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Thread: Right Beside you (AdvanceShipping, Contestshipping, and a whole lot of other ships)

  1. #1
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    Default Right Beside you (AdvanceShipping, Contestshipping, and a whole lot of other ships)

    Right Beside you:
    Rated: about maybe PG or G

    Chapter 1

    It was a dark winter night. The air was crisp and cold. The roads were slippery, and the ground was covered in a white blanket. But 16 year old Ash Ketchum, who lived in Pallet Town, didn’t care. This boy, who had raven colored hair, was driving to see his girlfriend. He was going about a moderate speed, but still, too fast for icey roads.

    “May is gonna kill me if I get there late…” Ash mumbled to himself. May was his 14 year old girlfriend. He didn’t find it weird that his girlfriend was 2 years younger than him. He had his hands gripped on the places where he learned to grab in Drivers Ed. Trees… Those were always what had passed, dressed in a white blanket. Ash sighed. It seemed like the highway went on forever. Almost like Time was frozen. But it really didn’t matter. Christmas Day was a week away. And he’d give May the biggest surprise of her life. At least he thought the biggest surprise of her life. He pushed down the gas pedal more, unaware of the danger he’d be in.

    “Come on…” Ash mumbled at the almost endless highway, seeming to stretch on almost forever through the forest, leading to Pallet Town. But, to Ash’s dismay, he then pushed down the breaks, because he noticed that the traffic picked up, almost being bumper to bumper, from a distant red light. Ash strummed his fingers on the dash board, near the window shield. He checked the glowing green clock in his car. Ten o’ Clock. He was a few minutes from being late. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out his cell phone. His cell phone was in the shape of a pokeball, and when you pushed the button in the middle, the phone opened up, to his Pikachu wallpaper, which, Ash chose for his best buddy. He dialed the number for his girlfriends cell phone, and held it up to his ear, as the phone started to ring. He waited for a minute, and then he heard something he didn’t want to hear.

    “Please hang up, and try to call again, if you need help, dial an operator” The voice said, as the phone stoped ringing, and stopped the call itself. Ash sighed, and repressed the button, closing the phone. He pulled it back into his pocket, and started back to the road. The traffic just started going up, so Ash pulled upwards, and then noticed a different street that went around the highway, that’d bring him to the smaller roads of Pallet Town. He turned his wheel to the right, and turned onto the road. He noticed that the road was still slippery. He pressed the button for the 4x4 compatibility, and then remembered that had been broken for a month and a half. Then, his heart pounded hard, as he turned the corner, and his wheels slipped on the road. He spun his wheel, trying to re-align it with the road, but he slid into the trees on the side of the road, causing his to fall into the window, and scrape the middle of his nose, and his cheeks. The last thing he saw was the bark on the tree near his forehead, before he blacked out, and fell into a deep coma.

    XxXxXxXxXx
    The 14-year old brunnete, May, who had an emerald headband, and sapphire eyes silently paced in the room.

    "Where is he?" May asked her friend Drew, who was sitting on the couch, eating popcorn, while watching the Electabuzz Baseball finals. His lush green hair was about it's normal style, while his leaf green eyes were focused on the TV, completely ignoring her. May looked over to him, with an annoyed look on her face.

    "Oh, I'm sure that he's coming dear, he's not the one to miss the Christmas feast" a voice said, the owner of the voice being Ash's mother. May turned to her.

    "But, it's already 11 a' clock! He's obviously standing me up..." May started, a little bit annoyed, this time, at her boyfriend. Suddenly, the game Drew was watching with Ash's old rival, Gary, changed to the news.

    "We interrupt this show for a New's bulletin. A car, containing Pokemon Master Ash Ketchum, resident of Pallet Town, slipped off a road, into a bunch of tall trees. He did not survive" Then, the TV flipped back to the game. But May, Drew, Delia, Gary, and Oak, who was just walking in with Pikachu beside him, didn't notice. May's sapphire eyes filled with tears, and she muttered out a few words.

    "A-Ash, i-is d-dead?!" May began, before collapsing down on the Ketchum resident's floor, crying heavily.

    END OF CHAPTER 1!

    And, Chapter 1 may be short, but the next chapter, will be longer!
    Last edited by Ho-ohRocks201; 8th September 2008 at 9:02 AM.
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  2. #2
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    Cool. I like this story. Your description is pretty good but I think that you could make the sentence a bit longer.

    His lush green hair was about it's normal style, while his leaf green eyes were focused on the TV, completely ignoring her. May looked over to him, with an annoyed look on her face.
    I like this part as it's something Drew would do

    But May, Gary, Deliah, Gary, and Oak, who was just walking in with Pikachu beside him, didn't notice. May's sapphire eyes filled with tears, and she muttered out a few words.
    Confuse at this part. May didn't notice and she cried? And, double Gary? You spelled Ash's mother's name wrongly. It should be Delia.

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    They didn't notice when the game came back.

    and, o_o" I added Gary twice?

    oops, I meant Drew on one of them.

    Chapter 2 will be more intresting.
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    ohhh, THIS FANFIC! lol, I read this one when it was posted but never got around to reviewing! Thanks for reminding me though, I probably would have forgotten for sure.

    Anyway, I really like your writing in this one! It may be because it sorta reminds me of my own style, but I think you generally made an improvement. You're pacing yourself more with your description and not just running in to one thing after another, so great job for that. Story-wise, yay for Advanceshipping! =D The other advanceshipping fic I normally read has been put on hold recently, so its good that there's another one to read, I just hope that AAMAYL is its outcome as well. Good job for keeping your characters in character and also just wow at the Ash part. Totally took me by surprise for sure! I hope everything gets better for May in the chapters to come, and yeah, can't wait for your next installment xD
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    Yea, have any of you guys seen the movie Ghost? Well, this fic is based off of that, because the story would be interesting.
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    Default Chapter 2

    OMG CURSE MY FINISHING OFF CHAPTER QUICKLY!

    Chapter 2


    "Ugh..." Ash muttered to himself, getting up. He scratched his head, which was itchy because
    something was in it. Ash gazed around for a minute. The sky was a paper white, and little flakes of snow
    were falling from the sky, and he was wearing an almost white tuxedo.

    "Where am I!?" Ash shouted, looking around. Everything looked just alike, so it was hard to notice one thing.
    But, there was one thing making the diffrence. A giant golden stair case stretched all the way into the sky, and dissapeared into a golden sky.

    "Well, hello there..." spoke a voice, causing Ash to turn around. He gasped. He saw a figure, with two white wings spreading out of it's back.
    It had long, blue hair, and green eyes, and seemed to have a possibley perky face.

    "W-Who are you?" Ash stuttered, asking the figure. The figure smiled.
    "My name is Sarah. Do you remember me?" Sarah asked Ash, who had a confused look on his face.
    "Sarah?" Ash muttered to himself, then was pounded by flashback.

    FLASHBACK

    "But, do you have to leave?" Young Ash asked his friend. To him it seemed unfair.
    "I'm sorry, but, we are moving to Sinnoh..." Sarah told Ash. She actually felt some tears in her eyes.
    "Fine.." Young Ash sighed, before climbing onto a Jungle gym, and facing his back to her.
    "Well? What are you waiting for?" Ash began, "I bet you wanna go now!" he continued, his voice raising a little bit, and his temper increasing. Sarah had tears in her eyes. But she didn't know that this was also hard for Ash.
    "GO!" Ash shouted even louder this time. Sarah ran off to her mom, waiting by the corner.


    END OF FLASHBACK

    "I...I remember now..." Ash muttered to himself. "But your mom told me you died when I came to Sinnoh." Ash responded back.

    "Yes... I died in a car crash..." Sarah responded, with her head away from Ash's face. Ash's eyebrows suddenly went up.

    "But, If, your dead, then am I....?" Ash began, to which Sarah nodded.

    "I'm dead?" Ash asked, shocked. "B-B-B-But, t-t-there's no way that could have happened!" he rejected. Sarah pointed to the golden light.

    "There is heaven.." Sarah said, "I tried to go there, but I've been stuck here for a while..."

    "Really?" Ash asked. He was too confused, so he just smile nodded, and played along.

    "But, It hasn't been so bad. I've found a way back to Earth to roam around." Sarah said. Ash snapped to it. He knew that she could bring him.

    "Could you show me?" Ash asked her. She nooded, and then started to glow a crimson light, blinding Ash.

    "Hold on!" she told him, before grabbing his hand, and then glowing brighter, causing Ash to glow crimson too. There was a blinding crimson light, and the white sky of the place became a dark sky. They were back in Pallet Town.

    Well, Review away!
    Last edited by Ho-ohRocks201; 30th September 2008 at 9:41 AM.
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  7. #7
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    This chapter is kinda short... Don't rush the chapter, just take your time to write it.

    I sense some AshxSarah shipping >.>

    They were back in Pallet Town.
    Yay! More shippings in the next chapter.

    I hope that the next chapter would be longer >.>

    My review is just so short ._.

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    hey ho oh. im back! anyway back to the fan fic

    *coughs* ASH IS DEAD?! im already likeing it. lolz.

    "A-Ash, i-is d-dead?!" May began, before collapsing down on the Ketchum resident's floor, crying heavily.
    poor May. one heartbroken girl. *sniff* i hope Ash gets revied or something.

    is it just me or do i see abit of SarahxAsh shipping?

    Anyway i really like it. this is different coz theres no pokeshipping. anyway very nice. ^_^

  9. #9
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    O.o

    Why does everyone thing there is an AshxSarah shipping?

    Maybe... has something to do with the plot!
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    This sounds very similar to the movie Ghost, I love that film. The chapters are much too short, especially the first chapter.

    "I...I remember now..." Ash muttered to himself. "But your mom told me you died when I came to Sinnoh." Ash responded back.

    "Yes... I died in a car crash..." Sarah responded, with her head away from Ash's face. Ash's eyebrows suddenly went up.

    "But, If, your dead, then am I....?" Ash began, to which Sarah nodded.

    "I'm dead?" Ash asked, shocked. "B-B-B-But, t-t-there's no way that could have happened!" he rejected. Sarah pointed to the golden light.

    "There is heaven.." Sarah said, "I tried to go there, but I've been stuck here for a while..."

    "Really?" Ash asked. He was too confused, so he just smile nodded, and played along.

    "But, It hasn't been so bad. I've found a way back to Earth to roam around." Sarah said. Ash snapped to it. He knew that she could bring him.

    "Could you show me?" Ash asked her. She nooded, and then started to glow a crimson light, blinding Ash.

    "Hold on!" she told him, before grabbing his hand, and then glowing brighter, causing Ash to glow crimson too. There was a blinding crimson light, and the white sky of the place became a clear blue sky. They were back in Pallet Town.
    I think the reason why people sense some Sarah x Ash shippyess is because they're quickly getting alog together ad the fact they are both dead.

    Overall this fic sounds promising, I'm liking the mixture of shippyess going on here.


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    nice fic so far, but the chapters are a little short

    ho-oh (the pokemon, not the author) better bring Ash back to life so that he can be with May!!

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    Well, I said I'd read this sometime... sorry it took me so long. I always procrastinate. Anyway. Pretty good so far. Good description in the first chapter. Except that didn't sound like a real newscast. They would give some info on Ash, on where the crash was, what caused it... probably some footage from the scene and a statement from police or something... well, it's best to watch the news and see how these things are handled. There are probably some things on Youtube, too, that you could use for reference.

    Second chapter wasn't bad, but it could've been longer. Like, it seemed to stop in a rather awkward place. You probably could've put stuff you intend for the third chapter in the second.
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    Default Chapter 3

    Prepare to cry in this chapter, it's pretty emotional.

    Chapter 3

    The sky of Pallet Town was painted dark. Little droplets of water were falling out of the gray clouds far above. It was one of those classic rainy days, like the ones you see in movies. But May knew this was no movie. There was a black coffin, about the size of her old boyfriend, Ash. His body lay silent, and pale on the cushioned coffin. Pikachu stood over it’s trainer, waiting.

    “Ash was an inspiration to us all, he was brave, loyal, always put others first…” The preacher muttered, just like any regular time. The preacher had white hair, and was small. He had small reading glasses in order to read what someone had written for him. He was obviously being professional. May couldn’t hear this. Her eyes seemed to be fixed on Ash’s lifeless body, with his hat still on his head, the way he’d want it. Flowers from Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and even Sinnoh were placed around the coffin, in memory to the league challenges he participated in. Ash’s pokeballs were found intact, with the Pokemon he had all ok. His Chimchar was sitting in a corner, obviously he had a strong connection with Ash. Suddenly, May felt someone pat her on the shoulder. She gazed over to see Ash’s mom.

    “It’s ok, Honey.” Delia said. She sounded warm and inviting, something May really needed then.

    “May he rest in peace, and receive the blessings from Heaven” the preacher finished. He closed a small little book, and nodded over to a man May couldn’t recognize. He had small stubble on his chin, and black hair, with a Persian beside him. She would have thought the man was Giovanni, but Giovanni had his beard prized.
    Ash’s ghost saw all of this. He was standing right where his face was. Ash gazed down. Was that really him? It was really confusing for him. And the worst part, Brock didn’t seem to be there. Ash doubted Brock even knew Ash was dead, but the news would have probably reached him. The whole incident was too uncomfortable. He would have Hugged May if he could, but his arms wouldn’t make any contact whatsoever. May was in so much pain… Ash couldn’t bear it.

    “May doesn’t need this..” Ash muttered toward his inactive body. Then, he heard a faint swish, and Sarah glided in, and touched town. Sarah barley caught Ash’s eyes, watching him stare over his body. Ash sighed slightly. He noticed everybody else sitting there. Misty was dressed in a black kimono, like most Japanese women wear during a wake. His mom May, Dawn, with her blue hair in a ponytail in the back of her head, Casey, but with some yellow and black stripes on a wristband, and to even his surprise, Jessie, were also wearing black kimonos. His attention went over to the guys. Proffesor Oak, Tracey, Gary, Drew, Harrison, Morrison, Ritchie, and even more to his surprise, Paul, were dressed in black suits that most Japanese men would wear during a wake. Ritchie’s Sparky was standing beside Pikachu, also looking down at Ash’s pale face. Ash shook his head in disbelief.

    “No. No, No, No!” Ash shouted. He took a step back. He had a scared look on his face. This shouldn’t have happened. No. This would never have happened if Ash didn’t stick to that one road. Something else struck Ash strangely. Dirt never freezes over like the one he had been on. It’d only freeze if Water was splashed on it, and it hadn’t rained all week. Plus, his 4x4 had been fixed a day before he left. He probably had been set up. Ash took a final gaze, and noticed that Dawn and Gary were sitting next to each other, with Dawn’s hand squeezing Gary’s hand, making Gary’s face, no matter how he covered it up, to have a look of pain. He also noticed Misty’s hand in Tracey’s. Ash didn’t want to see this. It was forming tears around his eyes. He took down the hallway, and walked up the stairs to his room, which was kept in mint condition, like a hotel room. Ash tackled the bed, and, much to his surprise, plopped on the comfy sofa. He felt the tears forming in his eyes, and didn’t hide it. Tears went down Ash’s ghostly face. And he didn’t care.

    End of Chapter 3

    Anyways, review away.

    Edit: Darn it, why are the chapters coming out so short.
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    *sniff* how sad. i wonder how Ash is going to be back alive. and it was a surprise to find Jessie there. wait where James and Meouth?

    Anyway i like it. cant wait for the nest chapter. ^_^
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    Sorry but I don't really find it emotional =(

    His mom May, Dawn, with her blue hair in a ponytail in the back of her head, Casey, but with some yellow and black stripes on a wristband, and to even his surprise, Jessie, were also wearing black kimonos.
    See the bold. When I read it, I was like WTH, May is his mother!!?? I think you forget to put a comma there and it can be quite misleading >.>

    Hope Ash returns to life, although I'm not really a AdvanceShipping. So, there are going to be orangeshipping and cavaliershipping.. Hmm...

    Looking forward to ya next chapter =)

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    Quote Originally Posted by feimotion339
    what is the fastest way to make 1mil in runescape....http://www.coolrunescape.com/i am currently making 5k bow string which will get me about 500k but i don't know what to do after that.if u would like to look at my skills look at the highscores! plz help me.........!!!!!!!!!!!RunescapeRunescape goldWell.. around 3-4 years ago when i heard about runescape from a friend i decided to go check it out, i created 'Chavforlife' lol, you may laugh but it's true, i have no idea what made me think of that name, but yeah.. runescape powerlevelingBut anyway, since then i've only used this account but now it's got to the stage i actually really regret making this name in the first place, everyday my name get's commented by random player's, some "nice" comments suprisingly and some just pure hate which i understand ;p. But like with this name i'm forever getting judged, flamed when they have never actually spoken to me but meh.runescape cheatsWhat about you guy's, any of you regret making your runescape account name?http://www.maplemsmesos.com
    Please if you are here to spam don't. i already had enough of this on other sites/ please don't spam. it just annoys other people.

    And it has nothing to do with the fan fic either.

    thanks. ^_^

    Oh yeah ho oh. nice work once again on the fan fic. keep it up. ^_^
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  17. #17
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    kawaii-lurve: Some people may not find it emotional, some may...

    And, O_O" Oops...

    Undead_soul: Thanks! And James is back at his Grandparent's house back in the battle frontier where he left Chimeco. And Meowth is waiting in the baloon. XD

    Anyways, thanks everyone for viewing this fic!
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    Nice to see another chapter.

    Maybe if you use a program like word and try to aim for over a page and add more description, it would look quite a lot better. Of course the funeral part was quite nice, although I think there could have been much more work onto it to make it much more emotional as it seems like your intending it to be. I like how Delia is comforting May, gives it quite a nice touch and the whole plot looks promising here.


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    Aw, that's sad! One thing I would say is that the line "About the size of her old boyfriend," was a little awkward. We'd kind of assume as much, and it just sounded kind of funny. Other than that, it was good. Man, this makes me want to write an Ash's death Pokeshipping fic... but I've been so obsessed with a ship of my own making that I haven't really thought of Pokeshipping for a while... but I still want to write it... but I have other stuff I need to finish first... agh.
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    Default Chapter 4

    OMG another chapter...

    WARNING: DREW!!! AND ASH IS A POET O_o

    Chapter 4

    Ash’s ghost sobbed in his sofa. He just couldn’t take it anymore.

    “What are you doing?” Ash heard a voice say. He quickly glided up, and wiped the tears from his eyes with his arm. The handle started to rattle, and May entered. She then paused.

    MAY’S POV
    I paused suddenly, feeling a chill down my neck. The sheets of Ash’s bed were sort of thrown about. His window was shut, and there were no signs of life in his room.

    “How weird…” I muttered to myself, and progressed into Ash’s room. It felt weird to be in there without him. The First thing I noticed thrown in a box was a broken Voltorb clock that would have had a Pidgey pop out at noon. He had told me the day before he set out on his adventure, he threw the clock and broke it. I had chuckled at that, but it was just eerie now. I gazed carefully around more. Cautiously, I stepped in. I was mainly paying attention to the bed, still confusing me. I remembered old horror stories, about ghosts, and how they usually wanted to get revenge from beyond the dead. I had even seen a movie that was called Ghost, with Ash, of course. The movie was about a man who got murdered, and became a ghost. His wife was put in danger, and he had saved her. But the end, which I noticed a sparkle from Ash’s eyes, probably water in his eyes, the man had to go to heaven.

    Ash gazed at May, looking around the room, searching something, maybe a sign or something. He had to show her he was here. But how? Ash suddenly remembered the bed sheets, and how they were thrown about. He couldn’t touch it, May would faint. So Ash stayed gliding, hidden to May.

    “H-Hello?” May started worried. She was afraid that someone would pop out, and she’d end up like Ash. Not that that would be a bad thing, May noted. She’d be with Ash, and they’d be happy, together. But she wouldn’t go as far as kill herself. Ash would probably have wanted her to keep living. And that’s exactly what Ash wanted. May heard the door rattle suddenly, and she turned, to notice a familiar lush green hair, and eyes. Her best friend, who happened to be a Coordinator. Drew.

    “Drew? What are you doing here?” May asked, worrily. She suddenly got suspicious. Why was Drew in Ash’s room? Drew reached into his pocket, and grabbed a lined white sheet of paper.

    “Wha-?” May asked, or began, before Drew interrupted.

    “It’s a poem. I noticed in smudged in his drawer, trying to hide it probably.” Drew answered. May reached out, and took the sheet, and studied it. It looked almost like ELA homework, or something similar. She looked through his writing, and found something. A poem, written by him.

    Pearls, by Ash Ketchum
    Like a pearl,
    Her eyes are a treasure.
    Like a Pearl,
    She is valuable.
    Like a pearl,
    She is magnificent.”


    And under the word magnificent, she saw her name scribbled in the bottom. May started to blush. She had been called a Pearl, being valuable.

    “Wow..” May muttered. She couldn’t believe Ash was a poet, or, as good as he was.

    “May?” Drew began, noticing drips of tears from her eyes. May looked up, meeting Drew’s eyes, and sucked it in. Drew placed his hand on her shoulder, almost like a friendly gesture. Drew placed his other hand on her shoulder, directly facing her. Drew gazed at her for a minute, and pushed her down onto Ash’s bed, with his face close to hers.

    END OF CHAPTER 4

    DREW is evil in this chapter.
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  21. #21
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    “May?” Drew began, noticing drips of tears from her eyes. May looked up, meeting Drew’s eyes, and sucked it in. Drew placed his hand on her shoulder, almost like a friendly gesture. Drew placed his other hand on her shoulder, directly facing her. Drew gazed at her for a minute, and pushed her down onto Ash’s bed, with his face close to hers.
    *gets shotgun and shoots Drew* xD. nah that only a joke. anyway this paragraph my jawed dropped in shock. i wonder what Ash will think of this.

    anyway its going really good so far and this chapter was sure contest. anyway very nice and keep up the great work. ^_^
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  22. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    Singapore
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    328

    Default

    But the end, which I noticed a sparkle from Ash’s eyes, probably water in his eyes, the man had to go to heaven.

    Ash gazed at May, looking around the room, searching something, maybe a sign or something. He had to show her he was here. But how? Ash suddenly remembered the bed sheets, and how they were thrown about. He couldn’t touch it, May would faint. So Ash stayed gliding, hidden to May.
    I suggest that you put 'normal pov' before 'Ash gazed at May...' because it's kinda confusing. At first it was May's pov and suddenly it jumped to normal pov.

    “May?” Drew began, noticing drips of tears from her eyes. May looked up, meeting Drew’s eyes, and sucked it in. Drew placed his hand on her shoulder, almost like a friendly gesture. Drew placed his other hand on her shoulder, directly facing her. Drew gazed at her for a minute, and pushed her down onto Ash’s bed, with his face close to hers.
    Yay! Finally contestshipping!! *cheering* *get shoot by other shippers*

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    UK
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    Still getting short, but it's kinda nice. The thing about Ash being a poet is something I haven't seen before, so marks for originality here. one thing. So now the contestshipping starts kicking in. I didn't really see how Drew was evil here, but maybe he will e in later chapters. I wonder how you will pull it off.

    I think the main problem is quantity, once you sort that out, I think this is will come along well.

    About the poem, I feel in some ways it's out of character and I don't really imagine Ash writing a poem like that but I think Ash would write a poem as short as that though, nevertheless it was still a great touch to the fic.

    I see that it's been left y a cliff hanger. This makes me more curious to what happens next.
    Last edited by ChloboShoka; 3rd October 2008 at 2:37 PM.


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  24. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
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    Under the roof
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    "Yes... I died in a car crash..." Sarah responded, with her head away from Ash's face. Ash's eyebrows suddenly went up.

    "But, If, your dead, then am I....?" Ash began, to which Sarah nodded.

    "I'm dead?" Ash asked, shocked. "B-B-B-But, t-t-there's no way that could have happened!" he rejected. Sarah pointed to the golden light.

    "There is heaven.." Sarah said, "I tried to go there, but I've been stuck here for a while..."
    WOW~ COOL!!
    Ash is in heaven~

    She nooded, and then started to glow a crimson light, blinding Ash.
    It should be she nodded


    “How weird…” I muttered to myself, and progressed into Ash’s room. It felt weird to be in there without him. The First thing I noticed thrown in a box was a broken Voltorb clock that would have had a Pidgey pop out at noon. He had told me the day before he set out on his adventure, he threw the clock and broke it. I had chuckled at that, but it was just eerie now. I gazed carefully around more. Cautiously, I stepped in. I was mainly paying attention to the bed, still confusing me. I remembered old horror stories, about ghosts, and how they usually wanted to get revenge from beyond the dead. I had even seen a movie that was called Ghost, with Ash, of course. The movie was about a man who got murdered, and became a ghost. His wife was put in danger, and he had saved her. But the end, which I noticed a sparkle from Ash’s eyes, probably water in his eyes, the man had to go to heaven.

    Ash gazed at May, looking around the room, searching something, maybe a sign or something. He had to show her he was here. But how? Ash suddenly remembered the bed sheets, and how they were thrown about. He couldn’t touch it, May would faint. So Ash stayed gliding, hidden to May.

    “H-Hello?” May started worried. She was afraid that someone would pop out, and she’d end up like Ash. Not that that would be a bad thing, May noted. She’d be with Ash, and they’d be happy, together. But she wouldn’t go as far as kill herself. Ash would probably have wanted her to keep living. And that’s exactly what Ash wanted. May heard the door rattle suddenly, and she turned, to notice a familiar lush green hair, and eyes. Her best friend, who happened to be a Coordinator. Drew.
    Oops, you forgot to add Normal POV~

    “May?” Drew began, noticing drips of tears from her eyes. May looked up, meeting Drew’s eyes, and sucked it in. Drew placed his hand on her shoulder, almost like a friendly gesture. Drew placed his other hand on her shoulder, directly facing her. Drew gazed at her for a minute, and pushed her down onto Ash’s bed, with his face close to hers.
    Oops~
    What's he doing?
    o.O


    Rafe from Destiny Deoxys is my hot bishie, YOOHOO!

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    At the end of the Rainbow~
    Posts
    242

    Default Chapter 5

    Be warned, this chapter is a little rated R for the scene for most of the chapter

    Be warned, and go read this chapter...

    Chapter 5


    May laid on her back on Ash’s bed, as Drew had himself raised over her. Drew looked at her for a minute, and then, he kissed her. May tried to break free, and she had her eyes wide open, but she surrendered.

    “HEY! BACK AWAY FROM HER BU-“ Ash began, trying to stop him from making out with May. It was futile. He was just a ghost, and had no control over anything. Suddenly, Drew rolled over, putting May in control. Ash was even more shocked that May was still keeping it going. He stared in horror. May pulled free of Drew, and than began.

    “DREW! What are you going?” May asked him. Drew gazed at her longer, and then wrapped his arms around her back, where her bra strap was. Ash knew what Drew was planning. Ash turned to Sarah.

    “I have to do something!” Ash shouted at her, in which Sarah nodded.

    “Sad part is” Sarah began, “We can’t.” Ash looked back, and noticed Drew’s lips again to May’s. Drew reached down to where May’s pants were, and grabbed her shirt. He lifted it, and put it over May’s head, revealing a ruby bra. Drew went down to May’s stomach.

    “Drew…” May only muttered, before immobilizing. Drew was caressing her stomach with his lips. Ash reached out, then stopped suddenly. May had token Drew’s shirt off. Drew took control. His arms went back to where May’s bra strap was, and then, Ash heard something he didn’t want to hear. A sudden click! May’s bra fell down from her chest. Ash couldn’t see them, because Drew was already attacking them. May let out a sudden moan.

    “D-Drew…” May moaned out. Drew then reached down, and took his pants off, revealing his boxers. Ash looked away in disgust. He glided to the door, and disappeared. May had her arms down to his boxers, and slipped them off. Drew then took her pants off, and her panties. They were both naked. Drew took May’s head, and pushed it down to his private part. May looked at it for a second, and then put it in her mouth.

    “Yes… That’s it…” Drew moaned out himself. May released, and then spread her legs, causing Drew to go and lick it too. After a minute, Drew looked back to May, and kissed her lips again. He turned her around, and then broke his and May’s virginity. Drew breathed heavily as he sat himself back down, with May beside him.

    “That…” May began.
    “Was?” Drew asked.
    “Amazing…” May panted before falling backward.

    xXxXxXxXxXxXxX

    Ash stood in the hallway, in depper sob. Sarah glided through then paused.

    “What’s wrong?” Sarah asked.
    “What the f*** do you mean what’s wrong?” Ash barked at her. “My girlfriend had an affair with another man!”

    END OF CHAPTER


    Chapter is short, but very mature.
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