*mumbles about stupid computer not working*
I tried to review yesterday, but my computer suddenly decided to be annoying and I couldn't post. Anyway, here I am once more, looking at a gorgeous chapter with the needed (splendid) description, the (superb) emotions and the (super) grammar.
First of all, whee! I knew it was Archopy, I figured it out the day before you posted the last chapter, and boy Archopy looks even better if an Grovyle fan describes it, everything elegant and agile, that's Archopy. Anyway, I'm glad I was right and that the descriptions were super good!!
Of course, it was bound to happen that Sceptile was going to be described and you did that just perfectly, using negative-sounding words for describing the CHRISTMAS TREE CREATURE OF DOOM!!!
I'm curious to see what's gonna happen next, although I hope that Carrie's not just gonna follow Archopy, the dialogue between her father was also nice and it was a good idea to introduce a family member of her as well. The reason for Carrie's loathing of SCeptile was also good, although a bit rushed, but anyway, You once more produced a wonderful chapter, and you have me filled with jealousy
as always, Highlights:
beautiful wording, and a quite touching moment, this Archopy is once more... FREE!!!It worked. She could feel herself lifting from the ground, supported by the full spread of her leafy wingspan. Screeching with joy, the sun on her back, she rose up into the clear blue sky. Her soul mate from the past had lived in fear and misery her entire life; it was time for this Pokémon to start making the most of what she had.
Still screeching, she soared over the forest, gazing down upon the dark green sea of trees below.
so that is your excuseOver the years she’d grasped the basics of their language and could understand the gist of their speech.
Cute little Raptola, hugs the little baby (woops, little)Raptola jumped, startled by his trainer’s show of emotions
Raptola, you're so damn cute and you know it x3“Grooooo,” Raptola moaned from her shoulder. He was young and not as articulate as the other Grovyle, but Carrie knew it meant something along the lines of “Quiiiiick.”
Taddaaaa! Archopy makes its entrance, and boy how gorgeously you described that creature, it's beyond words O___OImmense wings, large pastel green leaves instead of feathers whooshed through the air, spread out to catch the wind on a downbeat as it soared over. The body, similar to a Grovyle’s but longer and darker, rushed past, allowing Carrie only a glimpse of a diamond shape on its underside. The tail flexed elegantly, the five or so leaves on its tip rustling as it did so. Twisting around to see it fly away, Carrie stared at the creature with awe and complete respect.
Nice description! in the ugly way BTW, I just had to bold Carrie's comment, it's so hilarious!A large, upright lizard with a squat, triangular head and leering, bloodshot eyes. A skinny upper body atop a wide lower body that looked almost fat in comparison, the whole of it a bright, unnatural green. None of the featherlike leaves of Grovyle, this Pokémon’s two arm leaves jutted from its wrists at pointless angles. Its back was studded with six bulbous, yellow seeds, and the tail was long and dark green with spiked “branches” coming off in all directions. Some people found its tail cool. Carrie thought it looked like a Christmas tree.
This just sounded so much like Sceptile that I had to highlight itshe finished sceptically.
This is ~Aimi Hanako~ signing off