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Thread: ~Guns n' Roses~ Rated PG-13

  1. #1

    Unhappy ~Guns n' Roses~ Rated PG-13

    Okay, let's try again now that I feel a bit more sure! This fic is an Ikarishipping fic called "Guns n' Roses" For those of you who do not knw what Ikarishipping is, it's the pairing of Dawn and Paul. From the new series. It's rated PG-13 for violence and some bad language. Some. It's pretty shippy and it'll probably have a small Advanceshipping scene. Anyways I'm new here and I'm not used to much around here so please don't get mad if I do something, just correct me. I'm sorry if I do something wrong. Okay, here goes, please R & R!


    ~Guns n’ Roses~

    Rated PG-13 For Violence and bad language




    ~Prologue~



















    Rain pattered loudly on the smudgy window. The crystal drops dribbled down it slowly leaving a wet trail. Thunder bellowed hard and soft, and the lightning cracked in the sky.

    Dawn looked up at the gray clouds moving quickly. The fifteen-year old rested her elbows on the window sill and pressed her smooth hands against her soft cheeks. Her dark blue eyes shone with sadness and problems. A pink bracelet encircled her wrist loosely. It was a valuable pearl bracelet her father had given to her. Before he was mysteriously murdered when she was eleven. Dawn’s mother had also gone to jail from drunk driving, she was freed four months ago and then married another man, Randy Henshaw, Dawn's greatest nightmare.

    Her mother was hardly home and if she was, she’d be passed out on the floor after a large dose of alcohol. Dawn’s step-father, Randy was no better. When her mother was gone, he’d get drunk and break open her door, yelling at her, many times abusing her. The pretty girl never understood why he did such a horrible thing. Now when he came in, she’d hide and fear would be all she felt, watching him tear at her room wildly. She always made up excuses when her teacher asked her about her bruises. She was crying on the inside but no one could see it. No one.

    Dawn got up from her bed and walked over to her nightstand. Her room was pretty empty and all she had was a nightstand with some clothes, a closet which only held her yellow duffle bag, and a small bed with a neatly folded blanket on it and and her stuffed octopus, Otis. She picked up a picture from her nightstand and stared at it with deep, sad eyes. It was a picture of her, her father, and her mother in The Fantastic Island, an amusement park which her family went to on her 5th birthday. Her father was holding her on his shoulders and smiling, her mother was smiling warmly as well. Of course this picture was taken before her father’s death. Dawn's father had mysteriously died one night. He was shot, but the murderer was unknown due to the amount of small evidence. The case was still trying to be solved now. Ever since her father's death, Dawn's mother was always drinking, going to late night clubs, and taking drugs. When everyone was at home, Dawn would usually be locked up in her room and her parents would be drunk or high in the living room watching endless television. The girl would sometimes talk to her one and only friend, Otis. And if she wasn't talking to Otis, she'd be thinking about why the world was so cold.

    A teardrop fell onto the picture and rolled down it. Dawn closed her eyes in distress at what her life was, a blissful success, to a big disaster. She then looked at herself in the picture. Her friends were all gone. They went to different schools after elementary. She was lonely at school. No one talked to her. They just made fun of her from afar, saying that her mother went to jail. She was still a very pretty girl though. She trembled sadly and then lifted her head at the sound of the banging door.

    “Open the door!” Her step-father shrieked angrily. Dawn jumped and more tears slid down her face. More banging sounds rang in her ears, she then closed her eyes knowing that she didn‘t want this anymore. She had to run.
    Dawn ran into her closet and grabbed her yellow duffle bag, stuffing her clothes and her blanket inside. She then grabbed the picture of her family and gently put it in, making sure it wasn‘t in a position to break. Dawn looked at her one and only stuffed animal, Otis. It was a small, sea green octopus with a warm smile on it. She grabbed and then began to fumble with her window frantically.

    “Dawn!! I‘ll break the damn door open and show you hell!!” He yelled banging some more. Dawn finally snapped her window open and raised it up. She then looked back, knowing that she would never see her mother again, but it was for the best. More tears slid down her face and she jumped out the window and landed on the round with her hair falling in her face. She brushed it away and then quickly ran away as fast as she could, running through crowds of people on the street. She trembled as she ran and looked back at her apartment building. She then turned around and rushed away from the town, holding her white beanie down as she did. Her heart pounded hard as she ran, hoping that everything would be different now.

    The door broke open and Randy stomped in, his eyes wild with anger.
    "Dawn! Get the hell out of you hiding space!" He yelled. He looked around the room, under her bed, and in her closet.
    "Dawn! Where the crap are you?!" He glared. He then saw her open window.
    "Damn you Dawn." He muttered getting his cell phone out.

    Dawn continued running and then stopped, looking back. Her apartment home was very far now. She had run out of town. Dawn began to run faster and into a forest, pushing through sharp tree limbs and branches that cut through her skin badly. She then stopped to catch her breath and looked up, knowing that her life was never going to be the same.


    ~The End of the Prologue~


    Okay! How's this one?
    Last edited by Whitefire2000; 21st June 2007 at 4:29 PM.

  2. #2
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    Hi, fellow Ikarishipper!

    I loved the Prolouge, very well written actually. I think you did have correct spacing too. I enjoyed this, and continue!

    Dawn looked up at the gray clouds moving quickly. The fifteen-year old rested her elbows on the window sill and pressed her smooth hands against her soft cheeks. Her dark blue eyes shone with sadness and question.
    Look at the bolded parts, Okey?

    You should say "problems" I think. You're talking about Dawn being sad, or very lonely right? But, yeah. it's also right.

    Her boots pounded on the ground as her heart did, hoping that everything would be different now.
    Pounded, mm...I don't think it's the right word....*sigh*

    Oh, yes. And if people do get mad, it's because they want you to improve, and they want you to do better because you have much room for improvement.

    Last edited by honey_clover112; 21st June 2007 at 1:33 PM.


    renami ++ says:
    JULIAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    renami ++ says:
    WILL YOU MARRY ME
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    UM KAY I'LL MARRY YOU
    Dynamite Shark Princess says:
    ILU
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    WAIT WTF I HAVE A LOT OF ADMIRERS

  3. #3

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    Oh thank you for the improvements! I am going to edit it. Thank you so much! I do need room for improvement though. Thank you! ^_^ I'm going to have to edit the first chapter a little though. And thank you for the word problems, I was searching for a word that would go with the sentence.
    Last edited by Whitefire2000; 21st June 2007 at 4:32 PM.

  4. #4
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    oh i never read a ikarishipping fic before i like it i think it has alot of potenchal i hope there will be another chapter soon!!!

    under construction

  5. #5

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    Thank you DarkFireAbsol! ^^ The first chapter will be up soon! Thanks for the compliment!

  6. #6
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    Mm, I wish you the best for the next chappie, okay?

    The door broke open and Randy stomped in, his eyes wild with anger.

    "Dawn! Get the hell out of you hiding space!" He yelled. He looked around the room, under her bed, and in her closet.

    "Dawn! Where the crap are you?!" He glared. He then saw her open window. 'Don't tell me...' he thought

    "Damn you, Dawn. I swear I'm gonna find you." He muttered getting his cell phone out.
    ^Edited.

    Yeah, correct spacing dear. Some people don't understand what the author's writing because of no space after a sentence(in a dialouge.)=P


    Last edited by honey_clover112; 23rd June 2007 at 8:43 AM.


    renami ++ says:
    JULIAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    renami ++ says:
    WILL YOU MARRY ME
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    UM KAY I'LL MARRY YOU
    Dynamite Shark Princess says:
    ILU
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    WAIT WTF I HAVE A LOT OF ADMIRERS

  7. #7
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    To be honest, I don't think Dawn's mother would be Drinking or doing anything like that. Put me on your PM list, kay? Wish you luck!
        Spoiler:- Sig:

  8. #8

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    I know Dawn's mother wouldn't do such thing. I'm just trying to make it interesting. Thanks though! I'll put you on meh PM list! ^^

    Okay! First chapter up! I hope you guys like it! I know the camping part may sound weird but she only wanted to camp by him. Oops! Please R & R! Enjoy!


    ~Guns n’ Roses~ PG




    ~Chapter One~


    Dawn tiredly walked through the forest. She was covered in scars from the thick branches and her head was bleeding from hitting her head on a sharp rock when she tripped. She was in searing pain and was extremely tired but she had to find a good place to rest.

    Dawn stumbled over to a tree, and grasped a limb. Oh…I can’t go on much longer…She thought, her mind racing wearily. She fell to the ground and felt her head rest on the soft green grass. She just closed her deep blue eyes and went to sleep.

    The sun beamed down on the forest hard, lightening up the trees. Birds twittered loudly in the day and the soft breeze gently made the flowers sway.

    A lavender haired boy walked slowly through the forest wearing a dark blue, and black jacket. The sun shown brightly on his blue jeans and bag. His eyes were sharp and serious.

    The boy’s name was Paul. Paul wasn’t very ordinary. He had run away from his home to see what the real world was like, he hated being cooped up at home. He was hardly aloud to go out because his parents always pinned him to his studies. Paul had never had an inch of fun and because of his boring life, he was pretty sharp and bad-tempered. Paul did know what went on around the world. He knew that there were murders, robberies, and other bad things, he just wanted to see more of it. The boy sighed. Was he ever going to see something interesting?

    Paul pressed his hand to his forehead. He had been walking pretty far now.
    “Damn. How long does this forest go on?” He complained to himself. He was starting to feel really annoyed now. Paul kept walking through the thick area, hoping to see someone. He then stopped and saw a yellow duffle bag. What the? Who the hell leaves a bag like that in the forest? He asked himself. He then walked closer and then saw a blue haired girl. He widened his eyes and quickly walked over to her.

    Paul looked down at her and saw her chest rising and falling slowly. Alright, why would a girl sleep here of all places? Crazy idiot. He said silently. He then bent his head down and saw she was covered in fresh cuts. Part of him felt that he should help her, and the other half just said for him to get a life. Okay, okay. If you help, she’s gonna thank you. If you don’t help, you’ll probably see her again and feel that sour feeling in your stomach. Okay, so I should help her, I hate that damn sour feeling. Paul thought. He opened up his bag and began to dig through it, looking for his first-aid materials.

    Dawn squeezed her eyelids and then felt herself awakening from a long nap. Her head felt sweaty, her vision was blurry, and parts of her face were covered with blue locks of hair. She didn’t feel her beanie on her head and her clips were gone. Dawn also felt a warm and comfortable cotton blanket over her. She widened her eyes and then sat up, looking around her. She then looked at her arms and saw that her scars were patched up with bandages.

    “Wow. You’re awake already?” Dawn heard a sarcastic voice. She turned her head to see a lavender haired boy cooking something on a fire.
    “What? What’s going on? Who are you?” Dawn asked. She then felt a cold breeze sway in and she held the blanket closer to her. The boy turned around and narrowed his eyes.
    “My name’s Paul. I found you lying on the ground asleep. You know that was pretty stupid of you to sleep right in the open of the forest. Anyone could’ve found you and ransacked your duffle bag, I mean it was right in front of a town.” He said. Dawn scowled at him and then looked around.
    “I’m Dawn- Wait! This isn’t the same place I fell asleep.” She said, looking around. Paul nodded.

    “It isn’t, Dawn. You were in front of a whole town, so I brought you here. Dimwit” He replied, stirring some chili in a pot. Dawn ignored his insult.
    “Brought me…? Does that mean you…picked me up?” She hesitated to ask the question. Paul narrowed his eyes again.
    “I hate to admit it, but yes, and I also took care of your wounds. Learn to take care of yourself.” He said, not taking his eyes off of his food. Dawn felt her cheeks turn pink but then she shook away the feeling.
    “So…um…Do you live around here?” Dawn asked, her voice was quiet.
    “No. I left home to go out and see the world for myself. Now I‘m camping out here. I could check into a hotel but I don‘t see any around so I‘m glad I brought my tent.” Paul said sharply.

    “So…you‘re going to camp out here?” Dawn.
    “Yeah. Pretty much.” He muttered.
    “Um, Paul?” Dawn asked quietly.
    “What is it?”
    “Even though I don‘t know you very well, I seem to feel safe around you. You don‘t sound or look like a pervert. Could I camp out here as well for a while?” She stammered.
    “What? Like I‘d let you camp out here near me.” He said sharply. He then looked up at her and saw a hurt look. He sighed with annoyance.
    “Okay, fine. You can camp out here. Even though I hardly know you. Aren’t you supposed to be at home with your parents anyways?” Dawn looked down the instant he said the word “parents”.
    “N-no reason. Thanks for letting me camp here.” She replied.

    After Dawn and Paul’s conversation, Dawn had helped to set up camp. Paul was still annoyed at the idea, but Dawn kept telling him about perverts. Paul watched as she slowly set up a tent, not getting mad when it fell down sometimes. Dawn straightened out the tent and made it firm so it wouldn’t fall down. She then went to work on Paul’s tent which Paul didn’t mind her doing, he did hate putting up his tent.

    He watched as she made his look nice and not saggy like it looked the way he did it. She seemed like a nice person, but troubled by something. Paul went back to stirring his chili which was looking pretty good now.

    “Alright, I’m finished setting up your tent, I still don't know why you couldn't set up your own camp.” He heard Dawn say. The blue-haired girl sat down next to him and looked down. Paul stopped stirring and then gave his wooden spoon to Dawn.

    “Hold this.” He simply said and got out two bowls from his bag. Dawn held the spoon up and got a handkerchief out from her duffle bag. She then cleaned the spoon’s top and then sprawled the handkerchief on the ground, setting the wooden spoon on top of it. Paul handed her a bowl of chili.
    “Here. Chili.” He said, digging into his own bowl. Dawn looked down at it hesitantly. Paul looked up at her.
    “Never had chili?” He asked. Dawn shook her head.
    “My…my parents weren’t usually home so I’m not used to cooked foods.” Dawn replied, still staring at her chili. Paul sighed with annoyance. Dawn frowned.
    “Fine, I’ll eat some.” She scoffed. She then lifted her spoon up slowly and put it in her mouth, taking it out and nibbling a little. She then swallowed and widened her eyes.

    “I-it’s one of the nicest things I’ve tasted. Thank you.” She said, her voice gentle and small. Paul sighed again.
    “You don’t like it, do you?” He asked, knowing the answer. Dawn shook her head grimly.
    “I’m sorry. I'm not used to spice.” She said, hoping she didn’t hurt his feelings. To her surprise, Paul laughed.
    “Ah I felt like you’d hate it. It’s got lots of pepper, just the way I like it.” He smirked. Dawn glared at him and then put her bowl down.
    “I’m going to sleep.” She said sharply and then walked into her tent. Paul shrugged and picked up the dirty bowls, dumping out Dawn’s unfinished chili. He then yawned and took Dawn’s handkerchief, which she had left behind and started to wipe the bowls clean. He then set them into his bag, bending down to get into his tent.

    The stars shone brightly in the middle of the night. The moon glowed the brightest, making the stars seem dull. The dark night sky hid two tents in the forest. One tent zipped open quietly.

    Dawn slipped out of the tent quietly, grasping Otis in her right arm. She walked outside and carefully sat herself down on a log, looking up at the sky.

    “Dad, how is everything up there? I hope it’s better than here. I ran away from home. I just couldn’t stay there anymore. I thought home was a place that was adored and a place that couldn’t be feared, but ever since Randy came, it’s turned into the opposite of what a home should be. I’m camping out near a boy's camp who helped me. He doesn’t seem bad. I could see it in his eyes. For some reason, I feel a bit safer here than at home. Thanks for listening Dad. I love you.” She said. A large lump fell onto her throat. She looked down and clutched Otis tighter.

    Paul stirred around in his sleep restlessly. He sat up and opened his eyes, knowing that it was morning. He zipped his tent open and walked out, stretching his muscles. He stopped when he saw Dawn sitting on the log holding onto a stuffed octopus. He slowly walked behind her.

    “Still play with dolls, eh?” He smirked. Dawn jumped as his voice came out of nowhere. She turned her head behind her and frowned with annoyance.
    “No! For your information, this is a stuffed animal. I’ve had this since I was two!” She snapped. Paul grinned.

    “Whoah there, don’t get too loud.” He widened his eyes with amusement. Dawn got up and scowled at him.
    “Never mind. There’s no use arguing with you. I’m getting my stuff.” She huffed angrily. She then walked off. Paul stared as she walked off, his eyes full of success.
    “Getting people ticked is one of my hobbies.” He snickered. He then walked away, gathering his belongings as well.

    As soon as the two were done packing, Paul began to walk off alone. Dawn looked up quickly.
    “Hey wait! Where are you going?” She asked, picking her duffle bag up and slinging it over her shoulder. Paul didn’t answer and just kept walking.
    “Hey!” Dawn stumbled over to him, catching up behind him.
    “What?” Paul asked.
    “Why didn’t you wait for me?” She asked.
    “We’re not traveling together if that’s what you’re suggesting.” Paul said. Dawn’s face turned blush pink.
    “I can’t take care of you all the time Dawn.” He said stopping. Dawn’s expression filled with anger and determination.
    “I can take care of myself! I was just going say thank you for helping me! But you don’t seem to want my gratitude so goodbye!” She yelled, stalking off.

    Paul watched as she stormed away and then shrugged his shoulders and started to walk again.

    Dawn ran through the forest, her mind fueled with anger. The nerve of him! To say I can’t take care of myself! The next time I see him, I’ll show him! Dawn’s mind stormed. She kept running faster and faster.

    Dawn panted as she walked into town. It wasn’t her home town, but it was close to it. She walked on the sidewalk, her eyes looking weary. She stopped near an alley to and put her hand on the wall. She then looked ahead of her and stared beyond the town. I wonder where Paul is now. She thought.

    “Hey babe.” A voice said from the shadows of the alley. Dawn jerked around and stepped back at the sound.
    “What-” She felt a hand pull her into the dark alley and then someone’s hands on her shoulder. The hands pushed her against the cold wall hard, causing Dawn to wince.
    “Hey, you’re little Dawn Hart, correct?” The voice asked. His voice sounded creepy and hoarse.

    “What?! Hey! Let go of me!” Dawn spat trying to push the guy off of her. The hands pushed her back harder.
    "You’re daddy wants you. He sent us to get you. But just before I deliver him to you, I want to have a little fun babe.” He snickered. Dawn widened her eyes. Randy? Fun? No!!
    “No! Stop it!” She shrieked. The boy edged his face closer to her, pinning her fully against the wall with his body. Dawn tried to move but couldn’t break free from his lock. The boy moved more closer. Dawn closed her eyes in distress, knowing she could do nothing.

    ~End of Chapter One~

    I hope you all liked it! Please R & R!
    Last edited by Encyclopika; 25th June 2007 at 5:11 PM. Reason: double post

  9. #9
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    Nice, Shinjii sounded like Drew and Dawn sounded like May. Your story gets better and better. Although, the last part really grosses me out. Wish-You-Luck!
        Spoiler:- Sig:

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    Thanks! ^^. The last part was kinda sticky, but something comes up.

  11. #11
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    wow this is a great story! I love sad stories that have suspense! Poor Dawn, and Paul being kind of a jerk to her. He kinda reminds me of Drew, so maybe his personality should be focused more towards the real Paul from the series? Basically he likes to say the word loser and all, but I love this story and I want to read more! I'm not really a supporter of ikarishipping, I'm a total penguinshipper, but wow, it's amazing! Could you please add me to your PM list, and let me know when the next chapter is out? Thanks, and keep it up! There were only a few typos, but I have them, too, so it's great! I can't wait for the next chapter! I hope Paul saves Dawn ^^


    Read my first fan fic! Please R&R!

    Dawn's Rising Sun

    [~littledreamindawn~]

  12. #12

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    Thank you! ^ ^ I promise I'll let you know about the second chapter! Thanks! And the typos,eh heh I think I need to edit my chapters before I post them. Thank you though! 8D

  13. #13

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    Okay! The second chapter's up! I hope you guys will like this one! It may not be too long. Please R & R! Enjoy!






    Guns n’ Roses




    ~Chapter 2~





    Dawn closed her eyes in distress and waited for the sickly moment. Suddenly, the weight of the boy was lifted and she heard a high pitched shriek. Dawn’s eyes flew open and she saw who she’d never expect. A lavender haired boy drew back his fist from a guy on the ground. Paul! Dawn’s mind screamed.

    “Away from the girl, freak.” Paul said. The other guys were about to lunge at him wildly but Paul grabbed Dawn and took out a black gun, holding it to her head. Dawn widened her eyes with fear. Was he really going to do it? Paul bent his face towards hers.
    “I’m not gonna shoot you.” He whispered. Dawn gulped and hoped it was the truth. Paul pulled her closer to him and glared at the gang of thugs. She felt her face go red at the fact of being so close to him.

    “I’ll kill this girl if you don‘t let me leave.” He narrowed his eyes. The boys glared at Paul, but the man who was slugged by him stood up and held his hand in front of them to make them stop. Dawn guessed he was the leader. She clutched onto her yellow bag fearfully.

    “Henshaw said he wanted her alive. Either we go up to him and tell him she’s dead, or we get her next time and rake in the cash.” He said, his glare burned at Dawn and Paul.

    The other guys nodded and stepped back farther into the alley. Paul stepped back, still holding onto Dawn and his gun still pointed at her head. He then slipped away from the thugs. Dawn trembled as Paul ran along with her.

    “They’ll chase us.” She said, her voice quiet and cracked. Paul narrowed his eyes, knowing it was true. He stopped and raised his hand up. A dark yellow taxi with some black spots on it drove up and stopped. Paul opened the car door and shoved Dawn inside, getting inside as well. He then closed the door.

    “Where too?” The driver asked smiling.
    “Emerald Park.” Paul said. Dawn glanced over at Paul.
    “Thanks for saving me.” She said. Paul looked over at her.
    “You should stay away from those alleys. They’re infested with thugs.” He said.
    “Why did you save me?” She asked.
    “Dawn, they said something about a man wanting you. You’re worth money. Why?” Paul asked, ignoring her question. Dawn looked down silently.
    “Dawn?” He asked. Dawn looked up at him with sorrowful eyes.
    “If I told you why, you’d turn me into him for the money.” She said.

    Paul looked over at the driver to see if he was listening.
    “Are you listening to our conversation?” He asked. The driver chuckled.
    “No sir! I’m just listening for the word money! And pie. My wife bakes such good pies! Wow! I’m already hungry! Ha ha!” He laughed. Paul raised his eyebrows, getting the feeling that this guy wasn’t so bright.
    “Okay…” He said. He then turned back to Dawn who was still looking down.

    “How do you I’ll turn-” Paul was interrupted by the driver’s honking.
    “Here you are. Have a good day with your girlfriend sir!” The driver smiled. Dawn looked up blushing.
    “Thank you, she’s not my girlfriend. Here.” Paul said, giving the driver sixty-five dollars.
    “Thanks!” He smiled. Paul climbed out of the taxi and Dawn did then same, still holding onto her yellow bag.
    “Bye!” The driver sang. He then drove away. Dawn turned around and looked Paul.
    “You have a gun?!” She yelled. Paul put his hand on his ear.
    “Now you ask me?” He said.
    “Well I didn’t want to say it in the taxi with the driver and all,” Dawn muttered. “And why’d you take me here?” She asked.

    “Did you want them to follow us? Paul asked as he turned on her and began walking towards a bench. Dawn walked towards the bench as well and sat down. Paul sat down beside her and folded his legs. He then flicked his eyes onto her.
    “So you’re wanted? For what?” He asked. Dawn glared at him.
    “Why should I tell you? And why did you come and save me? I thought we parted ways!” She narrowed her eyes. Paul sighed with annoyance.

    “I heard him say something about a man called “Henshaw”.” He said, his voice was full of pure venom as he said ‘Henshaw’. Dawn looked up.
    “Why did you say his name like that?” She asked. Paul didn’t answer. His eyes were even more piercing this time.
    “Randy Henshaw,” He finally said. “Is a man I despise.” He said. Dawn widened her eyes.

    “Randy Henshaw is the name of my step-father!” She exclaimed. Paul widened his eyes and looked at her.
    “You’re his daughter?” He asked, his eyes glazed. Dawn shrank down.
    “N-no. H-he’s my step-father.” Dawn said sadly looking down.
    “I was afraid of him. Even now because he…” She trailed off. Paul softened his gaze knowing that she didn’t like him just as much as he did.
    “What did he do?” Paul asked. Dawn closed her eyes and began.

    ~Flashback~

    The door banged loudly. Dawn knew what that meant. She jumped down and under her bed, trembling with fear, hoping that it wouldn‘t go wrong. The door broke open and Randy stalked in, his eyes glazed.

    “Dawn! Where the hell are you!?” He shrieked. Dawn didn’t say a thing, knowing that he was pretty drunk. Her eyes burned with tears as Randy threw her things down and tore through her room. He grabbed Otis and threw him against the wall. He stopped and narrowed his eyes.

    “Damn it.” He said as he walked out of her room, slamming the door hard behind him. Dawn tiptoed out from under her bed and locked the door quietly. She then turned and looked at her room sadly. She walked over to Otis and picked him up, hugging him tightly. She then looked up out of her window with sorrowful eyes.

    “I wish you were still here father.” She said, her voice shaking. She then looked outside of her window and saw her mother’s car driving up the parking lot in front of the apartments. She watched as she walked out, smoking a cigarette as she stepped into the building.

    Dawn sighed as she saw her, wishing that she would stop her bad habits of drinking and smoking. She then sat down on her bed and held Otis closer, hoping that the future would hold the best.

    ~End of Flashback~

    Paul widened his eyes at Dawn’s story.
    “He…did those things to you?” He asked. Dawn nodded sadly.
    “He was very polite when my mother met him, but then I found out his true self.” She closed her eyes in distress.
    “Is that why you were in the forest instead of home?” He asked.

    Dawn nodded grimly and looked down.
    “For some reason, I had a feeling that maybe he was the one who killed my real father but there was never enough proof. I’m still afraid.” She trembled. Paul watched as she swam through her hard memories. Suddenly he felt pretty bad about teasing her. I hate you Paul. He said as he closed his eyes.

    “Why don’t you like Randy? How do you even know him?” Dawn asked as she looked up. Paul glanced over at her.
    “Randy Henshaw… Is my father’s enemy and has been.” He said, sounding like he’d kill Randy. Dawn widened her eyes.

    “They were enemies because of many things. There was a woman, her name was Isabella Carter. My father loved her a lot. Randy Henshaw liked her too. One night when my father was going to tell her his feelings about her, he saw Randy holding her hand and walking with her in the mall. He was heart broken but loved Isabella and respected her wishes. Then Randy and her got married, but my father didn’t show up to their wedding. When they were married, Isabella’s father bought them a house, a big and nice one. My father always looked from afar, always making sure that Isabella was happy. He always felt sick when he saw the two together. But one night Randy was tired of Isabella. He started seeing another woman without her knowing until one night she saw him kiss the other woman. Isabella was so devastated. She loved Randy a lot. She was practically broken when she fund out he was cheating on her. Randy said he was tired of her and left her, her heart broken. My father tried to cheer her up by giving her presents, but one night she committed suicide, leaving a note saying that she loved my father and wished the best for him. My father was broken at her death and tried to get rid of it, he fell in love again, with my mother but he never forgot about Isabella. It pushed away his sorrow. Later on when I was five, Randy came back. He stole a gun from our house then and knocked my father out cold. We were afraid that he took more than that, but he did. He took one of my family’s most special items. He took my father’s sapphire amulet. It was gold and it had a real sapphire stone in it. We never saw it again. He claims that he didn’t take it but I know he did. He ruined most of my father‘s life.” Paul finished, his eyes were still as sharp as ever.

    Dawn widened her eyes.
    “I’ve never seen him with a sapphire amulet.” She said. Paul shook his head.
    “That item was very special. The sapphire’s real.” He said stubbornly.
    “Well…Maybe we can find some evidence that he stole it…And maybe we can find out if he killed my father or not.” Dawn suggested, her voice was low. Paul widened his eyes a little.

    “You mean get Randy arrested?” He asked. Dawn nodded slowly. She then shook her head.
    “What’s the use? No one’s going to believe us. We’re only teenagers and I don’t think you’d want my help.” She said, looking down. Paul looked away.

    “Maybe if you did help me and I helped you, we could get Randy into jail. You’d feel safer and I’d feel that I’ve made my father proud. So…You up to it?” He asked, “It’ll be pretty dangerous.” Dawn stared at him.
    “I’m willing to help you. But would you like me to?” She asked. Paul nodded and grinned determinedly.
    “Alright then it’s settled. We’ll team up and prove Randy Henshaw’s bad news. That's something I've always wanted to do.” He said standing up.

    Dawn felt a bit better now. She was going to prove that her step-father was a menace with a friend. The corners of her mouth rose up. It had been a while since Dawn had smiled. Paul turned to her.

    “One more thing. Don’t get all weird about this, kay?” Dawn rolled her eyes and nodded.
    “Okay good. Come on. I know someone who can get us a ride around the city to collect information.” He said walking off. Dawn ran up to him and began to walk by him, knowing that maybe her life would take a bigger turn.

    Dawn and Paul had been walking for a long time, the sun slowly sank as they did. Dawn groaned.
    “I’m so tired. Why couldn’t we take a taxi?” She asked. Paul seemed tired and cranky too.
    “Taxi are expensive. You know how much I paid that frozen-brained idiot?” He muttered. Dawn sighed and continued walking. Paul then stopped in front of a candy shop. Dawn stopped as well and looked up.

    “Why’d you stop?” She asked.
    “We’re here.” Paul replied. Dawn narrowed her eyes with annoyance.
    “A candy shop? We walked all the way here to go to a stinking candy shop?” Dawn glared at him. Paul groaned.
    “I’ll explain when we get inside.” He said and pushed her inside.

    Dawn stumbled into sweet smelling place with rows of candy, yet it was dark and no lights were on.
    “Wow…” She trailed off. Paul stepped inside and looked around.
    “Kengo? It’s me, Paul.” He said.
    “Paul!” A boy’s voice made Dawn jump. A brown haired boy switched the lights on and slapped Paul on the back.
    “Hey buddy! It’s been a long time!” He said. He then flicked his eyes over to Dawn.

    “What’s your name miss?” He asked.
    “I’m Dawn Hart.” She said. The boy smiled.
    “I’m Kengo Ferset. I‘m taking care of this place while my father and mother are gone on a business trip. Pleased to meet you.” He took Dawn’s hand and kissed it. Dawn blushed a bit and Paul narrowed his eyes with annoyance and a hint of jealousy.

    “Uh Kengo,” Paul said grabbing the boy, “We need your help.” He said. Kengo grinned.
    “We? She must be your girlfriend Paul. You got a pretty one.” He smiled. Paul gritted his teeth.
    “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s just a friend I’m helping out.” He muttered. Kengo was still smiling.
    “Okay…” He said, grinning.
    “Do you still have your black SUV?” Paul asked. Kengo nodded.

    “Yep, right under the shop. I’m driving a nice Porsche now. The SUV is for other things.” He chuckled. Paul smiled.
    “Can we use your black SUV? We‘re being hunted down by these guys.” He said. Dawn widened her eyes. Did Paul know how to drive?

    “Sure, anything to keep my pal from getting caught! Come down here.” Kengo said opening a gray door and stepping inside. Paul did the same and glanced at Dawn, telling her to come. Dawn nodded and stepped in delicately.

    She looked around and saw it was just a small gray room with boxes of candy. Dawn looked around and then heard the door bell of the candy shop ring as someone stomped in.
    “Stay here.” Kengo said as he opened the door and closed it behind him.
    “Welcome to Candy Cove, what can I do for you?” He smiled. Three men glared at him. One pushed him against the wall hard and pinned him there. Kengo widened his eyes and then narrowed them.

    “Where’s the girl!? We almost swear we saw her walk in here!” Yelled the man. The boy raised his eyebrows.
    “Girl? What girl?” He asked. The man pushed him against the wall harder.
    “You know who we’re talking about! She’s a girl with blue hair and carries a yellow bag around!” He spat angrily. Kengo smiled cleverly.

    “Oh her? I know where you can find her.” He said.
    Dawn’s heart pounded as she listened. She looked at Paul with fearful eyes.
    “Is he really going to tell?” She whispered loudly. Paul grabbed her and put his hand over her mouth.
    “Shhh! Not so loud!” He said in a really quiet voice. Dawn blushed, her face turning a crimson red color. Paul let go of her and bent down.
    “Move Dawn.” He whispered. Dawn stepped back a little and watched. Paul lifted up a small dusty rug on the floor and threw it aside.

    Dawn widened her eyes as she saw a square doorway to a basement. The lavender haired boy quietly unlatched it and opened it.
    “Hurry, get down.” Paul said. Dawn looked down hesitantly, looking at the height from up where she was, down to the basement. Paul sighed with annoyance.

    “I’ll go first. Then I’ll help you down. Dimwit.” He muttered. He leaped down into the basement and waited for Dawn. Dawn hesitated again.
    “Um, is there a ladder down there?” She asked quietly. Paul shook his head impatiently.
    “Hurry up!” He whispered loudly. Dawn gulped and dropped her bag in the basement. She then bent down and slid her legs down, letting them hang above the basement. She grabbed the edges of the door way and lowered herself down carefully, stopping with alarm.

    “Paul! I’m going to fall!” She said frantically.
    “No you’re not! Just let go of the edges!” He said sharply.
    “No!” Dawn cried, “I’m not going to break a leg!” Suddenly, Dawn’s hands slipped off the edge. The blue haired girl widened her eye.
    “No!!” She screamed as she came down. Paul looked up and then felt her crashing down on him, pain seared through him.

    Paul fell to the ground and opened his eyes wearily. Dawn rested on him, her head pressing against his chest. The two jerked their heads up immediately. Dawn leaped away from him.

    “I’m really sorry Paul!” She said, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment. Paul got up and looked away, hiding his red face.
    “That’s okay, next time do what I say. You almost killed me.” He said sharply. Dawn frowned at his words and then looked around. She widened her eyes.


    “Yes the blue haired girl! She left a long time ago!” Kengo said, chuckling. The man let go of Kengo and punched the wall angrily.
    “Damn it. We missed her!” He shrieked. Kengo grabbed the man’s wrist hard and twisted it.
    “Don’t hurt or threaten a clerk.” He said and threw him back, making the man burst out of the shop. The other two glared at the clerk and ran out of Candy Cove. Kengo grinned.

    “Well done Kengo!” He said to himself. He then turned to the door and opened it, stepping inside the small room. He looked down and saw that Dawn and Paul were already in the basement.


    “Hello!” He said as he jumped down. Dawn and Paul turned to him.
    “That’s a large car!” Dawn exclaimed, pointing to the big black SUV. Kengo nodded.
    “Yep! This baby belonged to my father! He gave it to me when I learned how to drive.” He smiled. A large noise came from up in the store.
    “Come out you sly little idiot!” A man yelled. Kengo widened his eyes.

    “Oh no…It’s them! Get in the car!” The clerk yelled. Kengo grabbed some keys off a hanger in the basement and unlocked his car. Paul opened the front seat door and sat down, fastening his seatbelt. Kengo leaped into the driver’s seat, next to Paul and stuck the keys in, starting the car.

    Dawn opened the back door and sat down in the back of the car, locking the door. Kengo pressed a button on the front mirror and a large garage door opened, revealing the light.
    “This is a garage?” Dawn asked. Paul looked back at her.
    “Yep! Turns out to be!” He said as Kengo drove out of the garage and into the city.

    The men dropped into the garage and looked around. One of them looked out of it and saw a black car driving out.
    “Simon, they’ve escaped in a black car.” He said to a man in a gray jacket.
    “Then let’s follow them” Simon said, his eyes were piercing.
    “Yes sir!” The other man said.

    They raced out of the garage and around the row of stores, including the Candy Cove. They hopped into a beat-up red car and drove off, looking around for the black SUV.

    Dawn felt so comfortable in the leather seats. She then twisted herself to look behind the car and then shrieked. Kengo swerved, almost crashing into a truck.
    “Dawn! What the hell is wrong with you?! You almost made us crash!” Paul spat in his usual derisive way.
    “I’m sorry! But they’re chasing us!” She said frantically. Paul looked behind him and widened his eyes.

    “Faster Kengo!” He said. Kengo nodded and sped up a bit. Dawn looked back worriedly. Will they catch us? She thought. She closed her eyes with hope and fear.

    Wow! I thought I'd never finish it! Thank you anybody who read. I hope you all liked it! The third chapter'll take long because I'll be gone for a few days! The third chapter is yet to come!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Inside America's closet.
    Posts
    2,176

    Default

    Mm, in dialouge sentences, I said spaces..*sigh*

    Well, it's okay. But remember the dialouge spaces, please...^_^;

    But nice chappies though, and Kengo and Paul are friends? He also has a SUV? OMG.



    renami ++ says:
    JULIAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    renami ++ says:
    WILL YOU MARRY ME
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    UM KAY I'LL MARRY YOU
    Dynamite Shark Princess says:
    ILU
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    WAIT WTF I HAVE A LOT OF ADMIRERS

  15. #15
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    Dec 2006
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    Philippines
    Posts
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    Wah! You didn't PM me for this! But the story was still nice! I was full of suspense when Paul took out a gun. Where'd he get the gun in the first place?
        Spoiler:- Sig:

  16. #16

    Default

    Eek! I forgot! Sorry! '^ ^ Thanks though! And I forgot to PM you because my dad needed the computer, plus I fell asleep. Sorry!

  17. #17
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    America
    Posts
    32

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    Wow! Good ol' Kengo shows up! ^^ This is a really great story. I'd just work on the double spacing and paragraphs, but that's it. I wonder if they'll escape? I have a feeling that Dawn's going to get kidnapped...


    Read my first fan fic! Please R&R!

    Dawn's Rising Sun

    [~littledreamindawn~]

  18. #18

    Default

    Thank you ^_^! I did need Kengo in a way!

  19. #19

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    Okay! The third chapter is up! Sorry it took so long, I had a major writer's block. Anyways I hope you like this chapter! Please R & R!


    Guns n’ Roses



    Chapter 3



    The SUV swerved and spun, trying to get away from the rusty red car. Kengo’s driving wasn’t all the best but they couldn’t stop now. Dawn held onto the seat tightly, hoping they wouldn’t die or crash. She then looked behind her and widened her eyes.

    “Paul! Kengo! We have a chance to lose them! There’s a huge traffic jam of cars behind us and they‘re caught in the middle.” She said. Paul nodded to Kengo and the brown haired boy drove off quickly right when the red light turned green. Dawn looked at the sky. It was dark out now. She then turned behind them and sighed with relief.

    “They’re gone.” She said, taking her beanie and wiping it on her forehead wearily. Kengo and Paul sighed, relieved that a weight was lifted.

    Kengo drove back to Candy Cove tiredly. He parked it in the small parking lot in front of a shop called “Mr. Woody’s Furniture Shop”. The three got out of the car tiredly, Paul’s look was as cranky as usual.
    “Thanks Kengo. I don’t think we’d have ever been able to escape without you.” Paul wheezed. Kengo smiled.

    “No problem buddy. Anything for my pal and his girlfriend!” He grinned.
    “Okay, for the last damn time! Dawn is my acquaintance, not my girlfriend!” He snapped. Kengo laughed.

    “Yeah yeah. Here.” Kengo tossed the keys to the SUV over to Paul. The lavender haired boy caught them and widened his eyes.
    “Kengo are you sure-”

    “You can borrow her. Just don’t kill her.” Kengo smiled. He then slapped Paul on the back.

    “Alright bud, I gotta close the shop down and get home. Would you like to stay at my house?” He asked. Dawn smiled and shook her head.
    “Thank you for the offer, but we’d endanger your home if we came.” She said. Paul nodded.
    “I’ll see you later, thanks for the car. I’ll take good care of it.” He said.

    “Alright then, you two are welcome anytime though, kay? Thanks Paul. See ya!” Kengo said and walked back into Candy Cove. Dawn yawned tiredly.
    “Where are we going to stay?” She asked.

    “There’s a hotel nearby. I can use my card to get a room.” He said wearily. Dawn frowned.
    “You have a card?” She asked folding her arms.

    “It’s a long story.” He said as he walked into the SUV. He opened the door and sat down in the driver’s seat. Dawn opened the door and sat beside him tiredly. She then looked up.

    “You know how to drive?” She asked. Paul nodded.

    “I’m better than Kengo.” He smirked. Dawn shook her head. Paul started the car and drove away from the Candy Cove.

    Dawn opened her eyes wearily when she felt someone nudging her.
    “Hey, Dawn we’re here.” He said. Dawn lifted her head.

    “That was a long drive…” She yawned. Dawn unlocked her seatbelt and opened the car door, stepping out. Paul did the same and looked up at the hotel.

    “The Moonlight Inn, a famous hotel.” Paul said. Dawn stepped forward and looked up.
    “It’s really nice.” She said. The two slowly walked inside. Paul walked over to the counter. A young girl sat at the counter tiredly, her eyelids kept drooping. She had bright red hair and wore a nametag that said ‘Tina’

    “What can I do for you two?” She asked, more of a groan. Paul reached into his pocket, took a brown wallet out, and took a credit card out of it.
    “We’d like two rooms please.” He said holding out the card to her.

    “I’m sorry, all but one of our rooms are booked. The room has two beds though.” She yawned. Paul widened his eyes.

    “Um, you sure there aren’t two rooms?” He asked. The woman sighed.
    “Sir I already told you we have one room left.” She sounded irritated. Paul sighed.

    “Okay, fine.” He scoffed. He gave her the card and looked at Dawn who looked like she was about to vomit.
    “This sucks…” She said. Paul looked up.

    “Shoot me.” He closed his eyes.

    After Dawn and Paul received the key to their room, the walked over to the elevators. The two stepped in and looked away from each other.
    “Okay, she said there were two beds so nothing’s going to happen.” He said glancing at her.

    “Good.” Dawn sighed. As soon as the elevator doors opened, they stepped out and looked around for room 307.

    Paul looked around and stopped at a door with the numbers ‘307’ in a golden color. Dawn took out the key and unlocked it, opening up to a beautiful room. It had two white beds and a nightstand in the middle, it had a television in front of them, and a closed door to the bathroom. It also had a desk and two chairs that were large. Dawn stepped inside with wide eyes while Paul just stomped in.

    “I hate this. Whoever took that other room…I hate them” He muttered angrily. Dawn frowned at his annoyance.

    “Well you might as well enjoy your stay. This hotel’s beautiful.” Dawn exclaimed, putting her bag down. Paul snorted and walked over to his bed.
    “Don’t you dare tell Kengo that this happened. He’ll never let me forget it.” He closed his eyes with annoyance. Dawn sighed and sat down on the second bed.

    “Paul can I ask you something?”

    “What?”

    “Why…Did you save me…?” She asked looking down. Paul didn’t answer for awhile. He just sat very still.

    “I’m waiting for an answer.” Dawn urged.

    “Why do you wanna know? I just rescued you from being turned in to psychopath. Why question me and not thank me?’ He asked. Dawn frowned.

    "Why dont you answer my question!?” She complained. Paul got under the blankets and sheets in his bed.

    “Just go to sleep!” He snapped. He turned away from her and closed his eyes. Dawn still frowned at him but then sighed, knowing he wouldn’t say a thing. She got under her covers and closed her eyes, wondering about tomorrow.

    Paul’s eyes opened. He knew he couldn’t hide the truth. He narrowed his eyes and then turned around, looking up. Dawn…Millie…He thought. Memories flooded into his mind.


    ~Flashback~

    “Hi Paul!” A little girl’s voice sounded. Five year-old Paul turned around and smiled brightly.
    “Hi Millie!” He exclaimed. He smiled at the blue haired girl. Today she was wearing a pretty pink dress and her hair was tied up in a pony tail. The lavender haired boy smiled.
    “Is that a new dress?” He asked running up to her. Millie nodded.

    “Yep! Mommy bought it for me yesterday!” She smiled. Paul smiled.

    “You wanna play catch?” He asked. Millie nodded.

    “Let’s go get the ball from you house!” She said running towards a large white mansion. Paul nodded and ran after her.
    After the two got the ball, they began to start playing for awhile.

    “Over here Millie!” Paul called. Millie laughed and threw the blue ball to Paul. Paul leaped up and caught it. He then was about to throw it to Millie but he then saw a black car racing inside of the neighborhood. He stopped and stared. There wasn’t a black car in that neighborhood at all. Visitors were only aloud if someone invited them. Everyone was gone for the summer except for Paul and Millie’s families. Paul grabbed Millie’s hand and pulled her away towards the house.
    “Paul what’s wrong?” She asked worriedly.

    “There are unfamiliar people here! Mom told me to walk away from strangers.” He said as he kept pulling her. Millie nodded and followed him. The black car drove up near them and a man stared at the children. A loud bang sounded from the car and Millie gasped.

    “Paul…” She choked and closed her eyes. She fell to the ground and dark red blood leaked out from her side. Paul widened his eyes and shrieked.
    “Millie!!!!!!” He cried he dropped to the ground beside her and shook her like crazy. The black car drove away fast. Tears ran down Paul’s face as he desperately shook his best friend. His parents and Millie’s parents darted outside and widened their eyes.

    “Millie! My dear Millie!!!!” The deceased girl’s mother cried dropping to the ground and picking her daughter up. Paul dropped his face into his hands. Paul’s mother wrapped her arms around him.

    “Paul! What happened?!” She asked frantically. Paul looked at his mother with grief-stricken eyes.

    “A b-black car! Came by!!! And I….pulled Millie towards the house…She then…” Paul trailed off and buried himself into his mother’s arms.

    A week after Millie’s devastating death, a funeral was held. Paul walked up to her grave and kneeled down, his eyes red-rimmed. He put three red roses down and looked at them.

    “The first rose is you Millie. I thought you were the most prettiest girl in the world. I liked you more than any girl. The second rose is me. You were my best friend and I was yours. We were like two roses in a vase. And the third rose will reveal itself later on. I don‘t know what it stands for.” He said sadly.

    “Paul! Come on!” The lavender haired boy looked up as his mother called him. He then quickly turned back to Millie’s grave.

    “Bye, best friend.” He said. He kissed the first and third rose and set it down on top of her grave. He then got up and ran over to his mother, looking back at her grave.

    Later after Millie’s death, Paul’s heart began to grow cold and serious. He became friends with Kengo Ferset, but yet that didn’t change him a bit. The boy had come to hate many things and was always cooped up at home ever since the tragic accident.

    ~End of Flashback~

    Paul looked over at Dawn. Maybe she’s the third rose…He thought. He then frowned. Argh! What’re you thinking Paul? She’s just an ordinary girl who happens to look like her…He said. He then closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

    “Paul…Paul…Paul!” A girl’s voice sounded. The boy groaned and then his mind alarmed. He jerked awake.

    “Millie!?” He exclaimed. Dawn looked at him blankly.

    “Millie? Who’s that?” She asked. Paul looked up at her and then narrowed his eyes. It was only Dawn.

    “We got through one night here.” She said.

    “What?”

    “Ugh! Staying in the same hotel room!” She glared at him.

    “Oh yeah…” He trailed off.

    “Well hurry up. I want to collect some information.” She said. Paul remembered that the two agreed to help each other find out if Randy did do bad crimes. He quickly got out of his bed and slipped on his dark blue jacket. He didn’t notice that the blue haired girl was running towards him. Paul walked up quickly and bumped into her. Dawn was about to fall back but Paul caught her in time. He pulled her up and let go of her, walking over to the door.

    “You’re clumsy.” He said as he opened it. Dawn glared at him but as soon as he looked away, her face turned pink.
    After they waked out of the hotel, Paul took out the driver’s keys and unlocked the car, though he was still deep in his thoughts. As Dawn sat down inside looked out the window. Who’s Millie? She thought. Paul yawned and started up the car, backing out of the parking lot.

    “Paul?”

    “What?”

    “Who’s Millie?” Dawn asked. Paul closed his eyes and then opened them.
    “A childhood friend. She’s gone now.” He said as he stopped.

    “Did she move away from your home?” Dawn asked. Paul didn’t answer, he just kept driving and driving. Dawn looked down.

    “I know the perfect place to find evidence. My dad took me there to get something.” He said, his eyes were sharp.

    “What is it?” She asked looking out the window.

    “Well…It’s a bar.” He said.

    “Your father took you to a bar when you were young?” She asked.

    “Hey, you’re step-father drank and did bad things to you.” He snapped. Dawn nodded, it was true.

    It was a long time now. The two had been on the road for a while. Paul drove into a parking lot in front of a small building.

    “We’re here.” He said, looking up. Dawn looked up as well.

    “The Green Bar.” She said as she read the words. Paul nodded and took off his seatbelt, opened the car door, and jumped out.

    “C’mon Dawn.” He said as he walked over to the sidewalk. The girl took off her seatbelt and stepped out of the car. She ran over to Paul and stayed close to him, keeping her guard up if anyone came. As they walked in, Dawn widened her blue eyes. It was also a club. Men were drunk on the floor and tables, a lot of people were smoking, guys were arm wrestling, and people kept drinking. Dawn looked down and saw a man passed out on the floor right next to her. She backed up closer to Paul and stayed by him. People eyes her as she followed Paul, it gave her a sick feeling. Paul kept walking and then stopped.

    “Hey Jumper! Two colas please!” Paul called as soon as they reached the counter. A muscular man with many tattoos came up. In his mouth was a large cigar. He smiled at Paul.

    “Hey Paul! Long time no see. How’s yer father?” He asked. Paul grinned.

    “Just fine. It’s good to see you too. This is Dawn.” He said. Dawn smiled.

    “Hello.” She said. The bartender laughed.

    “Paul, you never told me that you had yerself a girlfriend.” He smiled. Dawn blushed.

    “Nah. She’s not my girlfriend. We’re just trying to find solve something,” He said, “And we need you help.” Jumper passed them two colas.
    “Whaddya need sport?” He asked.

    “Do you know anything about Randy Henshaw?” Paul asked. He then leaned towards him.

    “We’re trying to find evidence and see if he really did bad things.” The bartender put his hand on his forehead. He then leaned forward towards them.

    “Don’t tell anyone I told you this. He‘ll hunt me down. I‘ll only tell you guys about this because if it‘s evidence to get him arrested, I‘ll do anything. Months ago, he came into the club with a bleeding woman, but it wasn‘t the woman‘s blood. We didn‘t see a single scratch on her. He just told us that he’d shoot us if we didn’t let them hide here and if we contacted the police, so we let him and didn‘t call the police. Randy did have a gun. Later on, he told us it was long gone, but I knew he hid it somewhere. Randy wasn’t a truthful or honest person. That’s all I know.” He said.

    “Who was the woman?” Dawn asked.

    “We have no clue.” The bartender said, shaking his head sadly.

    “I’m sorry.” Paul got up.

    “Thanks for the info Jumper. We best be on our way. He hid the gun right?” He asked.

    “I don’t know for sure, but it’s likely. If he did hide it, it would’ve been in a place no one would have a clue to look.” He said.

    “Thanks Jumper. C’mon Dawn.” Paul said, walking away and waving to the bartender. Dawn followed. She looked down, knowing that this was an excellent piece of information. As soon as Dawn opened the entrance door, someone pulled her outside forcefully.

    “Ow! Hey what-” Dawn stopped and widened her eyes.

    “We got her Simon.” A boy dressed in gray said. Paul ran outside. He widened his eyes.

    “Dawn!”

    “Let go of me!” She shrieked as a boy in black grabbed her arm.

    “Take care of him Pete!” The boy in black said as he pulled Dawn to a black car. The boy in gray nodded and pushed his arm forward towards Paul. Paul stopped his punch and pushed him back, making him bump into the man in black. The man let go of Dawn instantly. Paul grabbed the girl and pushed her into the SUV, getting inside as well. The two men got up and were just about to run over to the SUV, but Paul drove away in time.

    As soon as they were far away from the club, Dawn looked over at Paul.
    “Thanks…again.” She looked down.

    “I feel really bad about putting you into so much trouble…” She said. Paul snorted.

    “I like action. So stop sulking Millie.” He said.

    “Who’s Millie and why do you keep calling me that?” She asked.

    “Sorry, I meant Dawn.” He muttered. Dawn frowned.

    “Tell me who Millie really is.” She said.

    “I already told you, she’s a childhood friend.” Paul replied. Dawn sighed.
    “Never mind.”

    Later on, Dawn and Paul had drove around town, asking everyone if they knew about Randy Henshaw but most of them were clueless. One grown cried at the name Randy, saying that it was the name of his grown up son. Dawn and Paul had to stay longer at their house to hear stories of their son’s childhood. It was now 9:33 at night and they had just driven back to the hotel.

    “Oh…I’m so tired. I knew we shouldn’t have questioned that couple…” Paul moaned as he took off his seatbelt. Dawn scowled at him.

    “Well it was worth a try. I didn’t know that they’d go on and on about their son.” She yawned. She and Paul stepped out of the car and were just about to walk into the hotel.

    “Stop right there.” A rasping voice sounded. Dawn looked up and gasped. Four men in gray looked at them with glazed eyes.

    “The girl’s coming with us.” One said sharply. Paul pushed Dawn behind him.

    “Actually she isn’t. Now move.” He said. The guy pushed him back.

    “We asked for the girl.” He said looking into Paul’s eyes. Dawn stepped back with fearful eyes. Paul…

    ~End of Chapter 3~

    I hope you all liked it!

  20. #20
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    America
    Posts
    32

    Default

    Great chapter! I liked how you had the flashback with Paul's friend Millie, but it's also sad how she died. It's also kind of sad, because one of the reasons Paul is protecting Dawn is because she looks like Millie. I hope he sees her for her own person, and not as a person who looks like Millie. But great chapter! I loved it! It was a good length, and it was fun to read! ^^


    Read my first fan fic! Please R&R!

    Dawn's Rising Sun

    [~littledreamindawn~]

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Inside America's closet.
    Posts
    2,176

    Default

    Nice! I really liked the story so far! And Millie....Millie's...dead...yay! No more distruptions!

    Anyways, some typos here, but I think it was okay.XD



    renami ++ says:
    JULIAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    renami ++ says:
    WILL YOU MARRY ME
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    UM KAY I'LL MARRY YOU
    Dynamite Shark Princess says:
    ILU
    on c l o u d nine ? says:
    WAIT WTF I HAVE A LOT OF ADMIRERS

  22. #22

    Default

    Thank you so much!!! ^^ I really can't wait for the new chapter in Dawn's Rising Sun! Thank you all!!
    Last edited by Whitefire2000; 6th July 2007 at 3:34 PM.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    8

    Default

    is there going to be a fight COOL PLEASE UPDATE SOON please put me on your pm list please...............ill give you a cookie *holds up cookie* it double chocolate clip
    is there another way to live cause its the only way to die

  24. #24

    Default

    Thank you Hoenngirl. ^^ I appreciate your comment and the cookie. *Takes cookie* Thank you, I'll put you on my PM list, but the next chapter will take a little long for me to update.
    Last edited by Whitefire2000; 23rd July 2007 at 5:46 PM.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    8

    Default

    YAY THANK YOU SO MUCH *hugs*
    is there another way to live cause its the only way to die

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