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Thread: I'm Just Another Average Girl [Ikarishipping][PG-13]

  1. #1
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    Default I'm Just Another Average Girl [Ikarishipping][PG-13]

    Ookay, first pokemon fic / first post. >: Ikarishipping, maybe more pairings later, haven't decided. x_x Uhh.. High school setting, no pokemon, and pervert Shinji later. xD
    OOC, can't make Shinji fall in love without him being OOC. D:

    Italics are thoughts.

    -------

    Hikari sniffed, then sighed. I guess this is it..

    Ring ring ring. A-ah, cellphone, cellphone..

    "H-hello?"

    "Hikari-chan? Are you almost finished packing?"

    "U-uhm.. yeah.. I'm done.."

    "That's great! Do you want me to come over and pick you up?"

    "Uhm .. actually.. I wanted to walk.."

    "Eh? Are you sure? Hurry up then, it'll be dark soon. Do you remember our address?"

    "Yup. I'll be there soon. Bye."

    Hikari picked up her bag, left her room and headed for the front door. After slipping on her boots, she left the house. She looked back at the house she grew up in, then headed towards her new home.

    A few days ago, my mom died in a car accident, and her funeral was held earlier today. Since we don't have any relatives that we know of, I'm going to be living with my mom's closest friend and her husband from her high school days.

    I'm kind of excited, it's always been just my mom and I, so it got lonely sometimes. My mom used to tell me about their family alot, they have a son about my age. Mom never actually told me his name though..


    "A-ah! Uhm.. their house should be around here.." Hikari's eyes searched around the neighborhood.

    "Okay.. 462.. 463.. 464!" Hikari stood in front of the gate, eyeing the mansion.

    "Wow.. this house looks really expensive.."

    Hikari walked up to the front door and rang the door bell.

    "SURPRISE!~"

    "A-ah!" Hikari stumbled backwards , and fell on her bottom.

    "Welcome home, Hikari-chan!" Hikari stood up, and brushed the confetti off her skirt.

    "Thank you, u-uhm.. Rina-san."

    "No need to be so formal! You live here now, so call me auntie, okay? Come in!"

    "O-oh.. right." Hikari slipped off her boots entered.

    "Do you need help with your bag? I'll call Shinji."

    "Shinji?

    "Shinji is our son. Shinji! Help Hikari-chan with her stuff!"

    Shinji? A Shinji goes to my school.. N-no way! It can't be the same Shinji!

    "Yeah.. coming.."

    A-ah! It is the same Shinji!

    "Oi, stop staring at me. Do you need help or not?"

    "Help..?"

    Shinji eyes the bag.

    "Oh, it's okay.. I can carry it.."

    "Whatever." Shinji snatched the bag from her hands and started up the stairs.

    "Come on." Hikari blinked, then followed him.
    -------

    Was it okay? xDD

  2. #2
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    Talking

    WOW I am really impressed! First chappie and I'm already hooked in! I support Ikarishipping, so i really like this fic. The twist with Hikari living with Shinji was really good. I'm really happy that you used the japanese names, coz the American sub names are really BAD - seriously, Dawn and Paul! Dawn I'm fine with, but Paul! They should of chosen Mark, Darren or Riven. Plus i know how Hikari feels about living alone with her mum...tho i still have ma bro to keep me company! I was really sad when Hikari's mum died, so you should put more reality scenarios in your fic to keep me happy!

    Anyways, school has started for us and i won't come online as usual, but i'll try to keep on reading! Keep smiling!
    Last edited by anime_aficionada; 11th July 2007 at 9:30 AM.

  3. #3
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    I'll let this one slide, but in the future, please make your chapters longer - beef them up with some detail.
    Encyclopika's Fic of the Moment:

    Status: Chaptered | R | Contestshipping | Finished

    Encyclopika:
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    Need a moveset for a specific Pokemon for a specific contest? PM me!
    Don't reply to my infractions. It's not gonna change anything.

    Random friend requests do nothing. Let's actually talk first. >_<

  4. #4
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    Next chapter. ^^; Thanks for the comments/reviews. o: I'll try to make my chapters longer, sorry. ><;
    -----------------------

    Chapter 2: Going to School

    “This is your room.”

    “Wow.. it’s really big..” Hikari looked around the room.

    “Here’s your bag,” Shinji threw the bag onto her bed, “And don’t bother me anymore.”

    “Thanks.. Shinji..” Hikari looked down at the floor and blushed.

    “Whatever..” Shinji shoved his hands in his pocket and headed towards his own room.

    Hikari sat on her bed, and looked at her bag.

    Knock, knock. Hikari snapped out of her thoughts and looked towards the door.

    “Hikari-chan, Hikari-chan! Can I come in?”

    “A-ah, auntie!”

    “Do you like your new room, Hikari-chan?” Rina smiled then took a seat next to Hikari.

    “Hai, I like it a lot.” They both looked around the lightly decorated room.

    “Sorry it’s so empty, I wanted you to pick your own furniture just in case I got something you didn’t like.”

    Hikari shook her head. “N-no, it’s okay.”

    “So, so, does Shinji go to your school?”

    Hikari blinked at the sudden change of subjects and blushed.

    “Uh-uhm.. yeah, he does..”

    “He does? And you recognizes him?”

    “H-hai..” Hikari looked away, and Rina grinned.

    “Ne, ne, Hikari-chan, do you like Shinji?”

    Hikari's face turned as red as a tomato.

    “O-of course not! D-don’t s-say things like that, auntie!”

    “Heehee, you’re blushing, Hikari-chan.”

    “A-auntie!”

    “Do you see him a lot at school?”

    “Y-yeah.. He’s the smartest guy at school, and uhm.. he’s really popular..”

    “You should go talk to him if you like him, Hikari-chan.”

    “Th-that’s impossible! He’s really smart, popular, and cool.. A-and I’m just another average girl. Average looks, brain.. and not-so-popular.. S-so.. he probably doesn’t want me to talk to him..”

    “That’s not true! Hikari-chan is very cute, smart, and kind-hearted. Shinji would surely pick you over any of those other girl at school.”

    “Thank you.. auntie..” Hikari looked away, Even though that’s not true..

    Rina smiles, then yawned, “I know it’s hard to sleep in a new place, but try to get as much sleep as you can, okay Hikari-chan? You have school tomorrow.”

    “O-okay.. N-ne.. auntie.. Thanks for taking me in..”

    “No problem! I’ve always wondered what it would be like if we had a daughter around the house!”

    Hikari giggled a bit, “G-goodnight auntie!”

    “Good night Hikari-chan!
    Beepbeepbeep.

    Hikari’s cerulean eyes flickered open. M-morning already..? Hikari sat up, then got out of bed, and started rummaging through her bag to look for her uniform. After changing and getting ready, she looked at her reflection. Being satisfied with her hair, she hurried down the stairs.

    “Hikari-chan looks very cute in her uniform!”

    “A-ah, thank you, auntie.”

    “She looks ugly like always.”

    “Shinji!”

    “What? It’s true.”

    Hikari looked away and fiddled with her skirt.

    Shinji ate the rest of his breakfast and put the dishes in the sink.

    “I’m going to school.” He picked up his school bag and headed towards the door.

    “W-wait Shinji! Take Hikari-chan with you!”

    “E-eeeeeh?”

    “Whatever..”

    “Go Hikari-chan! This is your chance!” Rina gave her a little push.

    “A-auntie! A-ah.. wait for me, Shinji-kun!”

    Hikari followed Shinji out the door, then slowly closed it behind her. She silently tagged along, watching him closely.

    I wonder if.. Shinji-kun really does think I’m ugly..

    Suddenly, Shinji stopped walking, making Hikari bump into him and falling on her bottom, again.

    “Wh-why’d you do that..?” Hikari stood back up and smoothed her skirt.

    “Three rules.” Shinji turned around and glared at her coldly.

    “Th-three rules..?”

    “First rule. Do not hit or touch me.”

    “S-sorry..” Hikari looked at the ground and blushed.

    “Second. Don’t talk to me at school or at home.”

    “Oh..”

    “And third, don’t tell anyone about us living together. Follow these rules and we’ll both be happy. At least I will, anyway.”

    Shinji turned back around and continued walking.

    “O-okay..”
    Last edited by Tomoshii; 13th July 2007 at 6:10 AM.

  5. #5
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    Well I'm typing this as fast as i can...again!

    Wow, good chapter. First fic and so far its really good - and only the first two chapters may i add! Well I have nothing much to say, because the two aren't at school yet - and i can't wait for something to happen between them!!! And I'm happy that you used some Japanese in it as well - (but i don't learn Japanese - I only know Hai, -chan, -kun and Ne, so please don't use any other words!) The story looks good so far, so good luck on your next chapters!!! Keep smiling!

  6. #6
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    I'd pretty much say the same as Anime Aficonada, oh, and I know Nani, Baka, Hai, -Chan, -Sama, -Kun, -San, and Kawaii, just because I watch anime.
    And yeh, great chapter! =D
    _______________
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  7. #7
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    Smile

    lol soz 4 stealing what you were going to write Animelover1996! Plus its spelt anime_aficionada not anime_aficonada, but that must've been a typo! lol!

    Tomoshii - I like how you made Shinji/Paul act like a complete jerk!!! Make girls swarm all around him at school - since he's popular and all; to make Hikari/Dawn jealous! If you could try to do that (if it isn't to much to ask), or have already done that in your future fics - then I'll be one HAPPY CHAPPY!!! Keep writing those good chapters, oh and if you could, make them a bit longer! Keep smiling!
    Last edited by anime_aficionada; 17th July 2007 at 8:36 AM.

  8. #8
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    that was really good you capture the idea of shinji being an ******* in the beginning perfectly PLEASE UPDATE SOON
    is there another way to live cause its the only way to die

  9. #9
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    Hmm, this sounds fun, I love how Shinji is the most popular guy in school, when really he is a complete jerk who no one wants to talk to. =] I also like all the dialouge. The only thing you need to do is make the chapters longer. If you have a PM list, please add me. =D
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  10. #10
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    Awesome chapter! I can't wait to read what happens!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  11. #11
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    haha, this was VERY adorable. I like how you kept Shinji and Hikari in character, although I think Hikari is a bit more outgoing (I guess her mothers death explains why she isnt as outgoing). But this story is great. It made me laugh. haha, Shinji is such a jerk, but thats why we love him :]

  12. #12
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    Totally kewl!
    -Corsala Fan-
    ~Paul and Fan-girl~



    I am an American Girl with a fiesty attiude!
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  13. #13
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    Totally kawaii! Plz update soon!

    Isn't this on fanfic?
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