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Thread: We are like a Rose

  1. #1
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    Default We are like a Rose

    A/N: [Contestshipping] Hello! This story is a contestshipping oneshot that I wrote not that long ago. I'm new at Serebii, only joined last night and am looking forward to exploring this site a bit more. This is one of my first Pokemon stories though not my first official story.

    Unfortunately, this one shot is a bit short but it still is over a page on Word. The story is also rated G with some fluff between the Contestshipping pairing.

    Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon - there is one line (or two) featured in this oneshot that belongs to M*A*S*H

    ~ We Are Like A Rose ~

    May’s view was covered with something red; layers of soft and beautifully scented petals of a perfectly grown rose. Her sapphire eyes looked behind, noticing the green patch of hair and the emerald eyes looking into hers.

    Drew; a grin was pasted on his face as he gently twirled the rose in his slender fingertips.

    May smiled as well, taking the rose delicately from Drew’s hand, as though the green stem was fragile and would snap at the slightest push.

    “I’m guessing it’s for my beautifly, right?” she asked mockingly.

    She leaned forward to Drew, whose smile didn’t leave, and raised her eye brows in question.

    The green haired co-ordinator grunted softly, turning to the side and flicking his flaxen hair.

    “Of course; but I want to tell you a different reason as to why I give you a rose,” Drew explained, facing towards the brunette who was now listening intently.

    “You’re not going to go out of character are you?” she asked suspiciously, having a feeling that if the rival co-ordinator ever did go out of his normal demeanour she’d be too scared of his ‘nice’ persona.

    Drew chuckled.

    “Yeah, I guess so.”

    May held the rose to her chest, leaning on one foot as she stared at the green haired boy intently.

    “You see; I give you compliments or advice for your next contest, right?”

    May nodded, looking at Drew with seriousness but also astonishment because of his sudden change of nature; though she half expected that.

    “So I build you up, I’m your strength; therefore the stem…” he paused before chuckling. “I also wear green.”

    May smiled, he continued.

    “You wear red, the colour of this rose…” Drew smiled too, collecting the rose from May’s fingers and twirling it in his hand. “… and with my help, your performance always blooms into something more beautiful.” ‘Just like you,’ he thoughtfully added after.

    “We compliment each other you see; I help make the rose more beautiful. You rely on me to stand tall and confident.

    I’m the stem, you’re the rose…” Drew finished giving the rose back to May, slightly blushing before immediately turning away and flicking his fringe. May looked gob smacked; deciding whether or not she heard the green haired boy correctly or not. She was practically speechless. “Though you’ll always need me, you’re hopeless on your own!” he laughed, walking off.

    That brought May out of her trance and she angrily slammed a foot down, yelling at Drew for saying that she was hopeless.

    “Take that back!”

    The rival simply put his hand up in response, saying ‘good bye.’

    The brunette softened, finally feeling the strong stem in her fingers that she hadn’t noticed before. She was too out of it to notice the smooth feeling through her gloves.

    Gently, she looked at the rose, twirling it in her finger tips just like Drew. She watched the crystallized dew, amongst the petals, fall to the inner part and soak into the stem.

    It was like it was saying ‘Thanks.’

    ‘You know; to make a beautiful rose, you have to shovel a lot of manure… in this case Drew,’ May smirked, turning in the opposite direction and walking off, leaving her strength, her stem, behind.

    ~end~

    A/N: Short and sweet is how I would put it, hopefully understandable and original. I have other Contestshipping oneshots but are not yet posted onto this site; they will be added sooner or later.

    Reviews are welcomed!

    ~Au revoir
    Sullivan-
    Last edited by Sullivan; 27th October 2007 at 10:04 AM.

  2. #2

    Thumbs up

    first things first, yeah, it was short, but like you said, short and sweet. this is actually very good for one of your first fanfics. congrats on a job well done. ^_^

    i didn't notice any spelling or grammer mistakes, but had to make note of these:

    “We compliment each other you see; I help make the rose more beautiful. You rely on me to stand tall and confident
    ooo, such a deep man! and it fits too.

    “Though you’ll always need me, you’re hopeless on your own!” he laughed, walking off.
    *sigh* Drew...

    ‘You know; to make a beautiful rose, you have to shovel a lot of manure… in this case Drew,’ May smirked, turning in the opposite direction and walking off, leaving her strength, her stem, behind.
    XD
    Beautiful ending if i do say so myself. it was just perfect and not a moment off. great job!

    keep posting your other shipping fics here. i'd really like to read them. ^_^ judging how this one is, you're a pretty good author. keep up the good work!

    Tff
    It's been a long time... But it's so good to be back. <3
    Deviantart ID page: TranquilSimplicity
    Life giving you lemons? [Insert witty response here]

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Default

    ooh this was on ff.net right? I remember reading it xD anyways! It was short but I like the theory of them being like a rose, and needing each other so cute =3 This was really deep, and the ending was wonderful, keep up the good work, you should write more one-shots =D
    [IMG]http://i26.*******.com/246057s.jpg[/IMG]
    kyo sohma is my bishie (:

    &*heres__ to the note |she| wrote
    well RAISE a finger
    obscene g e s t u r e s , so she said
    but i only said sweet things to get you in b e d;

    touch me, tease me - a day away
    drew club + couples claimed ___.

  4. #4
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    Default Not bad, actually pretty good.

    Yeah, like everyone else was saying, a bit short... okay a bit shorter than a bit short. (Hmm... maybe I should have made that bit shorter... XD) However, it would have made it kinda boring to make a short story longer. This part made me worried:

    “Of course; but I want to tell you a different reason as to why I give you a rose,” Drew explained, facing towards the brunette who was now listening intently.
    For a few seconds I thought you were going to make Drew totally OOC and ruin the fic, but you managed it well. SOOO... all in all, I give you a rating of, drum roll please, 7.5. I would encourage you to write more (soon).

    Sincerely,

    Absol Master
    -I am a proud Christian and member of Christian Alliance-


    Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints-Ephesians 6:18

    Got a prayer request? Just PM me!

  5. #5
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    Hello!

    Thanks for reviewing and yes... hehe... I know it was very short; it seems longer on ff.net (I guess that answers your question 'HelloKitty17.)

    Thanks Absol Master for pointing that line out; after reading it I know why you got worried. Though I try my best to make the characters in character so it wouldn't ruin the fic and thanks for saying I managed it well. At least, you didn't think it was totally OC, all the way through. 7.5? That's pretty good for my first fic on Serebii; it's more then half-way at least. Thanks!

    I had a bit of trouble on how to make Drew start comparing the two of them to the rose, because I couldn't think of anything that would make him totally in character.

    My other oneshots won't be as good as this one but who knows? We'll see once I post them.

    Thanks for visiting my story.

    ~Au revoir
    Sullivan-

  6. #6
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    ‘You know; to make a beautiful rose, you have to shovel a lot of manure… in this case Drew,’ May smirked, turning in the opposite direction and walking off, leaving her strength, her stem, behind.
    Oh f*ck. That was thee most funniest line ever! x3 Starting laughing in Art class, everyone stared! -shifty eyes- Anyways, very cute, just like your other one this contained just the right amount of fluff!^^ This is very original and characters were totally in character; which is something some peoples can't do. I thought it was a great story and that you are a great writer, keep up the good work!

    Bi-Bi,
    Kat~

    Ain't he cute?


    Name: Scarlet
    Adopt one yourself! @Pokémon Orphanage

  7. #7
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    Default

    Good story...
    Short and Sweet!
    Great Work.
    You don't think
    there will be any
    Ruby/Sapphire remakes?


  8. #8
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    Default

    hey, that is a very good one shot. I am a major major fan of contestshipping, i love love love love love (get the point?) may and drew. im sooooooo sad theyre gone from the show, i rlly enjoyed their fights. drew is always so laid back and nasty, just like me!!! (jkjk im not that mean,, only to ppl that are annoying)

    An abused girl's dream... to find happiness.


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