Okay... my first non-PM fic review and second review overall. Though that PM wasn't so much of a review as it was praise. Trust me, that was one darn good fic.
Yours, however, is also very good, especialy for your first one.
You're obviously writing about something you're passionate about, (stares at sig+avatar for a few seconds, then continues) your characters have personality (esp. little baby Raptola ), and to top it off, your descriptions of emotion, battle, and scenery are excelent.
I'm glad you gave a legitimate reason for Carrie hating you-know what (and yes, I shall be appeasing you by not saying its name.) rather than just saying she thinks it's fugly. I personaly don't share your loathing of you-know what, (Not that it's my favorite Hoenn starter- I loves me some Swampert.) but that destription of the tail as a "Christmas tree" is great. Due to your hatred, I'm now pretty sure who "They" are.
ankokuryu said that you aren't quite as good a fleshing out humans, but Ill let you slide for now, since it's only the third chapter. I also think I spotted some grammatical/spelling errors, but I'm not certain.
So anyways, I'm sad that you'll be gone and won't be able to post any more chapters. Hopefuly you'll be able to do so soon after you get back. Keep on writing!
(P.S.-I'm not sure if i should really be critiquing, if that's how you spell it- I haven't even written any fics of my own! Not yet anyway...)
Last edited by InsaneTyranitar; 20th September 2007 at 5:49 PM.
Oneshots and perhaps fanfics coming soon.
In the meantime, want your fic reviewed or beta read? Send me a PM asking! I'll see if I can make time.
(Keep in mind I'm not usually partial to really dark fics, so I may take longer to get to those.)