Pokemon: Neo Genesis (AaMayL/Advanceshipping, PG-13)

[Lord Zant]

EDIT: Top of page seven! Wahoo!

Sorry I'm late.

First off, good job with the opening scene. It's good to make fun of your characters so they don't become Mary Sues.

“Just do your best and believe in yourself. That’s what somebody always tells me”

And then Dawn dropped off of the edge of the Earth, which turned out to be flat after all, and her sentence remained incomplete for all eternity. (Or I could just say you missed a period, but that's boring.)

Who knew a combination of water and electricity could combine so well together!

Sounds a bit redundant, but maybe it's just me.

Omigosh, you own at writing contest appeals. This one was absolutely amazing. Great description, amazing ideas, and yet a touch of humanity, with Dawn hoping that her appeal actually works.

The teenaged boy slipped his backpack off his body and unzipped it. He then pulled out an electronic device that looked like a highly advanced personal digital assistant. Altaïr ceased his activities as he listened for any sign of life in the dressing room for several seconds before continuing with his business.

*Cough-Riley-from-National-Treasure-cough*

Sooo... I got it!

PDI, from Altair's PDA, stands for

Pokemon
Donators of
Intestines

And Altair's gonna be picking up a Mareep heart to disect for his science class. Duh.
Okay, so maybe not, but I have got several VERY believeble guesses...

Proud Destroyers of Idiots?
People Donning Invisibility?
Personal Doctors Incorperated?
Percy Driving Infernos?
Patrick Dissing Infernapes?

Fine. So maybe I have no idea.
Again, Ash fails to see May. I was about to get upset if he did.

I like your reactions between Dawn and May - really believeable.

Not much to comment on emotion-wise, plot wise, or character wise, but it definately was flashy, and well described.

Fluency did seem a bit off here and there, but it might just be me.

I'm waiting for the next one!

PS, PLEASE tell me - I did reply to your second one-shot on Fanfiction, right?


~LZ~

[Ariel_Anderson]

Um, I don't understand... why was May nervous when it was Dawn's appeal?
Oh no, I'm out of time... when I return I will make my own guesses at what PDI stands for!

[cichawk]

Earthborn

Hmm...Altier isn't a conventional guy.
Yeah, we came to know that some time back (about how he did the appeals), but no, he isn't conventional. This proves it - he's probably (to my guess) a part of a Pokemon Order like the Rangers or something.
Mystic. We'll see.

We're getting nearer to point where the plot is going to thicken. Soon, Altair will be revealed.

Now that was fun.
That same stupid plan won't work every time - and Ash won't get to see May (yet). Ash seldom realizes that his plans are stupid.

Just seemed like a good spot to pull a dumb one like that. I really didn't put a whole lot of thought in this chapter since it was mostly centralized on Dawn's appeal. Random events such as that just come along as I write.

This fic isn't going to be a short one. =)

Anyway, I guess there's not much to say in this chapter: it was mainly a well-executed appeal by Dawn, although we have a slight mystery ending. Hmmm...
The only thing that's remotely revealing is the Carbon compound (possibly an Amino Acid) on your banner.

Talk about Life...

All my appeals seem to have a theme of chucking things into the sky and making them blow up or something like that. I dunno if you or anybody else really notice though. Well, appeals are over so that won't be an issue anymore. =P

Hm...

swampert55

Well, I just thank you for continuing to be one of my chief editors. =D

Lord Zant

Omigosh, you own at writing contest appeals. This one was absolutely amazing. Great description, amazing ideas, and yet a touch of humanity, with Dawn hoping that her appeal actually works.

Hm, but again, all my appeals has something to do with like colliding attacks going into the sky and them doing something funky with it. I guess it's variable enough though. I just hope that you and everybody else who reads can actually understand the picture I'm trying to paint with my descriptions. Well, I guess that's half the fun of reading.

Even Dawn, who's the more confident one, has to show some fear eh?

*Cough-Riley-from-National-Treasure-cough*

But does Riley go around fighting thugs and all that good stuff? ;-)

Sooo... I got it!

PDI, from Altair's PDA, stands for

Pokemon
Donators of
Intestines

And Altair's gonna be picking up a Mareep heart to disect for his science class. Duh.
Okay, so maybe not, but I have got several VERY believeble guesses...

Proud Destroyers of Idiots?
People Donning Invisibility?
Personal Doctors Incorperated?
Percy Driving Infernos?
Patrick Dissing Infernapes?

Fine. So maybe I have no idea.

Heh, all my acronyms start with PD. And in all honesty, the actual words of the acronym aren't all that flashy, but you all probably still can't guess it since nothing in the plot's really going to suggest the true identity of it. But I'll give you what the first word is.

    Spoiler:- First Word:

Show Spoiler

 
Pokemon
 

Again, Ash fails to see May. I was about to get upset if he did.

I like your reactions between Dawn and May - really believeable.

Not much to comment on emotion-wise, plot wise, or character wise, but it definately was flashy, and well described.

Fluency did seem a bit off here and there, but it might just be me.

I'm waiting for the next one!

Heh, glad to see you're patient with my delivery of the meeting betwen Ash and Dawn.

To be honest, I'm not really giving all that much thought between the relationship between Dawn and May. Everything I've done is probably extremely generic between two friendly female characters of any fic. Example in my own fic; May freaks out, Dawn helps. Dawn freaks out, May helps (though I forget if that actually happened yet). But whatever, seems to be satisfactory.

I will agree that sometimes the way I write does become a bit too complex and incoherent, something to work on.

PS, PLEASE tell me - I did reply to your second one-shot on Fanfiction, right?

I've answered this in a reply to your fic, so you'll find it there.

Ariel_Anderson

Um, I don't understand... why was May nervous when it was Dawn's appeal?

May was nervous because she was amazed by Altair's appeal, and like most other people, she was slightly afraid of his power. That doesn't mean oh-so-amazing-Altair is invincible. You'll see when the plot thickens. =)

Oh no, I'm out of time... when I return I will make my own guesses at what PDI stands for!

Hopefully they'll be better than Lord Zant's (haha, nothing wrong your suggestions though).

[Lord Zant]

But I'll give you what the first word is.

The second word is detectives. Almost positive. As for I... if D is not detective, I is Investigators.

But does Riley go around fighting thugs and all that good stuff? ;-)

Nope... He's not that manly. (But he rocks anyway.)

Heh, glad to see you're patient with my delivery of the meeting betwen Ash and Dawn.

He's seen her already, silly. I think you meant MAY. This is why you don't write late into the night.

*Whistles*

But whatever, seems to be satisfactory.

Good enough for me!

I've answered this in a reply to your fic, so you'll find it there.

I'll add that one to my list of replies to make...

Hopefully they'll be better than Lord Zant's (haha, nothing wrong your suggestions though).

A GLOVE FRY
VALEY FROG
FARGO LEVY


Mine weren't ^THAT^ bad, at least.

Besides, I have WAY too much fun with acronyms.


~LZ~

[swampert55]

In the Gamecube games, PDA stands for Pokemon Digital Assistant. If the first two words are retained, I could stand for Informant/Informer?

The only thing that's remotely revealing is the Carbon compound (possibly an Amino Acid) on your banner.

Does the I stand for isotope?

[Ariel_Anderson]

Okey-doke! It's time to have fun with acronyms! Unfortunately, Someone *glares in Swampert's direction* had to go and rain on my parade by being all serious! So how can I be silly now? Heh, maybe I should pull a Pikamaster and delete his post (happened to me way to many times). Not that I can. Anyhoo, how about:
Pokemon: Deniers of Intelligence
Pokemon that are Dumb and Insolent
Hmm, I can't think of anymore that are worth posting.

[cichawk]

Heh, you're all wrong about the acronym. But sadly, your efforts will have to wait as it's not revealed in this chapter. Nice tries though.

Foreword

Well, maybe this chapter will explain some of the enigma.

-------------------

Chapter 16 – Directed Business

Light Tower stood majestically at where the business sector and the downtown sector met with its bells tolling a single time to indicate that the time was 1 pm. Almost directly above Light Tower, the sun blazed down upon the heads of walking pedestrians and made the air stuffy. However, one traveler ignored the waves of heat as he walked briskly while gently pushing slower pedestrians aside to get through.

The dark, untidy haired boy slipped sideways between two portly gentlemen and kept his black eyes staring straight ahead so he could foresee other human obstacles. Soon, the teenaged boy reached an intersection and instantly began searching for the street signs. He knew he was already on 5th Street and supposedly, the street he had just reached was Marbury Street. The green sign he was searching for confirmed that he was in the correct area.

The teenaged boy then began moving down Marbury Street and eyed the buildings on both sides of the street until he saw the word “Mason’s Pawnshop” in the distance. He picked up his pace and continued to gently shove people out of his way.

A bell rang as the boy opened the door into the shabby building with bars on its windows. The air smelled musty and the interior was dim. Many different items of varying value, ranging from simple china to large statues occupied much of the space. The boy also noticed many paintings, electronics, and other random items littering the room. At the end of the cramped room was an unoccupied counter. The teenager moved silently to the counter and rung the bell that sat on it.

“I’ll be right there,” a gruff voice shouted through a door off to the side.

Within the minute, a man with a head and face full of hair entered from the door. The man had long brownish-blond hair that flowed onto his shoulders and a long beard and mustache of the same color. As the man came closer to the boy, his face brightened with surprise.

“Mr. Altaïr, it’s-it’s been a while!” the man smiled and held a hand out.

“Likewise Mason,” Altaïr said plainly while shaking the shop owner’s hand. “And drop the mister, please,” he added with a smile.

“I suppose you’re here for your goods?” Mason questioned as he knelt down behind the counter and rummaged through objects that were unseen to Altaïr.

“You know it.”

“Well, here they are.” Mason reappeared from under the counter with a suitcase and a lumpy package bundled in plain brown wrapping paper. “Oh, and this too,” he added while reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small electronic chip.

“I suppose that goes into something you’ve already got?”

“Yeah, thanks,” said Altaïr without a change in his tone. He took the chip from Mason’s hand and slipped it into his own pocket, and then pulled the suitcase and bundle towards him.

“Your six-inchers, as you requested,” said Mason as Altaïr began to work the buckle on the suitcase. Altaïr then stopped with what he was doing as Mason gave him that information and simply nodded.

“And black, like you said, also,” added the shop owner while pointing to the lumpy bundle.

“Then my business here is done. Thank you.” Altaïr held the suitcase in his left hand and tucked the bundle under his right arm, then made his way for the entrance.

“And you be careful out there, Altaïr,” called Mason as Altaïr reached for the doorknob.

“You know me, I always know what I’m doing,” Altaïr said without turning back. He turned the doorknob and walked out onto the bright streets.

--------------------

“Wow, I haven’t eaten something that hasn’t been cooked by Brock in a while,” said a blue-haired girl as she walked next to her brunette companion. The two were now walking down the streets around the stadium, searching for a convenient place to eat.

“Brock… I haven’t seen him, or Ash… in such a long time…” May said quietly.

“Hey, you know what? We should go see them right now! I’ll just call Ash’s PokéNav and we’ll all meet someplace. Oh I bet Ash and Brock will be so surprised to see you! Well, maybe not, since you were the first contestant out there today, but still!” Dawn’s face was full of excitement as she habitually reached for her backpack only to realize it was still in her locker at the dressing room.

“Uh, well, that’s ok… it may be pretty tough to find them in this giant place, anyway. We can always meet up with them later. Let’s just… find Altaïr and grab a quick bite.” May smiled as innocently as she could, hoping Dawn would not see through her ruse.

“Oh, that works too I guess. I would have thought you wanted to see Ash though.”

May made a small spasm at that, but Dawn was not facing her so therefore her action went unnoticed.

“Why did she mention only Ash?” May thought to herself. “Does she-Does she know?”

The brunette shook off her thoughts, attributing them to her hunger. “Well, I sure am starved, how does that place look?” May pointed at a small shop with the words “Nick’s Quick Licks” above.

“That sounds like a-hey wait, isn’t that Altaïr on the other side of the street?” Dawn said while pointing as well.

May’s heartbeat quickened at hearing that name, and she turned her view in the direction Dawn was pointing. She squinted to find the boy’s figure amidst the pedestrians, and soon identified his longish scraggly hair.

“Yeah, I think that is him.” The coordinator then noticed that both his hands were occupied with two objects. “What’s he carrying?” she added.

“Hmm, it looks like he’s carrying a suitcase in one hand… I can’t make out the other though. Let’s call him over and ask him.” Dawn brought her hands to her mouth and cupped them. “HEY, ALT-.” But before she could finish his name, he had vanished into the large crowd of the stadium square.

--------------------

“Man, I’m starved! Aren’t you, Pikachu?” said a black-haired, capped trainer as he and his companions walked through a large crowd of commuting tourists that were outside of the stadium.

“Pika!” The little Mouse Pokémon patted his stomach as it growled.

“Ash, don’t you think we should call Dawn? Maybe we could meet up with her for lunch… and maybe someone else will be with her as well.” Brock began patting himself on the back for concocting such a perfect plan on the spot.

The starving trainer abruptly stopped his gait and looked down sadly at his stomach. Then he turned back and looked at Brock.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said while reaching into his pocket for his PokéNav. Quickly working the device, Ash selected Dawn’s name from a list and soon heard ringing through the speaker. However, after several seconds of unanswered ringing, the voice mailbox activated which then Ash hung up.

“Guess she doesn’t have her PokéNav with her. Well, I’m about to die from hunger now, so let’s just find a…” Ash stopped midsentence as he looked blankly through the crowd.

“Pika?” Pikachu’s ears stood straight up as he looked in the same direction as his trainer.

“Uh, what’s got your tongue, Ash?” questioned the breeder.

“Huh? What?” Ash shook his head violently before zoning back in. “Oh um, I thought I saw Altaïr… and he was carrying a suitcase and something else…”

“Really?” Brock squinted his already squinty eyes to scan the wave of people in the direction Ash had looked. “I don’t see him. Either you’re hallucinating from hunger, or he’s already gone.” Brock slapped the younger male’s back jokingly.

“Yeah… maybe…”

--------------------

“Let’s see what we’ve got here.”

Altaïr was now sitting on a toilet in a bathroom stall with his PDA in his hand while his packages and backpack sat on the ground. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the chip that Mason had given him. Altaïr held the chip close to his face and examined it closely, before then holding up his PDA as well and sliding the chip into a slot on the side.

The PDA made several electronic noises which then a prompt asking whether the user wanted to open the external device appeared. Altaïr selected “Yes” and instantly a plain white screen with black words appeared before him.

Mission update for Operative D-091

High priority target to appear at restaurant “Five Crown’s Palace” at 1800. Mission objective to perform surveillance on target and report intelligence immediately. Maintain primary mission profile and do not jeopardize primary mission objective.

Details on target…

The bathroom door suddenly opened which caused Altaïr to jump. He quickly shut off his PDA and packed all his belongings together, and then waited for the second occupant of the restroom to exit. When he heard the footsteps leave through the door, he opened his own stall door and quickly made his way out.

Altaïr swiftly made his way to the dressing room, then to his locker, and stuffed his new assets into the locker. When he had finished, he walked back into the hallways and made his way to the staging area. The teenaged boy then felt fatigue overtake his body, which signaled it was time he takes another nap on a couch.

“I’ll need the rest.”

-------------------

“And with that final appeal, the judges will now select 32 coordinators to move on into the next double-battle rounds, who will then fight for a place in the top 16! The selection process will take about a half hour, so do what y’all need to do, and be back for when we announce the first 32 finalists!”

The time was 4 in the afternoon, and Altaïr opened his eyes wide open as he heard the final part of MC Brian’s announcement.

“Three hours, that’ll do.”

The teenaged boy pulled himself off the couch and tasted a rancid flavor in his mouth. He decided that he needed a good drink, which lead him to walk over to the bar to order up a drink of strawberry flavor. Altaïr slowly sipped his delicate drink as he watched highlights from the appeal round on a large flat screen that hung above the bar.

After a minute or so of watching, a strange ringing noise emitted from behind him. Altaïr ignored the sound at first, but as the ringing continued, he realized where the source of the sound was coming from. The teenager quickly jumped off his stool and walked briskly to a corner of the room, where he swung his backpack off and pulled out a ringing PDA. He then grabbed a pair of earphones from the inside of his backpack and plugged them into the PDA, before touching the words “Accept Call” on the screen of his PDA. The ringing box that occupied his screen disappeared as the face of a bald, rugged looking man who was in his senior years appeared.

“ALTAIR, WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING!” screamed the man. Luckily, Altaïr had plugged in the earphones so the entire room wouldn’t hear the man yelling, but that didn’t prevent his eardrums from almost bursting.

“Damn! You don’t have to yell so loudly, man.”

“Don’t you call me “man,” you pompous punk!” the man’s face began turning red.

“Hey, I’m not exactly your ‘Operatives,’ alright? I’ll call you whatever I want, but if you’re gonna cry over it, I’ll just call you what you are, happy Director?” Altaïr gave a sardonic grin at the man in the small screen.

“Cut the glib attitude, kid. You know that if you’re contacted on a mission, then you’ve screwed up bad. Can you guess what you’ve done this time?”

“Probably, but I don’t really care. Every time I’ve ‘screwed’ up, I seem to complete my tasks without any sort of problems, and sometimes even do more than I’m expected to. So what’s the problem this time,” Altaïr said with boredom.

“Don’t get so cocky, boy. What the hell do you think you’re doing in a heavily broadcasted… Pokémon contest?! You know how important keeping a low profile is!”

“Hm, how do you know I’m in a contest? I thought it was for security and low profile measures that only one ‘Operative’ is to work in a designated area. And for the contest being broadcasted, it’s only being broadcasted in Lightcrown. Do you have me tailed again?” Altaïr now gave an annoyed look at the Director.

“No, I don’t have you tailed this time, but we do monitor all television feeds to every corner of the Sinnoh region, so naturally we found you prancing around in this little contest of yours. Mind telling me what you think you’re doing?” The Director’s face had lost some of its flush and he was now speaking in a more controlled tone.

“Ah, well, I was a little bored in this city. I mean it’s not the first time I’ve been here. Needed to have a little bit of fun, eh?” Altaïr shrugged innocently.

“As arrogant and cocky as always,” the Director said exasperatedly while leaning his forehead on a hand. “Well, we can’t reverse any of the actions you’ve done, so all we can do now is hope you haven’t been noticed by either of the gangs.”

Altaïr then gave a sheepish chuckle. “Heh, about that…”

“Argh! I don’t want to hear it anymore. Just don’t screw up.” The Director’s face disappeared with a beep from Altaïr’s.

“Oh, I won’t.”

--------------------

Afterthought

Now the plot’s really coming along, eh?

Well, the title’s sort of a pun, with the Director and all the Business that’s going on.

[Mayziken]

Within the minute, a man with a head and face full of hair entered from the door. The man had long brownish-blond hair that flowed onto his shoulders and a long beard and mustache of the same color. As the man came closer to the boy, his face brightened with surprise.

“Mr. Altaïr, it’s-it’s been a while!” the man smiled and held a hand out.

“Likewise Mason,” Altaïr said plainly while shaking the shop owner’s hand. “And drop the mister, please,” he added with a smile.

Mason remainds me of the movie "The Rock"

“Why did she mention only Ash?” May thought to herself. “Does she-Does she know?”

Yeah she knows

“ALTAIR, WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING!” screamed the man. Luckily, Altaïr had plugged in the earphones so the entire room wouldn’t hear the man yelling, but that didn’t prevent his eardrums from almost bursting.

This dose also remainds me of an movie, but i don't remember what movie

“No, I don’t have you tailed this time, but we do monitor all television feeds to every corner of the Sinnoh region, so naturally we found you prancing around in this little contest of yours. Mind telling me what you think you’re doing?” The Director’s face had lost some of its flush and he was now speaking in a more controlled tone.

Lol

Great chapter and keep up the good work

And i don't have a clue of what PDI stands for

[EarthBorn]

I'm late.
Enlightening chapter anyway. The plot surges forward, and into murkier depths.

Altaïr is no ordinary guy: Check. I guess him being a member of this organization has granted him some special training by which he managed to break the contest so easily.

“Cut the glib attitude, kid. You know that if you’re contacted on a mission, then you’ve screwed up bad. Can you guess what you’ve done this time?”

“Probably, but I don’t really care. Every time I’ve ‘screwed’ up, I seem to complete my tasks without any sort of problems, and sometimes even do more than I’m expected to. So what’s the problem this time,” Altaïr said with boredom.

Heh, so like him.

[cichawk]

Why hello, a new reviewer. Everybody welcome Mayziken now. =)

Mason remainds me of the movie "The Rock"

Wikipedia + The Rock = A nice picture of this Mason you speak of. However, I envision my Mason to be younger, with not-white hair.

Yeah she knows

Oh hey, looks like I forgot to put italics in that one part you quoted. Thanks for unintentionally finding an error for me. (My editors have yet review and edit anything)

This dose also remainds me of an movie, but i don't remember what movie

I'll bet it's a movie with a super awesome but cocky spy guy and a old and cranky play-by-the-rules boss. =P

Lol

Great chapter and keep up the good work

And i don't have a clue of what PDI stands for

Well, if you knew what PDI stood for, then you'd know what the whole story was about. ;-)

Earthborn

I'm late.
Enlightening chapter anyway. The plot surges forward, and into murkier depths.

Looking back, I somewhat think I revealed a bit too much too quickly. Could have made it a lot more ominous and suspenseful, but then my justification for not doing that is then it'll make all you readers way more suspended than you already need to be. (I mean I already put off the ship, which is supposed to be a major point in the fic, for a good number of chapters)

Altaïr is no ordinary guy: Check. I guess him being a member of this organization has granted him some special training by which he managed to break the contest so easily.

That's sort of what I meant about revealing too much too fast. Now you all know he's some sort of agent. Oh well, I'll still work with what I got.

Heh, so like him.

Indeed.

[cichawk]

A bit late, but whatever. Enjoy this silly poem that only took a combined total of probably 20 minutes to do.

--------------------

Fourteenth Day, Second Month

Lying in my soft white bed,
I wonder if you’re dreaming,
Sleeping slow with eyes shut tight,
Beneath the moonlight gleaming.

I ponder if you dream of me,
As I often do of you,
But then I wake to the rising sun,
And taste the morning dew.

Pulling on my loose blue jeans,
I wonder what the day will hold,
I then recall the month and date,
And why it feels so cold.

The fourteenth day, the second month,
That special time of year,
When lovers meet and gander ‘bout,
And embrace ones held dear.

I look at you, you look at me,
And smile at my gaze,
I turn away, face flush with red,
Feeling in a daze.

That was one full year ago,
A year without your heart,
You’ve left me now for better things,
And now we’re far apart.

I never took the leap,
And feel like such a fool,
Now you always plague my mind,
You’re now my eye and jewel.

Walking down the lonely street,
Snow cascading on my hair,
My thoughts drift back to you,
Remembering times we share.

The fourteenth day, the second month,
How I loathe the day,
For being here all alone,
Makes my mind go grey.

I see a figure in the distance,
But don’t give it a thought,
Then the shadow waves at me,
And I become distraught.

I come closer, wondering who may be,
This strange person, waving at me,
I then recognize the shape, the hair,
Then the face, and I think it can’t be.

My heart melts,
My knees grow weak,
For I have found you,
The one I seek.

[Matt Silver]

Keep it up cichawk! I'm a big Advanceshipper, and this fic has some awesome potential. The characters (Altair is cool), the plot at the moment - solid stuff. Got any ideas of the length yet?

[Lord Zant]

Okay, so the first review I wrote for last chapter evidently didn't make it...

So I'm gonna write it again.

A bit late, but whatever. Enjoy this silly poem that only took a combined total of probably 20 minutes to do.

Eh, I don't care how late it is - you beat me. (Not hard to do, though...)

Makes my mind go grey

You didn't spell gray wrong, but I don't spell it that way. The dictionary agreed with both of us. (Stupid English Language...)

Now, I might not seem like much of a poet, but I do like to read and write it every now and then.

You’ve become my eye and jewel

To me, pacing would have been better with: "You are my eye and jewel." or "You're now my eye and jewel."

I liked how you made it rhyme, but I'd have seperated it into stanzas, or something. It looked a bit overwhelming at first.

Lying in my soft white bed,
I wonder if you’re dreaming,
Sleeping slow with eyes shut tight,
Beneath the moonlight gleaming.

You also seemed to miss out on punctuation. Where I am, you end every line of a poem with punctuation, or a comma if you didn't have a sentence per line.

So what the poem boils down to is this:
Great poem, but a bit lacking in formatting, in my opinion.

I'll edit this post with my review for last chapter later... watch this space!

[cichawk]

And everybody say hello to Matt Silver. =D

Keep it up cichawk! I'm a big Advanceshipper, and this fic has some awesome potential. The characters (Altair is cool), the plot at the moment - solid stuff. Got any ideas of the length yet?

Glad you've taken an interest in my fic. I plan to keep the story flowing at it's own pace, so the length will be quite... lengthy. I think I stated somewhere that part one will be over twenty chapters, and I plan on having three parts for this fic alone. There may be a sequel after that then.

Lord Zant

Okay, so the first review I wrote for last chapter evidently didn't make it...

So I'm gonna write it again.

=( I'm sure there was a lot to say about that last chapter too.

Eh, I don't care how late it is - you beat me. (Not hard to do, though...)

And yet again, I'm starting to slack off.

You didn't spell gray wrong, but I don't spell it that way. The dictionary agreed with both of us. (Stupid English Language...)

Now, I might not seem like much of a poet, but I do like to read and write it every now and then.

I just like that spelling of grey better. =P

I wrote more poems during my middle school years since there was a whole unit on poems way back then. I generally don't like reading it, but writing it is fun sometimes, though I definitely can't write it as easily as I used to (rhymezone.com and thesaurus.com anybody?).

To me, pacing would have been better with: "You are my eye and jewel." or "You're now my eye and jewel."

I liked how you made it rhyme, but I'd have seperated it into stanzas, or something. It looked a bit overwhelming at first.

Hm, I'm gonna make a little steal here, heh. Yeah looking back, while continuing from the previous line, your suggestion sounds better. Standing alone, my line sounds good, at least to me, because of the stressed syllables and whatnot, but in conjunction with the previous line, what you wrote would sound better.

And I'll also make some stanzas, as you suggested.

You also seemed to miss out on punctuation. Where I am, you end every line of a poem with punctuation, or a comma if you didn't have a sentence per line.

Lazy and didn't put much effort. Fixed.

So what the poem boils down to is this:
Great poem, but a bit lacking in formatting, in my opinion.

Same as last.

Anyway, just a little thing I wanted to say about this poem. I purposely made it vague because to me, this poem has a bit of a double meaning. It's pretty evident that this would be from Ash's point of view, but actually, it could really be told from anybody's point of view, even mind ;-)

[cichawk]

Foreword

Whew, it’s been a while.

First contest battle here, though truthfully, it’s not much different than any old battle. Enjoy.

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Chapter 17 – Double Edged

“Well, after much deliberation by our judges, we have now narrowed the field down to the 32 coordinators that will move on to the double contest battle round. The results should be showing on the screens at the top of the stadium in a few moments now.”

Every head in the stadium was turned upwards as the entire audience looked up at the large screens posted at the top of the stadium, anxiously waiting to see if their favorite coordinators would make it. Inside the staging room, the air became suddenly still as every coordinator in the room held his or her breath.

Then, with a blink, the screens that had been broadcasting the contest throughout the day showed a tournament bracket with portraits of the coordinators that had passed into the next round.

“And with that, the next preliminary battle round will begin immediately, starting with the two coordinators at the farthest left of the bracket.”

In the staging room, Dawn and May were both shocked, and not because that they had both made it to the next round, but because Dawn was to battle a highly acclaimed coordinator named Geoffrey in the very first battle, and May was to battle Altaïr in the very last.

The two girls stared at each other with large eyes until Dawn broke the eye contact when she spotted Geoffrey passing behind May, who shot a sinister grin to the blue-haired coordinator. Geoffrey had performed an extraordinary appeal by coordinating Dragon Dances complete with background music with his Altaria and Dragonair. Geoffrey himself was a flamboyant young man with the form and appearance of a dancer. His slick black hair that was parted to the side and his tight black vest and pants may cause people to question his masculinity and Pokémon battling skills, but Dawn had seen a tremendous amount of power and skill in his appeal to know he would not be an easy opponent. She assumed that he would most likely go with his two disclosed Dragon-types, so she would have to use Buneary for her Ice Beam attack. Dawn decided that she would have to use her overall best fighter, Buizel, to help in the battle in whatever way he could, though Water-type attacks are weak against Dragon-types.

May, who was now staring into blank space, felt a chill crawl down her spine as the thought of battling Altaïr plagued her mind. She could not oust the images of the trainer and his Eevee-evolutions completely annihilating everything she could throw out, even though May had not witnessed the battle between Altaïr and Ash. Panic and angst began to overtake the coordinator as the images continued.

“Dawn and Geoffrey, please head for the stage entrance for the first battle,” announced the familiar PA voice.

Dawn then summoned as much determination and focus for the ensuing battle before giving one last look at May, and then headed for the large sliding doors of the stage entrance. But determination and focus alone wouldn’t win the battle for her. She would need some luck, and perhaps some wisdom.

Geoffrey was already waiting by the door by the time Dawn got there, and with a graceful flick of his wrist, he allowed her to pass through the door first.

“Ladies first, of course,” Geoffrey said in his somewhat high pitched voice.

Dawn ignored the mocking tone in his voice and strode past the male coordinator, mind completely focused on the battle to come.

As Dawn and Geoffrey stepped into the sunlight, the crowd exploded, as usual, at the sight of the two coordinators. They continued to walk and wave until they reached the circular stage, which now had a battling field on it, and made their way for opposite ends of the field. MC Brian began his introduction for the battle.

“And here is our first battle for this afternoon! In the red box, we have Geoffrey, the well known Master of Dance from the Johto Region! And in the green box, we have Dawn, the young coordinator from Twinleaf Town that has proven herself worthy in contests pasts! You all know the rules of contest battles, so coordinators, prepare your Pokéballs!”

Dawn instinctively reached for Buneary and Buizel’s Pokéballs and grabbed one in each hand. Geoffrey, on the other end, tossed two of his own Pokéballs into the air and balanced both of them on his index fingers when they fell back down. The crowd Ooo’d at his display while Geoffrey just gave another smirk.

“Alright, choose your Pokémon now, and let the battle begin!”

“Altaria, Dragonair, show time!” said Geoffrey as he tossed his Pokéballs off his fingertips.

“Buneary, Buizel, spotlight!” Dawn flung her two Pokéballs into the air as well.

On the red side, Geoffrey’s two Pokéballs opened up with large bursts of blue light, thanks to the ball capsules that he used, and revealed his two Dragon-types.

Dawn’s Pokéballs opened up with rainbow designs, revealing her Buizel and her…

“PIPLUP?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE?!”

“Pip-Piplup?” said the confused Penguin Pokémon.

“And looks like Dawn has decided to go with two Water-type Pokémon against two Dragon-types; an interesting matchup choice on her part. But it’s not just type advantages that win battles, so let’s see how this battle will turn out!”

A bell sounded and the five minute clock began to run. However, Dawn was still confused on how she managed to grab Piplup’s Pokéball instead of Buneary’s. She quickly checked the Pokéballs that she had strapped onto her waist and saw that Buneary’s Pokéball was still there, but not in its usual spot. The coordinator started cursing at her simple folly.

“Perform Dragon Dance!” yelled a voice from across the field. Dawn snapped back and noticed that the battle had begun. Dragonair and Altaria had already begun dancing gracefully by swirling around and swaying. Dawn knew she had to act fast.

“Buizel, harass them with Aqua Jet and Piplup, slow them down with Bubblebeam!”

Dawn’s Buizel nodded once as he quickly picked up speed and was soon airborne with a veil of water around him, charging at the two Dragon-types. Piplup began charging up for a Bubblebeam attack.

“Altaria, Dragonair, perform Safeguard!” commanded Geoffrey. Spheres of glowing blue light appeared around the two Pokémon, protecting them from any slowing affect by Piplup’s Bubblebeam. Buizel began slamming into the Dragons with Aqua Jet, but the two Dragons seemed to be largely unaffected by the attack. Piplup’s Bubblebeam came into contact soon afterward, but harmlessly bounced off the Safeguard. Dawn’s points dropped slightly.

“And what a brilliant move by Geoffrey, using Safeguard to render Piplup’s Bubblebeam useless so he can continue to speed up his Pokémon!” The crowd cheered loudly for the male coordinator.

Dawn scowled at Geoffrey’s good move, and began thinking up of another plan of attack. Meanwhile, Dragonair and Altaria continued to perform Dragon Dance, which increased their attack power and speed even higher. Geoffrey’s points dropped a fraction due to his repeated use of one move.

“Alright, if we can’t slow them, we might as well trap them! Piplup, Whirlpool now!” ordered Dawn.

Piplup nodded in acknowledgement as he jumped into the air.

“Pippppp…” said the Penguin Pokémon as he extended his body upwards and turned white.

“Dragonair, perform Outrage!”

Dragonair ceased his dancing and began flying towards the jumping Piplup. Dawn knew an Outrage would be devastating to Piplup, so she had to counter it before it was too late.

“Buizel, give Dragonair a barrage of Sonicbooms, fast!” she yelled out desperately.

“Altaria, perform DragonBreath,” said Geoffrey while smirking.

Altaria opened his mouth and a green beam exited his mouth, heading straight for Buizel. Meanwhile, Dragonair was only a few meters away from Piplup.

“Buizel, Aqua Jet into Sonicboom!” cried out Dawn.

Using his great speed, Buizel dodged the incoming DragonBreath with Aqua Jet and flew through the air to intercept the rampaging Dragonair that threatened his teammate. However, with the speed increase of Dragon Dance, Buizel was too late as Dragonair made contact with Piplup and began to thrash him around.

“No! Piplup!” Dawn could only watch in horror as Dragonair tore at her defenseless Pokémon with unreal quickness and power. In the air, Piplup cried out his name in pain as Dragonair continued to damage him.

Dawn’s points took another hit as Piplup took the attack. Not knowing exactly what to do, Buizel decided to fire off his Sonicbooms at an unsuspecting Altaria, doing damage to him. Geoffrey’s points took a hit as well.

Eventually, the onslaught of Dragonair’s Outrage ended, and a severely beat up Piplup hit the ground.

“Pip…lup…” said the Penguin Pokémon weakly as it crawled on the ground.

“Piplup… I’m so sorry…” whispered Dawn softly to herself. She brought out his Pokéball to recall him back, as he looked to be in no condition to continue fighting, but as soon as Piplup saw the Pokéball come out, he jumped onto his feet and puffed up his chest proudly, showing that he still had some fight left in him.

Dawn was thinking about recalling Piplup despite the protest, but as she held the Pokéball out, she remembered Altaïr’s words to Ash during their battle.

"Your Pokémon are the ones that are in the heat of battle, so the Pokémon would know better than anyone what the consequences may be if they make a bad move. With a Pokémon's own instincts, they are the ones that know what the best course of action is, because they are the ones that have done actual battling and have received battle wounds.”

Dawn figured that if Altaïr’s Pokémon had the instincts to battle on their own, then her Pokémon would at least have the instincts to know when to keep fighting. She smiled brightly and nodded to Piplup, communicating silently to her starter Pokémon.

“That Outrage attack looked to be devastating!” announced MC Brian. “But Piplup still seems to have some fight left in him. Now the question is, should Dawn still let him in that condition? On the other end, Dragonair looks to be confused after that powerful attack, and Altaria is still recovering from that vicious Sonicboom attack!”

Dawn heard the things MC Brian said, and she began to strategize once again. There was still three and a half minutes left on the clock, plenty of time for her to turn the battle around. Dawn’s points were a bit over three quarters while Geoffrey had only lost about one eighth of his points. She knew that she couldn’t defeat Geoffrey’s Pokémon normally, due to the type disadvantage and the weakened state of Piplup, so she had to find a way to turn the points around, or find another way to do damage.

“That’s it! Dragonair is confused, so if we can make him attack himself, he should cause a lot of damage to himself because of his high attack, and make them lose some points as well!”

“Alright, Piplup, get a Whirlpool around Altaria to trap him. Buizel, protect Piplup with anything you got; Dragonair is too confused to do anything right now!”

“Altaria, perform DragonBreath to drive them back!” Geoffrey, who had not expected Piplup to survive the Outrage attack, now had no idea what to do.

Altaria opened his mouth once again, letting out the green beam aimed at Piplup, but Buizel skillfully deflected the attack with his Water Gun. Geoffrey’s points went down for having his attack countered.

Piplup, now clear of any threats, jumped into the air and began charging up for Whirlpool once again. Several seconds passed, and Piplup finished gathering his energy and unleashed his Whirlpool on Altaria.

The Whirlpool scored a direct hit on Altaria as he finished his DragonBreath attack, trapping the Humming Pokémon in a torrent of water.

“Altaria, perform… perform…” but Geoffrey could only watch on as his Pokémon was thrown around by the spinning water. Geoffrey’s points dropped to a point lower than Dawn’s.

“Piplup, hold Whirlpool for as long as possible! Buizel, it’s your turn. Hit and run Dragonair with Aqua Jet now!”

“Bui!” saluted the Sea Weasel Pokémon. The familiar cloak of water surrounded Buizel as he picked up speed and jumped into the air. Dragonair was still confused from his Outrage attack and was squirming around wildly. Buizel began to prod the Dragon Pokémon with Aqua Jet, and provoked Dragonair to strike back, but due to his confused state, he began to damage himself.

“Dawn seems to have taken control of the battle now, trapping Altaria with Whirlpool and sending Buizel to attack Dragonair so Dragonair would damage himself due to his confusion! What an ingenious strategy thought up on the spot by the young coordinator!” the crowd cheered louder then ever for Dawn.

Buizel continued to poke at Dragonair with a fury of Aqua Jets, causing Dragonair to repeatedly retaliate, only to hit himself due to his confused state. Geoffrey’s points lowered further and further all the way to the halfway point. There was only two minutes left on the clock.

“Altaria, Dragonair… perform something!” yelled out Geoffrey in a high pitched voice. He could only watch on as his Pokémon took damage and his points drop.

Eventually, Piplup’s Whirlpool began to falter, and the water began to spin more slowly. Soon enough, Piplup dropped to the ground, exhausted, which allowed Altaria to be released from his water prison.

“Alright! Altaria, perform DragonBreath to finish off Piplup!” Geoffrey commanded with renewed vigor.

“Buizel, do what you have to!” said Dawn, taking the words of Altaïr into account once again and putting faith in her Pokémon’s natural abilities.

Buizel heard her words and nodded. Dragonair’s daze was beginning to wear off, and Buizel noticed that so he began to taunt the Dragon-type. Dragonair was pretty worn out from his own self-beating, but he still had enough to finish off Buizel effortlessly. The arrogant Dragon Pokémon soon became enraged at the small Water-type that had caused him so much pain, and began charging at Buizel with intent on using Outrage without his trainer’s order.

Geoffrey observed what was going on from the ground and noticed something very wrong.

“Dragonair! No! Stop!” but his cries were unheard by the rampaging Pokémon.

Buizel could only smirk at the vain Pokémon and began to use Aqua Jet to run away. Dragonair glared at the Sea Weasel Pokémon and picked up speed thanks to his Dragon Dances. The Dragon-type was gaining fast on Buizel, but when it looked like Dragonair was in reach to pulverize Buizel, Buizel quickly swerved to the right, causing Dragonair to slam into the only other thing in the air.

Altaria chirped in surprise as his DragonBreath was interrupted by a collision to his back. Dragonair was unable to stop his Outrage attack since once he was on the road to use it, he could not undo the attack. The two teammates tangled with one another, Altaria taking large amounts of damage from Dragonair’s Outrage, and Dragonair becoming even more confused and worn out as he kept on attacking. After about fifteen seconds of the attack, both Dragonair and Altaria fell out of the sky, worn and beat. Due to Dragon-types being weak against their own type, Altaria was instantly knocked out by the powerful attack. Dragonair was just too beat to continue on fighting. The battle was over.

“Amazing! Though at a big disadvantage against Geoffrey’s two powerful Dragons, Dawn was able to exploit their weaknesses and use their attacks against themselves. Such tactics deserves a great commendation, don’t you agree folks?”

The sounds of cheers and applause by the audience filled up the entire stadium for the victory of Dawn. Dawn herself was stunned at what she had just witnessed, but soon brought herself back together and gracefully bowed in every direction.

“Congratulations on winning Dawn! You will advance to the second rounds of appeals on day two of this contest, where the competition will be tougher than ever! But for now, you and your Pokémon deserve a rest for a job well done!”

Dawn finished her bowing and began to exit the stage while waving to the ecstatic audience. As she made it to the short stairway, she crossed paths with Geoffrey, who gave her a disdainful look, but held out a hand to shake nonetheless.

“G’job,” mumbled the disgruntled coordinator.

“Yeah…” replied Dawn, feeling slightly awkward shaking his hand.

“And of course, ladies first,” he said while motioning with his hands to let her go down the stairs first.

“Thanks…”

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Afterthought

Well, that was all quite interesting to write. To be honest, the stuff I can write is pretty restricted since Dawn’s Pokémon all have pretty small and strange movesets, so it’s pretty difficult making something out of the ordinary with that. Hopefully this turned out alright though.

First chapter I’ve written over 2500 words in a while too.

The chapter title “Double Edged” comes from the cliché, or whatever it’s supposed to be called, of the “double edged sword,” saying that everything has a consequence… or something to that effect. Anyway, Outrage was definitely a double edged sword here.

[EarthBorn]

Ah, another chapter. I kinda missed reviewing your poem, but in short, it was good, and so was this new chapter.

First things first:

May was to battle Altaïr in the very last.

Aah, how touching that will be indeed. The battle of irony; maybe Dawn will be on the other side (if) she makes it to the finals.
Or maybe Altair won't show up and ... nah. He will have to show up.

Well, that was all quite interesting to write. To be honest, the stuff I can write is pretty restricted since Dawn’s Pokémon all have pretty small and strange movesets, so it’s pretty difficult making something out of the ordinary with that. Hopefully this turned out alright though.

I guess battles are interesting to write if you put some creativity into them. This sure had you variation of what we call "classic self-pawn" didn't it?
It just goes to show that you can't plan everything in advance like Geoffrey did, you need a good presence of mind.

So, this chapter was one of pure battle description. I guess we're going to have two more: one for May and one for Altair. I can't wait to see the latter's battle now, but I do hope you put some plot elements into those two.
Maybe you're cooking up something big during this whole mini-festival (it certainly is like a miniature Grand Festival though), but let's wait and see.

All in all, a good, but basically filler chapter, with some decorous descriptions. I say you keep it going!

[cichawk]

Foreword

Hm, I didn’t actually take a whole year to get this chapter out.

On with this little contest saga, though still much to happen and not everything is going to be what you expect.

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Chapter 18 – Fear, Fight, Flee

“What should I do what should I do what should I do…”

An extremely nervous brown haired coordinator paced back and forth, ignoring the awkward stares the other coordinators were giving her.

“Why me… why out of all the coordinators here… why do I have to battle him?”

The brunette brought her fingers up to mouth and began to gently gnaw on her fingernails.

“I can’t beat him… I just can’t. I know I can’t.”

Eventually, the distressed girl ceased her pacing and took a seat on an empty couch.

“I’m sorry Ash… I guess I just can’t show you the progress I’ve made since I… since I left you… to go to Johto… that is, if I’ve even improved at all.”

May buried her face in her hands and sighed deeply, holding back the emotions that were now welling up in her chest.

“No, no more crying. I’m past all that now… All the contests, Ash, Drew, that’s made me stronger now. I can handle feelings like this now…”

But as she tried to suppress her emotions, images of Ash looking at her with disappointment for losing the battle clouded her mind. A slight sob escaped her throat when she thought about how Ash would react to her loss when they finally met face to face.

Then the thought of Altaïr entered her brain, and the image of him looking at her with his impassive, yet deadly look probed her, sending chills down her spine. But she also felt herself blush while looking at him.

“I… I still don’t know who my feelings are for yet… but if I do terribly in this battle… neither one of them would be interested…”

For the first time since she discovered Drew cheating on her, she felt truly alone. There was nobody that could console her at this time, for she could not reveal the feelings she had.

“I don’t know who…”

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Altaïr sat lazily on his stool while he ordered up another drink. He could feel the strange feeling he always felt before a mission, no matter how small the mission was. The feeling was mostly just a slight tingly feeling in his chest, but it was enough to be noticeable. Some may identify it as anxiety or nervousness, but Altaïr knew that was not what he felt, since he was already used to the activities his side-job included. The feeling the teenaged boy always got was something even he could not comprehend.

But the feeling was unimportant, for the time was 5:45 pm. There was still one battle before Altaïr’s battle, so he knew he would not be able to make it since he planned his exit at 5:50, giving him enough time to walk to his destination and perform his job. He would just forfeit the match to May, since the contest really had no significance to him; it was just a little fun game he wanted to play while he passed the time. But now, it was time to get serious.

Altaïr took the last gulp of his drink before turning around on the stool and standing up. He checked the time on one of the flat screens before deciding he should head out a bit earlier. The trainer grabbed his belongings from the floor and began making his way for the door before the PA system sounded.

“Caleb has forfeited the upcoming battle, so Janine wins the match by default. Altaïr and May, please report to the stage entrance for the final match of the day.”

The tingly feeling in Altaïr’s chest left him as he heard the announcement. Another strange thing about the feeling was that it only occurred before a mission when he was reviewing it; never before, during, or after that time. The thought of the upcoming contest battle intrigued him slightly, as he had never bee in one before, though he figured nothing would really be different. He checked the time again, which showed 5:47. If he hurried with the battle, then made haste for his target, he should be able to make it on time. Besides, Altaïr could use a small warm-up before the events of the coming evening.

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“Caleb has forfeited the upcoming battle, so Janine wins the match by default. Altaïr and May please report to the stage entrance for the final battle.”

May snapped to a standing position from here seat on the couch. For the past few hours, the brunette had just been sitting in the same spot since her angst took over her mind.

“It’s time…”

May grudgingly moved here stiff legs and made her way for the stage entrance, feeling as though she was walking to her grave.

When the stage doors were in view, she saw the tall figure of a familiar trainer standing with his back leaning on the wall, staring at an upwards angle at seemingly nothing. May felt her nerves tense up as she approached the boy she had found an attraction in but also feared. Altaïr eventually looked down and saw May advancing towards him, but made no reaction to her presence, instead he simply stared into her eyes for a good second before he broke the eye contact.

The stage doors then opened up, allowing Altaïr and May to enter the stage to battle. Altaïr got up from his position on the wall and briskly walked through the door and into the short hall that linked the stadium. May hesitated in front of the doors momentarily until her legs began to automatically walk through the door, taking her into the stadium as well.

Once May and Altaïr had taken their positions on the opposite ends of the battlefield, MC Brian made his usual introductory speech for the audience.

“And now, we have our final battle for the day! This match will be between May, the Hoenn-native coordinator who has obtained many notable achievements through her career, and Altaïr, the darkhorse trainer that has proven himself worthy during the appeal rounds. The winner of this match will advance to the final rounds tomorrow, so do your best! Now, select your Pokémon to begin the battle!”

May, not having much knowledge about what Pokémon Altaïr owned besides Glaceon and Leafeon had to make her Pokémon choices on the spot.

“Blaziken, Eevee, show time!” May said as she performed a graceful spin and sent out two Pokéballs.

One ball exploded in a burst of flames while the other in a rainbow as May’s Blaze and Evolution Pokémon emerged from the dazzling displays, announcing their names as they appeared.

May figured that since Altaïr’s only known Pokémon were of Ice and Grass types, she deduced that Blaziken with her fire attacks would be a great choice. Eevee and her tricky fighting style would prove to be useful against any opponent as well.

Silently, Altaïr brought his right hand to his backpack strap that ran across his chest, which had his six differently colored Pokéballs attached to it, and held it there while he made his decision on who he would use. After a few moments, he quickly fingered for the black and yellow Pokéballs, detached them, and pitched them into the battlefield. The two balls opened up with plain bursts of white light and revealed two of his Eevee-evolutions.

“And in the red box, May has chosen Blaziken and Eevee, while Altaïr in the green box has chosen Umbreon and Jolteon. This will definitely prove to be an interesting battle!” commentated MC Brian.

The bell sounded and the battle began.

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“Oh man, this doesn’t look good…” said Brock while feeding Happiny a bottle. “And I’m saying that even though we’ve never seen any of Altaïr’s Pokémon other than Glaceon and Leafeon in action.”

“Pika Pikachu…” cooed Pikachu as his ears drooped.

Ash however, had differing thoughts on his mind.

“Come on guys, don’t think like that!” Ash snapped, surprising his two companions and the baby Pokémon. All three of them blankly stared at the slightly seething trainer.

After the initial stun of the outburst, Brock was able to respond back with his logic.

“But… Ash, you fought Altaïr… so you know full well of the magnitude of his abilities,” said Brock, though more carefully in fear of causing Ash to erupt again.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s not all about strength and speed when it comes to battles!” countered Ash. He clenched his fist as he looked down, hat partially covering his face. “I may have lost to him, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to beat him. I’ve been defeated by Gary many times before, but during the Silver Conference, I was able to pull through and defeat him when it mattered the most.” Then the trainer shot his fist into the air and looked towards the battlefield and at May.

“I believe in May, and I believe that she can beat Altaïr, because I know she has the ability and determination to… and also because she’s my friend.”

Brock was shocked once again, but this time at Ash’s ability to make such a mature conjecture. He then smiled at his young companion and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re right Ash. Even if Altaïr seems undefeatable, it doesn’t mean I should stop supporting a friend and think of the worst. I’m sorry for thinking like that; some friend I am, huh?”

Ash looked up as he felt Brock’s hand and smiled back. “It’s nothing to be sorry about; you were just being good ‘ol Brock!”

“Pikachu Pi!” chimed in the Electric-Mouse Pokémon happily.

“And May has called out the first attack, ordering her Blaziken to dive in for a Close Combat attack! A risky move to use this early in the battle!”

This announcement snapped Ash, Brock, and Pikachu back into watching the battle that May was now fighting.

Blaziken began running speedily towards Umbreon and Jolteon, who both stood motionless in the positions they had been first released from their Pokéballs. Altaïr stood still as well with his body and legs completely straight instead of in a battle pose.

As Blaziken came within range, she made a great leap and was soon high in the air above, readying to come back down and engage in fierce hand-to-hand combat with the two Eevee-evolutions. But as soon as Blaziken reached the peak of her jump, Umbreon and Jolteon both sped away in opposite directions out of the area Blaziken was jumping into.

“And it looks like Altaïr’s Pokémon are finally taking part of the action, though Altaïr has given no order to his Umbreon or Jolteon! What could this silent trainer be up to?”

Blaziken landed on the ground and looked around quickly to see where he two opponents were, only to receive a hard white tail to her face.

“Using Close-Combat had made Blaziken open to an attack, which Umbreon was able to exploit and use an Iron Tail, or so it looks to be, on May’s Blaziken. Again, Altaïr gave no order for the attack, so what the attack really was is currently unknown to me.” May’s points decreased a small amount at that.

“Eevee, use Shadow Ball on Umbreon, now!” yelled May, whose voice was projected into the stadium by the large speakers attached to the large widescreens stationed at the top.

From Ash, Brock, and Pikachu’s point of view, they could see the small figure of Eevee summoning a ball of black matter in front of her. However, when Eevee had completed the task, she was abruptly interrupted by a flash of yellow that collided with her, stopping the attack from being launched. Eevee was sent flying as Jolteon materialized from the yellow blur and readied his stance for another attack. May’s points took a hit once again.

“This isn’t looking good for May…” Brock said warily.

“C’mon May, I know you can find a way,” Ash whispered quietly to himself.

May could only watch as her points went down and her Pokémon fall down from Umbreon and Jolteon’s attacks. She had thought that Altaïr was a strong trainer, but she never imagined that his Pokémon had this much capability. What jarred her most though, was that Altaïr had not spoken a single word to his Pokémon, yet they were staging a full assault.

The coordinator could only cringe as she saw Jolteon smash into Eevee again with another lightning-speed attack, then disappearing into a yellow blur once more. Something had to be done before either her Pokémon were knocked out or all her points were lost.

“Blaziken, help out Eevee before it’s too late!” May said somewhat desperately.

Blaziken grunted in acknowledgement and began to run to where Eevee was to aid her, but Altaïr’s Pokémon were not about to let that happen.

“Umbre!” cried a voice from behind Blaziken, causing her to turn around and see Umbreon running towards her. Blaziken knew that she would have to defend herself if she didn’t want another Iron Tail to the back of her skull, so she abandoned the order that May gave her and struck a fighting stance.

“Blaziken, no! You have to help out Eevee, or else neither of you are going to end up well!”

But Blaziken was unable to respond to her trainer’s command as Umbreon had now jumped off the ground and was flying through the air to reach the Blaze Pokémon. When Umbreon was only several meters away, he threw himself into a series of somersaults, making him seem like a rolling wheel, and continued to approach Blaziken. Blaziken, unfamiliar with such a move, was caught off guard and had no idea on what to do without May’s guidance, so thus she was caught completely by surprise when a glowing white tail stuck out from the curled up form of Umbreon and struck her in the skull once again, knocking her to the ground.

“Blaziken, please, trust me! You and Eevee have to use teamwork in order to stand a chance!”

The obscure form of Jolteon struck Eevee with another attack with his body and sent the Evolution-Pokémon tumbling next to Blaziken. The battle had only been going on for just over a minute and May’s points were just above the halfway point.

“Hmm…” Brock hummed.

“What is it?” questioned his companion.

“Pika?”

“I think I’m starting to notice something with Altaïr’s Pokémon.” Brock brought a hand up to his chin.

“Huh? What’s that?”

“I-… never mind right now, I need to see more of the battle to be certain.”

“Oh…” was all Ash could say back. “Come on May, I know you must have something you can do…”

“Well folks, from the looks of things, this battle has turned into a very one-sided match. It seems like May’s Pokémon are no match for Altaïr’s, and now May’s points are teetering just above the halfway point. Will May be able to pull off a comeback at this point? There’s still much time on the clock, so a lot can change in that time!”

Eevee and Blaziken both got up from the ground slowly, groaning as they felt the pains of their wounds. They stood back to back in the very center of the battlefield, facing Jolteon and Umbreon who stood facing the center at opposite ends.

“Eevee, Blaziken, you have to listen to me! You remember all those times in Johto when it seemed like all was lost right? Well, we were able to pull together with teamwork and fight back, sometimes even winning the match! All I ask is that you two do that, and whatever the outcome of the match is, I’ll still be proud of you!”

“Whoa, something’s changed in her…” thought Ash. He looked up at the widescreens and saw that the camera was now zoomed in on her. He noticed that her eyes had a familiar look in them, the look of intensity whenever she was in a battle, a look that he knew well and learned to love whenever he watched her in a contest. The strange feeling of whenever he thought about May returned to him as continued to stare at her sapphire eyes on the plasma screens.

“Now, Eevee, use Dig! Blaziken, Lava Plume on the whole battlefield!” The coordinator’s eyes sparked with vigor as she found a confidence in herself that she thought she had lost long ago.

“Even if I lose, it won’t matter, as long as I do my best… for Ash.”

“Jolt.”

“Bre.”

Altaïr’s two Pokémon nodded at each other and began to run in a circle around May’s pinned Pokémon, Jolteon at a slower speed to stay in rhythm with Umbreon.

Eevee immediately dug a hole under Blaziken’s feet and was soon underground, without anybody knowing where she would pop up next.

Blaziken, who stayed aboveground, waited for Eevee to disappear from sight before attacking.

“Blazeeeeeeee,” chanted the Blaze Pokémon as flames engulfed her body.

Jolteon and Umbreon continued running in circles awaiting the attack that was soon to come.

“KENNNN!” roared Blaziken. The fire around her body was projected outwards in a circular wave and began expanding radially.

Umbreon and Jolteon moved away from the wall of fire while still maintaining their circular path until they were running on the sidelines.

The flames continued to extend outwards towards Altaïr’s Pokémon but as the wall of fire was almost touching them, they both jumped high into the air and over the flames. They were now on the inside of the circle of fire and began running towards Blaziken, who was now defenseless in the center against two Pokémon.

“Blaziken, Flamethrower into the hole!”

“Blaziken!” said her Pokémon as she opened her mouth and shot a stream of flames downwards into the hole beneath her feet.

“What’s this?” said Brock with excitement rising in his voice.

“I think I know what’s coming,” grinned Ash.

Pillars of fire then shot out of the ground at random points on the field, surprising both Umbreon and Jolteon, who now had to dodge them in order to get to Blaziken. However, more pillars continued to shoot up as Eevee continued to dig holes while Blaziken kept firing her Flamethrower attack into it.

“What an amazing move by May, who now has Altaïr’s Pokémon dodging blindly in order to avoid being burned to a crisp!” Altaïr’s points went down for the first time in the match.

“Jolt Jolt!” barked out Jolteon as he began to enter his maximum speed and into a yellow blur.

“Umbreon!” said Umbreon in response. Umbreon then began making his way towards Blaziken, who was still too concentrated on shooting the flames down into the hole to notice him approaching. Umbreon then jumped into the air and came down hard on Blaziken’s back with his head, causing Blaziken to cease her firing and reel backwards in pain.

A yellow flash then appeared and brushed against Blaziken, leaving behind what looked to be yellow needles in her feathers. The flash appeared three more times in less than a second, leaving behind more yellow needles.

“Ah! What’s going on?” cried May in confusion. But her question went unanswered as Umbreon slammed into Blaziken’s back with his skull once again, causing the Blaze Pokémon to fall forward and the needles to dig farther into her body.

“Even with that unorthodox tactic, Altaïr’s Pokémon are still able to dodge and counter it,” Brock said gravely.

Ash could only growl softly at the trainer that was pummeling May’s Pokémon below.

“Eevee, come out and defend Blaziken with Shadow Ball!”

Eevee emerged from a new hole next to Blaziken and shot out a Shadow Ball at Umbreon, who had just landed on the ground. It looked like the attack would connect, but even though Umbreon had just grazed the ground, he was still able to perform a back flip and dodge the attack which caused a small crater in the ground.

“Things are starting to get dim for May as her points continue to decline!” announced MC Brian. May looked up at the scoreboard and saw that her points were now around one-third while Altaïr still looked to have about 90% of his. She felt her stomach sink as she saw that there was only two minutes to go; she was running out of time and options.

Suddenly, Blaziken, who was on her knees breathing heavily, began to glow with a fiery veil, but this time it was not due to Lava Plume.

“Yes! Blaziken’s Blaze ability is finally coming into effect!” cheered Ash.

“Pika Pikachu Pi!” cheered Pikachu as well.

Blaziken continued to glow and the flames on her wrists grew larger as the effect continued until it was in full effect, which then the glow vanished and Blaziken got up from her knees, ready for more to come.

Jolteon then exited his hyperspeed and appeared next to Umbreon, both staring at Blaziken and Eevee, who were side to side. The clock ticked down to one and a half minutes as the standoff continued, neither side making a single move.

“If May doesn’t make a move soon, the time will run out and she’ll lose the match!” Ash was now sitting at the edge of his seat. “COME ON MAY, YOU CAN DO THIS!” He yelled as loud as he could with the roaring crowd.

May turned her head upwards as she thought she heard someone call her name, but dismissed it and told herself she must have been hearing things. She needed all the focus she could get to end this battle on good terms.

“Alright, we have enough time to pull off one more attack. Eevee, use Quick Attack!”

“Eevee!” cried the small Pokémon as she went into a sprint, heading towards Jolteon and Umbreon who stood their ground.

“And it looks like this will be May’s last ditch effort in order to try to pull this battle back together. An anticlimactic way to end an exciting battle,” announced MC Brian.

“This… this can’t really be the way the battle is going to end, is it?” thought Ash.

Eevee continued to speed across the field without hesitation, putting her full trust in her trainer’s decision. She was only a couple of meters away from the opposing Pokémon when…

“Eevee, Baton Pass, now!”

Both Umbreon and Jolteon’s ears perked up as, in a matter of a second, the small Eevee in front of them had disappeared with a pop and was instantly replaced with a large Blaziken with two glowing fists. In the mere meters that remained, the two Pokémon were caught off guard and were unable to respond, allowing Blaziken to Sky Uppercut both of them at the same time.

Both Pokémon cried out in pain as they were sent flying upwards, while Altaïr himself seemed to be bent forward with his hands on his stomach for some reason.

“YES!” shouted Ash.

“PIKA!”

“It looks like May finally found a flaw in Altaïr’s Pokémon,” said Brock proudly.

“Huh, what’s that?” questioned Ash after he had finished cheering.

“Altaïr said his Pokémon learn how to battle through their experience from other battles right?” Ash nodded. “So that means his Pokémon can only predict attacks that are used standardly by other Pokémon. When unorthodox methods are used, his Pokémon are unable to react as quickly since they have never combated such techniques. And since Altaïr gives no orders, the Pokémon only have their instincts to rely on, which can sometimes be too slow in surprising situations.

“Ah, that makes sense!” Ash said.

“Yes, and his Pokémon also have another weakness, and that’s their overconfidence.

Ash chuckled as Brock made that statement. “Well, that happens to everybody, especially me sometimes.”

After the hit, Umbreon and Jolteon both stayed airborne for several more seconds before gravity took control and brought them crashing back into the ground. However, even after taking the powerful hit, they were still able to manage to get back onto their feet without too much difficulty, due to the fact that it was the first time they had taken damage in the battle.

Altaïr however, was now on his knees with his hands clutching his chest and stomach, but his face could not be viewed by May or any of the spectators. The people that noticed his strange behavior began shooting questions amongst each other.

“And what a brilliant move on May’s part, using Baton Pass to quickly switch her two Pokémon around, allowing Blaziken to deliver a powerful blow to Jolteon and Umbreon! However, Jolteon and Umbreon seem to still be in healthy condition, and a single blow is not enough to take down Altaïr’s points. With less than a minute to go, it seems like winning is now impossible for May.”

“Jolteon, Umbreon, return!”

Everybody in the stadium went quiet when the order was given. Two red beams shot out of the Pokéballs on Altaïr’s chest and took his two Pokémon back into their respective balls. Altaïr was now standing up again, though he was slightly hunched over due to whatever was bothering him.

“What’s this? It looks like Altaïr’s now forfeiting the match!” announced MC Brian with bewilderment. Ash, Brock, Pikachu, and the rest of the spectators could only watch with jaws dropped as the trainer who was dominating the battle was now resigning.

“What’s going on?” shouted May from across the field, feeling her face and body become flushed. “Why are you forfeiting?”

“I have to go,” said Altaïr in a soft, calm, tone, though his voice was still somehow heard clearly by May.

At that, he turned around and began walking off the stage. The entire stadium was now deathly silent as the mysterious boy made his way down the stairs and towards the stage doors.

May, who now had a flurry of thoughts and emotions running through her, stood with an astonished look on her face, and wondered what in the world had just happened. She then dropped to her knees and stared blankly at the teenaged boy’s back.

--------------------

“What the hell was that feeling… that feeling when they were hit?”

“Why did it… hurt, why did I feel I was hit by a car?”

“Ugh, no matter, I have a job to do, and I’m gonna have to make some haste now.”

“I’ll figure it out later.”

--------------------

Afterthought

No hints or spoilers for you readers. =P

Things will slowly be revealed at the story’s pacing. That’s just how I roll.

Threw in some alliteration into the chapter title. It sort of chronologically tells the events of the chapter.

Longest chapter I’ve written in a while.

[Pors]

I don't think I've ever given a review to this story so I thought it's about damn time

First of all, awesome battle. You really managed to make this contest battle seem as it's supposed to be, namely the usage and showcasing of the pokémons attacks and abilities. Kudos to the very original attack-combinations.

Also, I'm really starting to like your OC. At first I seemed as if he was the typical unbeatable and quiet trainer but I see you have somethings about him you have yet to tell us and I'm intrigued to know more.

All in all, great story. I'd love to be on a pm list if you have one.

[EarthBorn]

Alright, it's good to see another chapter here.

It seems like Altaïr’s Pokémon are no match for May’s,

I think it would be "It seems like May's Pokemon are no match for Altair's"

“What the hell was that feeling… that feeling when they were hit?”

“Why did it… hurt, why did I feel I was hit by a car?”

“Ugh, no matter, I have a job to do, and I’m gonna have to make some haste now.”

“I’ll figure it out later.”

Hm, seems like some sort of a connection.
What is it based on I wonder, and how did it formulate?

Apart from that anyway, this was another battle chapter, and was kinda nice. We finally saw Altiar's weakness - I guess he'll have to work on that somehow. You did well with handling the descriptions and all.

I really don't have much else to say until the plot progresses, so I guess May's now going to proceed to the next day.
Oh, and since this was the last battle of the day, maybe Ash and May finally meet too.

Good job, and good luck with the next chapter.

[Lord Zant]

I shall be picky about grammar first, and then give a review. Mwahaha.

“Altaïr said his Pokémon learn how to battle through their experience from other battles right?” Ash nodded. “So that means his Pokémon can only predict attacks that are used standardly by other Pokémon. When unorthodox methods are used, his Pokémon are unable to react as quickly since they have never combated such techniques. And since Altaïr gives no orders, the Pokémon only have their instincts to rely on, which can sometimes be too slow in surprising situations.

“Ah, that makes sense!” Ash said.

“Yes, and his Pokémon also have another weakness, and that’s their overconfidence.

Brock lost two end quotations here.

while Altaïr himself seemed to be bent forward with his hands on his stomach for some reason.

Reminds me of the Battle in the Viridian Gym against Team Rocket in the anime, and "After Hoenn" by PowerShot.

“No, no more crying. I’m past all that now… All the contests, Ash, Drew, that’s made me stronger now. I can handle feelings like this now…”

She sounds like she's trying to depart from reality. If you've used the bathroom before, you'll eventually end up using it again, and in the same way. It's just part of being human, those emotions. They'll happen sometimes. For some reason, that quote made me think of Anakin Skywalker.

A slight sob escaped her throat when she thought about how Ash would react to her loss when they finally met face to face.

Obviously, she doesn't remember Ash.

For the first time since she discovered Drew cheating on her

As I suspected...

He could feel the strange feeling he always felt before a mission, no matter how small the mission was. The feeling was mostly just a slight tingly feeling in his chest, but it was enough to be noticeable. Some may identify it as anxiety or nervousness, but Altaïr knew that was not what he felt, since he was already used to the activities his side-job included.

Uh... Interesting.

For the past few hours, the brunette had just been sitting in the same spot since her angst took over her mind.

Angst. No Kidding, if she spent hours just SITTING.


So, aside from the feelings of May and the VGE (Viridian Gym Effect) of Altair,
This was a fairly straightforward chapter.

Your contest and battle scenes never fail to amaze me, though. You have so much ability there.

As for my reason for the late (and somewhat short) reply:
Serebii servers. That about sums it up. I've officially started to save every reply I begin to write, that's how bad it is on my internet connection. Having to write a reply several times gets pretty old, yeah?