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Thread: Lost Evolution

  1. #251
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    Just to let ya know, I totally started reading all the LE chapters again, and on the 2nd of Jan, I'm heading down to Sim's, which'll leave me plenty of review time.

    Also, DAMNZITAWWWLL DRAGONFREE! Breaking reviews up into nice, easy to read bitesize chunks.

    Means I saw a bit I shouldn't have.

    "Carrie knew that Altaria" or something.

    Now I'm all giddified.

    This solidifies her Dad as my second favourite character.
    After Theo, naturally.

    Banner credit: Jakotsu.
    Quote Originally Posted by MSN
    Profesco says:
    You were an admirable baby.
    Quote Originally Posted by L0L View Post
    They named a game after me?

  2. #252
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    Yay for horrendously late review of DOOM!


    Interesting character development for Carrie this time around. She spends the first two thirds acting like she woke up on the wrong side of the cave (which she did) and basically whining and complaining so much I wanted to smack her. Then she realizes (only after he's knocked out) how much she's been relying on him, and starts feeling bad about treating him like turd (and rightfully so).

    Nice daring escape by Archopy. Hopefully she's far enough away from Sceptile that she can rest for a bit in that cave she found. Hope she realizes that she hasn't stumbled into a trap and it's only the secret base of someone who is apparently a Treecko fan judging by the doll inside. Otherwise she could be up all night worrying about a threat that isn't there... Her little mix-up was cute, though

    And Carrie's father makes his appearance? We won't know for sure until we find out Carrie's fate after being sent to dreamland, but if it's indeed him, looks like he came in the nick of time. I agree that this would have been a better way to end the chapter, though.

    Another good chapter, and perhap from here on out, we'll see Carrie be a bit nicer to Theo. But for some reason, now I want Vanessa to make her next appearance. Don't ask why; I don't know myself XD

  3. #253
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    THEONOES!

    Haha Ultra Balls SUCK. S'all I'm saying.

    Although yes... Good GOD that was an excellent description of the doll, a very well done.

    Now, I must insist... You don't need to go to school, do you? You dont [i[]need[/i] a life, you can just ist around writing this all the time, surely?

    Any answer other then the one I want is wrong and filled with lies, so, yeah.

    Banner credit: Jakotsu.
    Quote Originally Posted by MSN
    Profesco says:
    You were an admirable baby.
    Quote Originally Posted by L0L View Post
    They named a game after me?

  4. #254
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    First off, I'd like to send you one huge CONGRATULATIONS for getting pest chaptered fic and best plot (not to mention getting Archopy recognized with its own award)! After yet another long absence, it does my heart good to see my favorite fic flourishing so well.

    The last chapter I read was 18, so I'll pick up from 19. I figure I owe you a good review. I don't have the time to make it as detailed as I would like, but I can at least give my highlights.

    Ch. 19

    I like the character of the Skarmory. Seeing him take his revenge on Vanessa was absolutely priceless. Her frustration at the end was grimly satisfying.

    As for Armaldo, I feel so sorry for Theo. The Pokemon's blankness was strikingly powerful.

    I liked how we also got to see a bit more of Crescent's character.

    Ch. 20

    I really enjoyed the battle segment in this one. Team Pokemon fights are some of my favorites. Granted, it wasn't very long, but I thought it well done all the same.

    Very nice ending.
    The sounds of commotion – muttered, human voices – floated in from just outside the cave, coupled with thumping footsteps that almost certainly belonged to the Aggron. Carrie stood up and started worriedly towards the entrance, but she was stopped in her tracks by a gruff male voice which made Raptola squeal in fright.

    “Aggron, Rock Slide!”
    I read that last line and thought, "Oh sh**..."

    Ch. 21

    I'd like to say first how much I loved this chapter.

    the first scene was marvelous. I love those points in a story where you are forced to question whether or not the bad guys are really after something bad at all.

    Then, to complement that, we are reminded in the next scene why we hate them so much. I love the way Crescent puts himself in danger to try and get help. It adds another level of tension to the whole thing.

    Last scene = Doh!
    The sheer weight of their mistake is astonishing when one thinks about it. Not only did they waste a lot of time in walking, but all the danger they placed themselves in, all the trauma caused to their Pokemon (especially Raptola), and even the present danger that Crescent is in seems to have all been for naught.

    Ch. 22

    Yay! more Archopy! You know how much I like those bits. In this one, that plot finally seems to converge in a way with the main plot line. I read the part where it sees the Sceptile, and I'm like- Awwww crap. Nice way to end it too, with Archopy's fate in such a tight spot.

    I enjoyed the display of building tension among our main characters, but my absolute favorite scene in this chapter was the one with Crescent. I could really get a sense for his exhaustion and desire to give up. When he started to sing though - totally bad-a!!! I completely was not expecting him to pull a Perish Song (that is what it was, right?), but it made for one of the coolest plot elements I've read in this fic. I mean... duuuuuuude. Loved it.

    Ch. 23

    Rock slides + cave excursion = more crap for our heroes. Wonderful way to turn what could have been a dull maze into a race for their lives. The part where Theo was knocked out was incredible. Such deep character exploration for Carrie, and you did a mighty fine job with it.

    Archopy's fight with Sceptile. Gawd, I want the zit-backed lizard to get hurt... bad... is that so wrong?
    Anyway, I thought it was cool how Archopy escaped using tactics from its "memories." And later on, I felt so proud of myself for recognizing the bush as a secret base before you said it.
    It was a member of the youngest form of her kind, and it was dead.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!! ooooooohhhhhhh boy...
    So, it wasn't that funny for Archopy, but having it freak out about the plush was such a fun little addition.

    A brief thought flitted across her mind just before she succumbed to the fluffy, pillow-like drowsiness.

    She knew that Altaria.

    Dad…
    O.o ... *blink*... whoa now! I lika dat! When they began the fight, I was thinking how the heck are they going to pull that off? But that was a really neat way to do it. I actually thought about her dad a couple times when she was despairing over dying. Nice touch.


    now then...

    I am happy to announce that you continue to live up to all my expectations and surprise me. Your writing style, as I hope I've mentioned in the past, is very pleasant to read, your characters are fleshing out beautifully, and your plot just keeps getting better.

    I love how you constantly put your characters in seemingly impossible situations and pull them out in ways that are utterly believable. In my experience, those are a blast to construct, and I certainly hope you're getting as much of a kick out of writing those scenarios as you deserve.

    --------------------

    Glad to finally see this again. You probably ought to leave me off the PM list for now at least, especially since it is getting so crowded. There's no telling how often I'll be on, but when I am, I'll be sure to always check this thread anyway.

    Good Fortune!

    Now up in the Fanfiction Forum!


    banner a collaboration between Warlord-Pickle and myself

  5. #255
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    wow... well there I go putting my foot in my mouth again. I've been reading this and it is REALLY GOOD. I especially love Archopy, I wish it was a real pokemon because it's so cool! anyway great storyline, cant wait for next chapter. ^-^

    Awesome fan-fics (please read them.)
    PMD--Gemstone, by sweet_piplup123
    PMD: Dawn Guardians, by Koridojo_Blaziken
    [ENJOY!!! ^-^


    Lyria the Level 5 Female Symbol
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  6. #256
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    It's about time I posted in here to assure everyone that I am, in fact, still alive.

    The reason I was dead for so long? Getting some distractions for Christmas which meant both that I was more interested in fanart than fanfiction and that I was more into another fandom than Pokémon for a while. My mind is so easily sidetracked by new and shiny things that it's taken me this long to regain my interest for writing Lost Evolution. That said, the next chapter isn't quite ready yet, and I'm sorry if seeing this thread revived after two months had got anyone's hopes up.

    BUT. It won't be long. Yesterday I had an amazing writing spree come out of nowhere and I managed to finish writing Chapter 25. Now all I have to do is tweak Chapter 24 with what the person I sent it to for a one-off beta said in mind (see, I have been doing stuff with LE over the time I've been dead, honest!) and then it'll be ready. I hope to have it up by Easter Saturday, if only because I know that any later than that and I'll be distracted again for a day or two.

    In the meantime, I might as well reply to the reviews that have been gathering dust here since Christmas.


    lunar_espeon - :3

    I love how you always manage to read stuff between the lines that I never intended to put there but which is largely accurate anyway. I'm glad that you managed to pick up how scared Carrie was, as I put a lot of effort into slowly building up her freaked-out-ness up until the crucial moment with Theo.

    ...I'd reply in more depth, but it feels weird since you wrote all those comments about quarter of a year ago now.

    Darkfall - I should probably tell you that the reason I chose an Altaria for that was largely because I knew it would amuse you greatly. Helps that it knows Sing and all, but...

    And, well, it looks like the wrong-and-filled-with-lies answer turned out to be the right one after all. Sorry. :x

    DarkPersian479 - Even-horrendously-later reply of doom? Yay.

    The reason Carrie spent the first two-thirds as a whiny ***** is because underneath it all, she was seriously freaking out, so she was being snappy to cover it up and use Theo as an outlet for her jumpiness. But yes, hopefully she should start appreciating him a bit more now. We'll see.

    I like how everyone seems to be amused by Archopy's little freak-out. xP

    I believe that after reading Dragonfree's suggestion to change the scene order and asking her about it in PM, I then came up with a very good reason as to why it shouldn't be changed. Except it was so long ago that I can't actually remember what that reason was. :x Either way, there's little point me changing it now so long after the chapter was first posted.

    And you'll be seeing Vanessa again soon enough, don't worry.

    Sireath - Thanks a lot for going through each of the chapters and giving comments on all of them - I like having lots of comments to read. :3

    I'm glad you liked all the various plot twists/cliffhangers/questioning of villain motives/unexpected Perish Songs (you're right, that's what it was) that I stuffed the most recent few chapters with, since they're seriously fun to write, as you seem to be aware. =D It's also good to see you found Archopy using tactics from her memories a nice touch, as I worried when I wrote it that it'd be a little corny. And you make me glad I managed to come up with a way for Carrie's father to save her "neatly", as you put it - initial plans for that scene involved him getting into a battle with the guard at the entrance to the cave and having them somehow flee during it, which would have been a huge mess to write and a general pain after how long it took me to get through the cave section of the chapter.

    mew_nani - Welcome to the fic! Good to see it still attracting new readers even after having lain dead for over a month. Make sure when you reply to make your comments as in-depth as you can.


    So there we have it. I'm afraid to say that updates to the fic aren't likely to be particularly fast for a while; I've got important exams in a couple of months which I should technically be revising for, so I'll probably be quite busy even without any distractions. I really hope that all you readers will stick with this even despite this long gap and any future long gaps that there may be. I promise you that, however long it takes, I will finish this fic.
    Last edited by elyvorg; 24th May 2009 at 9:02 PM.
    .: Evolution is a battle .:. Something has to lose :.
    LOST EVOLUTION
    Chapter 33: Inside has been posted.


    Foregone Conclusion
    Spinoff/prequel/backstory/thingy to Lost Evolution, written for NaNoWriMo 2010

    Three Heads Are Better Than One

  7. #257
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    Default Chapter 24: Resolution

    Happy Saturday to you all!

    The chapter's ready like I hoped it'd be. Since there's been such a long wait and it's not even a particularly eventful chapter despite this (though hopefully some parts of it will still be interesting), I'll pacify you with a drawing of Archopy that I did a while ago with the tablet I got for Christmas which is responsible for me being more interested in fanart than fanfiction for a while. (Don't bother looking at the rest of my deviantArt album unless you happen to be an Ace Attorney fan, though.)

    So yeah. Here it is. Many thanks to Dragonfree for beta-reading it for me.

    Chapter 24: Resolution

    “…and by the time he woke up, they’d gone.”

    Grace White felt a flicker of irritation cross her mind. The two intruders from days ago may have been insignificant, but she’d still expected the bald man staring out of the screen in front of her to have done a better job of containing them. “In other words, they escaped?” she said, an accusation rather than a question.

    The man on the screen grimaced momentarily. “Yeah, they did.”

    Grace narrowed her eyes at him, even though he couldn’t see her face. “I thought you were told to keep them away from Archopy as long as possible?”

    “Oh, come on. We’re in Northern Canyon here – that’s miles away from where you said it was. If they hadn’t got the location wrong, then we’d have had a job on our hands keeping them away from it. They made it nice and easy for us.”

    “But you still didn’t succeed.”

    “Doug had no idea the Altaria was going to show up!” the man protested. “He said it came out of nowhere. And it’s not his fault they got out of the caves, either. He was the one trying to quietly dispose of them while they were in there.”

    An alarm bell sounded in Grace’s head. “No,” she said quickly, firmly. “I made it quite clear: you were not to kill them. If a murder were ever linked to MemorCorp, our reputation, our plans – they could all be ruined.”

    “Yeah, yeah, I got that bit,” he replied. “Don’t worry, he was making it look like an accident. Cave collapse? No one’d ever know.”

    The Director sucked in air through her teeth. “Fair enough. But still, you had no need to do that. Archopy has been recaptured now. You only needed to keep them contained for a short while longer.”

    The man’s face twisted in annoyance. “So basically, it doesn’t matter that they escaped, and you’re moaning at me for no reason? Well, that’s a –”

    “Bernard,” said Grace, knowing full well that the man hated his name, “your assignment is over. You and your men are to return to the facility and continue guarding the scientists as normal. Is that understood?”

    Bernard scowled. “Whatever you say, boss.” With that, his face vanished from the screen.

    Grace White stared at the blank computer terminal. Bernard Savage was the second-in-command of Bad Light, and as such he felt the right to be referred to by everyone below him as “Savage”, which Grace was fairly sure wasn’t his real surname. Being one of the few people able to call him Bernard without fear of retribution, she knew that being belittled was the one thing that irritated him. As someone accustomed to being looked up to herself, she could relate.

    She thought over what he had told her and wondered briefly why an Altaria had felt the need to help out a pair of passing trainers. Perhaps it had belonged to an accomplice?

    She shook her head. It didn’t matter either way. Archopy would be hers again as soon as Aiden woke up and reached the nearest Poké Ball transfer machine. Until then, she could wait.

    The Director leant back in her swivel chair and rotated slightly so she could pick up Walsh’s report on Archopy that was lying on another desk to her right. She flipped it open and ran her eyes down the mass of text as she reread it. It was problematic, to say the least. Archopy’s recessive genes meant that it would be almost impossible to maintain a constant population once the species was released and breeding naturally. Something would have to be done.

    Something would also have to be done about the geneticist, Walsh. Grace knew full well that he had helped the intruders; she’d just seen no reason to bring it up yet. Now, though, that she had revealed her plans to her scientists, things were different. She needed him focused, without his head full of naive ideas about fighting back.

    An electronic beeping brought her out of her thoughts. Mildly irked at the disruption, she swivelled back towards the video screen. The call was from Aiden.

    Grace frowned. It was too early in the morning for him to have woken up and reached a transfer machine. Apprehension taking over, she pressed the answer button.

    “Aiden, what is it?”

    The man looked to be fuming. “It’s Archopy – gone! Along with my Sceptile!”

    The Director couldn’t have cared less about the man’s Sceptile, but the shock of Archopy’s disappearance was only dampened by the fact that she had been subconsciously expecting it. “Explain,” she hissed.

    Aiden made a slight effort to calm himself visibly before speaking. “I went to sleep after catchin’ it, like I said. Sceptile was sleepin’ outside his ball as well. Then I woke up and he was gone, and so was the Ultra Ball I caught Archopy in.”

    She could sense the man wasn’t quite telling her everything. “And?”

    He bit his tongue for a moment, but then he gave in. “And I found the Ultra Ball a few trees away, smashed to bits.”

    Grace wished the video-link was two-way so that Aiden could see how furious she was. “So what you are telling me is that your own Pokémon set Archopy free?”

    “I didn’t say tha –”

    “That’s obviously what happened,” she snapped. “Nothing else makes any sense. I thought you told me when I hired your group that your Pokémon were well-trained?”

    “’Course they are,” replied Aiden. “Gotta be aggressive in this line of work. He wouldn’t have felt sorry for it. I know that much.”

    “Perhaps not,” said Grace between gritted teeth. “What, though, if you trained him to be too aggressive? He could have set her free to attack her for some reason. He might even have killed her.”

    “Shit,” muttered Aiden as realisation hit him. “What am I meant to do if it’s dead?”

    “It shouldn’t matter, since Pokémon DNA can still be extracted from dead tissue; it’d be impossible to revive fossils otherwise.” Grace frowned. “That said, I won’t be too pleased if she is dead. She has a lot of valuable memories locked up in that head of hers. I want her back, Aiden.”

    “I’ll have a job without Sceptile’s help,” he said. “I reckon he could kinda sense where it was, but now…”

    “I don’t care. Just find her,” Grace hissed.

    “Okay, okay. I’ve got some men around the hill, guarding it in case Bernie screwed up – or in case anyone else tried to grab Archopy first, for that matter. I can call them in to help look. We’ll have it in no time.”

    “You had better hope so,” muttered Grace as she terminated the link.

    She stared at the screen for a moment, still quietly fuming, until a thought hit her. After hesitating briefly, she called another number. A bald face appeared, frowning at her from somewhere in a distant canyon.

    The Director gritted her teeth. “Mr. Savage,” she said. “There’s been a change of plan.”

    * * *

    A juddering kind of rumble filled Theo’s head. He was beginning to wonder what it was when his whole body was suddenly rocked up and down, jerking him fully awake. Slowly lifting his head, he looked around and saw that he was lying in some kind of open metal box which felt like it was moving – yes, that was where the rumbling and the bump had come from.

    Theo blinked and tried to remember where he was. He was sure he hadn’t been here before – last he remembered, he’d been… where?

    A cave. That was right: he’d been walking through the tunnels of a cave, and then –

    “Kabutops!” He jolted upright, looking around, but his Pokémon was nowhere to be seen.

    Sitting up had however given him a clearer view of his situation. Over the sides of the metal box, a mass of trees and vegetation and general greenness rolled past, and beside him lay Carrie, three of her Grovyle, and Empathy, apparently all asleep. He looked past them and it finally clicked what the box was part of – it was the open-topped back section of a brown, muddied jeep.

    A man in an orange jacket with hair the same shade as Carrie’s was at the wheel. He gave Theo a quick glance then turned back towards the grimy windscreen. “I see you’re awake,” he said over the roar of the engine. “What’s this about a Kabutops?”

    “My Kabutops,” Theo mumbled, frantically trying to sort out the details among the jumble of his mind. “He… he got caught in a rock slide, I think, yes, and then… I must have been knocked out too. Do you know where he is?”

    “I’m afraid I don’t know anything about a Kabutops,” the stranger replied. “But if Carrie was there, she’d probably have recalled him for you. I’m sure she wouldn’t have left him in those caves.”

    Theo wasn’t completely convinced about that, but from the way he spoke about her, this man sounded like he knew Carrie quite well…

    The colour of the man’s hair and his familiarity with Carrie suddenly snapped together like a jigsaw in Theo’s head. “You’re Carrie’s father, aren’t you?”

    He nodded, still keeping his eyes on the bumpy forest path as they drove on. “Brian Woods. I’m guessing you’re the man she found who told her where that flying Pokémon was – what was it called again?”

    “Archopy. And I’m Theo,” he said, but his concentration on the conversation was lost as he stared unseeingly at the floor of the jeep. There was something bad about Archopy, something that he’d found out back in the caves, something in his mind dancing just out of reach…

    They’d come all the way to Northern Canyon to find it, that much he could remember…

    Only it had never been there in the first place. He’d got it wrong.

    The bitterness of disappointment at the realisation felt just as heavy as it had before. The sheer weight of how much effort he’d spent, how much anticipation he’d felt just to lay eyes on the creature whose remains he’d dug from those caves, only to have it stare him in the face that he’d been on the wrong track all along…

    And it was no-one’s fault but his. If he’d actually stopped and thought about it instead of focusing blindly on getting to Archopy before anyone else reached it, he might have found it by now. As the argument he’d had with Carrie in the cave came back to him, Theo reflected dully that she had every right to blame him for it.

    “Theo?” Brian’s insistent voice told him that the man had been trying to get his attention for a while now.

    He snapped himself out of his self-deprecation and looked at Brian. “What is it?”

    “I was trying to ask you – did you find it? Archopy?”

    Theo heaved a heavy sigh. “No.”

    He wished he had, though. He really, really wished he had.

    Theo stared out of the jeep again to watch the mass of greenery rush past. It struck him as slightly darker than it should be, even for a forest where the light was shrouded by treetops – where were the sunbeams shining through the leaves? It must have still been early in the day; he looked around for the sun and saw a bright patch between the tree trunks barely higher than the horizon.

    Something occurred to him. “Hold on,” he said. “It’s only just morning – what were you doing out in the dark? How did you even manage to find us?”

    “That’s an odd story, actually,” Brian replied. “I was on night duty – I’m a ranger in the forests around Fortree City, you see – and we got a call from someone who’d noticed an unusual amount of fainted wild Pokémon in a part of the forest near to Northern Canyon. I went there with the city’s Pokémon nurse to take a look, and he examined a few of them and told me they all showed signs of having heard a Perish Song.”

    Theo nodded. He’d heard what a Perish Song could do, even though he’d never been witness to one.

    Brian’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel. “Then it all started making sense when we found Carrie’s Absol, also unconscious, near the edge of the forest. I told the nurse to have his Alakazam teleport them both back to the Pokémon Centre, since he had some fairly severe battle wounds, but I stayed to look for Carrie. Eventually spotted her as she was dragging you out of the Northern Canyon caves. There was someone waiting for her who didn’t seem too friendly, so I had my Altaria use Sing.” He paused. “She looked so… I don’t know. What happened in those caves, Theo?”

    Theo was surprised to find that Carrie’s father had taken his eyes off the bumpy path and was looking directly at him. “I don’t know either. They…” He hesitated, not wanting to tell Brian that someone had been trying to kill his daughter. “We got into some trouble, but she was still being her usual self, if a bit more jumpy than normal. I don’t know what happened after I got knocked out.” He caught sight of the worry in the man’s eyes as he turned back towards the road and felt almost guilty. “Sorry.”

    Brian shook his head briefly. “Doesn’t matter,” he muttered.

    He said nothing further, and without a conversation to distract him, Theo’s thoughts wandered back to Archopy. Assuming that it really had flown towards where it had lived in the implanted memories, he felt sure that the place in question must have been an island back in Archopy’s prehistoric era. Armed with that knowledge and a map of Hoenn, he was confident he could work out where it really was.

    One thing was certain. Having got it wrong once, Theo wasn’t about to let Archopy slip out of his reach again.

    * * *

    Carrie opened her eyes and stared at the familiar wooden beams of the ceiling above her. It was a moment before it hit her exactly why they were so familiar – she was in her bedroom, lying on her own bed.

    The memories of childhood brought on by the room were quickly overshadowed as reality flooded back to her. There had been an Altaria – her dad’s Altaria – saving her just when she’d needed it most. She could also vaguely remember being shaken awake in the back of her father’s jeep, climbing groggily up the rope ladder to her house and collapsing down on her bed. It must have taken her less than a minute to fall back to sleep.

    She sat up and gazed out of the window, watching the tree branches that surrounded it swaying in the breeze. Tree houses weren’t exactly the most convenient housing type around, but they certainly made Fortree City an interesting place to live.

    A clump of the tree’s leaves started moving towards her until her still-sleepy eyesight worked out that they weren’t leaves but a Grovyle, climbing across a branch thinner than her arm. Carrie got up and opened the window, letting the Grovyle – Foliano – slip through and into her room.

    How are you?” he asked, looking her in the eye.

    “Fine,” she replied quickly, in all honesty still not sure how she felt, having just woken up.

    Foliano looked as though he’d been hoping for more but said nothing. Behind him, Ivyx and Velotus appeared at the window and climbed inside.

    Do you have our Poké Balls?” asked Ivyx. “Only, since we’re here and you’re awake, I wouldn’t mind being healed.

    Carrie nodded and moved across to her door where her jacket was hanging on a peg. In her pockets were a handful of Poké Balls which she pulled out and fiddled with idly, turning them over in her hands as she looked at them.

    “Empathy… where’s he?”

    Waiting for you on the ground,” Foliano told her. “He would have joined us, but he had some difficulties with the ladder.

    Carrie nodded, now staring at the single Ultra Ball among its red-and-white counterparts. “Crescent…”

    Her eyes widened as she remembered a snippet of something her father had told her while she’d been briefly awake earlier. “Dad found him, didn’t he? He’s in the Pokémon Centre, right?”

    She looked at Foliano for confirmation. He nodded.

    Happily relieved, she looked back at the spheres in her hand. “And Raptola’s fine.”

    Can we see him quickly before we go in?” asked Ivyx hopefully.

    Carrie shook her head. There was something on her mind regarding Raptola, but she didn’t think now was the best time to bring it up. “No, not right n – hold on. There’s seven balls here, not six. Where’d the last one come from?”

    Kabutops,” said Foliano.

    “Oh, yeah.” Carrie pulled a face, feeling guilty for forgetting that she had someone else’s Pokémon on her. “Yeah, I kept him because Theo was out cold…”

    Theo.

    The feeling may have been a little hazy due to her having slept it off, but Carrie could still remember how much she’d panicked, how hopeless she’d felt while Theo had been out of action back in the caves. She remembered properly understanding for the first time how he really was more than just an annoying hanger-on – no, not even annoying. He’d never done anything to her.

    She needed to talk to him.

    Her Grovyle were staring at her, but she waved off their curious looks as she recalled them and stuffed the Poké Balls back into her pockets. She pulled her jacket on and opened the door, looking out across the plain, wood-panelled landing. It was empty – but then, what had she been expecting? Theo to have been waiting for her behind her bedroom door?

    Carrie made her way down the stairs, trying to work out what exactly she was going to say to him. She vaguely hoped her dad wouldn’t be with him – that would just make things infinitely more awkward. Reaching the living room door, she opened it cautiously and peered inside. Theo was sitting on the sofa beside her father; both were looking at something spread out across the coffee table.

    Carrie hovered in the doorway uncertainly. They hadn’t noticed her – perhaps she should leave and come back later when Theo was alone? She didn’t like to swallow her pride and apologise as it was, let alone with her father watching.

    Brian happened to look over towards her and stood up in surprise. “Carrie! You’re awake.”

    She nodded mutely, not sure what to do.

    “I’ve just been helping your friend work out where to look next,” he went on.

    Carrie was about to reply that Theo wasn’t her friend when she stopped herself. Things had changed. Was he a friend now?

    She told herself to think about it later as she noticed that spread across the table was a map of Hoenn. Mumbling “Right,” as a way of showing she hadn’t gone mute, she moved to take a closer look.

    “I think I’ve found it,” said Theo as Carrie came to kneel beside the table. “I’m pretty sure about it this time – I mean, really sure.” A trace of guilty apology still lingered in his voice.

    “So where is it?” Carrie said.

    Theo pointed at a spot some way south of Fortree City, in between the officially marked routes. The green shade for the land was paler around his finger, indicating high ground. “Here. According to your dad, it’s called Steel Hill.”

    Carrie nodded. “Because of the rumours that the legendary Titan of Steel lives on its slopes,” she said. “Yeah, that makes sense. It’s the highest hill in Hoenn that isn’t Mount Chimney, and Archopy was flying roughly in this direction.” She drew a line from Petalburg to the north-east of the region with her finger. Then she paused and looked at Theo. “Are you sure it was an island back in Archopy’s time? We don’t want the same thing happening again.”

    Theo stared straight back at her. “I’m as sure as I’ll ever be.”

    Satisfied for now, Carrie looked back at the map. “We should probably take Route 119-and-a-half to get there. Less chance of us being intercepted.”

    Theo frowned. “Route what?”

    “Didn’t Dad tell you about that?” Carrie pointed to the forested area directly below Fortree, between two routes that led south from the city on either side. “It’s between Routes 119 and 120, so that’s what we call it. People from Fortree, I mean, because we’re pretty much the only people who ever bother going there. It’s not an official route, so most trainers going for badges leave it alone.”

    “Right. So when are we heading off?” asked Theo.

    Carrie was surprised; he seemed in more of a hurry to go than she was. She shrugged. “I’m awake now, so any time soon. I just need to heal my Pokémon and – oh, hang on.” Suddenly remembering, she handed a Poké Ball to Theo. “Kabutops. He fainted, but he should be fine after a healing. I’ll need to get us some Revives.”

    Theo’s eyes lit up as he took the ball from her. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. “I was almost worried you wouldn’t…”

    Carrie stared. Had he really thought that of her? Had she seriously acted like she could have abandoned Kabutops in the caves?

    She thought back on how she’d treated Theo for the past few days and reflected that yes, she might well have given him that impression.

    Theo had obviously missed the look on her face as he simply said, “I’d better go and get him healed.” He got up to leave the room. Carrie almost told him to wait, but the words died in her throat – she still didn’t know what to say to him. She watched him go and a moment later felt the house creak ever so slightly from his weight on the rope ladder outside.

    Carrie stood up and turned to her father, who had been waiting quietly in the room. “Thanks, by the way,” she told him. “For, you know, saving me and everything.”

    “You don’t need to thank me,” Brian said simply. “It’s what dads are for.” Despite his words, he was giving her the worried-father look. “What happened in those caves, though? Who was the man with the Rhydon?”

    Carrie shook her head and averted her gaze. “It doesn’t matter. Look, I need to heal my Pokémon too, so…” She made to leave.

    “Carrie, wait.” Brian caught her arm. “I don’t even really know what you’re doing. Can’t you at least tell your dad that?”

    “We’ve got to find Archopy before anyone else does,” she said firmly. “That’s all there is to it.”

    “And what are you going to do once you’ve found it?”

    “Talk to it.”

    “Talk to it? Is that all?” Brian sounded rather sceptical, and Carrie couldn’t blame him. She knew how ridiculous just talking to Archopy sounded as a plan of action, but she also knew that she couldn’t allow herself to think about capturing it. She wanted to – of course she wanted to – but unless that was what Archopy itself wanted, and she highly doubted it did, it would be completely and utterly wrong.

    “Yeah, that’s all,” she said, pulling her arm free and darting out of the room. A flash of purple hair was all she registered as she almost bumped into someone coming the other way. Steadying herself, Carrie looked up into the face of the second most important human being in her life.

    “Mum!”

    Her mother’s face broke into a smile. “Carrie! Your dad told me you were here, but he said I should wait until you woke up. How have you been?”

    “Oh, um, fine.” Carrie shifted her weight from one foot to the other, feeling awkward at the sudden reunion in the middle of the hall. “Look, it’s great to see you and everything, but I… kinda need to go.” She motioned vaguely behind her at the front door.

    “Oh.” Her mother’s face fell. “You’ll come back later, though, won’t you?”

    “Yeah, sure,” Carrie called as she left and closed the front door behind her. The fact that she’d probably only be back for a couple of minutes before leaving for Steel Hill was something she felt it best not to mention.

    She found herself on a platform in the boughs of a large tree, surrounded by wooden railings that had been added in the event of someone running out of the front door in a hurry and forgetting what kind of house they were in. Most of Fortree’s inhabitants had lived there all their lives and were used to it, but there was always the odd newcomer wanting to try something different.

    “Espeon!” A call from the ground on Carrie’s left caught her attention, and she moved to the side of the platform from which a rope ladder dangled to see Empathy standing at the foot of it, staring up at her and looking slightly put out. She tried to smother her feelings of mild amusement as she descended in case he picked them up.

    Feet finally touching the ground again, she crouched down beside her Espeon and ran her hands through his lilac fur. “Sorry,” she muttered. “Not the best place for someone with four legs, I know.”

    Empathy gave her a momentary disdainful look, but then his blue eyes softened. Carrie could tell it didn’t really bother him; he just liked to pretend it did.

    “Right, then,” she said, straightening up. “Which way did Theo go?”

    “Esp,” he responded, and he padded off through the city with his trainer following close behind.

    There wasn’t much in the way of streets; it was largely just well-trodden pathways through the grass that thickened into undergrowth around the wide tree trunks. The multitude of rope ladders hanging down from the branches was the only visible sign that the place was inhabited unless one glanced upwards. Barely any houses in Fortree were built on the ground. To Carrie, it wasn’t even a city, just a part of the forest in which people happened to live.

    She noticed Empathy’s ears twitch and looked ahead to find Theo standing in the middle of a triangle of trees, appearing completely lost. He caught sight of Carrie and seemed to perk up slightly, coming across to her. “There you are,” he said, sounding relieved. “Everywhere in this place looks the same. I don’t suppose you know where the Pokémon Centre is?” He looked around aimlessly. “I saw it on the way in, but…”

    Carrie had expected Theo to be able to find one of the few buildings in Fortree that was actually on the ground, but she refrained from mentioning it. “It’s this way,” she said simply, leading him and Empathy off to the left.

    Theo hadn’t been too far off; before long, the red-painted roof of the Centre was visible through the greens and browns of the trees. “Thanks,” he muttered to Carrie. “Knew it was somewhere around here, but all these trees…”

    “Doesn’t matter,” Carrie said suddenly. She found herself being spurred on by a strange kind of feeling. “I was the same with those caves. Don’t worry about it.”

    She noticed Theo looking at her oddly out of the corner of his eye, but somehow didn’t feel deterred. “And by the way,” she added, on a roll now, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

    Theo had almost reached the Pokémon Centre doors, but he stopped and turned to look at Carrie, a picture of puzzlement. He remained speechless for a moment before coming out with, “Did something hit you on the head, too?”

    “Why?” she asked.

    “You’re being nice to me.”

    Carrie laughed. “Me, being nice to you. I bet you thought this day would never come.”

    He continued staring.

    “Look, if I were you, I wouldn’t complain,” she said. “Just go and heal Kabutops. I’ll be right behind you.”

    Theo blinked a few times before finally giving in. “Okay,” he mumbled and disappeared into the Pokémon Centre.

    Carrie just stood there for a moment, her head spinning. That conversation had gone a lot less awkwardly than it should have. She wondered briefly if the near-death situation of last night had given her a bizarre boost in social interaction skills before realising that Empathy was still at her feet. She smirked and looked down at him. “That was you, wasn’t it?”

    The Espeon’s only response was a smug flick of his tail.

    * * *

    Milo stared up at the door bearing the word “DIRECTOR” in large, intimidating letters. Part of him pointed out that if he was going to let himself be frightened by a door of all things, then the person behind it would be even worse, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t quite muster up the will to open it. He’d been called there by the Director, and he felt sure that this time she really was going to bring up the fact that he’d helped the intruders.

    Then again, didn’t trying to avoid seeing her mean he had something to hide? Wouldn’t the Director be even more annoyed with him if he tried to delay this meeting?

    Gritting his teeth, he reached forward and opened the door.

    As he stepped inside, he found himself scrutinised by two pairs of eyes – one belonging to the Director, another belonging to a huge guard whom she had in the room with her. Milo wasn’t certain, but he was pretty sure that the Director didn’t usually have guards in her own office. The man in question was watching Milo without a trace of emotion on his rugged face.

    Milo’s apprehension doubled.

    “Mr. Walsh.” The Director peered down at him with that unfaltering gaze of hers. “I have been reading the report on Archopy you gave me last night. Very informative, particularly the part about the recessive genes.”

    Milo wasn’t sure if he was supposed to say anything, so he didn’t.

    “This knowledge will certainly help me in integrating Archopy smoothly into the wild, and for that you have my thanks.”

    Milo stared at his feet. Was that all he’d been called in for – to be thanked? He doubted it. “Is there anything else?” he asked, feeling as though he was sealing his own death warrant with the words.

    “Yes, Mr. Walsh, there is something else,” said the Director, her voice suddenly laced with irritation. “Why is there no intact Archopy DNA anywhere in the facility?”

    Still staring at his shoes, Milo gulped. This was something he’d felt particularly foolish about ever since Archopy’s escape. “I… um… got kind of excited when carrying out the tests because it’s a newly discovered species,” he mumbled. “I put aside a few DNA samples that wouldn’t be tested on, but I sort of rushed it, and it turns out they’re all slightly damaged in some way and can’t be used to revive anything. I thought it’d be okay,” he added hurriedly, “because I could just get some intact samples from the live specimen once I started preparing the DNA like you told us to. Only, well, it escaped before I got around to that bit.”

    By now the Director sounded quietly furious. “In short, there are two teams of men out there trying to pick up the pieces because of your mistake, Mr. Walsh? There would have been no need if we still had Archopy’s DNA back here. I could quite happily let those two intruders go and capture it if it wasn’t for you.”

    She knows, thought Milo instantly as his whole world seemed to freeze. She knows I talked to the intruders, of course she does. Why did I agree to help them?

    But he knew why he’d agreed to help them. He was supposed to be a whistleblower. Helping Theo and the girl was meant to be him fighting back against this whole organisation. Theo might have been the only person he’d passed information onto, but it was something. It was more than anyone else working at this facility had managed to do.

    Feeling suddenly brave, he looked up from his feet and into the cold gaze of the Director. It felt like now or never.

    “You know I helped those intruders, don’t you?” Milo said, using every ounce of composure he had to stop his voice shaking.

    The Director’s only response was a rather disconcerting smile.

    “Well, that’s because I’m a whistleblower. I’ve been gathering information on this place without you noticing – its staff, its dodgy agreements with the trainers providing the fossils, how unethical the testing is. And now you’ve told me about your plan as well.” He paused for what he felt was dramatic effect. “If you do anything to me, I’ll tell the public everything.”

    As a defiant declaration of blackmail, Milo thought he’d done a pretty good job. At least, he did until he noticed that the Director seemed to be trying to hold back a grin.

    “Mr. Walsh,” she said, sounding uncharacteristically amused, “you are quite simply the most pathetic whistleblower I have ever encountered.”

    In one fell swoop, Milo’s bravery shattered. He almost expected to see shards of it clattering to the floor as he stared back down at his shoes.

    “Of course I knew you helped those intruders,” the Director went on. “There was simply no reason to bring it up. But now that you’ve done this, allow me to put everything out in the open for you.”

    Everything? thought Milo in horror. What does she mean, everything?

    “The fact is, I’ve always known that you were giving out classified information,” she told him matter-of-factly, sounding perfectly composed once again. “Only you never seemed to be doing a particularly good job of it.” She smiled thinly. “You’ve been using your mobile phone to contact Theodore Harcliffe whenever you’ve been away from the guards and cameras.”

    Milo looked back up at her in a panic. How had she known that?

    “Don’t look so surprised,” the Director said. “The staff monitor the landlines of our workers for security reasons; did you really think they wouldn’t monitor the mobiles as well? The only reason I left you alone for so long is that I believed you weren’t a threat. And I was right, was I not?”

    He tried his best to hold her condescending gaze. Milo knew he had never done anything particularly drastic as a whistleblower, but he’d always intended to. Eventually.

    But then again, he’d been drastic just now, and where was that getting him?

    “From what we can gather about Theodore Harcliffe, he isn’t anyone special. A mere fossil enthusiast, an amateur archaeologist. What difference does it make telling him anything?”

    Perhaps not much, but Theo was Milo’s friend – his frequent visits to have fossils examined meant they’d come to know each other quite well. Talking to Theo had been Milo’s way of convincing himself he was fighting back. He’d been desperate to feel like he was doing something, at least.

    Those cold blue eyes continued to gaze down at him, mocking him. “You’re well-known among my staff as being the most timid of workers here, and if the only person you had the guts to tell anything to was your friend, it seemed clear to me that you would never gather the courage to go public. If ever it seemed you might, I’d simply do exactly what I am doing now.”

    Hearing those words, Milo knew he was done for.

    “What… what are you doing now?” he managed to ask.

    The Director gestured to the guard standing beside Milo, who was still fixing him with a solid, unmoving gaze. “I’d like you to meet Rodrigo,” she said, false cheer lining her voice. “He’s the best of our staff that isn’t currently busy, and from now on it’ll be his job to not let you out of his sight.”

    Rodrigo stepped forward and held out a hand. Milo worried that he was expected to shake it – those fingers looked capable of breaking bones. To his relief, the man spoke in a clipped monotone. “Give me your phone.”

    For a moment, Milo remained defiant. He still hadn’t had a chance to tell Theo about the Director’s plan – that was something he felt sure Theo would want to know. But then he looked into Rodrigo’s face and saw the stone-hard eyes of a man who would have no qualms in causing pain if it got the job done. Milo slumped in defeat, fished out his phone and dropped it into the guard’s hand.

    Rodrigo dropped it on the floor. Milo watched and winced as his phone was crushed between the man’s heavy boot and the immaculate white tiling.

    The Director looked disdainfully at the mess of cracked plastic splinters. “There was no need for that,” she muttered.

    Rodrigo looked unbothered and pointed at Milo. “I’m watching him now,” he said. “It won’t be my job to clear it up.”

    The woman’s eyes narrowed as she conceded his point. “That’s true.” She turned again to Milo, who almost flinched. “Mr. Walsh, I’m tempted to ask you to clear it up, but I gather you have a lot of work to be getting to. I can’t have you falling behind on altering the DNA just because of this meeting, understood?”

    Feeling completely helpless by now, Milo had no choice but to nod.

    Rodrigo moved to open the door and then motioned for Milo to leave first. Trying and failing to hide how creeped out he was becoming by the guard’s heavy lack of emotion, he walked past and out of the room.

    “One last thing, Mr. Walsh,” the Director said to him just before Rodrigo closed the door – just as Milo was beginning to regain some composure. “You may be interested to know that a few of our other workers tried something similar to what you have been doing a while ago, and they were dealt with immediately. I left you for so long simply because my staff insisted it would amuse them.” She paused. “Rodrigo doesn’t look like the kind of person to be easily amused, though, does he?”

    Milo looked up into his guard’s apathetic stare as the man pulled the door closed behind him.

    ~~~

    << Previous chapter
    Last edited by elyvorg; 20th June 2009 at 3:51 PM.
    .: Evolution is a battle .:. Something has to lose :.
    LOST EVOLUTION
    Chapter 33: Inside has been posted.


    Foregone Conclusion
    Spinoff/prequel/backstory/thingy to Lost Evolution, written for NaNoWriMo 2010

    Three Heads Are Better Than One

  8. #258
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    First review. Fwee.

    One grammar mistake I noticed:
    Brian sounded rather skeptical,
    Let me first say that Grace White is full of win. She's exactly the kind of cold, calm, and cruel person that I aspire to be in real life. I especially enjoyed how she dealt with Milo - toying with him and keeping him around for amusement. And not even the threat of having everything exposed rattles her. So I rather enjoyed the scenes with her.

    And it seems she knows Aiden's Pokemon better than he does his own:
    What, though, if you trained him to be too aggressive? He could have set her free to attack her for some reason. He might even have killed her.
    A nice homecoming and a bit of character development is never a bad thing either, even if the trip back home was to be brief. I like how the change in Carrie is gradual - she's starting to realize Theo's importance in the Archopy search, yet she can't quite bring herself to outright apologize for being a brat this far.

    And so it seems that everyone's at the same point again - with none of the parties knowing exactly where Archopy has fled and having to make decisions on where to search based on their own judgment.

    Would have been nice to see more of Carrie's parents, but then again it's perfectly understandable that the search for Archopy is of the utmost importance and urgency.

    Overall, a nice, somewhat quiet chapter, but one that relly brought out the character of MemorCorp's enigmatic head. Who is full of win.

  9. #259
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    <_> Well. It's been a while since I posted here (and by extension, these boards) and...and...

    Hmm.

    It seems like I can't come up with something witty or slightly humorous to say, which is making this post seem rather bland. Bleh, maybe its the fact that I haven't posted anywhere in the last six months that's the problem. Well, that's a whatever at this point; being critical is a notch more important than being humorous anyway. Anyway, I felt the need to put my comments in a Spoiler tag. Why? As a fic writer myself, there is no greater joy than coming to a dead topic and finding...

        Spoiler:- Compacted Review:

    -___________- Kaw.

  10. #260
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    DarkPersian479 - Thanks for sticking with this and reviewing.

    I checked the spelling error; it seems that both skeptical and sceptical are accepted spellings. Doesn't even seem to be a regional thing, just that you can use whichever one you like.

    Yay for you liking Grace White. It can be quite refreshing to write someone so calm, collected and in control.

    Good to hear someone at least likes the homecoming stuff, because a subdued kind of chapter like this isn't everyone's cup of tea (neither is it mine, if I'm honest, but needs must). Carrie's having a hard time apologising due to her lack of decent social interaction skills - after all, if it weren't for a certain psychic feline, she wouldn't have got anywhere at all with Theo this chapter.

    Carrie's parents - well, Brian had a decent bit of screentime this chapter, but yeah, I do want to get back to the "find Archopy" storyline as soon as I can. Carrie's mum was literally thrown in there just to establish that yes, Carrie does have a mother, and she isn't one of those trainers with a mysteriously missing parent.

    SlowCrow - What do you mean, can't think of anything humourous to say? Yours was quite possibly the most hilarious review I've ever had.

    Because it was just that awesome, I'm going to reply to every little bit of it in quotes.

    And actually, after seeing how long it all is, I'll put it in a spoiler too.

        Spoiler:


    But yes. This was an awesome review. Did I mention that I love you and you're my new best friend? You'd better continue to do this for every chapter, or else I'll be sad. :3


    I HAS A SNAZZY NEW SIG. 8D Foliano and Ivyx opted to sit in it to advertise the fic for me. I might be able to persuade Velotus to join them, but I can't say he'll be too happy about it.
    .: Evolution is a battle .:. Something has to lose :.
    LOST EVOLUTION
    Chapter 33: Inside has been posted.


    Foregone Conclusion
    Spinoff/prequel/backstory/thingy to Lost Evolution, written for NaNoWriMo 2010

    Three Heads Are Better Than One

  11. #261
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    D: But elyvoooorg! I'm supposed to be your new best friend! Betrayal, I say!

    So I figured I'd reread the chapter and see how you changed it. The improvements are all better; Grace White's conclusion from the broken ball and missing Sceptile is still very quick-witted as DP479 and SlowCrow noted, but that could be passed off as just her being intelligent (unlike the previous version, where she clearly had latent psychic powers). I also suspected Milo's display of his epic whistleblower powers were just him not thinking it through, so I don't mind that remaining; in fact I kind of really love that. :P (Sush, I have a thing for characters I like showing their own weakness.)

    I also neglected to mention in the beta that I really love how you wrote Carrie's father. You had all these little details of his body language making him all concerned and it made me squee. Like in this part:

    Brian’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel. “Then it all started making sense when we found Carrie’s Absol, also unconscious, near the edge of the forest. I told the nurse to have his Alakazam teleport them both back to the Pokémon Centre, since he had some fairly severe battle wounds, but I stayed to look for Carrie. Eventually spotted her as she was dragging you out of the Northern Canyon caves. There was someone waiting for her who didn’t seem too friendly, so I had my Altaria use Sing.” He paused. “She looked so… I don’t know. What happened in those caves, Theo?”

    Theo was surprised to find that Carrie’s father had taken his eyes off the bumpy path and was looking directly at him. “I don’t know either. They…” He hesitated, not wanting to tell Brian that someone had been trying to kill his daughter. “We got into some trouble, but she was still being her usual self, if a bit more jumpy than normal. I don’t know what happened after I got knocked out.” He caught sight of the worry in the man’s eyes as he turned back towards the road and felt almost guilty. “Sorry.”
    All in all there are quite a few parts in the chapter where I really like the way you word things. I also agree on Fortree being quite nicely portrayed.

    I actually think I liked Carrie's scene better as the end of the chapter, but that might just be because I read it that way first.

    Chapter 64: Hide and Seek
    The story of an ordinary boy on an impossible quest in a world that isn't as black and white as he always thought it was.
    (rough draft of the remaining chapters finished for NaNoWriMo; to be edited and posted)

    Morphic
    (completed, plus silly extras)
    A few scientists get drunk and start fiddling with gene splicing. Ten years later, they're taking care of eight half-Pokémon kids, each freakier than the next, while a religious fanatic plots to murder them all.

    Lengthy fanfiction reviewing guide / A more condensed version
    Read and I will be very happy for a large number of reasons.

  12. #262
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    All right. Time to try a return to my full-length review style! Here goes...


    You mentioned that the chapter wasn't very eventful. This much is true, but I honestly don't feel as though it lagged because of it. In fact, I believe this chapter was far more enjoyable because it didn't have much going on. Your past few chapters have all been intense and action-packed. Thus, your reading audience needed a breather (and sure, you could say you gave us one anyway since it took you a while to write this, but my point stands).

    The major pitfall that writers fall into during these "slow" chapters is to just try and rush past it to get to the next action sequence. This generally causes them to lose focus on the characters, but that's ridiculous! The story isn't about actions that characters do, it's about characters that do actions.

    You, I am happy to say, had no problem with this that I could see. You took your characters and focused on them: namely through the continuation of her Theo-dilemma which started in the caves after he was knocked out (I absolutely love this whole realization/thing btw, as I think I've said before).

    I like how you handled Carrie's side of things this chapter, as you seemed to focus on her this time around. I liked all the things you did with Theo in terms of how he reacts to Carrie's changing attitude.

    One thing that I would have liked to see improved upon is the interaction between Carrie and her father. I'm talking about the short little back and forth after Theo left the room. You did a fine job getting the right kind of mood as far as what they were actually saying is concerned, but it was still a little vague when it came to how they were saying it. What I really wanted more of was the level of caring that you wanted to show from the father and the level of discomfort from Carrie. The only reason I'm getting picky on this point is because I've had to do a lot of thinking myself on parent-child scenes, and you really need to bring the feelings across well, something I know you're fully capable of!

    Just to clarify, it works fine as it is, but I think you missed an opportunity here to make it much deeper.

    Moving on. I really love the character you're building up for Grace White. It's easy to make her kind of character bland, but you've given a life to her that I - well, not to be redundant, but - really love! In fact, she had one line in particular that just made me smile:
    The Director looked disdainfully at the mess of cracked plastic splinters. “There was no need for that,” she muttered.
    haha! lol at the Milo-phail.

    He almost expected to see shards of it clattering to the floor as he stared back down at his shoes.
    I very much liked this, btw.

    I thought you did a fine job with the attempted-blackmail scene. Nice and believable. I could really feel Milo's discomfort and anxiety, and -let's face it- it's just fun to see the smug antagonist!

    And now, it's time for...

        Spoiler:- Teh Grammar Nazi!:


    So, anyway, I loved the chapter. It's great to see you're still writing.
    I very much look forward to the next chapter and the continuing search for Archopy!

    Good Fortune!
    Last edited by Sireath; 28th April 2009 at 1:22 AM.

    Now up in the Fanfiction Forum!


    banner a collaboration between Warlord-Pickle and myself

  13. #263
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    And it all comes back to me... I'd forgotten how good this fic was

    So, they finaly escape the deep dark scary depths of the cave and enter...tree heaven!
    No, i am not mad.

    I did like the interaction between Empathy and Carrie a lot, and my suspicion was correct, it was Aiden who stole Archopy! Booo

    Milo is a wimp. Yes, i'd like to see him put a bit of acive effort into stopping MemorCorp, but i suppose its too much for him. awww well.

    Maybe if you offer its of cake and chocolate Velotus may be more willing to have his portrait done?

  14. #264
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    Blame that Dusknoir for dragging me here, he said his pal wanted me to give a quick review.

    As it is, MemorCorp's head is indeed one of those classic villains who retains their calm composure and simply prefers to squash their incompetents by breaking their spirits, which was well described in terms of Milo. I also smell some CarriexTheo shipping there, although the pokemon side of this isn't as massive as I thought.

    Good chapter.


    I reject your Nyancats and replace it with my own.
    FB

  15. #265
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    I'm really enjoying this story! Definately original and I like stories that portrays things from a pokemons point of view.

    I have to say I happen to really like Sceptile . I appreciated how they weren't all ruthless monsters ("Them") in prehistoric times. Carrie's snappy character was started to annoy me a bit so I'm glad you had her show some remorse for being so mean to Theo. She reminds me of some people I know . Anyway your story has excellent character development .

    Is is just me or are there no 4th generation pokemon in your story? I don't think there has been..makes sense since they are in Hoenn. Just a random detail I noticed.

    I look forward to the next chapters!
    I love



    Thanks to Gladeshadow for this userbar

    StarlightMew's PokePet

    Aurora the level 55 Vaporeon!

  16. #266
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    Default

    Whoa. I didn't realise quite how long I'd been procrastinating from review replies. D:

    Rawr.

    Dragonfree - Don't worry, you're still my best friend, it's just that SlowCrow is now my other, newest best friend. See?

    Yay for Milo's epic weakness whistleblower powers! And yay for Brian's concern being liked. I don't mind that you didn't mention it in the beta - a beta's not the place for positivity and squeeing, after all.

    I now officially have no idea which scene would be best as the end of the chapter, so I'm just going to be lazy and leave it like it is now.

    Sireath - You are awesome. Really. Don't you dare disappear again. :3

    I'm glad to hear I didn't just rush through this chapter to get to the next action sequence, as you put it, especially because there really is a long action sequence in Chapter 25 which I was quite eager to get to.

    Duly noted that the Carrie/Brian scene could have been more fleshed out. That's probably a case of something I did rush a little bit, because there was so much charactery stuff I had to cram into this chapter before the action starts again, and since Carrie's dad isn't a big part of the fic I guess I didn't see this as being one of the important bits of charactery stuff. But at least it was acceptable as it was; that's good to hear.

    Much, much yay for Grace shaping up to be popular as an antagonist. She'll be showing up more and more often as we get further towards the end of the fic, and she is indeed very fun to write, so it's good that she's liked by readers too. Thanks also for your comments on Milo's epic-failed-blackmail - that line about shards of bravery clattering to the ground was one of my favourites in the chapter. =D

        Spoiler:- Sireath's Inner Grammar Nazi:


    Sinnohdragon - Whoo, thanks for not giving up on me despite the long wait and having forgotten how much you like the fic.

    Go easy on Milo now - at least he was trying to be active about stopping MemorCorp. x3

    I'm afraid that despite my best attempts, Velotus refused to join Foliano and Ivyx in my sig. And there's no point me trying again because he currently hates me thanks to Chapter 26, which I've been writing. D:

    fishyfool - Yay for calm, collected, spirit-crushing antagonists.

    Carrie x Theo shipping? Heck no. I don't see how Carrie actually attempting to be nice to Theo after the realisation of having been a jerk towards him for the first twenty-three chapters of the fic could possibly imply any romantic feelings whatsoever. I can tell you categorically, right now, that there will be no Carrie x Theo shipping in this fic. There won't even be any other human shippings since I suck at writing romance. :/

    You're right that this chapter was more focused on the human characters, but that's just the way it happens sometimes.

    StarlightMew - Yay for a new reader! I believe you get cookies.

    I have to apologise for the unfairly negative view on Sceptile during the earler chapters. While I still dislike it, I've realised that that was going too far.

    Carrie, however, was fully intended to be a snappy jerk - that's just her personality. ^^; After her metaphorical slap in the face back in the caves, she should hopefully start being a bit of a nicer person now. "A bit" being the operative term.

    You're right, this fic hasn't had any fourth-gen Pokémon so far due to being set in Hoenn. The only way I could feasibly include one would be if it belonged to a trainer, which might happen sometime in the future. I just pick whatever Pokémon seems to fit; I don't actually have anything against Sinnoh.

    Anyway, thanks for reading!


    And now: good news! I finished writing Chapter 26 this morning, so all I need to do before I post the next chapter is a whole pile of proofreading, which should take a couple of days or so. After that, well, I don't really know. I have a week off this week, but I should technically be spending it revising since once I go back I have a week full of exams followed by another week half-full of exams. I will try and do as much writing as I can during this week, though. And after my exams are finished, school is over for the rest of summer. So yeah. =D

    Did I ever mention here how I really love Velotus? Because I do.
    .: Evolution is a battle .:. Something has to lose :.
    LOST EVOLUTION
    Chapter 33: Inside has been posted.


    Foregone Conclusion
    Spinoff/prequel/backstory/thingy to Lost Evolution, written for NaNoWriMo 2010

    Three Heads Are Better Than One

  17. #267
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    Default Chapter 25: Pursuit

    A brief thought/idea: I was re-reading through my PMs and was reminded of something I could do here which might be quite fun. You see, my friend Griff4815 and I were discussing the fic a while ago, and I mentioned how I'd seen a kind of "Character Q&A" type thing done for other fics (specifically, Dragonfree's) and that I'd quite like to do the same with my characters. Griff thought it a good idea, so he sent me a PM with a bunch of questions for some of my characters which I then responded to in-character. And it was seriously fun.

    So it occurred to me just now that I could open this up to all readers of the fic. Have any questions you'd like to ask the characters? PM them to me, and I'll have the characters answer them for you. Just bear in mind that they'll only know as much as they know in the actual fic (they won't be aware that they're fictional, either), and will only be willing to talk about what they'd be willing to talk about in the fic. This isn't for getting spoilers, this is for a bit of extra, and hopefully fun, insight into the characters.

    also, try not to ask too many questions at once. I don't want to be swamped. D:

    </endrandomthought>

    ---

    That proofreading went much more quickly/efficiently than I'd expected. It's taken a while, but here's the new chapter - I hope you enjoy it. =D

    Chapter 25: Pursuit

    Carrie entered the Pokémon Centre to see Theo already at the front desk and handing his Poké Ball to the nurse, having apparently put the strangeness of Carrie being nice to him out of mind for the time being. She sidled wordlessly up beside him, passing five of her Poké Balls over the counter, and watched them being placed with Theo’s in the machine.

    “You found my Absol this morning, didn’t you?” she asked the nurse while the healing device hummed away.

    The young man’s eyes flashed with realisation beneath his silver fringe. “Oh – you must be Brian’s daughter, then?”

    Carrie nodded. “How is he? Crescent, I mean, not my dad.”

    “He’s recovered fairly well,” the nurse said. “He should be okay to give back to you if you want him now – just don’t put him through anything too strenuous for a while, okay?”

    “Huh?” Carrie frowned, worried. She’d barely been awake when her father had told her about Crescent and couldn’t remember the details. “What’s wrong with him?”

    “He had some pretty nasty battle wounds,” the nurse told her, “but he’d also suffered the effects of a Perish Song, probably his own. It looks like he managed to stay conscious under the influence of the song much longer than any Pokémon usually lasts, and while he’s going to be fine, he’s still pretty exhausted.” He paused and looked intently at Carrie. “Normally this is the part where it’s my job to lecture you on not pushing your Pokémon too hard,” he said, “but judging by where we found him, I doubt you had anything to do with this.”

    Carrie shook her head slowly. “I didn’t even know he knew Perish Song. He’s never used it before.”

    The concern lifted from the nurse’s face. “Well, if you give me his ball, I can go and get him for you.”

    She passed Crescent’s Ultra Ball to the young man and watched him disappear through the door behind him. Theo, who had been waiting patiently next to her the whole time, took the opportunity to speak.

    “What exactly happened to you outside just now?”

    Carrie fixed her eyes on a point somewhere near the ceiling. “I don’t have a clue,” she muttered. “I did mean what I said, though, just in case you think I was momentarily possessed by someone else and the real me is back now.”

    “So… you did mean to be nice to me?”

    “Yes, I did,” Carrie said, still doing her best to look anywhere but at Theo.

    He must have noticed how awkward the conversation was making her feel as he changed the subject. “This is your hometown, right?” he said. “How come that nurse didn’t seem to know you?”

    Carrie lowered her gaze from the ceiling and shrugged. “Because he doesn’t? I’ve never seen him before. Must be new – new since I was last here, anyway.”

    “How long ago was that?”

    She paused. “I forget.”

    There was a short silence as neither of them had anything else to say and the nurse still hadn’t returned yet. Eventually, Theo filled it by muttering, “He kinda reminds me of Sam.”

    “Huh?” said Carrie, caught off guard.

    “The nurse here. Reminds me of Sam,” Theo repeated. “It’s probably just because you don’t get many male Pokémon nurses around.”

    “Yeah,” Carrie mumbled by way of response, remembering the tiny, run-down Pokémon Centre near the desert and its sole member of staff. “Hold on – didn’t we decide that Sam must have sold us out to Bad Light? Something to do with them knowing our route through the desert and Sam being the only person we told about it?”

    “That’s true, but I’m still sure Sam wouldn’t…” Theo’s eyes widened. “No! He didn’t!” His face lit up as he turned to look at Carrie. “Those men we saw – if you think about where they were in the desert, and where Steel Hill is – they probably didn’t know about our route at all!”

    “Wait, you mean…” The name Steel Hill had a new significance to Carrie now. “They were actually blocking the way to Archopy?”

    Theo nodded eagerly. “They could have been waiting to the east of the desert in case we worked out we were wrong and headed off to where Archopy really was. Well, perhaps. But this means Sam’s innocent!”

    “Yeah,” agreed Carrie, who was by now thinking on a less Sam-centric note than Theo seemed to be. “You know what this also means? They know where Archopy is. Must’ve known all along and just set up a trap at Northern Canyon to keep us away from it.”

    “Oh.” Theo’s face fell. “That’s… that’s not good.”

    They were kept from deliberating on this any further by the nurse returning with Crescent’s Ultra Ball in hand. “Remember,” he said as he handed it over. “Go easy on him for a day or so. He’s still tired.” Carrie nodded as the man gave back their other Poké Balls from the healing machine.

    The moment Theo received Kabutops’ ball from the nurse, he turned to leave the Pokémon Centre. Carrie grabbed his backpack and tugged on it, holding him back. “I know we seriously need to get going soon,” she said, “but could you just give me one moment? There’s something I need to do. It won’t take long.”

    Theo tried to pull away from her at first, but then he relaxed. “If you really must.”

    Carrie released him and moved over to the corner of the Pokémon Centre lobby, where a row of PCs stood against the wall. She knelt down and pulled out two Poké Balls, releasing Ivyx and Foliano onto the soft yellow carpet. They blinked and looked around, glancing up in puzzlement at the computers behind them.

    What…?” Ivyx asked vaguely.

    “We’ve worked out where Archopy is, and we’re going to find it,” Carrie told them. “I don’t have long – we need to get going as soon as possible.”

    So, why are you –

    “I don’t think I should bring Raptola along,” Carrie said simply.

    She waited a moment to let it sink in before continuing. “There’s probably going to be a lot more of those men where we’re going, and you know how much they scare him. I don’t want them using him as a hostage again – not just for his sake, but because it might stop us getting to Archopy.”

    Ivyx had been confused to begin with, but now she looked offended. “Are you saying our son is a burden?

    Carrie felt stung at the words, until she thought about it and realised they were largely true. “Well…”

    It’s okay, Ivyx,” Foliano said. “She’s right. If we want to find Archopy, we can’t bring Raptola. It would be better for everyone if we don’t.

    But… who’s going to take care of him if not us?” Ivyx looked at Carrie “Your father?

    Carrie shook her head. “He doesn’t really know my dad, and we don’t have time for drawn-out goodbyes. Plus, he’d miss us while we were gone.” She nodded towards the computers. “I’ll put him in the PC storage system. He won’t know a thing, and when this is all over, we can carry on like normal.”

    That…” Ivyx frowned at her trainer. “That doesn’t sound very nice, not letting him have a say.

    Carrie grimaced. “If he knows, he’ll be upset. That’s why I’m letting both of you have the say for him, right now. Are you okay with this?”

    Foliano nodded slowly. “It’s for the best.” He looked towards Ivyx, who seemed to be having trouble making up her mind.

    Eventually, she murmured, “I suppose it is.

    “Great,” Carrie said, jumping up from her kneeling position to log onto one of the computers. Raptola’s Poké Ball was placed into the transporter, and within a few moments, it had vanished in a flash of light.

    * * *

    From the window of an abandoned treehouse opposite, Vanessa watched the two trainers as they left the Pokémon Centre and made their way through the jumble of trees that called itself a city. They seemed to be in a quite a hurry. Vanessa couldn’t tell whether this meant that they had already captured Archopy and were trying to get it to a safe place as quickly as possible, or that they still hadn’t captured it and were rushing to find it before she did.

    Still, she’d soon find out which was the case. She turned away from the window as the trainers disappeared from view and moved her gaze to the laptop sitting on her knee. It was a good thing she’d been able to find an empty house close enough to the Pokémon Centre to receive internet connection. Joy, perching on top of the laptop, was peering upside-down at a download screen, chirping a soft “Tic” every time the bar indicating its progress moved visibly closer to the end.

    It was taking some time. Her attention wandering, Vanessa’s gaze was drawn to the pile of her Pokénav and Poké Balls on the wooden floor beside her. She narrowed her eyes. Thanks to that freak of a Skarmory destroying her bag, she’d had to leave everything else buried in the desert and would probably never get around to finding it again.

    Vanessa sighed. That wasn’t something to worry about now, she told herself; she could easily buy replacements anyway if she needed them. More important was this download – why was it taking so long?

    Its completion was eventually heralded by Joy fluttering upwards from the laptop to squeak excitedly in her trainer’s face. Waving the Togetic out of her line of vision as gently as she could, Vanessa turned to the screen and began setting up the program she had downloaded.

    It was quite simple, in premise; all the software did was track down and locate every Poké Ball, empty or occupied, currently being carried by a trainer in the Hoenn region. The search could be set to find only certain kinds of ball, as well as narrowed down if one knew where or when a ball had been purchased. An orange dot indicated an empty ball; a white one meant there was a Pokémon inside.

    The software wasn’t actually legal, but the authorities usually had a lot more to worry about with the kinds of people who used it than a simple invasion of privacy.

    Vanessa set the program to search for Master Balls bought in Mauville City two days ago and let it run. Before long, it had returned one result: one single orange dot flashing against the green background of a map of Hoenn. It was in Fortree City.

    So the trainers still had her Master Ball – but they hadn’t captured Archopy for her yet.

    They’d probably be a long way from her hideout by the time they did, too. It didn’t worry Vanessa – she knew of someone in Fortree whom she was sure would give her a lift to anywhere she needed to be. All she had to do was follow the progress of the dot and wait for it to change.

    * * *

    As Carrie and Theo had made their way out of Fortree City, the low, open forest had given way to a far more crowded mass of trees, with tall trunks and canopies so dense that barely any light found its way through to the soggy mess of dead wood and bushy undergrowth that made up the forest floor. Not that the sun would have been visible even without such cover; Carrie could tell from the pitter-patter high above that it was raining. Hard, judging by the huge drips that slid their way down the maze of leaves to plop annoyingly on her face. It wasn’t much of a surprise, since Route 119-and-a-half was slap bang in the middle of the two official routes in Hoenn where it rained almost constantly. But after the heat and stubbornly cloudless skies of the past few days, Carrie felt that the rain made for a refreshing change.

    Theo didn’t seem to be sharing her outlook. His usually bushy hair was plastered to his head, which hung low as he dragged his feet through the layer of squishy soil and rotten vegetation, leaving two deep troughs behind him where he had walked. Carrie reflected that it was no wonder Route 119-and-a-half was so rarely travelled on; while she herself loved all places green, this particular kind of forest was not the most pleasant of terrains for most people.

    A rustling from high above could be heard over the raindrops as the three Grovyle travelled through the canopies, gliding from treetop to treetop. Carrie gazed upwards to see if she could catch sight of any of them and found Velotus descending towards her, latching onto a bare trunk just above her head. Just as soon as he had landed, he propelled himself off it, brushing the branches of a shrub as he did so and flicking droplets of water into Carrie’s face.

    He alighted on a further tree trunk and waited for her to draw level with him before nodding pointedly at the bedraggled Theo. “Having fun, is he?” he said acidly. Without waiting for Carrie to answer, he leapt off and glided towards the next tree, leaves outstretched to catch the air.

    Carrie frowned at Velotus and quickened her pace to reach him again. “Don’t be like that,” she said, feeling slightly odd that she was defending Theo. “He’s the only reason we’re here now.”

    Exactly,” Velotus said in a low hiss just loud enough for her to catch as she walked by his tree.

    Of course. Velotus was still annoyed about him getting Archopy’s location wrong.

    Carrie glanced at Theo, who, having cottoned on to the fact that he was being talked about, was looking at them apprehensively. She sighed and watched Velotus glide forwards again. “If all you came down to do was moan at our mistake, you can go back up there again,” she told him. “There’s no point dwelling on it now.”

    Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of what might have been slight appreciation on Theo’s face.

    Velotus shook his head, sending raindrops flying from his crest leaf. “I actually came down to warn you. Foliano and Ivyx have a feeling we’re being followed, and they’re getting worried.

    Carrie stopped in her tracks. “What? We’re being followed, and you thought you’d start off by having a go at Theo?”

    Her words brought Theo to a halt, too. “We’re being followed?”

    The three of them stared at each other for a moment before increasing rustling from above brought them to their senses. Ivyx shot towards the ground in front of Carrie, landing with an ungainly skid. Foliano was not far behind.

    Ivyx grabbed Carrie’s trouser leg and tugged urgently. “It’s more than a feeling now,” she said. “We were so high up we could see them – there’s a Manectric, a Mightyena and a man on a bird Pokémon I’ve never seen before.

    “A man?” muttered Carrie. “Is he…?”

    Yes,” Foliano told her. “They’re coming towards us. Fast.

    Carrie shot a look of horror at the two Grovyle. She could see them growing jumpy, their expressions matched by Theo, who was looking increasingly confused and panicked.

    “Well, don’t just stand there,” she said. “Run!”

    They took off through the trees, ducking and darting wildly between trunks and branches with no thought in mind except putting as much distance as possible between them and their pursuers. The men from Bad Light had tried to kill them the night before, and the only thing running through Carrie’s head was that these Pokémon were here to finish the job. She stumbled on the uneven ground but regained her footing and urged herself onwards, slowing only slightly to keep level with Theo, who was in danger of dropping behind.

    Carrie knew that she was a faster sprinter than Theo but that he could keep up a pace for longer – she only hoped that their early warning and madcap dash would shake off the pursuers quickly before she became too tired to continue. A brief glance forward at Foliano as he grasped a tree trunk and Carrie caught sight of his fleeting panicked look behind her before he shot off again.

    Fearing the worst, Carrie looked back and saw two shapes rushing towards her – one black and shaggy, the other blue with flashes of yellow in the half-light of the forest.

    “They’ve found us,” she managed to gasp between breaths, hoping Theo could hear her voice over the splashing of rain and the pounding of feet. The increased panic in his face told her that he had.

    He thrust one hand into a pocket as he ran, with the words, “We’d better split up.” A Poké Ball was flung haphazardly out of his coat, rebounding off a tree before bursting open with a flash of light and a rasping screech from the Pokémon inside. “Aerodactyl, cover me!” he called, veering off to the left.

    Carrie caught a glimpse of leathery wings flapping after him before he was gone, leaving her desperately trying to keep up the pace with her Grovyle darting around her. She could vaguely remember it being official Pokédex data that catching a fleeing Grovyle in a forest was an impossible feat, but when the Grovyle in question had a fleeing human to protect, it was another matter entirely. A snarl from behind her – was it closer than before? – drove her further on.

    Something black whizzed past her ear and slammed into the ground in front of her, exploding in a spray of soggy earth and dark matter. Carrie yelped and leapt wildly to the side, her back slamming against a thick tree trunk.

    In the brief moment she was winded, she caught sight of a green streak flying towards the Mightyena, striking its back with a flash of white and shooting off again before the dog’s snapping jaws could retaliate. Angry at missing its target, the Mightyena whipped its head around and fixed its sharp yellow eyes on Carrie.

    Her own eyes widened as she threw herself back into action again.

    Further furious snarls erupted from behind as one of her Grovyle kept up the assault; she silently thanked whichever one it was and focused on the running, propelling herself aimlessly between trunks of trees and overgrown undergrowth that rose up in front of her. Her legs were tiring, but she urged them on regardless, frantically wiping her wet fringe out of her eyes as she ran.

    Something slammed into Carrie’s back, sharp claws digging into her shoulders, and for one terrifying moment she thought the Mightyena was upon her until Foliano’s voice hissed “Down!” into her ear. Already knocked off-balance by his weight, she dropped to the floor without stopping to wonder why. Crouching amongst soggy rotten leaves, she felt the world above her suddenly turn dark as a shape rushed past over her head, spraying her with droplets of rain.

    Carrie looked up to see a huge bird with blue-black feathers and a puff of white plumage on its chest wheeling around to face her. A man who had to be from Bad Light looked down at her from its back. She had just enough time to register that she’d narrowly dodged a Honchkrow’s Pursuit before Foliano leapt off her back at something behind her with a frantic battle cry.

    She was about to turn around when the Honchkrow dove at her again. Only Velotus leaping at it, his fist crackling with electric sparks, made it veer upwards as it passed over Carrie to dodge his attack. Behind, Foliano was engaged fiercely with the Mightyena. One of his Leaf Blades was clamped between the canine’s jaws, while the Grovyle focused his concentration on the thick green tendrils that flailed wildly underneath the Mightyena in an attempt to ensnare its legs.

    Carrie scrambled frantically up from the ground, breaking into a stumbling run before she was even fully upright. She had to keep moving; the man surely had a whole host of powerful Pokémon that could take hers in a stationary battle, but while she was in such dense forest, there was a chance of escape. Ivyx zigzagged from tree to tree in front of her, keeping watch over her trainer while her teammates held the pursuers off behind them.

    A man’s cry of pain came through the forest from somewhere off to her left. Following it almost immediately was a panicked, furious screech that had to be Aerodactyl’s.

    Caught by surprise, Carrie skidded to a halt. “Theo?” she gasped between pants of breath.

    Was she supposed to go and help him now? Was that what friends did? Surely she couldn’t just leave him – she hadn’t left him back in the caves, but that was because she’d needed him and he might still have woken up, whereas now…

    Ivyx had come back towards her, snapping her out of her crazy, jumbled thoughts. “We’ve got to keep moving,” she said, panic evident in her voice. “You can’t just stop here.

    Carrie waved vaguely towards her left. “Theo,” she panted, “in trouble… shouldn’t I?”

    Ivyx’s gaze was suddenly fixed on a point behind her, and she grabbed her trainer’s arm frantically before shooting forwards again. Carrie looked around to see the Mightyena, free of the Grass Knot, rushing towards her through the undergrowth. She turned and ran; despite having glimpsed one or both of her Grovyle in hot pursuit of the Mightyena, she knew they wouldn’t catch it in time if she just stood still. Saving Theo was hopeless – right now Carrie had to save herself.

    She knew she was slowing, but the Dark-type still wasn’t upon her. Silently thanking Foliano for weakening it, she half ran, half stumbled onwards, her breathing heavy in her ears.

    A smug cry from Velotus and a pained whine from the Mightyena told her that yet another strike had hit its mark. As she kept running, she heard a firm, almost calculated growl come from the canine, and the next thing she knew Velotus was roaring in furious indignation as the forest was bathed in an intense white light.

    The whiteness soon fell behind as Carrie ran on. With great relief, she realised that the Mightyena was no longer following – whatever Velotus was doing, he was keeping it at bay. She almost stopped running then and there, but suddenly Foliano’s voice was right next to her ear, urging her on just a little further. Then he was in front of her, darting from one tree to the next along with Ivyx, giving her just enough resolve to keep going.

    He must have noticed the exhaustion in his trainer’s face, because before long he and Ivyx came to a halt by a tree that had fallen across Carrie’s path. She took the hint and gladly stopped running, all but collapsing onto the tree trunk without even caring that it was already half rotten. More light found its way down to the floor due to the fallen tree having cleared a space in the canopy above, and the raindrops were dropping freely onto Carrie’s head, but she barely noticed. She was slumped on the tree trunk, bent double with exhaustion, breathing like it had only just been invented.

    Ivyx came to stand next to her and placed a claw on her shoulder. “Are you okay?” she asked, concerned.

    “I will be,” Carrie managed to splutter between gasps for breath. There was a long pause as she panted some more before she managed to ask, “What happened with Velotus?”

    The Mightyena called him a coward,” Foliano said darkly. “He won’t be coming back until he’s finished with her, I expect.

    Carrie smirked. “And the Honchkrow?”

    Is that the bird’s name? Velotus didn’t hit it much, but it looked kind of… tired, like it had come a long way. It fell behind, and I don’t think it’ll be catching up any time soon.

    “Come a long way?” she mused as her strength slowly seeped back to her. “You mean it came all the way from Northern Canyon?”

    They came from that direction, so…” Foliano shrugged. Carrie reflected that it really didn’t matter where the Pokémon had come from. What mattered was that she and Theo were being chased by people who wanted them – what? Dead? Captured? Hauled back to Northern Canyon to be shoved back inside those caves and crushed under another rock slide?

    She shuddered.

    Whatever they wanted with her, Carrie knew she would have run again soon; this moment of calm wouldn’t last. Foliano, Ivyx and Velotus were the only Pokémon who would be any help to her fleeing through a forest, as well – Empathy would be too busy running to concentrate on his attacks and Crescent needed rest. She only hoped the three Grovyle would be enough.

    Ivyx was staring off into the distance between the trees. “What about your friend?” she said. “You heard him cry out. Do you want to go and help?

    Carrie’s gaze followed Ivyx’s, but she shook her head. As much as part of her was telling her to, she knew it would be impossible. “We’d just be getting ourselves into an even bigger mess. I just hope he hasn’t been –”

    She was gladly cut off from saying things she didn’t want to think about by a crashing of undergrowth as Velotus shot into the clearing, grinning to himself. “That’ll be the last time that bitch calls me a coward,” he muttered smugly.

    Ivyx seemed amused. “Don’t you ever recognise a deliberate Taunt when you hear one, Velotus?

    In that one moment, Carrie was reminded of life before she’d seen Archopy – back when Velotus took delight simply in battling for the sake of battling, when Ivyx was not plagued with worries about her son and could enjoy life as it came.

    Then a searing stream of flames enveloped the forest to one side of her, and reality snapped back into place.

    Carrie leapt off the trunk so suddenly she almost tripped over it, letting out a strangled yelp of surprise and panic. Her previous exhaustion completely forgotten, she turned and pelted away from the clearing as the flames dissipated; thankfully, the forest was soaked through too much for the fire to catch hold. The three Grovyle were moving with her again – at least none of them had been caught by the blaze, although Foliano and Ivyx’s eyes were wide with shock.

    Only just making itself heard over Carrie’s panicked breathing and frantic footsteps, something was crashing through the undergrowth towards her. Spurred on by adrenaline and fright, she kept running, too focused on going forward to think about looking back. All she could do was stay as far ahead as possible in the hope that the dense forest would hide her.

    A line of glowing seeds from high above cannoned into the ground right in front of her, and she skidded madly to a halt before she could hit them. Above, a Shiftry was clinging to a tree trunk; Velotus was already on his way up to confront it, but before he could strike, the Shiftry had disappeared in a haze of darkness.

    The next thing Carrie knew, a mass of white hair was jumping out of a black hole into her face as the Pokémon slammed her with its wooden body, knocking her onto her back. The Shiftry darted off onto a tree where Foliano met it with a Leaf Blade, but it held its ground and glared back with sinister eyes. Taking a deep breath, the Pokémon exhaled a hugely powerful gust of air that, with a wave of its fan-like hands, twisted into a whirlwind and whipped fiercely around the forest.

    Remembering something about the eye of a whirlwind being safe, Carrie stayed as low to the ground as she could and crawled forward against the winds. Above her, her Grovyle and even the Shiftry itself clung tightly to the trees as they swayed, their branches fluttering wildly. Before long, the winds pushing against Carrie disappeared, but she stayed low, afraid to stand up as the chaos continued to whirl past beyond the eye of the storm.

    The next thing she knew, another Flamethrower ripped through the forest, trapping her in a tornado of fire. The flames swirled around her, carried on the twisting winds, hissing as they turned raindrops to steam. The spinning inferno sent a wave of searing heat through her, and she curled up as small as she could, screwing her eyes shut from the intense orange glow. Tense with fear, she could only desperately hope she was wet enough that she wouldn’t become a blaze herself.

    Then it was over. Carrie numbly took in her surroundings, head still spinning, blinking from the sudden lack of bright light. The scorched, unconscious forms of Foliano and the Shiftry lay on the ground among blackened vegetation which mercifully hadn’t caught on fire due to the damp. The whole area was hazy with steam as the rain continued to fall, hissing as it met the ground.

    As Carrie recalled Foliano, Ivyx appeared beside her, having somehow managed to escape the blaze. She was pulling frantically at her trainer’s arm in an attempt to get her moving again while muttering something about an Arcanine with a man on its back. It took the sight of the flame-orange hound approaching, snarling even as its cream fur was drenched with rain to snap Carrie back into action.

    She leapt up and stumbled into a run, focusing on the shape of Ivyx darting among the trees in front of her. Part of her wondered why she was even still fleeing; the men pursuing her clearly weren’t about to give up. Her legs were burning, and it wasn’t from the flames. She desperately wanted to just lie down and rest – if she was lucky, they wouldn’t kill her, just stop her from reaching Archopy. She hoped.

    But Archopy was the very reason she was running, she told herself, watching Ivyx fly between trees ahead of her. Velotus had appeared beside her, and the Arcanine chasing her down had still not caught up – perhaps it had come a long way, just like the Honchkrow? And as long as there was the slightest chance of her escaping this and finding Archopy, Carrie knew she’d never forgive herself later if she gave up now.

    Two bursts of white Poké Ball light flashed up, one on either side of her. A moment later they faded, and a faint buzzing sound filled the forest. Velotus, seeing a target, launched himself towards a spot somewhere behind Carrie, but his growl of frustration told her he’d missed.

    She ran on, following Ivyx’s lead, attempting to pace herself since the Arcanine was still showing no signs of catching up or of breathing more fire at her for the time being. A pair of Ninjask suddenly zoomed into the space in front of Carrie. She would have ducked, but Velotus came flying towards them, blades primed, and they zipped away again. He landed some way ahead of her and looked around for his foes.

    The next moment there were four of them surrounding Velotus. He snarled as one of them made a swipe at him and instinctively tried to counter the blow with his blades; the Ninjask vanished into thin air like it had never existed. Furious, he locked onto another of the insects and darted towards it, but as he did, all three of them disappeared from view.

    Carrie noticed an oddly glowing stick pass under her feet as she caught up to Velotus, before there was a red flash of a Poké Ball recall beam followed by a white flash of another being thrown. The brightness grew to almost blinding proportions, stopping Carrie in her tracks as she shielded her eyes.

    When it faded, three Steelix had appeared in front of her.

    Carrie stared transfixed at the one in the centre as it rose up to its full height, slamming its huge head against the tree trunks on either side of it. With a strained cracking of wood, they crashed to the ground.

    Almost glad of another chance to catch her breath, Carrie looked down at Velotus and Ivyx, who had come to a halt on the ground beside her. Velotus looked as ready to fight as ever, but for some reason, Ivyx was also grinning.

    Catch me if you can,” she said, darting towards the Steelix on the left and leaping over its tail in what was clearly meant to be a move too speedy for something as cumbersome as a giant steel snake to react to.

    Except it wasn’t.

    The Steelix flicked its tail upwards the split-second Ivyx was above it, throwing her into the air. In a flash of silver, she was sent flying back as if shot from a cannon. Carrie watched in horror as Ivyx slammed into a tree behind her, clearly out cold. Even Velotus looked shocked.

    Steelix were not meant to move that fast.

    Carrie looked up from recalling Ivyx and found herself facing the Arcanine. The man on its back was grinning, for all the world as if this were a friendly Pokémon battle and he’d just got one up on her. She stared.

    “Baton Pass,” he said by way of explanation. He made a circling motion with his finger at the Steelix, and Carrie suddenly found her path blocked by chunks of metal on all sides as the three snakes formed a ring around her and Velotus with their lower segments. They were trapped.

    “Give up yet?” said the man outside the circle, still grinning.

    Carrie couldn’t deny that it looked bleak. Even if she and Velotus somehow managed to get past those tails despite Ivyx’s failed attempt, the prospect of being chased through the forest by a trio of Steelix with the speed of a Ninjask wasn’t a happy one at all.

    Velotus had other ideas. He’d climbed up onto Carrie’s back, and before she could ask him what on earth he was doing, a swirling tornado of leaves had whipped up around them. She felt Velotus’s claws digging into her shoulder from the effort of controlling what was easily the biggest Leaf Storm he’d ever produced. The foliage whirled around, smacking against the Steelix’s armour, but they didn’t seem particularly deterred.

    Then there was a bright light and an intense heat against Carrie’s back, and she found herself trapped inside a whirlwind of fire once again as the leaves caught alight. She winced from the heat and Velotus’ claws digging in even harder, hearing the Steelix roar in pain as the burning shreds whipped past their metal skin.

    It was over quickly, the rain extinguishing the flames as Velotus dropped from her back. But it had been enough – only one Steelix stood before them now, its Double Team clones having been eliminated.

    Carrie looked down at the Grovyle, surprised to see him panting. He looked her momentarily in the eye and hissed, “Go,” before turning to face the Steelix, resolute despite the odds stacked against him.

    She stayed where she was, unwilling to leave her friend as he threw himself into an almost-hopeless battle on her behalf.

    Go!” Velotus insisted as he launched himself towards his foe.

    Whether it was the extra force in his voice or the fact that the Arcanine was on the move again, Carrie gave in and ran. Having had a chance to rest, she was faster than before, but the same could be said for the canine. Once again she could hear it crashing through the forest behind her, and she knew she couldn’t outrun it for long.

    A Flamethrower shot by to her right, sending her veering to the left to escape the excess heat. She sped up, but something seemed off – it was almost as though the attack had missed her deliberately. Something else was off, too, she realised: she could no longer hear the Arcanine’s footfalls in the undergrowth. It had stopped chasing her, but why?

    Before she had time to wonder, an orange glow coupled with a wave of heat from behind her told her the Fire-type wasn’t aiming to miss this time. Desperately, she forced her aching legs to carry her faster, urging herself on, feeling the fire close in.

    Something snagged on her foot, and she flew face-first into the ground. The flames roared past overhead.

    Counting herself lucky, Carrie made to get up, only to find that she couldn’t. Her legs were tangled in something – the same thing that had tripped her up. Looking back at her feet, she saw that it was some kind of sticky pink string, winding its way further around her even as she watched. She frowned.

    A green-and-yellow chameleon-like Pokémon materialised out of thin air on one end of the string, and Carrie grimaced as she realised that the Kecleon had caught her with its tongue of all things. She kicked and struggled, but no matter what she did, the tongue’s grip held fast. At this rate, she wouldn’t be going anywhere.

    And if she wasn’t going anywhere, she might as well fight. A quick fumble around in her pockets and Empathy and Crescent’s Poké Balls were in her hands.

    The moment they were, a giant orange-and-cream blur smacked into her arms; a moment later, the balls were lying several metres away from her and being picked up in the Arcanine’s jaws.

    “Dammit!” Carrie hissed, kicking a few more times with her tangled legs, but to no avail.

    The man riding the Arcanine looked down at her, still seeming as though he thought the whole thing was some incredibly fun game. “Going to give up now?” he asked, grinning.

    Velotus! Carrie thought desperately. Where was he? Had he escaped the Steelix? So long as he was still conscious, he could find her and get the Kecleon off her – there was still a chance…

    A sudden gust of air blew a faceful of raindrops at her as something large and dark flew into her vision. She squinted up at it, seeing the Honchkrow from earlier, still with a man on its back but now with something in its claws as well.

    Carrie’s heart sank. Hanging from the Honchkrow’s grip was a very battered Velotus, still conscious but with a look of frustrated submission on his face.

    She gave the man on the Arcanine one last rueful glance before closing her eyes and slumping in defeat.

    ~~~

    << Previous chapter
    Last edited by elyvorg; 21st June 2009 at 11:48 PM.
    .: Evolution is a battle .:. Something has to lose :.
    LOST EVOLUTION
    Chapter 33: Inside has been posted.


    Foregone Conclusion
    Spinoff/prequel/backstory/thingy to Lost Evolution, written for NaNoWriMo 2010

    Three Heads Are Better Than One

  18. #268
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    ^_^ Told you that the next time you'll see me is when you post a new chapter, and here I am as promised. :P

    But, I have to warn you, I really think I don't have much wit left in me since my schoolwork has been eating away at all my energy and time for the past month. I mean, just look at how short this intro is; it's pathetic compared to my other ones!

    However still, this crow will still give it a shot, but no guarantees. Or refunds. Or cash backs. >_>'

        Spoiler:- So I heard u liek cawmentz:


    -___________- Kaw.

  19. #269
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    Wow... and now for my opinions:

    1.
    Waving the Togetic out of her line of vision as gently as she could, Vanessa turned to the screen and began setting up the program she had downloaded.

    It was quite simple, in premise; all the software did was track down and locate every Pok&#233; Ball, empty or occupied, currently being carried by a trainer in the Hoenn region. The search could be set to find only certain kinds of ball, as well as narrowed down if one knew where or when a ball had been purchased. An orange dot indicated an empty ball; a white one meant there was a Pok&#233;mon inside.

    The software wasn’t actually legal, but the authorities usually had a lot more to worry about with the kinds of people who used it than a simple invasion of privacy.
    uh-oh... cheater alert....

    2.
    Velotus shook his head, sending raindrops flying from his crest leaf. “I actually came down to warn you. Foliano and Ivyx have a feeling we’re being followed, and they’re getting worried.”
    oh crap. This can't be good...


    3.
    A sudden gust of air blew a faceful of raindrops at her as something large and dark flew into her vision. She squinted up at it, seeing the Honchkrow from earlier, still with a man on its back but now with something in its claws as well.

    Carrie’s heart sank. Hanging from the Honchkrow’s grip was a very battered Velotus, still conscious but with a look of frustrated submission on his face.

    She gave the man on the Arcanine one last rueful glance before closing her eyes and slumping in defeat.

    ~~~
    NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It can't be!

    it was good... poor Carrie....

    Awesome fan-fics (please read them.)
    PMD--Gemstone, by sweet_piplup123
    PMD: Dawn Guardians, by Koridojo_Blaziken
    [ENJOY!!! ^-^


    Lyria the Level 5 Female Symbol
    Get your own Glitch Pokemon at Glitch City Labs!
    PMD Fables: Legend of Lucario
    Coming soon to a Fan-Fiction forum near you...

  20. #270
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    Wow... and now for my opinions:

    1.
    Waving the Togetic out of her line of vision as gently as she could, Vanessa turned to the screen and began setting up the program she had downloaded.

    It was quite simple, in premise; all the software did was track down and locate every Poké Ball, empty or occupied, currently being carried by a trainer in the Hoenn region. The search could be set to find only certain kinds of ball, as well as narrowed down if one knew where or when a ball had been purchased. An orange dot indicated an empty ball; a white one meant there was a Pokémon inside.

    The software wasn’t actually legal, but the authorities usually had a lot more to worry about with the kinds of people who used it than a simple invasion of privacy.
    uh-oh... cheater alert....

    2.
    Velotus shook his head, sending raindrops flying from his crest leaf. “I actually came down to warn you. Foliano and Ivyx have a feeling we’re being followed, and they’re getting worried.”
    oh crap. This can't be good...


    3.
    A sudden gust of air blew a faceful of raindrops at her as something large and dark flew into her vision. She squinted up at it, seeing the Honchkrow from earlier, still with a man on its back but now with something in its claws as well.

    Carrie’s heart sank. Hanging from the Honchkrow’s grip was a very battered Velotus, still conscious but with a look of frustrated submission on his face.

    She gave the man on the Arcanine one last rueful glance before closing her eyes and slumping in defeat.

    ~~~
    NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It can't be!

    it was good... poor Carrie....

    I was folowing your supercool fan-fic, I just didn't feel like tlaking. Haha....

    Awesome fan-fics (please read them.)
    PMD--Gemstone, by sweet_piplup123
    PMD: Dawn Guardians, by Koridojo_Blaziken
    [ENJOY!!! ^-^


    Lyria the Level 5 Female Symbol
    Get your own Glitch Pokemon at Glitch City Labs!
    PMD Fables: Legend of Lucario
    Coming soon to a Fan-Fiction forum near you...

  21. #271
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    I love this fic.

    I've just been starting to plan some of the stuff that's going to happen in the climax, and... I really love this fic. :3

    SlowCrow - Your review was, as ever, greatly amusing; I believe I'd started laughing out loud about halfway down it. One thing I do want to say about your reviewing style, though - while your snarky comments are very entertaining, there are a few times where I get the feeling you're trying to make a valid criticism, but as it's the same kind of snark as the rest, I don't know whether it's that or just you joking around as usual. If you do actually have some criticism with the more snarky points, I'd love to hear you clarify on which bits you were trying to criticise (I think I particularly got the impression that something about the Vanessa scene seemed a bit too convenient to you) in either a follow-up reply or a PM. Because god knows this fic doesn't get enough criticism. x_x

    That said, I'll assume you're going to mention any intended criticisms to me later and will, for now, reply in as much seriousness as you seem to have commented. :3

        Spoiler:- WORDS.:

    Once again, thanks much for being awesome. 8D

    mew_nani - Thanks for responding; even though your comments weren't much, it's still good to hear from my readers.

    (incidentally, I can tell it was accidental, but you seem to have double-posted. Could you possibly delete one of them to stop it cluttering up the thread?)

    uh-oh... cheater alert....
    As I said to SlowCrow - why is this worrying? Vanessa's assumptions are wrong; Carrie doesn't intend to capture Archopy at all.

    oh crap. This can't be good...
    Sure it is. It means I get to spend the rest of the chapter writing a nice long chase scene. :3

    NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! It can't be!
    Nah. This fic would be no fun if bad things never happened to the main characters. :3

    I was folowing your supercool fan-fic, I just didn't feel like tlaking. Haha....
    I'm glad you did in fact decide to talk after all, since it lets me know you're still reading. There are a whole bunch of people who posted once in this thread to say they've read the fic and will be reading more, but then I haven't heard anything from them since. Where are you all? I want to hear from you - I want to know you're reading. I honestly don't mind if you don't have much to say, just so long as it's something. Because saying something is better than saying nothing at all.
    .: Evolution is a battle .:. Something has to lose :.
    LOST EVOLUTION
    Chapter 33: Inside has been posted.


    Foregone Conclusion
    Spinoff/prequel/backstory/thingy to Lost Evolution, written for NaNoWriMo 2010

    Three Heads Are Better Than One

  22. #272
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    I've currently read up to Chapter 2 and WOW! I'm loving your fic, and the concept around it is great. I like Carrie, and her four Grovyle. My favourite's gotta be Raptola, he is so adorable and reminds me of my cousin! So I'm going to keep reading, and sorry for the not-very-good review!
    this hope is treacherous, this daydream is dangerous.
    ~I've claimed Turtwig~

  23. #273
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    Yay cookies!
    Great chapter. You including a forth gen pokemon ^_^ I just noticed the lack of them thats all. It would make sense to not have any in Hoenn.
    I don't really think you were too harse on Sceptile. I just kinda like them although I prefer Archopy as an evolution. Sounds like Archaeopteryx the prehistoric reptile-bird creature, must be where you got the name from.

    I found one mistake no big deal though

    Velotus had other ideas. He’d climbed up onto Carrie’s back, and before she could ask him what on earth he was doing, a swirling tornado of leaves had whipped up around them.
    AS you can tell I like Flygon! I think you should have a flygon in your story!! haha just kidding. Anyway I look forward to the next chapter
    I love



    Thanks to Gladeshadow for this userbar

    StarlightMew's PokePet

    Aurora the level 55 Vaporeon!

  24. #274
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    Hmmm... this piece has been awarded the best chaptered-fic, has the best original Pokemon Species, & is a joint winner for the best plot...

    Looks like the perfect piece with which I can challenge my Nazi-ing abilities!

    I have noticed that you're a professional when it comes to writing, especially since this is all done by yourself for the most part. Winning three awards is absolutely no small task, & so, I've come here in order to challenge myself: what I would like to do is to see if I can find anything wrong, grammar-wise, inside this.

    You might think that your piece is Picture Perfect, but I'm a firm believer in the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect written work, & as such, there can be something that neither you nor anyone else have found, so I might surprise you. I've been known to find things that are very subtle & are very easily missed from those who don't have a sharp eyesight. Lastly, I have checked several other written works before yours, including Mr. Griffin's (Griff4815)

    I haven't read your entire work just yet, but I'm pretty damn bored & my comp is prone to overheating if I play any games on it, so expect a huge review from me soon...

    I've also noticed that another person has plagiarized your work, & I would like to say that whoever has done this, I would like him to burn in the fiery depths of hell!

    Other than that, I'm just making myself known here... for now...

  25. #275
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    TurtwigFan1 - Thanks for reading! I hope I can start seeing your comments each chapter once you've caught up - just say as much as you can about various bits that caught your eye and I really won't mind if it's not that much.

    StarlightMew - Thanks for commenting. Even if you don't, I still think I was too harsh on Sceptile, so... :/

    You're absolutely right, Archopy's name comes from Archaeopteryx - that and the word "canopy".

    Thanks for the catch on that mistake, as well.

    Brumrha - Um.

    While I appreciate that you're going to point out any grammar mistakes that I may have been unaware of, I can't help wondering if you're really doing this for the right reasons.

    Firstly, and this is something you said that irked me a lot: I do not think my fic is perfect. Nowhere have I ever said that my fic is perfect. It is far from it, and I know this. Anyone who did think their fic was "perfect" would have to be incredibly arrogant, and I'm offended to see that you apparently think I have this kind of arrogance just because I somehow managed to win some awards.

    Let me make it clear that I have absolutely no idea how I won those awards. There are several better fics than mine on this forum, and as far as I was aware, those fics were more popular than mine as well. The only reason I'm mentioning the awards in my sig is because it could attract new readers, who I always like to see - not because I want popularity and an ego boost, but because I love my fic to pieces, and it always gives me a good feeling to know that other people have taken the time to read it.

    So, I ask you: are you doing this because you want to take the time to read my story? Or are you just doing it for the pleasure of tearing apart a highly-regarded fic? From your post, it seems like the latter is most likely the case. While I won't mind if you pick holes in my grammar, I can't help but think you'll be missing the point. People who read fics do so because they want to enjoy the story. People who review fics do so because they want to help the writer improve. Are you really here to do either of those? Or do you just want to boost your own ego by picking apart the work of a writer who is - in your words - a "professional"?

    Aside from all of this, you seem to be missing one very big point - one which was stated several times in the Authors' Café thread you created not so long ago. Grammar is really not the make-or-break factor of a fic. I mean, it's not as if I won those awards because my grammar is good, is it? What really matters is the real meat of the story such as the plot, the characters, the writing style. It's those kinds of things that I assume won me the awards, and it's those kinds of things that you appear to be ready to completely ignore in favour of pulling apart my grammar. If you really do want to do this just for the sake of tearing down a well-regarded fic, surely pulling apart my plot and characters (which do have several flaws; I can assure you of that) would be the most appropriate way to go about it?

    Eh. The bottom line is, while I never thought I would ever want to say this to a potential reader, I ask that you reconsider your plans to read this fic. I can't help but get the overwhelming impression that you're doing it for all the wrong reasons and are really missing the point.
    .: Evolution is a battle .:. Something has to lose :.
    LOST EVOLUTION
    Chapter 33: Inside has been posted.


    Foregone Conclusion
    Spinoff/prequel/backstory/thingy to Lost Evolution, written for NaNoWriMo 2010

    Three Heads Are Better Than One

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