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Thread: Pokemon: Neo Genesis (AaMayL/Advanceshipping, PG-13)

  1. #126
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    Okey-doke! It's time to have fun with acronyms! Unfortunately, Someone *glares in Swampert's direction* had to go and rain on my parade by being all serious! So how can I be silly now? Heh, maybe I should pull a Pikamaster and delete his post (happened to me way to many times). Not that I can. Anyhoo, how about:
    Pokemon: Deniers of Intelligence
    Pokemon that are Dumb and Insolent
    Hmm, I can't think of anymore that are worth posting.

  2. #127
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    Heh, you're all wrong about the acronym. But sadly, your efforts will have to wait as it's not revealed in this chapter. Nice tries though.

    Foreword

    Well, maybe this chapter will explain some of the enigma.

    -------------------

    Chapter 16 – Directed Business


    Light Tower stood majestically at where the business sector and the downtown sector met with its bells tolling a single time to indicate that the time was 1 pm. Almost directly above Light Tower, the sun blazed down upon the heads of walking pedestrians and made the air stuffy. However, one traveler ignored the waves of heat as he walked briskly while gently pushing slower pedestrians aside to get through.

    The dark, untidy haired boy slipped sideways between two portly gentlemen and kept his black eyes staring straight ahead so he could foresee other human obstacles. Soon, the teenaged boy reached an intersection and instantly began searching for the street signs. He knew he was already on 5th Street and supposedly, the street he had just reached was Marbury Street. The green sign he was searching for confirmed that he was in the correct area.

    The teenaged boy then began moving down Marbury Street and eyed the buildings on both sides of the street until he saw the word “Mason’s Pawnshop” in the distance. He picked up his pace and continued to gently shove people out of his way.

    A bell rang as the boy opened the door into the shabby building with bars on its windows. The air smelled musty and the interior was dim. Many different items of varying value, ranging from simple china to large statues occupied much of the space. The boy also noticed many paintings, electronics, and other random items littering the room. At the end of the cramped room was an unoccupied counter. The teenager moved silently to the counter and rung the bell that sat on it.

    “I’ll be right there,” a gruff voice shouted through a door off to the side.

    Within the minute, a man with a head and face full of hair entered from the door. The man had long brownish-blond hair that flowed onto his shoulders and a long beard and mustache of the same color. As the man came closer to the boy, his face brightened with surprise.

    “Mr. Altaďr, it’s-it’s been a while!” the man smiled and held a hand out.

    “Likewise Mason,” Altaďr said plainly while shaking the shop owner’s hand. “And drop the mister, please,” he added with a smile.

    “I suppose you’re here for your goods?” Mason questioned as he knelt down behind the counter and rummaged through objects that were unseen to Altaďr.

    “You know it.”

    “Well, here they are.” Mason reappeared from under the counter with a suitcase and a lumpy package bundled in plain brown wrapping paper. “Oh, and this too,” he added while reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small electronic chip.

    “I suppose that goes into something you’ve already got?”

    “Yeah, thanks,” said Altaďr without a change in his tone. He took the chip from Mason’s hand and slipped it into his own pocket, and then pulled the suitcase and bundle towards him.

    “Your six-inchers, as you requested,” said Mason as Altaďr began to work the buckle on the suitcase. Altaďr then stopped with what he was doing as Mason gave him that information and simply nodded.

    “And black, like you said, also,” added the shop owner while pointing to the lumpy bundle.

    “Then my business here is done. Thank you.” Altaďr held the suitcase in his left hand and tucked the bundle under his right arm, then made his way for the entrance.

    “And you be careful out there, Altaďr,” called Mason as Altaďr reached for the doorknob.

    “You know me, I always know what I’m doing,” Altaďr said without turning back. He turned the doorknob and walked out onto the bright streets.

    --------------------

    “Wow, I haven’t eaten something that hasn’t been cooked by Brock in a while,” said a blue-haired girl as she walked next to her brunette companion. The two were now walking down the streets around the stadium, searching for a convenient place to eat.

    “Brock… I haven’t seen him, or Ash… in such a long time…” May said quietly.

    “Hey, you know what? We should go see them right now! I’ll just call Ash’s PokéNav and we’ll all meet someplace. Oh I bet Ash and Brock will be so surprised to see you! Well, maybe not, since you were the first contestant out there today, but still!” Dawn’s face was full of excitement as she habitually reached for her backpack only to realize it was still in her locker at the dressing room.

    “Uh, well, that’s ok… it may be pretty tough to find them in this giant place, anyway. We can always meet up with them later. Let’s just… find Altaďr and grab a quick bite.” May smiled as innocently as she could, hoping Dawn would not see through her ruse.

    “Oh, that works too I guess. I would have thought you wanted to see Ash though.”

    May made a small spasm at that, but Dawn was not facing her so therefore her action went unnoticed.

    “Why did she mention only Ash?” May thought to herself. “Does she-Does she know?”

    The brunette shook off her thoughts, attributing them to her hunger. “Well, I sure am starved, how does that place look?” May pointed at a small shop with the words “Nick’s Quick Licks” above.

    “That sounds like a-hey wait, isn’t that Altaďr on the other side of the street?” Dawn said while pointing as well.

    May’s heartbeat quickened at hearing that name, and she turned her view in the direction Dawn was pointing. She squinted to find the boy’s figure amidst the pedestrians, and soon identified his longish scraggly hair.

    “Yeah, I think that is him.” The coordinator then noticed that both his hands were occupied with two objects. “What’s he carrying?” she added.

    “Hmm, it looks like he’s carrying a suitcase in one hand… I can’t make out the other though. Let’s call him over and ask him.” Dawn brought her hands to her mouth and cupped them. “HEY, ALT-.” But before she could finish his name, he had vanished into the large crowd of the stadium square.

    --------------------

    “Man, I’m starved! Aren’t you, Pikachu?” said a black-haired, capped trainer as he and his companions walked through a large crowd of commuting tourists that were outside of the stadium.

    “Pika!” The little Mouse Pokémon patted his stomach as it growled.

    “Ash, don’t you think we should call Dawn? Maybe we could meet up with her for lunch… and maybe someone else will be with her as well.” Brock began patting himself on the back for concocting such a perfect plan on the spot.

    The starving trainer abruptly stopped his gait and looked down sadly at his stomach. Then he turned back and looked at Brock.

    “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said while reaching into his pocket for his PokéNav. Quickly working the device, Ash selected Dawn’s name from a list and soon heard ringing through the speaker. However, after several seconds of unanswered ringing, the voice mailbox activated which then Ash hung up.

    “Guess she doesn’t have her PokéNav with her. Well, I’m about to die from hunger now, so let’s just find a…” Ash stopped midsentence as he looked blankly through the crowd.

    “Pika?” Pikachu’s ears stood straight up as he looked in the same direction as his trainer.

    “Uh, what’s got your tongue, Ash?” questioned the breeder.

    “Huh? What?” Ash shook his head violently before zoning back in. “Oh um, I thought I saw Altaďr… and he was carrying a suitcase and something else…”

    “Really?” Brock squinted his already squinty eyes to scan the wave of people in the direction Ash had looked. “I don’t see him. Either you’re hallucinating from hunger, or he’s already gone.” Brock slapped the younger male’s back jokingly.

    “Yeah… maybe…”

    --------------------

    “Let’s see what we’ve got here.”

    Altaďr was now sitting on a toilet in a bathroom stall with his PDA in his hand while his packages and backpack sat on the ground. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the chip that Mason had given him. Altaďr held the chip close to his face and examined it closely, before then holding up his PDA as well and sliding the chip into a slot on the side.

    The PDA made several electronic noises which then a prompt asking whether the user wanted to open the external device appeared. Altaďr selected “Yes” and instantly a plain white screen with black words appeared before him.

    Mission update for Operative D-091

    High priority target to appear at restaurant “Five Crown’s Palace” at 1800. Mission objective to perform surveillance on target and report intelligence immediately. Maintain primary mission profile and do not jeopardize primary mission objective.

    Details on target…


    The bathroom door suddenly opened which caused Altaďr to jump. He quickly shut off his PDA and packed all his belongings together, and then waited for the second occupant of the restroom to exit. When he heard the footsteps leave through the door, he opened his own stall door and quickly made his way out.

    Altaďr swiftly made his way to the dressing room, then to his locker, and stuffed his new assets into the locker. When he had finished, he walked back into the hallways and made his way to the staging area. The teenaged boy then felt fatigue overtake his body, which signaled it was time he takes another nap on a couch.

    “I’ll need the rest.”

    -------------------

    “And with that final appeal, the judges will now select 32 coordinators to move on into the next double-battle rounds, who will then fight for a place in the top 16! The selection process will take about a half hour, so do what y’all need to do, and be back for when we announce the first 32 finalists!”

    The time was 4 in the afternoon, and Altaďr opened his eyes wide open as he heard the final part of MC Brian’s announcement.

    “Three hours, that’ll do.”

    The teenaged boy pulled himself off the couch and tasted a rancid flavor in his mouth. He decided that he needed a good drink, which lead him to walk over to the bar to order up a drink of strawberry flavor. Altaďr slowly sipped his delicate drink as he watched highlights from the appeal round on a large flat screen that hung above the bar.

    After a minute or so of watching, a strange ringing noise emitted from behind him. Altaďr ignored the sound at first, but as the ringing continued, he realized where the source of the sound was coming from. The teenager quickly jumped off his stool and walked briskly to a corner of the room, where he swung his backpack off and pulled out a ringing PDA. He then grabbed a pair of earphones from the inside of his backpack and plugged them into the PDA, before touching the words “Accept Call” on the screen of his PDA. The ringing box that occupied his screen disappeared as the face of a bald, rugged looking man who was in his senior years appeared.

    “ALTAIR, WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING!” screamed the man. Luckily, Altaďr had plugged in the earphones so the entire room wouldn’t hear the man yelling, but that didn’t prevent his eardrums from almost bursting.

    “Damn! You don’t have to yell so loudly, man.”

    “Don’t you call me “man,” you pompous punk!” the man’s face began turning red.

    “Hey, I’m not exactly your ‘Operatives,’ alright? I’ll call you whatever I want, but if you’re gonna cry over it, I’ll just call you what you are, happy Director?” Altaďr gave a sardonic grin at the man in the small screen.

    “Cut the glib attitude, kid. You know that if you’re contacted on a mission, then you’ve screwed up bad. Can you guess what you’ve done this time?”

    “Probably, but I don’t really care. Every time I’ve ‘screwed’ up, I seem to complete my tasks without any sort of problems, and sometimes even do more than I’m expected to. So what’s the problem this time,” Altaďr said with boredom.

    “Don’t get so cocky, boy. What the hell do you think you’re doing in a heavily broadcasted… Pokémon contest?! You know how important keeping a low profile is!”

    “Hm, how do you know I’m in a contest? I thought it was for security and low profile measures that only one ‘Operative’ is to work in a designated area. And for the contest being broadcasted, it’s only being broadcasted in Lightcrown. Do you have me tailed again?” Altaďr now gave an annoyed look at the Director.

    “No, I don’t have you tailed this time, but we do monitor all television feeds to every corner of the Sinnoh region, so naturally we found you prancing around in this little contest of yours. Mind telling me what you think you’re doing?” The Director’s face had lost some of its flush and he was now speaking in a more controlled tone.

    “Ah, well, I was a little bored in this city. I mean it’s not the first time I’ve been here. Needed to have a little bit of fun, eh?” Altaďr shrugged innocently.

    “As arrogant and cocky as always,” the Director said exasperatedly while leaning his forehead on a hand. “Well, we can’t reverse any of the actions you’ve done, so all we can do now is hope you haven’t been noticed by either of the gangs.”

    Altaďr then gave a sheepish chuckle. “Heh, about that…”

    “Argh! I don’t want to hear it anymore. Just don’t screw up.” The Director’s face disappeared with a beep from Altaďr’s.

    “Oh, I won’t.”

    --------------------

    Afterthought

    Now the plot’s really coming along, eh?

    Well, the title’s sort of a pun, with the Director and all the Business that’s going on.

  3. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by cichawk View Post
    Within the minute, a man with a head and face full of hair entered from the door. The man had long brownish-blond hair that flowed onto his shoulders and a long beard and mustache of the same color. As the man came closer to the boy, his face brightened with surprise.

    “Mr. Altaďr, it’s-it’s been a while!” the man smiled and held a hand out.

    “Likewise Mason,” Altaďr said plainly while shaking the shop owner’s hand. “And drop the mister, please,” he added with a smile.
    Mason remainds me of the movie "The Rock"

    “Why did she mention only Ash?” May thought to herself. “Does she-Does she know?”
    Yeah she knows

    “ALTAIR, WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING!” screamed the man. Luckily, Altaďr had plugged in the earphones so the entire room wouldn’t hear the man yelling, but that didn’t prevent his eardrums from almost bursting.
    This dose also remainds me of an movie, but i don't remember what movie

    “No, I don’t have you tailed this time, but we do monitor all television feeds to every corner of the Sinnoh region, so naturally we found you prancing around in this little contest of yours. Mind telling me what you think you’re doing?” The Director’s face had lost some of its flush and he was now speaking in a more controlled tone.
    Lol

    Great chapter and keep up the good work

    And i don't have a clue of what PDI stands for
    Last edited by Mayziken; 4th February 2008 at 2:19 AM.
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  4. #129
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    I'm late.
    Enlightening chapter anyway. The plot surges forward, and into murkier depths.

    Altaďr is no ordinary guy: Check. I guess him being a member of this organization has granted him some special training by which he managed to break the contest so easily.


    Quote Originally Posted by cichawk
    “Cut the glib attitude, kid. You know that if you’re contacted on a mission, then you’ve screwed up bad. Can you guess what you’ve done this time?”

    “Probably, but I don’t really care. Every time I’ve ‘screwed’ up, I seem to complete my tasks without any sort of problems, and sometimes even do more than I’m expected to. So what’s the problem this time,” Altaďr said with boredom.
    Heh, so like him.

  5. #130
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    Why hello, a new reviewer. Everybody welcome Mayziken now. =)

    Mason remainds me of the movie "The Rock"
    Wikipedia + The Rock = A nice picture of this Mason you speak of. However, I envision my Mason to be younger, with not-white hair.

    Yeah she knows
    Oh hey, looks like I forgot to put italics in that one part you quoted. Thanks for unintentionally finding an error for me. (My editors have yet review and edit anything)

    This dose also remainds me of an movie, but i don't remember what movie
    I'll bet it's a movie with a super awesome but cocky spy guy and a old and cranky play-by-the-rules boss. =P

    Lol

    Great chapter and keep up the good work

    And i don't have a clue of what PDI stands for
    Well, if you knew what PDI stood for, then you'd know what the whole story was about. ;-)

    Earthborn

    I'm late.
    Enlightening chapter anyway. The plot surges forward, and into murkier depths.
    Looking back, I somewhat think I revealed a bit too much too quickly. Could have made it a lot more ominous and suspenseful, but then my justification for not doing that is then it'll make all you readers way more suspended than you already need to be. (I mean I already put off the ship, which is supposed to be a major point in the fic, for a good number of chapters)

    Altaďr is no ordinary guy: Check. I guess him being a member of this organization has granted him some special training by which he managed to break the contest so easily.
    That's sort of what I meant about revealing too much too fast. Now you all know he's some sort of agent. Oh well, I'll still work with what I got.

    Heh, so like him.
    Indeed.

  6. #131
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    A bit late, but whatever. Enjoy this silly poem that only took a combined total of probably 20 minutes to do.

    --------------------

    Fourteenth Day, Second Month

    Lying in my soft white bed,
    I wonder if you’re dreaming,
    Sleeping slow with eyes shut tight,
    Beneath the moonlight gleaming.

    I ponder if you dream of me,
    As I often do of you,
    But then I wake to the rising sun,
    And taste the morning dew.

    Pulling on my loose blue jeans,
    I wonder what the day will hold,
    I then recall the month and date,
    And why it feels so cold.

    The fourteenth day, the second month,
    That special time of year,
    When lovers meet and gander ‘bout,
    And embrace ones held dear.

    I look at you, you look at me,
    And smile at my gaze,
    I turn away, face flush with red,
    Feeling in a daze.

    That was one full year ago,
    A year without your heart,
    You’ve left me now for better things,
    And now we’re far apart.

    I never took the leap,
    And feel like such a fool,
    Now you always plague my mind,
    You’re now my eye and jewel.

    Walking down the lonely street,
    Snow cascading on my hair,
    My thoughts drift back to you,
    Remembering times we share.

    The fourteenth day, the second month,
    How I loathe the day,
    For being here all alone,
    Makes my mind go grey.

    I see a figure in the distance,
    But don’t give it a thought,
    Then the shadow waves at me,
    And I become distraught.

    I come closer, wondering who may be,
    This strange person, waving at me,
    I then recognize the shape, the hair,
    Then the face, and I think it can’t be.

    My heart melts,
    My knees grow weak,
    For I have found you,
    The one I seek.
    Last edited by cichawk; 22nd February 2008 at 4:29 AM.

  7. #132
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    Keep it up cichawk! I'm a big Advanceshipper, and this fic has some awesome potential. The characters (Altair is cool), the plot at the moment - solid stuff. Got any ideas of the length yet?
    Pokémon KD (Kanto Dimension) is located at a Fan Comics forum. Updates (whe)never.

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  8. #133
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    Default Review - Again...

    Okay, so the first review I wrote for last chapter evidently didn't make it...

    So I'm gonna write it again.

    A bit late, but whatever. Enjoy this silly poem that only took a combined total of probably 20 minutes to do.
    Eh, I don't care how late it is - you beat me. (Not hard to do, though...)

    Makes my mind go grey
    You didn't spell gray wrong, but I don't spell it that way. The dictionary agreed with both of us. (Stupid English Language...)

    Now, I might not seem like much of a poet, but I do like to read and write it every now and then.

    You’ve become my eye and jewel
    To me, pacing would have been better with: "You are my eye and jewel." or "You're now my eye and jewel."

    I liked how you made it rhyme, but I'd have seperated it into stanzas, or something. It looked a bit overwhelming at first.

    Lying in my soft white bed,
    I wonder if you’re dreaming,
    Sleeping slow with eyes shut tight,
    Beneath the moonlight gleaming.
    You also seemed to miss out on punctuation. Where I am, you end every line of a poem with punctuation, or a comma if you didn't have a sentence per line.

    So what the poem boils down to is this:
    Great poem, but a bit lacking in formatting, in my opinion.

    I'll edit this post with my review for last chapter later... watch this space!

  9. #134
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    And everybody say hello to Matt Silver. =D

    Keep it up cichawk! I'm a big Advanceshipper, and this fic has some awesome potential. The characters (Altair is cool), the plot at the moment - solid stuff. Got any ideas of the length yet?
    Glad you've taken an interest in my fic. I plan to keep the story flowing at it's own pace, so the length will be quite... lengthy. I think I stated somewhere that part one will be over twenty chapters, and I plan on having three parts for this fic alone. There may be a sequel after that then.

    Lord Zant

    Okay, so the first review I wrote for last chapter evidently didn't make it...

    So I'm gonna write it again.
    =( I'm sure there was a lot to say about that last chapter too.

    Eh, I don't care how late it is - you beat me. (Not hard to do, though...)
    And yet again, I'm starting to slack off.

    You didn't spell gray wrong, but I don't spell it that way. The dictionary agreed with both of us. (Stupid English Language...)

    Now, I might not seem like much of a poet, but I do like to read and write it every now and then.
    I just like that spelling of grey better. =P

    I wrote more poems during my middle school years since there was a whole unit on poems way back then. I generally don't like reading it, but writing it is fun sometimes, though I definitely can't write it as easily as I used to (rhymezone.com and thesaurus.com anybody?).

    To me, pacing would have been better with: "You are my eye and jewel." or "You're now my eye and jewel."

    I liked how you made it rhyme, but I'd have seperated it into stanzas, or something. It looked a bit overwhelming at first.
    Hm, I'm gonna make a little steal here, heh. Yeah looking back, while continuing from the previous line, your suggestion sounds better. Standing alone, my line sounds good, at least to me, because of the stressed syllables and whatnot, but in conjunction with the previous line, what you wrote would sound better.

    And I'll also make some stanzas, as you suggested.

    You also seemed to miss out on punctuation. Where I am, you end every line of a poem with punctuation, or a comma if you didn't have a sentence per line.
    Lazy and didn't put much effort. Fixed.

    So what the poem boils down to is this:
    Great poem, but a bit lacking in formatting, in my opinion.
    Same as last.

    Anyway, just a little thing I wanted to say about this poem. I purposely made it vague because to me, this poem has a bit of a double meaning. It's pretty evident that this would be from Ash's point of view, but actually, it could really be told from anybody's point of view, even mind ;-)

  10. #135
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    Foreword

    Whew, it’s been a while.

    First contest battle here, though truthfully, it’s not much different than any old battle. Enjoy.

    ------------------

    Chapter 17 – Double Edged


    “Well, after much deliberation by our judges, we have now narrowed the field down to the 32 coordinators that will move on to the double contest battle round. The results should be showing on the screens at the top of the stadium in a few moments now.”

    Every head in the stadium was turned upwards as the entire audience looked up at the large screens posted at the top of the stadium, anxiously waiting to see if their favorite coordinators would make it. Inside the staging room, the air became suddenly still as every coordinator in the room held his or her breath.

    Then, with a blink, the screens that had been broadcasting the contest throughout the day showed a tournament bracket with portraits of the coordinators that had passed into the next round.

    “And with that, the next preliminary battle round will begin immediately, starting with the two coordinators at the farthest left of the bracket.”

    In the staging room, Dawn and May were both shocked, and not because that they had both made it to the next round, but because Dawn was to battle a highly acclaimed coordinator named Geoffrey in the very first battle, and May was to battle Altaďr in the very last.

    The two girls stared at each other with large eyes until Dawn broke the eye contact when she spotted Geoffrey passing behind May, who shot a sinister grin to the blue-haired coordinator. Geoffrey had performed an extraordinary appeal by coordinating Dragon Dances complete with background music with his Altaria and Dragonair. Geoffrey himself was a flamboyant young man with the form and appearance of a dancer. His slick black hair that was parted to the side and his tight black vest and pants may cause people to question his masculinity and Pokémon battling skills, but Dawn had seen a tremendous amount of power and skill in his appeal to know he would not be an easy opponent. She assumed that he would most likely go with his two disclosed Dragon-types, so she would have to use Buneary for her Ice Beam attack. Dawn decided that she would have to use her overall best fighter, Buizel, to help in the battle in whatever way he could, though Water-type attacks are weak against Dragon-types.

    May, who was now staring into blank space, felt a chill crawl down her spine as the thought of battling Altaďr plagued her mind. She could not oust the images of the trainer and his Eevee-evolutions completely annihilating everything she could throw out, even though May had not witnessed the battle between Altaďr and Ash. Panic and angst began to overtake the coordinator as the images continued.

    “Dawn and Geoffrey, please head for the stage entrance for the first battle,” announced the familiar PA voice.

    Dawn then summoned as much determination and focus for the ensuing battle before giving one last look at May, and then headed for the large sliding doors of the stage entrance. But determination and focus alone wouldn’t win the battle for her. She would need some luck, and perhaps some wisdom.

    Geoffrey was already waiting by the door by the time Dawn got there, and with a graceful flick of his wrist, he allowed her to pass through the door first.

    “Ladies first, of course,” Geoffrey said in his somewhat high pitched voice.

    Dawn ignored the mocking tone in his voice and strode past the male coordinator, mind completely focused on the battle to come.

    As Dawn and Geoffrey stepped into the sunlight, the crowd exploded, as usual, at the sight of the two coordinators. They continued to walk and wave until they reached the circular stage, which now had a battling field on it, and made their way for opposite ends of the field. MC Brian began his introduction for the battle.

    “And here is our first battle for this afternoon! In the red box, we have Geoffrey, the well known Master of Dance from the Johto Region! And in the green box, we have Dawn, the young coordinator from Twinleaf Town that has proven herself worthy in contests pasts! You all know the rules of contest battles, so coordinators, prepare your Pokéballs!”

    Dawn instinctively reached for Buneary and Buizel’s Pokéballs and grabbed one in each hand. Geoffrey, on the other end, tossed two of his own Pokéballs into the air and balanced both of them on his index fingers when they fell back down. The crowd Ooo’d at his display while Geoffrey just gave another smirk.

    “Alright, choose your Pokémon now, and let the battle begin!”

    “Altaria, Dragonair, show time!” said Geoffrey as he tossed his Pokéballs off his fingertips.

    “Buneary, Buizel, spotlight!” Dawn flung her two Pokéballs into the air as well.

    On the red side, Geoffrey’s two Pokéballs opened up with large bursts of blue light, thanks to the ball capsules that he used, and revealed his two Dragon-types.

    Dawn’s Pokéballs opened up with rainbow designs, revealing her Buizel and her…

    “PIPLUP?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE?!”

    “Pip-Piplup?” said the confused Penguin Pokémon.

    “And looks like Dawn has decided to go with two Water-type Pokémon against two Dragon-types; an interesting matchup choice on her part. But it’s not just type advantages that win battles, so let’s see how this battle will turn out!”

    A bell sounded and the five minute clock began to run. However, Dawn was still confused on how she managed to grab Piplup’s Pokéball instead of Buneary’s. She quickly checked the Pokéballs that she had strapped onto her waist and saw that Buneary’s Pokéball was still there, but not in its usual spot. The coordinator started cursing at her simple folly.

    “Perform Dragon Dance!” yelled a voice from across the field. Dawn snapped back and noticed that the battle had begun. Dragonair and Altaria had already begun dancing gracefully by swirling around and swaying. Dawn knew she had to act fast.

    “Buizel, harass them with Aqua Jet and Piplup, slow them down with Bubblebeam!”

    Dawn’s Buizel nodded once as he quickly picked up speed and was soon airborne with a veil of water around him, charging at the two Dragon-types. Piplup began charging up for a Bubblebeam attack.

    “Altaria, Dragonair, perform Safeguard!” commanded Geoffrey. Spheres of glowing blue light appeared around the two Pokémon, protecting them from any slowing affect by Piplup’s Bubblebeam. Buizel began slamming into the Dragons with Aqua Jet, but the two Dragons seemed to be largely unaffected by the attack. Piplup’s Bubblebeam came into contact soon afterward, but harmlessly bounced off the Safeguard. Dawn’s points dropped slightly.

    “And what a brilliant move by Geoffrey, using Safeguard to render Piplup’s Bubblebeam useless so he can continue to speed up his Pokémon!” The crowd cheered loudly for the male coordinator.

    Dawn scowled at Geoffrey’s good move, and began thinking up of another plan of attack. Meanwhile, Dragonair and Altaria continued to perform Dragon Dance, which increased their attack power and speed even higher. Geoffrey’s points dropped a fraction due to his repeated use of one move.

    “Alright, if we can’t slow them, we might as well trap them! Piplup, Whirlpool now!” ordered Dawn.

    Piplup nodded in acknowledgement as he jumped into the air.

    “Pippppp…” said the Penguin Pokémon as he extended his body upwards and turned white.

    “Dragonair, perform Outrage!”

    Dragonair ceased his dancing and began flying towards the jumping Piplup. Dawn knew an Outrage would be devastating to Piplup, so she had to counter it before it was too late.

    “Buizel, give Dragonair a barrage of Sonicbooms, fast!” she yelled out desperately.

    “Altaria, perform DragonBreath,” said Geoffrey while smirking.

    Altaria opened his mouth and a green beam exited his mouth, heading straight for Buizel. Meanwhile, Dragonair was only a few meters away from Piplup.

    “Buizel, Aqua Jet into Sonicboom!” cried out Dawn.

    Using his great speed, Buizel dodged the incoming DragonBreath with Aqua Jet and flew through the air to intercept the rampaging Dragonair that threatened his teammate. However, with the speed increase of Dragon Dance, Buizel was too late as Dragonair made contact with Piplup and began to thrash him around.

    “No! Piplup!” Dawn could only watch in horror as Dragonair tore at her defenseless Pokémon with unreal quickness and power. In the air, Piplup cried out his name in pain as Dragonair continued to damage him.

    Dawn’s points took another hit as Piplup took the attack. Not knowing exactly what to do, Buizel decided to fire off his Sonicbooms at an unsuspecting Altaria, doing damage to him. Geoffrey’s points took a hit as well.

    Eventually, the onslaught of Dragonair’s Outrage ended, and a severely beat up Piplup hit the ground.

    “Pip…lup…” said the Penguin Pokémon weakly as it crawled on the ground.

    “Piplup… I’m so sorry…” whispered Dawn softly to herself. She brought out his Pokéball to recall him back, as he looked to be in no condition to continue fighting, but as soon as Piplup saw the Pokéball come out, he jumped onto his feet and puffed up his chest proudly, showing that he still had some fight left in him.

    Dawn was thinking about recalling Piplup despite the protest, but as she held the Pokéball out, she remembered Altaďr’s words to Ash during their battle.

    "Your Pokémon are the ones that are in the heat of battle, so the Pokémon would know better than anyone what the consequences may be if they make a bad move. With a Pokémon's own instincts, they are the ones that know what the best course of action is, because they are the ones that have done actual battling and have received battle wounds.”


    Dawn figured that if Altaďr’s Pokémon had the instincts to battle on their own, then her Pokémon would at least have the instincts to know when to keep fighting. She smiled brightly and nodded to Piplup, communicating silently to her starter Pokémon.

    “That Outrage attack looked to be devastating!” announced MC Brian. “But Piplup still seems to have some fight left in him. Now the question is, should Dawn still let him in that condition? On the other end, Dragonair looks to be confused after that powerful attack, and Altaria is still recovering from that vicious Sonicboom attack!”

    Dawn heard the things MC Brian said, and she began to strategize once again. There was still three and a half minutes left on the clock, plenty of time for her to turn the battle around. Dawn’s points were a bit over three quarters while Geoffrey had only lost about one eighth of his points. She knew that she couldn’t defeat Geoffrey’s Pokémon normally, due to the type disadvantage and the weakened state of Piplup, so she had to find a way to turn the points around, or find another way to do damage.

    “That’s it! Dragonair is confused, so if we can make him attack himself, he should cause a lot of damage to himself because of his high attack, and make them lose some points as well!”


    “Alright, Piplup, get a Whirlpool around Altaria to trap him. Buizel, protect Piplup with anything you got; Dragonair is too confused to do anything right now!”

    “Altaria, perform DragonBreath to drive them back!” Geoffrey, who had not expected Piplup to survive the Outrage attack, now had no idea what to do.

    Altaria opened his mouth once again, letting out the green beam aimed at Piplup, but Buizel skillfully deflected the attack with his Water Gun. Geoffrey’s points went down for having his attack countered.

    Piplup, now clear of any threats, jumped into the air and began charging up for Whirlpool once again. Several seconds passed, and Piplup finished gathering his energy and unleashed his Whirlpool on Altaria.

    The Whirlpool scored a direct hit on Altaria as he finished his DragonBreath attack, trapping the Humming Pokémon in a torrent of water.

    “Altaria, perform… perform…” but Geoffrey could only watch on as his Pokémon was thrown around by the spinning water. Geoffrey’s points dropped to a point lower than Dawn’s.

    “Piplup, hold Whirlpool for as long as possible! Buizel, it’s your turn. Hit and run Dragonair with Aqua Jet now!”

    “Bui!” saluted the Sea Weasel Pokémon. The familiar cloak of water surrounded Buizel as he picked up speed and jumped into the air. Dragonair was still confused from his Outrage attack and was squirming around wildly. Buizel began to prod the Dragon Pokémon with Aqua Jet, and provoked Dragonair to strike back, but due to his confused state, he began to damage himself.

    “Dawn seems to have taken control of the battle now, trapping Altaria with Whirlpool and sending Buizel to attack Dragonair so Dragonair would damage himself due to his confusion! What an ingenious strategy thought up on the spot by the young coordinator!” the crowd cheered louder then ever for Dawn.

    Buizel continued to poke at Dragonair with a fury of Aqua Jets, causing Dragonair to repeatedly retaliate, only to hit himself due to his confused state. Geoffrey’s points lowered further and further all the way to the halfway point. There was only two minutes left on the clock.

    “Altaria, Dragonair… perform something!” yelled out Geoffrey in a high pitched voice. He could only watch on as his Pokémon took damage and his points drop.

    Eventually, Piplup’s Whirlpool began to falter, and the water began to spin more slowly. Soon enough, Piplup dropped to the ground, exhausted, which allowed Altaria to be released from his water prison.

    “Alright! Altaria, perform DragonBreath to finish off Piplup!” Geoffrey commanded with renewed vigor.

    “Buizel, do what you have to!” said Dawn, taking the words of Altaďr into account once again and putting faith in her Pokémon’s natural abilities.

    Buizel heard her words and nodded. Dragonair’s daze was beginning to wear off, and Buizel noticed that so he began to taunt the Dragon-type. Dragonair was pretty worn out from his own self-beating, but he still had enough to finish off Buizel effortlessly. The arrogant Dragon Pokémon soon became enraged at the small Water-type that had caused him so much pain, and began charging at Buizel with intent on using Outrage without his trainer’s order.

    Geoffrey observed what was going on from the ground and noticed something very wrong.

    “Dragonair! No! Stop!” but his cries were unheard by the rampaging Pokémon.

    Buizel could only smirk at the vain Pokémon and began to use Aqua Jet to run away. Dragonair glared at the Sea Weasel Pokémon and picked up speed thanks to his Dragon Dances. The Dragon-type was gaining fast on Buizel, but when it looked like Dragonair was in reach to pulverize Buizel, Buizel quickly swerved to the right, causing Dragonair to slam into the only other thing in the air.

    Altaria chirped in surprise as his DragonBreath was interrupted by a collision to his back. Dragonair was unable to stop his Outrage attack since once he was on the road to use it, he could not undo the attack. The two teammates tangled with one another, Altaria taking large amounts of damage from Dragonair’s Outrage, and Dragonair becoming even more confused and worn out as he kept on attacking. After about fifteen seconds of the attack, both Dragonair and Altaria fell out of the sky, worn and beat. Due to Dragon-types being weak against their own type, Altaria was instantly knocked out by the powerful attack. Dragonair was just too beat to continue on fighting. The battle was over.

    “Amazing! Though at a big disadvantage against Geoffrey’s two powerful Dragons, Dawn was able to exploit their weaknesses and use their attacks against themselves. Such tactics deserves a great commendation, don’t you agree folks?”

    The sounds of cheers and applause by the audience filled up the entire stadium for the victory of Dawn. Dawn herself was stunned at what she had just witnessed, but soon brought herself back together and gracefully bowed in every direction.

    “Congratulations on winning Dawn! You will advance to the second rounds of appeals on day two of this contest, where the competition will be tougher than ever! But for now, you and your Pokémon deserve a rest for a job well done!”

    Dawn finished her bowing and began to exit the stage while waving to the ecstatic audience. As she made it to the short stairway, she crossed paths with Geoffrey, who gave her a disdainful look, but held out a hand to shake nonetheless.

    “G’job,” mumbled the disgruntled coordinator.

    “Yeah…” replied Dawn, feeling slightly awkward shaking his hand.

    “And of course, ladies first,” he said while motioning with his hands to let her go down the stairs first.

    “Thanks…”

    -----------------
    Afterthought

    Well, that was all quite interesting to write. To be honest, the stuff I can write is pretty restricted since Dawn’s Pokémon all have pretty small and strange movesets, so it’s pretty difficult making something out of the ordinary with that. Hopefully this turned out alright though.

    First chapter I’ve written over 2500 words in a while too.

    The chapter title “Double Edged” comes from the cliché, or whatever it’s supposed to be called, of the “double edged sword,” saying that everything has a consequence… or something to that effect. Anyway, Outrage was definitely a double edged sword here.

  11. #136
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    Ah, another chapter. I kinda missed reviewing your poem, but in short, it was good, and so was this new chapter.

    First things first:

    Quote Originally Posted by cichawk
    May was to battle Altaďr in the very last.
    Aah, how touching that will be indeed. The battle of irony; maybe Dawn will be on the other side (if) she makes it to the finals.
    Or maybe Altair won't show up and ... nah. He will have to show up.

    Quote Originally Posted by cichawk
    Well, that was all quite interesting to write. To be honest, the stuff I can write is pretty restricted since Dawn’s Pokémon all have pretty small and strange movesets, so it’s pretty difficult making something out of the ordinary with that. Hopefully this turned out alright though.
    I guess battles are interesting to write if you put some creativity into them. This sure had you variation of what we call "classic self-pawn" didn't it?
    It just goes to show that you can't plan everything in advance like Geoffrey did, you need a good presence of mind.

    So, this chapter was one of pure battle description. I guess we're going to have two more: one for May and one for Altair. I can't wait to see the latter's battle now, but I do hope you put some plot elements into those two.
    Maybe you're cooking up something big during this whole mini-festival (it certainly is like a miniature Grand Festival though), but let's wait and see.

    All in all, a good, but basically filler chapter, with some decorous descriptions. I say you keep it going!

  12. #137
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    Foreword

    Hm, I didn’t actually take a whole year to get this chapter out.

    On with this little contest saga, though still much to happen and not everything is going to be what you expect.

    --------------------

    Chapter 18 – Fear, Fight, Flee


    “What should I do what should I do what should I do…”


    An extremely nervous brown haired coordinator paced back and forth, ignoring the awkward stares the other coordinators were giving her.

    “Why me… why out of all the coordinators here… why do I have to battle him?”

    The brunette brought her fingers up to mouth and began to gently gnaw on her fingernails.

    “I can’t beat him… I just can’t. I know I can’t.”

    Eventually, the distressed girl ceased her pacing and took a seat on an empty couch.

    “I’m sorry Ash… I guess I just can’t show you the progress I’ve made since I… since I left you… to go to Johto… that is, if I’ve even improved at all.”

    May buried her face in her hands and sighed deeply, holding back the emotions that were now welling up in her chest.

    “No, no more crying. I’m past all that now… All the contests, Ash, Drew, that’s made me stronger now. I can handle feelings like this now…”

    But as she tried to suppress her emotions, images of Ash looking at her with disappointment for losing the battle clouded her mind. A slight sob escaped her throat when she thought about how Ash would react to her loss when they finally met face to face.

    Then the thought of Altaďr entered her brain, and the image of him looking at her with his impassive, yet deadly look probed her, sending chills down her spine. But she also felt herself blush while looking at him.

    “I… I still don’t know who my feelings are for yet… but if I do terribly in this battle… neither one of them would be interested…”

    For the first time since she discovered Drew cheating on her, she felt truly alone. There was nobody that could console her at this time, for she could not reveal the feelings she had.

    “I don’t know who…”

    --------------------

    Altaďr sat lazily on his stool while he ordered up another drink. He could feel the strange feeling he always felt before a mission, no matter how small the mission was. The feeling was mostly just a slight tingly feeling in his chest, but it was enough to be noticeable. Some may identify it as anxiety or nervousness, but Altaďr knew that was not what he felt, since he was already used to the activities his side-job included. The feeling the teenaged boy always got was something even he could not comprehend.

    But the feeling was unimportant, for the time was 5:45 pm. There was still one battle before Altaďr’s battle, so he knew he would not be able to make it since he planned his exit at 5:50, giving him enough time to walk to his destination and perform his job. He would just forfeit the match to May, since the contest really had no significance to him; it was just a little fun game he wanted to play while he passed the time. But now, it was time to get serious.

    Altaďr took the last gulp of his drink before turning around on the stool and standing up. He checked the time on one of the flat screens before deciding he should head out a bit earlier. The trainer grabbed his belongings from the floor and began making his way for the door before the PA system sounded.

    “Caleb has forfeited the upcoming battle, so Janine wins the match by default. Altaďr and May, please report to the stage entrance for the final match of the day.”

    The tingly feeling in Altaďr’s chest left him as he heard the announcement. Another strange thing about the feeling was that it only occurred before a mission when he was reviewing it; never before, during, or after that time. The thought of the upcoming contest battle intrigued him slightly, as he had never bee in one before, though he figured nothing would really be different. He checked the time again, which showed 5:47. If he hurried with the battle, then made haste for his target, he should be able to make it on time. Besides, Altaďr could use a small warm-up before the events of the coming evening.

    --------------------

    “Caleb has forfeited the upcoming battle, so Janine wins the match by default. Altaďr and May please report to the stage entrance for the final battle.”

    May snapped to a standing position from here seat on the couch. For the past few hours, the brunette had just been sitting in the same spot since her angst took over her mind.

    “It’s time…”

    May grudgingly moved here stiff legs and made her way for the stage entrance, feeling as though she was walking to her grave.

    When the stage doors were in view, she saw the tall figure of a familiar trainer standing with his back leaning on the wall, staring at an upwards angle at seemingly nothing. May felt her nerves tense up as she approached the boy she had found an attraction in but also feared. Altaďr eventually looked down and saw May advancing towards him, but made no reaction to her presence, instead he simply stared into her eyes for a good second before he broke the eye contact.

    The stage doors then opened up, allowing Altaďr and May to enter the stage to battle. Altaďr got up from his position on the wall and briskly walked through the door and into the short hall that linked the stadium. May hesitated in front of the doors momentarily until her legs began to automatically walk through the door, taking her into the stadium as well.

    Once May and Altaďr had taken their positions on the opposite ends of the battlefield, MC Brian made his usual introductory speech for the audience.

    “And now, we have our final battle for the day! This match will be between May, the Hoenn-native coordinator who has obtained many notable achievements through her career, and Altaďr, the darkhorse trainer that has proven himself worthy during the appeal rounds. The winner of this match will advance to the final rounds tomorrow, so do your best! Now, select your Pokémon to begin the battle!”

    May, not having much knowledge about what Pokémon Altaďr owned besides Glaceon and Leafeon had to make her Pokémon choices on the spot.

    “Blaziken, Eevee, show time!” May said as she performed a graceful spin and sent out two Pokéballs.

    One ball exploded in a burst of flames while the other in a rainbow as May’s Blaze and Evolution Pokémon emerged from the dazzling displays, announcing their names as they appeared.

    May figured that since Altaďr’s only known Pokémon were of Ice and Grass types, she deduced that Blaziken with her fire attacks would be a great choice. Eevee and her tricky fighting style would prove to be useful against any opponent as well.

    Silently, Altaďr brought his right hand to his backpack strap that ran across his chest, which had his six differently colored Pokéballs attached to it, and held it there while he made his decision on who he would use. After a few moments, he quickly fingered for the black and yellow Pokéballs, detached them, and pitched them into the battlefield. The two balls opened up with plain bursts of white light and revealed two of his Eevee-evolutions.

    “And in the red box, May has chosen Blaziken and Eevee, while Altaďr in the green box has chosen Umbreon and Jolteon. This will definitely prove to be an interesting battle!” commentated MC Brian.

    The bell sounded and the battle began.

    --------------------

    “Oh man, this doesn’t look good…” said Brock while feeding Happiny a bottle. “And I’m saying that even though we’ve never seen any of Altaďr’s Pokémon other than Glaceon and Leafeon in action.”

    “Pika Pikachu…” cooed Pikachu as his ears drooped.

    Ash however, had differing thoughts on his mind.

    “Come on guys, don’t think like that!” Ash snapped, surprising his two companions and the baby Pokémon. All three of them blankly stared at the slightly seething trainer.

    After the initial stun of the outburst, Brock was able to respond back with his logic.

    “But… Ash, you fought Altaďr… so you know full well of the magnitude of his abilities,” said Brock, though more carefully in fear of causing Ash to erupt again.

    “It doesn’t matter, it’s not all about strength and speed when it comes to battles!” countered Ash. He clenched his fist as he looked down, hat partially covering his face. “I may have lost to him, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to beat him. I’ve been defeated by Gary many times before, but during the Silver Conference, I was able to pull through and defeat him when it mattered the most.” Then the trainer shot his fist into the air and looked towards the battlefield and at May.

    “I believe in May, and I believe that she can beat Altaďr, because I know she has the ability and determination to… and also because she’s my friend.”

    Brock was shocked once again, but this time at Ash’s ability to make such a mature conjecture. He then smiled at his young companion and placed a hand on his shoulder.

    “You’re right Ash. Even if Altaďr seems undefeatable, it doesn’t mean I should stop supporting a friend and think of the worst. I’m sorry for thinking like that; some friend I am, huh?”

    Ash looked up as he felt Brock’s hand and smiled back. “It’s nothing to be sorry about; you were just being good ‘ol Brock!”

    “Pikachu Pi!” chimed in the Electric-Mouse Pokémon happily.

    “And May has called out the first attack, ordering her Blaziken to dive in for a Close Combat attack! A risky move to use this early in the battle!”

    This announcement snapped Ash, Brock, and Pikachu back into watching the battle that May was now fighting.

    Blaziken began running speedily towards Umbreon and Jolteon, who both stood motionless in the positions they had been first released from their Pokéballs. Altaďr stood still as well with his body and legs completely straight instead of in a battle pose.

    As Blaziken came within range, she made a great leap and was soon high in the air above, readying to come back down and engage in fierce hand-to-hand combat with the two Eevee-evolutions. But as soon as Blaziken reached the peak of her jump, Umbreon and Jolteon both sped away in opposite directions out of the area Blaziken was jumping into.

    “And it looks like Altaďr’s Pokémon are finally taking part of the action, though Altaďr has given no order to his Umbreon or Jolteon! What could this silent trainer be up to?”

    Blaziken landed on the ground and looked around quickly to see where he two opponents were, only to receive a hard white tail to her face.

    “Using Close-Combat had made Blaziken open to an attack, which Umbreon was able to exploit and use an Iron Tail, or so it looks to be, on May’s Blaziken. Again, Altaďr gave no order for the attack, so what the attack really was is currently unknown to me.” May’s points decreased a small amount at that.

    “Eevee, use Shadow Ball on Umbreon, now!” yelled May, whose voice was projected into the stadium by the large speakers attached to the large widescreens stationed at the top.

    From Ash, Brock, and Pikachu’s point of view, they could see the small figure of Eevee summoning a ball of black matter in front of her. However, when Eevee had completed the task, she was abruptly interrupted by a flash of yellow that collided with her, stopping the attack from being launched. Eevee was sent flying as Jolteon materialized from the yellow blur and readied his stance for another attack. May’s points took a hit once again.

    “This isn’t looking good for May…” Brock said warily.

    “C’mon May, I know you can find a way,” Ash whispered quietly to himself.

    May could only watch as her points went down and her Pokémon fall down from Umbreon and Jolteon’s attacks. She had thought that Altaďr was a strong trainer, but she never imagined that his Pokémon had this much capability. What jarred her most though, was that Altaďr had not spoken a single word to his Pokémon, yet they were staging a full assault.

    The coordinator could only cringe as she saw Jolteon smash into Eevee again with another lightning-speed attack, then disappearing into a yellow blur once more. Something had to be done before either her Pokémon were knocked out or all her points were lost.

    “Blaziken, help out Eevee before it’s too late!” May said somewhat desperately.

    Blaziken grunted in acknowledgement and began to run to where Eevee was to aid her, but Altaďr’s Pokémon were not about to let that happen.

    “Umbre!” cried a voice from behind Blaziken, causing her to turn around and see Umbreon running towards her. Blaziken knew that she would have to defend herself if she didn’t want another Iron Tail to the back of her skull, so she abandoned the order that May gave her and struck a fighting stance.

    “Blaziken, no! You have to help out Eevee, or else neither of you are going to end up well!”

    But Blaziken was unable to respond to her trainer’s command as Umbreon had now jumped off the ground and was flying through the air to reach the Blaze Pokémon. When Umbreon was only several meters away, he threw himself into a series of somersaults, making him seem like a rolling wheel, and continued to approach Blaziken. Blaziken, unfamiliar with such a move, was caught off guard and had no idea on what to do without May’s guidance, so thus she was caught completely by surprise when a glowing white tail stuck out from the curled up form of Umbreon and struck her in the skull once again, knocking her to the ground.

    “Blaziken, please, trust me! You and Eevee have to use teamwork in order to stand a chance!”

    The obscure form of Jolteon struck Eevee with another attack with his body and sent the Evolution-Pokémon tumbling next to Blaziken. The battle had only been going on for just over a minute and May’s points were just above the halfway point.

    “Hmm…” Brock hummed.

    “What is it?” questioned his companion.

    “Pika?”

    “I think I’m starting to notice something with Altaďr’s Pokémon.” Brock brought a hand up to his chin.

    “Huh? What’s that?”

    “I-… never mind right now, I need to see more of the battle to be certain.”

    “Oh…” was all Ash could say back. “Come on May, I know you must have something you can do…”

    “Well folks, from the looks of things, this battle has turned into a very one-sided match. It seems like May’s Pokémon are no match for Altaďr’s, and now May’s points are teetering just above the halfway point. Will May be able to pull off a comeback at this point? There’s still much time on the clock, so a lot can change in that time!”

    Eevee and Blaziken both got up from the ground slowly, groaning as they felt the pains of their wounds. They stood back to back in the very center of the battlefield, facing Jolteon and Umbreon who stood facing the center at opposite ends.

    “Eevee, Blaziken, you have to listen to me! You remember all those times in Johto when it seemed like all was lost right? Well, we were able to pull together with teamwork and fight back, sometimes even winning the match! All I ask is that you two do that, and whatever the outcome of the match is, I’ll still be proud of you!”

    “Whoa, something’s changed in her…” thought Ash. He looked up at the widescreens and saw that the camera was now zoomed in on her. He noticed that her eyes had a familiar look in them, the look of intensity whenever she was in a battle, a look that he knew well and learned to love whenever he watched her in a contest. The strange feeling of whenever he thought about May returned to him as continued to stare at her sapphire eyes on the plasma screens.

    “Now, Eevee, use Dig! Blaziken, Lava Plume on the whole battlefield!” The coordinator’s eyes sparked with vigor as she found a confidence in herself that she thought she had lost long ago.

    “Even if I lose, it won’t matter, as long as I do my best… for Ash.”

    “Jolt.”

    “Bre.”

    Altaďr’s two Pokémon nodded at each other and began to run in a circle around May’s pinned Pokémon, Jolteon at a slower speed to stay in rhythm with Umbreon.

    Eevee immediately dug a hole under Blaziken’s feet and was soon underground, without anybody knowing where she would pop up next.

    Blaziken, who stayed aboveground, waited for Eevee to disappear from sight before attacking.

    “Blazeeeeeeee,” chanted the Blaze Pokémon as flames engulfed her body.

    Jolteon and Umbreon continued running in circles awaiting the attack that was soon to come.

    “KENNNN!” roared Blaziken. The fire around her body was projected outwards in a circular wave and began expanding radially.

    Umbreon and Jolteon moved away from the wall of fire while still maintaining their circular path until they were running on the sidelines.

    The flames continued to extend outwards towards Altaďr’s Pokémon but as the wall of fire was almost touching them, they both jumped high into the air and over the flames. They were now on the inside of the circle of fire and began running towards Blaziken, who was now defenseless in the center against two Pokémon.

    “Blaziken, Flamethrower into the hole!”

    “Blaziken!” said her Pokémon as she opened her mouth and shot a stream of flames downwards into the hole beneath her feet.

    “What’s this?” said Brock with excitement rising in his voice.

    “I think I know what’s coming,” grinned Ash.

    Pillars of fire then shot out of the ground at random points on the field, surprising both Umbreon and Jolteon, who now had to dodge them in order to get to Blaziken. However, more pillars continued to shoot up as Eevee continued to dig holes while Blaziken kept firing her Flamethrower attack into it.

    “What an amazing move by May, who now has Altaďr’s Pokémon dodging blindly in order to avoid being burned to a crisp!” Altaďr’s points went down for the first time in the match.

    “Jolt Jolt!” barked out Jolteon as he began to enter his maximum speed and into a yellow blur.

    “Umbreon!” said Umbreon in response. Umbreon then began making his way towards Blaziken, who was still too concentrated on shooting the flames down into the hole to notice him approaching. Umbreon then jumped into the air and came down hard on Blaziken’s back with his head, causing Blaziken to cease her firing and reel backwards in pain.

    A yellow flash then appeared and brushed against Blaziken, leaving behind what looked to be yellow needles in her feathers. The flash appeared three more times in less than a second, leaving behind more yellow needles.

    “Ah! What’s going on?” cried May in confusion. But her question went unanswered as Umbreon slammed into Blaziken’s back with his skull once again, causing the Blaze Pokémon to fall forward and the needles to dig farther into her body.

    “Even with that unorthodox tactic, Altaďr’s Pokémon are still able to dodge and counter it,” Brock said gravely.

    Ash could only growl softly at the trainer that was pummeling May’s Pokémon below.

    “Eevee, come out and defend Blaziken with Shadow Ball!”

    Eevee emerged from a new hole next to Blaziken and shot out a Shadow Ball at Umbreon, who had just landed on the ground. It looked like the attack would connect, but even though Umbreon had just grazed the ground, he was still able to perform a back flip and dodge the attack which caused a small crater in the ground.

    “Things are starting to get dim for May as her points continue to decline!” announced MC Brian. May looked up at the scoreboard and saw that her points were now around one-third while Altaďr still looked to have about 90% of his. She felt her stomach sink as she saw that there was only two minutes to go; she was running out of time and options.

    Suddenly, Blaziken, who was on her knees breathing heavily, began to glow with a fiery veil, but this time it was not due to Lava Plume.

    “Yes! Blaziken’s Blaze ability is finally coming into effect!” cheered Ash.

    “Pika Pikachu Pi!” cheered Pikachu as well.

    Blaziken continued to glow and the flames on her wrists grew larger as the effect continued until it was in full effect, which then the glow vanished and Blaziken got up from her knees, ready for more to come.

    Jolteon then exited his hyperspeed and appeared next to Umbreon, both staring at Blaziken and Eevee, who were side to side. The clock ticked down to one and a half minutes as the standoff continued, neither side making a single move.

    “If May doesn’t make a move soon, the time will run out and she’ll lose the match!” Ash was now sitting at the edge of his seat. “COME ON MAY, YOU CAN DO THIS!” He yelled as loud as he could with the roaring crowd.

    May turned her head upwards as she thought she heard someone call her name, but dismissed it and told herself she must have been hearing things. She needed all the focus she could get to end this battle on good terms.

    “Alright, we have enough time to pull off one more attack. Eevee, use Quick Attack!”

    “Eevee!” cried the small Pokémon as she went into a sprint, heading towards Jolteon and Umbreon who stood their ground.

    “And it looks like this will be May’s last ditch effort in order to try to pull this battle back together. An anticlimactic way to end an exciting battle,” announced MC Brian.

    “This… this can’t really be the way the battle is going to end, is it?” thought Ash.

    Eevee continued to speed across the field without hesitation, putting her full trust in her trainer’s decision. She was only a couple of meters away from the opposing Pokémon when…

    “Eevee, Baton Pass, now!”

    Both Umbreon and Jolteon’s ears perked up as, in a matter of a second, the small Eevee in front of them had disappeared with a pop and was instantly replaced with a large Blaziken with two glowing fists. In the mere meters that remained, the two Pokémon were caught off guard and were unable to respond, allowing Blaziken to Sky Uppercut both of them at the same time.

    Both Pokémon cried out in pain as they were sent flying upwards, while Altaďr himself seemed to be bent forward with his hands on his stomach for some reason.

    “YES!” shouted Ash.

    “PIKA!”

    “It looks like May finally found a flaw in Altaďr’s Pokémon,” said Brock proudly.

    “Huh, what’s that?” questioned Ash after he had finished cheering.

    “Altaďr said his Pokémon learn how to battle through their experience from other battles right?” Ash nodded. “So that means his Pokémon can only predict attacks that are used standardly by other Pokémon. When unorthodox methods are used, his Pokémon are unable to react as quickly since they have never combated such techniques. And since Altaďr gives no orders, the Pokémon only have their instincts to rely on, which can sometimes be too slow in surprising situations.

    “Ah, that makes sense!” Ash said.

    “Yes, and his Pokémon also have another weakness, and that’s their overconfidence.

    Ash chuckled as Brock made that statement. “Well, that happens to everybody, especially me sometimes.”

    After the hit, Umbreon and Jolteon both stayed airborne for several more seconds before gravity took control and brought them crashing back into the ground. However, even after taking the powerful hit, they were still able to manage to get back onto their feet without too much difficulty, due to the fact that it was the first time they had taken damage in the battle.

    Altaďr however, was now on his knees with his hands clutching his chest and stomach, but his face could not be viewed by May or any of the spectators. The people that noticed his strange behavior began shooting questions amongst each other.

    “And what a brilliant move on May’s part, using Baton Pass to quickly switch her two Pokémon around, allowing Blaziken to deliver a powerful blow to Jolteon and Umbreon! However, Jolteon and Umbreon seem to still be in healthy condition, and a single blow is not enough to take down Altaďr’s points. With less than a minute to go, it seems like winning is now impossible for May.”

    “Jolteon, Umbreon, return!”

    Everybody in the stadium went quiet when the order was given. Two red beams shot out of the Pokéballs on Altaďr’s chest and took his two Pokémon back into their respective balls. Altaďr was now standing up again, though he was slightly hunched over due to whatever was bothering him.

    “What’s this? It looks like Altaďr’s now forfeiting the match!” announced MC Brian with bewilderment. Ash, Brock, Pikachu, and the rest of the spectators could only watch with jaws dropped as the trainer who was dominating the battle was now resigning.

    “What’s going on?” shouted May from across the field, feeling her face and body become flushed. “Why are you forfeiting?”

    “I have to go,” said Altaďr in a soft, calm, tone, though his voice was still somehow heard clearly by May.

    At that, he turned around and began walking off the stage. The entire stadium was now deathly silent as the mysterious boy made his way down the stairs and towards the stage doors.

    May, who now had a flurry of thoughts and emotions running through her, stood with an astonished look on her face, and wondered what in the world had just happened. She then dropped to her knees and stared blankly at the teenaged boy’s back.

    --------------------

    “What the hell was that feeling… that feeling when they were hit?”

    “Why did it… hurt, why did I feel I was hit by a car?”

    “Ugh, no matter, I have a job to do, and I’m gonna have to make some haste now.”

    “I’ll figure it out later.”


    --------------------

    Afterthought


    No hints or spoilers for you readers. =P

    Things will slowly be revealed at the story’s pacing. That’s just how I roll.

    Threw in some alliteration into the chapter title. It sort of chronologically tells the events of the chapter.

    Longest chapter I’ve written in a while.
    Last edited by cichawk; 13th March 2008 at 11:37 PM.

  13. #138
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    I don't think I've ever given a review to this story so I thought it's about damn time

    First of all, awesome battle. You really managed to make this contest battle seem as it's supposed to be, namely the usage and showcasing of the pokémons attacks and abilities. Kudos to the very original attack-combinations.

    Also, I'm really starting to like your OC. At first I seemed as if he was the typical unbeatable and quiet trainer but I see you have somethings about him you have yet to tell us and I'm intrigued to know more.

    All in all, great story. I'd love to be on a pm list if you have one.
    Last edited by Pors; 6th March 2008 at 6:20 PM.
    National dex 477/493
    Still looking for: Magmarizer/Magmortar, Reaper Cloth, Porygon-Z/Dubious Disc
    Things for trade: Zapdos, Groudon, Kyogre, Rayquaza, the Regi's, all starters, most breedable pokes and so on...

    FC: 0860 0211 8494

  14. #139
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    Alright, it's good to see another chapter here.

    Quote Originally Posted by cichawk
    It seems like Altaďr’s Pokémon are no match for May’s,
    I think it would be "It seems like May's Pokemon are no match for Altair's"

    “What the hell was that feeling… that feeling when they were hit?”

    “Why did it… hurt, why did I feel I was hit by a car?”

    “Ugh, no matter, I have a job to do, and I’m gonna have to make some haste now.”

    “I’ll figure it out later.”
    Hm, seems like some sort of a connection.
    What is it based on I wonder, and how did it formulate?

    Apart from that anyway, this was another battle chapter, and was kinda nice. We finally saw Altiar's weakness - I guess he'll have to work on that somehow. You did well with handling the descriptions and all.

    I really don't have much else to say until the plot progresses, so I guess May's now going to proceed to the next day.
    Oh, and since this was the last battle of the day, maybe Ash and May finally meet too.

    Good job, and good luck with the next chapter.

  15. #140
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    Wink

    I shall be picky about grammar first, and then give a review. Mwahaha.

    “Altaďr said his Pokémon learn how to battle through their experience from other battles right?” Ash nodded. “So that means his Pokémon can only predict attacks that are used standardly by other Pokémon. When unorthodox methods are used, his Pokémon are unable to react as quickly since they have never combated such techniques. And since Altaďr gives no orders, the Pokémon only have their instincts to rely on, which can sometimes be too slow in surprising situations.

    “Ah, that makes sense!” Ash said.

    “Yes, and his Pokémon also have another weakness, and that’s their overconfidence.
    Brock lost two end quotations here.

    while Altaďr himself seemed to be bent forward with his hands on his stomach for some reason.
    Reminds me of the Battle in the Viridian Gym against Team Rocket in the anime, and "After Hoenn" by PowerShot.

    “No, no more crying. I’m past all that now… All the contests, Ash, Drew, that’s made me stronger now. I can handle feelings like this now…”
    She sounds like she's trying to depart from reality. If you've used the bathroom before, you'll eventually end up using it again, and in the same way. It's just part of being human, those emotions. They'll happen sometimes. For some reason, that quote made me think of Anakin Skywalker.

    A slight sob escaped her throat when she thought about how Ash would react to her loss when they finally met face to face.
    Obviously, she doesn't remember Ash.

    For the first time since she discovered Drew cheating on her
    As I suspected...

    He could feel the strange feeling he always felt before a mission, no matter how small the mission was. The feeling was mostly just a slight tingly feeling in his chest, but it was enough to be noticeable. Some may identify it as anxiety or nervousness, but Altaďr knew that was not what he felt, since he was already used to the activities his side-job included.
    Uh... Interesting.

    For the past few hours, the brunette had just been sitting in the same spot since her angst took over her mind.
    Angst. No Kidding, if she spent hours just SITTING.


    So, aside from the feelings of May and the VGE (Viridian Gym Effect) of Altair,
    This was a fairly straightforward chapter.

    Your contest and battle scenes never fail to amaze me, though. You have so much ability there.

    As for my reason for the late (and somewhat short) reply:
    Serebii servers. That about sums it up. I've officially started to save every reply I begin to write, that's how bad it is on my internet connection. Having to write a reply several times gets pretty old, yeah?

  16. #141
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    Wow, a lot of mistakes today, cichawk.

    and May’s points were juts above the halfway point.
    Stupid AutoCorrect.

    “Well folks, from the looks of things, this battle has turned into a very one-sided match. It seems like Altaďr’s Pokémon are no match for May’s,
    Really? I don't think so.

    they were still able to manage to get back onto their feet without too much difficulty, due to the fact that it
    Missed a comma.

    Both Umbreon and Jolteon’s ears perked up as, in a matter of a second, the
    Missed another comma.

    Eevee immediately dug a hole under Blaziken’s feet and was soon underground, without anybody knowing where she would pop up next.
    Missed a third one.

    “KENNNN,” roared Blaziken.
    Not gramatically incorrect, but an exclamation mark would probably be more appropriate.

    However, even taking the powerful hit,
    Uh, even after?

  17. #142
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    Hmm, it would appear Altair has got some sort of psychic link thingy with his pokemon... weird...

  18. #143
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    Time to finally get up and reply to some reviews.

    Pors

    Ah, a new reader; welcome! Well, from what you said, you're not exactly new, you just never reviewed before. But welcome anyway.

    First of all, awesome battle. You really managed to make this contest battle seem as it's supposed to be, namely the usage and showcasing of the pokémons attacks and abilities. Kudos to the very original attack-combinations.
    I do think I did end up making the battle more like a normal battle instead of a contest battle, but I guess that just comes with Altair and how he (or rather his Pokemon) fights. Glad to see you enjoyed it though.

    Also, I'm really starting to like your OC. At first I seemed as if he was the typical unbeatable and quiet trainer but I see you have somethings about him you have yet to tell us and I'm intrigued to know more.
    Heh, yeah I did get somewhat of the same feedback from another reader/reviewer. However, Altair does have many flaws, more of which will be showcased in the future. As of now, one can clearly see that...

    I'll just do a small spoiler.

        Spoiler:- Altair's Flaws:


    All in all, great story. I'd love to be on a pm list if you have one.
    Will do.

    Earthborn

    I think it would be "It seems like May's Pokemon are no match for Altair's"
    Thanks for capturing that rather large mistake.

    Hm, seems like some sort of a connection.
    What is it based on I wonder, and how did it formulate?
    All the more incentive to read. =P

    Apart from that anyway, this was another battle chapter, and was kinda nice. We finally saw Altiar's weakness - I guess he'll have to work on that somehow. You did well with handling the descriptions and all.
    His weakness was explained more in depth from my point of view, so look through that spoiler above if you like. And also, that's not the only weakness he's got.

    I really don't have much else to say until the plot progresses, so I guess May's now going to proceed to the next day.
    Oh, and since this was the last battle of the day, maybe Ash and May finally meet too.
    Oh, there will be some surprises.

    Lord Zant

    Brock lost two end quotations here.
    NO NOT AGAIN!

    Reminds me of the Battle in the Viridian Gym against Team Rocket in the anime, and "After Hoenn" by PowerShot.
    Ah, After Hoenn, a great fic. One of the "Big Three" fics that inspired me.

    She sounds like she's trying to depart from reality. If you've used the bathroom before, you'll eventually end up using it again, and in the same way. It's just part of being human, those emotions. They'll happen sometimes. For some reason, that quote made me think of Anakin Skywalker.
    Well, given her status over the past few weeks, a vacation from reality would be nice for her. Too bad we're stuck in reality.

    It was a sort of attempt by me to make her seem "stronger," since she really is quite a mess right now. Not sure how effective it was though.

    Obviously, she doesn't remember Ash.
    It's been a while I guess.

    Angst. No Kidding, if she spent hours just SITTING.
    Haha, angst, a word that I began to put into great usage in my daily speech whenever I'm stressed or whatever. My friend knows all about that.

    So, aside from the feelings of May and the VGE (Viridian Gym Effect) of Altair,
    This was a fairly straightforward chapter.
    Yup, contest stuff is all I've been writing lately. However, a change is soon to come.

    Your contest and battle scenes never fail to amaze me, though. You have so much ability there.
    I think a great influence to me in writing my battles is the way I can imagine war and fighting in my brain. Sure, war is not the same as Pokemon battles, but it allows me to pinpoint exactly where things are and exactly how they move, react, and fight. Plus I read up on specific Pokemon on Bulbapedia, which gives me some nice information about them that I can work with. Did you know Glaceon's fur is sharp, like Jolteon's? It's not visually obvious.

    As for my reason for the late (and somewhat short) reply:
    Serebii servers. That about sums it up. I've officially started to save every reply I begin to write, that's how bad it is on my internet connection. Having to write a reply several times gets pretty old, yeah?
    Heh, well if I notice that when I click the Submit Reply button, and the page barely reacts, I just copy everything I wrote and save it onto a Notepad. Even if it goes to the Cannot Connect page, I can still click back and copy and paste it.

    swampert55

    Wow, a lot of mistakes today, cichawk.
    I'm sorry. =(

    Really? I don't think so.
    Thanks to you, as well, for locating that error, like Earthborn did.

    Seems like I missed a lot of commas this time... I never was good with commas, since I never bothered remembering every rule.

    I should probably read my work slower to catch these mistakes next time.

    Ariel_Anderson

    Hmm, it would appear Altair has got some sort of psychic link thingy with his pokemon... weird...
    Hmm, given the hints I gave before, take a shot at what that's all about. (Same for the rest of you if you're up to it)

    So anyway, right after Chapter 18, I wrote a good amount of Chapter 19, then stopped. Track also began for me, so that's a big energy drainer. I think I can get a good amount, if not finish 19 tonight though.

  19. #144
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    Be sure to check the last post for review-replies and some interesting misc. info.

    Foreword

    Well, huge plot surge here. Also, slight character altercations, though slight may be an understatement. But really, I doubt the characters have ever been faced with such a situation in the animé, so I feel that I have the right to make them act however I want. =P

    Besides, this ain’t your ordinary day in the Pokémon world and its inhabitants.

    -----------------

    Chapter 19 – Polarity Check


    “This bed is sooooo soft!” squealed Dawn as she jumped onto one of two queen-sized beds of her hotel room. Dawn’s four Pokémon said their names in unison as they all scrambled onto the unoccupied bed, Piplup, Pachirisu, and Buneary all bouncing up and down while Buizel claimed a pillow as his own.

    “Hey, what’s this?” questioned the blue-haired girl as she spotted a small pamphlet lying on the desk in the corner of the room. All of her Pokémon turned their attention to their trainer and watched as she picked up the piece of paper.

    The pamphlet contained information about the Lightcrown Plaza and the various services, activities, and miscellaneous, that the hotel hosted. Dawn was about to put down the pamphlet until she noticed something stapled to the back. Ripping the second sheet off, she saw that it was specifically for the coordinators currently residing in the complementary hotel rooms. Piplup jumped onto her shoulder as she read through the few cursive styled words on the pamphlet. It was mostly general information about the hotel with endorsements and advertisements by businesses that sponsored the event, but reaching the middle, the words there caught her eye.

    Tonight at 7:30 pm, there will be an informal dance, celebrating the conclusion of the first night of the contest, in the ballroom. Come and bring your friends to enjoy dancing and music. Attire is informal.


    “Oh wow, a dance! That sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it guys?”

    Her Pokémon excluding Buizel happily chimed in unison. Buizel was making himself cozy after a long day of battling.

    Dawn looked at the clock on the nightstand between the beds and saw that the time was 6:30.

    “Well, I’d better get out of this dress and take a shower before Ash and Brock get here.” Dawn had earlier called Ash’s PokéNav, which was when they arranged to meet at the hotel after Ash and Brock had eaten. Dawn also vaguely recalled something strange that happened during the conversation as well.

    “Now I wonder what that was again…” she said to herself. Piplup shrugged in response to her question.

    “Well, you guys behave, I’m going to go take that shower now and change,” Dawn said as she went over to her backpack and pulled out her normal clothes before heading into the bathroom.

    -------------------

    Inside the bathroom, Dawn took off her beanie and set it on the bathroom counter as she looked at herself in the large mirror that took up the whole top half of the wall.

    She gave a deep sigh and shut her eyes. “Wow, what a day.”

    The young girl began slowly recalling the events of the day, starting with the beginning, when she felt more nervous than she had ever felt before. Then she thought of hers, May’s, and Altaďr’s appeals, remembering how astonished she was by Altaďr’s and May’s, and feeling that hers could not compare. Then the memory of the announcement for the double battles came, as well as how she defeated Geoffrey despite her large disadvantage. After her battle, she spent a majority of the time alone, as May had seemed to become agitated with her presence, so Dawn decided to converse with some other coordinators and watch some of the ongoing battles, but still kept a close eye on May since she seemed miserable. Eventually, Altaďr and May’s final battle came, and she watched the trainer and the coordinator step out into the stadium, where she then saw them on the flat screens inside the staging area.

    Dawn held her breath through the duration of their battle, but was as surprised as anybody else when Altaďr surrendered his certain victory to May, and walked off the stage. She also saw a couple shots of Altaďr bent over on the ground, which puzzled her. When Altaďr had gone off screen, he came into the staging room where all the coordinators stared at him, but he was easily able to ignore their stares and head out of the room into the main interior of the stadium without giving anybody time to say anything to him.

    “I really wonder where he went…”
    pondered Dawn. “He seemed to be in a bit of a hurry, and I haven’t seen him since then. Hehe, it kind of makes him mysterious.” The girl giggled as she thought of Altaďr being some sort of secret agent on an important mission, falling in love with her at the same time he was on the mission.

    After her short fantasy, Dawn continued to gradually remember the events of the day as she turned on the shower so it would be warm when she got in. There wasn’t much else that happened after Altaďr had vanished, besides May returning to the quite staging room after he had. May seemed to be shaken up more than anybody else, but when Dawn approached her and began talking to her, the brunette seemed to return to her normal, friendly self, and apologized for her abnormal behavior earlier.

    Together, the two coordinators exited the stadium at the conclusion of the first day of the contest. During the trek was when Dawn remembered that she contacted Ash with her PokéNav and arranged a time to meet up. She also mentioned that May was right next to her and that May also lived on the same floor as she. However, Dawn didn’t notice May’s behavior during her conversation with Ash, which consisted mainly of heavy blushing and nervous gestures. Before Dawn could even pursue the topic of meeting with May, Ash began to stutter and hung up abruptly without warning.

    “Now that really was weird,” Dawn said to herself in the mirror. “Sometimes I don’t quite understand that boy.” The blue-haired girl giggled as she thought about Ash’s past silly ventures.

    “Well, shower time,” Dawn announced as she began undressing.

    ------------------

    “What a day…” sighed May as she plopped herself down on the bed. Unlike Dawn, however, May decided against releasing her Pokémon, since Blaziken was a rather large figure to fit in the room, and having a total of six small to large sized Pokémon inside the room at the same time would be a crowd.

    “Well, I finally get a chance to relax, after all that contest excitement.” But relaxing was proving to be difficult for the brunette as the stress she manifested throughout the day turned on and off in her mind.

    “I think I really need to loosen up a bit right now, maybe take a short nap.” May turned her head to the right and glanced at the digital clock sitting atop the nightstand between the two beds, which showed 6:30 on the dot.

    “Well, first, I could use a nice hot shower… that should help me relax a bit.”

    May went over to her fanny pack that she had placed at the foot of her bed and opened it up to extract her usual clothes. She then walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

    As May entered the large and luxurious bathroom, thoughts began to wander through her head as she began to work on getting her dress undone.

    “I wonder why Ash hung up when I was mentioned over the PokéNav when Dawn called him,” she thought, feeling slightly hurt at the same time. “Maybe… maybe…”

    May then stopped fidgeting with her dress and looked into her own image in the mirror.

    “Have I let myself go?” the coordinator then mentally slapped herself. “Why the heck did I think that?! Ash wouldn’t not talk to me because of how I look.”

    She then started playing with her hair and continued looking at herself in the large mirror. “Maybe… maybe he just doesn’t see the need to talk to me.”

    “Or maybe he doesn’t consider me that close of a friend anymore.”

    “Or maybe he doesn’t really consider me his friend anymore.”


    May shook her head violently, her hair flailing about as she did so, and mentally slapped herself again.

    “Knock it out, May! Now you’re just overreacting. Ash probably just wants to talk to me in person, instead of just over the PokéNav. Yeah, that’s it!”

    Feeling encouraged May began to get ready to take her shower.

    --------------------

    It was dinnertime, and Ash and Brock were gorging tacos at the counter of a Mexican fast food stand that was open on the street. Pikachu, on the other hand, was sad to see that the joint had no ketchup, but quickly found a new love for hot sauce, even though it caused his tongue to burn up.

    “Hm, Brock, how come you never make tacos, or anything Mexican on our journey,” questioned Ash as he devoured another taco in a single bite.

    Brock took a bite out of his own taco before putting a hand up to his chin. “That’s a good question, Ash. Why don’t I make Mexican food?”

    “Well, maybe you should try it next time,” suggested the trainer with his mouth full.

    Brock simply chuckled at the younger teen’s silly appearance before handing him a napkin. “So, exciting day today, huh?”

    “Yeah, I had no idea Pokémon Contests that aren’t the Grand Festival could be that intense.”

    “Especially that last battle, between Altaďr and May,” continued the breeder.

    At the sound of the latter’s name, Ash choked on the bite of taco he had just taken, causing Brock to raise an eyebrow.

    “You all right there, Ash?”

    “Yeah, I’m fine,” responded Ash as he took a gulp of his soda. “So, yeah, that last battle was pretty awesome,” said Ash, faking enthusiasm, when in reality, he was sad to see that all of May’s efforts were in vain against the older trainer.

    “Well, I’m done,” announced Brock. “We should meet up with Dawn now, when you’re done of course.”

    “I’m done,” said Ash as he finished chewing his last bite and gulping down the last of his drink. “You done, Pikachu?”

    “Pika Pikapi!” chirped Pikachu cheerfully as he opened his last pack of hot sauce and finished it in one slurp.

    “Heh, that’s nasty, Pikachu.”

    -------------------

    Knock knock.

    “Oh, that must be Ash and Brock!”

    Dawn jumped off the bed where she was watching a recap of the contest from and scurried over to the door. She undid the lock near the top and swung the door open.

    “Oh! Hey, May!” Dawn said with surprise.

    “Uh, Hey… what are you up to?” the brunette, smiling politely, but with obvious hesitation.

    “I’m just getting ready for the dance tonight!” Dawn continued on cheerfully, not noticing May’s demeanor.

    May blinked. “Dance? What dance?”

    “You didn’t see the pamphlet on the desk?” questioned the blue-haired girl.

    “Nope. I was pretty tired, so I just decided to take a shower first, and change into my normal clothes.” May’s face brightened up then. “So there’s a dance, huh?”

    “Yup, 7:30. Hey, why don’t you hang out here with me until Ash and Brock get here! I was going to drag them there with me too, anyway.”

    “Uh… A-Ash?...” May said, stumbling over his name. “…And Brock?” she finished quickly, catching herself from making any obvious hints.

    “Yeah, they should be here any minute now, actually.” Dawn turned her head around to see the time showing 7:10 on the clock.

    “Oh, well… sure!” May felt her heart leap at the thought of finally seeing Ash. She then looked down at her body and instantly felt dissatisfied with her appearance. “Ugh, I’ll be right back, though. I have to fix myself up a bit… for the dance of course.”

    “Alrighty, see you soon!” Dawn closed the door behind May as she left.

    “I-I can’t believe it! Finally, I get to see Ash!”

    -------------------

    Knock knock.


    “Hm, must be Ash and Brock, since May just left.”


    Dawn tiptoed over to the door and opened it, revealing two male figures before her.

    “Hey Dawn,” greeted Brock and Ash.

    “Pika Pi Pikachu!”

    “Hey Ash, Brock, Pikachu,” said Dawn as she petted Pikachu, who was on Ash’s shoulder.

    “Chaaaa…”

    “So, what’cha been up to?” asked Brock as he and Ash both walked into the room.

    “Ohh, just watching highlights from the contest on TV,” Dawn said while pointing at the television set.

    “Speaking of the contest, you did great today, Dawn!” Ash flashed a big smile at the young coordinator.

    Dawn soon found herself feeling warm around the face as she looked into his dark brown eyes. “T-Thanks…” Everything earlier that day, the contest, Altaďr’s disappearance, the conversation she just had with May minutes ago, left her mind, and she passionately wanted to be with Ash downstairs on the dance floor. It was as if a foreign force possessed her mind.

    “Sooo,” Dawn began, drawing out her voice. “There’s a dance going on downstairs right now… how about we head down there right now.” Dawn’s voice became increasingly flirtatious as she took Ash’s right hand with her left.

    “Uh… well…” Ash’s mind drifted to May, and how he wanted to see her, and maybe even dance with her…

    But Dawn’s blue eyes and cute little smile captivated him for the time being, and he felt his resistance decrease.

    “Sure.”

    “Besides, I’m just dancing with Dawn, it doesn’t really mean anything. I still want to meet with… May. I’m sure she’ll be down there as well.”


    Ash allowed himself to be led by Dawn through the door, leaving a dumbfounded Brock and Pikachu behind, wondering what had just happened.

    -------------------

    May stepped out of the elevator as it opened its doors on the main floor. She looked around the grand lobby, searching for any signs leading to the ball room, where the ballroom was.

    The lobby itself was immense, housing many couches, tables, chairs, stands, all organized neatly around a giant fountain with a beautiful Milotic sculpture in the center, spraying water through an opening in its stone mouth.

    May admired the statue from a distance, remembering the different Milotic she had come across on her journey with Ash. The first was Robert’s Milotic, who was as coordinator that had won the first Hoenn Grand Festival May attended. The brunette then recalled the Milotic of Juan, the Sootopolis City Gym Leader, and Battle Pike Queen Lucy, the Frontier Brain of the Battle Pike. The Pokémon was truly beautiful and magnificent, and May had sometimes imagined herself capturing one and using it herself in a contest. However, there were no Milotic or Feebas in Johto, so May never had the option of searching for the Pokémon.

    Remembering why she was there in the first place, May pulled her eyes off the fountain statue and continued looking for the ballroom.

    “Huh, I wonder why Dawn would leave without me when she asked if I wanted to wait for Ash and Brock with her.”

    “Ash…”


    “Well, it’s probably nothing. She probably just got too excited for it and decided to head down herself. I wonder if Ash and Brock are with her.”

    “Ash…”

    “Oh, here’re some directions.”

    May had arrived to a couple of golden plates bolted onto the wall, giving names of specific rooms and other activity centers with arrows pointing in the direction where they were. She soon found the plate with “Ballroom” on it, with an arrow pointing across the lobby at a wide hall.

    “Should be right down there.”

    May made her way across the lobby and headed down the hallway. Soon, she spotted a hanging sign with “Ballroom” on it, pointing towards a huge pair of double doors that looked to be the entrance to a castle.

    “Here it is,” May said out loud.

    The brunette could hear loud music through the door, with a heavy bass causing the floor to quiver. Preparing herself for what was to come, May pushed the doors open and entered the ballroom.

    The room was nearly completely dark, save for a couple laser lights and strobe lights. The music was fairly loud, causing May to cringe slightly, but the large crowd inside didn’t seem to mind. Coordinators of the contest and their friends occupied the interior of the room, some sitting tables chatting and enjoying food and drink, while a majority of them were up and dancing in the center. A DJ could be spotted by May at the end of the room on a risen platform, making hand motions to the beat of the music, which at the moment, was a fast beat techno song.

    The inside was hot too, for the body heat of every person contributed to the stuffy atmosphere. May noticed the heat, but did her best to ignore it as she began to move through the fairly dense crowd. She walked around on her tiptoes in order to get as best a view as she could to spot Ash, Brock, Pikachu, or Dawn. Unable to do so because most of the people were taller than her, May gave up and began to wander around. As she did so, she began to notice how the people around her were “dancing”.

    It was really just a crazy mess of party Pokémon, with people jumping around colliding into one another, small circles of dancers around ravers, and grinders. The grinding grossed May out at first, but then the thought of doing such acts with certain boys came to her mind.

    “EW! NO! NONE OF THAT STUFF!”


    May made a face of disgust at the thought, belittling herself for thinking such ideas. The coordinator continued through the crowd, resuming her search for anybody that she knew.

    A hand then pulled on May’s shoulder, spinning her around so that she was face to face with an older coordinator, who was dancing suggestively in front of her.

    “Hey baby, you look like you’re a bit lost. How ‘bout you come and have some fun with big daddy o’er here?”

    “Uh, no thanks,” May responded, panicking slightly and backing off quickly. She left the vicinity in which the creep was at and eventually made her way out of the dancing crowd.

    “Wow,” the brunette breathed to herself. “I never knew dances are this crazy… and I haven’t even done any dancing!” May found a vacant table and seated herself on a chair. “I think I need to cool down a bit…”

    Minutes went by as May sat at the table alone. A few teenaged guys, all seeming to be older and slightly intoxicated, offered to take her into the dance floor to have some “fun”, but May politely refused all of them, which none of them seemed to care as they were in such a state of ecstasy.

    Finally, the loud rap song that was playing turned down, and the DJ began speaking.

    “So this is for all y’all that are couples out there, so hold each otha close, and let the music do ‘da rest.”

    Many of the people on the dance floor left the floor and sat at the surrounding tables, while others grabbed a partner for the slow dancing that was to come. May then felt a wave of depression as she thought how she could be out there dancing with Ash.

    Or Altaďr, but he wasn’t even around.

    “Man, I really wonder where they all went. Maybe… maybe they’re not even here, and they ditched me altogether!”

    A slow song than began playing, and the couples began swaying slowly to the music. May eyed the couples enviously, wishing that she could be up there.

    “Maybe… maybe they’re having fun without me somewhere else...”

    The song then moved on into the chorus, and the dancers continued their slow dancing.

    “Maybe they just don’t want me around…”

    But May then saw something that was worse than all of her thoughts put together. Through a few couples, May spotted a pair of familiar hats. One was a red hat with a familiar symbol, but blue in color, while the other was a white beanie with a pink symbol.

    The heads that the caps sat on belonged to two people that May was acquainted with. May could vaguely make out their faces in the dim lights of the room, but she could make them out nonetheless. She felt her jaw drop, and her heart flake.

    “No…”

    The couples around the two capped figures then moved away, fully revealing Ash and Dawn in each other’s arms, slow dancing with one another. May felt her soul plunge deeper than it ever felt before, but instead of tears, the brunette felt something inside her snap.

    “Fine!” she thought angrily. “If Ash wants to be with Dawn, then let him be! He’s caused me nothing but pain and misery over these past few days.”

    “But he hasn’t even done anything,”
    said a calmer voice in her head.

    “So? He’s still affecting me. He’s been acting like he doesn’t even care about me, and now I can see why.”


    “Are you sure about that? Are you sure you’re not just blowing things out of proportion? Maybe he’s just dancing with her to be nice. After all, she does seem like that type.”

    “I know what I see, and what I see is that Ash has the hots for Dawn.”


    “Why don’t you just ask him?”


    That silenced the angry voice in May’s head momentarily, but then, she noticed the door to the ballroom open, and Altaďr walked in.

    The angry voice then responded.”Well, if I can’t have Ash, at least I can get Altaďr.”

    The calm voice was dissipated at that, and May felt a strange force take her over, a force of raging emotions and feelings, ranging from anger, to jealously, and to hysteria.

    “And I know the quickest way to a man’s heart.”

    ------------------

    Afterthought


    O.o

  20. #145
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    New chapter, new review;

    Quote Originally Posted by cichawk
    The girl giggled as she thought of Altaďr being some sort of secret agent on an important mission, falling in love with her at the same time he was on the mission.
    Dawn has no idea does she?

    Quote Originally Posted by cichawk
    There wasn’t much else that happened after Altaďr had vanished, besides May returning to the quite staging room after he had.
    quiet

    “Knock it out, May! Now you’re just overreacting. Ash probably just wants to talk to me in person, instead of just over the PokéNav. Yeah, that’s it!”
    May's pretty much figured a bit of the situation out herself too, I suppose.

    Ash allowed himself to be led by Dawn through the door, leaving a dumbfounded Brock and Pikachu behind, wondering what had just happened.
    PEARL! (Not that I really mind Pearlshippyness, It's alright really...what? Don't stare at me like that!)
    A pretty much unlikely event indeed, although I vaguley remember some some 'dance' in Kanto...oops.

    Anyway, a little turn of events here. I wonder how Altiar got here though - does this mean that he has finished his mission? Maybe, but I think we're in for some misunderstandings.

    I was thinking that this would be a generic dance episode, but no, it's informal, and screams for inevitable conflicts...I can't wait to see how this will get resolved. Of course, if Drew somehow turns up (he is incorrigible), it'll lead to further complications .

    ---
    Last edited by EarthBorn; 15th March 2008 at 9:45 AM.

  21. #146
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    i just had started reading your shipping fic and this is one of my favorites. This last chapter is one of my favorites so keep up the good work. the only thing i really dont like is altier. he looks to perfect, i think you should give him a major personality flaw that would make dawn and may think again over him.

  22. #147
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    I regret to inform you that your proofreading skills have not improved. :D Anyway, very good chapter, though relatively short (I shouldn't be talking, my last chapter was only 1,627 words).

    I feel bad for Ash right now; he doesn't have any idea of what's going on.

    Feeling encouraged, May began to get ready to take her shower.
    You have to watch those commas.

    The first was Robert’s Milotic, who was as coordinator that had won the first Hoenn Grand Festival May attended.
    Try the coordinator.

    May had arrived to a couple of golden plates bolted onto the wall,
    Arrived at.

    Coordinators of the contest and their friends occupied the interior of the room, some sitting tables chatting and enjoying food and drink,
    You forgot the at.
    Last edited by swampert55; 15th March 2008 at 10:47 PM.

  23. #148
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    Earthborn

    Dawn has no idea does she?
    'Tis the dramatic irony. Hey, looks like those literary terms I've learned in English class has come to some use.

    May's pretty much figured a bit of the situation out herself too, I suppose.
    Heh, too bad the ending of the chapter had to be the way it was. Schizophrenic much?

    PEARL! (Not that I really mind Pearlshippyness, It's alright really...what? Don't stare at me like that!)
    I agree, Pearlshipping wouldn't be the end of the world if it ever occurred in canon (That is, if these kind of things could ever occur in canon).

    A pretty much unlikely event indeed, although I vaguley remember some some 'dance' in Kanto...oops.
    Dance in Kanto? What? o.O

    Anyway, a little turn of events here. I wonder how Altiar got here though - does this mean that he has finished his mission? Maybe, but I think we're in for some misunderstandings.
    Well, if you check a couple chapters back, the mission Altair received via PDA was a sort of impromptu mission. I don't want to say much else more than that in fear of spoiling anything.

    I was thinking that this would be a generic dance episode, but no, it's informal, and screams for inevitable conflicts...I can't wait to see how this will get resolved. Of course, if Drew somehow turns up (he is incorrigible), it'll lead to further complications .
    In my opinion, generic dance episodes are acceptable in one-shots, but in a main fic, it can get a bit tiring. I mean my Christmas one-shot had a dance/party thing.

    And yeah, the obvious clash that is to occur will definitely turn things upside down. But of course, none of you know exactly that's going to happen. ;-)

    dvast

    i just had started reading your shipping fic and this is one of my favorites. This last chapter is one of my favorites so keep up the good work. the only thing i really dont like is altier. he looks to perfect, i think you should give him a major personality flaw that would make dawn and may think again over him.
    Ah, glad you've taken interest in my fic. Welcome to the thread. =)

    I've received a few complaints about Altair and his apparent perfection. However, if you check the post before my post of the last chapter, you'll see that I made a spoiler that explains Altair's current visible weaknesses in depth. Now, of course these aren't his only weaknesses, and also the current weaknesses will play a big role in the future of the plot.

    As for personality flaw, I believe he already somewhat has one, though it may be a tad generic. The "loner type" is probably one that is often used. However, Altair has a few exceptions to that like when he decided to help May out with talking to Ash many chapters ago, and doing some heroic deeds. So he's not the total loner type, and still has many unseen traits, both good and bad.

    swampert55

    I regret to inform you that your proofreading skills have not improved. Anyway, very good chapter, though relatively short (I shouldn't be talking, my last chapter was only 1,627 words).
    ...xP

    It might have something to do with me writing and finishing my chapters late at night all the time, though. Maybe I should reconsider that time frame.

    Actually, this chapter only seems short because there were a couple paragraph chunks in this chapter, but in reality, this chapter is longer than most of my other chapters. This was around, 3,500 words? Then most of my chapters are between 2,000 to 3,000, and longer ones are above 4,000. I really could make my chapters longer, but then that'll mean longer downtime and less suspense (hehe).

    I feel bad for Ash right now; he doesn't have any idea of what's going on.
    Still good 'ol dense Ash, though he's starting to develop feelings, but it's not yet fully matured.

  24. #149
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    Wink Late Review

    Wow! This forum is letting me on for the first time in like a week and a half! Cookies for everone!
    *Passes out cookies*

    Seems like I missed a lot of commas this time... I never was good with commas, since I never bothered remembering every rule.
    Who DOES remember all of those rules? I just read my writing out loud, and everywhere I naturally pause, I stick a comma. Never fails.

    Usually.

    I'm sure my teacher disagrees, but she seems to think I can handle my grammar well enough.

    A pretty much unlikely event indeed, although I vaguley remember some some 'dance' in Kanto...oops.
    Whoa, EB. Slow down for a second. Dawn's never been out of Sinnoh with Ash, I thought?

    I have no objection to Pearlshipping either, but a different perspective on the characters' ages would seem in order.
    *shot*

    Tis the dramatic irony. Hey, looks like those literary terms I've learned in English class has come to some use.
    'bout time.

    Ah, After Hoenn, a great fic. One of the "Big Three" fics that inspired me.
    Ah, The Big Three.

    *Bows*

    And now, the review.

    “I really wonder where he went…” pondered Dawn. “He seemed to be in a bit of a hurry, and I haven’t seen him since then. Hehe, it kind of makes him mysterious.” The girl giggled as she thought of Altaďr being some sort of secret agent on an important mission, falling in love with her at the same time he was on the mission.
    Too funny!

    The ironicness. (NOT a term I learned in English class.)

    “Well, shower time,” Dawn announced as she began undressing.
    Dirty pictures are forming in my mind...AH!

    You COULD'VE just said "Dawn said as she carefully shut the bathroom door," or something, but no. She has to be UNDRESSING.

    As May entered the large and luxurious bathroom, thoughts began to wander through her head as she began to work on getting her dress undone.
    Oh my gosh, he's doing it again! My mind is sinking deeper into the gutter! My brain is frying!



    It was dinnertime, and Ash and Brock were gorging tacos at the counter of a Mexican fast food stand that was open on the street.
    Aw, why don't I have a Mexican Fast Food stand? Life frowns on me.

    “Pika Pikapi!” chirped Pikachu cheerfully as he opened his last pack of hot sauce and finished it in one slurp.

    “Heh, that’s nasty, Pikachu.”
    Says the boy who ate an entire Taco in one bite.

    “Here it is,” May said out loud.
    Good job May, you can read and comprehend signs. You pass first grade. Next time, lets try and keep our thoughts to ourselves, alright?

    if Drew somehow turns up (he is incorrigible), it'll lead to further complications .
    Dude, Cichawk is an ADVANCESHIPPER. We don't have anyone else to dump the dirty roles on, now do we? (Aside from Misty, but almost all of the Mods are Pokeshippers, so I'd watch it there.) Of course he'll be showing up, if only in mention.

    The grinding grossed May out at first, but then the thought of doing such acts with certain boys came to her mind.
    Adult themes!

    (And just as I got the last two out of my mind...)

    Or Altaďr, but he wasn’t even around.
    Altair, avoiding an event where Boys and Girls socialize together, possibly romantically?

    With the chapter name of Polarity Check, I'm worried about his orientation.

    Heh, too bad the ending of the chapter had to be the way it was. Schizophrenic much?
    Actually, Schanophoozeric (hard to spell, eh?) people have several personallities, and when one personallity does something, the others don't know about it, I think. I wouldn't know, because it was the Bob half of me that looked it up in the dictionary.

    So, kind of a more grown up chapter here, but it's nice to know that the characters of Pokemon are actually maturing mentally in your fic. It's also nice to know that you don't consider Ash/May/Brock/Dawn to be gay. I hate those people. (But we all know the truth about Harley, James, and Tucker, don't we?)

    I wanted to comment on the emotion you put in your fic:

    Just for fun, I copied a chapter into Microsoft word and deleted all of the emotional thoughts.

    It was confusing, first of all, and pacing seemed to die.

    Really your emotion does three things quite effectively, as I am glad to report.

    1. It tells the reader what the characters are thinking, so the reader doesn't guess and get it completely wrong. It's your story, and we're all completely stupid about it. Tell us everything you can about what's going on - use packing peanuts for that fragile mental picture, because it would be a shame if we got it all wrong.

    2. It helps explain the story.

    3. It improves pacing, and forces people to read it closer. (not to mention that it's funny.) I've read too many fanfictions, (mine included) that tend to skip over the emotions when the author gets excited about what he wants to say. They quicken up emmensely, and lose quality because of it. Definately keep the emotional dialogue the way you have it, because it is very effective.

    I didn't bother to proofread this time, seeing as I reviewed after Swapert and EB. I doubt that there'd be anything wrong after they come through.

    So... I want more.

    And what did the title mean, really? I made an immature guess, but I wanna know...

  25. #150
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    Wow! This forum is letting me on for the first time in like a week and a half! Cookies for everone!
    *Passes out cookies*
    Mmmm, cookies...
    Anyway, down to business! I remember you saying long ago about Altair's battling system having some drawbacks. I guess the whole pain thing is it. But I still can't guess why it's happening in the first place... I mean, I have some ideas, but they're pretty stupid...

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