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Thread: Pokemon: Neo Genesis (AaMayL/Advanceshipping, PG-13)

  1. #51
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    Wow, the "Girl who resembles May" is really starting to sound like May now, unless it is a different Drew, Ash, Mimey, Delia, and so on. ;p

    Altair is seeming much warmer then I originially thought him to be, even to a complete stranger. (Although you seemed to hint that he knew her from somewhere.)

    Yay for the shunnung of Drew, I love to strongly dislike that guy.

    Don't worry about the time, it's not a problem. I am going through that myself, what with getting two puppies...

    I didn't see any grammar mistakes, so good job there.

    Nice to have you back, keep on writing at your leisure.

  2. #52
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    And of course, my next tradition, replying to all of your wonderful replies to this thread.

    So, about the story, yeah, sucks to be May. But, apparently, life's good for Drew. Maybe. Guess we might find out, eh? And about the new girl. Not that I care overly about them, though. Do what you want.
    Currently I don't know where I'll put Drew back in the story, or how I'll make him act when he comes back. Pretty sure sometime in the late-ish future he may be around though.

    Altaďr seemed to be acting differently towards May, but I suppose it could be viewed as being alike to him helping Ash, Brock, and Dawn, too. Is it inherent in his nature to aid people in distress? Seems that way.
    Well, all the reason more to read more and learn more about his character. =) But let me tell you that even though he seems to have no flaws at the moment, he does have flaws. Character flaws are an important part of any character.

    Also, it seems as though, Ash, Brock, and Dawn don't appear in this chapter. Weird. Hope the next one comes out soon. I've been suddenly busy as well, with football practice and school starting soon, so I know how all that goes (this was the first time I've checked back here in about four days. Coincidence? I think not).
    I think it was time May deserved a chapter to herself heh. But yea, I wanted the chapter to be more focused on May and what had happened to her recently. The others will be back soon. Hm, I think you could sense a disturbance in the atmosphere and that drove you to come check the forums. =P

    Well, this is actually really realistic. From my character perception of Drew (no offense to Drew fans, I do not dislike him anyway), something like this is quite possible with him.
    Ya I know right? Kinda the player arch-type thing. I haven't really seen him in the anime at all though, so I still can't really judge him completely. (Haven't even heard his voice before.)

    I wonder what May's reaction is with when Altaďr tells her in passing about Ash . Or something.
    Somewhat confusing sentence for me, but I think I get what you mean.

    Wow, the "Girl who resembles May" is really starting to sound like May now, unless it is a different Drew, Ash, Mimey, Delia, and so on. ;p
    Oh I only wrote her name like that in the foreward 'cause I still hadn't released her name in the fic yet. But now that I have, you can just call her May. =)

    Altair is seeming much warmer then I originially thought him to be, even to a complete stranger. (Although you seemed to hint that he knew her from somewhere.)
    Yea, I'll say the same thing as I said above about his character here, as well as he's also somewhat of a reflection off of me, though I don't really do things for strangers all the time...

    Yay for the shunnung of Drew, I love to strongly dislike that guy.
    Haha somewhat of a hater I see?

    Alright I think I got it all. Anyway, Bioshock comes out today and I reserved it. Can't wait! (I know I'm a nerd shuddup.)

  3. #53
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    “I wonder… if Ash still care about me…”
    Shouldn't that be plural?

    mysterious character that resembles May
    What's the point? We know she is May anyway, or this wouldn't be Advanceshipping.

    Alright I think I got it all. Anyway, Bioshock comes out today and I reserved it. Can't wait! (I know I'm a nerd shuddup.)
    So? I reserved Diamond.

    Haha somewhat of a hater I see?
    That holds true for me.

    I'm evil, no?
    No, Contestshippers are evil. :P

  4. #54
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    Foreword

    I'm back again, with the next installment to Pokemon: Neo Genesis.

    Well this chapter continues off from the flashback from chapter seven, and continues a little bit more before going back to real time. The days might seem to be advancing really slowly but I have my reasons to write all this stuff. =) Anyway, enjoy.

    --------------------

    Chapter 8 - Detour


    A few hours had passed when the elderly woman finally returned from her trip into town. She carried several bags in her arms and set them down in the kitchen before realizing that several cabinets and drawers were open. She glanced around the room and spotted the young coordinator dozing on the couch, with a plate containing half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of her on the low coffee table. The woman smiled at how peaceful the girl looked as opposed to how she was just that morning, and began putting her groceries away.

    May snored lightly as she slumbered on but when the old woman accidentally dropped a spoon while she was preparing more soup for her, May stirred and opened her eyes.

    “Wha-What time is it?” the tired girl mumbled.

    “Oh hello dear, I’m sorry to wake you. And it’s 9:12 pm right now.”

    May bolted up from the couch when she heard that.

    “What? It’s been more than three hours since I last checked!” she ran into the room with the cot and frantically began looking for her belongings, then ran back out into the main quarters.

    “Hold on there, what’s the big rush?” the old woman looked curiously at the seemingly deranged girl.

    “I have to get to the Sinnoh region right now! I can’t explain everything now but I just need to find someone there.”

    The brunette began to run to the door until she remembered the reason why she had not left for Sinnoh earlier that day. She blushed and turned back towards the old woman.

    “Um, well, that is, if I knew how to get there…” May said sheepishly.

    The elderly woman smiled at May and walked to wear she stood by the couch.

    “Well, we’re currently in the woods east of Olivine City, which happens to be a port city. You can go there and catch a boat to Sinnoh, but not today, since you’ll never make it in time for the final 9:30 boat. I think you should just spend one more night here before you continue your journey.”

    May opened her mouth to make a retort, but she then realized that the woman was most likely correct. She also knew that it would be very difficult for her to make her way through the woods in the dark. The defeated girl closed her mouth and resigned to sitting back down on the couch.

    “But why did you want to get to Sinnoh so quickly?” the old woman questioned on.

    “It’s…” May debated whether or not she should lie or tell her the truth, but then she figured that it wouldn’t cause any harm to tell the truth. “It’s about a boy…”

    The old woman’s eyes seemed to flash when she heard that. Then she smiled and sat down next to the young girl.

    “The first boat that goes to the Sinnoh region departs at 8 am tomorrow morning, so you will probably need to wake up at 7:30 to catch it.” The woman then put a small hand on May’s shoulder. “You should do all you can to find the one you love,” she said compassionately.

    The coordinator looked at the old woman with bewilderment. “Do I really… love him?”

    “Anyway, you should probably get some rest right now. If you need to wash up, the bathroom is the door on the other side of the cabin.”

    “Thank you Miss… actually, I don’t think I know your name.”

    “Just call me Kat, that’s what everybody calls me.”

    “Ok, thank you for all your hospitality Kat. I wish I could stay longer but…”

    Kat interrupted May with a smile. “I understand. I would do the same in your position.”

    ********************

    “And so I left early the next morning, making it to the port in time to catch a boat to Canalave City. From there, I traveled to Lightcrown, looking for Ash.”

    Altaďr, who had been listening silently to the girl’s tale, nodded slowly as he contemplated on what he should say to May under the current circumstances.

    “I got here yesterday but I’ve had no luck in finding him yet. I’ve asked a couple Pokémon Centers if he’s checked any Pokémon into them, but they all don’t have any records of him.”

    “Have you tried the Pokémon Center in the very center of Lightcrown yet?”

    May looked at Altaďr strangely for a moment, before replying, “No... I haven’t had a chance to go that far into the city yet. Why did you ask that?” She looked at the tall teenager suspiciously.

    “Well, here goes nothing.”

    “I’ve been traveling with Ash for a couple days now, as well as Brock and Dawn.” Altaďr was somewhat afraid of how she would react next.

    The brunette that sat in front of him seemed to go into a momentary state of shock when she heard this. Altaďr gave a sigh of relief and figured he might as well go on.

    “So uh, yeah they stayed in the Pokémon Center I mentioned while I slept outside of the city last night. We’ll be here for a couple of days since Dawn entered the local contest that some department store is hosting. And… I sorta got dragged into doing the contest too.”

    May shook herself out of the shock and prepared herself to become flooded with emotions for the boy she supposedly loved, but they were absent. For some reason, the news that Ash was in Lightcrown City didn’t delight her as much as she had thought.

    “Ash is here… he’s really here… and I’ve found someone who knows where he is… but why don’t I feel the way I should feel?” May looked down at the table as she sorted through her thoughts and feelings.

    Seeing how May didn’t seem like she was going to speak, Altaďr continued on.

    “When I last saw them… uh… oh yeah, Dawn had dragged Ash with her to go dress shopping for the contest. I guess we were gonna meet up outside the city to continue training… not sure where though.”

    May stared into space as she tried to understand what was going on at the moment. She then looked at Altaďr and felt her face become warm. Altaďr didn’t notice however as he got up from his stool and put on his jacket and backpack.

    “If we go back to the Pokémon Center, we may run into them. You want to see them again right?”

    May’s face returned to its normal color as she was brought to reality.

    “Huh? What was that?” the coordinator said confusedly.

    “I said, if we head back to the Pokémon Center, we might run into them.” Altaďr raised an eyebrow at the spaced out girl.

    “If I go with him… I’ll see Ash again... but why do I not feel the urge to find him all of a sudden?” May then remembered what Altaďr had said earlier concerning Ash. “He’s with Dawn right now… maybe, maybe Ash doesn’t feel the same way I feel about him. After all, he did go shopping with her…”

    As May stood before the tall boy, she began to glance at his physical features. Altaďr, who had turned around and began walking towards the entrance of the ice cream parlor, was oblivious to her observing of him. The young girl stared at the older boy as he walked away from her and felt a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. When she realized what she was doing, she blushed to herself.

    “Have I… no, I couldn’t have. I just met him. He’s just kind of... cute, if not on the handsome side, that’s all.” But May’s actions were telling otherwise. “Maybe… I could just spend some more time to get to know Altaďr, before I find Ash and Brock… and Dawn.”

    Altaďr had already made it to the door of the parlor while May still stood by the table they had been seated at. Noticing that she was still not with him, he turned around and looked dumbly at the girl.

    “Um, are you coming?”

    May finally noticed that he had made it all the way to the door without her and she put on an embarrassed look as she trotted up to join him. When the two walked outside into the hot day, May decided she would try her plan.

    “Hey, Altaďr?” May said innocently.

    “Yup?” Altaďr replied with his usual impassiveness, while looking at the road ahead.

    “Um…” May hesitated for a second. “I’ve been thinking… or rather wondering…” She stopped again to think of the right words to say, but decided that it was better that she just be blunt about it. “Do you know if Ash has the same feelings for me as I do for him?”

    Altaďr didn’t turn his head towards the coordinator, but she could tell that his facial expression had change, though she couldn’t read it.

    “No.”

    May waited for him to say more but he seemed to have no intention to. Slightly annoyed as the boy that seemed so caring minutes ago was now like a rock to her, she continued talking.

    “Do you think… you could… ask him about it?” May cringed slightly as she awaited his reply.

    Altaďr remained silent a while longer as the two walked down the busy city street, but after a minute, he gave her his answer.

    “I will.”

    At first May thought she had misheard Altaďr, but when she looked up at his face, he was looking down at her with a wry smile. She gathered the courage to speak once again.

    “R-Really? You’d do that for me?” she said somewhat bewildered.

    “Yup.”

    May then decided to ask the question that had been in her mind the entire time since she had met him.

    “But… why? Why are you doing this all this? Why do you care… about me so much?”

    Altaďr halted without warning, causing May to take a couple steps ahead of him before she noticed and turned around.

    “It’s not that I care for you so much…” May felt a small stab to her heart as he said this, but Altaďr wasn’t done. “It’s because I… I can’t explain it, but I just feel like I need to help… to aid people in need... to bring happiness…”

    The pain that May felt in her chest dissolved instantaneously as she caught a glimpse of something in the boy’s right eye, but it disappeared as soon as it came. Altaďr shook his head slightly and he began to walk down the sidewalk again, with May following by his side.

    “He wants to bring happiness? What does that mean?” May peered out of the corner of her eye at the teenaged boy, and felt the same feeling in her stomach as she did back in the parlor. “I wonder…”

    “So where will we meet tomorrow once I get Ash’s… testimony?” Altaďr asked.

    May saw this question as the perfect opportunity to try something out. “How about we meet at a restaurant and you’ll tell me what he said… over some dinner?” May smiled sweetly.

    “Ok, I guess that’ll work. Got any idea which restaurant?”

    “Oh, I passed a really nice looking restaurant when I was exploring the city. It was called the Spotlight Café, and it was somewhere on the east side of the city.” May tried to make her invitation sound as casual as she could.

    And it worked, as Altaďr didn’t seem to think twice about it. “Alright, we’ll meet there tomorrow. Time?”

    “How does 6:00 sound?” May said while trying to stifle the giggles that were trying to force their way out of her mouth.

    “Sounds good, see you then I guess.” With that, Altaďr turned away from her at an intersection and began walking north.

    With Altaďr gone, May finally let out the giggles that she had been holding in.

    “Hehe, this is almost like a date! This is gonna be a lot of...” Suddenly, a realization finally hit her. She stopped giggling and put on a dismayed expression.

    “Oh no… I think I…”

    --------------------

    Altaďr ambled down the street silently as he thought to himself.

    “This is all getting too complicated. I can’t… I can’t let this distract me from my mission.”

    As he walked absentmindedly, Altaďr wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings and began to wander off the main street. He stared at the ground with his hands in his jacket pockets as he trekked north towards the edge of Lightcrown City. Before he knew it, he had wandered into a run-down section of the city.

    Altaďr looked up and saw the decrepit buildings around him. Many of the buildings were abandoned and had their windows and doors boarded up. The streets were littered with trash and glass, like there had been a riot in that part of the city. The air smelled of gasoline and rot, and the air seemed cooler, giving the place a ghostly feel. Altaďr took one last look around before he decided he should keep moving, and perhaps get out of the area, until he heard a scream.

    He quickly spun toward the direction of the high-pitched scream and ran. As he ran further, he could hear the laughs of several men in an alleyway. Preparing himself for what he may encounter, he turned into the alleyway but stopped short of where the men stood.

    There were five men that formed a semi-circle around something at the dead end of the alley. At first Altaďr couldn’t make out what or who it was, but when one of the cackling men shifted his position to the left, he could see a white beanie cap on the ground. Upon closer inspection, he could see whose head the beanie cap sat on.

    “Damn,” he mumbled to himself. “Why do I always have to play hero.”

    --------------------

    Afterthought

    Cliffhanger. =) You all can probably figure out who the victim is, but lemme just say there's gonna be some... action... in the next chapter.

    Now that I'm looking back at what I've written so far, this fic would actually pass as more of a normal non-shipping fic if I left out some things and didn't write the ship in my title. From the original fantasy in my head, I didn't really imagine any shipping or anything, but once I started reading shipping fics, that inspired me to write and so I took my original idea that i was fantasizing and added romantic elements in it... kinda. I still have yet to create any real romance scenes though. Hope that doesn't end up too badly. =P

    -CICHawk
    Last edited by cichawk; 11th July 2008 at 4:40 AM.

  5. #55
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    That was ... nicely done.
    I didn't quite expect May's reaction to be like that, but I guess it's OK really. I was expecting more excitement from her side, but you complicated emotional tangle makes it seem ok.

    Guess that May's mind is all fuzzy and distorted right now anyway.

    But Dawn here seems to be in trouble, and I wonder if this trouble is in any way associated with Altaďr's mission at Lightcrown.

    Keep it going!

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by EarthBorn View Post
    That was ... nicely done.
    I didn't quite expect May's reaction to be like that, but I guess it's OK really. I was expecting more excitement from her side, but you complicated emotional tangle makes it seem ok.

    Guess that May's mind is all fuzzy and distorted right now anyway.

    But Dawn here seems to be in trouble, and I wonder if this trouble is in any way associated with Altaďr's mission at Lightcrown.

    Keep it going!
    Yes May is going throughout a lot of emotional problems right now. Typical of a girl her age no? But of course since this is an Advanceshipping fic, we all know who the winner is gonna be... not that Altaďr is really trying to win anybody... or is he? ;-) Heh no I will not tell you what his motive for everything is, but it will turn up eventually.

    Also can't tell you about his mission. =P

    Hope you all don't mind me putting off Advanceshipping for a while. Again, (for like the fourth time) I've stated in the beginning in my fic that this piece will be a somewhat slow progression, and that there will be shippyness where there should be shippyness. And as I've stated in my afterthought, this story wasn't originally set to be shippy, but reading shipping fics has inspired me to write fics in the first place so I decided to weasel it in, and I hope I'm doing an ok job at it.

  7. #57
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    He quickly spun toward the direction of the high-pitched scream and ran. As he ran further, he could hear the laughs of several men in an alleyway. Preparing himself for what he may encounter, he turned into the alleyway but stopped short of where the men stood.

    There were five men that formed a semi-circle around something at the dead end of the alley. At first Altaďr couldn’t make out what or who it was, but when one of the cackling men shifted his position to the left, he could see a white beanie cap on the ground. Upon closer inspection, he could see whose head the beanie cap sat on.

    “Damn,” he mumbled to himself. “Why do I always have to play hero.”
    Uh-oh. I bet somebody is gonna miss his "date"... And wasn't Ash with Dawn?!?

    May sure was... Odd this chapter. Not bad, just odd...

    And what's with Altair? His RIGHT eye? ONLY? Dude, he is one mysterious guy. He certainly has mood swings, like going from helpful little guy to brick wall. Still has me biting my nails...

    Like I hinted earlier, I am worried about Ash's current condition. He WAS with Dawn, who seems to be getting mugged. Did he leave her? Or did they already finish with him...?

    EVIL cliffhanger, you are WAY too good at those.

    I will lap up anything else you put out...

  8. #58
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    Sorry for being late, couldn't get on SPPf yesterday.

    This is gonna be a lot of.”
    Um, what's that supposed to say?

    I can’t… I can’t let this distract me from my mission.”
    Maybe he is a Pokemon Ranger?!

    not that Altaďr is really trying to win anybody
    Yeah, I kind of feel bad for him.

  9. #59
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    Alright, next chapter done, but let me use this space to reply to some things.

    Uh-oh. I bet somebody is gonna miss his "date"... And wasn't Ash with Dawn?!?
    The "date" is tomorrow. Things will be explained this chapter.

    May sure was... Odd this chapter. Not bad, just odd...
    She's just going through the motions.

    And what's with Altair? His RIGHT eye? ONLY? Dude, he is one mysterious guy. He certainly has mood swings, like going from helpful little guy to brick wall. Still has me biting my nails...
    Well I originally meant that part to make it seem like May was to his right and she could only see his right eye, but then I read back and she had already walked in front of him and turned around, thus she could see both her eyes. Oh well, people can get something in just one eye can't they?

    Anyway, he's just full of mysteries no?

    Like I hinted earlier, I am worried about Ash's current condition. He WAS with Dawn, who seems to be getting mugged. Did he leave her? Or did they already finish with him...?
    Read the next chapter now. =) (Or when I put it up after this.)

    EVIL cliffhanger, you are WAY too good at those.
    Mm I didn't mean it to be that evil, I just felt like that would be a good place to stop.

    Um, what's that supposed to say?
    Woops, supposed to have ... at the end. Added it.

    Maybe he is a Pokemon Ranger?!
    Maybe, maybe not. =)

    Yeah, I kind of feel bad for him.
    He's just a busy man, not enough time for him for girls. =P

    Alright, time to put chapter 9 out. It'll take however long I take to add italics and however long the forums will take to respond. (Been kinda slow.)

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    Man, I'm so tired. Cross country takes quite a bit out of me. Practices have been going on for a while but I finally decided to drive down (with my shiny new license) on Tuesday and today for practices, and lemme tell you they're not easy for me. For me, my athletic ability in running are totally polar. I'm like, top hurdler on the track team from grades 9-11, but the worse cross country-er... ever, since I've been last to finish my work outs and runs. Oh well, can't be best at everything now can I.

    But really, I'm quite tired. I was trying to begin reading 1984 for my summer reading (school starts next Tuesday and I still have 3 books including 1984 to go.) but after about 10 pages I literally fell asleep and my mom woke me. Went to brush my teeth and came back to do my business here. After this, if I'm not too tired, I'm gonna watch the third Pokemon movie since I just finished the third season. (Which was boring as hell, too many filler episodes.) Anyway, enough about my boring personal life.

    Note: Made some slight changes to the text thanks to swampert55 for catching some inconsistencies.

    -----------------

    Foreword

    Alright, here's the next chap. Continues from that evil cliffhanger I left you guys on in chapter 8. Not as much action toward the end of the chapter, but a lot of insight on the characters there.

    Enjoy.

    ------------------

    Chapter 9 - Cerberus

    “’Ey girl, we don’t wanna ‘urt you, we just wanna 'ave some fun, so why don’tcha just quit strugglin’,” said a large burly man with a sinister grin.

    Dawn whimpered as she lay frightened on her side on the ground. Her clothes were soiled from being thrown around by the thugs and she had several scrapes and bruises on her face and limbs, if not on the rest of her body as well.

    “L-L-Leave me alone! I have Pokémon that can take care of you guys!” Dawn threatened with the last bit of courage she had as she attempted to stand up, but failing.

    The five men guffawed loudly again and each pulled out a Pokéball.

    “’Ets see ‘ow your Pok’mon stand up to us fives’,” laughed the burly man.

    The five thugs released their Pokémon, revealing a purple slime Pokémon, a black dog Pokémon with a red underbelly and snout, a purple ghost Pokémon with eyes the shape of diamonds, a black crow-like Pokemon with red eyes, and finally, a menacing looking Pokémon that resembled a blue lion with long black fur that covered most of his body, with a four-pointed star on his tail.

    “Let’s see you try and fight us off,” sneered another man, who was skinny in comparison with the other man and wore a black doo-rag on his head.

    The Pokémon began to approach the terrified coordinator when a voice spoke out.

    “Oh yes, that really shows how strong you guys really are, quintuple-teaming a girl,” said a deep voice from behind the five thugs with a slight mocking tone.

    The thugs whirled around to see Altaďr standing at the end of the alley, with a deadly look on his face. Dawn gasped and gave both a look of shock and glee as her savior had just arrived.

    “You know who you’s dealing with here?” sneered a shirtless man covered from waist to neck with tattoos.

    “Mm, nope.” The teenaged boy’s satirical answer made the tattooed man steam.

    “You lil’ b*stard! You’s dealing with members of the King’s Men! The biggest and mos’ powerful gang here in Lightcrown!” the man spat.

    Altaďr’s eyes widened slightly when he heard this, but not in surprise. He contemplated on what he should do next until the tattooed thug ordered his Pokémon to attack.

    “Luxray! Give ‘em a spark!”

    Luxray gave a mighty roar and began to charge Altaďr at full speed, but Altaďr was ready. He quickly jumped back to create some more space between him and the charging Pokémon while he hit the button of his teal Pokéball, releasing his own Pokémon.

    Glaceon materialized out of the white light and immediately sprung into action, effectively countering the attack by ducking down and headbutting Luxray from his underbelly as he began to pass over Glaceon. The electricity around Luxray dissipated when the Glaceon’s attack connected.

    The Gleam-Eyes Pokémon gave a cry of pain as he somersaulted in the air once before landing on his side.

    “Luxray, don’t let that punk show you up! Thunder Fang!”

    The Pokémon stood up and electricity began to gather at Luxray’s fangs as he built up power for the attack. But before he could take one step, Glaceon had aimed his cap endings at Luxray’s direction and he fired two large Ice Beams from each ending. In a split second, everything in the alley, except Dawn, was frozen solid.

    Dawn, hearing the battle around her go quiet, uncovered her eyes with her dirty hands and saw a tall figure stand over her with an arm outstretched. She smiled and grabbed it, pulling herself up from the ground. Dawn stared into the trainer’s eyes passionately while still holding the hand she had used to pull herself up. Altaďr broke her gaze and examined the wounds on her body. Without saying a word, he let go of her hand and motioned for her to follow him.

    --------------------

    Altaďr led Dawn to a fountain at the center of a city square and began rummaging through his backpack. He soon brought out a first-aid kit and a small piece of clothe, and dampened it in the fountain. Still without saying a single word, he brought the clothe up to where there were scrapes on the girls knees and he began to clean them off. The young coordinator expected to feel stinging at the place where the clothe made contact with her scrapes, but surprisingly, there was none. She could only feel the soft clothe rubbing against her wounds. After he had finished on her knees, Altaďr worked his way up and eventually reached her face. Still being delicate, he stroked the piece of clothe against the cut on her forehead and washed the blood off in the fountain. Finished with the cleaning, he opened the first-aid kit and pulled out some bandages and band-aids as well as a small unlabeled bottle.

    “This may burn a little,” Altaďr saying his first words to Dawn since they last saw each other.

    The coordinator nodded and braced herself for the pain that was imminent.

    Altaďr opened the unlabeled bottle and stuck his pinky finger inside, taking out a small amount of what looked to be green-colored goo. He slowly went down to Dawn’s knees, being careful not to look up in case she suspected him of foul play, and rubbed the green goo on her wounds.

    Dawn took a sharp intake of breathe as she felt a burning sensation stronger than she had anticipated at the spot where Altaďr applied the goo.

    “Relax, it may burn more than other remedies, like alcohol, but it’ll help you out in no time. This medication was created by Leafeon for minor cuts and scrapes and it speeds up your healing in a way where there’s also no scarring. Everything should heal in a day, in time for the contest, so you don’t have to worry about showing up with a bunch of bandages all over you.”

    Dawn let the air she was holding in while he was applying the medication out so she could relax like he had told her to.

    “He’s so thoughtful, thinking about how I would look at the contest with all these wounds… I guess I have to thank Leafeon sometime as well for this wonderful medicine.”

    Altaďr had applied Leafeon’s medicine to where there were wounds on Dawn’s legs and he began to bandage them up tightly, but not to the point where blood flow would stop. When he finished, he began to work up and once again, and eventually got to her face again as well. The cut on her forehead wasn’t very deep, but it would still leave a mark for a week or two without the medication, so he reached for the bottle and fingered out some more of the green goo. Dawn, knowing that the burning sensation would now be in her head, braced herself more readily, but not before getting a mischievous idea in her head. As Altaďr leaned in to get a better view of her forehead, Dawn leaned in as well and her lips made contact with Altaďr’s. Before Altaďr could react in any other way besides widening his eyes, the blue-haired girl had already pulled away, and looked at him as nothing had happen, besides blushing. Altaďr, who usually always had a cool composure and never showed any sign of embarrassment to the group before, tinted a very slight red, before shaking his head vigorously and returning to his first-aid work.

    “Tee hee, he’s such a guy.”

    --------------------

    “I wonder where Dawn and Altaďr are,” pondered Ash aloud. He was standing beside Brock in an open field with tall hedgerows around it, as was the same with the rest of the area to the north of Lightcrown. Pikachu sat on his usual roost of Ash’s shoulder.

    “Maybe they just can’t find us with all these tall hedges around. There are quite a lot of these things around here. Guess that’s why this place was a recommended training spot since the hedges provide privacy,” rationalized Brock. A thought suddenly hit him and he turned towards the trainer next to him with eyebrows raised.

    “Wasn’t Dawn with you?”

    “Oh, yeah, after we went shopping, Dawn said she wanted to explore more of the city, but I said I had to… run some errands, so we split.” Ash gave Brock a sheepish look.

    “More like, you ditched Dawn, eh Ash?” Brock nudged the trainer playfully. “What’s wrong Ash, I think she has a little crush on you.”

    “Well, maybe I don’t want her to!” Ash said rather loudly, turning heads of a couple of passersby. They looked at him weirdly and walked on as Ash blushed and pulled Brock to a more secluded area.

    “What’s holding you back then?” Brock questioned, knowing full well what the answer was even if Ash didn’t tell him.

    The flustered trainer began sputtering unintelligible words while Brock smirked. Pikachu merely chortled at his trainer’s plight.

    Before Ash could make a bigger fool of himself or spill anything that Brock didn’t already know, a voice shouted out at them.

    “Ash! Brock!”

    The two males and Pokémon spun around and saw Dawn, who was now bandaged in many places, walking with Altaďr on the path that led to their hedgerowed sector.

    Ash, Brock, and Pikachu saw the bandages and band-aids and swiftly ran up to the new arrivals. Questions began to pour out of their mouths.

    “What happened to you?”

    “Are you hurt bad?”

    “Pika, pikachu?”

    “Where did you find her, Altaďr?”

    “Do you need something to eat or anything?”

    Dawn held up her hands to silence the interrogators.

    “How about we sit down first? I’m a bit tired now.” suggested Dawn with a smile.

    Everyone agreed and they all took a seat at the portable table Brock had set up. Starting from where she and Ash split up, she told her story. After Ash had left, she carried her shopping bag with her dress back to the Pokémon Center and set out to explore the city some. After exploring some more shopping districts in the city, Dawn checked her Pokétch and saw the time was around 4:30, so she decided to call Brock with her PokéNav that she, Ash, and Brock had picked up on their adventures in the Sinnoh region, in case they lost touch with each other. Brock told her to meet him in the fields to the north of Lightcrown, so she quickly made her way up. However, being the poor navigator that she was, she accidentally stumbled into the abandoned sector of the city and was soon confronted by the five thugs Altaďr took care of. They asked her if she’d like to come to their club and she immediately ran. The five thugs chased her and cornered her in the alley and physically tormented her. However, after several minutes of the pushing and hitting, Altaďr showed up and rescued her. Dawn then told Ash and Brock about how he took her to the fountain and tended to her wounds, but left out the part where she kissed him.

    “So after he finished, we quickly made our way here, avoiding that terrible part of the city of course.”

    Ash and Brock sat stunned as the coordinator concluded her tale. Altaďr however, stared directly at Ash, and clenched his fists.

    “So you abandoned her?” he asked Ash calmly.

    “What?” Ash looked at the glowering teenager confusedly

    “You left her alone in a big city to go do some… errands?” Altaďr said with more intensity while spat out the last word with force.

    “Whoa wait, I didn’t-.”

    “Do you know what kind of people live in a big metropolis like this?” Altaďr began to raise his voice.

    This began to unnerve the four other occupants, as they had never heard Altaďr raise his voice in anger before in the short amount of time they had known him, even during the times when Ash picked arguments with him.

    “But-.”

    “Save it, just be more careful next time.” Altaďr seemed to calm down right after he said that, and he seemed to be his normal, quiet self again.

    Ash however, looked down at the table dejectedly. “He’s right, just because I wanted to create some space between me and Dawn, doesn’t mean I can just abandon her like this, especially when there’s so many unknown things in the city.” Pikachu looked at his trainer sadly with drooped ears, as he knew how Ash must have felt after Altaďr’s revelation.

    Dawn looked at Altaďr, who was on her right, then at Ash, who was on her left, then back to Altaďr.

    “Altaďr… he’s actually angry at Ash for leaving me… does that mean he...?” Dawn was unable to finish her unspoken sentence as Brock decided it was time to break the tension.

    “So…” Brock said rather loudly to get everyone’s attention. “-how about we have a small snack and you two get to some more contest training?”

    The coordinator studied Altaďr and Ash one more time before letting the topic in her head go.

    “Sure, that sounds great!” Dawn cheerfully agreed.

    Altaďr however, got up from his seat and began to walk toward the entrance to the practice area through the hedgerows.

    “Uh, where are you going?” Brock asked skeptically.

    “To train… alone. Why do you think I camped out alone last night?” Altaďr said while still walking away.

    The others looked at him with questioning eyes. Altaďr sensed that they couldn’t think of the answer by themselves so he shrugged and turned around. He looked directly at Dawn as he stopped walking.

    “Can’t let you know all of my contest strategies, can I Dawn? Who knows, we may go up against each other during the contest.”

    The last statement struck Dawn particularly hard as her mouth fell slightly agape. She had thought that of the probability of having to face Altaďr in a battle several times before, but hearing that come out of his mouth seemed to subdue her spirit momentarily. She knew that no matter what kind of battle, normal or contest, she could not defeat someone like Altaďr.

    Altaďr turned back towards the direction he was walking in and exited the scene. Dawn shivered slightly as she replayed his words in her mind.

    “But why am I afraid of a sudden?” she asked herself. “The reason why I asked him to enter the contest is so there would be a better chance to win the prize… but now I’m afraid of facing him and losing, even though he could probably make it all the rest of the way and win…”

    The anxious coordinator looked over the table at Ash, who was now enjoying some rice balls Brock pulled out of his bag.

    “Maybe I just don’t want to seem… weak… to either of them.”

    --------------------

    The idea of facing Altaďr in battle disturbed Dawn, but it did not take her focus off her training. If she was to stand a chance at the possibility she would face him, she would have to rely on her contest battling skills rather than the skills used in traditional battling. And if they both made it to the finals, which Altaďr most likely would in her mind, they would have to face off anyway.

    “It’s funny… how I’m not really believing that I can make it all the way to the finals… after making a big scene about the contest and prizes that day… Have I lost my confidence, because of a battle that I wasn’t even in?”

    Ash, though not an experienced coordinator, offered to help Dawn and give her suggestions, as he had watched and mentored a certain someone in the past who had been quite successful in her own coordinating career. But his shouts of encouragement and suggestions were drowned out by Dawn’s own thoughts once again.

    “I need to believe in myself more… that I can make it to the finals… that I will eventually have to face Altaďr, and that I will somehow prevail against him.” She paused her thoughts to give her Pokémon another order. “If I told Ash how I was feeling right now, he would say the exact same thing to me.”

    Being as dense as he can be sometimes, Ash did not notice how Dawn didn’t seem to be hearing him at all, so he kept shouting from the sidelines as Dawn performed her appeals over and over again. Pikachu however, noticed that Dawn was completely oblivious to the outside world and completely absorbed in her training. The Pokémon sighed as he listened to his trainer yell more unheard words at the coordinator.

    “Yeah! That was a great move, Dawn! You’re sure to impress the judges with that.” Ash said with encouragement.

    But under the cheerful exterior, Ash still felt guilty about leaving Dawn alone in the city and he constantly degraded himself in his mind for doing that. Being Ash’s first and closest Pokémon, Pikachu could feel his feelings of depression and self-anger as well.

    After a long training session, Dawn’s Pokétch showed that the time was 7:28, so she decided it was time for her and her Pokémon to take a break and have dinner. Brock, who was on top of things, had already begun to prepare dinner, which would consist of foot-long sub sandwiches.

    “Just tell me what you guys want on it, and you’ll have it!” Brock said jovially.

    “Mm, whatever Ash is having I’ll have.” Dawn was still focused on her training and thinking of ways to improve her appeals even when training was done for the time being.

    “Eh, just make me anything,” Ash said dejectedly, as he still felt guilty about the events that occurred earlier that day.

    Brock just looked at his two younger companions strangely and wondered what their deal was, as it was always strange for Ash to be indifferent about food and Dawn seem to be completely out of it.

    Dinner was eaten in silence, and Dawn was back to training soon after. Altaďr had not joined them for dinner, which was not all that surprising due to his slight animosity to stay with the group ever since the first night in Lightcrown.

    As the sun set and things began to turn dark, the threesome decided it was time to head back to the Pokémon Center. Dawn had practice battles with Ash that evening, and now the trainers and their Pokémon were all quite exhausted. Making their way back to the Pokémon Center located in the center of Lightcrown, they chatted about the events that day and Ash apologized over and over for his screw up to Dawn.

    “Oh, hehe, it’s all right Ash, at least Altaďr was there to save me,” Dawn said with an emphasis on Altaďr’s name.

    Her attempt to play at Ash failed as he merely grunted and apologized again, and said how he should have still been there for her. Dawn sighed and decided she wasn’t going to get Ash to say or do anything interesting tonight.

    They returned to their rooms in the hotel-like Pokémon Center and crashed on their bunks. Dawn quickly took the bathroom first and prepared for a good nights sleep after waking up early in the morning. Ash and Brock decided they would take their showers in the morning, as Dawn would most likely take a good amount of time in the bathroom, so they dozed off to sleep first. Pikachu once again claimed the empty bunk above Dawn’s bed and got cozy with the sheets there. It was to be a peaceful night, for them at least.

    -------------------

    Afterthought

    So it may seem like I'm shafting Ash and Brock a little bit, in more favor of Altaďr, but I'll just say that he's really the central character for this part of the saga. Eventually, he will be absent for a while and the spotlight will be back on our original heroes. I'm taking a longer than I expected to write this part though.

    As I write the chapters with Ash in them, I tend to forget one important aspect that follows him around: Pikachu. So I always have to go back through the chapter and give Pikachu some lines depending on the situation and have him visible somewhere in the text. I'm not sure how good a job I am at doing it, but if you guys are noticing that Pikachu just sort of pops in and out here and there, please tell me. That's something I probably need to work on then to improve the coherence of my story.

    Another thing, I planned to to chapter title explanations at the afterthoughts of each chapter a while ago, but I just kind of forgot, so I'll just compose a list right here.

    Chapter 1 - Newcomer - Well, kind of self explanatory. Ash, Brock, and Dawn have a newcomer in their lives.

    Chapter 2 - Friend or Foe or Rival - Confusing around Altaďr's diplomatic stance with the gang.

    Chapter 3 - Dogfight - Well, I didn't want to just right 'Fight' or 'Battle', so I just kind of came up with this cheesy line.

    Chapter 4 - History Maker - Title derived from the song "History Maker" by Delirious, a Christian band. Chapter explains Altaďr's history.

    Chapter 5 - Dare - Somewhat derived from the song "Dare" by Gorillaz. Didn't really mean to do that but I noticed it after a while. Dawn's challenge (or rather begging) that Altaďr competes in the contest was kind of a dare in my mind.

    Chapter 6 - Training Wheels - Well, better to say that then just 'Training', no?

    Chapter 7 - Gifts and Curses - Derived from the song "Gifts and Curses" by Yellowcard. (my favorite band.) Kind of an abstract title here. I guess May's just had her share of gifts but then turn out to be curses.

    Chapter 8 - Detour - Well, couple of people made detours here, and not just physically.

    Chapter 9 - Cerberus - Was really having trouble with this title, but I did some thesaurus work and found that this title fit really nicely. Cerberus was that three-headed dog that guards the gate to hell, am I right? Well Altaďr was kind of like a guardian or whatever in this chapter, and also, some of you note that he has several personalities kind of, so that's kind of symbolized by a three headed dog.

    Well, I hope you all found that somewhat intriguing. Sure woke me up a little bit. Time to watch the third movie.

    -CICHawk
    Last edited by cichawk; 31st August 2007 at 6:25 PM.

  11. #61
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    Another good chapter from you. I'm thinking that Altaďr's mission has something to do with the King's Men, no? Hm... yeah, that did give a lot of insight to how the characters are developing.

    I'm tired too, from school and football, so I know how the not-having-energy-thing goes. Hopefully it won't slow down your writing too much... Good luck, fine sir *salutes*

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    long black fur that covered most of his boy,
    BODY, perhaps?

    “Wasn’t Dawn with you?”
    Yay! My question!

    but now I’m afraid of facing him and loosing, even though he could probably


    Losing has only got one "o".

    “If I told Ash how I was feeling right now, he would same the exact same thing to me.”


    Perhaps, he would SAY... not SAME.

    Heh, this one seemed like a bit of filler, except for what seemed to be a hint on the King's Men. That was the name of Shakespeare's acting group, wasn't it?

    May has once again failed to find them, despite meeting Altair earlier that day. She must have Dawn's sense of direction.

    Some nice Dawn x Altair stuff there, which I now christen "BirdyShipping"! (Because Dawn has a Piplup, and you're named after a hawk.)

    I do feel bad for Ash, it's never fun to feel like that. Hope he finds comfort, and the reason he doesn't want Dawn crushing on him, soon.

    Next...Chap...soon... *Drools, then falls asleep after finally finishing Biology homework*
    Last edited by Lord Zant; 31st August 2007 at 7:31 AM.

  13. #63
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    So, interesting character development you've got there. I'm really starting to get used to Altaďr's personality and it's interesting - him (currently) being the only one who knows that May's in the city.
    From what I've seen of DP till now, Dawn share's Ash's determination and indomitable spirit - something that you've (kinda) managed to work around with after her growing emotional tangle.

    So, I expect that we'll be seeing May soon, if you're not twisting the story around a more curvy path anymore .

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    Another good chapter from you. I'm thinking that Altaďr's mission has something to do with the King's Men, no? Hm... yeah, that did give a lot of insight to how the characters are developing.
    There is something tied with the King's men and Altaďr, but of course, with me being the writer, there's something bigger going on.

    Glad to see I did an ok job with the characters.

    I'm tired too, from school and football, so I know how the not-having-energy-thing goes. Hopefully it won't slow down your writing too much... Good luck, fine sir *salutes*
    Heh,my school hasn't even started yet... Hope I can manage to keep on writing even after that starts.

    Semper fi. *Salute*

    Heh, this one seemed like a bit of filler, except for what seemed to be a hint on the King's Men. That was the name of Shakespeare's acting group, wasn't it?
    Perhaps all that character insight stuff was a big filler-ish, but I couldn't just have them practice, eat dinner, then go to sleep. Yeah, I think his acting group was called that, or something like that. (Which I should know, I just studied Shakespeare last year...)

    May has once again failed to find them, despite meeting Altair earlier that day. She must have Dawn's sense of direction.
    If you remember from chapter 8, she doesn't want to find Ash and the gang right now.

    Some nice Dawn x Altair stuff there, which I now christen "BirdyShipping"! (Because Dawn has a Piplup, and you're named after a hawk.)
    Yes I did notice that what happened here kind of ships them together. Who knows what will happen between the two in the future, and what of Dawn x Ash's relationship. (Also Altaďr mean's 'the flyer' in greek.)

    I do feel bad for Ash, it's never fun to feel like that. Hope he finds comfort, and the reason he doesn't want Dawn crushing on him, soon.
    I just thought it would be typical of him to feel like that, as he's one of those types. (Dunno how to explain it.)

    And I think he knows why, it's just that he sometimes has problems saying things. =P Or maybe he just vaguely knows why.

    So, interesting character development you've got there. I'm really starting to get used to Altaďr's personality and it's interesting - him (currently) being the only one who knows that May's in the city.
    From what I've seen of DP till now, Dawn share's Ash's determination and indomitable spirit - something that you've (kinda) managed to work around with after her growing emotional tangle.
    Well, sometimes even Ash's spirit goes in the mud, especially after a big defeat at a league or something. Oh don't think that Ash forgot so easily about his little loss against Altaďr. We haven't dug into his mind yet have we?

    So, I expect that we'll be seeing May soon, if you're not twisting the story around a more curvy path anymore .
    Oh believe me, there will be some pretty big twists later. But as of now, the contest is looming closer, and a couple of things will happen between now and then.

  15. #65
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    Why am I always last?

    In a split second, everything in the alley, except Dawn, was frozen solid.
    I thought Slugma/Magcargo couldn't be frozen because of Flame Body?

    Ash looked at the glowering teenager puzzedly
    I don't think that's a word.

    turning heads of other people in the vicinity in his direction
    From your description of the area, it seems unlikely that there would be other people.

  16. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by swampert55 View Post
    I thought Slugma/Magcargo couldn't be frozen because of Flame Body?

    I don't think that's a word.

    From your description of the area, it seems unlikely that there would be other people.
    Damn, you caught some pretty big mistakes on my part! I'll have to find a way to fix them without changing too much...

  17. #67
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    Reporting in.

    So it's been a week, and a tough one too. School started on Tuesday so I haven't been able to stay up until say, 3 AM, to write or anything. And cross country has been killer, for me at least, because I have barely a shred of stamina. (I'm a sprinter.) So when I get home on the days I went to practice, I usually found myself falling asleep after I eat for quite a long time. By the time I wake up I have to scurry to finish up my homework. (Which isn't so light anymore because of AP History. At least my other classes don't have homework, yet.)

    Also, a day or two ago my laptop, which is my writing workstation, got a whole mess of spyware and a couple viruses. Not very severe stuff, but they caused massive slowdowns on my laptop, making it near impossible to access my files. Scanning my laptop with antivirus stuff right now and hopefully it'll be up and running soon.

    So Chapter 10 as of now is barely done, probably less than half done. I apologize for the delay and as soon as my laptop is up and running again I'll get to working on it tonight.

    So that's just kind of my update to tell you all I'm still around and stuff.
    Last edited by cichawk; 8th September 2007 at 4:27 PM.

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    I haven't been here for a while, so I'm going to make a general review.

    I can't believe Ash just left Dawn, like that, poor girl ran in to some thugs, but Altair came to save the day! Hah, I really am starting to like AltairXDawn but I'm not so hot on May and Altair.

    These chapters amazingly good except for May's part. I liked the story that led her to finding Ash, but wasn't she in love with Ash? Seems pretty strange that she'd change her crushes so easily.

    So yeah, that was the only bad part.

    And hang in there cichawk, don't let school defeat you! XD
    ~*Uza-chan's Good bye*~

    IS SUPAH FIIIINE

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    Quote Originally Posted by Uzamaki Hinata View Post
    I haven't been here for a while, so I'm going to make a general review.

    I can't believe Ash just left Dawn, like that, poor girl ran in to some thugs, but Altair came to save the day! Hah, I really am starting to like AltairXDawn but I'm not so hot on May and Altair.
    Heh, I guess Ash was just feeling a bit, invaded.

    Hm, I'm still thinking whether or not I want to pair Altaďr with anyone. Originally I didn't want to but it seems that some people already have some thoughts about it. Hm, reader service for me?

    These chapters amazingly good except for May's part. I liked the story that led her to finding Ash, but wasn't she in love with Ash? Seems pretty strange that she'd change her crushes so easily.

    So yeah, that was the only bad part.
    Why thank you for the praise. And in my own personal experience, a girl can go from saying "I love you" to saying "I think I like someone else" in less than a day...

    And hang in there cichawk, don't let school defeat you! XD
    Well that, and me just having to reformat my whole laptop. I could write here on my PC though.

    I think I'll get to writing tonight.

  20. #70
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    I'm not dead.

    Sorry it's been... many many weeks. As you all could probably have guessed, school started way back when and I've been working like no other since then. My AP History class has been murdering me and my other classes aren't that much better off. The work isn't hard per se, rather it just takes forever to complete. Also, many other things have caught my interest which has made lose motivation in writing for the time being, such as band business, Halo 3, and uh, *cough* you can guess what the last is. Don't worry though, I will continue this fic... sometime in the future, when I'm not as busy and I have time. I really do miss writing it and I'm sorry for leaving you all hanging there.

    -CICHawk

    P.S. Sorry if anybody got their hopes up by seeing that there was a new post.

    P.S.S. pikashipper4eva, I saw your post in the Advanceshipping thread by running a quick search of my username in the forums. Heh, it's cool that you read and like my fic, it's just too bad you can't make any reviews on it. =\

  21. #71
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    Chapter 10 is here... finally. For reasons of my unexpected (though probably expected anyway) absence, read the post before. If I miss any PM's, I apologize, since I lost my list after I reformatted my laptop. Good thing I backed up my chapter archives on a network drive before reformatting though.

    -------------------

    Foreword

    Alright, finally. Again, sorry for the absence, but now I think I'm going to slowly work myself back into action. But anyway, I'm assuming most if not all of my usual readers are quite busy with school and whatnot, so I'm not really expecting much feedback anymore, but I still do enjoy writing. As I said to a certain someone here on the forums once, as long as one person reads and likes your fic, it's worth continuing. (Or did I say something else? I think it's along those lines.)

    --------------------

    Chapter 10 - Questions


    “Well, this has been an interesting night so far.”


    The dark figure of Altaďr ambled through the brightly lit streets of Downtown Lightcrown. It was very early in the morning, earlier than anyone would wake up to go to work for, but there were still people on the streets that were enjoying the nightlife. The young trainer made sure to avoid any police officers in case they suspected that he was a minor out on the streets past the curfew that was set for his age group. Reaching his next destination, Altaďr straightened out his fleece jacket and put on a black beanie with the letters “PDI” on the front before walking into the bar that stood before him.

    “Looks like I won’t be getting any sleep for a while.”

    --------------------

    Dawn woke up early once again to get a head start on training, but this time Ash had set up his own alarm to make sure he woke up when she did. He didn’t want anything to happen to her today, especially since it was the day before the big contest. His alarm would be Pikachu, as Ash promised him a large quantity of ketchup if he did the job. Pikachu did, and so Ash woke up with a jolt that morning

    “Gee, thanks Pikachu, but you didn’t have to shock me so hard.” Ash rubbed his head and could smell that his clothes were burnt. He walked up to the bathroom door and knocked it.

    “I could use that bathroom sometime in the next century Dawn,” the trainer said with slightly annoyed tone.

    “I’ll be right out!” called the Dawn’s voice from within.

    “Yeah, that’s what you said ten minutes ago.” Ash gave up on waiting by the door and just sat on his bed instead. Brock was still snoring loudly on the top bunk as he had no intention on waking up as early as the other two. Pikachu had decided to catch up on what little sleep he had gotten that night after being recruited as Ash’s alarm clock. Ash sighed and lay on the bed, replaying Altaďr’s words from the day before in his head.

    “I really do need to be more responsible for the people that I promise to mentor and keep safe. Dawn’s mother trusted me to make sure nothing bad happens to her… but I’ve failed and let her get hurt by a bunch of thugs.”

    At the thought of Dawn’s mother entrusting him with taking care of her daughter, his thoughts wandered to another mother, and father, who also trusted him to take care of their daughter, who was not with him today.

    “May…”


    Saying the coordinator’s name in his head sent a wave of feelings that Ash couldn’t comprehend. His stomach had a tingly feeling to it and his chest felt heavy. Emotions ran through his mind but he couldn’t understand what kind of feelings they were.

    “What is this? Why do I feel this way whenever I think of May, or even just say her name?

    The trainer then thought of the conversation between him and Brock the day before. Brock had mentioned that Dawn may have a crush on him, but Ash didn’t really believe the breeder’s words. However, this morning, Ash began to recall the events that have happened these past few days, and indeed Dawn had been acting a bit more strangely than usual. Sure she always seemed to be hovering around him quite often, even before they met Altaďr, but after the new trainer’s arrival, she had been even weirder than normal.

    “Could she really…?” Ash pulled his hair and gave a moan as the complicated subject was too much for him. “But then… what’s holding me back, like Brock said?”

    Ash then remembered the conversation he had two days ago with Brock, about May. He remembered having the same feeling as he did now when he began to mention her, but he did a pretty good job of covering his feelings until the very end, when he began to blush.

    However, his thinking was interrupted as Dawn came out of the bathroom, dressed and ready for training. Ash stood up from the bed and made his way through the bathroom door, ready to take off the burning odor that was clinging to him

    “A... A shower is what I need.”

    --------------------

    Half an hour later, Ash, Dawn, and Pikachu were once again ready to hit the road to the training fields to the north of Lightcrown City. Dawn was pumped for another hard day of training as she needed as much as she could get to make up for lost time. Ash and Pikachu were just tired. As they were about to exit the Pokémon Center, the automatic doors in front of them slid open, letting the trainer known as Altaďr in.

    “Oh, g’mornin’,” the tall trainer greeted.

    “Morning, where have you been?” Ash asked with a hint of suspicion.

    “Just out and about.” Altaďr walked into the Pokémon Center at that. It was then that Dawn finally noticed something different about him.

    “Hey, Altaďr, nice hat! Where’d you get it from?” Dawn sent a friendly smile in the teenaged boy’s direction but he made no effort to turn around and receive it.

    “Oh this? I’ve had it for a while now. Anyway, I’m tired, mind if I crash in your room?” Altaďr said while still walking away.

    “Er, sure. It’s room 17.” Ash responded.

    With that, Altaďr gave a lazy wave and turned the corner towards the dormitories.

    “That was… kinda weird.” Dawn grumbled, as she was somewhat disappointed Altaďr didn’t bother to look at her.

    Ash merely shrugged. “Yeah, wonder what’s got him so tired.”

    “Pika…”

    --------------------

    This morning, Dawn decided that she would focus on contest battling, as her appeals were down pretty solid, so Ash agreed to help out with his own Pokémon.

    “Alright, let’s not get too worked up, after all, your Pokémon will need their strength for tomorrow,” Ash shouted across the field.

    “Right, let’s go!” Dawn grabbed a Pokéball and threw it into the center of the field. “Piplup! I choose you!”

    “Aipom! Go!”


    The two Pokéballs opened with a flash of light as out of Dawn’s Pokéball appeared her blue penguin Pokémon, Piplup. Out of Ash’s Pokéball, a purple monkey Pokémon with a toothy grin and large round eyes materialized, ready for battle. The most noticeable trait on the monkey Pokémon was her tail; it had a three fingered hand-like appendage on the end, which was the source of many of the Pokémon’s attacks.

    “Ai-Ai!” cried Aipom.

    “Alright Aipom, let’s start this battle off with a Swift attack! And give it some flair!”

    Aipom, who enjoyed contest battles very much and had been in several contests before, had no problem pulling off a stylish Swift attack from her tail that spiraled towards Dawn’s Piplup on the other end of the field.

    “Piplup, counter with Bubblebeam, and follow up with Peck attack!”

    Hearing the command, Piplup let loose a wave of sparkling bubbles from his beak that charged into the incoming stars. The two attacks collided and nullified one another, giving Piplup the time to charge in through the smoke for a Peck attack.

    “Watch out Aipom, dodge it by using your tail!”

    Aipom immediately comprehended the order and launched herself into the air by using her tail as a spring. Piplup halted his attack as he watched the Long Tail Pokémon soar into the sky.

    “Now’s your chance, hit him with a Focus Punch!”

    Aipom gave a cry of exertion while she balled her tail into a glowing, white fist, and made her descent to meet Piplup on the ground. Piplup seemed to freeze in place as the opposing Pokémon neared her.

    “Don’t just stand there Piplup! Fire a Bubblebeam while Aipom is still in the air!”

    “Pip…” The Penguin Pokémon puffed up his chest to ready the attack. “Luplupluplup!” Piplup then let out a stream of bubbles less sparkly but more powerful than the last as power was more important in this situation.

    The bubbles made contact with Aipom’s tail, generating an explosion of energy between the two attacks.
    The bright explosion blinded the trainer and the coordinator so they would have to wait for the dust to settle to see who the victor would be.

    --------------------

    “Ahhhhhhhhh!” yawned a certain breeder as he sat up and stretched his limbs. Brock looked over at the analog clock that hung before the door and rubbed his eyes. He the blinked several times, if it even is possible to see him blink, and stared at the clock once again.

    “Yahhh! It’s less than ten minutes from noon, and I need to cook for Ash and Dawn and their Pokémon!”

    Not noticing the second human presence in the room, Brock leapt off the top bunk, slamming his head on the ceiling, and sprinted into the bathroom to freshen up. The other person in the room stirred and groggily sat up and looked around the room.

    “Ugh… somebody’s noisy…”

    Altaďr threw off his covers and grabbed his belongings, and strode out of the room. Right as he shut the door, Brock came running back into the bedroom began packing his belongings and supplies, too.

    “Let’s see, rice, check. Hot water boiler, check…” and he continued going through a list of supplies.

    -------------------------

    The dust began clearing as two figures stood on opposite ends of the battlefield. Both held their breaths as they awaited the results of the colliding attacks. Finally, the dust dissipated and two small Pokémon stood their ground near the center of the field.

    “Pip! Pip!” challenged the penguin Pokémon from where he stood.

    “Aipom! Ai!” retorted the purple monkey Pokémon.

    “Aipom, return!” said a voice from behind Aipom. A confused Aipom turned around and saw her trainer looking at her with a Pokéball ready in his hand. Aipom understood Ash’s order and quickly ran across the field to where he stood.

    “Huh?” Dawn said with confusion. “Why are you recalling Aipom?”

    “Well, we can train them too hard, or else Piplup won’t have any energy for the contest tomorrow.” Ash explained.

    “Mm, I guess you’re right.” Dawn’s demeanor then brightened up. “Let’s get some two on two battles in, since those will be the kinds of battles in the contest tomorrow!”

    A strange sound then echoed through the air, and the trainer, coordinator, and Pokémon looked at each other strangely. Then, after several seconds, they burst into laughter as they recognized what the sound was.

    “Guess we need some food huh,” said Ash after the laughter subsided.

    “Sure do!” giggled Dawn. “I wonder where Brock is… maybe we have to cook ourselves!” she added in mock horror.

    “Pi-pika!” Pikachu joined in.

    “Hey, who says I can’t be a competent cook,” joked Ash back.

    “Actually, how about we go back to town for lunch,” a deep voice sounded.

    Ash Pikachu and Dawn turned around and saw Altaďr, who looked as if he had been through a washing machine, as his hair was stick out in every which direction.

    “But, what about Brock?” asked Dawn. “Won’t he be looking for us?”

    Altaďr shrugged. “Call him; tell him to meet us wherever we end up.”

    “Wait a second…” but before Ash could continue, his stomach growled again and he gave in. “Ok let’s go.”

    --------------------
    After a quick look around Lightcrown, Ash, Dawn, Pikachu, and Altaďr soon found a small sushi shop and began ordering immediately.

    “Uh… I’m not so good with sushi, so you guys can order for me if you please. Here’s 10.”

    Altaďr handed Ash a bill and went to go sit at a four seat table. Dawn slightly pouted as he left while Ash merely turned his attention back to the menu board.

    “Hm, wonder what I should get for him. No Pikachu, there’s no ketchup here. You’ll have to live without it for now.”

    Pikachu looked down dejectedly as he cooed “Pika…”

    When everything was ordered and the three humans and Pokémon had sat down, they began to dig in.

    “Huh, I wonder where Brock is,” pondered Ash. “Didn’t you call him a while ago Dawn?”

    “Yeah, it’s not like him to be this late…”

    “Well, at least I’m not late anymore,” Brock chimed in as he approached the table.

    “What kept you?” asked Altaďr in monotone.

    “Uh… stuff…” Brock said sheepishly.

    “An Officer Jenny?” teased Dawn.

    Brock froze up at that but shook himself out of it in a second and sat down next to Altaďr.

    “How did she know?” Altaďr could hear Brock mutter under his breath.

    After a couple minutes of silence, Altaďr was the first to speak, which was not a common feat.

    “Ash, I need to… converse with you after lunch… privately.”

    Ash, Brock, Dawn, and Pikachu looked at Altaďr as if he had just told an obscene joke.

    Altaďr ignored their stares and stood up. “I’m done; just meet me outside when you’re done. Pikachu can tag along too, if he pleases.” And with that, he ambled through the restaurant doors and onto the street.

    --------------------

    “Hey, Altaďr, I’m finished too.”

    Altaďr looked up from where he was looking at the ground and began to walk away from where he was leaning on a wall, signaling Ash to follow. Ash obeyed hesitantly.

    For about half a block, Ash walked slightly behind Altaďr in silence, until Altaďr slowed his own pace and moved directly next to Ash. They walked silently for several more moments and Ash began to feel uncomfortable. As he was about to speak, Altaďr finally said his first words.

    “So… uh…”

    Ash stumbled slightly at his anti-climatic opener to whatever he wanted to say.

    “Ugh, I’ll just do it.
    So uh, Ash, have you ever had any… interests in your life? Besides Pokémon?” Altaďr quickly added.

    Ash whirled his head around and gazed at the taller boy with confusion. “Um… what do you mean?”

    “Like… interests in other people?”

    “What do you mean my interests?”

    Altaďr rolled his eyes slightly. “Yeah he is as dense as he looks.”

    “Girls.” Altaďr stated simply

    Ash stumbled again as he heard this. After he recovered, he immediately began to babble incoherently.

    “I… expected this too I guess… Ok, slow down there. Let’s start over. Have you ever had any female interests before?”

    Ash stopped his babbling and formed one comprehensible question in his head.

    “Why do you want to know?”

    “Why are you being so defensive?”

    “Hey, I asked you first!”

    “Not really, I asked you if you’ve ever had any female interests before first, remember?”

    Ash opened his mouth to retort but realized he would just be outsmarted again. However, he still didn’t trust Altaďr with information of this kind. Actually, Ash didn’t even know what he thought at the moment, so he gave grunt in response.

    “Well, I’m not one to push, so if you don’t wanna say anything, meh.” Altaďr said calmly. He waited several seconds for a response before giving up.

    “All right, let’s head back to the others,” Altaďr turned around and began walking in the opposite direction they had been walking in.

    Ash stood where Altaďr had turned around and stared at the ground, mind working at full pace.

    “Do I?”


    --------------------

    Afterthought

    Well, whoever does end up reading this and feels the urge to say or correct something, please do so. I wrote the second half of this chapter in about an hour tonight, so it might be rough here or there. Might be missing italics, capitals, have funny wordings, whatever. It's a school night, and I gotta get sleeping now.

    Enjoy, and sorry, once again, for my absence for anyone who was expecting a new chapter a long time ago.

    -CICHawk
    Last edited by cichawk; 13th July 2008 at 9:44 AM.

  22. #72
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    As I said to a certain someone here on the forums once, as long as one person reads and likes your fic, it's worth continuing. (Or did I say something else? I think it's along those lines.)
    *Whistles and looks away*

    ready to take the burning odor that plagued him off.
    This sounds a bit clumsy, but it is a personal choice thing. I'd think something like "Ready to remove the burning odor that now clung to him."

    He the blinked several times, if it even is possible to see him blink, and stared at the clock once again.
    Brock froze up at that but shook himself out of it in a second and sat down next to Altaďr.

    “How did she know?” Altaďr could hear Brock mutter under his breath.
    Oh, poor Brock. He takes so much abuse here. ;P

    Saying the coordinator’s name in his head sent a wave of feelings that Ash couldn’t comprehend. His stomach had a tingly feeling to it and his chest felt heavy. Emotions ran through his mind but he couldn’t understand what kind of feelings they were.
    That paragraph is one nice piece of work. I really liked your descriptions, (they were very true) but they were believably Ash-like. good job there.

    All in all, I really liked the chapter. One of your best so far, even though the plot here was a bit weak.

    You got a fan in me.

  23. #73
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    Why, hello! Didn't know you would be back on so quickly Lord Zant. =)

    This sounds a bit clumsy, but it is a personal choice thing. I'd think something like "Ready to remove the burning odor that now clung to him."
    Yeah I didn't quite read over the part I wrote before last night, so things might be a bit off there. I'll look into that.

    Oh, poor Brock. He takes so much abuse here. ;P
    Haha I just wanted to give him some lines and have him do something silly since he's not really that important in the plot here so far.

    That paragraph is one nice piece of work. I really liked your descriptions, (they were very true) but they were believably Ash-like. good job there.
    Sometimes I feel as if I overuse that thought/emotion a little bit, or maybe I'm just imagining it since I read over my stuff a couple of times before publishing it here. Oh well, it'll probably be seen again.

    All in all, I really liked the chapter. One of your best so far, even though the plot here was a bit weak.
    Really? I felt as if I rushed the second half of the chapter I wrote last night a bit. But maybe it had just the right amount of detail without being excessive instead. As for the plot, this chapter is more of a leader into the next chapter, since I didn't want to fit so much in one chapter. More interesting stuff is coming in.

    You got a fan in me.
    =D

  24. #74
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    Hey, welcome back. :P

    The new chapter was kinda entertaining, especially with the last part. I guess the Advanceshippy feeling is starting to grow on Ash's side now. I have a feeling that he'll be meeting May at the Lightcrown Contest, whenever you're ready to reach that part of the story.
    I wonder what's up with Altaďr now, his character is one I'm not all that familiar with. All in all, that was a worthy update. Just remember that good art cannot be rushed, and that I'm going to keep following this closely.

  25. #75
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    Your PM states that chapter 8 has been posted, and I don't think you can triple post, even in your own fic.

    The dark figure of Altaďr ambled through the brightly lit streets of Downtown Lightcrown.
    I highly doubt that downtown must be capitalized.

    “That was… kinda weird.”
    You have speech down pretty well, at least better than my attempts...

    “Huh?” Dawn said confusedly.
    That's the second time you've done that!

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