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Thread: Don't Worry - PikachuXPiplup/AshXDawn (One Shot)

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    Arrow Don't Worry - PikachuXPiplup/AshXDawn (One Shot)

    Ok, well, this is my first story I have ever posted here, so HI! (I'm kind of a new writer.) So I thought before I got myself into a long chaptered story, I would write a few One Shot's and this is my first! Like I said this contains PikachuXPiplup (What's the ship called?), with a slight add of Pearlshipping (AshXDawn).

    Rated PG - There's nothing bad, just a few themes that little kiddys wouldn't understand

    I got the basis of the idea from Darkliger at the fic request shop. I prefer fics that are like PG-13 +, but I'll rate this fic PG since their isnt anything that would make it higher. SO, let's get on with the story! (Note it's got one of those narrarated openings, I like using them for some reason :P )

    Don’t Worry

    Pokémon, this world is filled with them. Swimming lazily through the waters, running happily throughout the land and gliding swiftly in the sky.

    In this world, humans and Pokémon work together; Battling and training. However, among the many Pokémon professions is a sole career. A career that takes hours of hard work and dedication. A career that focuses on the presentation and the combination of attacks. These mentioning’s can only belong to the career of a Pokémon Coordinator.

    ***


    The scene was an incredible one; hundreds of people were cheering in their stadium lined seats. All of their clapping and amazement came from the stage below. A boy and a tall reindeer, Stanler, bowed proudly to the crowd.

    Off to the back of the stage were three judges; A nurse, a bald man and a man wearing a bright red suit.

    “That was a marvelous performance,” the nurse smiled. “Never before have I seen this kind of bond between trainer and Pokémon.”

    “Remarkable!” The bald man chirped.

    “I think the members of the Pokémon fan club would agree,” the man with the bright red suit spoke. “This was an absolute brilliant show! Great work!”

    The boy took a few more bows and walked proudly off the stage, Stanler in tow. As soon as the boy walked into the back, a tall and young woman walked toward the center of the stage.

    Her outfit looked like it came straight from the nineteen-sixties. A pink headband laid in her puffy brown hair. She had on legwarmers, sandals, a shirt, a neck brace and a mini-skirt, all colored a dull pink. The only thing that wasn’t pink was her sleeveless yellow lab coat. Anyone else would look stupid, but she pulled the look off very nicely.

    “Ok!” She spoke into her headset (she was obviously the MC). “Looks like Billy and his Stanler will have a high chance of getting into the finals!”

    As the MC rambled on, two boys, one older than the other, talked amongst themselves in the stadium lined seats.

    “Momoan is so hot!” The older boy stated, referring to the MC. This boy looked as if his eyes were shut and bore a more darker skin tone than most of the people in the crowd. His hair was brown and spiked up.

    “She’s up next.” The younger boy explained. “I hope she knows what she’s doing.” This younger boy wore a black and red hat. He had z-like marks under his eyes and his hair was colored raven.

    “This is her second official contest, Ash,” The older boy replied. “She’ll do just fine.”

    Ash frowned, “I sure hope so, Brock. She looked really worried when we left her in the waiting room.”

    Upon Ash’s shoulder lied a yellow mouse, Pikachu. “Pika,” he followed his trainer’s actions and frowned worriedly.

    Back on stage, Momoan was ready to introduce the next coordinator. “And now, presenting our next trainer!” She stuck her left arm out to the side, “it’s Dawn! From Twinleaf town!”

    The lights dimmed and the spotlight centered on to a young girl, Dawn. She had long and beautiful sapphire hair, held up in a tiny red ribbon just above each ear. Her elegant pink and white dress sparkled in the spotlight, as she gracefully presented herself.

    “She’s beautiful.” Ash smiled as the young coordinator made her way into the center of the stage. Both Brock and Pikachu looked toward Ash with a face of confusion.

    Dawn bowed a few times and brought a red and white ball gradually up to her chest. “Alright, Piplup,” she threw the ball up into the air, “come on out!” The ball burst open, releasing an array of fake bubbles and a small blue penguin.

    “Piplup!” The penguin Pokémon chirped.

    “Piplup! Use Bubblebeam!” Dawn commanded.

    The penguin quickly responded and started to spin around in the air. “Pip lup lup lup,” she opened her small yellow beak and released a vast amount of bubbles.

    Dawn’s contest strategy involved Piplup’s bubbles to collide with the fake ones from the ball, creating a beautiful scene. Then, the penguin was supposed to wrap itself in a whirlpool and land gracefully on the ground. However, Dawn’s strategy didn’t worked as well as she had hoped.

    Piplup started to spin out of control, still releasing a surplus of bubbles. The bubbles were going everywhere, soaking many.

    A huge bubble made its way toward the judges. POP!

    An amused Momoan focused her attention on the now drenched judges. “Hahahaha,” she chuckled. “I don’t think the judges were prepared for the rain!” The judges glared evilly at the laughing MC, causing her to stop laughing.

    “Oh man, she’s losing it.” Brock stated the obvious.

    “Yeah,” Ash stood up from his seat, accidentally knocking Pikachu off his shoulder. “YOU CAN DO IT, DAWN!” He cheered.

    In her dizziness, Piplup started to fall from the sky. A frantic Dawn couldn’t help but stand their frightened from all of the embarrassment. It wasn’t bad enough that she wouldn’t be making it to the finals, but this contest was being broadcasted live on TV. What if her friends and family saw her? What if her rival, Nozomi, saw her? Would they laugh? Would they give her a cold shoulder?

    These thoughts ran through the young coordinator’s head until… BONK! Piplup had fallen from the sky and hit her painfully in the head.

    “DAWN!” Ash screamed as his friend fell to the hardwood floor. He darted off his seat and ran toward the stage, Pikachu running after.

    “Wait! Ash!” Brock followed.

    The MC ran over to Dawn, as well as the nurse who was judging. Ash ran onto the stage and knelt beside his friend, grabbing her hand. Brock stood next to Ash and watched sadly. Would she be ok? Was she unconscious?

    Pikachu darted towards Piplup and licked her face. “Pika pi!” The yellow mouse cried. Piplup slowly recovered from her daze and with the help of her friend, she stood up on her two yellow feet.

    “Pip?” She was confused of what had just happened.

    “Pika pika!” Pikachu started to imitate what Piplup had done and span around. “Pika pi!” He pulled his pointy ears down and inhaled his chest to represent Dawn. “Chaaaa!” Pikachu then smacked his own head and fell to the floor. Explaining that Piplup had knocked out Dawn.

    The penguin sadly looked over to where her trainer lied. She was embarrassed and most of all She felt ashamed that she had let Dawn down.

    With the help of Nurse Joy, the young coordinator regained consciousness and sat up slowly. She looked onward toward the crowd and bowed her head down in shame. She was so embarrassed that tears started to form in her eyes.

    Upon seeing her tears, Ash signaled for Brock to help her off of the stage. “Come on,” He spoke softly. “Let’s get you out of here.”

    Dawn looked toward her first Pokémon. “Piplup,” she cried.

    The little penguin couldn’t take all of the embarrassment and knowing that she had hurt Dawn, her trainer, she ran off the stage and out of sight.

    “Pika!” Pikachu ran after his friend.

    “Piplup! Pikachu!” Dawn and Ash cried, but there was nothing they could do.

    ***


    Outside, a discouraged Piplup roamed through the sidewalks of the city. She swerved out of peoples way, hoping not to get squished by their feet. Pikachu was right behind and finally caught up.

    “Pika!” He placed his small hand on Piplup’s shoulder.

    “Piplup!” She gave him the cold shoulder.

    “Pika pi Pikachu!” He explained that mistakes are ok to make and they should go back to their respective trainers before they got to worried.

    “Piplup,” she faced Pikachu and frowned. “Pip Piplup pip!” She didn’t want to go back, she was to ashamed. She hurt her trainer, how could she go back?

    The yellow mouse frowned and looked upon a small restaurant across the street. “Pika!” He sparked an idea.

    “Pip?” She followed.

    ***


    “Where do you think they could have gone?” Dawn asked sadly.

    Brock rubbed his chin and stared out the window. “I’m guessing Piplup was to ashamed to face you and ran away.”

    “It‘s all my fault,” Dawn slumped into her seat. “If I just practiced the routine a bi-”

    Ash cut her off, “you can’t blame yourself.” He took a seat next to her and grabbed her hand. “Everyone makes mistakes.”

    “How can you be so calm when Pikachu is missing?” Dawn asked curiously .

    “Because,” he rubbed her hand. “He only ran away to find Piplup. Pikachu will bring her back, I promise.”

    Dawn looked into Ash’s auburn eyes and something suddenly jumped happily inside her. What was this feeling? Did she like Ash?

    ***


    “Pika!” Pikachu looked back to make sure Piplup was still following him and ran to the door of the restaurant.

    Piplup now caught up with her friend, “Pip?”

    “Pika pi!” He pointed toward the door, he wanted to get inside. But why?

    A woman suddenly pulled the door open to get in and the two Pokémon made their way into the restaurant. It was an old fashioned diner. Booth seats were lined up everywhere and there was a small bar with a few stools. The place was moderately filled and no one seemed to notice the two critters who just walked in.

    “Pika!” Pikachu started running toward an empty booth and jumped up on to the clean table. He reached for a red bottle, filled with his favorite treat, ketchup. A confused Piplup watched from the floor.

    Pikachu made his way down to his friend and handed her the bottle. “Pika,” he smiled happily. Whenever he was feeling down, he explained, this strange food made him cheer up. Maybe it was because Pikachu had an unnatural obsession with ketchup?

    “Pip,” Piplup smiled happily. Never before has someone shown her something that is important to them. She put the bottle up to her beak and tilted her head back. She gave the bottle a little squeeze and the ketchup poured down her throat. YUK! Piplup hated the taste of it. She swallowed it reluctantly, not wanting to hurt her friends feelings.

    “Piplup pip!” She said it made her feel a lot better, she lied. It wasn’t the horrible tasting ketchup that made her better, but it was Pikachu. Piplup, for some reason, had a new found respect for her friend.

    “Pika!” He smiled and offered to take the bottle from her. She handed it to him without hesitation and watched her friend guzzle it all down. Pikachu started rolling on the floor as he tasted the substance. “Chaaaaa!” He chirped happily.

    ***


    “It’s getting late, do you see them yet?” Ash looked to where Brock was standing.

    “I don’t see them,” Brock replied. “I hope they are ok.”

    “Yeah, me to,” Ash looked down at the girl who had fallen asleep in his arms.

    The contest had been over for a few hour now. After Dawn changed into her normal clothing, the three moved from out of the nurses office to the outside of the contest hall. Brock stood by the road, keeping a lookout for any sign of Pikachu and Piplup. Ash, now sitting under a big oak tree, wanted to go look for them, but Dawn wasn’t feeling well and winded up dozing off in Ash’s arms. She needed the rest after the long day she had.

    “Pikachu,” the trainer whispered to himself. “Please be ok, buddy.”

    A few more minutes of pure silence passed. Nothing but the breeze on the leaves could be heard. The silence was soon broken, however.

    “Ash! I think I see them!” Brock shouted.

    “PIKA!” A voice echoed from the distance.

    Ash stood up, waking a confused Dawn. “Huh,” she rubbed her eyes.

    “Pikachu!” The boy screamed happily when he saw his buddy running swiftly toward him.

    “Chaaaa!” He ran into Ash’s arms and was greeted with a warm and loving hug.

    Brock walked over to his reunited friends and patted Pikachu on the head, “Good to have you back.”

    Dawn stood up from her spot under the big oak tree. “Wait! Where’s Piplup?”

    “PIPLUP!” Another voice echoed from the distance. The four looked toward the road to see Piplup running toward them.

    “Piplup! you’re ok!” Dawn started running toward the eager penguin. She knelt down and was happily hugged by her first ever Pokémon. “Oh, Piplup! Don’t ever run away from me again! I miss you to much!”

    “Piplup pip!” She chirped happily.

    The coordinator placed her Pokémon in front of her. “I don’t want you to feel bad about what happened, I shouldn’t have made you do the contest if you weren’t ready.”

    “Pip!” She smiled happily and looked toward Pikachu, who smiled happily back at her.

    Dawn then looked at Ash and gave him a thank-you-for-everything look. He smiled and somehow gave her a you’re-worth-it look.

    END
    Last edited by Tbone2356; 28th May 2007 at 7:53 PM.
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    I'm surprised nobody's bothered to comment on this yet. Anyway, I think you did a good job on this story, especially considering that this was is your first attempt at writing.

    There were no grammer mistakes (at least that I could pick up), it had a nice introduction, a good plot, and a nicely done ending. I think the only thing it needs now is... a sequel.

    Excellent work, Tbone.
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    Well, I do have some criticism to make, but don't worry much; your story isn't that bad. It could have been shippier, but ah well...

    My main problem is the lack of AshxDawn. The story would have worked just as well as a PikachuxPiplup story, and the AshxDawn felt... tacked on, like an afterthought, you know?

    The Contest situation is something I don't really see happening (unless you meant for it to be right at the beginning of the series, but then again, you didn't tell us that), and apparently, Momoan's English name is Marion. Just denoting that.

    But then... it was nice. Could have been better, but was nice as fluff. I hope you write some better ones.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Seijiro Mafuné View Post
    Well, I do have some criticism to make, but don't worry much; your story isn't that bad. It could have been shippier, but ah well...

    My main problem is the lack of AshxDawn. The story would have worked just as well as a PikachuxPiplup story, and the AshxDawn felt... tacked on, like an afterthought, you know?

    The Contest situation is something I don't really see happening (unless you meant for it to be right at the beginning of the series, but then again, you didn't tell us that), and apparently, Momoan's English name is Marion. Just denoting that.

    But then... it was nice. Could have been better, but was nice as fluff. I hope you write some better ones.
    I see what you mean

    I've never actually attempted to create a PokemonXPokemon fic. Maybe I should've just left out the Pearlshipping completley? Well no one did seem to like this, SO I'll just try harder next time!

    Thanks for the 2 comments, as long as I got 1, I'm happy.
    That awkward moment when three years after inactivity you feel the need to come back to the fandom.

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    Oh, forgot to point out... you used 'Stanler' instead of 'Stantler'. Just try to guaranteeing the Pokémon's names, before using them.

    Anyway... it's not just a matter of adding/leaving something. Quite frankly, I wanted to have seen Pearlshipping. The problem was that you didn't just barely touch it, you didn't give it enough development, so we got that odd 'thank you/you're worth it' look thing.

    Had you done something like having the two of them search together, Dawn actively losing hope but Ash convincing her that things would be okay, because of what she always said, and then, by the end, Dawn does something to thank him for his help (such as just hugging him, at the very least), it'd be much better.

    A one-shot may have a five-minute concept, but you can't write a good five-minute story. You need to make sure it is good. The fact that you didn't have many grammar mistakes is a good thing; for a first attempt, your main problems were mainly pacing and, well, the fact that the Pearlshipping concept was pretty much tacked-on instead of worked upon.

    Though I do wonder... what other ships do you like?

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    Now I get what you're saying.

    The reason I didn't have Ash and Dawn look for them or include alot of shippyness is because I didn't want it to be too long. This fic was already 7 pages and I didn't think anyone would've wanted a 13 page long story.

    I understand what you're saying, however. I'll remember this when I start writing my next Oneshot.

    And what other ships I like? I like alot of them SO I'll just list the first few on the top of my head.

    AshXMisty/May/Dawn
    MistyXGary/Tracey
    MayXDrew
    YoshiXMarina

    I suppourt almost all ships.
    That awkward moment when three years after inactivity you feel the need to come back to the fandom.

  7. #7
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    Talking

    *widens eyes* I take an internet break from studying and what do I see? Tbone has put up his new fic!

    *puts hands on hips* Itell you and I tell you to put up a fic, and what do you do? You dont. And the one time I've given up, you do! You're a funny guy Tbone!

    And neat one-shot!

    Hm, I'll try my best to write a review that deserves this fic.

    Well, lets start off with an "awwwww!" I so had the feeling that your fanfics would be the ones that make you smile and broght up and stuff, I know that sounds corny, but I like your fic alot!

    I liked it how Dawn is still a poorly trained coordinator where as May got the hang of it in no time(I still love her though) and adding a little pokemon action, ooh-la-la. *begins to sing a familiar tune* Pikachu and piplup, sitting in a tree, k-I-s-s....

    In this fic, I SO expected Ash and Dawn kiss, but I guess that would be a little too quick. My favorite part of the fic was when Ash ran up to save her, and Pikachu the same with Piplup, ahhh, lovely ships, lovely, lovelyyyyy.

    *jumps back into studying*

    That'll be it for me, I still have a lot of finals to go!
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    Aw, this was sweet. First, PikachuxPiplup stories I have read, and I liked how you incorporated AshxDawn in. I am not much of a shipper of either of those, but I really like this story. Oh and the ending was super cute!
    =]
    By the way, the picture at the top, did you do that yourself? It's wonderful.
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