Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 44

Thread: In the Arms of an Angel (A contestshipping fic)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Glendale, LA, California
    Posts
    22

    Default In the Arms of an Angel (A contestshipping fic)

    Hi guys! This is yet another contestshipping fic I'm writing. This time, it has

    chapters ^^. If you guys are asking, May's the angel that gets send to Earth

    to melt the ice of a certain someone's heart. You really cannot believe how

    the story goes...and ends. Don't worry, no religious things in the fic so just

    enjoy it.

    Rated:G and M for some parts

    Prolegue:

    "You have called for me master?"

    May bowed down to hear what her master has to say. She settled her wings

    and waited.

    "May, I have a mission for you." May's master said.

    "What is it master?" May asked. She was always waiting for a task for her to

    do. Just staying in the heavens have been boring.

    "May, you are the most kind-hearted angel in my kingdom. I need you to go

    down to Earth and disguise as a human. A human's heart is frozen. He has

    become a harsh being and it angers me when he hurts others. I need you to

    melt the heart of that human and return here." The master explained. May

    got really excited about the mission since she never been to Earth before.

    "However" May then became alert and listened. "That human is a man that is

    the same age as you are. His name is Drew Hayden. You don't have to worry

    about living nowhere because you will be living with him in the meantime.

    Don't ask how but you will. DO NOT fall in love with him. You may if you wish


    but I prefer you don't because you will get each other hurt. I don't want you

    to be heartbroken when you come back here."

    May understands the situation and fully agree. Although, she knew falling in

    love with a cold-hearted person is almost impossible, but she'll never know.

    She then got really excited all of the sudden. She's gonna meet humans!

    " I understand the mission master. When shall I leave?" May asked in

    excitement.

    "I'll give you time to say farewell to your family. After that, you may leave to

    Earth." Master answered."You are dismissed."

    "Thank you master." May said as she flew away.

    *****

    "Changing a human man's heart? Heh, good luck sis." Max said. May gave him

    a light punch on the arm and looked at her mom.

    "Good luck honey. Your dad says good luck as well before he left. We'll miss

    you."

    "Thanks mom." May said.

    *****

    "Are you ready to departure May?"

    May nodded and closed her eyes.

    "Good luck May." Master said as he cast a beam of light on May and she disappeared.
    Last edited by AsianAngel; 30th December 2008 at 8:39 PM.
    Life is full
    Of pain
    You cry, you smile,
    You suffer
    Fighting for a loved one
    Is full of pain
    Does it matter?




    Love hurts
    But it's a feeling that people find
    AMAZING

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Mudkip-Pikachu Swamp
    Posts
    127

    Default

    Wow, this ones good too
    Changing Drew...good luck with that May. They need to fall in love. Update soon
    (And add me to pm list pleeease)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Glendale, LA, California
    Posts
    22

    Default Chapter 1

    Wow thanks! I had to update more stuff but glad you liked it!

    Here's chapter 1

    Chapter 1: Meeting Humans

    May opened her eyes to see thousands of buildings surrounding her. There

    were many trees and roads with moving engines moving in a slightly fast

    speed. May then started looking at herself in a mirrorshop's mirror. Her wings,

    her white robe, and shoes were gone. All she's wearing is a short white dress

    and grey flats.

    "I'm human all right" May said to herself. "Now to find that human

    man." May then started looking around the park. The park was filled

    with a lot of trees, grass, people, animals, and children playing. May

    observed the park until a yell of pain broke her trance. She then

    looked around to see an angry green-haired man yelling and possibly

    harrassing an 8 year old boy.

    "What the hell was that for you dork?!" The man said as he lifted the

    boy up by his shirt. May then cupped her mouth with her hands

    when the man punched the boy to the ground.

    "I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-sorry! I-i-i-it w-w-was an a-a-accident!"The boy

    said as he shook in pain and fear.

    "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HUMILIATED ME YOU SON OF A

    *****!" The man said as he was about to kick the boy. May

    couldn't take it anymore. This man was too cruel.

    "STOP IT!" May said she stood in front of the shivering boy."He's

    just a child and you're beating him up?! Don't you have a heart or

    is ice keeping you alive?" May said to the man. 'Wait a minute! Ice

    for a heart? A frozen heart! Don't tell me he's....' May thought.

    "Stay out of this puppy ears! Do you know how much he

    humiliated me!" The man said as he pointed at the brown ice

    cream splattered in his........place in the front.

    "No matter how humiliating it is to have ice cream.....there, it's

    more humiliating beating up a child because of an

    accident! May said as the man showed an even more angered

    face.

    "She's right Drew. You shouldn't have beaten up that child. People

    care more about you beating up the kid than that ice cream

    incident. Control that temper of yours Drew Hayden."

    May got startled and looked at the black-haired girl walking

    towards them. She was wearing a white blouse and a black mini

    skirt with red flats. May then recalled what she just called him.

    She then stood there wide eyed.

    "Hi, my name is Cherry Zane. You probably now know this bad-

    tempered man is Drew Hayden. Sorry about his attitude. And you

    are?" Cherry asked May.

    "My name is May. Nice to meet you I guess." May said as she

    shook Cherry's hand.

    "I've never seen you here before. Are you new here May?" Cherry

    asked her. May started getting nervous. She can't say she's an

    angel.

    "Ya I'm new here. I got no place to stay." May said and Cherry

    smiled.

    "It's okay May. You can stay with us. Drew and I live together.

    We have room for you." Cherry said.

    "All right. Thank you."

    __________________________________________________ _____

    Oh wow. Was that long yet rushed? POst here! And please make it a nice one.

    PM list
    ---------

    kiara911
    Last edited by AsianAngel; 13th November 2008 at 4:04 AM.
    Life is full
    Of pain
    You cry, you smile,
    You suffer
    Fighting for a loved one
    Is full of pain
    Does it matter?




    Love hurts
    But it's a feeling that people find
    AMAZING

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Under the roof
    Posts
    164

    Default

    hmm...
    This is nice.
    Although you need some descriptions and, why is your fic takes the left place only?

    hehehh
    keep it up, you're doing just great~!

    Diminishing, a CS Oneshot.

    Rafe from Destiny Deoxys is my hot bishie, YOOHOO!


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Mudkip-Pikachu Swamp
    Posts
    127

    Default

    Who's Cherry? I hope she's related to Drew.
    lol at Drew...that happened to Bewfurt on Phineas and Ferb. Its not that bad. Drew needs anger management.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Glendale, LA, California
    Posts
    22

    Default Chapter 2

    Cherry is......me! I kinda added myself to the story so I can really connect

    with it......lol weird huh? Cherry is not my real name....although I wish it

    was. Cherry Zane is kinda related to Drew. I know I always put the words on

    the left and it's because the edit box is small. Though I like it on the left

    because I don't get to type that much. Now onto the story!

    Chapter 2: Gathering Information

    "Are you serious Cherry?!" Drew asked Cherry. May was startled by Drew's

    outburst but Cherry stayed calm.

    "Oh be generous Drew." Cherry said. " She has nowhere else to go and she

    actually saved the little boy you were about to kill." Cherry chuckled and

    Drew gave her a glare.

    "Fine but she better stay out of my sight, out of my way, and out of my

    everything! I'm going home!" Drew said and looked at Cherry. "You still

    shopping for food?"

    "Yes I am. May would you come with me. I could show you around. And I

    could also save you from Drew." Cherry said as she looked at May.

    "Um. Alright." May answered. May then turned to see Drew walking away.

    "Good" Drew said and walked away. "See ya."

    May then followed Cherry to her car. Cherry went inside her car and turned

    on the engine. The car was a red sports car and May thought it looked fancy.

    Before May stepped into the car, the little 8 year old boy she saved came up

    to her with a chocolate ice cream.

    "Thank you" The boy said. He then handed her the ice cream and said," You

    can have it. Although, I know it's not enough so if you need my help in

    anything, feel free to ask!" With that, the boy ran away. May smiled at the

    boy and looked at Cherry. Cherry smiled and gestured her to get in. May

    went in the car curiously as they drove away.

    *****

    "Are you and Drew dating?" May asked all of the sudden. Cherry was startled

    and looked at May.

    "Of course not! I have a boyfriend and I really like him." Cherry answered and

    chuckled.

    "Then why do you two live together?" May asked curiously.

    "Well, he's me brother. At least, my stepbrother. My younger, bad-tempered

    and annoying, stepbrother. He was my stepbro ever since I was 13 years old

    and he was 8. He used to be a close friend of mine that I babysit a lot when

    we were younger. He used to be so nice, happy, and joy-loving. That was

    until he found out about his parent's death. It all started when his parents

    when to their anniversary in Hawaii and they were riding a plane home.

    Another plane crashed into theirs and everyone, including his parents, died

    under the ocean. When Drew found out the news, it was devastating."

    Cherry said as she remembered that horrible past.

    Flashback:

    "Chewwy! Chewwy! Where's my mommy and daddy? I thought they were

    coming today?" Drew asked a very sad Cherry. She looked at her parents and

    shared the same sad look. She crouched down to sadly tell Drew.

    "Drew, your mom and dad's plane crashed with another. Everyone's dead.

    Including your parents. They're......gone." Cherry told the surprised Drew.

    "No! No! No! They're not dead! They said they were coming back and I know

    they're coming back! They promised me!" Drew said. He then looked at Cherry

    and her parents and saw that they were not lying. Drew's eyes then started

    filling up with tears. He then hugged Cherry and continued sobbing so hard he

    could barely breathe. Cherry couldn't take the scene cried as well.


    "But that's not all. He also had to stress about repeating the seventh grade. He couldn't get all his studies right because of all the subjects he has to handle. He tried to let the

    teachers and the counselor understand, but they wouldn't listen to him and they continued to penalize him. That's why we had to move him to another school. But that's when he

    got his first girlfriend." Cherry explained.

    "What happened with Drew and his girlfriend?" May asked.

    "Heh, the girl was using Drew to get back with her ex and Drew found her and her ex in her bed." Cherry said. "After dumping him, she got what she deserved."

    "Did she die?" May asked dumbly.

    Cherry let out a giggle and said," No. The girl had fun with her boyfriend in the bed and did it also to a lot of other guys. Her boyfriend then found out and dumped her. After two

    days of the breakup, she got AIDS."

    "That was cruel but she deserved it." May said.

    "Oh you bet she did. But the problems Drew had that I explained right now isn't all of them. He also had his so called friends betray him and arrested him for stealing from a

    jewelry store when they did it not him. After that, his stress and bad attitude got him fired from his job. That's why he has to live with me and he's already 25 years old. After all

    that stress, he started drinking and taking drugs until he was on rehab. He was so ugly then but good thing my family got enough money to fix him up as good as new again. He

    got really stressed about himself and to others. He couldn't trust anyone anymore. Not even me. He kept everything to himself. His sufferings were so cold it slowly froze his heart

    with a deep, solid ice. He became a monster and I couldn't do anything for him anymore." Cherry said with a tear coming out of her eye. She then stopped the car and gestured

    her to come with her for groceries. May nodded and helped with the groceries. Although she spent the entire time thinking about Drew's hell of a life.

    "I'm gonna save you Drew. I promise." May said to herself.

    Hope ya guys liked it ^^!
    Last edited by AsianAngel; 13th November 2008 at 4:09 AM.
    Life is full
    Of pain
    You cry, you smile,
    You suffer
    Fighting for a loved one
    Is full of pain
    Does it matter?




    Love hurts
    But it's a feeling that people find
    AMAZING

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Mudkip-Pikachu Swamp
    Posts
    127

    Default

    Yay its longer ^^
    I like the idea of having Cherry in the story. To bad they're adults. Well, I guess its okay to be one. (I WANNA BE A KID FOREVER!)
    I hope more contestshipping interactions happen soon ^^

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    At college
    Posts
    536

    Default

    This isn't bad at all. You might want to add more detail though. PM me when the next chapter is out.

    ~Ayra~
    ^Click to go to my Fan Sprites thread, in need of some opinions^
    Sprites made of the animes:
        Spoiler:- List of animes:
    Newest series added: Bleach
    ^World of Warcraft Discussion Thread^

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Glendale, LA, California
    Posts
    22

    Unhappy Sorry

    Hi guys and sorry! My mom is banning me from da computer until 12/12/08
    T-T. I'll try sneekin in da computer to write the next chapter. I know I'm bad but this is for you guys ^^.

    PM list
    ________
    kiara911
    Ayra
    Life is full
    Of pain
    You cry, you smile,
    You suffer
    Fighting for a loved one
    Is full of pain
    Does it matter?




    Love hurts
    But it's a feeling that people find
    AMAZING

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Under the roof
    Posts
    164

    Default Review!

    Quote Originally Posted by AsianAngel View Post
    Cherry is......me! I kinda added myself to the story so I can really he's me brother
    he's my

    wow, not bad at all!
    It's actually very okay to have an OC character in the story!
    Nice job, add me to Pm list^^

    Diminishing, a CS Oneshot.

    Rafe from Destiny Deoxys is my hot bishie, YOOHOO!


  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Glendale, LA, California
    Posts
    22

    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by ~NaThziVOIR~ View Post
    he's my

    wow, not bad at all!
    It's actually very okay to have an OC character in the story!
    Nice job, add me to Pm list^^

    Actually, when I say me instead of my, I know it's supposed to be my not me. But I like talkin funny but if it doesn't work 4 ya, I'll be better. Thanks for reading my fic! I'll try

    putting the next chapter sneakily ^^.


    PM List
    ______
    kiara911
    Ayra
    ~NaThziVOIR~

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^

    This is the next chappy! Thank goodness I got to the computer! Anyways, here's the next chappy.

    Chapter 3: At home part 1

    May and Cherry finally came to the house. Although, May didn't know how beautiful the house is gonna be. The house was a white and brown two story building with a swimming

    pool in the back. The neighborhood was facinating as well. There were a lot of beautiful houses and trees with children playing. The sight of the neighborhood brightened up

    May's mood.

    "C'mon May. Help me get the groceries inside." Cherry said to May while carrying two plastic bags. May nodded and carried two plastic bags as well. May had a hard time carrying

    the bags inside because of the heavy weight of the bags she was holding. Cherry noticed this and quickly unlocked the door. Inside, she saw Drew lazily watching TV , not caring

    the fact that the two girls have arrived.

    "Drew, can you please help us carry the bags inside the house. They're pretty heavy and we bought a lot today." Cherry asked Drew while carrying two bags in the kitchen.

    "No" Drew simply answered. Although, Cherry couldn't take no for an answer.

    "Good, thank you Drew. Please start with helping May." Cherry said looking at Drew. Drew just gave her an irratated look and look back at the TV. "Now" Cherry sternly said. Drew

    then gave of an irratated sigh and walked towards May, who was having a hard time carrying the bags. Drew then snatched the bags from May and walked towards the kitchen.

    "Thank you Drew." May thanked Drew. Drew just ignored her and walked to the kitchen. May just looked at him sadly as Cherry patted her on the shoulder.

    "It's ok May. You'll get used to Drew and eventually he'll do the same thing." Cherry said as May let off a smile. The two girls then went back in the car to get more groceries and

    this time, with Drew helping them.

    *****

    "So May, this is your room and the bathroom is just in your right. Hope you like it here. Well at least, if you can put up with Drew." Cherry said as she let out a small chuckle. May

    looked at her room in awe. Her bed looks beautiful and so did the bathroom (Lol). Her room has a balcony, a window, a closet, and a TV set. Now all she needs to do is get her

    some clothes to wear.

    "Wow, thanks Cherry. You're so nice to me." May said and Cherry smiled.

    "You're welcome and besides, if I wasn't nice you wouldn't be living here and you would be very lonely." Cherry said as she turned to the door. "You can stroll around the house

    and your room if you want. It will take a while for me to make dinner so make yourself comfortable okay?" May nodded as Cherry went to make dinner.

    *****

    May enjoyed looking at her room. She felt very lucky it was hers. She then started walking around the house. She saw the living room and the beautiful swimming pool. After

    observing the downstairs part, she went upstairs. She the saw two rooms next to each other that was next to hers. She entered the first room closest to her and saw a lot of

    pretty stuff. The walls and ceiling were purple with Cherry Blossom stencil on it. The bed was circular and purple and so was the pilows. Near her bed was her very big closet.

    "She has a lot of clothes." May said to herself. She entered the bathroom which was Cherry scented. When she came out she noticed the picture frames next to the bed. May

    then walked towards them and looked at the very first frame. It had Cherry and her family's portrait. Next to it was Drew and his family's portrait. May looked at it with a sad

    smile. Drew was smiling in this picture. Next to the frame, May saw a picture of Cherry and Drew with a letter next to it. It looked old and a little dirty so May knew it was an old

    letter. She opened it and saw scribbly letters and a picture of Cherry. She then read the card.

    Dear Cherry,

    Hapy 13th Bday! Me hope u hav a hapy life! Me lov u!

    From,
    Drew


    May smiled at the letter and gently placed it back on the table. The rest of the frames have pictures of Cherry. May then realized that this is Cherry's room. May then walked out

    of Cherry's room and went inside the next one. Inside, she saw a plain, green room. It had a bed, a closet, a balcony, a bathroom, and other stuff that made it a pretty simple

    room. May guessed it was Drew's room and decided to leave. However, before she turned around, she spotted a mess of CDs next to the TV. She then spotted a CD that

    said "Drew's 5th birthday". May then opened the CD and played it in the TV. She then saw a lot of people in a room with a banner that said "Happy Birthday Drew!". Everyone

    was talking and laughing as Drew came in, holding Cherry's hand. Cherry then took Drew to a table for everyone to sing him happy birthday. After singing, everyone decided to

    open up presents before blowing the candles. Cherry gave him her present first which turned out to be a tricycle. Drew was contented and hugged Cherry thank you. Drew's

    parents then came up next. Drew's parents knew he loved cars and because they were overprotective, they gave him a small, red, toy car which made Drew really happy. After

    all the presents Drew took, they finally came to the candle blowing. Everyone told Drew to make a wish before blowing out the candles. Drew then made a wish and blew the

    candles.

    "What did you wish for sweetie?" Drew's mom asked. May was eager to hear as well until a loud voice turned her eagerness to fear.

    "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!"

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^

    Ok so here's the 3rd chappy! Hope ya liked it .

    If you guys are wondering, Drew was the one that shouted (Duh).

    Ooooh boy, May's in trouble.

    Now for those dramatic questions in some TV shows:

    Will Drew forgive May?

    Can May survive Drew's rage?

    Can Cherry help save May?

    And what is Cherry cookin for dinner? (Lol)

    Find out in the next chapter of "In the Arms of an Angel (a contestshipping fic)"
    Last edited by AsianAngel; 1st December 2008 at 10:18 PM.
    Life is full
    Of pain
    You cry, you smile,
    You suffer
    Fighting for a loved one
    Is full of pain
    Does it matter?




    Love hurts
    But it's a feeling that people find
    AMAZING

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    At college
    Posts
    536

    Default

    Not bad. Again try to put in more detail.

    ~Ayra~
    ^Click to go to my Fan Sprites thread, in need of some opinions^
    Sprites made of the animes:
        Spoiler:- List of animes:
    Newest series added: Bleach
    ^World of Warcraft Discussion Thread^

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    At college
    Posts
    536

    Default

    Not bad. Again try to put in more detail.

    ~Ayra~
    ^Click to go to my Fan Sprites thread, in need of some opinions^
    Sprites made of the animes:
        Spoiler:- List of animes:
    Newest series added: Bleach
    ^World of Warcraft Discussion Thread^

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Mudkip-Pikachu Swamp
    Posts
    127

    Default

    oh no! Drew the green furred monster has spotted may in his room!!
    Maybe he'll have a change of heart and watch the vid with her
    WELL we know she's gone.
    Good chappie~

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canadia
    Posts
    356

    Default

    I like how you used strong verbs, like snatched, etc. I liked the part where May was exploring the rooms,, then she got caught, but, as always, you could describe more. Beautiful houses? How so? But overall, this sory has good storyline, and it sounds interesting. There is one irritating little thing though, that's the spacing. When you space it like that it's quite hard to read.
    Please add me to the PM list.
    AUSTRIA PRUSSIA HUNGARY

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Glendale, LA, California
    Posts
    22

    Default hi

    Hi guys ! Sorry 'bout the spaces, I need my fic to look long since I didn't have that much time and I just came up with the chapter when I started typing. Sorry about the little details. I couldn't picture it either but I'll try makin it better for you guys. Oh and Ayra, you posted twice and they are the same. Erase the other one so you won't get in trouble. I'll try updating soon. Thx for reading!

    PM list
    ________
    Ayra
    kiara911
    Plusle+Minun
    ~NaTHziVOIR~
    Life is full
    Of pain
    You cry, you smile,
    You suffer
    Fighting for a loved one
    Is full of pain
    Does it matter?




    Love hurts
    But it's a feeling that people find
    AMAZING

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    In Littleroot, Hoenn
    Posts
    8

    Default

    I love this fic! i feel so bad for poor Drew though, his life was really crappy...

    I havent seen many grammar issues, and I hope the next chapter comes out soon.

    P.S. Can I be on the PM list?
    So, I herd you leik mudkipz?
    Yes, I leik mudkipz.


    Feed me pie please!!!
    You can get one too!

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    A place.
    Posts
    54

    Default

    O: Drew is full of re- erm... I mean, green fury ^^;
    A few grammar mistakes, but not too bad. Keep up the great work! ^.^

    ~Shu-sama :3
    P.S. Is there room for me on the PM list? ^__^
    Last edited by Shuukara; 15th December 2008 at 12:18 AM.
    DAML Forever

    Espeon and Umbreon are my favorite Eeveelutions!

    Shiny Goals: Beautifly (in progress), Jumpluff, Umbreon, Ninetails, Absol, Gardevoir/Gallade, Roserade, Altaria, Swellow

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Professor Oaks lab.
    Posts
    44

    Default

    Wow, this is really sad. I wonder if Drew will ever be able to snapp out of it after what he's gone through. But on the other hand, May has a very kind heart. The Master choose the right one for this mission.
    Last edited by MayfanxD; 2nd January 2009 at 5:33 AM.
    My very first fanfic: Journey to Almo (Chapter 4 up)
    -A New region
    -New friends
    -New enemies
    -New Pokemon
    and a brand new adventure

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    In your closet...
    Posts
    30

    Default

    yay! im not a big contestshipper but i like this fic. though i personally would've liked it more if they were teenagers but its still an awesome fic!
    (PS-can i also be on the PM list?)
    Last edited by @MeRoNo@; 26th December 2008 at 7:56 PM. Reason: forgot something

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •