Aha! First story posted on internet! Well, it's prominently a Jovianshipping (yayz) romance/comedy but also contains more Mars ships than you can shake a stick at (including MarsxGardenia and Infrared, notably, and now with 100% more Betelgeuse!), thus, if Mars and girls/older men does not appeal to you, just skip sections about Mars' many crushes. It also contains youngish people doing dirtyish things in odd locations, but that's a minimal part of the story [but there enough to cause the occasional R-ish chapter], and only in like, Mars chapters. Thus the rest will be PG to PG-13. If you find major errors in grammar please point them out, but I'm pretty grammar strict and so there shouldn't be more than mebbe one per chapter, hopefully. Please review and tell me how you like it and what's wrong with it, like length, pacing, OOCness, etc.... and trust me it'll be long and hilarious and will get better... right now the stage isn't exactly set and the characters' pasts are yet to be revealed, so bear with me. And now I welcome you to mah story about the problematic lives of the rather odd commanders of Team Galactic... and of course Cyrus and the grunts, too. And yes, pun intended in the title. Hahaha, this is Pokemon. Oh, and don't mind the bleeping-out of some words... that wasn't me, but the internet. *shakes fist* Rar.
Prolouge (a midget) [then ze first chapter, and don't worry, all ze hazy stuff will be revealed later! stay tuned in suspense... and yeah they get longer and more back into character soon]:
All was normal at the Team Galactic Headquarters. The grunts were gaming on their Gameboys and PSPs, the scientists were poking and prodding various limbs of various creatures, Cyrus was emotionally void and sat in his lonely office of black walls and black furniture reflecting on his black life, Mars was looking at naughty things on the Internet and absentmindedly ordering the chefs around, and Jupiter was taking an hour-long shower.
All would have been normal if it wasn’t for Saturn. The sole male commander, who usually was attempting to solve complex math problems at the morning hour, was currently hiding in the closet in Jupiter’s bathroom.
And of course, she didn’t know he had snuck in before the late-rising commander awoke.
Saturn had been acting rather oddly lately, namely around the more attractive fellow commander of his. Hiding in her closet and spying in on her while she was taking a shower was the strangest thing he’d done yet.
Namely since the two couldn’t stand each other.
For some reason never disclosed to the confused Mars, the pair had never gotten along and always insulted each other whenever possible. They were both intelligent and hot but took every opportunity to bring the other down.
Lately though, the early-twenties male commander had been showing a strange obsession with the female commander of the same age. Mars was a few years older than them, and Cyrus was about ten years older than her.
Thus, Saturn was spying in on a clueless Jupiter, who was putting on quite a show for him.
Until she got out and headed right for his hiding spot.
He tried to move to the farthest corner of her huge closet and hide behind some long dresses of hers, but it was all in vain. She opened the door, turned the light on to look for clothes and her towel, saw his feet and screamed.
Chapter One - Mars Visits the Hospital
Later that afternoon, the red-headed commander drove her red T-Bird to the hospital the battered, bruised and bleeding Saturn resided at. She bore flowers and cards from almost all the members. The ‘almost’ was Cyrus, who didn’t believe in hospitals, and Mars, who was going to personally deliver her get-well-soon message. Yes, even Jupiter had sent something.
She wound her way around the white corridors till she found the room of her male companion and entered with her Pokemon, carting gifts for the injured man.
“Is she still angry?” he coughed out from a bitten, sore jugular.
“Yeah. I don’t know WHAT you were thinking being a peeping tom. And JUPITER, of all people! She did write you a card, though, but I don’t know what it says. All the grunts and scientists did too, and the girls sent you flowers. I think they like you…” Mars trailed off, holding up bouquets of roses from the female Galactic members who were enthralled with their handsome commander.
Poor Mars was the rejected commander. All the girls liked Saturn and all the guys liked Jupiter. And they liked nobody.
“I know exactly what I was thinking. I ain’t getting any younger, I’m a virgin, and she’s hot. She’s the only decent girl on this team, everyone else is flat… no offense, Mars,” he grumbled before realizing he had just insulted the hot-headed female.
Mars was shocked. Not that he had just called her ugly, but that he had called Jupiter pretty and basically implied he wanted to screw her. “Saturn… I thought you hated her! What made you change your mind?” she curiously asked, looking at him.
“She’s always like right there… all hot and virginy and attitudinal. And so I get to thinking about her in a swimsuit, and then nothing, and then…” he began before she cut him off.
“I DON’T need to know that! Great you have wet dreams about someone who hates you, Saturn. You’ll have a hard time convincing her to love you back,” she commented knowingly.
“I don’t love her. I just need a woman,” he bluntly stated as Mars smacked her face.
“Thaaaat… won’t fly with her. She’s feeling the internal clock, but she’s a girl. And girls need actual emotional relationships, unlike you guys. Unless they’re *****s. But they’re really good in bed. And that’s why I like girls, because men are pigs,” Mars replied as Saturn rolled his eyes.
“I know, I don’t care why the crap you like stinkin’ girls.”
“If they stink then why do you want Jupiter?”
“Because she’s a woman.”
Mars grunted at his owning her. Mars 0, Saturn 2, Jupiter 1.
“Well, read these stupid cards everyone wrote you. I’m gonna go ask the doc when you can come back,” she ordered and left.
Saturn picked up Jupiter’s card first and read it.
You make me very angry. And that is why you’re in the hospital because I beat the tar out of you for spying in on me. I am flattered you think I’m hot and wanted to catch a glimpse. Once you’re back I’ll find you… I’ve got something for you.
He looked over at the silhouette of Mars in the doorway talking to a doctor and smirked.
“You’re just jealous I like her, sucker.”