behalf and I will lamp you.’

    ‘Lamp…?’

    ‘I will kick the living shit out of you and possibly put you in intensive care! Got it?’

    Ash looked as though he was about to argue but, seeing the serious and dark tone in Drew’s tired eyes, he obviously decided better of it. Putting the phone on speakerphone, he dialled Misty’s mobile number and let it ring. After about four rings, Misty’s alert voice answered. Drew’s eyes narrowed and his blood boiled. So she would answer the phone to this tosser and not to him?

    ‘Hello? Ash?’ Misty’s voice asked.

    ‘Yeah Mist it’s me,’ Ash said hoarsely, ‘where are you?’

    ‘I told you last night that I would be at my apartment all day today,’ Misty said, sounding confused.

    Drew clenched his fist tightly and gave Ash a sarcastic smile.

    ‘Ash? Is everything okay?’

    Drew covered the mouth piece and whispered in Ash’s ear, ‘tell her that everything is fine but you won’t be able to talk to her for a bit because you are going to have a long nap.’

    Ash gave Drew a disgusted look and shook his head in defiance. Drew pulled one side of his jacket open, revealing a small, black pistol, and he didn’t look as though he was kidding.

    ‘Now,’ he mouthed.

    ‘Misty, sorry but I won’t be able to talk for a bit because I am going to take a long nap.’

    ‘What, are you okay?’ Misty asked.

    ‘Yes, just tiredness. See you.’

    ‘Bye honey.’

    As soon as Ash had hung up the phone, Drew punched him forcefully in the stomach. He stumbled in shock quickly yelping for him to think about what he did, but Drew was too fired up to care. He grabbed Ash by his shoulders and pinned him against the wall violently, his teeth gritted in anger. Ash was unsure of whether Drew had been drinking or why he was suddenly here. Though, actually, he had a pretty good idea…

    ‘I am going to see Misty now, as you have probably guessed,’ Drew hissed, ‘if you phone or contact her to let her know that I am going, I will come back and I will do what I wanted to do years ago!’

    He gave Ash a final look on contempt and swept out of the flat, zipping his jacket up to hide the gun on his belt. His temper was so high that he was almost scared that he wouldn’t be able to control it. Not that he would care doing anything to Ash, on the contrary he would pride in it. However…Misty. He had to be careful around her.


    After driving through three red lights and narrowly missing a lorry, Drew arrived at Misty’s apartment, his breath short in anticipation. He closed his eyes in order to contain his fury and knocked lightly on the door. Misty opened it almost immediately, her eyes widening at the sight of Drew. She tried to close the door again, but Drew jammed his foot in the way.

    ‘Drew, go away!’ Misty cried, as he pushed the door open and walked in.

    ‘What the fuck have I done?’ Drew shouted, walking in and standing over her threateningly, ‘you just went to see your Mom and suddenly you ain’t talking to me!’

    ‘Just please…go!’ she shrieked.

    ‘Are you pregnant?!’ Drew asked loudly, ‘tell me!’

    ‘Yes!’

    ‘Is it mine?’

    ‘I don’t know!’ Misty screamed.

    ‘What the fuck do you mean, you don’t know?!’ Drew yelled, taken aback, ‘you mean there is a possibility that it isn’t?’

    She didn’t answer him, and Drew stepped forwards angrily, so Misty had to press herself against the wall to remain away from him. Her red hair was messy, but still in somehow-perfect curly waves around her shoulders, reaching down to her chest. She was so pretty…in a different way to Dawn. She was twenty eight, so much more mature than May, Dawn and any other attractive girl he knew.

    She had the look of a 1930s pin-up girl. Her waves reminded him of the hair of a model like Marilyn Monroe or Dita Von Teese. Though her hair was different, it still gave her that look in the way she held herself and her full lips, that were usually a dark red or pink. Her figure was tiny, smaller even than Dawn’s and sometimes it annoyed Drew at just how thin she was. Almost unhealthily.

    ‘You better put on weight.’

    ‘What?’

    ‘If the baby is mine, I don’t want your pathetic eating habits to kill it, put on weight or you will lose it!’

    ‘Fuck you Drew! As if you give a shit about the baby!’

    ‘Don’t start me Misty!’ Drew hissed.

    ‘What are you gonna’ do about it? What if I told you that I don’t really give a shit about you or your life? You are pitiful, you are gonna’ get yourself killed and I won’t shed a tear when you do!’

    Drew put a hand to Misty’s throat sharply and she flinched, but didn’t stop.

    ‘I loved you!’ she sobbed, tears suddenly bursting out of her eyes, ‘I gave you my heart and soul, loved you with all my heart! You never loved me, I know you didn’t! So now I am standing on my own!’

    ‘Bullshit!’ Drew said through gritted teeth, ‘you have always been a little slag.’

    Misty looked as though he had slapped her. So she returned it. Drawing back her hand, she hit Drew as hard as she could. He tensed in shock, but (like when Dawn pushed him), it barely moved him.

    ‘You know how to fucking test me!’ Drew said, tightening his grip on her throat before even thinking about what he was doing.

    Misty gave a small cry as Drew refused to let go, breathing heavily from his anger.

    ‘Is that what you will do Drew?’ Misty asked quietly, ‘kill me? You would kill a woman and her baby?’

    ‘Shut up! Just shut up!’ Drew spat, practically shaking in fury.

    He didn’t know what he was doing. He had never treated Misty like this, but then again she had never acted the way she had either. But he couldn’t kill her. Even if she wasn’t pregnant, he wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

    He pulled his hand away from her neck slowly, taking a small step back from her. She looked petrified but confused, lifting a hand and stroking her neck lightly.

    ‘Just get out…please…’ Misty whispered, staring at Drew fearfully.

    ‘You will tell me if the baby is mine, and if you don’t…’ Drew trailed off but he knew he made his point as he stared at her in contempt.

    Misty was left to cry on her own as Drew walked out, leaving the front door open. He would know… He would know that she had slept with Ash if she told him…


    ***


    ‘May…hold still!’ Dawn snaps.

    ‘I don’t like the idea of what you’re doing!’ I snap back.

    ‘Just give me two more seconds…’

    Dawn tightens the strap at the back of my tube-top and ties it in a bow hastily, standing back in triumph.

    ‘Dawn…what did you…?’ I stop as I walk over to Dawn’s full length mirror, a smile slowly forming on my lips.

    The shirt belonging to Danika had been too big, but Dawn has worked magic with it. She has cut the bottom (which I wasn’t sure about at first, but it actually works) so that it shows some of my stomach, and her strap work has meant that it doesn’t hang too low. It does however (I can’t help but notice), make my chest look…big. According to Dawn that is a very good thing, and that she would love to have breasts like mine. Lovely to have such an upfront friend.

    ‘Give us a twirl,’ Dawn says with a giggle.

    I do so and feel my cheeks flush with happiness. I haven’t been out like this in years. My short, denim skirt is “well sexy” as Dawn calls it, but not sleazy at all. This baby-blue tube top is fantastic too! Danika bought it from River Island in Telford about three years ago but never wore it. How fab!

    I have to say though…Dawn looks incredible. Though she won’t allow me to compliment her. She is in a black, leather skirt reaching to just above her knees, with a studded silver belt, and has a black top/vest that is in the shape of a V that only covers her chest, showing off her perfect toned tummy. It reminds me of the blue one Christina Aguilera wore in her Candy Man video and say so.

    ‘The one she is wearin’ at the end when they pick her up and Candy gets written on the screen?’

    ‘Yeah, except black. And yours is a bit smaller, but the shape is pretty much the same.’

    ‘Ah, sound.’

    She has her hair tied into a spiky “peacock” as she calls it, and it flatters her face so well. She told me to keep my hair down but to straighten it and tuck one side behind my ear and hold it there with a clip. God, she is like some sort of party mentor.

    ‘Dawn!’ Drew shouts.

    ‘Oh, he’s back!’ Dawn says quickly, ‘I’ll be back in a second.’

    She hurries out of the room, and it seems that Drew is already making his way upstairs, because I can here their voices from the landing.

    ‘Where have you been?’ I hear Dawn ask, ‘I thought you were only going to be gone for the morning.’

    ‘Well, I’m back now,’ Drew’s voice sounds sharp and ticked off, ‘you look nice. Where’s your ID, I’ll put it in my jacket ready.’

    ‘On the side.’

    ‘Alright.’

    I hear Drew run back down the stairs and Dawn flies back into the room, swiping a handbag from the bed.

    ‘Ready to go?’ she asks, giving her make-up one last check over.

    ‘Yeah,’ I say, turning back to the mirror and looking myself up and down self-consciously.

    ‘Dawn!’ Drew yells, ‘where’s your ID?’

    She and I walk out of the room and start to walk down the stairs, while Dawn tuts and huffs at Drew’s inability to follow simple instructions.

    ‘On the side!’ she repeats impatiently.

    ‘There’s about twenty fucking sides in here!’ he shouts.

    ‘May, my ID is on the side, will you go and get it?’ Dawn asks, going into the living room for some reason.

    I walk in and look over at one of the counters. Ah, there it is. I walk over and pick it up, tapping Drew’s shoulder to let him know.

    ‘How the…fuckin’ women,’ he curses, ‘you two ready to go?’

    ‘Yeah…er…’ I trail off, noticing his change in clothes choice: a long, white and brown shirt and light jeans, sounds simple but really goes, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t wait at the flat. Dawn invited me around earlier.’

    ‘I’d forgot so it’s a good job you did. Come on, we better head to Hustlers now. If we don’t get there before the priories then they won’t let Gary in.’

    I consider asking about the priories, but knowing Drew’s allowances of speech, I decide better of it. I feel two hands on my waist and Dawn whispers in my ear so quietly that I can’t make out what she is saying.

    ‘Come again?’

    ‘Don’t ask about the priories…’ she says faintly.

    Thank God for that.


    *


    ‘Hello Andrew,’ a huge, African-British bouncer says to Drew, nodding at him in recognition.

    Drew steps to the side, to let Dawn and I forward. The bouncer stares at Dawn for a second and nods to let her through. Oh good, she didn’t even have to show her ID. I go to follow and the bouncer holds out his arm quickly, shaking his head.

    ‘ID please.’

    ‘I…’

    Shit and double merde! I haven’t brought my bloody ID…

    ‘Here mate,’ Drew says, stepping towards the bouncer and smiling fairly, ‘look at her. She ain’t under twenty-one, you can tell.’

    The bouncer looks from Drew to me.

    ‘She ya missus?’ he asks slowly.

    ‘Yeah,’ Drew puts an arm around my waist quickly, pulling me close to him.

    I blush in shock, but go along with it.

    ‘Ya know I’m right, just let her in.’

    Drew’s hand slips down to my hip as he ***** his head to one side, as though daring the bouncer to say no. After a final look at my chest (which kind of freaks me out) and face, the bouncer nods and steps back to let us pass. I expect Drew to let me go, but instead he stands behind me, keeping his hands on my waist, ushering me to the side of the room, Dawn following close behind.

    ‘If the bouncers ask you, you are my missus,’ Drew hisses in a low voice.

    ‘Where’s Gary?’ I ask after nodding in acknowledgement at Drew.

    ‘He is already here, that’s why we didn’t pick him up. Unreliable bastard.’

    I laugh and shake my head at Drew’s use of language. So creative.

    ‘Let’s darrrnce,’ Dawn says, faking Drew’s accent and pulling me towards the dance floor.

    The song “My neck, my back” by Khia is on and I am almost embarrassed at the language in it. Nevertheless, Danika and I used to make up sexy dances a lot in Shropshire, so I follow Dawn’s lead and sashay my hips and waist, enjoying myself to the full. I look over at Drew after the second song on ends. He is leaning against the bar, drinking a pint and watching Dawn and I dance, his eyes soft.

    My eyes seek Gary, but I can’t find him…

    ‘Hey ladies,’ Drew comes over, holding a bottle of Smirn Off and a pint of lager, ‘Dawn I need to talk to you a sec’.’

    ‘May, will you be okay?’ Dawn asks in a shout over the music.

    ‘Fine.’

    I don’t mind dancing alone, and accept the bottle of Smirn Off that Drew hands to me before walking away with Dawn. I gulp the tasty liquid down and look around the room. It is so alive! The ceiling is low and the thumping bass of the room vibrates everything, strobe lights and twisters matching the music. The floor is made up of checkers, all flashing different colours: also in time with the beating music. At the left side of this enormous room, there is a raised, long platform with poles reaching the ceiling are. At first I am at a loss of what they are, until I see a tarty brunette get up and start dancing on one. Fat chance am I doing that!

    ***


    ‘No, I’m sorry Drew,’ Dawn said, allowing someone to go past them into the men’s toilets, ‘I am not questioning her.’

    ‘You said you would!’ Drew hissed.

    ‘She won’t say anything and she is so innocent, I can’t do that.’

    ‘Fine, I will,’ Drew said, ‘don’t worry I’ll do it nicely.’

    He grabbed Dawn’s arm and pulled her out of the toilet corridor and back into the club room. When they spotted May, she was standing by the bar, racing vodka shots with a brown-haired guy.

    ‘You’re shit!’ the man yelled at her, laughing and Dawn and Drew realised that it was Gary.

    ***

    How does Gary expect me to beat him at drinking vodka shots? Honestly.

    ‘I have never drunk vodka before,’ I admit, giggling and feeling immensely happy.

    Just one Smirn off and two vodka shots, and I can feel the alcohol going to my head. Gary pulls me onto the dance floor and pulls me close to him, as I twist my body in time with a speed garage version of “Riders on the Storm” by Snoop Dogg and the Doors. Gary runs his hands along my waist and I close my eyes, enjoying the contact. He puts his hands on the small of my back and presses me against him, so my shoulders and head are slightly back, like a position from Dirty Dancing.

    I look to my left and see Drew and Dawn dancing, well…Dawn dancing. Drew is simply seeming to enjoy watching her, and she sometimes includes him in her little routines: pressing her hips to his and only moving the top half of her body, or putting her back to him and rocking her whole body with a mischievous smirk.

    ‘Drink!’ I shout, catching Dawn’s attention and she smiles, nodding.

    We both jolt away from the men and over to the bar, where Dawn orders two Russian Reds, which she assures me is only thirty percent alcohol. Er…isn’t that a lot? They are small glasses, about twice the size of a shot glass. Dawn grins and downs hers in one, cringing at the taste and then smiling in triumph. I look at my glass of red liquid apprehensively and try my best to down it too. About three quarters slip down my throat and I splutter on the rest, some of it spilling down my top.

    ‘You okay?’ Dawn laughs, her voice showing signs of tipsiness.

    ‘Fab!’ I laugh with her, feeling so high that nothing can change it.

    ‘May,’ Gary says, clambering over and looking at me apologetically, ‘I have to go.’

    ‘Oh why?’ I slur, putting my hands on his shoulders and putting my face close to his.

    ‘Phoebe has just text and told me that she feels really sick, and could I take her to the hospital,’ he shouts above the music, ‘it could be something serious. I’m sorry.’

    He kisses me and I respond quickly by opening my mouth and pressing myself closer to him. Oh…I’m so happy tonight. Hehe.

    ‘Bye,’ Gary says, pulling away after a few moments and looking breathless.

    I hehe my way back onto the dance floor, pulling an amused Dawn with me. Drew comes over, accompanied by a tall guy who must be about nineteen.

    ‘Dawn, dance with Keith. You,’ he said, turning to look down at Keith (yes…down, shows how bloody tall he is), ‘don’t get too touchy with her.’

    I feel slightly confused as Drew pulls me to one side, and Dawn goes off with Keith. A soft, love song comes on (still retaining its amazing beat) and Drew takes me to a less crowded part of the floor, putting his hands on my ribs - high waist. Still quite confuzzled, I respond by moving forwards and wrapping one arm around his neck and leaving the other one by my side, moving at a fast pace to the music.

    ‘May…’ Drew whispers closely in my ear, pulling me as close as is possible to him and pressing his forehead to mine, ‘do you trust me?’

    ‘I trust you,’ I slur, giggling.

    ‘Do you trust Dawn as much as me?’

    ‘I love ya both!’ I laugh.

    ‘So if Dawn asked about me…asked you to tell her what you know about me? Or what I have done, would you tell her?’

    He is smiling and I grin childishly.

    ‘No, of course I wouldn’t!’ I say loudly, ‘what’s about you is your business! You have every secretive to be right!’

    ‘Yeah…something like that,’ he smirks in response.

    He pulls an unopened packet of cigarettes from his pocket and gestures to them.

    ‘I am goin’ for a fag.’

    ‘I’ll come!’ I yell hastily.

    I try to move sharply from my place and stumble, realising just how much the drink is effecting me. Drew grabs my shoulders hastily and I laugh and cling to his arm, struggling to walk in a straight line to the door. The bouncers give me a dirty look but they quickly vanish after a small glare from Drew. We walk a few metres away from the door along the side of the building and I can still hear the beat and singing of the music. It sounds so good that I start to dance again, singing along quietly.

    Drew is leaning against the wall, smoking and watching me with an amused smile. I slink over to him and pick the cigarette from his hand and take a drag sexily, blowing the smoke up into the air. To be honest, Danika got me into smoking when I was fourteen until I was sixteen, so I can inhale. Drew raises one eyebrow as I twirl around, still holding the *** in one hand.

    ‘Hey! Gimme my fake back, May,’ Drew calls, coming over and plucking it from my fingers.

    ‘Now that’s just very mean!’ I pout, poking his arm and he-heing to myself, ‘I demand that you give me some of that cigar!’

    ‘Oh, this is a cigar is it?’ Drew asks in a fake-inquisitive tone.

    I ignore his question and fling my arms around his neck, leaning against him and leaning my head into his shoulder, laughing quietly. Drew doesn’t respond to me so I poke his cheek a couple of times, which seems to annoy him.

    ‘May, stop being stupid.’

    He pushes me away gently, but I only laugh again, wondering what he is doing.

    ‘I once…’ I start, tapping his arm and grinning, ‘slept with a guy I met at a club…’

    ‘Uhuh.’

    ‘Yeah…he weren’t as good looking as you,’ I say flirtatiously, ‘so…I like you more than him.’

    ‘Come on, we’re going back inside,’ Drew says, throwing what is left of his fag on the floor and grabbing my arm.

    ‘Why…why don’t we go somewhere else…?’ I ask, giggling, ‘I don’t think Gary would mind if I had…intimacy with you.’

    Drew ignores my fantabulous idea and drags me back to the door.

    ‘Something wrong?’ one of the bouncers asks as Drew pulls me roughly back towards the club doors.

    ‘Her,’ Drew snaps, not letting go of my arm.

    ‘Ooh, Drew Scathen is having trouble controlling his missus,’ one of them snickers to the other, just loud enough for Drew to hear them.

    ‘Shut-the-fuck-up!’ he snaps, standing up straight and letting me go.

    ‘Well, soz but she’s no Dawn,’ the bouncers look me up and down, ‘she looks like a Nursery teacher to me, have you shagged her yet?’

    ‘You don’t know me well enough to ask me that now shut the-’

    ‘Come on Andrew, we knew you when you were barely eighteen,’ the black bouncer says, he turns his eyes to me, ‘I’ve never known you go for the motherly type.’

    Something seems to snap in Drew, and the pale-faced bouncer’s eyes seem to grow wide rather quickly. He tears his hand from my arm and grabs the bouncer who last spoke by his jacket and smacks him against the wall.

    ‘Don’t say that to me!’ Drew growls, and it is shocking that although less-broad, he was in fact taller than the two men, ‘and you won’t look at her again,’ he gestures to me with a flick of his head, ‘unless you are holding a door open for her. Got it?’

    ‘Mommy’s boy,’ the black bouncer whispers, looking far less scared of Drew than the other.

    The bouncer pushes Drew roughly away from him and a small gasp escapes my mouth when I see that he has a knife in his hand. Drew’s hand slips into his jacket and my eyes widen at what he pulls out. What was said seems to have angered Drew too much for him to control it. The sight seems to sober my mind slightly and I rush forwards as Drew start to pull the trigger of a Desert Eagle .50.

    ‘Don’t!’ I scream, running towards him hastily.

    I hear an almighty bang heading for my direction and I freeze in terror, feeling numb. Drew’s grip has loosened in shock on the gun and he is staring at me blankly, his posture altering from his fierce stance. He pockets the smoking gun and hurries forward to catch my body as I fall, my eyes starting to close…

    **************


    Bad Drew! xD Well...there it is. Number 5. it is hard to believe after so much time there is still only five chapters of this fic...ah well. I really hope that it is okay. Thanks to everyone for the fab reviews I get. PLease R&R

    PM List:

    honey_clover112
    HelloKitty17
    shadow_shipper
    miakimluv
    littledreamindawn
    Liberty4Pokemon
    Oreo754
    cutey_Kat12
    Tsugumi Winters
    mayloverxxx
    Last edited by CuteDrew667; 10th June 2007 at 11:19 PM.

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  14. #64
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    2,982

    Default

    OMG DREW!? What the hell is wrong with you??! D: You shot May!! My favorite character....

    I enjoyed the May/Drew moments so much, and I'm glad you're actually putting some Contestshipping into this. Cause to be totally honest, I loathe Belleshipping so much. xDD; But that whole bed scene with Dawn and Drew was written nicely. I just would of liked it better if Dawn switched with May *shotshotshot!!!* xDDD Sorry. My crazed Contestshipping self is coming out.

    Drew is one bad guy in this fic. But I really like how you're making his character. The tough bad guy that everybody is afraid of. I felt so bad for Misty, when he was choking her. Poor girl. D: Why must you make Drew hurt everybody!? xDDD! SAMII! You evil girl. xD

    You tend to like getting May totally wasted in your fics, don't you? I recall her doing the same thing in Hot Chocolate. xD But drunk May would be so hilarious to actually see. I love how she was flirting with Drew and everything while she was drunk, not knowing what the hell was going on. GREEAT!

    Wow...I'm being way too hyper writing this comment. I guess I'm just enjoying this fic so much, even with all the belleshipping in it. But you are an amazing writer, no matter what you're writing. Keep up the good work, and I can't wait to see the next chapter!!

  15. #65
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    5

    Default

    Hey, it's me...00HeartInTheClouds from youtube. You're story is marvelous. Brunetteshipping, Belleshipping, Misty Drew, Contestshipping, Ikarishipping. Just lovely. Keep it up and I look forward to your next chapter.
    May-I love him
    Drew-They hate me
    Sarah-Forget about me
    My fanfic, Triangles, soon to be up on Fanfiction.net

  16. #66
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England... being blonde
    Posts
    464

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mandikitty View Post
    OMG DREW!? What the hell is wrong with you??! D: You shot May!! My favorite character....

    I enjoyed the May/Drew moments so much, and I'm glad you're actually putting some Contestshipping into this. Cause to be totally honest, I loathe Belleshipping so much. xDD; But that whole bed scene with Dawn and Drew was written nicely. I just would of liked it better if Dawn switched with May *shotshotshot!!!* xDDD Sorry. My crazed Contestshipping self is coming out.

    Drew is one bad guy in this fic. But I really like how you're making his character. The tough bad guy that everybody is afraid of. I felt so bad for Misty, when he was choking her. Poor girl. D: Why must you make Drew hurt everybody!? xDDD! SAMII! You evil girl. xD

    You tend to like getting May totally wasted in your fics, don't you? I recall her doing the same thing in Hot Chocolate. xD But drunk May would be so hilarious to actually see. I love how she was flirting with Drew and everything while she was drunk, not knowing what the hell was going on. GREEAT!

    Wow...I'm being way too hyper writing this comment. I guess I'm just enjoying this fic so much, even with all the belleshipping in it. But you are an amazing writer, no matter what you're writing. Keep up the good work, and I can't wait to see the next chapter!!
    oh mandi, thank you so much!! Yesh Drew a proper baddie isn''t he and of course i dont blame you for preferring the CS moments to BS The CS moments were fun to write, especially May getting drunk because you're right May is hilarious as a drunk and she was in hot Chocolate.
    hehe I make Drew hurt everyone? Believe it or not he is a damn sight better than Paul, but that will be shown later...^^ and yeah the Misty scene was edited about three times before I finally settled on what happened. I like hyper comments!!! thanks so much Mandi again, this comment was lovely!

    Quote Originally Posted by BeautyIsInTheLove View Post
    Hey, it's me...00HeartInTheClouds from youtube. You're story is marvelous. Brunetteshipping, Belleshipping, Misty Drew, Contestshipping, Ikarishipping. Just lovely. Keep it up and I look forward to your next chapter.
    thankies le new reader, hi from youtube. Yesh, I have a lot of ships in this story, think its cus I am such a shipper

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  17. #67
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    England... Or maybe I'm not...
    Posts
    17

    Default

    Its review time again, yay. now,where to start, i might as well say it, i really did have too many spoilers this chappie, including the shooting (every part), the alley scene (all of it) bits about hustlers, and the shower curtain thing. and everyone I am very sad to say it, but the spoiler i said in the last chappie review has been delayed, I was told last night so I am upset, instead chappie 7 is supposedly lucky for someone else... But I shall say no more. But... this chappie has given me something to smile about as me and Samz have exams in a few hours time. And now , on to...


    Gangs of London

    Chapter 5
    - Review
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Dress nice but sexy.’
    And it starts...
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    It was amazing how much the water could relax her. That was until she heard Drew call her from inside her room, and Dawn practically ripped the shower curtain off the wall in shock.

    ‘What…Drew?’ Dawn spluttered, grabbing a towel hastily and stepping out of the shower.

    ‘Oh…you decent?’ Drew asked, and Dawn was amused in seeing that he had his arm over his eyes, awaiting for her to come out.
    Showercurtain, anyone?
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘I just wanted to know if you had already gone to bed, cause’ I am gonna’ have a drink. Not that I give a fuck,
    What a load of bollocks
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    but having a drink with you would be slightly better than one on my own,’ Drew said, eyeing Dawn’s pink face.
    He's practically asking for sex. When will it ever happen?
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Dawn…you’re soaking me.’

    ‘Excuse me?’

    Drew reached up and squeezed a chunk of Dawn’s hair, so that water seeped through his fingers.

    ‘Your hair is soaking and you are leaning over me,’ he gestured to the water that had dripped onto his shirt with one eyebrow slightly raised, ‘move.’
    I really was not sure when you sent the spoiler "Dawn... you're soaking me."
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    'Come here,’ Drew laughed, putting his arm around Dawn’s tiny frame and pulling her against him.

    ‘Er…what are you…?’ Dawn tried, blushing.

    ‘Keeping you warm divvy, what do you think?’

    ‘Oh…thanks.’

    ‘I guess I will have to turn my head though,’ Drew said, taking another drag of his *** and blowing the smoke to his left, away from Dawn, ‘appreciate this.’

    Dawn giggled and let her head lean against Drew’s chest carefully, secretly blissful. They stayed silent, Dawn’s eyes slowly closing with tiredness and how warm and tender she felt in this position.
    Intimacy has been great in this chapter...
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Drew got up from the sofa and took a final gulp of whiskey. There was no point staying down there on his own, and he just needed to tell Dawn that he had business and stuff in the morning. He jogged up the stairs and over to Dawn’s bedroom door. It was slightly open, so he pushed it a little more, immediately regretting he had. Dawn had slipped her bathrobe off, and was in pyjama shorts…and nothing else. She had her back to him and was tying her hair into a ponytail. Without even meaning to, Drew directed his eyes to the full length mirror in the room, catching a long glimpse of her front.

    ‘Shit,’ Drew hissed to himself, jolting away from the door before Dawn noticed him.

    He shouldn’t of seen that. She was his cousin’s wife…

    But he had seen her. Seen what he could’ve seen the other night, had Dawn not stopped it. He couldn't help but feel for the woman living with him. The woman Paul had and he didn't...
    Firstly, poor Drew, not having Dawn, but I think we can guess that they will get closer, it's as inevitable as Dew choosing a film.
    Secondly, I was hiding behind the mirror, so I was nervous when Drew shot his head in my direction, lucky thing he was looking at what I was.
    Thirdly (now out of fanboyism), That was absolutely fantastic.
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Dawn?’ he asked groggily.

    ‘I was scared,’ she whispered, moving her hand from his face and blushing deeply, ‘I’m sorry.’

    ‘What? You want to stay in here?’ Drew asked, rubbing his eyes and looking at her properly.

    ‘Is that okay?’ she mumbled.

    ‘Why not?’ Drew said hoarsely, though he could think of a very good reason that was away in America.
    I win, I know 3 reasons,
    1. Paul - Nuff said...
    2. Misty - Nuff said...
    3. Me - You know perfectly what I would say!
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Drew lifted slightly from his pillow and Dawn met his face, kissing him and allowing him to pull her onto his torso. Dawn was breathless as she fell back against the other pillow, Drew lying over her and kissing her passionately. His hand was moving along the soft material of her vest and felt a sharp intake of breath from Dawn as he reached her chest. She arched her back slightly and wrapped her arms around Drew’s neck, both of their breaths becoming faster.

    Drew moved his face down to kiss Dawn’s neck and collarbone, causing her to make a small squeaking sound. She sounded so young. So sweet. So desirable.
    Lets out fangirl giggle. Oops!
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    But she wasn’t his. If he carried on, he wouldn’t be able to stop and he knew it. Drew broke the kiss and watched as Dawn stared at him, her eyes big with confusion.

    ‘Dawn, stop,’ Drew said quietly.

    ‘Why?’ Dawn asked breathlessly, lifting her head to kiss him again.

    ‘’Cause…’

    ‘Because what?’

    ‘I don’t trust myself,’ Drew murmured.

    He gently slipped his hand from her body and moved back to his own pillow. Dawn looked upset and embarrassed, so Drew slid her over to him and held her under the quilt, to which she snuggled against him, feeling protected. She was still sad that Drew stopped, but closed her eyes anyway, willing sleep to take her.

    ‘Goodnight Dawn,’ Drew whispered, caressing her back with his hand gently.

    ‘Night…’
    Mood killer!
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    'I haven’t had time to bastard shave,’ Drew snapped, backing away from the mirror and looking disgruntled.

    Dawn got to her feet and turned Drew to face her. She lifted a hand and stroked it across his right cheek, feeling the bristles of his unshaven skin under hers. She let her hand slip from his face hastily and smiled, ‘I think you look fine. Slightly rugged is good…’
    I say he won't shave for months,
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘You better put on weight.’

    ‘What?’

    ‘If the baby is mine, I don’t want your pathetic eating habits to kill it, put on weight or you will lose it!’

    ‘Fuck you Drew! As if you give a shit about the baby!’
    Stupid bitch, what else could be worrying him atm?
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Come again?’

    ‘Don’t ask about the priories…’ she says faintly.
    Possible future plotline? Your guess is as good as mine!
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Here mate,’ Drew says, stepping towards the bouncer and smiling fairly, ‘look at her. She ain’t under twenty-one, you can tell.’

    The bouncer looks from Drew to me.

    ‘She ya missus?’ he asks slowly.

    ‘Yeah,’ Drew puts an arm around my waist quickly, pulling me close to him.

    I blush in shock, but go along with it.

    ‘Ya know I’m right, just let her in.’

    Drew’s hand slips down to my hip as he ***** his head to one side, as though daring the bouncer to say no. After a final look at my chest (which kind of freaks me out) and face, the bouncer nods and steps back to let us pass. I expect Drew to let me go, but instead he stands behind me, keeping his hands on my waist, ushering me to the side of the room, Dawn following close behind.
    That's more like it CS! CS! CS!
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Drew is leaning against the wall, smoking and watching me with an amused smile. I slink over to him and pick the cigarette from his hand and take a drag sexily, blowing the smoke up into the air. To be honest, Danika got me into smoking when I was fourteen until I was sixteen, so I can inhale. Drew raises one eyebrow as I twirl around, still holding the fag in one hand.
    In spoiler form, it's sexy, in story form, it's even more SEXY!
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘I once…’ I start, tapping his arm and grinning, ‘slept with a guy I met at a club…’

    ‘Uhuh.’

    ‘Yeah…he weren’t as good looking as you,’ I say flirtatiously, ‘so…I like you more than him.’

    ‘Come on, we’re going back inside,’ Drew says, throwing what is left of his fag on the floor and grabbing my arm.

    ‘Why…why don’t we go somewhere else…?’ I ask, giggling, ‘I don’t think Gary would mind if I had…intimacy with you.’

    Drew ignores my fantabulous idea and drags me back to the door.
    CS All the way!
    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Ooh, Drew Scathen is having trouble controlling his missus,’ one of them snickers to the other, just loud enough for Drew to hear them.

    ‘Shut-the-fuck-up!’ he snaps, standing up straight and letting me go.

    ‘Well, soz but she’s no Dawn,’ the bouncers look me up and down, ‘she looks like a Nursery teacher to me, have you shagged her yet?’

    ‘You don’t know me well enough to ask me that now shut the-’

    ‘Come on Andrew, we knew you when you were barely eighteen,’ the black bouncer says, he turns his eyes to me, ‘I’ve never known you go for the motherly type.’

    Something seems to snap in Drew, and the pale-faced bouncer’s eyes seem to grow wide rather quickly. He tears his hand from my arm and grabs the bouncer who last spoke by his jacket and smacks him against the wall.

    ‘Don’t say that to me!’ Drew growls, and it is shocking that although less-broad, he was in fact taller than the two men, ‘and you won’t look at her again,’ he gestures to me with a flick of his head, ‘unless you are holding a door open for her. Got it?’

    ‘Mommy’s boy,’ the black bouncer whispers, looking far less scared of Drew than the other.

    The bouncer pushes Drew roughly away from him and a small gasp escapes my mouth when I see that he has a knife in his hand. Drew’s hand slips into his jacket and my eyes widen at what he pulls out. What was said seems to have angered Drew too much for him to control it. The sight seems to sober my mind slightly and I rush forwards as Drew start to pull the trigger of a Desert Eagle .50.

    ‘Don’t!’ I scream, running towards him hastily.

    I hear an almighty bang heading for my direction and I freeze in terror, feeling numb. Drew’s grip has loosened in shock on the gun and he is staring at me blankly, his posture altering from his fierce stance. He pockets the smoking gun and hurries forward to catch my body as I fall, my eyes starting to close…
    What is there to say!
    Don't DIE MAY!!!!!!!

    Okay May fans, i've got a source, (AKA. Samz herself) and she said May is not dead, so please don't over stress, May leaving the fic is probably the last thing on your minds,just think on what happens to them all. And its time for the final review:

    Shock Horror: intimacy,seduction, blood and love, thrown all together and left to heat up = Chapter 5 of Gangs of London, already my biggest past time, I spend more time getting spoilers than I do watching anime lately, I have decided to take a few less spoilers now, cause I almost had the whole chapter handed to me on a plate. I can't resist! I will be very pleased to read Chapter 6 and be even happier when Chapter 7 comes... I've heard stories....
    99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999.99999 9999999/5
    Supremely Awesome! Superspazz! Chappy 6, please come sooner!
    Last edited by AdamtheNinja; 7th June 2007 at 4:40 PM.

  18. #68
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Inside America's closet.
    Posts
    2,156

    Default

    Oh my goodnessssss! DREW SHOT MAY? WHERE'S THE CONTESTSHIPPING LOVE, GIRL? DARN IT!O.O

    Mm! Love the chappie, except Drew shooting May!*gets angry and weeps then curses then shouts*

    1. Paul - Nuff said...
    2. Misty - Nuff said...
    Mhmm!...


    Grah! I want some Ikarishipping love!-_-;



    renami ++ says:
    JULIAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    renami ++ says:
    WILL YOU MARRY ME
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    UM KAY I'LL MARRY YOU
    Dynamite Shark Princess says:
    ILU
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    WAIT WTF I HAVE A LOT OF ADMIRERS

  19. #69
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    On Buttons my Laptop!
    Posts
    95

    Default

    OMFG!!!!! That was so well written! with all the violence in it i was jumping out of my seat and scearming like hell! it was so breath taking that im still out of breath from reading it. this has to be one of the best fanfictions i have read on serebii.net! with drew shotting may im sure this is to get interesting...wut will happen to may? will BS get bigger or smaller? how will dawn react to drew's shooting of may? so many questions to be anwsered! can wait for an update!^_^

    Ain't he cute?


    Name: Scarlet
    Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage

  20. #70
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Switzerland, Europe
    Posts
    1,470

    Default

    Aye, thanks for the PM, first time I actually needed it ^_^ rally don't have much time to spend here...so here goes...

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    I leave it on a huge cliffhanger ^^
    ... I think it's better this way, than that we have the unpleasant surprise of finding out

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    That was until she heard Drew call her from inside her room, and Dawn practically ripped the shower curtain off the wall in shock.

    ‘What…Drew?’ Dawn spluttered, grabbing a towel hastily and stepping out of the shower.

    ‘Oh…you decent?’ Drew asked, and Dawn was amused in seeing that he had his arm over his eyes, awaiting for her to come out.

    ‘Yes, what’s wrong?’
    bwah, I love these situations...got nothing else to say here...

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    He sure did pick his moments to pop up randomly.
    indeed...but if he didn't, we wouldn't have these random awkward situations

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Dawn tightened her bathrobe, a little nervous that she was naked underneath it, and knowing that she would freeze at this time of night outside. She shook her wet hair from her face
    barely no clothes, an wet hair...that's always sexy...
    But I just can't seem to figure out why you describe things between those two like this ! Is it just for kicks ? or is it to plan something more deep between them...

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Drew got up from the sofa and took a final gulp of whiskey. There was no point staying down there on his own, and he just needed to tell Dawn that he had business and stuff in the morning. He jogged up the stairs and over to Dawn’s bedroom door. It was slightly open, so he pushed it a little more, immediately regretting he had. Dawn had slipped her bathrobe off, and was in pyjama shorts…and nothing else. She had her back to him and was tying her hair into a ponytail. Without even meaning to, Drew directed his eyes to the full length mirror in the room, catching a long glimpse of her front.

    ‘Shit,’ Drew hissed to himself, jolting away from the door before Dawn noticed him.

    He shouldn’t of seen that. She was his cousin’s wife…

    But he had seen her. Seen what he could’ve seen the other night, had Dawn not stopped it. He couldn't help but feel for the woman living with him. The woman Paul had and he didn't...
    huh...he liked it but what's he going to do now ?? Paul...don't you take too long in the States xD we have some action going around here ^_^

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘I don’t trust myself,’ Drew murmured.
    that what ? that he couldn't stop ? couldn't live with himself ? couldn't control himself ?

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Ash, open this fucking door or I will break it down and then kick the shit out of you without explanation!’ Drew yelled.
    if you do open it, I will kick the sh*t out of you and then give you an explanation xD

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    However…Misty. He had to be careful around her.
    the Ash part was genius...totaly can picture Drew being opressive like that, and Ash laying down for him

    Huh, does Misty actually know how to deal with Drew ? She's the boss...

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘You will tell me if the baby is mine, and if you don’t…’ Drew trailed off but he knew he made his point as he stared at her in contempt.

    Misty was left to cry on her own as Drew walked out, leaving the front door open. He would know… He would know that she had slept with Ash if she told him…
    Misty part was also genius...though I feel some pity, mixed with something like "she deserved it"
    if she chose to sleep with different men...face the consequences...
    Hell have no fury like a woman scorned --> Hell have no fury like a man who's girl cheated

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    I stop as I walk over to Dawn’s full length mirror, a smile slowly forming on my lips.

    The shirt belonging to Danika had been too big, but Dawn has worked magic with it. She has cut the bottom (which I wasn’t sure about at first, but it actually works) so that it shows some of my stomach, and her strap work has meant that it doesn’t hang too low. It does however (I can’t help but notice), make my chest look…big. According to Dawn that is a very good thing, and that she would love to have breasts like mine. Lovely to have such an upfront friend.

    ‘Give us a twirl,’ Dawn says with a giggle.

    I do so and feel my cheeks flush with happiness.
    omg they sound like two 15 year olds going on their first date makes me grin all the time ^_^

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    I walk in and look over at one of the counters. Ah, there it is. I walk over and pick it up, tapping Drew’s shoulder to let him know.

    ‘How the…fuckin’ women,’ he curses
    oh yes !! this is amazing how it's true...it happened so many times to me xD

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Shit and double merde! I haven’t brought my bloody ID…
    why ? ^_^ oh, so forgeign swear words aren't censored here xD

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Dawn orders two Russian Reds, which she assures me is only thirty percent alcohol. Er…isn’t that a lot?
    naaah...you'll be fine...plus after the vodka and smirnoff, you won't feel a thing xD

    I stopped with the quotes, cause it would have been much too long, but most of this I was really laughing and grinning ^_^ well done !

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘I once…’ I start, tapping his arm and grinning, ‘slept with a guy I met at a club…’

    ‘Uhuh.’

    ‘Yeah…he weren’t as good looking as you,’ I say flirtatiously, ‘so…I like you more than him.’

    ‘Come on, we’re going back inside,’ Drew says, throwing what is left of his fag on the floor and grabbing my arm.
    oh, I want to know what he was thinking the instant he heard that ^_^ cause he must know that she's telling the truth when she's like that...so

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    The sight seems to sober my mind slightly and I rush forwards as Drew start to pull the trigger of a Desert Eagle .50.
    da*n that's heavy artillery

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    I hear an almighty bang heading for my direction and I freeze in terror, feeling numb. Drew’s grip has loosened in shock on the gun and he is staring at me blankly, his posture altering from his fierce stance. He pockets the smoking gun and hurries forward to catch my body as I fall, my eyes starting to close…
    O_o'

    ...

    didn't see that coming....at all...


    Well...now that it's done...just want to tell you that on a personnal note, it's my favourite chapter untill now. We see some new characters, and more plot development than I could ask for in one chapter...

    don't matter if it's just 5 chapters, they all rule ^_^

    untill the next chappie, see you
    Because of serebiiforums, my Life has been put on hold...

    ...wait, that sounds wrong...
    ...yeah, it's the other way around.

    My Works : A, B, C, D, E

  21. #71
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    5

    Default

    Nooooo!!!! May, don't die!!!! Drew, how dare you! You're supposed to love her! Not shoot her! X( Anyway, cool fic! Please add me to the PM List!

  22. #72
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Jhoto
    Posts
    131

    Default

    ‘Dawn!’ Drew yells, ‘where’s your ID?’

    She and I walk out of the room and start to walk down the stairs, while Dawn tuts and huffs at Drew’s inability to follow simple instructions.

    ‘On the side!’ she repeats impatiently.

    ‘There’s about twenty ****ing sides in here!’ he shouts.

    ‘May, my ID is on the side, will you go and get it?’ Dawn asks, going into the living room for some reason.

    I walk in and look over at one of the counters. Ah, there it is. I walk over and pick it up, tapping Drew’s shoulder to let him know.

    ‘How the…****in’ women,’ he curses, ‘you two ready to go?’
    This has to be the best moment in the whole chapter! It was simple, truthful, and funny! That is what being a story-teller is all about, showing the small things in life that make us laugh! Men could look five times and a woman will walk into the right room and pick it up within seconds, hehe.

    As for the rest of the chappie:
    I loved the scene where Drew looks into her room while she is changing for bed, very good. Maybe it's because she didn't know, which makes it funny. Or maybe it was his reaction to the whole thing that made me grin like a maniac!

    I got all excited with the Ash bit, but then it kind of wasn't very big, still loved what you did with the situation anyway. Scaring poor Ashy with a big mean gun! XD He was so mad with Misty too, I kind of hope that the baby isn't his.

    BELLESHIPPING AHOY! That scene in the bed, YUM, and I feel so sorry for Drew. He's falling for Paul's wife and there is nothing that he can do about it, at all! I'm so looking forward to when he comes back from America, because then things will get even more tense.

    I laughed at Gary doing shots with May, but then he left and I cursed Phoebe, just a little bit! I hope she is ok...XD

    Then the sexy dance, and her coming on to Drew. I think you handled it very well, in her mind everything she thought of was the most WONDERFUL plan to ever be invented, hehe! Drunk little fox!

    But now she's been shot. Dawn is not going to be a happy bunny, not at all! This could be an opening for more Belleshipping, where Drew tries to make it up to our blue-haired Vixen. ^.~ Also...Gary....he is gonna be mad as a hornet. (Notice all my animal refferances! )

    Great chapter, loved every word, and can't wait till the next one! Thanks so much! And hope you enjoyed your Tea with the Queen!

    Saiya
    Last edited by Saiyajin-Neko; 7th June 2007 at 1:09 PM.
    This sig thing is confuzzling.

  23. #73
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    In the Sky with Diamonds
    Posts
    205

    Default

    Oh my...poor May, first she gets drunk and then Drew shoots her. This is definitely not her day.

    And now Misty is having Ash's kid (...I think). Oh, the drama! Ash/Misty isn't my favorite pairing, but you know, whatever works ^o~.

    Anyway, great chapter! You could totally turn this fic into a book (just change the names of the characters) and send it to a publisher xD. Seriously, with a few adjustments you probably could.

    Peace!
    {New icon currently under construction C:}
    You can call me Liberty4Pokemon, Liberty, or Libby (my given name), whatever floats your boat! =)

    Proud Namer of/Supporter of OutofSpiteShipping | Ditto on ShootsDownShipping :-*
    ^Glitter/Twinleafshipping, yuri-licious oneshot | ^ShootsDown/Penguni/AppealShipping serial <33
    Claims: Shinji/Kengo; Nozomi/Kengo; Kasumi/Hikari; Sakaki/Kaorin {AzuDai} (couples)||Gwen Stefani (celebrity)
    Nozomi is my bishie =3

  24. #74
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England... being blonde
    Posts
    464

    Default

    wow...I was speechless when I saw how many people reviewed since I went to school this morning. Honestly, you readers...I cherish you all! Now onto personal responses:

    Adam ~ thankies darlin. Your review was fab to me! and....*reads* fine *stomps in typical Lee Evans fashion* I won't give you anymore spoilers...too late now isn't it! Oh I see you are using your friendship with Samantha to give everyone else spoilers -_- okay xD there was a little CS but dont worry about May getting shot, there is more of every ship to come =D

    honey_clover ~ Don't worry bout the Ikarishipping, Paul will eventually be back thanks for the review

    cutey_kat
    ~ hmm...me no tell you what happens to may wow, one of the best on serebii? thanks so much hunni

    shadow_shipper ~ So many quotes yay, chap 5 wins Mark's fave chap!! and I am glad you were shocked by the ending, I was hoping people would be. Thank you (as usual) for the lovely, complimentative review =3

    Tsugumi Winters ~ New reader! *gives biscuit* Sure you can be added to the PM list, and thanks for the review

    Saiyajin-Neko ~ what a fantabulouso comment! *huggles chu* I like to add real-life typical scenarios to make it more...personal to writer and reader. I am glad you liked the scenes you specified, now Dawn...? who knows what she will think of her new friend being shot by her husband's cousin. Now old chap I am going to do as you said, for my tea with the queen

    Liberty4Pokemon ~ oh I love it when people say that my work is good enough to be published, it just fills me with pride so thanks so much! hehe questions that are being asked will be answered next chappie...or afterwards thankies for the review

    thank you all so much

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  25. #75
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    12

    Default

    OMG!OMG!OMG! What an great chappie!!! I dunno where to begin . k 1st of all : poor drew! i can't believe he's falling for dawn! his cousin's wife!? i can't wait to see what happens when paul gets back to see that his cous is moving in on his wife! i'm picturing tension and drama for that part XD
    2nd_ i love that may and drew moment , when he calls her his mistress, soo CS!
    3d_ i can't believe may slept with some randomn guy she met at a club. hopefully that was the booze talking XD
    4th_ OMG! Drew shot May! Ahhh! I know it was an accident , but i hope he feels guilty(i know i'm evil). Can't wait to see what Dawn and Gary will think of this :P. i'm also guessing Drew must have had some mother issues to freak out like that. i guess we'll just have to wait n see.
    So , ya , in conclusion, AWESOME chapter! so many shippings and violence
    Can't wait for the next ! Can i please be on the PM list *pouts and makes puppy dog eyes*
    Mayloverxxx

Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •