Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Coordinator Travels [Contestshipping Fic]

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    A place.
    Posts
    54

    Default Coordinator Travels [Contestshipping Fic]

    Well, ok...So my first fic wasn't so great, but now I did it on Microsoft Word and I think I finally got it down now...Well...For a rookie fic, I should say, but still. I'm confident about this one, please let me know how you guys feel about it and I'll continue it if it's understandable for you guys...K, I'll stop talkin now....Enjoy^^

    rating:PG
    **********
    Chapter 1: The Journey Begins


    “May! There’s someone on the phone for you!” Caroline,
    May’s mother called out.

    “Be down in a minute!” May yelled back. May had just returned from traveling in the Kanto region with her brother, Max, and her friends, Ash and Brock. May is a Pokémon Coordinator. As in, she enters Pokémon in contests to show how stunning they can be on stage using their moves.

    May was about to leave to go to the Johto region to enter contests and travel all by herself for the first time. But, she wasn’t really alone. She was going there because her rivals, Drew, Harley, and Soledad; said they would be there. Drew was the one that told May back in Fennel Valley he was going to Johto and that Soledad might be there as well. She didn’t know why, but she felt that she wanted to see Drew. It felt like she was being pulled wherever he went. Yet she didn’t endure it really.

    She actually enjoyed seeing Drew after they became more than rivals. They are now great friends. Drew helped her get over her dramatic loss at the last Grand Festival when he appeared in Fennel Valley. And she now actually enjoyed talking to him and battling him.

    May was now finished dressing into new threads for her Johto journey. She was wearing a short, red, casual bikers’ dress, which had white poke ball patterns on the front pockets, and a thick black ring below the collar. She went up to the green visiophone and was a bit startled, but mostly joyful when she realized that it was Drew who called. ‘How’d he get my number?’ she wondered as she mustered a cheerful, “Hello,” to the green-haired boy on the screen. He was wearing a new outfit as well. He was wearing a black, baggy t-shirt with a white, sleeveless vest. She couldn’t see below his waist, but she was sure that he was wearing jeans again. She then noticed he was also wearing a purple wristband and a blue hi-tech watch.

    “Hi there, May,” he said in a friendly tone.
    May had so many questions, even though it was only over a phone call, “How’d you get my phone number? Why are you calling? Where are-” May was cut off.

    “Geez, May! Calm down!” Drew didn’t like to be grilled like that over a phone call. “In your order of questions, I have the same order of answers. I looked in a phone book, I’m seeing if you got to Johto yet, seeing you aren’t, and I’m already here!” Drew tried his best to let that all out in one breath.
    “Well, Drew, I’m not in Johto yet, but I was just on my way to the boat dock. Why are you looking for me? You could just get a ribbon at the next contest, I’ll catch up to you, I always do…” May explained.

    “Yeah, but it takes you a while,” he tried to defend himself so May wouldn’t get suspicious.

    “I know that, but I always do either way!”

    “Not fast enough to beat me though…”

    “I’ve beaten you once at the last Grand Festival Drew! You know that! Why are you getting me so worked up again?”

    Drew just stood in silence. He thought of an explanation, but couldn’t think of one.

    “Well?” May grew impatient.

    “Don’t know how to explain it…”

    “Oh,” May now understood “But why are you being so shy?”

    Drew was silent once again. He didn’t want to mention anything at the wrong moment. If he confessed his love for her by phone, he would certainly regret it. “I’ll…I’ll tell you once you get here. May, just hurry up if you want to see anyone you know at the next contest, ok?” Drew looked eager and hopeful at the same time. He wanted to see May at the next contest, but he didn’t want her to know that. He just wanted to see her in a contest soon.

    “Oh, ok. I’ll go finish getting ready,” May said, and the screen went black as she hung up the phone. She sighed. For she knew something was up with Drew, but what? She just wanted to go to Johto and find out the only way Drew would let her, in person.

    **********
    There's the first chappy! Yeah, it's a bit short, if it's continued, then I'll try to make it longer if I can. Don't worry, it'll be discontinued if no one understands it. But please review and tell me if I should continue it^^

    ~Shuukara
    Last edited by Shuukara; 2nd January 2008 at 12:16 AM.
    DAML Forever

    Espeon and Umbreon are my favorite Eeveelutions!

    Shiny Goals: Beautifly (in progress), Jumpluff, Umbreon, Ninetails, Absol, Gardevoir/Gallade, Roserade, Altaria, Swellow

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Switzerland, Europe
    Posts
    1,469

    Default

    Meh, ok out of the three same threads, I'll pick this one -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by Shuukara View Post
    She went up to the chat…screen …phone… …thingy;
    Don't use that, just say the visiophone, or something like that and describe it, we'll know what you're talking about

    besides that, not many mistakes, yet you can add more description or text.
    Don't try to rush things, with trying to confess love so bluntly at that point in time. It could be out of character a bit.

    Keep it up
    Because of serebiiforums, my Life has been put on hold...

    ...wait, that sounds wrong...
    ...yeah, it's the other way around.

    My Works : A, B, C, D, E

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    A place.
    Posts
    54

    Default

    Hey...I apoligize, but...After a huge writer's block...I realized that I will have to discontiue this fic...Too many ideas for other fics are popping into my head & I'm really sorry for this...If anyone wants to continue it on their own....Feel free.............Again...I am real sorry for any inconvienence...

    ~Shuuki~
    Last edited by Shuukara; 5th January 2008 at 6:46 PM.
    DAML Forever

    Espeon and Umbreon are my favorite Eeveelutions!

    Shiny Goals: Beautifly (in progress), Jumpluff, Umbreon, Ninetails, Absol, Gardevoir/Gallade, Roserade, Altaria, Swellow

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •