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Thread: Contestshipping-The Beginning of the Johto Grand Festival!

  1. #1
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    Default Contestshipping-The Beginning of the Johto Grand Festival!

    this is my first time postin a fanfic ever n it about contestshipping may n drew. the summary just as the title says. this is happennin in johto after may left ash n brock to compete in contest in johto. the first paragraph is like a prologue i think. i hope it good n i think the rating is PG (if u think the rating differ i change it) the rating might change to PG13 for some chapters (which i havent quite write any yet)


    The Beginning of the Johto Grand Festival!
    By Syushuu (Kelly Truong)

    Chapter 1-The Journey Awaits! (PG)

    As the boat left, Ash, Brock, and their pokémon waved goodbye to their friends, May and Max. May, who is training to be the top coordinator, is on her way to her new journey in the Johto Region. While traveling with Ash in the Hoenn Region, May have been competing in various Pokémon Contests. She won five ribbons and gained access to the Hoenn Grand Festival. She defeated Harley and he was placed in the Top 16. May was defeated by her rival, Drew, and was placed in the Top 8. Drew went to the semifinal and was defeated by Robert, who won the Hoenn Grand Festival. After Hoenn, May followed her companions in the Kanto Region for Ash’s Battle Frontier Symbols. While competing in Kanto, she manages to win five ribbons and entered the Kanto Grand Festival. There, she again defeated Harley and placed him in the Top 16. After a fierce battle against Drew, May won and went to the semifinal against Solidad, a rival of Drew‘s and hers. She was however defeated by Solidad, who won the Kanto Grand Festival. Seeming to be taking it pretty hard, Drew and Harley later meet up with May again unexpectedly to somehow cheer her up. Drew later asked May for a battle and she was defeated by Drew‘s Roselia and his newly capture Butterfree. May realizes that she need to find her own contest style and told Drew that she has something to work on to be a better coordinator. Drew later tells her that he is going to Johto to compete, and so is Solidad and Harley. He expect the next time they meet, he would like to see her new contest style. Because of the encounter with Drew, May decided to head to Johto on her own, while Ash and Brock leave for Sinnoh and Max for home.

    “Dear passenger, we will be arriving in Hoenn in about thirty minutes or so. Please enjoy the ride until then. That is all,” an announcer said over the intercom.

    “So what are you planning to do when we get home, sis?” asked Max, sitting across May at one of the table in the lobby of the boat.

    “Well, Max. I was planning to tell mom and dad that I would be heading to Johto. After that, I guess I should pack,” answer May, looking a bit daze.

    She was remembering the time she started her pokémon journey. She never really liked pokémon. She just used it as an excuse to travel. Now she loves them and wanted to compete with them in contests. Remembering the time she travel with Ash and Brock, and of course her brother, Max, was always exciting. She made many friends and rivals along the way. She knows that traveling alone is going to be lonely, but once she get to Johto, Drew, Solidad, and possibly Harley, is waiting for her.

    ‘Maybe it won’t turn out so bad,’ she sigh.

    “May!“ shouted her brother for the umpteenth time.

    “Huh?” snapped out of her trance, “What is it, Max?”

    Looking annoyed, Max answer, “Let’s see. I called your name for about two minutes already, but you just look as if you been daydreaming or something! Mind telling me what’s wrong.”

    “To tell you the truth, I’m not sure,” looking disappointed. “I guess I’m a little worry when I get to Johto.”

    “How come?” Max asked getting ready to tease her about the answer she replies.

    “When I get to Johto, I won’t have you, Ash, or Brock around. I’m not even sure if I can travel alone. This will be my first time remember. But I know Drew will be there. And Solidad and Harley too,” May said sighing again.

    Teasing, Max said, “Oh, I get it. You don’t know what to do or say if you happen to run into your boyfriend . Am I right, May?”

    Blushing madly, May started fidgeting.

    “W-What?! Who said Drew was my boyfriend?! W-We’re just rivals! T-That‘s all, isn‘t it?!”

    “So, it was Drew. Never would have guess,” Max started giggling.

    Exploding with fury, May stood up from her seat and shouted, “W-WHAT?!”

    All the passengers in the area looked at May. She suddenly realize they were staring at her and quietly sat down, sweat dropping.

    “I never said it was Drew. All I said was your boyfriend. I never thought you would start getting all jumpy,” Max said while trying to hold back a laughter.

    “For your information, Max, I don’t have a boyfriend…yet. And if I were to have one, it would definitely not be Drew,” May said crossing her arms pouting and looking a different direction than her brother.

    “Yeah, sure. If you say so. However, you have to admit, you seem pretty cheerful than usual when Drew around. You sure you don’t have a crush on him or something,” Max said getting ready to cover his head from his sister at anytime just in case.

    “There is no way I would ever like him. He is arrogant and cocky and always comment on how badly I am as a coordinator. He is no prince charming that for sure. I don’t see what those fan girls see in him that so irresistible,” May said still pouting.

    Remembering the time Brianna asked her a similar question whether or not she likes Drew, she started to blush and her words stumble. Drew would usually gave roses to her, but they were meant for Beautifly at first. Later he told her that the roses were meant for something like that. Suddenly her face got red again from remembering that day with the whole Brianna incident.

    “Why is your face red?” Max asked looking up at May. Can‘t help but nag his sister he said, “Is it because you were thinking about the time you and Drew were together? Or maybe the roses he always give you? Could it be the time you two were alone? Or maybe it was when you stare into his eyes?”

    Hearing that, May was about to pound her know-it-all brother to pieces, but there was a ding and the captain’s voice was on the intercom.

    “We have finally arrive in Hoenn. Please gather all of your belongings and have a nice day.”

    “You’re lucky today, you know that, Max,” May said as she stomped away furiously.

    The passengers who saw the whole incident didn’t exactly wanted to be on her bad side. They didn’t want to get in the way of the sibling’s fight either and hope things turn out okay for Max.

    ‘Who does Max thinks he is anyway? Me and Drew? We’re just rivals,’ May thought boarding off the boat, ‘but what if there’s something more than us being rivals? And what about the roses? What do they really meant? A gesture?’ May thoughts were confuse.

    “May! Wait for me!” yelled Max from behind. “Don’t leave me behind, sis!”

    ‘What he want now?’ May thought and turn around waiting for him to catch up. “Oh, well.”

    “What took you so long anyway, Max,” May said being impatient. “Let’s hurry home before its dark or mom will get worry.”

    “Okay! Let’s go!” Max said, anxious to get home. “I can’t wait to see mom and dad. And the pokémons too. I wonder what for dinner tonight, huh, May?”

    “I bet she will have a wonderfully nice dinner ready for us when we get home. I can’t wait! Let‘s hurry home, Max!” May said as they both race home to Petalburg.

    end of chapter 1

    Syushuu: what do ya think? it not to short is it?
    Last edited by Syushuu; 28th June 2007 at 9:08 PM.
    credit: pictures on banner belongs to teppo
    click here to view my contestshipping amv on youtube http://www.youtube.com/profile_video...ContestSyushuu
    click here to view my first fanfic Contestshipping-The Beginning of the Johto Grand Festival http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...19#post6437419

  2. #2
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    Nice story! And the plural form of Pokemon is Pokemon (long e) not Pokemons.
    Add me to your PM list and good luck!
        Spoiler:- Sig:

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    And the plural form of Pokemon is Pokemon (long e) not Pokemons
    i knoe. it just i want to make the difference in the spelling.

    thank u for telling me i was a nice story! i was about to delete it cause nobody seem to comment on how was it and u can be on my first PM list!

    btw i know how to make a PM list, but does it mean i have to email u or message u on serebii when i update a story? (sry first time posting my fanfic)

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    Last edited by Syushuu; 30th June 2007 at 3:50 PM. Reason: spelling error
    credit: pictures on banner belongs to teppo
    click here to view my contestshipping amv on youtube http://www.youtube.com/profile_video...ContestSyushuu
    click here to view my first fanfic Contestshipping-The Beginning of the Johto Grand Festival http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...19#post6437419

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    Red face Sigh...

    Well...it has potential, I'll give it that. However you need to use the right tense or it'll drive readers crazy! Also you could use more descriptions and a bit more length, oh and proofread read a it a couple times so you find annoying mistakes like this:

    ‘What he want now?’ May thought and turn around waiting for him to catch up. “Oh, well.”

    Other than those "minor" problems it's okay. I look forward the next chapter. Oh yeah please put me on the PM list, thanks in advance.

    Sincerely,
    Absol Master

    P.S. Put an Absol in there somewhere and I'll give you a cookie!
    -I am a proud Christian and member of Christian Alliance-


    Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints-Ephesians 6:18

    Got a prayer request? Just PM me!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Absol Master View Post
    Well...it has potential, I'll give it that. However you need to use the right tense or it'll drive readers crazy! Also you could use more descriptions and a bit more length, oh and proofread read a it a couple times so you find annoying mistakes like this:

    ‘What he want now?’ May thought and turn around waiting for him to catch up. “Oh, well.”
    im sry if it is only 'potential' n bout the tenses, it just somehow sound ok to me when i tried to read it aloud to myself trust me, i tried alot of proofreadin before i post it. n the part with more description. yea...it hard to say it but i just sometimes imagined in my head so easily

    im am goin to try harder for the next chapters. i just finish chapter 2 but i think i should add more descritption before i post it

    Quote Originally Posted by Absol Master View Post
    P.S. Put an Absol in there somewhere and I'll give you a cookie!
    here ur absol

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    click here to view my first fanfic Contestshipping-The Beginning of the Johto Grand Festival http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...19#post6437419

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    im sry to those who are waitin for drew to show up yet. he gonna show up in chapter 4


    Chapter 2-Sundae Deluxe To Go! (PG)

    It was still daytime when May and Max arrive in Petalburg. Tired from racing all the way, they decided to stop and rest by a ice cream shop that have just open before heading home.

    “Why don’t we rest at this ice cream shop, Max,” May said as she walk past the sliding door.

    “Let order something while we’re here,” Max said as he followed May into the ice cream shop.

    The ice cream shop was small and fill with round tables. There are two to four chair at each table and there are some parents with their kids enjoying their sweets. Everything here was new and seem to be quiet but pretty cheerful.

    “W-Welcome. I will be your w-waitress today. M-May I get you two anything?” a waitress came by to take their orders as May and Max sat at a table nearest to the window. She was kind of young with a nervous expression on her face. Guessing that the place was newly open, this must be her first time working as a waitress.

    “I want chocolate,” Max said happily.

    “Okay. One chocolate ice cream for Max and I have a double scoop of strawberry with one scoop of vanilla to the side and chocolate dip banana sundae, please. Oh, with a cherry on top too, please,” May order without thinking about how much she be consuming.

    “Is that all, kids?” It took the waitress a while to write May’s sundae down but she got it.

    “Yep. Thank you,” both Max and May said in unison.

    “So…” Max was trying to start a conversation.

    “So, what?” May looked at Max if he has something to say to her.

    “Are you alright? The only reason you would order something like a sundae was to get your mind off something else. I know you, May. Is it about something I said when we were still on the boat? I’m sorry if it is May,” Max apologize with a bit of worry in his voice.

    “No, Max. No. It not your fault or anything. I just feel like ordering a sundae. It been a long time since I had one,” May said truthfully while smiling at her brother.

    “Okay, May,” Max face was starting to brighten up. “Whatever you say.”

    As they were resting at a table waiting for their orders, May notice a poster for an upcoming Pokémon Contest here in Petalburg City. It was hanging on the wall with a picture of little kids and their pokémon competing.

    “Look, Max,” May said pointing to the poster. “There’s going to be an unofficial contest in two hours at the park today.”

    “You should enter, May. It will be good practice for your pokémon before you head to Johto,” Max said looking to where May was pointing.

    “Yeah. I’m going to enter and win!” May said as she got up and rushed out the door.

    “May! Where are you going?!” Max yell just before she stepped out the sliding doors.

    “I’m just going to the park of course.” May said turning to Max.

    “Don’t you want your sundae?” Max asked curiously as the waitress came by and gave Max his ice cream and May her sundae.

    “Oh, right. I almost forgot,” May sweat dropped and walked back to the table.

    “Let take our time and enjoy the sundae, May,” Max said. “Besides. We have to get home first and the contest doesn’t start until two hours.”

    “Yeah. You’re right. I guess we should be taking our time,” May said putting a spoonful of her ice cream sundae into her mouth.

    After Max and May finish their desserts, they paid the waitress and left the ice cream shop. It wasn’t really a long walk to get home. It only took about thirty minute to eat their ice creams and thirty minute to walk home. There was about an hour left before the contest start and May was really excited.

    ‘I wonder which pokémon I should use. Hmmm,” May thought as she continue walking home with Max with her finger to her chin. “I know! I use Squirtle for the appeals and Munchlax for the battle. This is going to be great!’

    “Look! We’re home, May,” Max said as he ran past the gate to the door and entered their home.

    “Welcome home, sweeties. I didn’t expect you to be till dinner,” Caroline walked over to greet them with a smile as they enter.

    “We know, mom. May, at first decided to run all the way home without stopping,” Max said tiredly.

    “Hey! We did stop by the ice cream shop for a rest you know,” May said looking at May with a death look.

    “True,” Max said defeated but with sarcasm.

    They were both having a staring contest, while Caroline just stood there smiling, feeling the tense atmosphere between the two. She was glad they were home because it was getting lonely at home from time to time.

    “My, it’s good to have the both of you home,” she interrupted. “It was getting to quiet in the house lately. And with them having a brother and sister moment like that, it wasn’t helping the house. Why don’t you two sit down and rest while I get you two something to drink,” Caroline offer as she was about to leave for the kitchen.

    “No, thanks, mom. I need to head down to the park and compete in the today‘s contest. It going to start in about an hour,” May said getting ready to leave after she came in for a bit.

    “Okay, honey. Max and I will come by and cheer for you, May,” Caroline waved at her daughter at the door.

    “Thanks, mom! I’ll see you later,” May said as she left past the gate.

    Caroline looked at Max and said, “Wow. She sure is happy today, huh, Max. I wonder what‘s on her mind.”

    “Yeah. Sure,” responded Max as he headed to the kitchen and Caroline followed.

    May finally arrived at the park and signed up for the contest. She decided that she would use Squirtle for the appeals and Munchlax for the battle. There wasn’t much people at the contest because most of them were just kids from Petalburg of course. She slowly waited for the contest to start when she spotted her dad with Nurse Joy and some old guy with white hair and white mustache wearing a brown suit and hat.

    “Dad?” surprised, May ask, “What are you doing here?” as she walked up to them.

    “Oh. Hey, May. I didn’t think you and Max will be home till dinner. It great that you’re home early. Where is Max, by the way?” Norman asked.

    “He with mom right now. They be here soon to cheer for me,” May said casually.

    “Oh, I see,” Norman said smiling. “Well. Since you’re here, I guess you’ll be entering the contest. Am I right?”

    “Yep. How did you know dad?” May asked.

    “Well. I’ll be one of the judges. You see, this unofficial contest was held by some of the parents here in Petalburg for their kids who wants to be coordinators when they start their journey.”

    “Wow,” as May glanced at the kids around her with their parents.

    “Yes. What your dad here is saying is true. It a pleasure to meet you,” the old man wearing the suit bow politely while taking his hat off. “I am Mr. Poffer. I was the one who organize this contest for the children when I heard about it from the parents here. I will be one of the judges and host. Or what you young folk call, ‘M.C.’ You must be May, Norman’s daughter. I heard a lot about you from your father here.”

    “It also a pleasure to meet you too, sir,” May smile gesturing to the old man.

    “Hello, May,” Nurse Joy was happy to see her. “Its been awhile hasn’t it. How have you been?”

    “Great. Thanks, Nurse Joy. Are you going to be one of the judges also?” May asked.

    “That’s correct,” Nurse Joy replied. “I can’t wait to see you perform. Do your best,” as Nurse Joy and Mr. Poffin walked over to their position.

    “It about to start. I better be going too, May,” Norman said before he left. “Good luck.”

    As the contest was about to start, May saw her mom and Max waved at her in the audiences. She waved back and turned her attention to Mr. Poffin as he was about ready to begin the contest.

    “Ladies and gentlemen. May I have your attention, please,” as Mr. Poffin waited for them to settle down. “I am proud to be the ‘M.C.’ for this contest here. Remember it isn’t official but we all want you to do your best, future coordinators. The rules are simple as in a real contest.”

    As Mr. Poffin was explaining the rules, May thought to herself how Mr. Poffin is different than Lillian as the MC, ‘Mr.Poffin sure seem stiff as the MC. He’s nice and all but he should try to be more excited than a gentlemen in this situaition.’

    “Now lets introduce our judges,” Mr. Poffin said as he finish rumbling about the rules. “Over here you will see Norman, the Petalburg Gym Leader,” as Mr. Poffin walked over to Norman.

    “I grateful to be here right now as a judge for this contest,” as Norman finished and Mr. Poffin walked over to Nurse Joy.

    “Here we have Nurse Joy from the Petalburg City Pokémon Center,” Mr. Poffin introduced to the audiences.

    “It my pleasure to be here today,” as Nurse Joy got up from her seat and bowed to everyone.

    “And last of our judges is me, Mr. Poffin, also your ‘MC’.” as Mr. Poffin finished introducing all the judges and sat down with Norman and Nurse Joy. “Let the appeal rounds commence.”

    “Poochyena! Let’s go! Bite!”

    “Use your Pound, Whismur!”

    “Splash, Magikarp!”

    “Slakoth! Slash attack!”

    “Confusion, Ralts!

    “Next up, we have someone who’s not from Petalburg. Gave it up for Annie from Oldale Town,” Mr. Poffin said as he make her feel welcome.

    The light pink hair girl wearing a simple, sleeveless pink dress with matching pink shoes releases her pokémon, Skitty, from her pokéball, “Come on out my little kitty!”

    As the Skitty was released from its pokeball, it did a somersault and landed cutely on its tail.

    “Now, Skitty! Jump and use your Charm!” the girl cried.

    Skitty was in the air and used charm. Cute-shaped hearts were now surrounding Skitty. “Doubleslap!” its trainer yell.

    As Skitty hits the Charm’s hearts with its tail’s Doubleslap, the bigger hearts exploded into smaller hearts and Skitty landed on the ground as it finish its performance.

    “Wow. She was good,” May said aloud.

    “What a wonderful performance I ever seen since this contests started,” Mr. Poffin told Annie. “Let gave another applause for her and her Skitty.” The audiences were clapping loudly and cheering for her.

    “Our last contestant is someone you all know. If not, here is May, a coordinator who entered the Hoenn and Kanto Grand Festial,” Mr. Poffin said with enthusiasm. “I can’t wait to see what treat she got for us today.”

    “Come on out, Squirtle!” May yelled as she did a twirl releasing her pokémon.

    end of chapter 2

    Syushuu: what do u think now Absol Master? is it more length and description? i think im kinda gettin better little by little with the fic

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    Last edited by Syushuu; 1st July 2007 at 9:54 PM.
    credit: pictures on banner belongs to teppo
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    click here to view my first fanfic Contestshipping-The Beginning of the Johto Grand Festival http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...19#post6437419

  7. #7
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    I've liked it so far, and it definetely has potential to become a great fic, just use more vivid descriptions and a bit more diverse vocabular. The only problem I've had so far is that there are quite a few grammar mistakes (but I'm a bit nitpicky when it comes to that). I've listed some of the mistakes from the first and second chapter here. I'm not doing this to be rude, I'm just trying to help you make your fic even better .

    Quote Originally Posted by First Chapter
    While traveling with Ash in the Hoenn Region, May have been competing in various Pokémon Contests.
    It should be "has been", not "have been".

    Quote Originally Posted by First Chapter
    Drew later asked May for a battle and she was defeated by Drew‘s Roselia and his newly capture Butterfree.
    "Capture" should be "captured".

    Quote Originally Posted by First Chapter
    [B]She knows that traveling alone is going to be lonely, but once she get to Johto, Drew, Solidad, and possibly Harley, is waiting for her.
    It should be "gets to Johto", not "get to Johto", and "are", not "is".

    He is no prince charming that for sure.
    "That's", not "that".

    Quote Originally Posted by First Chapter
    May thoughts were confuse.
    "May's", not "May", "confused", not "confuse".

    Quote Originally Posted by First Chapter
    I wonder what for dinner tonight, huh, May?
    "What's", not "what".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    Let order something while we’re here,” Max said as he followed May into the ice cream shop.
    "Let's", not "Let".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    Max apologize with a bit of worry in his voice.
    "Apologized", or "apologizes", but not "apologize".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    May notice a poster for an upcoming Pokémon Contest here in Petalburg City.
    "Notices", or "noticed", but not notice.

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    “I know! I use Squirtle for the appeals and Munchlax for the battle. This is going to be great!’
    "I'll use Squirtle", not "I use Squirtle".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    It great that you’re home early.
    "It's", not "it".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    He with mom right now. They be here soon to cheer for me,” May said casually.
    "They'll", not "They".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    I grateful to be here right now as a judge for this contest,”
    "I'm", not "I".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    It my pleasure to be here today,”
    "It's", not "It".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    "Gave it up for Annie from Oldale Town,” Mr. Poffin said as he make her feel welcome.
    "Give it up", not "Gave it up", "to make her feel welcome", not "as he make her feel welcome".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    Skitty landed on the ground as it finish its performance.
    "Finished", not "finish".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    “What a wonderful performance I ever seen since this contests started,” Mr. Poffin told Annie. “Let gave another applause for her and her Skitty.” The audiences were clapping loudly and cheering for her.
    "I've seen", not "I ever seen", "Let's", not "Let", "The audience was", not "The audience were".

    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chapter
    “I can’t wait to see what treat she got for us today.”
    "She has", not "she got".

    Btw, if you want to check for mistakes you've made, ask someone else to read it over and tell you of any mistakes. It's often easier for other people to pick up mistales in your writing than it is for yourself to notice mistakes.

    Anyway, good luck, and I'd like to be put on the PM list, please. :3
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  8. #8
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    wow... (l_l) i made that much mistakes. oh well. thanx for the spellin grammer. i make sure to make it better next time! ^-^

    btw i hav a question bout PM List. do i send messages to people on my PM list to tell them i update a chapter?

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    btw i hav a question bout PM List. do i send messages to people on my PM list to tell them i update a chapter?
    Yep, just send a private message to everyone on the list saying that you've posted a new chapter ^_^.
    {New icon currently under construction C:}
    You can call me Liberty4Pokemon, Liberty, or Libby (my given name), whatever floats your boat! =)

    Proud Namer of/Supporter of OutofSpiteShipping | Ditto on ShootsDownShipping :-*
    ^Glitter/Twinleafshipping, yuri-licious oneshot | ^ShootsDown/Penguni/AppealShipping serial <33
    Claims: Shinji/Kengo; Nozomi/Kengo; Kasumi/Hikari; Sakaki/Kaorin {AzuDai} (couples)||Gwen Stefani (celebrity)
    Nozomi is my bishie =3

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    oh. thanky for tellin me

    p.s. i will post chapter 3 in about one week or less
    Last edited by Syushuu; 2nd July 2007 at 3:07 AM.
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    click here to view my first fanfic Contestshipping-The Beginning of the Johto Grand Festival http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...19#post6437419

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    Default Well... it is improving

    Well-Cough! Hack! Wheeze!... Ahem! Excuse me, hairball. Yes, anyway, first of all when I asked for an Absol I meant for an appearence in the story, regardless, I give a you cookie for effort! Moving right along, on average the dialogue is good, the descriptions fine, writing in the correct tense still needs work but it's improving, slowly, but improving. Also, I want to take the Liberty of thanking Liberty (pardon the pun) for pointing out the grammer mistakes. (Now I don't have to!) In conclusion, the answer to your PM is that I think you should do a bit of everything, other than that just keep at it!

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    Absol Master
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    Talking

    Not bad. You shouldn't put Drew in the 4th chapter though. I really want to see some contestshippyness!!! Good Luck to You!!!
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    Well, looks like I have some competition. Just kidding. Anyways, like the people above have said, it has potential. I especially like the beginning, how you summarized everything important (At least that has to do with May) that happened. Also that you started right after May & Max left. Mine started a month after! Anyways, I hope you update soon and can I be added to the PM List?

    Oh, and here's a warning! Don't post just to ask how something works because then the moderators get mad since they consider that SPAM. Ask someone who knows for sure.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Absol Master View Post
    Yes, anyway, first of all when I asked for an Absol I meant for an appearence in the story, regardless, I give a you cookie for effort! Moving right along, on average the dialogue is good, the descriptions fine, writing in the correct tense still needs work but it's improving, slowly, but improving.
    gee, thanks, i will try n keep improving. n there will be absol in the story

    Quote Originally Posted by Haruka_San View Post
    You shouldn't put Drew in the 4th chapter though. I really want to see some contestshippyness!!!
    wait i should or should not? anyway, once chapter 4 is in, trust me, there will be lots of contestshippyness. well, in my point of view, a lot

    Quote Originally Posted by ellie-chan View Post
    Anyways, I hope you update soon and can I be added to the PM List?

    Oh, and here's a warning! Don't post just to ask how something works because then the moderators get mad since they consider that SPAM. Ask someone who knows for sure.
    i will update soo. i promise to have chaper 3 somewhere this week and 4 probably in this or next week also

    about the warnin, i kinda thought so. but i wasnt sure so now i knoe. dont worry bout it, i kinda already ask someone bout it-for sure. i even went n read the rules too yesterday. it was kinda long too.(glad i finish this mornin)

    anyway ty all for umm...for...commenting and reviewing and...oh! for asking to be on the PM list. ty all again

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    well here chapter 3. I finish it on the morning of the 4th of july but i didn't want to post it yet because every1 is probably out spending time with family n stuff (i knoe i did) i cant wait to finish chapter 4. that when it goin to get into contestshippyness!

    Chapter 3-Take the Stage, May! (PG)

    “Our last contestant is someone you all know. If not, here is May, a coordinator who entered the Hoenn and Kanto Grand Festial,” Mr. Poffin said with enthusiasm. “I can’t wait to see what treat she got for us today.”

    “Come on out, Squirtle!” May yelled as she did a twirl releasing her pokémon.


    “Go for it, May!” Max shouted sitting in the audience with Caroline.

    “You go get them honey,” Caroline cheered.

    As May releases Squirtle, it was in the air doing a continuous somersaults while it is in its shell.

    “Squirtle! Bubblebeam!”

    Squirtle pop out of its shell and the somersault it was doing in midair stopped. It then releases a bunch of bubbles from its mouth that headed towards the ground. As it was hits the ground and bounced up gently, May ordered Squirtle to use Rapid Spin and Squirtle went back into it shell and dive toward the ground. Now Squirtle was on the ground using Rapid Spin in the middle of the bubbles. The bubbles flew up while spinning in a cycle and collided in midair, sending beautiful sparkles everywhere.

    As Squirtle ran to May for a hug, the crowds were cheering and clapping for the awesome performance.

    “You did great, Squirtle!” May also ran over to Squirtle to gave it hug.

    “That was a wonderful performance. We know someone who will be going to the finals for sure,” Mr. Poffin said. “Let see what our other judges think.”

    “Yes, I agree. That’s was truly magnificent,” Nurse Joy said.

    “I’m not just saying this because you’re my daughter but that was truly a sight to see,” Norman said as he was still clapping.

    “Thank you, everyone,” as May and Squirtle bow and left the field.

    The judges are now talking to one another on who will be the going to the final. From the audiences, mothers and fathers were running to their children to gave them hugs and kisses on their performances. Caroline and Max both headed towards May and Squirtle to congratulate them for the performance also. As soon as May, who was now holding Squirtle in her arms, spotted Caroline and Max, she started walking towards them when the girl with the Skitty stepped in front of her.

    “Hey,” the girl said in an annoy voice to May.

    “Um…Hello,” May respond back nervously, noticing the little girl was giving her a strange look. The girl was about the same height as Max so May assumed their age were close.

    After examining May and her Squirtle, “Humph” was all she said. “I don’t know what’s up with you and Drewie but I’m not going to lose to you!”

    “What?!” was all May could say for now.

    “You heard me! I am Drewie’s number one fan. There no way an amateur like you would have Drewie’s respect,” the little girl was pointing her nose in the air to show how much pride she has.

    “Listen…little…girl! I-” May was interrupted when the girl didn’t let May’s finish her sentence.

    “If I were you, I would stop hanging around with the pros and start working on my skills more. Seriously, you and Drewie are spending way to much time to-” this time, the little girl was interrupted by May.

    “ENOUGHT!” May yell. It was so loud that it startle Squirtle a bit.

    Caroline and Max, who just walk up to May, which is behind of the little girl, was taken aback when they heard May yell like that. It was like yelling at an innocent girl if no one around heard the conversation they had. It basically made May look bad in front of many of the parents here including Caroline.

    Continuing, May asked, “Where did you get the idea about me and Drew anyway?!” She was really angry now.

    Coordinator Digest of course,” the little girl took out a small magazine and toss it to May. May caught it and can’t believe the cover she saw. ‘Special Edition: Coordinators’ Love’ with a picture of her and Drew during the end of the Kanto Grand Festival. Seeing the surprise look on May, Annie just turn and walk away since she notice some people coming behind her.

    ‘H-How? How did this happen?’ May thought.

    “What that you’re holding M-” Max was cut off as May shoved Squirtle into his arms. “Hey!”

    Ignoring Max, she just flipped through the pages. May saw bunches of pictures with her and Drew together, mostly. There were like words with ‘couple’ a lot in boldface. May was blushing even though she was just flipping through them, not actually reading them.

    “May!” Max and Caroline yell to get her attention.

    Hearing their voices, May just hid the small booklet in her fanny bag. She doesn’t want Max nor her mother looking through it. Knowing her mom and Max, they would probably tease her about it a lot.

    ‘I just read when I get home. I can’t believe people think we’re a couple’ May thought as she pay her attention back to her mother and Max. ‘But being a couple does sound cute.’

    “What was all that about, sweetie? It not like you to yell at someone. And that someone has to be a sweet little girl too,” Caroline said with a hint of disappointment in her daughter.

    “I know, mom. But that little girl is so…so…arggg!” May was feeling really frustrated now. ‘Why did she have to bring up Drew anyway?’ May sigh.

    Max decided to put Squirtle down and think for a second. Adjusting his glasses up and down, Max spoke in a most suspicious tone. “Did that girl happen to talk about a certain someone you know, May?” emphasizing on the word someone.

    “No. She didn’t Max,” May completely lied, looking at her brother with caution about what he going to say.

    “Really?” his voice getting more and more suspicious.

    “Yeah. Really,” May voice starting to get annoyed.

    “’Cause I heard her said something about you. Or was it you or Drew. You and Drew. You with Drew,” Max kept on rambling.

    “Drew?” Caroline tried to remember something about that name. “Drew? Hmm…Where have I heard that name before?”

    ‘Uh oh. If mom remember, she going to tease me about it forever. Who was that boy? Is he your Boyfriend? Do you love him? Does he love you back?’ May was panicking now. ‘Oh! I know! Make an excuse.’

    “Hey mom. Max. I got to go. Later.” Before they could say another word, May return Squirtle to its pokéball and left. Heading to where the battle field is, May waited for the second round to begin.

    “May I have your attention please.” Mr. Poffin said as he was ready to announce the two finalist for the contest. “The two finalist are…May and Annie!”

    The crowds were cheering as May and Annie step onto the battlefield. There was a board with a timer and points for the battle behind the judges. “Five minutes on the clock. And begin!” shouted Mr. Poffin. The timer was set and both trainer release their pokémon.

    “Munchlax, take the stage,” May said releasing it from its pokéball. Munchlax jump out and was pump up. It was ready for the battle.

    “Come on out, Roselia!” Annie said releasing her pokémon.

    ‘A Roselia?’ May thought. ‘Drew…’

    Somehow May was so focus on the Roselia that she forgotten about Munchlax. As May was completely standing there doing nothing, Annie ordered Roselia to used Petal Dance. Munchlax was hit back and her points were dropping.

    “May! Snap out of it! Munchlax in trouble!” Max yelled from the audience.

    “Huh? Munchlax?” Suddenly realizing the situation, May shouted, “Munchlax! Use your Focus Punch!”

    Munchlax hand started glowing and it charged straight towards Roselia. Not having enough time to dodge completely, Roselia took a direct hit. Roselia was sent flying back and was knock out on the ground.

    “Roselia is unable to battle. And the winner is…May and her Munchlax!” Mr. Poffin said as he, Norman, and Nurse Joy walked over to congratulate May. Annie was so mad that she lost to May. she stomped away furiously without saying anything.

    “Congratulation, May,” Mr. Poffin said walked up to May. Turning his attention to the other contestant and audiences in the front, Mr. Poffin congratulate them and wish them good luck when their journey start. Thus ending the contest for the afternoon.

    May and her family are now at home eating dinner. May and Max were talking about their adventures while Norman and Caroline listen intently. At time they would complement on her dangerous or how amazing it was. After May and Max finish talking about their adventures up till now, May announced that she will be leaving for Johto.

    “Johto?” Norman question sipping his drink.

    “Yeah. I told mom before we came home. I guess I forgot to tell you dad. Sorry.”

    “Don’t worry about it. Your mother told me already,” Norman put his drink down and walked over to the cabinet. He pulled out a slip of paper and heading back to sit down.

    “This is for you.” Norman handing the paper to May. “It is for a cruise heading to Johto tomorrow. We got you tickets so you’ll be leaving tomorrow. We know you would be heading to Johto and tomorrow is a perfect time to go too.”

    “Wow! A cruise!” May squeal. She was practically jumping up and down from her seat.

    “Not just any cruise. It a special cruise for coordinators like yourself to get a head start,” Caroline said excited to see her daughter so happy.

    “This cruise is for coordinators heading to Johto to compete. During the cruise, you get a chance to meet other coordinators like yourself and talk about combinations and stuff. There’s also berry blending in certain areas of the cruise. You can even share secrets on making the best pokéblocks. And there’s also contest arena for friendly competition. Not to mention the experience your Pokémon will get.” Norman said with excitement for May as well.

    “The best part of this cruise, May, is simply having a fun time. On the night of the cruise, there will be holding a masquerade. Oh, how romantic! The MC for the Johto Region will explain the details for the contests. Once you get there, you will have a head start. Isn’t it wonderful, May,” Caroline said smiling joyously at her daughter for this opportunity she gets.

    “Wow,” May said speechless. “I don’t know what to say, but thank you.”

    “No need to. You get out there and do your best,” Norman said with a determine look for May.

    “Wow, May! That amazing you get to go on the cruise. I wish I could go with you,” looking disappointed, but was happy for his sister.

    “Oh, Max.” May said feeling sympathy for her brother.

    “Don’t worry, Max. Your father is going to be training you when he doesn’t have any challenger at the gym,” Caroline said to Max.

    “This way, you will be ready when you become a pokémon trainer,” Norman said cheering Max up.

    “Thank you so much, dad!” Max said getting all excited. “I can’t wait!”

    “Nor am I. I’m going to go to my room and get ready for tomorrow,” as May left the room and headed toward her room.

    As May head to her room, she gets the urge of hoping to meet a certain coordinator when she gets to Johto. Sitting on her bed, she started packing and sorting the things she needs for the trip. While emptying her fanny bag, she notice the magazine dropped out.

    “Oh. I almost forgot about this.” May said picking up the special edition of Coordinator Digest.

    Flipping through the pages where there was an article of them, May begins to read.

    “There has been many incidents where Coordinators Drew and May were seen together. At first, they were thought to be rivals competing for Top Coordinator. But later that rivalry seem to develop into more with what seems to be romantic.”

    “They both seem to deny the fact that they are in love! Ohh how I saw it too! The lovebirds were looking at the sunset. And then, both were staring into each other eyes. And before you knew it, they were getting ready to kiss! Of course, I had to step in cause it not safe for the two to kiss alone,” a coordinator who knows the two of them very well told us.

    “Could this be the beginning of their relationship? Or did it started a long time ago with the roses? Yes, roses. Roses are a symbol of love. Coordinator Drew had given May roses before. What does this mean? Could it be Drew making a move on her? Coordinator May seem to accept the roses but does she have feelings toward Drew? “

    “When we met up with Drew, we seem to ask him dozen of question about their status. He just simply shrug and told us, quote: We’re nothing more than rivals. I have no feelings for her. She’ll just get in the way.”

    “That was a cold thing to say, Drew. We don’t even know what he say is true but he never did answer anything about the roses. Does he want to keep a secret or does it mean he like someone else? Tension is heating as we try to uncover the truth.”

    ‘Is that what I am to you Drew,’ May thought. Tears started to form but she just wipe them away. “Fine. I just train harder and prove it to you when I win the Grand Festival.”

    With that, May putted the magazine back in her fanny bag and continue packing. She not gonna let it bother her. Putting up a smile she finish packing and head to bed.

    end of chapter 3

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    “They both seem to deny the fact that they are in love! Ohh how I saw it too! The lovebirds were looking at the sunset. And then, both were staring into each other eyes. And before you knew it, they were getting ready to kiss! Of course, I had to step in cause it not safe for the two to kiss alone,” a coordinator who knows the two of them very well told us.
    It was Harley! I just flippin' know it! And that girl Annie is a b*t*h!!!

    Anyways, the story is starting to get better! Nice idea for a Coordinator Cruise. And Drew is so mean...how could he say that about May? But he was just kidding right? RIGHT! *Bites nails anxiously* LOL, hope you update again soon!

    P.S. Wow, you live in Houston? So do I.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ellie-chan View Post
    It was Harley! I just flippin' know it! And that girl Annie is a b*t*h!!!
    correct! it was definitely harley lol im glad u knew it XD, n yeah...Annie, i dont like her either

    Quote Originally Posted by ellie-chan View Post
    P.S. Wow, you live in Houston? So do I.
    yep i live in houston all my life

    chapter 4 is almost done. i probably upload it this week. maybe saturday or sunday
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    Wow, this is good and I like it. Thats something because I dont like many books so you should continue because this is freakin cool.

    By the way can I be on the PM list?
    I like PIE!!! That's all I have to say

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    Love the magazine part! I hate that Annie girl. Keep Writing! (Not much to say)
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    I liked this chapter (Harley seems to have boundary issues ;-]), and the Coordinator Cruise seems like an interesting route to go.

    Is Annie supposed to be Wakana/Brianna from the anime? She always did annoy me (fangirl-y characters always grate on my nerves).

    Anyway, good luck with chapter 4! :^)
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    wow. :D

    Awesome story, just get your tenses right and it'll be a great story. xD

    Love the magazine article, and it's quite obvious that it was Harley who contributed to one of the paragraphs. xDD

    And yay, Drew is coming soon. :D

    Update soon & put me on your PM list, puh-leaze. xD
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    here chapter 4 ^-^ im not goin to be very good at describin May and Drew's outfit in this chapter so i drew it. i mess up with may dress at the bottom. it suppose to be white not grayish colors. click on this link to view http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n...MayandDrew.jpg btw, because it was kinda long, i didn't quite check the grammer so if there an error, sry =P just to be safe the rating pg13, but i still kinda think it is pg


    Chapter 4-All Aboard the S.S. Cruise Ship! PG-13

    “MORNING!” May shouted to her parents and brother.

    “Morning,” the family said.

    “Come sit down and have breakfast. I’m sure you will be hungry later,” Caroline said knowing how much May likes to eat.

    “So, May. What pokémon are you going to bring with you to Johto?” Max asked as May sat down and started eating.

    “Hm. Let’s see. I will be bringing Blaziken, Beautifly, Skitty, and…Eevee,” May responded.

    Overhearing May bringing Eevee, Norman said, “Eevee. I see. When you head to Johto, watch your Eevee closely. It might just surprise you.”

    “I will, dad,” May said as she stuff some eggs into her mouth.

    “Look at the time. I guess it’s time for you to go, sweetie.” Caroline said reminding her daughter.

    As May got up and left, the whole family follow her to the door. Squirtle and Munchlax was also at the door to say goodbye to May.

    “Goodbye, mom, dad, Max. You too Squirtle, Munchlax. I called home from time to time, so don’t worry,” May said waving goodbye.

    “Have a safe journey, May. We all love and support you, dear,” as Caroline said waving goodbye with Norman, Max, Squirtle, and Munchlax.

    May was walking to the port when she spotted the ship. It look like any ship except it was bigger up close. It has about ten floor. Floor one is the lowest and floor ten, which is also the deck, is the highest. Boarding the ship, May received a key to her cabin from an attendant.

    May’s cabin number was 207. There are a total of five floor for cabins and May’s was on the third floor. She went in the elevator and out into the corridor.

    “204, 205, 206, and…207. We’re here. Cabin 207,” May said opening the door to the room.

    The room wasn’t too big or small. It was like one of the size of the Pokémon Center room. There was a circular window that look out to the sea, a bed in the middle of the room, cabinet on the left, and bathroom on the right.

    On May’s bed was a package. It was just sitting there neatly. May walked over to the bed and decided to open the package. A letter was attach and May read it.

    Dear May,
    This is for you. You might need it.
    Love, mom

    May took out the dress and a pair of shoes for the dress. It was a red dress with a white sash tied in the middle of the waist to form a knot. The dress was kind of like a double layer. It reached down to her feet. The top and bottom part is white with no sleeve. Her shoes, or ‘heels’ has a strap for the ankle and front, showing the toes a little. It wasn’t high but average.

    “Wow…” was all May could say.

    As she was still admiring the dress, the caption voice was on the intercom. “Passengers. We are now departing to Johto. We will be arriving in Johto tomorrow morning. Before we get there, please enjoy the ride. Tonight at seven, there will be a masquerade. Please come by and have a grand time. We will review some details for the contest being held in the Johto Region. This info will gave you the opportunity for a head start. Thank you for your time,” the caption voice disappear.

    May decided to unpack her stuff from her fanny bag and release her Pokémon. “Come on out everyone!”

    May released all of her pokémon and out came Blaziken, Beautifly, Skitty, and Eevee. Blaziken stand by next to the bed while Skitty and Eevee played tag on the floor. Beautifly fly to May and landed on her head. Taking out the magazine again, she threw it on the bed with the page she read yesterday open.

    “All of you stay here okay. Don’t cause any trouble. I will be heading upstairs to the deck if you need me,” May said with a humph and left with Beautifly because it was on her head.

    May and Beautifly both explore what the ship offers. There was definitely a battle arena for friendly competition. Many coordinators were in the arena working on combination with their pokémon. The pokéblocks area were pretty crowded and there was even a Pokémon Center with a Nurse Joy too.

    Tired of looking around, May decide to head up to the deck and get some fresh air. Next to the rails were some of those beach chairs where you lay down. May decide to sit at one and look out into the sea. Beautifly was flying around near May.

    “You love it out here, huh, Beautifly,” May said looking at it.

    It made a cry and flutter around happily. May just watch Beautifly until she fell asleep.

    Around six, May woke up and found Beautifly holding a card with a rose attach. “What you got there, Beautifly?” May said taking the card and rose from it. The letter was address to her. Carefully examining the rose, she slowly opened the letter.

    It read: Dear May, I was going to ask you to go to the masquerade with me tonight but you were sleeping peacefully and I didn’t want to wake you. Instead I gave this card to your Beautifly knowing that you will get it. I hope to see you there tonight.

    “It looks like I got a date tonight,” May said looking at Beautifly. “I wonder if its Drew who sent this,” now looking at the rose. “Anyway, let head back to the room.”

    When May got back to her cabin, Beautifly flew over to the bed and decided to rest. May then close the door and headed to the bathroom to change into her dress. Her dress was long so it cover the heels she wearing. She decided to wear her bandana because it matches her dress. Before she left for the masquerade, she prepare pokémon food for her pokémon when they wake up and get hungry.

    The masquerade was held on the ninth and tenth floor. It was tall and has chandelier lights. The room of the masquerade connect the two floor with stairs on the left that lead outside to the balcony of the ship, not the deck‘s rail. On the ninth floor was a stage in the middle of the room’s wall with a microphone and two speakers to the side. The food and punch were on the right. To the left were round tables and chairs. On the tenth floor were just the balcony with nothing much except the view.

    “Welcome, coordinators!” May heard Lillian and Vivian announce on stage as she walked in. “We will be your MC for the Johto Contest and Grand Festival! Tonight is a special event so let’s enjoy the night while we’re still young! The rules for the Johto Contests are similar to Hoenn and Kanto. The twist is that to make this year more exciting, you will be pair in partners! Isn’t that right, Vivian?”

    “You got that right. During the appeal round, either one of the coordinators who were pair will perform! During the battle round, both coordinators will battle with double battles! Simple, huh? Last rule is that some contest have type specification and twist to them also. Some of your pokémon may not qualify. So, collect five ribbons and you and your partner will head to the grand festival!” Lillian said.

    “I wonder who my partner will be?” May asked curiously standing next to the stair’s rail that lead to the balcony when she walked in.

    “Who knows. But whoever it is, they will be unlucky enough to have you.”

    Recognizing the voice, May suddenly turned behind to see Drew, leaning on the wall of the entrance with his hands in his pockets.

    “D-Drew…?! What are you doing here?!” May asked surprised.

    Drew was wearing a black suit that matches his shoes. His collar shirt under his suit jacket was white. He didn’t wore a bow or a tie. His collar was left open a bit and it was standing out. Drew wasn’t exactly dress for a formal night but more of a party night.

    “Isn’t that an obvious question, May. I was here the whole time waiting for you to at least show up?” Drew said flipping his hair.

    “H-How did you know I would be here?!” May frantically asked Drew who was slowly walking toward her. May was pratically thinking that Drew was somehow following her.

    “It’s simple. Didn’t you receive the card from Beautifly?”

    ‘Just meeting him makes me so mad!’ May thought hearing Drew’s snobbish voice.

    “You look beautiful tonight,” Drew said examining her from top to bottom.

    ‘Eh?!’ May started blushing, “Um…Uh…T-Thank you, Drew. You don’t look that bad either.”

    “Don’t get me wrong or anything. What I meant is that you looked decent for once,” Drew said smirking.

    “Wh-WHAT?!” furious, May started to charge at Drew. Drew just put his hand out at May and stopped her like when they met in Slateport.

    “Temper, Temper,” Drew said sarcastically patting May on the head like a dog after stopping her.

    May just had it. She just stood up straight and walk the opposite direction from Drew’s.

    ‘Just when you think he’s nice, May, he starts to act all sarcastic.’ May thought storming off.

    ‘Maybe I overdid it,’ seeing May stomp away, ‘I guess I should go and at least apologize.’ Drew sigh.

    “Hey May!” Drew yelled while catching up to May.

    “What do you want now, Drew?” May said in an unpleasant tone, glaring at Drew.

    “Heh.” Drew let out another sigh and hope this works.

    “May I have this dance,” Drew took May’s hand and pull her close to him gently on the dance floor. A slow song was playing and Drew leaded May. May, blushing and angry, tried to pull away, but Drew’s grasp was to tight. May gave up and follow Drew’s lead, still blushing. May’s hands were on one of Drew’s shoulders while the other was holding Drew’s hand.

    As they were dancing, Drew whisper into May’s ears soothingly, which made her jump, “Calm down. Everything‘s fine.”

    Hearing this, May felt a bit calmer than nervous. When they were dancing, May notice Drew’s face a bit too close to hers. As the song was about to end, May and Drew both pull away and heading back to the sidelines. May was about to speak when Vivian’s voice cuts her off.

    “Ladies and gentlemen! Coordinators! I’m please to announce your partner for the Johto Region Contests. While all of ya’ll on the dance floor dancing, we wrote all of your names and gave you each your partner. Your partner will be the person you just danced to the last song. Coordinators who weren’t dancing, we paired you up with other random coordinators who weren’t also dancing! You may go and get your contest pass as soon as you board off the ship tomorrow. Get to know your partner tonight and have a great time!”

    ‘WHAT?!' was all May thought. ‘I can’t be paired up with Drew! I just can’t!’

    ‘I’m not even sure how I’m going to make it to the grand festival now,’ Drew sigh.

    May ran over to Vivian and asked, “Is our partner permanent?”

    “Of course not. You may change your partner at any time but it’ll be a lot harder if you‘re change during your journey. For example, one of you will be carrying the ribbons. If you and your partner have like four ribbons and you decided to switch with someone, they might have only two. That means you have to win the ribbons over again.” After that‘s said, she left the stage.

    “I guess we can’t change then.” May mutter in a low voice.

    “You know I’m not happy about it either.” Drew said disappointed. “But you know what. You should be glad to have me as you partner, May. This way you won’t be facing me in the grand festival,” Drew said with a smirk that shows he’ll be teasing May throughout the journey.

    “That’s great for you I guess. Just don’t expect me to get in your way or anything,” May said still sulking.

    Hearing that, Drew was taken aback. ‘Get in the way?’ Drew thought.

    “Anyway. I’m…tired,” May continued, yawning. “I think I’m going to head to my cabin and sleep,” May said walking away.

    “Wait.” Drew pulled back May before she walks away. “Let head to the balcony for a bit okay?”

    “Huh? But-” Drew just dragged May before she even get to answer back.

    Both May and Drew were now on the balcony staring into the sea. No one else was here except tem. The sky was clear and you could see the moon and stars. May was simply staring at the beautiful sight while Drew was just leaning on the rail looking at the stars.

    “Why did you want me to come to the balcony?” May asked to break off the silence.

    Looking ‘sincerely’ at May, Drew confessed, “Because I wanted to tell you that I loved you the first time we met.”

    Surprised, May blushing madly, replied back, “W-Well…I…really-”

    “Just playing,” Drew said with a childish smile looking at May.

    “Huh?” May said controlling her temper and getting ready to kill Drew for what he is about to say next.

    “I was just playing, May. I wanted to try making a love confession to see how you would respond or react,” Drew said flipping his hair and chuckling. “I wanted to see that insecure feeling on your face that swallows you when someone confesses their love to you. You know. That feeling of insecurity,” Drew said holding back his laughter.

    May, on the other hand, didn’t think it was funny confessing your love for someone. It suppose to be serious or someone could get the wrong ideas like her. Instead, she wanted to get back at Drew for that. May started to lean closer to Drew while holding onto his suit jacket and May’s face were against Drew‘s chest. Holding onto Drew, May could tell that his body was stiff now and a blush started to form on his face. May then pulled with all her strength and pushed Drew so he fell on the floor.

    Seeing the surprise look at Drew on the floor, she was happy she got back at Drew and shouted at him before stomping away, “Me! Bed! Going to sleep!”

    Realizing what happen, Drew got on his feet and follow after May. “W-Wait…I walk with you. It not safe to wonder the corridors alone.” May didn’t say anything and Drew continue to follow.

    Walking all the way to May’s cabin, they were both silent. Drew was still a bit traumatize but kept his cool around May.

    “Hey, May. Could you at least say something?” May just pouted and walked faster.

    “You know. If you keep pouting like that, people gonna mistake you for a fish someday,” Drew smirk looking at May. May just turn to Drew with the same face and stick out her tongue at him. Drew just sigh. “Who knew my rival, whom I’ve finally acknowledged as a coordinator, was still a child.”

    “Oh, and you think you’re so mature,” May said turning back to look at Drew.

    “It’s nice to hear that lovely voice of yours talking to me again, May,” Drew said sarcastically meaning May’s temper.

    “Save the sweet talk for your fans and disappear like you always do already,” May said continuing walking towards her cabin.

    “I’m hurt. How could you say something so cold?” Drew said sarcastically of course. But deep down, it did hurt him a little.

    “Not as cold as to what you said about me,” May continue walking down the corridors.

    ‘What did I said about you?’ Drew thought perplex.

    When May finally reached her cabin, she was about to open the door when Drew tapped her shoulder from the back.

    Turning around, “What do y-” a rose was in May’s face and all of her anger completely washed away.

    “Here. Take it as an apology gift,” Drew said casually handing May the rose.

    “Thanks, Drew.” May softly said looking deeply into the rose Drew have given to her. A warming smile was on her face. “That means a lot to me.”

    “Yeah,” Drew said flipping his hair and putting his hands in his pocket. “I guess I’ll be going now.”

    “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay, Drew?” May asked as Drew turn and started walking away. Drew just wave his hand up signaling it as a ‘yea.’

    As May opened her cabin door, Skitty and Eevee ran out towards Drew’s direction.

    “Skitty! Eevee! Come back!” May shouted but they kept going.

    Not very far, Drew turned his head around to see May panicking a bit from where he left her. He then felt something hit his legs. It was Skitty and Eevee who both looked up to see Drew. Picking them up, he walked back to where May was.

    “Lose something,” Drew said holding Skitty and Eevee out.

    “Yeah. Th-thanks,” May said, still recovering from the surprise Skitty and Eevee gave her.

    “You should go sit down,” Drew said as he walked into May’s room, still carrying Skitty and Eevee.

    As Drew walked in, he turned on the lights and sweat dropped. Walking in after Drew, May closed the door and turn around to see her room was a complete mess.. Both Blaziken and Beautifly were totally knock out on the ground. The pokémon food was everywhere and the bed was all mess up.

    “Woah. It looked like something happen here.” May said as she looked at Skitty and Eevee. They just smile, oblivious to the damages they cause.

    “It looks like you have some cleaning to do before you head to bed,” Drew said as he released the two pokemon he was holding down.

    Collapsing to the ground, May just sigh and thought she will never get enough sleep now. It was already midnight just looking out the window.

    “I guess I have no choice,” Drew said pulling May up from the floor. “I help you clean.”

    “Really!” May said as she thought Drew was doing her a favor.

    “Of course, there is no way you can do it yourself,” Drew continues with a hint of arrogance in his voice.

    “What?! Of course I can do it myself!” as May suddenly gets the urge to prove it to Drew.

    “Oh. Is that a challenge I hear?” Drew said flicking his hair.

    “Yeah! It’s a challenge alright!” as May suddenly took a vacuum out of nowhere and start vacuuming.

    Drew just stand there and watched May work herself to death. She did say she was tired after all. Drew head to May bed and started fixing it up. After that was done, he sat there and watched May until she finish doing her cleaning.

    Drew got up and congratulate May as she collapse on the side of her bed. Everything was neat and there wasn’t even a crumb of pokémon food at all. Her pokémon were all in their pokéball and were sitting on the cabinet with her fanny bag.

    “Told you I can do it, Drew,” May said still laying on the bed. “I won the challenge.” May was really tired now and she could dose off any minute.

    “Yeah, but you missed something,” Drew said walking toward the edge of the bed and picked up a magazine. “I guess I won and you lose.”

    Walking towards May, Drew notice she was already in a deep sleep. Instead, he sat opposite to her on the bed and started reading pages of Coordinator Digest.

    Drew can’t help but turn red when he was reading articles about May and himself. He read most of the articles without much interest until he came to the page where he felt something tugging at his throat.

    “When we met up with Drew, we seem to ask him dozen of question about their status. He just simply shrug and told us, quote: We’re nothing more than rivals. I have no feelings for her. She’ll just get in the way.”

    ‘She’ll just get in the way,’ Drew kept repeating that phrase in his head. ‘I see. May must have read this article.’

    Drew can’t help but felt a little guilty for saying that about May. He knows that May was sensitive, kind, and caring to people and pokémon who she doesn’t even know. He can’t help but also feel responsible for her. Shaking all these ‘feelings’ away, Drew decided not to dwell on it any longer.

    ‘I guess it’ll be better if I kept this,’ Drew thought as he put the magazine inside his suit jacket’s pocket.

    He got up and walked to May. Kneeling beside her, he moved her hair away from her face and whispered into her ears, “Night, May,” and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. Heading towards the door, Drew turned off the lights and left quietly not to wake May.

    end of chapter 4

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    Last edited by Syushuu; 8th July 2007 at 4:13 AM.
    credit: pictures on banner belongs to teppo
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  23. #23
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    Aww, how sweet. Drew is still a total jerk, that means he likes her, how sweet. Ok, I read out loud as I type and this is realy anoying. I mean my reply the book is still kick ***!
    I like PIE!!! That's all I have to say

  24. #24
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    omg, the fan art was so...wow. o_o *envious* I WISH I CAN DRAW LIKE THAT. xDDD

    lovely chapter; and it really got me there when drew 'confessed'. xDDD I hate stories like this, like in the beginning where they already confess. =/ xD But yeah, updattttee soon. : DDD
    STRAWBERRIES : DD
    (they rock and don't deny it or I'll send the strawberry army after you)

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephy View Post

    lovely chapter; and it really got me there when drew 'confessed'. xDDD I hate stories like this, like in the beginning where they already confess. =/ xD But yeah, updattttee soon. : DDD
    yea, i knoe wat u mean. i also hate story that confesses their love. it like when i read a story that was good, but then they confess their love and i lost interest. it happen to most fanfic i read. anyway, he didn't really confess. i just think it would be funny to do that XD
    credit: pictures on banner belongs to teppo
    click here to view my contestshipping amv on youtube http://www.youtube.com/profile_video...ContestSyushuu
    click here to view my first fanfic Contestshipping-The Beginning of the Johto Grand Festival http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthr...19#post6437419

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