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Thread: Pokemon: Neo Genesis (AaMayL/Advanceshipping, PG-13)

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    Note: Changed this first page to match the one I have on FF.net, so information will get to new readers quicker, but the rest will stay the same.

    Hello, and welcome to my one and only fanfic, Pokémon: Neo Genesis. This story takes place during the Diamond and Pearl series between episodes 38 and 51, as those are those are the episodes between when Brock’s Happiny hatches and Ash adopts Chimchar. Therefore, Dawn doesn’t have Aipom and Ash doesn’t have Chimchar or Buizel yet.

    The fic contains Advanceshipping, but the entire plot is not focused on it. There may also be some minor ships throughout the story, but those are mainly just to contribute to the plotline and may not turn out into a ship by the end. All in all, I will stay true to the ship. I know I labeled the story as Advanceshipping, AshxMay, AaMayL, and whatnot, but for this fic, there’s a much larger story behind everything. As a disclaimer, the real ‘shipping’ stuff won’t occur until part 2, as I have a lot of the story planned out and everything via timelines and other materials, so if you are looking for some immediate shipping material, you may be disappointed. However, there are hints dropped everywhere, but you’ll actually have to read the fic to find stuff out.

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    Index

    Part 1 - Neo Expedition
    Chapter 1 - Newcomer
    Chapter 2 - Friend or Foe or Rival
    Chapter 3 - Dogfight
    Chapter 4 - History Maker
    Chapter 5 - Dare
    Chapter 6 - Training Wheels
    Chapter 7 - Gifts and Curses
    Chapter 8 - Detour
    Chapter 9 - Cerberus
    Chapter 10 - Questions
    Chapter 11 - Silver
    Chapter 12 - Shocking
    Chapter 13 - Wonderwall
    Chapter 14 - Blinding
    Chapter 15 - Enigma
    Chapter 16 - Directed Business
    Chapter 17 - Double Edged
    Chapter 18 - Fear, Fight, Flee
    Chapter 19 - Polarity Check
    Chapter 20 - Ice Box
    Chapter 21 - East
    Chapter 22 - Truth
    Chapter 23 - Goodnight, Goodbye

    Part 2 - Neo Revelation
    Chapter 24 - Exodus
    Chapter 25 - Trial
    Chapter 26 - Premonitions
    Chapter 27 - Lost

    Holiday One-Shots
    One Spotlight - Christmas 2007
    Hiccups - New Years 2008
    Fourteenth Day, Second Month - Valentine's 2008


    --------------------

    Also, I'm going to put the PM list up here so I don't keep almost forgetting some of you guys. (Not that there are many of you guys to remember, I just have a sucky memory =P)

    Ariel_Anderson
    Earthborn
    GrizzlyB
    Lord Zant
    Pors
    Shadowheart
    swampert55
    Uzamaki Hinata

    Now for our feature presentation.

    --------------------

    Foreword

    Alright, I always start off with a foreword and end up with an afterthought. These just contain random tidbits about the chapter and whatnot, but no spoilers.

    First off, character ages. Quite an important part of the fic. Since it’s the beginning of the fic, I’ll only reveal the ages of the characters that you all know have to be in here. First off, Ash is 15 now, and this is how I present my justification for that (note: for those of you who read this on SPPf, I have changed it a bit). He spent 1 year in Kanto and Indigo Plateau, half a year on the Orange Islands, 2 years in Johto (since that actually spanned for 3 seasons in the anime, though it was mostly filler), 1 and a half years in Hoenn, and now he’s just a couple months into Sinnoh. Sounds good, no? Therefore, everyone else’s age was done according to his. Dawn is 12, Brock is 20, and May is 13.

    I’ll touch on the title of the story as well. In Latin, the word ‘neo’ means new, and ‘genesis’ has several meanings, though they all mean something like beginning, birth, or origin. So when translated, it loosely means ‘New Beginning.’ The reason for the title will probably be subtly revealed as the story goes. Also, part 1 is called Neo Expedition, which you all can figure out what that means after giving the definition of neo.

    Now that’s all I wanted to touch on. Finally, our feature presentation.

    Enjoy.

    Part 1 - Neo Expedition

    Chapter 1 - Newcomer

    Three travelers and a Pokémon were walking down a dirt road, with the traveler in the center walking slightly in front of the other two. It was mid-morning, and the weather was perfect. The sky was cloudless, there was a slight breeze, and the temperature was on the cool side, as it was around most of the Sinnoh region since it was farther north than other regions.

    The traveler walking in the center of the threesome was a Pokémon trainer. He was a rather short teenaged boy, wearing a black vest with a horizontal yellow stripe, a white T-shirt underneath, a pair of baggy blue jeans, red and black sneakers, black fingerless gloves, and finally, a red and black hat with a blue symbol on the front. Under the hat was his untidy, black hair that stuck out in multiple direction, and his large brown eyes. His build was somewhat muscular, which probably developed over the many years of traveling he had done. On his back was a green backpack that had the bare necessities he needed for his travels, and on his right shoulder was where a small yellow mouse-like Pokémon stood.

    To the trainer's right was an older male, who aspired to be a great Pokémon breeder. He was a couple inches taller than the trainer and wore an orange and grey vest with an olive green T-shirt underneath. He also wore a pair of khaki pants, white and blue sneakers, and carried a large blue backpack that contained supplies that the three travelers needed to survive in the wild. He had spiky brown hair, eyes so squinty that one could never tell if they were open or not, and a rather muscular body build.

    On the left of trainer in the center was a girl that was younger than both of the two males. Her goal was to be a great Pokémon coordinator. Although the coordinator was younger than the trainer, she was about the same height as he. She wore a white beanie cap with a pink symbol on top of her dark blue hair, yellow hair clips on both sides of her head, a black tank top, loose pink mini-skirt, knee-length black socks, and a pair of pink boots that went up her shins. On her back was a small yellow backpack that held the simple necessities needed for travel like the trainer's backpack.

    The three travelers had been walking for many days towards their next destination, Lightcrown City. There was no official Pokémon league gym or contest at Lightcrown City, but the three travelers needed to go there anyway to pick up more supplies for their journey, as well as figure out where they needed to be next.

    The day was seemingly normal, and all was quiet until a strange sound was heard.

    Growwwwllll Gurrrrgggleee

    The female member of the group immediately jumped up in surprise and shrieked.

    "What the heck was that?!" the girl squealed. She came to a stop and looked in several directions, searching for the source of the sound she had just heard.

    There was a short pause after the two male travelers came to a halt. Finally, the older male spoke up.

    "Sounded like Ash's stomach," the breeder calmly replied with a raised eyebrow.

    The coordinator quickly looked at the trainer's direction, and then at his stomach. The trainer named Ash had a nervous grin on his face as he placed his hand on his stomach.

    "How could his stomach sound so... alive!?" she asked while pointing.

    "Heh," chuckled Ash. "Guess I'm really hungry, seeing how we didn't eat breakfast 'cause we're out of food. Does my stomach really sound that scary, Dawn?" he added with a slight blush.

    "YES!" the girl named Dawn almost yelled. "You nearly scared me out of my boots. We really have to make it to Lightcrown City today, don't we Brock?"

    "We sure do," said Brock. "I seriously doubt Ash can last a day without food," he added with a chuckle.

    "Pika pika," the little mouse Pokémon laughed.

    "Aw, c'mon Pikachu, you know how my stomach is when I miss a meal," Ash said as he pulled his hat over his eyes slightly and blushing some more.

    His two companions laughed as they continued down the road, Ash following slightly behind this time.

    "You're so cute when you're embarrassed, Ash," Dawn said while giving him a wink.

    This caused Ash's face to turn even redder, since he wasn't so used to people calling him "cute," even under the circumstances. He began to drag behind the group even more.

    Dawn turned her head around again and saw how red he looked even with his hat covering part of his face. She let giggle and continued on walking.

    "Now that I think about it, he really is kind of... cute... isn't he?" As Dawn pondered that thought again she let out a small blush. "Hee hee, it's fun to embarrass Ash," she thought to herself with a smile.

    Brock silently observed the two through the corner of his eye. "Oh boy, looks like we have a situation here... Wonder if Ash even notices that she's flirting with him." He did a double take at Ash and then said to himself out loud, "Nah."

    --------------------

    The threesome continued walking on the road normally after their short conversation. The land around the road wasn't the normal plain grasslands they usually traveled through however. There was other vegetation around, such as bushes, trees, hedgerows, and plants, all of different shapes and sizes, that decorated the landscape around the road. It was perfect for many things, such as foraging for berries, sleeping under trees, hiding... launching ambushes...

    Out of no where, a pair of rubber gloved hands flew out of a large bush and grabbed Pikachu off of Ash's shoulder.

    "Pikapi!" cried the little mouse Pokémon.

    The hands quickly retracted back towards the bush and just as Ash, Dawn, and Brock turned their heads towards Pikachu's cries, the ground underneath them collapsed.

    "WAHHH!!" the three shouted.

    The three travelers landed with a loud thud, and after the dust had cleared, Ash spoke up first.

    "Owww," groaned Ash. "What happened?"

    When his eyes finally regained their focus, he noticed that he had fallen into some kind of hole. He also noticed there was something, or rather someone on top of him. It was Dawn, and she wasn't just on top of him. Her body was parallel to his body and pressing against it while her arms held onto his shoulders. Her face was also just a couple of inches away from his, but her eyes were closed. If one was to look at the scene from the side, it would have looked extremely suggestive. It took a few seconds for Ash to register in his mind how close they were and he when he did he gave a short yelp.

    Dawn opened her eyes after hearing him, but before she could say or do anything, loud laughter exploded at the opening of the pitfall.

    "Looks like the twerps have once again fell into our simple little contraption," a female voice cackled.

    "You'd think they'd learn something after the thousands of time they've fell into them," chuckled a male voice.

    "How 'bouts we stop laughing over 'dem twerpies and get's outa here now that we gots Pikachu." a slightly high pitched voice rang out.

    "What about the mott-"

    "Forget 'da motto! Let's jus' scram before 'da twerps can react!" the high pitch voice yelled annoyingly.

    "Right!" The male and female voice said at the same time.

    It didn't take the pitfall victims long to figure out who had set up the trap. However, as they stood up ready for battle, they heard running footsteps heading away from the hole.

    "Team Rocket! Come back here with Pikachu!" Ash hollered angrily, instantly forgetting the embarrassing situation that occurred earlier. He threw one of his Pokéballs and a black and white bird Pokémon appeared out of the flash.

    "Staravia, Catch up to Team Rocket and bring Pikachu back!"

    "Staraaavia!", to bird Pokémon complied to the order and instantly flew out of the hole.

    Dawn threw a Pokéball out of the hole as well and said, "Buizel, you follow Team Rocket too!"

    A weasel-like Pokémon came out of the flash of the Pokéball and immediately started chasing after the three crooks as well. Ash, Dawn, and Brock could only stand in the hole and wait for their Pokémon to return...

    -------------------

    The seconds were turning into minutes and there was no sign of the two Pokémon sent by their masters to fight Team Rocket. Ash was beginning to become worried and he began pacing around the perimeter of their pitfall prison.

    "What if-," but before he could finish his sentence, an ear-shattering explosion resonated through the air. The three travelers covered their ears in an attempt to cut out the sound of the explosion that could break their eardrums.

    The sound of the explosion lingered for ten whole seconds before subsiding and everything became quiet once again.

    "That... WAS LOUD!" Dawn shouted with a bit of fright in her voice.

    "What do you made that explosion?" asked Brock while putting a hand to his chin.

    "Maybe, maybe it was Team Rocket's balloon?" Ash said. "I hope you're alright Pikachu."

    Dawn noticed Ash's worried looks and walked up next to him. Ash noticed her motions and turned around to give her a little smile to let her know he was alright.

    The three of them continued waiting for their Pokémons' return. After a couple minutes, a sound above could be heard, and Ash, Dawn, and Brock looked up towards the opening of the hole. As the sound got closer, they could recognize that it was the sound of footsteps walking towards the hole.

    "Buizel, is that you?" Dawn called out.

    "Are you there too Pikachu and Staravia?" Ash called as well.

    The footsteps continued walking closer to the hole, and after what seemed like an eternity, they came to a stop. Ash, Dawn, and Brock all held their breath at this.

    "Pi-Pikachu? Staravia?" Ash said one more time, more nervously.

    The suspense of waiting was killing him, but right as he was about to call out again, a dark figure looked over the top of the hole.

    It was a head.

    A human head.

    --------------------

    Afterthought

    So, what'd you all think? I decided to start the story with something that could have happened in the anime, to create the right atmosphere. And look, Team Rocket even makes an appearance in the first chapter! Except I'm sad to say I don't know when I'll have them return, for any of you Rocketfans. The team's not part of my main plot, but I may find a place or two to stick them in, for comic relief probably.

    I've already had a couple people read over this chapter and point out some errors. Now that I look back again, I've found quite a number of other errors, which I of course fixed for this reposting, but please tell me any other errors you find. Well, reviews, comments, suggestions, even flames will be greatly appreciated. I know it sounds weird, but I somewhat do enjoy criticism, since it's the best way to improve yourself in anything.

    Thank you for reading.
    Last edited by cichawk; 11th January 2009 at 6:07 AM.

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    Cool, first post... I think.
    Anyway, I think this is quite well written (I didn't notice any grammatical errors, which I'm generally particular about), and if you continue writing it, it could be the next great... Advanceshipping fic.

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    Woot! A first reader within the first half hour I've posted this! Hehe, sorry, I just didn't think anybody would have read it so soon and so early in the morning. (At least where I live)

    Anyway, thank you for your insight on this work in progress. It kinda surprised me that someone already thinks that this fic can go somewhere. Hopefully others will feel the same way.

    And yes I did spend a lot of time checking for grammatical and spelling errors, and many, many other aspects of this story since I'm somewhat of a perfectionist. I take my writing very seriously, especially after I just completed a SAT writing class today.

    Alright, I have to learn to keep my posts to a minimum... as well as restraining myself from replying to every comment or review someone makes, heh.
    Last edited by cichawk; 24th July 2007 at 6:28 AM.

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    Hi! I wanna give you some reinforcement! I know what you feel like. My fic was my fourth-ish post, and I was very nervous. It gets reviewed, and, as I find yours much better written, I think your reviews will be of an even greater quantity, and you can bet that I make quite a few of them. Good luck.

    Anyway, I really like it so far. You may say that your first chapter is unimpressive, but I thought it was still all shiny ang glorious in the "In character" Aspect. It really did seem like something that would occur in the Anime.

    I couldn't see any gurmeticul errurz, nope, nun uv thum? But, I'm not fresh out of my SAT, either. I trust your run-throughs to be quality.

    And now for the speculation. I think that the mysterious head is probably either... May or Gary. No more refined answer than that. I am...afraid... of what Dawn will do when May shows up, she is already so flirty with Ash, and I assume that this will pick up as a defensive mechanism.

    And finally, DON'T RUSH YOURSELF WITH THIS. IF you are no longer enjoying the writing, slow down, relish it more. Make it a wellspring of fun for everyone. (Rhyme not intended.)

    ~Zant~

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    "You're so cute when you're embarrased, Ash," Dawn said while giving him a wink.
    Shouldn't embarrassed have 2 s's?

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    Well g'mornin' everybody. Crap I overslept, since I stayed up until 3 a.m. writing up chapter three, which I actually haven't finished still. Geez I take way too long with this stuff.

    I feel like crap right now, no morning run for me today.

    All right, well I want to thank you, Lord Zant, for insightful input and also swampert55 for catching a spelling error. You're right, embarrassed does have two S's. And as I went back to fix the error, I found another two spelling errors with the word embarrassed in it. Heh, I should pay more attention to the little red lines under misspelled that Mozilla Firefox has put for me.

    Hi! I wanna give you some reinforcement! I know what you feel like. My fic was my fourth-ish post, and I was very nervous. It gets reviewed, and, as I find yours much better written, I think your reviews will be of an even greater quantity, and you can bet that I make quite a few of them. Good luck.
    Heh, I want to thank you for your support here, as this is a whole new thing I've never done before, and was something I never thought I'd actually do. Before, I was just the simple teenaged guy hanging out with friends, playing music in our band, video games, sports, you know, all the normal "guy-ish" stuff. Now I'm writing fics for a children's show, which made me hesitant at first. Well of course I got over that awkwardness since I realized it's ok to take interest in something like Pokemon and take it a bit further into fandom too, so here I am, enjoying this new fic writing hobby of mine. I just hope it lasts.

    Anyway, I really like it so far. You may say that your first chapter is unimpressive, but I thought it was still all shiny ang glorious in the "In character" Aspect. It really did seem like something that would occur in the Anime.
    Heh, I was just afraid that the first chapter would be too dull, and so then people wouldn't bother reading it. Glad to see it sparks some sort of interest in readers.

    I couldn't see any gurmeticul errurz, nope, nun uv thum? But, I'm not fresh out of my SAT, either. I trust your run-throughs to be quality.
    Yeah, I've been beaten and molded by my mom to take a heavy focus in my writing since it is something you will use throughout your whole life.

    And now for the speculation. I think that the mysterious head is probably either... May or Gary. No more refined answer than that. I am...afraid... of what Dawn will do when May shows up, she is already so flirty with Ash, and I assume that this will pick up as a defensive mechanism.
    Wow, even speculation for my story! I didn't quite expect that. Well I, like most people, hate spoilers, so I'll just keep quiet about the mysterious person. And as for the Dawn and May interaction, I am using my best girl intuition (If it's possible for a guy to have any) to try to imagine how the two girls would react to each other and whatnot. But I haven't written a chapter with May in it yet, so that can still wait.

    And finally, DON'T RUSH YOURSELF WITH THIS. IF you are no longer enjoying the writing, slow down, relish it more. Make it a wellspring of fun for everyone. (Rhyme not intended.)
    Well, at the rate I'm writing, the story itself is definitely not being rushed. I should however, probably not stay up past 2 a.m. next time when I'm writing, as I am feeling the consequences of that right now.

    Well thank you for taking the time to R and R, Lord Zant. I would like another good review or two before posting up my second chapter for a little more input and advice. Oh, and readers, don't be afraid to totally rip and tear (overdid the effects a little) at whatever you find strange or wrong in the story. Also speak up if you don't one part and ask questions if something seems confusing. I won't take any offense if you write something a little harsh, since that is what will make me a better writer in the long run. No pain no gain... except lack of sleep is all pain and no gain.
    Last edited by cichawk; 24th July 2007 at 4:28 PM.

  7. #7
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    hmm, another AS fic, I'm liking it already.

    Well okay, I understand how advanceshipping can't come in at first, and that's a-okay. Sometimes when you present your main ship right off the bat, the rest of the story kinda falls, but then, it depends on the author.

    I think pearlshipping is kinda cute though, so it didn't bother me that much, and, awww, Ash blushed, hee hee. I liked it when Dawn was like:
    "How could his stomach sound so... alive!?"

    oooh, she got Ash!

    This fanfic seems interesting so far. Most advanceshipping writers I know write a story where Dawn doesn't exist or the story takes place before Dawn shows OR the flame Dawn like crazy so AshXMay look better(I don't like flaming)

    Which makes me say, I really hope you don't have flaming, but other than that! Good luck on your fanfic, for a beginner, you seem awfully good!
    And oh yeah, if there's a PM list, add me on plz!

    Well g'mornin' everybody. Crap I overslept, since I stayed up until 3 a.m. writing up chapter three, which I actually haven't finished still. Geez I take way too long with this stuff.
    lol, I don't know anyone who DOESN'T stay up that late to finish something for their fanfic.

    Can't wait for the second chap!
    ~*Uza-chan's Good bye*~

    IS SUPAH FIIIINE

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    Awesome, another reviewer, welcome to my humble story. =P


    hmm, another AS fic, I'm liking it already.
    Glad to hear that, looks like I might actually have a thing for writing fics eh?

    Well okay, I understand how advanceshipping can't come in at first, and that's a-okay. Sometimes when you present your main ship right off the bat, the rest of the story kinda falls, but then, it depends on the author.
    True 'dat. I have quite a plot set up at the moment for this current arc, and who knows what other plots might appear after the first.

    I think pearlshipping is kinda cute though, so it didn't bother me that much, and, awww, Ash blushed, hee hee. I liked it when Dawn was like:
    "How could his stomach sound so... alive!?"

    oooh, she got Ash!
    Heh yea I think Dawn is quite... interesting... especially with her um, traveling attire. Actually, I think the reason why I got back into Pokemon was because I heard of Diamond and Pearl anime coming out in the US, and that just brought my childhood of watching the Original Series on Kids WB Sunday mornings.

    This fanfic seems interesting so far. Most advanceshipping writers I know write a story where Dawn doesn't exist or the story takes place before Dawn shows OR the flame Dawn like crazy so AshXMay look better(I don't like flaming)

    Which makes me say, I really hope you don't have flaming, but other than that! Good luck on your fanfic, for a beginner, you seem awfully good!
    And oh yeah, if there's a PM list, add me on plz!
    I really don't have anything against any of the characters. Well, actually I don't really know any of the characters besides ones from the Original Series through the beginning of Johto, which is where I am in my viewing of the anime through my torrent downloads. (Don't hurt me!) I am basing a lot of the character personality and traits through other fics that I have read and through what I read on Wikipedia and Bulbapedia, so if I ever do anything that seems to break the canon or make a character too out of character, please tell me.

    The only character that does somewhat irk me is Drew. Now I haven't seen him in the anime yet, but from what I read and see, he seems like the stereotypical pretty boy/popular guy type. Not that I really have anything against people like that, it's just I'm more of the Ash type, the nice guy, so I guess that's why I picked Advanceshipping. Hey, I sure learning a lot about myself through responding to all your comments and reviews. =P

    Oh, and thank you for the compliments, they really help boosts my self-esteem. By the way, what exactly is a PM list? From what I read in the rules post, authors have a PM list and send PM's to readers that have been added when there is an update, am I correct? I guess I could start one, but isn't there a subscribe to thread feature on these forums? I use it for this story thread. But now that I think about it, the subscription feature sends PM's for every post in the thread, so I guess people don't want their inboxes getting spammed up? Hm, alright, I will start a list. #1 - Uzamaki Hinata! (That's from Naruto I presume?)

    lol, I don't know anyone who DOESN'T stay up that late to finish something for their fanfic.

    Can't wait for the second chap!
    ...Crap.

    --------------------

    Well, that's two reviews, which was all I really wanted before releasing chapter two. Here it goes...
    Last edited by cichawk; 24th July 2007 at 8:31 PM.

  9. #9
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    I hope it's not against the rules to double post in your own story...

    Anyway, in each chapter, I have decided to include a foreword and afterthought in each chapter explaining some things or giving some more insight here or there, or even letting you all in a little on my personal life. Heh, not that it's very interesting or anything... but when I ramble, I tend to say a lot of something and nothing. Of course, everything is optional to read.

    Foreword

    Well, here's chapter two of Pokemon: Neo Genesis. Some of you might wonder what Neo Genesis means, and why I decided to name my fic that. Well, it's Greek, as some of you have already known. Neo is a prefix for "new" or something like that, and Genesis means birth, creation, beginning, source, etc. You all might also recognize it as it being one of the names of a Pokemon TCG set. Greek has also been quite an inspiring language to me, even though I'm Asian. (Taiwanese)

    Well part one is called Neo Expedition 'cause it pretty much means "New Expedition," which is what is going to happen as the chapters move forward. The word expedition is English obvious.

    Well, that's all I have to say on my mind that doesn't spoil anything. Be sure to read the afterthought for some interesting information on things I did in the chapter.

    Enjoy.

    --------------------

    Chapter 2 - Friend or Foe or Rival

    Ash, Dawn, and Brock all froze at the sight. Even though they couldn't see the person's face because of the light shining down into the dark hole, they were all nervous nonetheless. The three prisoners were expecting to see the faces of their Pokemon, but the appearance of the strange visitor was somehow unnerving.

    Minutes that seemed like hours passed, until Brock built up the courage to speak.

    "Uhh... excuse us... but would you mind giving us a hand here... please?" Brock always seemed to be able to act polite even in the most tense situations.

    The dark figure looked down into the hole for another few seconds before it withdrew out of sight. Another couple of seconds passed and a rope was dropped down into the hole. Ash walked up to the rope and gave it a tug, to make sure it was tied on to something on the other end.

    "Er, guess that person threw down this rope for us to climb... so who wants to climb up first?" asked Ash with some uneasiness in his voice.

    Neither Dawn or Brock looked very excited about being freed of their pitfall prison at the moment, as they both looked at Ash with a bit of angst.

    "How about you go up first, huh Ash?" Dawn said with a nervous grin. "I bet you can handle whatever you find up there. Unless you're... scared?" She knew that would push his buttons.

    Ash returned her nervous smile with a new look of determination. "Whadya mean scared? I've faced tons of dangerous things before like killer Pokemon! Some strange, creepy person's not gonna scare me!" However, his eyes said otherwise.

    Dawn let out a giggle and continued teasing him. "Well then, show me that you're as big and brave as you say then."

    "I-I will!" Ash said with force while turning slightly red.

    "Are we ever going to go up?" Brock said with slight annoyance.

    "I'm going I'm going!" Ash took the rope and looked up. He gave a small gulp, closed his eyes, and then began scaling the side of the hole.

    Closing his eyes was definitely a bad idea, as he immediately lost his footing on the side of the hole and fell right back down.

    "Ahhh!" He groaned as he rubbed his rear.

    "C'mon Ash, be a man," Dawn taunted with a flirtatious voice.

    Ash blushed some more and mumbled something under his breath before grabbing the rope again.

    Brock shook his head at Ash and took a look at Dawn. "Heh, I wonder what would happen if SHE was here. It hasn't been that long since she left for Johto, but then again, she's probably hanging out with Mr. Rose-Guy. Wonder if she still thinks about Ash." He took one last look at Ash before finally concluding to himself, "Girls will forever be a mystery, even to me."

    -------------------

    After a minute of climbing, Ash finally made it to the top of the hole he had been imprisoned in.

    "I really gotta think of something to use to detect these stupid holes..." he grumbled to himself.

    As Ash waited for his companions to scale the hole, he remembered that someone had thrown the rope to them in the first place. He quickly turned around several times to look for the person that had helped them, but saw no one. Right then, another thought hit him. Where were Pikachu, Staravia, and Buizel? He quickly went back to his worried state and started calling out their names.

    "Pikachu! Staravia! Buizel! Where are you guys?"

    After a few minutes of yelling some more, Brock and Dawn finally rejoined him at the top of the hole.

    "Wh-Where are our Pokemon? And that weird guy too?" Dawn panted as she wasn't as used to climbing out of holes as Ash and Brock were.

    Ash and Dawn's eyes met, and in an instant, they began to panic, but Brock being the older and wiser one of the three, began to think of the situation in a logical fashion. While his two younger companions began to run around in circles babbling, Brock decided to survey the scene. It didn't take him long to find something close by. Before Ash and Dawn could break down any more, Brock pulled both their arms and spun them towards the tree the rope was tied to.

    "Try checking over there," Brock stated simply while pointing.

    The two of them calmed down a bit and stared at Brock with confused looks before walking towards the tree, with Brock following closely behind.

    Around the tree the rope was tied to was some bushes that shrouded whatever was beyond it, so the three had to wade their way through before seeing what was on the other side. When they emerged from the bushes, what they saw surprised them.

    A male person was kneeling under another tree a couple of feet away from them, with his back turned towards them, as he seemed to be tending to something on the ground. His features couldn't be seen clearly since he was under the shade of the tree though. The three travelers looked at one another with hesitant looks before deciding that they had to approach the mysterious person. As Ash, Dawn, and Brock came out of the bushes to confront him, he instantly stopped what he was doing and stood up. The threesome stopped in their tracks as he made the motion, and the air became tense around all of them. Nobody dared to made a single movement.

    Finally, someone spoke up. It was the strange person that stood before the three.

    "You all alright?"

    A shiver was sent down the spines of the three travelers, as the speaker's voice was extremely deep. The person still didn't turn around to face them.

    "Uhh, yes, we are!" answered Ash with uncertainty in his voice. After regaining his thoughts, he questioned on. "Oh yeah, um, did you happen to see our Pokemon, Pikachu, Staravia, and Buizel?"

    "Right here," answered the ominous figure. He stepped to the side, revealing the three Pokemon. Pikachu was unscratched and appeared to be sleeping. However, Staravia and Buizel's conditions were much worse. Upon closer examination, it could be seen that the two Pokemon had many wounds on their bodies, some looking to be quite severe. They were unconscious as well, and looked to be in pain. The worry meter instantly shot up within the trainer, coordinator, and breeder.

    "Staravia!" shouted Ash. "What happened to you, are you alright?"

    "Buizel! Oh please be alright." Dawn said worriedly.

    As the three began to approach, the strange person standing between them and the Pokemon turned around, finally revealing himself. Ash, Dawn, and Brock froze as he did this. He still stood in the shadows, but now the threesome could now see his features.

    The mysterious person actually looked to be... a teenager! In fact, he looked to be only a little older than Ash but younger than Brock. However, he still looked somewhat intimidating to Ash, since he was about the same height as Brock, though a lot skinnier. Not a scrawny skinny though, but more of a slim skinny. He wore a black fleece jacket over a plain white T, baggy blue jeans similar to Ash's, though more faded in color, and black sneakers with a few orange stripes on the sides. He also had a backpack with a single strap that went across his chest, where six Pokeballs of various colors were attached.

    The boy's face could also be seen through the shadows when examined more closely by the three. He had a thin face with somewhat messy black hair slightly shorter than Ash's, though instead of sticking out in every direction, it simply went down on the sides of his face, covering his forehead and a the sides of his head. The back of his hair was another story though, as that part was longer and stuck out messily which made it look like he had a short mane. His face was also clean shaven except for his chin, where a small goatee could be seen forming. He had a "normal" sized nose and a mouth that was on the small side.

    His eyes and ears were a bigger item of interest though. He had piercing, yet also tired looking, eyes that looked to be pure black. Everyone knows that there are no such thing as black eyes but the teenager's eyes definitely looked black. "His eyes are actually kinda... nice," thought Dawn. His ears, or rather, his right ear also held a unique trait. The teenaged boy's right earlobe was actually missing a small piece, like it had been cut off. It wasn't a large amount, and it wasn't extremely noticable, but when scanning him closely, it was definitely visible.

    "Tee hee, he's actually not that creepy. Actually, I think he's kind of handsome, in a sort of rugged way."

    "Whoa, what's with this guy. He acts all mysterious and stuff but he turns out to be just a normal guy... well, except for his eyes and that right ear."

    "Hmm, this guy seems like he knows how to care for wounded Pokemon... I wonder what kind of food he uses."

    As Ash, Dawn, and Brock silently thought to themselves, the boy started to walk towards them. For some reason, all the tension and nervousness left their bodies.

    "Your Pokemon will be alright," the teenaged boy said in his deep voice. "They just had a tough battle with those two crooks and that Meowth."

    "Wait a sec, a tough battle? With Team Rocket?" Brock said incredulously.

    "Well, most battles are pretty tough when you're outnumbered six to two. Not to mention the Pokemon also didn't have their trainers giving orders."

    "Huh? You mean Team Rocket actually fought back in an organized manner?" Ash said with a look of disbelief on his face.

    "You try fighting so many opponents with just one partner next time," the teenager said without changing his tone. "It's not like your Pokemon are invincible you know."

    That comment broke a tiny fiber in Ash's brain.

    "Hey! Are you implying that my Pokemon are weaker than yours?" Ash was taking the other guy's comments the wrong way, and Brock and Dawn could only sigh at that. Some days it seems like all the maturing that Ash had done over the years would disappear when he met a new rival. Not that this person was even a rival yet since he hadn't battled Ash.

    "No."

    "Then what did you mean by that?"

    "I just meant that they're not invincible."

    "Well, they're pretty damned strong that's for sure."

    "Do you have to cuss? It doesn't amplify the effect that your words have on me."

    Ash could only growl at the other boy after that. He was quickly being outsmarted and he had to regain his dignity somehow. He said the one thing that he always said when he was being ticked off.

    "Fine! Then I challenge you to a battle!" Ash yelled while pointing his finger at the other.

    The two teenagers looked at each other for several seconds. Ash had a look of determination on his face while the other had an impassive look. Finally, the other boy responded to the challenge.

    "Um, don't you think you should take care of your wounded Pokemon first?"

    Ash's brain finally snapped back in place at that and he glanced over at his two Pokemon lying under the tree. Dawn was already caring for Buizel and he immediately felt a wave of embarrassment and shame overtake him.

    "You-you're right," Ash said as he looked down.

    ------------------

    After a half hour of medical care from Brock, Staravia and Buizel were back on their feet and talons, looking better than ever. The wounds that the Pokemon received in the battle with Team Rocket turned out to be rather minor battle wounds, which is no surprise since it was Team Rocket they had been fighting. Pikachu didn't suffer any wounds since it was captive during the whole battle and was back up and running almost as soon as Brock started treating him. Ash, Dawn, and Brock decided to let out all their Pokemon for some food and exercise, since it was already almost noon. Unfortunately, Brock was down to his last batch of Pokemon food how, so the food was rationed in smaller amounts, more being given to the battle-weary Pokemon.

    Since Brock had no human food left, he and his friends had to skip another meal until they got to Lightcrown City. The newcomer didn't seem to have any food either, or he just didn't feel like eating any. All in all, there was no food for Ash, Dawn, and Brock, and Ash was starting to get grumpy after not having any food for a long time. He also felt guilty about not caring for his Pokemon as soon as he could, but didn't forget about how the other boy had embarrassed him. As soon as things settled down and they all sat down to relax, with the exception of the newcomer, his mind began to fire up again. Dawn noticed how Ash stared angrily at the other guy, who was standing on the other side of the clearing they were in, looking into the light blue sky.

    "Hm, the cute, fiery one... or the handsome, cool one... tee hee this is getting interesting! Well, maybe I should be a good girl and help Ash settle this silly little dispute..."

    "Hey Ash, you know, maybe instead of you being all ticked off at that guy, you should remember that he helped our Pokemon out in battle." Dawn said cheerily.

    "Hmph, maybe our Pokemon didn't need help. Maybe they were about to finish off Team Rocket before Mr. Big-Shot over there decided to interfere." Ash said while furrowing his eyebrows.

    "Oh come on Ash, you weren't there to see it happen. None of us were. And you saw how our Pokemon were hurt, he probably saved them for all we know." Dawn was getting slightly annoyed at Ash's stubborn attitude.

    "Whatever, that guy still needs to battle me. I'll show him."

    "Why are you all over his case anyway? It's not like he actually said anything bad to you."

    "I don't know!" Ash was loosing his cool again. "It's just the way he... argh I don't know! I guess it's how he's just so cool and impassive about everything. It's almost like... almost like he has no emotions!"

    "Ash, you just met the guy. Take the time to get to know him before jumping to your silly conclusions." Dawn added a playful knock to his head as she said this.

    Ash only grumbled as he stood up to walk to the opposite end of the clearing from where the other teenager stood.

    "Dawn's got a point. It is kind of silly how I'm already judging him from the few words we exchanged... guess I'll try to have a friendlier conversation with him some other time, after I challenge him to a battle again of course."

    Ash turned around to take a look at the other guy, who still stood motionless in the same spot he had been standing in the entire time. He then looked at his Pokemon and thought that now that they've all been healed and fed, it was a good time to battle. Before Ash had a chance to challenge him however, Dawn had taken the chance to initiate a conversation with the tall teenager.

    "Excuse me uh, mister, but I've been meaning to ask what happened between you and Team Rocket." As the teenaged boy turned around, Dawn felt herself feeling warmer in the face.

    "Oh, please don't call me mister, I really don't think I'm that much older than you to deserve that title." replied the tall boy as he cracked a small smile down towards Dawn.

    "Oh, sorry mist- I mean... actually, I just realized I don't even know your name yet!"

    "Likewise."

    "Hehe, my name is Dawn," giggled the coordinator as she held her hands behind her back and leaned in slightly.

    "Altaďr," the teenaged boy said simply.

    "Ooo, that's a prett- I mean, nice name," she had caught herself just in time.

    "Well, I dunno about that. That's just what my... father, named me. It means 'The Flyer' in Greek," Altaďr's eyes seemed to sadden a tiny bit when he said the last part but Dawn was too caught up in their conversation to notice. "What are those two guy's names?" he continued on.

    "Oh, the one standing over there is Ash, and the one feeding the Pokemon is Brock," she answered while pointing to the both of them.

    "Hm, alright. I think I might as well respond to Ash's request for a battle now." Altaďr said as he started walking towards Ash's location.

    "Oh uh, well..." but Dawn couldn't say anymore as Altaďr had already left the vicinity. She was quite disappointed that their conversation had to end so soon.

    "Grrrr, why do boys always have to battle first and talk later? They'll never learn... well except Brock. He's totally the other way around." she quickly followed after Altaďr as he walked closer towards Ash.

    Brock observed everything that went on as he fed the Pokemon and began to become interested in what would happen next. He quickly finished feeding his Happiny and ran over to where everybody else was converging. "This could get interesting."

    Ash noticed Altaďr coming closer and quickly acted like he hadn't been listening to the conversation between Altaďr and Dawn. He whistled a little tune and peered out of the corner of his eye one more time before Altaďr stopped and stood before him.

    "Ready for a battle?"

    --------------------

    Afterthought

    All right! New character in chapter two for you all, and he's not just gonna come and go. No way would I give such a clear description of Altaďr and just let him go soon after. He's a lot more than meets the eye. Hehe, slight spolier there.

    Anyway, you're all probably wondering why there is an ď in Altaďr. Well, the ď changes the way you pronounce it. Instead of it being all-tare, it is actually pronounced all-tay-ear. Heh, I seem to be growing a fetish for the Greek language. I got the name from the game Assassin's Creed, which is coming out on the XBox 360 and PC in September. It looks to be a great game, so check out some vids on Youtube if you're a gamer like I am. I don't actually own a 360 yet, but when I make enough money from doing jobs and from cash presents for my 16th, (Which is on August 5th, throwing my party on the 3rd) I'm gonna go pick one up before I leave for my Taiwanese summer camp on the 5th. (So coincidental)

    I decided to name my character Altaďr because... well, I actually I can't reveal the reason at the moment since it will definentely spoil many things. But, a reason why I did choose it was because it's just a plain cool name.

    Now Altaďr is not based on the one from Assassin's Creed. If you're observant, you may have noticed that I seemed to give a lot of descriptions of Altaďr, like I had his exact image in my head. Well, in fact, I do have an exact image of him in my head, because he's based off... me! Yeah I know, that's kind of corny, but I've always wanted to imagine myself in the Pokemon world, so I decided this fic would be a great way to somehow put myself in while not actually putting myself in.

    I really don't know how to describe myself that well though, so just use your imagination. However, though Altaďr is based on my appearance, he is supposed to be a lot better looking, as Dawn noticed. I like to just think of my own appearance as one of an "average" guy. No I am not superficial or anything, it's just the way I think of myself. Altaďr's personality even reflects mine a little bit too, which is basically just being blunt and down to Earth. My speech towards unfamiliar people is usually short and straight to the point, like how Altaďr spoke to Ash and company. I also dislike arrogance and hot-heads, but I always resort to words rather than violence to deal with the types. I have never actually fought a person in my life, and I am also somewhat timid and casual unless I am around people I am familiar with. Don't worry, you will see another side of Altaďr when he begins to get familiar with the crew, which I guess would be my other side as well. Well, I hope me talking about all this is not too boring for you all. I still have some more to say.

    I decided (though somewhat unintentionally) to have Ash lose his cool even though that isn't seen so often in the recent episodes. (I have watched most of the Diamond and Pearl episodes, dubbed) It seems like he has greatly matured over the years of the anime, but I wanted people to remember how he used to be as well, as I have been watching the whole series from the beginning. (On episode 151 or something right now) Of course, it helped show Altaďr's personality a bit, but the reason stated above was my main objective. Reminiscence is goood.

    I think that's about all I have to say. I'll start a PM list as Uzamaki Hinata mentioned, so be sure to tune in for chapter three when I finish it and put it up. A thrilling battle between the two trainers and a showing of Altaďr's Pokemon as well!
    Last edited by cichawk; 27th April 2008 at 5:46 AM.

  10. #10
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    Ash said with a look of unbelief on his face.
    It's disbelief not unbelief.
    And, uh, when you make the PM list please put me on it.

  11. #11
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    Cool, a new chapter. Yay!

    Hm, I was really expecting May to be the one to save them, but Altair seems nifty, too. Guess Ash/May interaction has to wait... (poo)

    When I said this could be the next big Advanceshipping fic, I was thinking that it was a lot like PikamasterADV's and other's great shipping stories in the beginning (which is good, of course)(if you were wondering).

    Well written again, although I did notice some errors this time (I kinda read it more carefully...)

    You put "most tense" near the beginning, but "tensest" works fine. And a few paragraphs later, you spelled "immediately" as "immediatly".

    The two of them calmed down a bit and stared at Brock with confused looks before walking towards the tree, with Brock followed closely behind.
    It should be "following", not "followed".

    It wasn't a large amount, and it wasn't extremely noticabe, but when scanning him closely, it was definently visible.
    Instead of "noticabe", it should be "noticeable", and "definitely" instead of "definently" (which you wrote a few times).

    There were a couple more, but nothing big, just like the ones I pointed out. Eh, I'm probably just nitpicking too much.

  12. #12
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    Thank you for catching that error, swampert55.

    Cool, a new chapter. Yay!

    Hm, I was really expecting May to be the one to save them, but Altair seems nifty, too. Guess Ash/May interaction has to wait... (poo)
    Let's see, May should appear in... about two or three chapters, but there won't be any interaction between them until a little later.

    When I said this could be the next big Advanceshipping fic, I was thinking that it was a lot like PikamasterADV's and other's great shipping stories in the beginning (which is good, of course)(if you were wondering).
    Well, that's what I hope this fic can be one day. But it's gonna take a lot of time and effort, not that I mind. This is pretty fun. =)

    Well written again, although I did notice some errors this time (I kinda read it more carefully...)

    You put "most tense" near the beginning, but "tensest" works fine. And a few paragraphs later, you spelled "immediately" as "immediatly".



    It should be "following", not "followed".



    Instead of "noticabe", it should be "noticeable", and "definitely" instead of "definently" (which you wrote a few times).

    There were a couple more, but nothing big, just like the ones I pointed out. Eh, I'm probably just nitpicking too much.
    I think I'll take your advice for the tense part. Heh, mixed the tense with follow too.

    Well, I guess the reason for all my spelling errors is that I'm writing on Wordpad, which has no built in spell check. Oh well, I guess using Wordpad tests how well I can spell.

    I'll get onto fixing them.

    Also, chapter three almost done. As I mentioned before, there's quite a battle in it.

    P.S. Did you want to be in the PM list GrizzlyB?
    Last edited by cichawk; 25th July 2007 at 4:12 AM.

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    Huh? What? I had no idea you had a PM List! If you don't mind, will you add my name?

    Anyway, all of my guesses about the head, written or not, were wrong... Oh well. I like your OC, he semms kind-of like Paul to me, (Except nicer) and I look forward to his battle with Ash. I hope he has some really cool Pokemon.

    Can't wait for Chapter Three!

    ~LZ~

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    Huh? What? I had no idea you had a PM List! If you don't mind, will you add my name?
    Yeah I decided to create one, though I don't know how to exactly operate it... all I have is a Notepad with some names on it, who are the people I send PM's to when I post a new chapter. That is how it works right? Well, anyway, I typed your name up.

    Anyway, all of my guesses about the head, written or not, were wrong... Oh well. I like your OC, he semms kind-of like Paul to me, (Except nicer) and I look forward to his battle with Ash. I hope he has some really cool Pokemon.
    Heh, I think I did mention I had a new character in my first post under the "Please read this part" heading. =P

    Hm, a nice Paul? Somewhat of a paradox, no? Wait, that means I'm kind of like Paul, kek.

    Can't wait for Chapter Three!
    I actually am done with it, but I think I'll wait until I get a little written for chapter four before putting it up, so I don't begin to fall behind. Whew, this is hard work.

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    Chapter 3 is already done!? Wow you write fast.

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    Chapter 3 is already done!? Wow you write fast.
    Orly? I thought I wrote somewhat slow-ish. Well i did have two chapters already completed when I started posting this fic up.

    Foreword

    Well, here's the battle. I bet there's gonna be a helluva lotta spelling errors, awkward wordings, etc. If you find any, please don't hesitate to point it out. Well, time to see Altaďr's Pokemon, which will reveal the Pokemon I have um... fetish in.

    --------------------

    Chapter 3 - Dogfight

    Ash and Altaďr stood at the opposite ends of the clearing, battle ready. Ash had that fiery look in his brown eyes every time he was going into a battle, and he wasn't prepared to lose. Altaďr on the other hand, just stood up straight with that impassive look he seemed to always have in his black eyes and face.

    "So how many Pokemon?" asked Altaďr plainly.

    "How 'bout we go with two?" Ash answered back loudly.

    "I'll be the referee for this match," Brock announced as he walked towards the center of the field. "This will be a two on two Pokemon battle between Ash and Altaďr. No time limit. Choose your Pokemon now and begin the battle!"

    Ash's eyes intensified as he looked down towards where Altaďr stood. "All right, time to give you a taste of what I can do! Pikachu, you're up first," Ash said to his yellow friend.

    "Pikachu pi!" shouted the little mouse Pokemon while letting small sparks erupt from his cheeks.

    Altaďr stood still and looked at Pikachu for several seconds before moving his hand up to one of his Pokeballs on the single strap of his backpack. His Pokeballs weren't quite the same as other Pokeballs, however. They were the same design as normal Pokeballs, but instead of being red and white, they all had another color on top of the usual white half. From the top of the strap to the bottom, there were teal, green, black, yellow, blue, and orange Pokeballs, in that respective order. Altaďr's hand touched the teal ball on the top, but instead of unlatching the Pokeball and throwing it, he simply pressed the button while it was still on his chest. There was a bright white flash and then Pokemon appeared...

    A fox-like Pokemon with teal fur stood before Altaďr. He had rhombus-shaped spots on his back, tail, and ears of a darker shade of teal, but the Pokemon's most noticeable trait was that it seemed to be wearing a Sherpa cap on his head with two cap endings protruding out the front, with the very ends of the cap endings being the same dark shade of teal. Ash, Dawn, and Brock had never seen this peculiar Pokemon before, and stared at it for several seconds.

    "What's that?" Ash asked himself while pulling out his red Pokedex.

    "Glaceon, the Fresh Snow Pokemon - Glaceon is one of the two new species of the Eevee-evolutionary line, found in the Sinnoh region. As a protective technique, it can completely freeze its fur to make its hairs stand like needles."

    "Hm, he can turn its fur into needles... better watch out for that Pikachu," Ash warned.

    "Pika pi!" Pikachu squeaked in acknowledgment.

    "Also, it seems like Glaceon's an ice-type, so Iron Tail would be a good move to use," Ash added.

    Altaďr and Glaceon simply stood where they had been standing as if they were waiting for Ash to make the first move.

    "Ok! Pikachu, use Agility to close in the distance and hit him with an Iron Tail!" Ash commanded.

    "Pika!" Pikachu immediately complied as he began to show off his amazing speed by phasing in and out of different locations while approaching his opponent.

    Altaďr and Glaceon continued to stand still, which confused Ash greatly.

    "Why isn't he ordering an attack or anything? Maybe he's just amazed at Pikachu's speed, hehe," Ash thought to himself and while letting out a small chuckle.

    When Pikachu was in range, his tail began to glow white as he began to dive towards Glaceon with great speed, with his tail in front.

    However, both Ash and Pikachu were in for a great surprise.

    Altaďr didn't bark a single order, but Glaceon reacted by himself anyway. With unimaginable speed and reflexes, Glaceon performed a short hop with his four feet just as Pikachu's tail was a hair's length from Glaceon's face. As Pikachu looked up in amazement while still gliding underneath, Glaceon slammed his two cap endings into Pikachu's front side as Pikachu continued began to pass underneath, effectively forcing him into the ground. A large amount of dust flew up and the two Pokemon were soon out of sight. Everything occurred in a blink of an eye but seemed to happen in slow-motion as the spectators and Ash watched in amazement.

    "Pikachu! Are you ok?" yelled Ash.

    The dust soon cleared and it was revealed that Pikachu was still standing in a small crater formed by his own body being slammed into a ground. However, he looked to be in a great deal of pain after the brutal assault, while Glaceon stood a couple of feet away from his opponent and merely stared at the yellow mouse.

    "What the hell happened?" Ash thought frantically. "Altaďr didn't say a single word yet his Glaceon was still able to pull a move off like that. No way could that have been on his Pokemon's own accord."

    "What's the deal here, how did your Glaceon pull that off?" Ash shouted across the field. "Are you like one of those psychic trainers who can speak to their Pokemon through their mind?"

    "No." The one word reply slightly ticked Ash off.

    "Then how'd your Pokemon do that?"

    "You, being a trainer, should know that a Pokemon is only as strong as its trainer, correct?"

    "Yeah...?"

    "Then you also know that a Pokemon can only fight as well as its trainer can command it to."

    "What's your point?" Ash peered over at his opponent suspiciously.

    "Well, first answer this by yourself. Who's doing the actual fighting, you or your Pikachu?"

    Ash didn't respond to the rhetorical question.

    "So wouldn't it make sense to train your Pokemon to fight on its own instincts?"

    "I'm not following you."

    Altaďr sighed and continued explaining. "Your Pokemon are the ones that are in the heat of battle, so the Pokemon would know better than anyone what the consequences may be if they make a bad move. With a Pokemon's own instincts, they are the ones that know what the best course of action is, because they are the ones that have done actual battling and have received battle wounds.

    Ash could only stare in amazement as he came to a realization. "So you mean-?"

    "Yes, I've trained my Pokemon to fight and adapt according to how the situation acts out. If you want an analogy, think of boxers in a boxing match. They've been trained before the match but have to fight on their own in the actual match."

    Ash was becoming overwhelmed by the information, but one thought of the situation quickly popped into his head.

    "Well what about teamwork?" he questioned. "Trainers and Pokemon should work together in a battle in order to be the best they can and win."

    "All the teamwork happens behind the scenes, during training," responded Altaďr. "There are many benefits of letting your Pokemon battle on its own, one which you witnessed firsthand. The Pokemon that is battling acts on its own reflexes and tactics to the situation that a trainer cannot necessarily see because the trainer is not the one battling. Another benefit is that the opposing trainer cannot read your strategy, since you are obviously not giving any commands out. Finally, a Pokemon doesn't have to process a battle command in its head that may waste that valuable split second where it could take the opportunity to strike on its own... or be struck. It also gives a Pokemon the freedom to use a combination of attacks in unconventional manners. In retrospect, my... 'theory' is actually somewhat superior to the way psychic trainers fight, because psychic trainers still have to give orders through their minds.

    Ash was only barely following Altaďr's words, and after a minute of thought processing, he spoke again.

    "Well, that may be your style of battling, but I'll stick to my way. It lets me build a bond of trust with my Pokemon since they trust me enough to follow my commands, so they believe in me." Ash gave a grin and punched the air in front of him.

    "I wasn't trying to convert you to follow my battle and training strategy. It's extremely difficult to train your Pokemon to fight effectively like this anyway. As you can see with wild Pokemon, they do not always know the best course of action to take when in battle. It takes many years of training and battle experience in order for the Pokemon to develop their independence. It's taken me about 3 years, and I'm still training."

    "Three years? Has this guy just been training his Pokemon like this for that long?" Ash thought to himself with astonishment.

    "What a guy, he's developed a completely new and unorthodox strategy that also seems to be extremely effective... but I wonder why I've never heard of him before, or eve seen him at a Pokemon League competition," pondered Brock.

    "Hee hee, this guy's pretty interesting. I know I should be rooting for Ash, but I can't help but feel that this guy is gonna win,"
    Dawn thought while blushing slightly. "Ooo, I don't like it when there's more than one guy to choose from..."

    "Well, enough talking, we're here battle, not discuss training strategies," said Altaďr.

    "Couldn't agree with you more, Pikachu, create some space between you and Glaceon!" ordered Ash.

    "Pikachu!" Pikachu immediately began making short hops backwards with its four feet until it had created a gap of about 50 meters between him and Glaceon.

    "Now, use Volt Tackle!"

    Pikachu then began to run forward and pick up speed as a yellow aura of electricity consumed him.

    "Pikapikapikapikapikapikapika," Pikachu chanted as he began to charge towards Glaceon. However, Glaceon had no intention of standing around in the face of this attack. In response to the attack, Glaceon's two cap endings spread apart and pointed horizontal while he began to charge towards Pikachu with even greater speed. As Glaceon charged, two small balls of ice energy formed at the cap endings, letting out a trail of teal light behind him. In a split second, the two small balls of energy grew larger and a teal aura began to engulf Glaceon. The two Pokemon charged with all their might towards the center of the field, but right before the two collided, Glaceon's aura solidified into a projectile-shaped ice block. Pikachu, surprised, couldn't stop his assault quick enough due to the extreme speed and slammed head on into the block of ice.

    "Chaaaa!" Pikachu was sent back forcefully when he made contact with the solid ice block, but Glaceon wasn't done. While Pikachu was in mid-flight, Glaceon shattered his ice shield and sent large chunks of hail hurtling towards Pikachu. Pikachu was helpless as he was still flying back from the force of the impact so the ice shards connected with Pikachu, causing heavy damage.

    "No! Pikachu!" Ash yelled out in concern.

    Pikachu hit the ground hard and slid several more meters before finally coming to a stop. His body was full of cuts and bruises from the vicious onslaught by Glaceon, and it was clear that he was out for the count.

    "Pikachu is unable to battle, Glaceon is the winner!" announced Brock.

    "That was... amazing... yet brutal,"
    was all Dawn could think.

    Ash quickly ran over to where Pikachu had landed and carefully picked him up off the ground.

    "Pi...ka..." was all the little Pokemon could manage to say.

    "Hey buddy... take a good long rest now, that was a tough fight," Ash said as he placed Pikachu down to rest on his front by a tree. When looking at Pikachu's wounds, apprehension shot up through Ash's mind.

    "That was really vicious... I-I don't know if I want this happening to another one of my Pokemon..."

    "Don't worry too much Ash, Glaceon's attacks may have seemed savage, but they cause wounds like any other Pokemon's attacks would. Pikachu will be fine after resting and receiving some treatment. Besides, Glaceon held back some of the ice shards that struck Pikachu before the battle ended so Pikachu wouldn't take any excessive damage," Altaďr told Ash.

    "What? Glaceon actually held back some of its attack?" this didn't sit well in Ash's mind, knowing his opponent actually had to hold back in order not to completely annihilate his Pokemon. "Do I really stand a chance against this guy?"

    Dawn noticed the defeated look on Ash's face and decided to take action.

    "C'mon Ash, since when did you admit defeat to a battle before it was over? Pikachu may have lost, but you still have one more Pokemon, so you should just do the best you can and give a good fight!" Dawn seemed to have sparks in her eyes as she said this.

    "She's-she's right. I have to finish this battle. Better to lose with honor than surrender in shame, but I will make sure to forfeit the battle and match if my Pokemon begins to get mauled over."

    "Alright! I'm ready for the next battle, and I choose..." Ash reached for a ball on his belt and threw it. "Turtwig!"

    A small, green and yellow, tortoise-like Pokemon emerged from the Pokeball. He had a large jawbone which made him look somewhat like a snapping turtle. On his back was a brown shell and a small seedling with two green leaves grew out of the top of his head.

    "Turtwig!" cried the little grass Pokemon. Turtwig saw his opponent standing across the field and stood in a battle ready position. Ash knew that Turtwig was at a disadvantage against the ice-type, but he knew Turtwig was a strong fighter and always gave all he to win. However, Altaďr had other plans. He slowly lifted his hand and unlatched the teal Pokeball from the strap that ran across his chest. He turned his wrist without moving his arm and silently recalled Glaceon, and then re-attached the Pokeball to his strap.

    Using slow movements, he moved his hand down to the green Pokeball, and held a finger in front of the button for several seconds, before seemingly making up his mind. He pressed the white button of the Pokeball, revealing his next Pokemon.

    Another fox-like Pokemon appeared from the white flash, but this time, the Pokemon's body was tan-colored and slender. Her tails and ears were of a soft green color and resembled torn and tattered leaves. In other places on her body such as her leg joints, chest, and back was where smaller leaves of the same soft green color grew. Her paws, the inside of her ears, and her eyes were all of a darker brown color than the rest of her body. Her most prominent trait was a large, curled leaf that grew out of her forehead that was also the same soft, green color.

    This time, Dawn used her pink Pokedex to analyze the new Pokemon.

    "Leafeon, the Verdant Pokemon - Leafeon is one of the two new species of the Eevee-evolutionary line, found in the Sinnoh region. Just like a plant, it uses photosynthesis. As a result, it is always enveloped in clean air."

    "Wow, Leafeon is beautiful," said a sparkly-eyed Dawn.

    "Too bad beauty can kill," thought Brock, who knew what that phrase meant all too well.

    "All right Turtwig, it looks like she's a grass-type too, keep you guard up," Ash told his Pokemon cautiously.

    "Turt!" His Turtwig said in acknowledgment.

    "Ok! Turtwig, start off with a Tackle attack!"

    Turtwig immediately obeyed his trainer's order and began to charge towards Leafeon on the opposite end of the battle field. Ash knew all too well what might happen if he simply let Turtwig run straight up for a Tackle attack, so he quickly devised a plan to catch Leafeon off guard. When Turtwig was 5 meters away from his opponent, Ash sprung into action.

    "Turtwig, pin Leafeon down with a Leech Seed attack now!"

    Turtwig complied, jumping up above Leafeon and launching a small seed from the seedling on his head. However, Leafeon was quick to respond. In the blink of an eye, Leafeon seemed to vanish in thin air, only to reappear behind who Turtwig was still in the air.

    "Wig?" the Pokemon said confusedly, as he hadn't realized that Leafeon was standing behind him on the ground.

    In a flash, the tip of Leafeon's tail turned purple and she struck Turtwig where he hurt the most, on his underbelly.

    "Turrrrttt!" cried the little turtle Pokemon while he flopped to the ground. He had no choice but to lie on his belly where he had been struck a second before. As he attempted to stand up, pain shot through all his limbs and then through his head, immediately causing him to faint in agony.

    "Turtwig!" Ash cried as he ran towards where Turtwig lay. Turtwig's eyes were shut and he was clearly unconscious, so Ash could only stare in despair at his Pokemon who looked to be in great pain.

    "Sh*t," mumbled Altaďr. "Looks like Leafeon overdosed on the poison." He began to walk to where Ash and Turtwig were, Leafeon following in suit.

    "Wait a second," Brock said as Altaďr passed him, "How does your Leafeon know Poison Tail? I thought only Seviper could learn that attack."

    "Anything's possible with a little training," answered Altaďr simply. He continued walking at a quicker pace towards Ash and Turtwig. Ash could only look up at Altaďr with concern in his eyes as Altaďr stopped before him. Then, Altaďr did the one thing he hadn't been seen doing the whole time he had been acquainted with the trio. He gave an order to Leafeon.

    "Leafeon, please draw the poison out of Turtwig and treat him."

    Ash's eyes widened as he heard this. Brock would have done the same if he could perform that feat. Dawn, who had not moved from her spot on the sidelines, could only look over at the two trainers with perplexity.

    Ash let go of Turtwig and placed him back on the ground as Leafeon approached them, and then backed off to give the Pokemon room to operate. Leafeon turned Turtwig on his back and examined the wound she had inflicted a minute before on his underbelly. There was a large gash there that had already begun to turn red because of the poison. Though Turtwig was unconscious, he was sweating profusely and seemed to be gasping for breath. After examining the fallen Pokemon some more, Leafeon began to take action. She sat down on her hind legs and closed her eyes, seeming to meditate. Ash, Dawn, and Brock stood by dumbly and watched the Pokemon continue to sit perfectly still as she concentrated.

    "What's she doing?," whispered Dawn to Brock.

    "Who knows, just keep watching," Brock whispered back.

    Minutes passed and Leafeon was still sitting in the same spot, focusing her powers to somehow heal Turtwig. Everyone stood and watched silently, but Ash began to get edgy as more time passed, and finally exploded when the pressure was too much.

    "What is your Leafeon doing?!" he exclaimed. "Turtwig is in a lotta pain but your Pokemon who you told to heal him is just sitting there like it's sleeping!"

    "Shut up. You'll break her concentration and then she'll have to start over again, which by then it may be too late," Altaďr said quietly but with a chilling tone.

    That put Ash back in line, but it didn't ease his anxiety. More and more weight seemed to be crushing his sanity but before he could lose it, Leafeon made a motion.

    Leafeon slowly got up from her sitting position and walked closer to Turtwig. She took one last look at the wound, and then pressed the leaf on the center of her forehead onto it. The leaf glowed bright green for several seconds, and then turned white. Turtwig's demeanor seemed to loosen as she continued pressing the leaf on his belly.

    "Ah, I see," Brock muttered to himself.

    "See what?" questioned Ash as he took his eyes off the two Pokemon for the first time.

    "It seems like Leafeon can create antidotes and then apply them to wounds. This is a really amazing ability, since not many other Pokemon have such healing powers."

    "You are correct Brock," Altaďr stated. "However, Leafeon can do a lot more than create antidotes for poisons, she can make a wide variety of medicines and other antidotes as well. In the past, there were several times when I took wounds that were fatal and was on the verge of death. She quickly picked up the ability for the first time in order to heal me when I took a direct bite from an Ekans.

    "Wow..." breathed Dawn.

    Altaďr noticed the worried look that lingered on Ash's face so he walked over to where Ash stood.

    "Turtwig will be all right," Altaďr assured him. "Leafeon would know how to create an antidote for her own poison better than anyone."

    Ash looked up at Altaďr and gave him a small smile. "Thanks."

    Altaďr gave him a small nod and continued to watch Leafeon's progress.

    "I guess he's not as emotionless and heartless as I originally thought," Ash contemplated.

    --------------------

    Within the hour, Turtwig was up and running about. Leafeon's antidote not only drew the poison out of Turtwig, it also strengthened him, to the point where Turtwig was a little bit hyper-active. Pikachu had woken up from his nap as well, and received some potion from Brock for his battle wounds. Turtwig and Pikachu played about while the foursome took some more time to rest after the intense battle. All was calm, until a strange noise was heard.

    Grruuuummmbbleeee

    "What the heck!? Was that your stomach, Ash?" Dawn exclaimed.

    "No, but now that you mention my stomach..." He looked down sadly at his empty stomach and patted it.

    "Well then whose was it?" asked Dawn.

    "Er..."

    Dawn turned and looked at the owner of the voice, which belonged to Altaďr. He gave an embarrassed look, which was a first, because of his faux pas.

    "Uh, guess I'm as hungry as you guys too... I haven't eaten for a... while," Altaďr looked away from the rest of them and gave a dubious look.

    Dawn raised her eyebrow and questioned further. "How... long...?"

    "...Three days."

    Three jaws dropped when they heard this.

    "How could you survive THREE DAYS without food," Ash shouted in bewilderment.

    "Guess I got caught up in my training..." Altaďr gave a sheepish chuckle.

    "Well, now would be as good a time as ever to start heading towards Lightcrown City," Brock declared.

    "Totally!" agreed Dawn. She looked over towards Altaďr and gave him an inviting smile. "Want to come with?"

    Altaďr looked a bit surprised at the offer and faltered a bit. "Uh, well I, um... you see... I have um..."

    "C'mon, it's not like we bite or anything," giggled Dawn, as she grabbed his right arm.

    "Oh crap..."

    --------------------

    Afterthought

    So there we are. Lot's of info about our new character, as well as a great battle between him and Ash.

    As you can see, I love Glaceon and Leafeon, as well as 5 other Pokemon you could probably all predict. (Too bad I can't use them all =( ) You could also probably predict Altaďr's four other Pokemon as well.

    I hope I didn't make Altaďr's skills too... godlike or anything. His strategy is one that I have thought of in my head for a while. I had always wondered what a battle would be like if the Pokemon had the freedom to perform to their fullest extent, instead of being told what to do by its trainer. If I was a trainer, that's the way I would train and battle.

    But yea, Altaďr may seem a bit... overpowered at the moment, but I'll just tell you all that even the most powerful have faults. It may take a while for Altaďr's true fault to come out however.

    As for the Pokemons' abilities, I decided to give them a slightly wider variety of attacks because of the freedom of movement they had. Since Glaceon and Leafeon have yet to appear in the show, no one knows if they have any kind of special abilities or another attributes. I decided to have Glaceon shoot the ice from his cap endings and Leafeon healing powers, as well as a new set of unnamed moves. (Well, there was Poison Tail, but Leafeon isn't actually supposed to be able to learn that) This will continue with the rest of Altaďr's Pokemon.

    Like my sig? Made it that way 'cause I love those two Pokemon so much, as well as for the story. Man, I haven't been in the old Photoshop for quite a while.

    Next chapter: Altaďr's character and past will be developed some more here. Not a lot of action or anything, but important nonetheless. I mean, every main character needs to have good background information, and all the other characters have that, why not Altaďr? Also, another character enters next chapter. (Guess who?)

    -CICHawk
    Last edited by cichawk; 27th April 2008 at 6:13 AM.

  17. #17
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    I'm replying to your replies and reviewing to chapter 2 since I need to get off soon and haven't quite made it to chap # 3(but dang, you're fast!)

    Glad to hear that, looks like I might actually have a thing for writing fics eh?
    It sounds like you're doubting yourself... are you doubting yourself? Because, don't, your writing is really good. And you DO have a thing.

    Heh yea I think Dawn is quite... interesting... especially with her um, traveling attire. Actually, I think the reason why I got back into Pokemon was because I heard of Diamond and Pearl anime coming out in the US, and that just brought my childhood of watching the Original Series on Kids WB Sunday mornings.
    I like how she looks and what she wears too, but that's not enough to make me come back to the show, I've gotten quite bored of the anime and don't watch it anymore. RItght now, I'm all in for the anime.

    I really don't have anything against any of the characters. Well, actually I don't really know any of the characters besides ones from the Original Series through the beginning of Johto, which is where I am in my viewing of the anime through my torrent downloads. (Don't hurt me!) I am basing a lot of the character personality and traits through other fics that I have read and through what I read on Wikipedia and Bulbapedia, so if I ever do anything that seems to break the canon or make a character too out of character, please tell me.

    The only character that does somewhat irk me is Drew. Now I haven't seen him in the anime yet, but from what I read and see, he seems like the stereotypical pretty boy/popular guy type. Not that I really have anything against people like that, it's just I'm more of the Ash type, the nice guy, so I guess that's why I picked Advanceshipping. Hey, I sure learning a lot about myself through responding to all your comments and reviews. =P
    don't think of me as a violent person, I'm not.

    Anyway, I don't like Drew's character very much in the anime either, he comes to me like a stalker or something. But I still like contestshipping, and he's one of my favorites(strange, huh)

    Don't worry, I'll tell you if you flame anyone, or makes anyone look bad.

    lol, good to know I'm helping you some how.

    Oh, and thank you for the compliments, they really help boosts my self-esteem. By the way, what exactly is a PM list? From what I read in the rules post, authors have a PM list and send PM's to readers that have been added when there is an update, am I correct? I guess I could start one, but isn't there a subscribe to thread feature on these forums? I use it for this story thread. But now that I think about it, the subscription feature sends PM's for every post in the thread, so I guess people don't want their inboxes getting spammed up? Hm, alright, I will start a list. #1 - Uzamaki Hinata! (That's from Naruto I presume?)
    That's what I do, help ppl with their self-esteem!

    I was going to explain PM list, but you've got the hang of it, so I won't say.

    Yay, I'm # 1, but, hey, you don't have to call me by my whole pen name, it's too long, too annoying, just call me Uza-chan, I like it that way anyway.

    well, on to the chapter review.

    ooh, I'm already liking this Altair, he sounds very cute, heh, so I don't blame Dawn. But now she's in between two boys, oh noo! Two boys who don't know she likes them.

    I like how Ash's character is, I mean he blushes and stuff so he notices girls and yet, you got him in to character. I mean wow, VERY in to character. His stubbornness, him challenging Altair immediately, and him being hungry... wow, I feel so bad for them, not eating in so long.

    hmm, I guess that's all I have to say, I'll review for chapter three later, but I really am liking this fanfic, to have such a great beginning, I hope it continues on like this, I really enjoyed reading it.
    ~*Uza-chan's Good bye*~

    IS SUPAH FIIIINE

  18. #18
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    That put Ash back in line, but it didn't ease is anxiety
    Is should be his.
    created a gap of about 50 meters between he and Glaceon
    When Turtwig was 5 yards away from his opponent
    Well this isn't a mistake but you are using different units of measurement which is kind of odd so you should stick with either yards or meters.
    Originally posted by Uzamaki Hinata
    (but dang, you're fast!)
    See, I told you you write fast.
    Last edited by swampert55; 26th July 2007 at 4:39 AM.

  19. #19
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    created a gap of about 50 meters between he and Glaceon
    It should be "him", in lieu of "he".

    "Hey buddy,,, take a good long rest now,
    ... I'm not really sure why I noticed this one...

    "Totally!" bursted Dawn.
    Er, technically, bursted isn't a word.

    Just a few minor errors again.

    As for the story, the battle was pretty good, although, in my eyes, they're that much better if they're close. But it does demonstrate Altair's (Pokemon's) skills.

    Dawn's constant, uh, fawning over Ash and Altair seems a little out of her character to me, but it's really your story.

    Hope May shows up in the next chapter...

  20. #20
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    I'm back and here to reply! swampert55 up first.

    Is should be his.
    Woops missed the H.

    Well this isn't a mistake but you are using different units of measurement which is kind of odd so you should stick with either yards or meters.
    Ah, good catch, I was trying to stay with metrics but I guess I let one slip.

    See, I told you you write fast.
    Oh um, thank you, I guess. =P

    Now for GrizzlyB

    It should be "him", in lieu of "he".
    You know, I really hate those stupid grammar rules for he and him. I can never tell if its something like he and (name), him and (name), (name) and he, (name) and him. I still actually haven't figured out the correct grammar for it, but I'll take your word.

    Er, technically, bursted isn't a word.
    Yeah, I knew that since it has that red line of death under it. Still used out in the world though I think.

    As for the story, the battle was pretty good, although, in my eyes, they're that much better if they're close. But it does demonstrate Altair's (Pokemon's) skills.
    Well, Altaďr's um, godliness I guess, is an element in the plot. Oh you'll see what other things he does...

    And sometimes Ash needs to be crushed to remind him that he still needs work. ^^ (Ok that was just a dumb excuse.)

    Dawn's constant, uh, fawning over Ash and Altair seems a little out of her character to me, but it's really your story.
    Hm, I guess it is, but when you're sort of shipping someone, (yes I stated I mighta slipped some Pearlshipping and original character shipping in at the beginning of my story) you do have to change them around a bit...

    And I also use the excuse of Dawn not being in the show for so long for changing her up. Currently in the English releases, she strikes me as somewhat dull personality-wise. Sure she's quite interesting in her contests and stuff but other than that, she's just a peppy coordinator girl that follows Ash around and watches him get into all sorts of outland-ish troubles. (Ash sure does have his way with women in and out of the anime eh?) So I guess I somewhat further developed her character into the "flirty" type...

    So yea, I guess people will be slightly out of character as this is ultimately a shipping story... just with a giant plot behind it instead. Hehe, don't worry, Ash will show his luuurrrvvvv sometime, just might take like... a ton of chapters. I hope you're all patient! But tell me that Ash being lovey dovey is not out of character. =P

    Oh, and I'm not like, flaming you or trying to comeback at you or anything. Just trying to explain my motives for things people find awkward, out of character, etc.

    Hope May shows up in the next chapter...
    Wish granted, as I am already finished with chapter four. 'Tis not much for May, but she definitely uh, "shows up."

    I'm gonna put off posting chapter four this morning though, I think I should let some newcomers to this story write a thing or two, since I apparently am very fast. Heh, how often do other authors update approximately?
    Last edited by cichawk; 26th July 2007 at 1:43 PM.

  21. #21
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    Very nice! A well written battle scene, coupled with originality (Antidotes, anyone?) made this a really good chapter. Altair* still kind-of reminds me more of Paul, mixed with Spock, from Star Trek, and I think he is really cool, altogether. I like his original battle style, and I REALLY like his Pokémon choice. (I LOVE Eevee.) I hope you get #4 out soon!

    ~LZ~

    (*How do you do the double-dot-"i"?)
    Last edited by Lord Zant; 26th July 2007 at 4:34 PM.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Zant View Post
    Very nice! A well written battle scene, coupled with originality (Antidotes, anyone?) made this a really good chapter. Altair* still kind-of reminds me more of Paul, mixed with Spock, from Star Trek, and I think he is really cool, altogether. I like his original battle style, and I REALLY like his Pokémon choice. (I LOVE Eevee.) I hope you get #4 out soon!

    ~LZ~

    (*How do you do the double-dot-"i"?)
    Glad you liked how the battle was written. Let me tell you, writing battles that you can picture in your head is not the easiest thing for me. (Actually, none of this is that easy, I'm constantly using an online thesaurus to prevent myself from using a word too many times.) I hope I explained all the movements and attacks well enough to be pictured, since this fic is kind of like a motion picture in my head.

    Heh, yea I guess he is somewhat like Paul now that I look into more, but differences will start to emerge as we uncover more background info and see more of his character, since I never really intended him to be like Paul. Dunno who Spock is though. (Never watched Star Trek, not a sci-fi guy.)

    I think I have an Eevee fetish now... but it's all good. Chapter four has been finished since early this morning by the way, and I'm some way down chapter five. I'll post chapter four after I fix the last chapter and do a little more of five.

    Also, I just copy and paste Altaďr for the double dotted i, since I don't actually know how to do it myself, heh. I guess I should also accent the E's in Pokemon. (Dangit the shortcut for accents isn't working here)

    Now I also gotta reply to a few things Uza-chan wrote. (Geez I sure reply to replies a lot.)

    It sounds like you're doubting yourself... are you doubting yourself? Because, don't, your writing is really good. And you DO have a thing.
    Mm, dunno if I was actually doubting, by I certainly didn't think people would be interested in the fic so quickly. (Wait, that's called doubting isn't it?)

    don't think of me as a violent person, I'm not.
    Oh no, see, when I wrote "(Don't hurt me!)" (And I assume that's what you were referring too when you made that quote), I was talking to any moderators or whoever since I just admitted before that that I downloaded and watched torrents... which I'm pretty sure is illegal... Yipes!

    Anyway, I don't like Drew's character very much in the anime either, he comes to me like a stalker or something. But I still like contestshipping, and he's one of my favorites(strange, huh)
    In the unplanned future, I may decide to include Drew somewhere, to disrupt some of the peace between Ash and May. (Now I know that's not a spoiler since this is a shipping fic.) I've only planned so far so I dunno for sure yet. Same goes for other characters.

    ooh, I'm already liking this Altair, he sounds very cute, heh, so I don't blame Dawn. But now she's in between two boys, oh noo! Two boys who don't know she likes them.
    Heh, well as I said before, Altaďr is based off me sort of, so you just kinda implied... hehe, nevermind.

    I like how Ash's character is, I mean he blushes and stuff so he notices girls and yet, you got him in to character. I mean wow, VERY in to character. His stubbornness, him challenging Altair immediately, and him being hungry... wow, I feel so bad for them, not eating in so long.
    Glad to hear I'm hitting Ash's character correctly. Again, I'm basing a lot of the character's character from other people's fics and from the relatively few episodes I've watched. Oh, and you'll few more sorry for Altaďr in the next chapter, if you haven't already read it. =P

    hmm, I guess that's all I have to say, I'll review for chapter three later, but I really am liking this fanfic, to have such a great beginning, I hope it continues on like this, I really enjoyed reading it.
    Good to hear that you like it, I just hope I can keep up the quality as time goes on, since things start becoming complicated.

    Time to fix errors and add accents.

    P.S. To Lord Zant, while I was adding accents, I accidentally figured out how to do the double dotted I! However, you can't perform the shortcut in the forums though, or at least, not in the edit text box. To do the double dotted i, hold control down and hit the semicolon key (, then hit a vowel, which in this case is I, and voila! Heh, and this was totally by accident.
    Last edited by cichawk; 27th July 2007 at 6:35 AM.

  23. #23
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    Ugh, terrible start to my day. Woke up too late, figured out my mom didn't dry my boxers, so I'm still wearing the same ones as before, and I feel like crap.

    Chapter four here.

    -------------------

    Foreword

    Ok well there's not much action or moving around in this chapter, but it reveals a lot of background on our new character. It's important that every main character has a well developed background in a story isn't it?

    Oh, and another person finally makes an appearance.

    --------------------

    Chapter 4 - History Maker

    The day was in late-afternoon and the now-foursome walked down the long dirt road. As hungry as they were, they still managed to keep their spirits up, except for one member of the group.

    Ash walked stiffly at the back of the group, with Pikachu on his shoulder, as he began to recall the battle he and Pikachu had went through only an hour ago.

    "Altaďr... that guy... I really never did stand a chance against him did I? I was so stupid to think I did in the first place," Ash clenched his fists as his thoughts ran wild.

    "If he's a nobody yet so powerful... then... how do I know there's not more people out there like him? If there are more trainers as strong as he, then what does that make me? All my achievements... my victory at the Orange League and Battle Frontier... what do they mean?"

    Pikachu noticed a small twinkle in Ash's eye, and decided to converse with his trainer to cheer him up.

    "Pika pikachu, Pikapi?" the little mouse Pokémon asked.

    "It's nothing Pikachu." Ash pulled his hat over his eyes.

    "Pikapika, cha pikachu!"

    "Well, I was just thinking about... him."

    "Kachu?"

    "Yeah, the new guy." Ash lowered his voice. "Do you think we could ever be as strong as he is, Pikachu? I mean, he has a completely different way of training and fighting with his Pokémon, which makes them extremely powerful. I don't know, even though I want to train you guys my own way, I can't help but be somewhat... interested in his techniques. Oh man, I wish she was here, she could - no, would, help me calm this fire in my head."

    "Pika..." sighed Pikachu as his ears drooped.

    "You miss her too don't you?"

    "Chuuu."

    "Well, I guess she's having a lot of fun in Johto, winning a bunch contests and whatever. Maybe even hanging out... or getting closer... with ... him." Ash felt a wave of depression as he thought about that idea. Pikachu noticed his trainer's misery and patted Ash on the back of the head.

    "Thank's Pikachu." Ash let out a small grin towards his partner and best friend. "I know you'll always be there for me..."

    "Pikapi..."

    --------------------

    "Hey Altaďr, how old are you?"

    Altaďr looked down to his right at the beaming girl, and returned her smile with a neutral demeanor.

    "15... I think"

    "Ooo, that's the same age as Ash, though you somehow look a bit older than that. I'm 12 by the way! Brock's 20, isn't he old?" Brock frowned at her remark.

    After a second, Altaďr's last two words registered in Dawn's head and she spun her head back to look towards him. "Wait a second... what do you mean, you think?"

    "I don't know my birthday," replied Altaďr. He took his eyes off the girl and looked into the sky.

    "Wha? Why not?" the coordinator inquired on. Brock and Ash soon began to listen to the conversation with interest.

    Altaďr closed his eyes as he kept walking for several seconds before finally giving an answer.

    "I don't know my parents."

    Dawn, Brock, and Ash stared at the tall teenager with dumbfounded looks.

    "What-what do you mean?"

    Altaďr let out a long but soft sigh. "I guess I'll have to tell you about my past now."

    The other three travelers simply gawked at him.

    "I am... an orphan, or at least I think I am. I actually don't know if my parents are alive or not, but-"

    "Wait, I thought you said your father was the one that named you," Dawn interrupted.

    "The... father-," he emphasized the word father. "-is actually just an old hermit who lived on Mt. Coronet that decided to take me in when he found me on a cold night on August 5th, which is the date my supposed birthday is on. I was only an infant, so I don't remember much about him finding me, but I did grow up is his home, which lead me to believe he was my actual father. But when I was seven, or at least when he said I was seven, my 'father' became very ill, due to the cold climate and his old age, and he began to fade."

    Dawn gave Altaďr a compassionate look, but he took no notice.

    "Before he passed on, he told me the truth about how he found me a box in the snow, that one fateful day six years ago. I was extremely surprised at first, but then I felt the sadness of never knowing my parents. Then I felt a bit of anger when I realized they probably abandoned me. I don't really care now though, since they're probably either dead or having a great life for all I know." Altaďr's eyes narrowed as he said that. "So for the next year, I fended for myself until... my best friend came to me."

    Everybody gave a confused look at Altaďr, but he continued on with his tale.

    "My best friend... Eevee... who is now Glaceon, found me one day when I was about eight. Actually, I was the one who found Eevee. I found him half-frozen in the middle of December, and took him into my home to care for him. From then on, we were inseparable. I told him about my dream to leave the mountain to become a Pokémon trainer, and we immediately began to train together. Eevee was a strong little Pokémon with a great spirit, and was my best friend as well, so I promised him that I would never leave him and that he would always be by my side."

    "His relationship with Glaceon... it's almost like my relationship with Pikachu..."

    "When I turned ten, I walked down the mountain to the local laboratory to receive my trainer's license. However, when I requested one, I was turned down because I didn't have any sort of proof that I was indeed ten. I then resorted to stealing another kid's birth certificate and forging it, replacing the kid's name with my name, but I was young and it was easily deemed a fake. By then, I could only do one thing, beg. I begged the professor for a license and he finally took pity in me after half an hour and finally issued me a one. The professor was not well known and his lab was small, so he didn't carry and Pokédexs to give to new trainers, but I didn't mind. I was just glad that I had finally become a trainer, and Eevee shared the same feelings." Altaďr stopped his story and seemed to reminisce something for a moment, before quickly continuing on.

    "We then set out for the gym of Oreburgh, but Eevee was easily defeated by Roark's rock Pokémon. That defeat crushed my spirit, since I was only ten and had no family or support, so I began to wander through the regions, training Eevee and battling other trainers. Eevee soon became a powerhouse, but I still didn't feel that I was ready to compete in gyms and leagues. I also still had Eevee as my only Pokémon, so I began to search for other suitable team members. I don't know why I did it, but I managed to acquire five more Eevees in the year so I then began to evolve a few of them." Altaďr fiddled with his Pokéballs one by one as he pressed on.

    "First I evolved Flareon, Vaporeon, and Jolteon, in that order, through the use of elemental stones. Then, one night while I was training with one of my other Eevees, he evolved into an Umbreon, thus giving me my fourth evolved Eevee. When I came back to Sinnoh after I had turned twelve, I visited a strange forest and fought some wild Pokémon, and it was there that the Eevee now known as Leafeon evolved. I now had five evolved Eevees, but my first and strongest Eevee hadn't evolved yet." He then brought his hand back up to the teal Pokéball at the top of the strap. He cracked a small smile.

    Well, that changed when I returned to my home with only Eevee by my side for reasons I don't even know myself. I had dropped my five other Eevee-evolutions at the Pokémon Center and decided to revisit the old place. It was the middle of winter, and it had just snowed recently so when I got to the house, an avalanche occurred. It was a rather small avalanche though, so I was able to keep my head above the snow as I was swept away, but Eevee wasn't so lucky. He was buried almost as soon as the snow fell upon him, and was gone within seconds." A look of sadness crept into Altaďr's eyes. Ash couldn't help by feel a little bit of sympathy for the guy that had just destroyed him in a battle.

    "When the avalanche stopped, I began searching for my lost friend, digging and calling out his name for two days and nights. On the third morning, I was about to give up hope, but then I heard an loud rumble, and I thought I was going to get hit by another avalanche. However, when I turned around and looked up the mountainside, I saw Glaceon running down towards me..." This time when Altaďr paused his story, he let out a tiny tear out the corner of his eye, but none of the others noticed it. He hastily wiped it away and went back to his neutral composure.

    "And... that completed my team. After Glaceon's evolution, I decided it was time to get back into the competition. I easily earned eight badges in the Sinnoh region and entered the Sinnoh League in a timespan of six months. But... that's where things went wrong again, as I was defeated... in the first round."

    "What? How could Altaďr have been defeated in the first round while I was able to make it to the top 16 and 8 in the leagues I entered?" This puzzled Ash greatly.

    "I fell into a state of depression and lost all hope in myself. Nothing seemed to work out at all for me, and I thought I had nothing to live for... so I nearly committed suicide, until I remembered my promise to Glaceon. That promise brought me back to reality, and I decided to take a hiatus from training to rethink everything that I had gone through, and what I had to do next. During that break is when I developed my technique of training and battling, and I devoted myself into training my Pokémon to be the best. I didn't participate in a single league for the next three years, and continued to develop myself and my Pokémon. We had our problems but we endured them and kept through the years. A couple of months after I turned 15, I finally decided that we were ready, and we started competing in the Sinnoh League again. And so... here I am, telling you guys my entire life story... dunno what compelled me to do that though." Altaďr gazed at the sky silently.

    "Wow, all the stuff he's been through... it makes my life seem so... perfect," Ash thought.

    "This guy is quite the character. No wonder he's the way he is," Brock deduced.

    Dawn's thoughts were in disarray, as she thought about Altaďr's story and how he had been so strong... so determined... so loving for his Pokémon. Her thoughts then began to turn into a fantasy, as she daydreamed of being held in his lean, yet strong, arms. She began to phase out of reality as she saw herself in kissing a boy, but she couldn't tell who it was. The height of the boy seemed to change every couple of seconds, from tall to short. Dawn's heart began to race as she was all of a sudden looking at a pair of eyes, then a face, then a mouth, coming towards her, but before she could tell who it was, a voice intruded into her fantasy.

    "Hey, we're here."

    Dawn snapped back into reality as she looked around, seeing nothing but the sun and blue sky in front and a river with a bridge they had crossed while listening to Altaďr's story.

    "Where? I don't see any city," Dawn said with a frown, as her wonderful, romantic fantasy had just been broken for nothing.

    "Try looking down," chuckled Ash.

    As she looked down, she indeed saw a city. A very large and beautiful city in fact, with seemingly hundreds of skyscrapers and other tall buildings, all nestled in a colossal valley a couple miles away. It was not dark yet, so there were no spectacular lights shining, but the city looked magnificent, nonetheless. Dawn felt a surge of excitement in her stomach, but then remembered how hungry she was. She gave a slight groan, and wished that the city was not still a mile or two down the valley.

    "Haha, race you all!"

    Ash broke into a sprint down the slope of the valley, laughing with joy.

    "Heh, guess the thought of food is giving him the strength to run..." Brock said amusedly.

    "Well, we'd better not fall behind," said Altaďr. With that, he began sprinting after Ash as well. Brock then gave a sigh and chased after the two younger boys.

    Dawn stood and smiled for several seconds at the two energetic teenagers, until she realized she was being left behind and she began to give chase as well.

    --------------------

    On the western side of the valley, a teenaged girl stood silently and looked down at the immense city that lay before her.

    The girl held a small object in her hands that were clad in white gloves with black fingers. She slowly brought the object up to her chest, which was accentuated by her red, tight, zip-up blouse, and held it there tightly. Her feet that wore red and yellow sneakers shifted as she looked down at her legs, which were dressed in a white mini-skirt with a pair of blue spandex shorts underneath. The breeze blew her brown hair, styled with long locks that hung down the side of her head under a red bandanna, into her large, sapphire eyes. The girl soon became irritated by the hair in her eyes and she removed it from her face with a flick of her head. She then pulled her hands off her chest and looked at the object she held once again; a half of a ribbon. Her eyes began to water as she began to think about the owner of the other half.

    "Ash, where are you..."

    "I need you..."

    --------------------

    Afterthought

    Hmm, I wonder who that person was.

    So now, you all learned a little something about Altaďr, any thoughts or comments to make about his character? I'm trying to make him seem as real as I can like he would be in the anime or something.

    And now you all know the current character's ages too. I decided to try to weasel that in somewhere in this chapter because of all the backgrounding I was doing. As you can see, it's already been two years since Ash met Dawn, so they've probably had a ton of adventures in Sinnoh already. However, I don't want to mention things like badges or ribbons that Ash or Dawn may have since then it'll over-complicate some things and people will start asking questions. It's kinda like the Pokemon movies, they're nestled somewhere in the storyline but not always exactly told when. They're Pokemon are the same as the ones that are currently seen in the Japanese anime though. (Dawn had Buizel as you've all seen and Brock has Happiny.)

    Oh, and I hope my last description was ok, I tried to write it so I didn't simply lists the articles of clothing and then the body description. I already did that three times in a row in chapter one.

    You guys R&R while I go R&R. (Rest and recuperate.)
    Last edited by cichawk; 27th July 2007 at 5:25 PM.

  24. #24
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    Pikachu noticed his trainer's misery and patted Ash on the back of the head.
    Hmm. Never heard of that before.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by swampert55 View Post
    Hmm. Never heard of that before.
    Well Pikachu's on his shoulder so...

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