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Thread: Lucky Sevens (One-Shot) (AdvanceShipping) (Repost...)

  1. #1
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    Exclamation Lucky Sevens (One-Shot) (AdvanceShipping) (Repost...)

    Oops. I didn't realize I deleted this one. I was trying to change the title long ago, and the forums froze. I assumed I had succeeded, and continued with my boring life. Later this year, I was forum surfing, trying to find it, and it was gone. If it's illegal to repost after accidental deletion, please tell me.

    Anyway, this was a nifty little one shot I released on 7/7/07 (My time.) It is rated G.

    It is Advanceshipping, obviously. I think it is a rather nice piece of work, though. Review if you feel like it, (or if you don't) it brightens my day!

    Lucky Sevens


    *BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*

    Ash awoke to the lovely sound of a blaring alarm clock.

    *BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*

    He turned it off with rather more strength than was necessary. He grumpily threw the blanket he had been under across the tent, where it landed on a small electric mouse. The Pokemon’s instinct kicked in, as it was trapped in a small, dark space. It blasted a hole in the tent (and blanket) with a powerful Thunderbolt attack. As Ash pulled his belongings out of the smoldering wreckage in a small green backpack, he realized that his blanket would never feel a human’s touch again. He sighed. That lightweight, breathable blanket was from his mom, made especially for him for the warmth of a Sinnoh summer.

    Pikachu stood a few feet away from the tent, watching it burn down. The mouse shot Ash a remorseful look, and Ash couldn’t resist forgiving it. He leaned down so that he was only a little taller than the Pokemon, and whispered, “It isn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have thrown it at you. I was grumpy. Will you forgive me?”

    Pikachu nodded and leapt into its trainer’s outstretched arms. Ash nearly dropped the Pokemon when he realized that he still wasn’t wearing very much. He set Pikachu down, and ran over to his backpack to get dressed. Since he no longer had a tent to change in, he walked a few feet into the woods, and pulled his clothes on. He wore a dark blue vest with a yellow zigzag on it, and a white shirt underneath. He wore the same style of baggy jeans he had worn since he could first remember, along with a snazzy pair of multicolor pull-on shoes. Finally, he searched his back pack for his red and blue hat, but found the bag completely hat-less.

    He returned to his campsite and searched earnestly for his hat. The article of clothing was nowhere to be found. Dang. I can buy a new tent, I can get a new blanket. But my HAT? I don’t even want to think about it!

    Just then, his young friend Dawn emerged from her tent, looking bright and cheerful. She saw the less-than-happy face on her friend, then the spot he had slept the night before. “Do I even wanna ask?” She asked, carefully inspecting the burnt patch of grass.

    “Nope.” Ash replied dully. The coordinator declined from asking, per Ash’s recommendation. Ash watched her pack her stuff without a word. When she finished, they looked over to where their older friend Brock lay spread out on a tarp. He had decided not to use a tent. He awoke with a start, and, seeing Ash and Dawn already set to go, shot into motion. He haphazardly folded the tarp and shoved it into his backpack. He ran into the woods to change, and emerged quickly. He grabbed his backpack, and was already twenty feet away when he realized that Ash and Dawn weren’t with him.

    “Come on, guys! We GOTTA get to Jubilife! Now!” and he started pulling them down the path.

    “Hey, Brock, what’s the rush?” Dawn asked, bewildered at her friend’s strange behavior.

    Brock slammed his palm to his head and looked at the white hat bearing girl, who also wore knee high socks, pink boots, and a black and white shirt. “You don’t know? It’s July seventh, 2007! The luckiest day of the CENTURY! I gotta get to Jubilife so I can meet some girls and get lucky!”

    Ash rolled his eyes, then voiced a very important concern. “What about breakfast?”

    Brock took off his backpack and pulled out a box of breakfast bars. “Here.” He said, handing them each one. “Now let’s GO!” And the breeder set off down the road at a fast pace, his friends barely keeping up.

    Ash unwrapped the bar, and was about to take a bite when his foot hit a rock in the road. He fell just right, and his ankle began throbbing in pain. His bar meanwhile, shot off into a puddle of mud. Dang it! First my hat, and now this! He quickly got up, dusted himself off, and limped after his friends, as fast as he could go. They hadn’t even noticed him fall, so he had a lot of catching up to do, and his ankle screamed in protest.

    He went on like that for some time, until his ankle could bear it no longer and he fell over, panting. Brock and Dawn noticed, this time, and they both looked at him in concern.

    “You okay?” Dawn asked.

    “N-” Ash changed his mind when he saw the pained expression on Brock’s face. “-Yeah, I just…tripped. Let’s go.” Dawn shot him a glance that said that she didn’t believe him, not for a second, and Ash held a finger up to his mouth, a pleading look on his face. Dawn ignored his gestures, and tapped Brock on the shoulder.

    “What?” Brock snapped, stopping to look at the both of them.

    “I think Ash is lying. He’s been limping for a while.” Dawn said in a quiet voice, avoiding Ash’s gaze.

    “No, I’m fine. Really!” Ash said quickly. “I’m just trying to get this fold out of my sock, it’s right under my foot.”

    “Okay.” Brock said. “Let’s keep going. Ash, why don’t you lead? You need to work on your navigating, and I can help you.” Ash walked up in front of Brock, and started walking again. He couldn’t help but limp a little. Brock stopped him. “Ash, sit down. You’re hurt. I’m not getting going again until you tell me what’s wrong. And by the way, where’s your hat?”

    Ash looked away at the mention of his hat. “It burned down with my tent when I scared Pikachu into using Thunderbolt.”

    “Okay, now why are you limping?” Brock asked.

    “I’m working on my acting skills, so I can act if I want to when I get older.” Ash lied. Dawn actually laughed at his weak excuse. Brock glared as well as he could with his squinty eyes.

    “You’ve never shown any interest in acting before, so why now, all of a sudden?”

    “Just for fun. I didn’t want to walk in such boredom.” Ash said, his face growing red.

    “Okay. If you don’t want to tell me,” Brock said, “I’ll just assume that you are too injured to move. I’ll call for help.” He said, pulling out his Pokenav.

    “Fine.” Ash said. Brock put the device away. “I think I twisted my ankle a bit, that’s all. Can we go now?” Ash asked, not wanting to ruin Brock’s day of luck by having to wait around.

    “Nope. I’ve gotta see it.” Brock said.

    Ash pulled up the leg of his jeans over his right ankle. He took off his shoe, and winced as the friction pushed and pulled at his joint. The ankle was purple, swelling, and twisted at an odd angle.

    “Okay, we’re stopping here until you feel better. It looks like a sprain.” Brock said with a sigh.

    “Hey,” Dawn said while looking at the map Ash had dropped. “It looks like there’s a cabin a little down the road. We could bring him there and let him rest.”

    “That’s a good idea.” Brock said, scratching his chin. “But how are we gonna get him there? He definitely can’t walk.”

    “Yes I can!” Ash declared indignantly. They ignored him.

    “We could build a stretcher and carry him there.” Dawn suggested. “We just need two long-ish poles and a blanket. I’ll go an’ get the poles.” She said before running off into the woods. She re-emerged a time later, and she and Brock made a stretcher by putting the poles at one-third marks, and folding the blanket over.

    Brock towed Ash on to it, and then they lifted him up into the air. They carried him a while, but no cabin was seen. Dawn shot the map another glance. “Brock, we’ve been going the wrong way.”

    Brock, being the MOSTLY well brought up boy that he was, (he was raised rather poorly in respect to females) opted not to utter an obscenity, but instead just kicked a rock with unnecessary force. “OUCH!” He screamed, barely holding back a word that would cause unnecessary questions from the ten-year-old Dawn. He did, however, drop the stretcher, which in turn caused Dawn to drop it as well.

    Ash hit the ground hard, and only just kept in a scream, for he saw Paul coming the other way. Oh, he’d better keep his mouth shut. Paul stopped in front of them, and bent down over Ash. ”Heh. He’s just like his Pokemon. Can’t take a thing. Hit ‘em once, and-”

    “Aghhh!” Brock yelled, swinging his backpack into the purple haired trainer. “Shut up you moody dork!” The backpack hit with great strength, and Paul ran off, suddenly very scared of Brock’s power. He stopped, once out of reach, and threw one last insult. “He’s so wimpy, he has to be carried by a ten-year-old girl, and guarded by a girl craving punk! And he’s in such pain, that he can’t just go on to Jubilife, no. He has to go back to Oreburgh!”

    “Paul,” Brock said, dislike evident on his face, “I read the map wrong. We’re heading to Jubilife again now, and if you give us any more trouble, I’ll show you a real battle.”

    Paul had turned around and left before Brock finished. Ash heard Brock mumbling under his breath. Dawn looked down at him, a sad smile on her face. “I’m sorry he’s like that. He’s just jealous. You’ll beat him soon.”

    “Thanks.” Ash said.

    Brock and Dawn lifted again, and began backtracking toward Jubilife. They stopped when they saw a tree across the road. Its trunk looked like it had been cut by a Pokemon’s claws. There were two sets of footprints near it, one set of shoes, and mammal tracks, that were more scorch marks than anything. “Paul.” Brock said. Ash groaned.

    “I’m gonna hurt him so bad when I can walk again.” Ash said angrily. “I’ll get Sceptile, or Squirtle, and kick his Electabuzz’s monkey butt.”

    Brock looked at the tree intently. “He put it across the road just perfectly, and its trunk is too tall for Dawn to climb. Dang. We’re gonna have to walk around.” They bushwhacked a short distance, until they could return to the road.

    After many hours of dodging trees, they arrived in Jubilife at last. Brock left immediately to find an Officer Jenny, after being turned down by the Nurse Joy that gave them their room. Dawn muttered something about shopping, and wandered off alone. Ash just sat in the room. Some lucky day this turned out to be. I lost my hat, blanket, and walking ability. And I bet Brock doesn’t get lucky, he never does. Ash was surprised when Brock came back with a girl.

    “Hey Ash. Remember her?” Brock asked.

    Ash looked for a few seconds. “May? You got lucky with MAY?”

    May looked offended. Brock spoke. “No, silly, she’s like SIX years younger than me! She was here for some coordinator show at the TV station, and she saw me. I, however, don’t have time to chat, ‘cause I’ve got a girl to catch.” And Brock rushed from the room.

    “Hi.” May said nervously, just standing there.

    “Hi.” Ash said back, not sure how to act. “Do you wanna… sit down, or something?” He asked, gesturing at a chair.

    “Okay.” May said. She sat down, and looked around the room. Standard trainer room. She thought. “So how is your day going?” She asked.

    “It’s looking up.” Ash said, with a smile. “I’m glad you were here, because I really missed you.”

    “So,” May asked, trying to ease the tension, “what is Brock’s rush?”

    “Oh, he thinks, that just because it’s July seventh, 2007, that he can get LUCKY with a girl.” Ash said with a snicker.

    May laughed nervously. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you. It’s almost the end of the coordinator season in Johto, and I was wondering if I could join you three after that.”

    “Aw, May, that sounds like a great idea!” Ash said, beaming.

    “Good, ‘cause I really missed you, too.” May said, moving to sit next to him on his bed.

    Oh gosh, she’e sitting next to me. Ash thought nervously. Don’t get all worked up, she probably still regards me as a friend. Ash thought.

    “Actually,” May said, “There is another reason that I want to travel with you. During the time I was away, I realized how much I missed you. I think t-that I…”

    “Love you.” Ash finished, grabbing her in a hug. “Me too, if that’s what you meant.” Ash’s heart was pounding a mile a minute.

    “Yep, that’s it.” May said. She leaned in toward Ash, and planted a kiss on his cheek. Ash blushed tremendously, but paid her back with the same motion. “Oops, we both have pretty bad accuracy. Let’s try again.” May said, closing her eyes and leaning toward Ash.

    Ash leaned in too, and, just as their lips touched, Brock came in, followed by Officer Jenny, and the last person Ash expected to see…Paul.

    “Oh, sorry.” Officer Jenny said, as she started leaving again.

    “Don’t be.” Brock said. “I can do it with you if you don’t wanna be embarrassed.” Faithfully, Croagunk jumped from Brock’s backpack and slammed his glowing purple fist into Brock’s side. “I meant, I can help you with Paul.” He said weakly, his eyes watering.

    “So why did I have to see Ash sucking the face off of some bimbo?” Paul asked. “Was it just to get me to spill the beans out of surprise by acting out an impossible event?”

    Before anyone could say anything, May was off her feet and had slapped Paul. “You,” She said, are a little disease, and I can tell. I can’t believe Ash doesn’t get his Charizard, or his Sceptile, or his Donphan, and just obliterate every Pokemon on your team.”

    Paul’s eyes widened as May listed off Ash’s more impressive Pokemon. “You have a Charizard? And a Sceptile?” He asked, his face paling.

    “Yep, but that’s beside the point. Why are you here?” Ash asked.

    “Oh, he’s here for a sentence.” Brock said joyfully. “We needed a witness to admit that Paul dropped those trees, and I thought you could testify.”

    “Well, I-” Ash began saying.

    “Good, I believe you.” Officer Jenny said. This young man,” she said, giving Paul a shove, “will be moving all of the trees off, and then cleaning the police station for clogging the roads. Come on.” She said to Paul, as she led him away.

    Ash cracked a smile as Brock followed, looking ready to be turned down. “He’s got no chance.” Ash said to May.

    “Not near as much as you.” May said, and she kissed him. The kiss was short, but it was sweet. “I’ve gotta go now, you know, put on the show and then complete the Grand Festival. How do you feel?” May asked softly, as she got up to leave.

    “Lucky.”

    @=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=@

    Well? Like it? Hate it? Either way, please review!
    Last edited by Lord Zant; 4th November 2007 at 5:24 AM. Reason: Changed Pokemon in accordance to the Anime...

  2. #2
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    Yay! I read this a whiles back, and I made a review on it I think! Glad to see it's back in action, since it was a pretty good piece of work if I do say so myself.

  3. #3
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    Yeah, you sent a PM review. Thanks for the compliment.

  4. #4
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    This was, and always is, a good fic. How come it got deleted again?
    -My wacky, Advanceshipping eFics:
    Trials of the Elite Four
    War of Legends
    Dream or Future?

  5. #5
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    Well, I never saw this fic, since I only joined a couple of months ago.

    It would be wierd if Brock did get lucky with May O_o

    Nonetheless, it's an awesome fic.
    FC: 1761 9350 7870

    Credit to RaiBlade for the userbar
    Through the Fire and Flames (DragonForce) is claimed by me.

  6. #6
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    =\ People who have read this already, you still need to actually review or it's spam.
    And Lord Zant, in your repost, you forgot the rating. Please add it ASAP.
    Encyclopika's Fic of the Moment:

    Status: Chaptered | R | Contestshipping | Finished

    Encyclopika:
    Made the banner
    Is a GIRL. >.>;;
    Has a deviantART account and a Tumblr
    Is on Fanfiction.net.
    Need a moveset for a specific Pokemon for a specific contest? PM me!
    Don't reply to my infractions. It's not gonna change anything.

    Random friend requests do nothing. Let's actually talk first. >_<

  7. #7
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    And Lord Zant, in your repost, you forgot the rating. Please add it ASAP.
    Done. Thanks for the help.

    It would be wierd if Brock did get lucky with May O_o
    I try not to think about that.

    Nonetheless, it's an awesome fic.
    Thanks. I feel all happy inside now...

  8. #8
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    Well, I like reading one-shots, their short, sweet and get to the point in one post XD So I'll review:

    Ah, what can I say?
    Hm, well for one thing, from the beginning, I can already tell what's going on, and I like the idea, the fanfic has a good idea, it's not everyday someone comes up with a good fanfic. But your fanfic could be a whole lot better if it wasn't so rushed.

    At the beginning, I can tell that you put your time in to the description and the story and all but towards the middle and the end, it begins to feel like a train speeding towards it's destination. But that's no fun, I'd like to see the scenery and all. So take your time, taking your time with your fics makes the fic much better in the end, makes readers more happy.

    Not only that, but you're characters are somewhat OOC and flamed(Paul for example) Ash, on the other hand, was good until the end. If he had a love interest in May, wouldn't it have been cuter if you let out small hints here and there about how he wanted their relationship to change and in the end sealed it off with them admitting their feelings towards one another?

    Brock was an ooc too. But that's it for my review

    I give your fanfic a 3/5, meaning it was good but there's still room for improvement.

    It would be wierd if Brock did get lucky with May O_o
    I agree O_o;;

    well, ciao!
    Last edited by Uzamaki Hinata; 5th September 2007 at 3:25 AM.
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