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Thread: The Gangs of London (NC-17)

  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by CherishMelvil View Post
    Hi!
    I hav juz read this Fic , and i luv it , it took me a week!
    Omg is juz amazing!
    i'd luv if chuu added meh to the PM list thingeh
    :P
    I really luv this fic , even it Kengo my fav character got killed , that made it interesting in lots of ways hehe
    ^^ well
    G2G
    will keep reading it!! x3
    aww I'm sorry your fave character went to fave character heaven but twas part of the plot lol. I am very glad you like my story and I appreciate your review =]

    Samantha Jane
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  2. #122
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    Oh my gosh, am I actually updating? I do believe I am hehe.

    To recap, last time it was made clear that Paul hits Dawn (quite frequently), and May has moved into the Scathen household. That is it.

    I am vair sorry it has taken so long, but I hope this chapter will be okay...but maybe not quite worth the wait. This chapter starts of softly, but ends...not so softly. I hope it reaches the very high standards.



    Rated: R
    Warnings: Strong Language, Gun Control, Rape References

    Gangs of London

    Chapter 7




    ‘And that’s why I’ve got this tattoo, May,’ Drew said, pulling his trouser-leg up to show her a Celtic cross on his calf.

    ‘Oh…’ she nodded and supressed a giggle.

    ‘God, it took a while.’

    May couldn’t remember Drew being as funny and sociable as he was being at that present. Also, Dawn’s cooking was exquisite, which was a surprise to her for some reason.

    ‘Still confused?’ Drew asked.

    ‘No…I get it,’ May said, trying to suppress another laugh.

    Her eyes travelled to Drew’s upper arm, to a tattoo that she had never properly looked at before, but always noticed. It was big, with “Scathen” spelt in old English lettering, and below it was a big picture of a dragon, circling the name “Katie”.

    ‘What about that one?’ May asked, taking a sip of coke and gesturing to his arm.

    Drew looked down and then back at May, his expression flashed sadness and then back to its ordinary stance.

    ‘Scathen: my name obviously, the dragon is to show protection. You like it?’ Drew left out the other name and May chose not to pursue it. And only nodded.

    ‘I’ve got a tattoo,’ Dawn said proudly, turning and lifting up the back of her jumper, exposing a stylish pair of eagle wings along the bottom of her back. ‘I got it to show that you can always fly, no matter how close to the ground you think you’ll remain…’

    May smiled, feeling a sudden feeling of pure affection for both of them. Drew rose at the sound of the door knocking and Dawn rolled her eyes.

    ‘Please don’t be Misty,’ she hissed, grinning at May furtively.

    Drew came back after a few minutes and his eyes were shining with hidden happiness, which May had never seen in him before. He hid it well though and she didn’t think Dawn noticed. He sat back down and poked at the food on his place with a fork absently.

    ‘Who was it, Drew?’ Dawn asked.

    ‘Don’t matter…I’m going out,’ Drew said, his tone sharp and the happiness in his eyes replaced by chilling anxiety.

    ‘What, but-’

    ‘Bye.’

    Drew walked out before they could stop him and shut the front door loudly after him, leaving Dawn and May in a tense silence.


    ***
    May's PoV


    I creep into the kitchen surreptitiously, clutching my empty glass in search of water. Living in my flat for so long, I am not used to having to come downstairs to get a drink. I felt as though I’d be intruding to go into Dawn’s en suite, so decided better of going in there.

    ‘Okay, Fliss,’ I hear a low voice say from the hallway and I start in shock, almost dropping the glass.

    It’s Drew. I thought he would’ve come home while I was asleep. I hear him close the front door and he must be leaning near to the kitchen door, judging by the closeness of his voice.

    ‘Yes, I promise,’ Drew says quietly. ‘And Felicity, I really appreciate this. Okay…bye.’

    Fliss? Felicity? A girl... But I have never heard Drew talk to anyone in the way he was talking to her - even if the argument against it is that I haven’t known him that long. But, never… Especially not a woman.

    The kitchen door opens and Drew walks in, stopping upon realising I’m here. His eyes flash surprise, before going as cold as always. Obviously his good humour at dinner was short lived.

    ‘Alright?’ he mutters, staring hard into my eyes.

    ‘Hey,’ I say quietly. ‘Do you want a-’

    Before I can finish asking Drew if he wants a drink, he reaches into the cupboard and retrieves a small bottle of whiskey. At this time of night?

    ‘You staying down?’ he asks.

    ‘Erm…maybe. I-’

    ‘Good. Come into the living room.’

    Finishing my water, I follow him out obediently.

    ‘Thank you, again, for letting me stay here,’ I say softly, curling up on the left side of the sofa, while Drew lounges on the right.

    ‘Don’t tell me again,’ Drew replies in a bored tone, swigging the bottle. ‘I said it’s fine. You’re a sound girl.’

    I feel my cheeks tint at his words and smile at the carpet.

    Drew’s PoV

    She’s blushing. Like a little teenager, how sad. I have never met anyone like this girl in my life. I only have to tell her she’s “sound” and it’s as though I have performed an act of unexpected extraordinary kindness that she has never experienced before. Quite intriguing actually.

    ‘So, what do you have planned for tomorrow?’ May asks carefully, and I tighten my grip on the whiskey bottle.

    ‘Nothing,’ I grunt in reply.

    ‘Well, Dawn and I are going to her friends’ house…Zoe I think she was called.’

    ‘I hate Zoe.’

    ‘Oh…’

    My words seemed to have nerved May, as she drops her gaze to the carpet again. Most people I talk to react to my words this way. Especially men who fear for their lives. Women shouldn’t… At least not innocent women. Bitches like Misty should just crawl back to the slut hole they came out of!

    ‘When I say nothing, I mean that it is no one’s business but my own,’ I say, trying to redeem the relaxed atmosphere, however May looks even more intimidated than before. ‘Not just you…I mean. I don’t tell anyone where I’m going. On Sunday’s I leave London.’

    May looks up and I’m sure that their was a trace of relief behind her almond-shaped, sapphire eyes. I wonder if she heard me talking to Felicity before. If so, then I am fucked if she finds out about… Well, who would she tell? But, I better put the fear of God into her to make sure. Time to break her comfort zone again.

    ‘That phone call I was having a few minutes ago…’ I wait and May’s eyes snap up to my own. ‘Well, that was private, you understand?’

    ‘Yes,’ she says hastily, ‘I didn’t mean to hear.’

    ‘Well, you obviously did,’ I pause. ‘Felicity and…well, Felicity is the only person that matters to me…’

    I try to find the words to cover my lies about why I care about Felicity. But nothing comes. Can I trust her? Hell, no. She’s just a… She has no idea who I am.

    ‘Just, don’t mention it to anyone, okay?’ I mutter darkly and she nods nervously. ‘’Cause I don’t take kindly to it when someone breaks my trust.’

    We sit in silence for a few minutes and I am dying for a smoke, but it is freezing outside and I am starting, grudgingly, to keep to Dawn’s law of no smoking in the house. May looks torn between scampering up to her room, and just staying in silence and waiting for my lead. Maybe I should put her out of her misery.

    ‘Why did you leave…that…Telford place?’ I can’t help the distaste from showing in my tone. Any place with a name like “Telford” is pathetic. Probably some little country town with dreams of becoming a tourist attraction.

    ‘Well…it wasn’t a city,’ May mumbles. ‘It was a small town with a lot of countryside around it. But…it was getting increasingly rough in certain parts. I couldn’t bare to live around those thugs who carry guns and stuff…’

    A laugh catches in my throat and I have to push it back down. Oh, the irony.

    ‘Anyway,’ she continues, ‘I always dreamed of finding love in a big city like this and I knew that no one in Telford would ever treat me how I longed to be…’ she stops, looking embarrassed. ‘I wanted to start a new life in London.’

    ‘So, you’ve got no one back there?’ I ask, knowing that my suspicions about the little crap-hole must be right.

    ‘I have my friends,’ she says hastily; ‘my best friend, Danika, lives there with her husband and daughter. My other friend…Jay, he’s er, well, we had a bit of an argument before I left so I haven’t spoken to him. I never got on that well with my family as I got older, so that’s not much of a loss. I still talk to my brother on the phone though.’

    The image of that blonde guy in her locket flood back to me, and I realise that he was probably Jay. He looked like a dry prick.

    ‘What about you?’ she asks, and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she instantly regrets it. ‘Erm…I mean-’

    ‘I was born in Oxford,’ I start and she stops quickly, ‘and lived their until I was ten, then my Mom and I moved to Bromley. When I was eighteen, I moved to the East End, have been here ever since.’

    May stays silent and I shake my head, smiling. I can’t believe it still effects me to think about it. I try to ignore the uncomfortable feeling filling my stomach and taking a large gulp of whiskey helps.

    ‘I’ve heard Oxford is a lovely place,’ May says softly.

    ‘No, it isn’t,’ I snap, bad memories of that area appear in my mind and I grit my teeth. ‘Bromley was the best place I lived, even if we had no money…’

    I stop, knowing I’ve said too much. May looks nervous as I stand up, and toss the empty whiskey bottle into the bin. I bid her a short “night” and head upstairs, feeling ashamed of how many weaknesses I have. Thinking of Oxford and Bromley weakens me. Thinking of Felicity and…her, weakens me. I can’t let it do this to me. Too much is at stake!

    ***

    Broken rays of sunlight fell through the cream curtains and rested on Dawn’s face. Fumbling in the dim Sunday sunlight, that was seeping into the room with every small breeze that brushed the limp fabric of her curtains away from the window, she found her little watch and squinted at it through exhausted eyes: 10:14. She would never have been allowed to sleep for this long if Paul was home, but Drew obviously didn’t care.

    She looked over at the camp bed to the left of the room and saw May snoozing soundly. Deciding better of waking her, Dawn crept out of the room, noticing - bitterly - that her nose was blocked and a cold was surely approaching. Slipping her purple, silk nightgown from Jigsaw on, she padded down the stairs quietly. She very rarely wore it in front of Paul for…various reasons.

    ‘Morning,’ Dawn said hoarsely, walking into the kitchen and pinching the bridge of her nose in discomfort.

    ‘You look like hell,’ said Drew, raising one eyebrow at her.

    ‘Why thank you. I am ill you insensitive…are you going somewhere?’ she asked, her eyes detecting the sense of just-leaving about him.

    ‘Yes,’ Drew replied simply, glancing at the bouquet of roses from the kitchen table and daring her to ask. ‘Not for a bit though.’

    ‘Who…I mean, where are you going?’ Dawn said, switching the kettle on and then turning back to him.

    ‘I go out every Sunday. You are always tagging along with Paul at the club to notice.’

    ‘Oh…okay, well can I come?’

    ‘Excuse me?’

    ‘May is asleep, and I’m not feeling too good. It might be good for me to get some fresh air. Where are you heading?’

    ‘No, you can’t come. This is something - for once - I do on my own.’

    ‘Oh…’ Dawn looked so crestfallen that Drew almost felt sorry for her.

    ‘You’re going out with May, anyway,’ Drew said, wiping his tired-looking eyes, ‘to see Zoe Hoe aren’t you?’

    Goe, not Hoe,’ Dawn corrected testily. ‘And I think I need to talk to Zoe without May. I’m going to ask if she wants to go out with Cam.’

    ‘Oh, no, not her,’ Drew groaned. ‘She does my head in.’

    ‘You used to go out with her,’ Dawn said, walking across the kitchen and turning the kettle on.’

    ‘Yeah, and she’s got more money than sense.’

    ‘So have you,’ Dawn laughed. ‘How many Ralph Lauren suits do you have, Drew?’

    ‘I’m a businessmen. It’s all about presentation.’

    ‘Yeah, okay.’

    ‘Plus, has May ever even met Camilla?’ Drew pulled a face and accepted the cup of tea that Dawn passed to him.

    ‘No, but-’

    ‘You just assume that the country girl and the heiress will get on because opposites attract and you’re naďve.’

    ‘You like May and look at you.’

    ‘Different, sweetheart. I was thinking about whether May will like Briana.’

    ‘Whether I’ll like who?’ May asked, entering the room and looking from Dawn to Drew.

    ‘Prince Charles’ wife, horse-face,’ Drew said, sipping his tea and smirking.

    ‘Not that Camilla. My friend,’ Dawn shook her head at Drew. ‘My friend Camilla. She lives in Kensington and she’s really sweet.’

    ‘I think the fact that she lives in Kensington says it all,’ Drew muttered, scanning the headlines of The Sun newspaper.

    ‘Oh…well, is she coming with us to see Zoe?’ May asked in confusion.

    Dawn looked at the floor uncomfortably.

    ‘You see, May, I need to talk to Zoe about something that’s…between us. I was wondering if you wanted to go out with Camilla for a few hours while I go to Mayfair.’

    ‘I…I guess so,’ May replied, taken aback. She figured it would be rude to refuse.

    ‘Great. I will phone her now,’ Dawn said excitedly, whipping out her mobile and dialling a number with a hasty pace.

    May glanced at Drew, who’s brow was furrowed as he watched Dawn. This was the first time May had ever been set to go out for the day with someone she had never met.

    ‘Hey girl!’ Dawn said, sounding more American than she ever had before.

    Dawn! Hi, sugar,’ a voice replied as Dawn put the call on speakerphone.

    ‘Listen hon’, what plans do you have today?’

    ‘I was just going to go shopping. My car is in the garage though so I’m going to have to take the underground. How trampy is that?’

    ‘Oh, you know that girl I told you about who is staying with me? Would it be okay if she came with you?’

    ‘Oh…just her?’

    ‘Yeah.’

    ‘Why?’

    ‘I have to go and see Zoe, so she will be on her own.’

    ‘Well, then sure!’ Camilla’s voice said happily. ‘Tell her we’ll be going to Bond Street to have a spending spree!’

    ‘Okay, thanks a lot hon’. Drew will drop her off at your house.’

    Drew choked on his tea and stared incredulously at Dawn, who turned away from him to say goodbye to Camilla. When she closed the flip phone, Drew folded his arms expectantly.

    ‘So, I’m Soccer Mom now, am I?’

    ‘Nice way of putting it,’ Dawn said, in amused nervousness. ‘Please take May.’

    ‘I will because it’s not fair on May if I say no. But you’re a little cow, Dawn.’

    ‘In’t’ he lovely?’ Dawn said, looking at May and giggling.

    ***


    It was five o’ clock in the evening. Drew had finished his Every-Sunday-Trip and felt awful. Why, after all this time, did it affect him more so than it used to? Maybe because he’d become everything he’d despised as a teenager. Everything his mother had raised him against.

    Drew’s mobile buzzed loudly and he started, swearing loudly.

    ‘What?’ he snapped into his phone.

    ‘Well, that’s nice,’ chortled a soft, female voice. ‘I just figured that you’d want to know the dates that you can come over. The party is on the eleventh of December. Promise me you’ll be there, Andrew, because I can’t handle you messing me around again.’

    ‘I promise,’ Drew replied, leaning back into the car seat and pulling into his street, ‘you know that I take this seriously.’

    ‘Well, make sure you do. I’ll see you on the eleventh.’

    Inside the house, Dawn was staring blankly at an email she’d been repeatedly reading for the last hour from: dalkinboys@yahoo.com.

    Mrs Scathen,

    I was very interested to hear that your husband is away on business and you are currently alone in Number 8, Tadorna Drive. I am watching you and Drew’s car is not parked outside.
    Your husband owes me a lot of money, Mrs Scathen, and I will get it one way or another. I suggest you pray that the way I choose does not involve entering your home when Drew is away, because I may not be alone. And if I am not alone, I cannot control what my men may do to you.

    I want my money, Mrs Scathen. You will get Drew to write me a cheque on his cousin’s behalf, do you understand? And you will bring it to my warehouse, DB on Old Kent Road at midnight tomorrow. If you decide not to do that, Mrs Scathen, then me and my boys will have to pay you a little visit. They like money most, but you second, and I would never deprive them of what they like.

    Bring me the money.


    ‘Hey, what’s up with you?’ Drew asked, walking into the living room and frowning at Dawn’s expression.

    ‘Drew!’ Dawn cried, hurtling at him and throwing her arms around his neck. ‘Oh, Drew, I’ve been so scared…’

    She clutched his neck and back, trying to morph into his body for protection. Drew looked down at her in shock, holding her to him. ‘Dawn, what’s happened?’

    Silently, Dawn gestured to the laptop. Drew walked over and read it, his expression changing to rage the further he got. What fucking cowards! He thought viciously.

    ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll go and have a talk with them,’ Drew said, walking over to a cabinet, opening a secret compartment and pulling out a simple handgun. ‘Those guys are pussies, Dawn, don’t dwell on it. You wait her for May to get back while I head over to Old Kent Road.’

    ‘May’s not coming back,’ Dawn replied, wiping her eyes, ‘she’s staying at Camilla’s tonight, but coming back tomorrow morning.’

    ‘She liked her then,’ Drew muttered, before saying, ‘call Gary. Get him to come over while I sort this out. I won’t be long I promise.’

    Acting on impulse, Drew, pulled Dawn up and kissed her fleetingly on the mouth, before leaving; tucking the gun into his jeans as he went. He’d seen to some of the Dalkin boys before, and they knew what he was capable of. They were either very daring, or very stupid. Either way, their fate was inevitable now. They’d crossed the line with the threat of rape, and Drew was going to punish them for it.

    ****************


    There we have it. As always, sorry if it is a disappointment but I am struggling to find time to write fan fiction at all lately, so please take that into account.

    Love to all my readers

    ~CuteDrew667

    Samantha Jane
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  3. #123
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    I think I'm first to review, if I'm not then I'm not. If I am, then yay~!

    When I checked my inbox and saw that you updated I was...shocked! I can't believe you actually updated. I really like this fanfic, and being able to get a new chapter from you is always good

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667
    Thinking of Oxford and Bromley weakens me. Thinking of Felicity and…her, weakens me. I can’t let it do this to me. Too much is at stake!
    This is like the best contestshipping quote I've ever read.

    Okay, so even though you did give us a general recap of what is going on, I still did kind of have to go back to understand...

    The actual chapter wasn't bad it just seemed as if it were rushed and at some parts of the story, could use a bit more elaboration.

    I liked the fact that now we get to see the more contestshipping and it seems that drew is actually getting a crush on May, oo~ooh

    Well, in conclusion, it was a good chapter to read.
    ~*Uza-chan's Good bye*~

    IS SUPAH FIIIINE

  4. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uzamaki Hinata View Post
    I think I'm first to review, if I'm not then I'm not. If I am, then yay~!

    When I checked my inbox and saw that you updated I was...shocked! I can't believe you actually updated. I really like this fanfic, and being able to get a new chapter from you is always good



    This is like the best contestshipping quote I've ever read.

    Okay, so even though you did give us a general recap of what is going on, I still did kind of have to go back to understand...

    The actual chapter wasn't bad it just seemed as if it were rushed and at some parts of the story, could use a bit more elaboration.

    I liked the fact that now we get to see the more contestshipping and it seems that drew is actually getting a crush on May, oo~ooh

    Well, in conclusion, it was a good chapter to read.
    yay! Am so happy to get a review from you hun and...trust me, no one knew it was rushed better than I! But...it was either going to be rushed, or be posted four months from now. I am so stressed all of the time with the workload I am having to cope with (am even on mild happy pills to help me get through it), so taking time out to write Pokemon fan fics is a bit of a struggle for me xD

    but even so, your review made me smile and I am sorry if the quality deteriorates, but it is so hard for me to carry on with an internet-life, not that my real life is so bloody hectic -_-.

    thankies for your review sweetie! xxxx

    Samantha Jane
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  5. #125
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    Oh my God, I'm so sorry I couldn't R&R earlier, but I simply couldn't take half an hour earlier to review properly, and God knows you deserve quality reviews, so here we go !

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Alright?’ he mutters, staring hard into my eyes.

    ‘Hey,’ I say quietly. ‘Do you want a-’

    Before I can finish asking Drew if he wants a drink, he reaches into the cupboard and retrieves a small bottle of whiskey. At this time of night?

    ‘You staying down?’ he asks.

    ‘Erm…maybe. I-’

    ‘Good. Come into the living room.’

    Finishing my water, I follow him out obediently.
    Heh, he's so happy he's in his own world

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    My words seemed to have nerved May, as she drops her gaze to the carpet again. Most people I talk to react to my words this way. Especially men who fear for their lives. Women shouldn’t… At least not innocent women. Bitches like Misty should just crawl back to the slut hole they came out of!
    For some reason...I feel like this style of writing is truly yours, meaning that you put in some sort of cynical attitude, mixed with some carelessness all at the same time. Even when you don't use this in half a page-long descriptions, but in two lines like this, it's brilliant. Frightenning for the story, but still interessting and brilliant

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Not just you…I mean. I don’t tell anyone where I’m going. On Sunday’s I leave London.’
    Sundays

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    We sit in silence for a few minutes and I am dying for a smoke, but it is freezing outside and I am starting, grudgingly, to keep to Dawn’s law of no smoking in the house.
    Starting to feel more kind to others ? or just Dawn ?

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Well…it wasn’t a city,’ May mumbles. ‘It was a small town with a lot of countryside around it. But…it was getting increasingly rough in certain parts. I couldn’t bare to live around those thugs who carry guns and stuff…’

    A laugh catches in my throat and I have to push it back down. Oh, the irony.
    The sweet irony indeed
    Moments like these make me definately want to keep on reading, makes the reader more comfortable if you manage to make him smile at some times

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    I bid her a short “night” and head upstairs, feeling ashamed of how many weaknesses I have. Thinking of Oxford and Bromley weakens me. Thinking of Felicity and…her, weakens me. I can’t let it do this to me. Too much is at stake!
    Weakness is humane Drew, embrace it, fight against it if you will, you'll lose, and she'll be there for you then...

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Broken rays of sunlight fell through the cream curtains and rested on Dawn’s face. Fumbling in the dim Sunday sunlight, that was seeping into the room with every small breeze that brushed the limp fabric of her curtains away from the window, she found her little watch and squinted at it through exhausted eyes: 10:14. She would never have been allowed to sleep for this long if Paul was home, but Drew obviously didn’t care.
    Magical description, especially the first phrase !
    See ? Even when you don't feel like writing much, you write quality stuff !

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘You used to go out with her,’ Dawn said, walking across the kitchen and turning the kettle on.’

    ‘Yeah, and she’s got more money than sense.’

    ‘So have you,’ Dawn laughed. ‘How many Ralph Lauren suits do you have, Drew?’

    ‘I’m a businessmen. It’s all about presentation.’

    ‘Yeah, okay.’
    xD LOL
    The man's right yanno

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    ‘Okay, thanks a lot hon’. Drew will drop her off at your house.’

    Drew choked on his tea and stared incredulously at Dawn, who turned away from him to say goodbye to Camilla. When she closed the flip phone, Drew folded his arms expectantly.

    ‘So, I’m Soccer Mom now, am I?’

    ‘Nice way of putting it,’ Dawn said, in amused nervousness. ‘Please take May.’

    ‘I will because it’s not fair on May if I say no. But you’re a little cow, Dawn.’

    ‘In’t’ he lovely?’ Dawn said, looking at May and giggling.
    Bwahahahaha !
    Score one for Dawn for making them spend some more time together
    And I'm really getting the feeling that, because of Dawn's affection for her, Drew will very soon start feeling comfortable with her...then we go from there lol

    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    Acting on impulse, Drew, pulled Dawn up and kissed her fleetingly on the mouth, before leaving; tucking the gun into his jeans as he went. He’d seen to some of the Dalkin boys before, and they knew what he was capable of. They were either very daring, or very stupid. Either way, their fate was inevitable now. They’d crossed the line with the threat of rape, and Drew was going to punish them for it.
    Impulse = instinct = not thinking = protecting the ones you love...
    Drew, go kick their asses !


    Not it all, not a dissapointment, I actually enjoyed this one because we're building hype for something big that's going to happen !

    But on a side note, I hope I'll get to talk to you soon on msn dear...you know I don't like it when you're stressed beyond belief :/ I'll be on later tonight...

    Until then, your writing has not lost a hint of it's class, and I hope you'll get rewarded with an oscar or two
    Take care dear !

    Mark
    Because of serebiiforums, my Life has been put on hold...

    ...wait, that sounds wrong...
    ...yeah, it's the other way around.

    My Works : A, B, C, D, E

  6. #126
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    I just have to say something. I hadn't read this because I didn't think that it was going to be very good, I've had experience with fan fictions on forums not being so good, so I haven't read any on here. But you have FLOORED me. It is amazing so far. I read it all in a day... I couldn't stop! I can't wait for you to get more up!

    I just wanna see things work out and it be Dawn/Drew... and May could get with Gary. Which, by the way, when I watched your trailer I squealed everywhere when I saw Gary. I was excited, LAWLZ.
    But add me to the PM list and I can't wait for you to get more up!

    Oh and take this all as a compliment, I don't read much fanfiction unless it is Amazing. I'm a hard judge. =]

  7. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuteDrew667 View Post
    yay! Am so happy to get a review from you hun and...trust me, no one knew it was rushed better than I! But...it was either going to be rushed, or be posted four months from now. I am so stressed all of the time with the workload I am having to cope with (am even on mild happy pills to help me get through it), so taking time out to write Pokemon fan fics is a bit of a struggle for me xD

    but even so, your review made me smile and I am sorry if the quality deteriorates, but it is so hard for me to carry on with an internet-life, not that my real life is so bloody hectic -_-.

    thankies for your review sweetie! xxxx
    You're very welcome~! Okay, when I said it wasn't as good as the others, I meant that the others were like 100%, and this was 95%! Still an interesting read Which reminds me now, when you left off, the part at the end of the fanfic, I was just like "OMG!" I can't wait until you update!
    ~*Uza-chan's Good bye*~

    IS SUPAH FIIIINE

  8. #128
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    Hi Sammy!.. still remember me? friend if mia ring a bell? anyways i really like the story and i can't wait for the next chapter.

    Oh and can you please and me to the PM list (whatever that is hehe..)

  9. #129
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    England... being blonde
    Posts
    464

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    Quote Originally Posted by shadow_shipper View Post

    Not it all, not a dissapointment, I actually enjoyed this one because we're building hype for something big that's going to happen !

    But on a side note, I hope I'll get to talk to you soon on msn dear...you know I don't like it when you're stressed beyond belief :/ I'll be on later tonight...

    Until then, your writing has not lost a hint of it's class, and I hope you'll get rewarded with an oscar or two
    Take care dear !

    Mark
    Sweetie, I don't have time to comment on every part of your review but know this: every part of it made me smile. I am on Easter break now so hopefully i will have a teeny bit more time than i usually do to fan-fic-write, but me does have a credit card and a social life...and I plan on getting the most out of it with this break. I am not off the hook though, the teachers have been kind enough to send us a gazillion projects and essays for us to do over these two weeks.

    I am currently working on a huge Gangs of London video. but since I have zilch, nata and no pokemon clips left on my computer; I am making it with clips from the American Drama One Tree Hill. It is working out pretty well and I think it will give readers a sense of some of the relationship traingles and scenarios that will happen in the future ^^. spoiler video tis

    Quote Originally Posted by YunaDances View Post
    I just have to say something. I hadn't read this because I didn't think that it was going to be very good, I've had experience with fan fictions on forums not being so good, so I haven't read any on here. But you have FLOORED me. It is amazing so far. I read it all in a day... I couldn't stop! I can't wait for you to get more up!

    I just wanna see things work out and it be Dawn/Drew... and May could get with Gary. Which, by the way, when I watched your trailer I squealed everywhere when I saw Gary. I was excited, LAWLZ.
    But add me to the PM list and I can't wait for you to get more up!

    Oh and take this all as a compliment, I don't read much fanfiction unless it is Amazing. I'm a hard judge. =]
    wow, since you have explained how hard you are to please, then I am extremely flattered that you have enjoyed Gangs of London so much. I am trying to make the story flow okay but I don't have a lot of time to write it anymore, so your review has boosted my confidence! I will add you to the PM list hun


    Quote Originally Posted by ~**nicole**~ View Post
    Hi Sammy!.. still remember me? friend if mia ring a bell? anyways i really like the story and i can't wait for the next chapter.

    Oh and can you please and me to the PM list (whatever that is hehe..)
    Yes I remember you i'm very different now to the girl you used to know, but that doesn't matter. I will add you to the PM list hun

    Samantha Jane
    Facebook




  10. #130
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    10

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    Hey Sam, I just started reading another of your fics AND ITS AS GREAT AS EVER!! Sorry about that.... Anyway like i said it's great I love the story although it is completely different from Hot Chocolate. And don't take this the wrong way, the only reason I can really understand how they talk sometimes in this story is because I have a Best friend at my school from England. Even so Id probably still read if i didn't understand. Wow this is incredibly long for my 'review', so can you add me to the PM list please. Greatly apprieciated. Is that spelling right I don't know anywayz cant wait for the next chapter!
    ~Lexie-t~

  11. #131
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Mexico
    Posts
    23

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    I just love this chapter! That email sure was threatening xD

    I just came to SerebiiForums for first time like in months , and the only thing i really looked for was this.. <3 Amazing! I just LOVE the whole fan fic x3

  12. #132
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    my own little world
    Posts
    552

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    Hey. Boredom took over me so I went to the ship forum. I love this fic of yours. It has most of my favorite ships. [ DawnxPaul + MayxDrew/Gary ] ^^;

    It's absolutely amazing. I love the way you write. With different PoV's and such. I love how you made May into something innocent, very unlike of what I think of her. Heh, I love Drew's bad boy act. <3 And I love Gary's cute, stupid like ways. <3 <3 If Paul wasn't that abusive to Dawn, I'd give him a <3 too, but no. ): Dawn and May were just perfect. <3 Do you despise Misty? You made her a slut [ sorry for the swear ] and a bitch [sorry again. ): ]. D: She's a fave of mine you know. But she seems so innocent too. Plus, I love how you made Ash's attitude. cute yet stupid. In a lower value than Gary of course. <3 I seriously love your fic.

    PM list please? :3 Thanks. Your fic is awesome love [LIKE MARK COHEN FROM RENT], keep up the good work.

    she's just keeps runnin' back to you !
    she just really can't get enough of you; missing you everyday

  13. #133
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1

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    I don't know if you'll ever continue this as I understand you have a life like we all do XD But I would just like to say, for what you did write, I loved it <3 the whole story is amazingly written in my opinion and very prose/emotive-descriptive, It is a darker toned story from most pokemon stories I've read but I love that, because you executed it perfectly >w< I cannot really count how many times I've re-read this story over the years XD (I read it the first time in 2009 and I've come back and re-read many times up 'till date - which is near the end of 2012)
    Many of the pairings I hadn't thought to much about before but as I read this story I started to like a few of the ones you hinted so that was pretty kewl XD
    I'm not sure what much to say just that this story is AWESOME and I loved it <3 and although you might never see this comment or may never continue the story, I just wanted to comment to say thank you regardless, for such an awesome story.
    (finally made an account to post a comment wooh! \o/)

  14. #134
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Konoha
    Posts
    95

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    Yay for Shropshire yay for Telford yay for may!!!! Drew insulted Telford so he is gonna pay. Epic fan fiction. May's like me. From Telford !!!!!!
    † I am a Christian and proud of it! Copy and paste if you are too †



    credit to me for everything! clikee the buttons for me pweese!
    want a BOSS FUN and BRAND NEW forum to join? click here~~~~~~>>>http://pokemonparadise.freeforums.net


  15. #135
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    7

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    This story was/is amazing. I'm not a bit fan of May, but she has grown on me. I stayed up til 2:45am to read all the chapters! Love it! You wrote an amazing story
    [IMG][/IMG]

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