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Thread: Pickin' Lemons (Ironwillshipping - PG)

  1. #1
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    Default Pickin' Lemons (Ironwillshipping - PG)

    YEAH. It's a SHIPPING fic from ME in AGES. Er, anyway, without further ado, here's the fic that I wrote for Chelc.


    Title: Pickin’ Lemons

    Author: Eefi-chan.

    Disclaimer: Pokémon, Riley, and Dawn belong to Pokémon Company and Nintendo, so I do NOT claim ownage over any of the characters used in this short story. The only thing I own is the plot and that’s it.

    Author’s Notes: This time, I’ll be using the dub names for the characters and again, only the two people in the shipping. This is also my Christmas gift to Chelc.

    Warning: None.

    Genre: Romance. Comedy (implied).

    Rating: PG.



    “Watch your head from the lemons, Dawn!”

    The young navy-haired girl stepped away from the lemon tree she had been picking at and looked toward the older guy who stood a few trees away from her. He had Prussian blue-colored hair with a dark blue hat covering most of his head and eyes, offering the young adult a mysterious aura. Sporting a black turtleneck shirt with gold patterning at the top center, a dark blue suit jacket, fully buttoned, covered most of the shirt. At the waist level, he attired a pair of dark brown pants that fell loosely over his polished black shoes.

    “Riley, I know what I’m doing,” Dawn said, waving a hand over to her right in a nonchalant fashion. She had long navy hair, which flowed freely against her back to nearly her waist, and matching blue eyes that glimmered under the sun. Dressed in a black, sleeveless V-necked shirt over a white undershirt, it ended in small triangles over a pleated pink miniskirt. Below, she wore black stockings with a pair of matching pink snow boots. A scarlet red scarf wrapped around the young girl’s neck twice before falling behind her.

    “I’m really not so sure,” Riley said, with uncertainty clear in his voice. He walked over to the young girl and took her basket of unfilled lemons. “Let me help you.”

    “No, I’m fine!” Dawn pouted, tugging on the basket in her direction. “No need to worry!”

    Riley heaved a heavy sigh, looking down at the basket momentarily, before he looked into Dawn’s determined eyes. “Look at me, Dawn. I’m just worried that you might bump your head when you’re picking lemons at the lower part of the tree. Just let me help you, will you?”

    “Riley, I’m capable of picking lemons without making a mess,” Dawn persisted, still looking into the worried but darkish eyes of Riley. She noted that he sported a manly but cute look on him when he was worried about her. Knowing better than to just say that aloud to him at a time like this, Dawn kept it to herself, but couldn’t help but feel more adoration for the older guy. He made her feel in ways that no one could ever arise in her, even with all the people she’s met from traveling with Ash Ketchum and the gang. Riley was someone special, someone she didn’t ever want to part for just a day.

    “Dawn…”

    “I’m fine, Riley,” Dawn said smiling, reaching one hand out to caress Riley’s cheek. “No need to worry!”

    “If you say so…” Riley said slowly, returning the warm smile to the innocent girl. He then pulled the basket toward his body easily from the girl, because she had released one hand to touch his cheek. “But I’m still going to help you, Dawn, and you can’t say no!”

    “Riley!” Dawn called out, reaching her arms out when Riley started running ahead of her. “Come back here! I’m going to get you!!”

    “See if you can!” Riley called back, turning his head around to face Dawn while running at the same time.

    Riley gripped the basket tightly in front of him, running in circles around the lemon trees from Dawn. The grass crackled softly under the soles of the running couple’s feet, bending their ways in the light of love, while the two exchanged shouts of teasing from returning to them to playful vengeance. That was when Riley nearly crashed into a lemon tree, causing the basket to fly out of his hands and backwards into the air. Not having to see the flying basket, Dawn continued to chase after Riley when the basket landed right-side-up on her head with the lemons slipping to the grass.

    “Riley! Help!” Dawn cried out as the basket covered her eyes.

    Before Riley and Dawn knew it, Dawn had collided into the tree that Riley missed a few seconds ago. The blue-haired girl fell on her behind, her scarf wrapped around her arms in different positions, and the basket falling down to her right foot. Her hand reached immediately to the top of her head, rubbing lightly.

    “Ow, ow, ow,” Dawn sniffed. “That hurts…”

    Riley had hurried over to Dawn’s side and knelt down beside her on the grass. Placing his right hand atop Dawn’s head, he leaned forward and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. A faint blush fell on her face immediately before both her hands covered her face.

    “You’re just so cute, Dawn,” Riley smiled. “But are you okay??”

    “I’m fine now…” Dawn said softly, her hands still covering her entire bright red colored face. “Riley…”

    “Yes, Dawn?”

    “I… I… Never mind.”

    “No, what is it? You know you can tell me anything, Dawn.”

    “It’s just… I… I… Riley, um… I really… really lik— never mind!!”

    Dawn began shaking her head rapidly from side-to-side, tears suddenly falling from her face. She wanted to tell Riley how she felt, how she wanted to always be with him, and that she always misses him incredibly when she’s apart from him. But at the same time, Dawn felt Riley might reject her nicely or that Riley has someone special already. She wanted badly to tell Riley about her feelings, and this was not the first time; she had several urges a few times back then.

    Riley suddenly removed his hand from Dawn’s cheek, which caused her to stop shaking to look at him. He pulled her closer to him with both his arms, until she could hear his heartbeat. Riley then wrapped both arms around her back. Closing his eyes, Riley rested his chin on Dawn’s head, letting the smell of blown leaves and fallen lemons blow through the two of them as they were holding each other tightly in a much warm embrace. However, the only scent that Riley could smell was the jasmine scented shampoo, which Dawn used last night.

    “Dawn, you don’t have to worry about anything,” Riley said reassuringly, his eyes still tightly shut. “Just tell me anything that you have on your heart.”

    “Mmm…” Dawn muffled out, her face buried in Riley’s chest. She felt oddly comfortable there; like she belonged in his arms and just by his side. She really enjoyed the feeling elicited by Riley’s sudden but warm embrace, something that offered her strength. “Riley… I… I… really want to tell you that…”

    “Yes, Dawn?”

    “I…” Dawn began, when she buried her face deeper in Riley’s black turtleneck shirt. Then in one breath, Dawn blurted out: “IreallyreallylikeyouandIdon’twanttobeawayfromyoue ver!”

    Riley chuckled. “Can you say that a bit slower, Dawn? I can barely understand what you just blurted out in one breath without exhaling.”

    “Riley!” Dawn pouted, hitting Riley playfully on the arm with a hand. “I said I really, really like you and I… don’t want to be away from you ever. I really don’t like the time that I’m apart from you, Riley. I always miss you so much when we separate…”

    Riley was surprised. Not just surprised, but he was overjoyed. Since the day he met this young trainer, he knew she was full of potential and she was capable of soothing any Pokémon out there, including Legendaries. But not only that, Riley was captivated by her innocence, her beauty, her elegance, and just the way she was. The short time that the two were together in the Iron Mountain seemed like years, and by the time they reached the end, Riley felt a clanging of pain in his chest. He didn’t want to part with Dawn even back then, so what made Dawn think that he wanted to be away from her?

    “Dawn…” Riley started to say, while his hand stroked the young girl’s smooth hair. “I also really like you too. I’ve liked you since the day we met in Iron Mountain, and I didn’t want to part with you ever since then.”

    “Riley…”

    “Dawn…” Riley said, still stroking the girl’s hair softly. “Will you be mine? Now and forever?”

    A mix of emotions came in Dawn. She was surprised and overjoyed, but most of all, she felt like very special. It was like a dream come true, only that she hoped this wasn’t a dream, but a reality. Riley’s arms around her felt warm and perfect; it was a feeling that Dawn wanted to keep with her for as long as she can. But most of all, she felt pure happiness for her feelings were returned by the only guy she could have her eyes for.

    “Y-yes… of course, yes!” Dawn spurred out. “I want to be yours forever, Riley!”

    “Thank you, Dawn,” Riley smiled. It was a smile that shone through all darkness; one that could brighten any day and could cause only one girl to be aroused of many emotions.

    “No, thank you, Riley,” Dawn said, hitting Riley softly on the arm before putting her arms around his waist again.

    With that, the two remained in their much warm embrace under the bright sun and the lemon tree. Why they went lemon picking was beyond anyone’s comprehension, but perhaps it held a deeper meaning for the two. Well, now the two revealed their mutual feelings and there appears to be nothing that will ever come between the two. Or will there be? FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER… or will there be a next chapter?!


    A/N: My lame attempt at ending this fiction and trying to sound funny. But yeah, that's it... I can’t think of another way to end it or continue writing. Sorry if it seemed a bit rushed and stuff, since I might've at the ending. But I think it turned out better than my Respectshipping lemo--fiction.

    I know, it looks short, but believe it or not, it's three pages long excluding the title and disclaimer junk.
    Last edited by Angeling; 27th December 2007 at 12:27 AM.
    [IMG]http://i36.*******.com/1629qpx.jpg[/IMG]

  2. #2
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    Like I said in LJ...I LOVE YOU AND THIS FIC! ;_; <3

    “Ow, ow, ow,” Dawn sniffed. “That’d hurt…”
    ^Shouldn't it be "That hurt..."? I don't know. That was the only mistake I saw.

    I'm way too blinded by the fact that there is an IWS fic here in the Shipping Fic Forum - so, yeah, this review totally sucks, sorry. :x Their relationship is just too adorable, I loved it, especially Dawn's use of "no need to worry! "with Riley. The whole lemon thing is completely random, but it works, lmao. There really isn't much more I can say besides...I love you and this fic [again]. <3 XD

  3. #3
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    I edited that part now, but thanks for the comment anyway. BLINDED BY MY AWESOMENESS EVEN IF SHORT. But this shipping is very sweet and even sweeter to write. <3

    The lemons part was supposed to imply an incoming "lemon" but well, you know I diverted from that. XD Blame Dawn and Riley!!
    [IMG]http://i36.*******.com/1629qpx.jpg[/IMG]

  4. #4
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    GenHika, wow, this is possibly my favourite DP Ship...
    I'd be tempted to write something, but for some reason, I fail at anything manga or game related *sobs*

    Picking lemons...man, that's original to say the least xD

    Quote Originally Posted by Eefi-chan View Post
    “Riley! Help!” Dawn cried out as the basket covered her eyes.

    Before Riley and Dawn knew it, Dawn had collided into the tree that Riley missed a few seconds ago.
    lol that's so innocent it's sweet !

    Quote Originally Posted by Eefi-chan View Post
    Riley had hurried over to Dawn’s side and knelt down beside her on the grass. Placing his right hand atop Dawn’s head, he leaned forward and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. A faint blush fell on her face immediately before both her hands covered her face.

    “You’re just so cute, Dawn,” Riley smiled.
    As was this

    Quote Originally Posted by Eefi-chan View Post
    But not only that, Riley was captivated by her innocence, her beauty, her elegance, and just the way she was.
    And that's what makes it so sweet, the young innocent, beautiful, elegant girl as you said, with the classy, handsome and caring older trainer, it makes something very cute, at least, imo

    Quote Originally Posted by Eefi-chan View Post
    Why they went lemon picking was beyond anyone’s comprehension, but perhaps it held a deeper meaning for the two. Well, now the two revealed their mutual feelings and there appears to be nothing that will ever come between the two. Or will there be? FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER… or will there be a next chapter?!
    LOL xD
    I can understand sometimes if you just say to yourself "Man, I really need to end this, and I mean NOW !" while writing...kinda happened to me

    In anycase, this was simply sweet and very enjoyable, congratulations !
    Chelc spotted the only mistake I could have found
    Because of serebiiforums, my Life has been put on hold...

    ...wait, that sounds wrong...
    ...yeah, it's the other way around.

    My Works : A, B, C, D, E

  5. #5
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    OH WOW WHY DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE.

    Eefi-chan I've just gained a great amount of respect for you. XD

    Yeah, that was sweet and fluffy. I do really like Riley and Dawn, and no, I don't care how pedophilic it might be. I just think it's an interesting alternative in the game canon. And since there's SO little interaction between the two in the game, it leaves room for much speculation. Which... is very good. :3

    But yeah, nice prose, and I did my share of fangirl squeeing. I don't normally comment to fanfics on SPPf, let alone shipping fanfics, so... consider yourself special? ^^;


    SHINY RAINBOWS BECKON YOU TO THE ARTIST'S CORNER

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  6. #6
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    Wow -- I never noticed how darn cute IronWillshipping is. I don't really know the age difference but that doesn't really matter.
    I freakin' love this fan-fiction and this pairing.
    So very cute and fluffy, it's so adorable! <3

    I think this one deserves a nine of out ten. The only mistake I saw was already mentioned. Great work~

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eefi-chan View Post
    A/N: My lame attempt at ending this fiction and trying to sound funny. But yeah, that's it... I can’t think of another way to end it or continue writing. Sorry if it seemed a bit rushed and stuff, since I might've at the ending. But I think it turned out better than my Respectshipping lemo--fiction.

    I know, it looks short, but believe it or not, it's three pages long excluding the title and disclaimer junk.
    You wrote a Respectshipping fic?

    can you put it up plz. (Well not here obviously rules and all about that sort of stuff, maybe FF.net or DevArt)

    Oh yeah, I liked your fan-fic. I give it a 9/10, only some grammar mistakes prevented it from making it a 10.

  8. #8
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    Awesome story 9/10 points because its a little short. This pairing is really cute and sweet. I dont think its pedophile, dawn is (in my opinion) 13 in the game and riley 24 or so. Who cares about the age difference?

    Will there be a second chapter? :3

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