22nd October 2007, 12:03 PM
I liked this chapter. I can see how it would bore some people, but not every chapter is allowed to be it's own mini action movie, and this one did have action anyway.
Couple of things that let it down first off, characters.
Why is it that Milo's character changes, rather radically? He appears to be this nervous, quite timid and easily scared scientist the entire way through untill Carrie evolves the Grovyle. He then simply says "You probably shouldn't have done that" or something to that degree. However, the way he acted earlier would've led ME to believe he would've been much more concerned about the consequences, practically "cacking them" as the phrase goes.
"She half wondered whether it would sprout baubles or not", now, I know that's not the exact line but for some reason quotes arn't working right now, but to me.. Well I know you added that line for a nice bit of comedy, however the worst thing in the world for Carrie would most likely be her Grovyle evolving into Scepty, or her CAUSING a Grovyle to evolve into Sceptile. Seems to me that the latter did happen, and she was "in two minds" about it.
Perhaps i'm being picky, but you've somewhat sacrificed a little of Carrie's character, for a line of comedy.
Grace White. If she doesn't care all that much, then why the obssessive amount of secrecy hat Memorcorp seems to have? Also, the lack of guards... Whether resolvable or not, there should still be some mention of them, or something...
Other then that I enjoyed this chapter, and wondering where you're going to go now. I apologise for not doing reviews for other chapters, but the forums are totally me-ist.
Keep it up!
Banner credit: Jakotsu.
Originally Posted by MSN
They named a game after me?
Originally Posted by L0L