(A/N: I haven't written fic in SO LONG. Nor have I BEEN here in like forever. So, I decided to post one of my newer bits. Luke Atmey x Ron DeLite from Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations. Because I love that pairing to bits. So enjoy, I guess o_0)
Leather and Lace
Sometimes, even the greatest of gods fell to basic human necessities. Ancient Greek mythology stated that the man Tantalus was forced to endure the pain of standing just out of reach of water and just out of reach of a fruit tree…only to have it move farther away the more he tried to reach it.
This was far more urgent a situation: Luke Atmey was hungry. Yes, even the Ace Detective’s stomach became empty just as the stomach of a human being could. But he did not want cheap, fast food, oh no no…that was not even fit to be called food. That would not be worthy of his dog….if he had one.
No, he needed expensive food. He didn’t care how good it was…all he knew was he wanted fancy. Expensive food for a man with expensive tastes. The only place that expensive that he knew of was that one French place down the road…Tres Bien, was it? The place decked out in pink, flowers everywhere, big gay chef?
He smiled. He had money to burn, after all… why not?
The glass door opened, ringing a small bell hanging from the frame. Immediately, a rotund man dressed in a tight pink shirt behind the counter turned around, bounding over to him in a fit of joy.
“Le customer! Welcome to Tres Bien, monsieur!” He said, nearly singing. It was as though he hadn’t seen a customer for days. “I shall fetch ze waitress so you can be led to your seat! We will take good care of you, Monsieur….ah…”
“Atmey.” Luke replied, not terribly amused by the wiggling of the chef’s manboobs.
“Oui! Monsieur Atmey!”
The chef disappeared into the back room, and Luke’s eyes began to wander about the dining room. So many flowers…everywhere. Not only flowers, but many pricey-looking paintings adorned the wall as well.
“Probably only copies, though…” he thought. “You’d think he could afford originals with how much the food costs here….”
“…m-may I seat you, Monsieur?” came a small timid voice.
Luke turned his head back, and he simply stared at the girl before him. Her soft, amber eyes looked nervously at him as she held the menu in her arms. She was…even Luke had to admit it…adorable. So sweet-looking, so cute. She reminded Luke of the girls on the news that ended up as rape victims.
“If you please.” Luke responded, sounding only a little bit dazed.
He followed the waitress to his table, sitting in the plush velvet booth and looking up at her again. Her reddish-brown hair was tied up in cute little cinnamon-roll buns, each with a small hair ribbon on top. She blushed as she asked,
“W…would you like anything to drink?”
“…I’ll have a cup of coffee. Cream and sugar.”
With a very nervous smile, she nodded. “I’ll get that right out for you, monsieur…”
“Miss….do I know you from somewhere? I may be an Ace Detective, but I am drawing a blank on where I’ve seen you before. …in fact, I’m sure we’ve met somewhere.”
The girl’s face went bright red. “Oh geez….um….I….I don’t know, I….don’t think I’ve ever met you…uh…l…let me get you that coffee…”
She sort of speed-walked back into the kitchen, Luke finding himself staring at her cute little butt as she did. Thanks to the shortness of the uniform’s skirt, he could easily see the little black panties she was wearing underneath. He smirked, amused at how such a nervous and shy girl could wear such sexy panties.
In a moment she returned, shakily carrying a cup of coffee in what seemed to be a fancy teacup.
“Obviously she wasn’t hired for her competence…” Luke thought, almost laughing to himself. “Pretty face, though.”
“…uh…do you know what you will be having, Monsieur?” the waitress asked.
Luke opened the menu and took a quick glance, not really caring what he selected. “I suppose I’ll have the… Steak Au Poivre. ….sounds delicious.” He lied.
“E-Excellent choice! I will put in your order and…and it should be out in no time at all!”
The way she said it made it seem like she was afraid of him…for whatever reason. Luke had to wonder… he didn’t look creepy or anything. In fact, he was downright handsome! Girls would be falling over themselves to associate with him! Why wasn’t THIS girl falling at his feet?
When she left again, Luke’s eyes once more wandered about the dining room. One thing that he noticed that was strange…there were no other customers here. Not a one. Perhaps this place was a bit of a ‘hidden jewel’? Or could it be that no one else in the region had as refined tastes as he did? He certainly knew there were enough relatively well-off families around…the Cadaverinis, the Bullards, the DeLites, that Furio Tigre guy…
“I guess that makes me a little more privelaged.” He thought. “It’s great being the best at what I do, heh heh… and only the best for the best!”
20 more minutes of staring at the flamboyant scenery later, the timid little waitress returned with a plate of steak that certainly looked a lot better than it smelled. It actually looked rather…grey. Much like the coffee.
“Bon appetit, monsieur!” she said with that same nervous smile. “Enjo-”
A piercing screech filled the dining room as the fat chef came barreling out of the kitchen. “MONSIEUR DELITE!”
Luke jumped at the sound of that last name. “Sir chef, my last name is Atmey-”
“Monsieur DeLite, you forgot to serve ze customer le side salad!” the chef called, bringing out the bowl of greenery.
Luke looked around. There were no waiters. No other monsieurs around that he could see…so that meant…oh lord.
He looked up at the waitress. “…Ron DeLite?”
The ‘waitress’ smiled, ‘her’ cover blown. “…h-hello Luke…f-fancy meeting you here, ahaha…”
With a smirk, Luke decided to milk this unfortunate situation for all it was worth. “Well, well, well. Who knew you had such a simply stunning figure? I mean, I always knew you were more of a woman than your wife, but damn!”
Ron’s face went completely red. “Don’t talk about my Dessie that way! I’m…I’m doing this for her! I don’t have my job anymore and she spends tons of money and…and…and…and…”
“So you got a job wearing a skimpy waitress uniform at a very poorly-run French restaurant. I must say, Sir Cinnamon Buns, that you are certainly moving up in the world. What’s next, selling yourself on the street?”
Ron went dead silent. He looked up at the ceiling as though it had what to say written across it in big bold letters.
“You…you are an ass.” He said, not even looking at the detective.
“I may be an ass, but yours is much nicer. And those panties! I thought I saw those in the window at Victoria’s Secret. Tres chic.”
“Ohhh….shut up!” Ron snapped.
“Did they come with a garter belt too? I’d love to see you in that. You can cream my coffee anytime, mm-mm-mm!”
Ron glared at the man who loved to torment him, his face an even deeper red than before. “You….you stop that, you’re….you’re making me blush and I don’t want to!”
“I’m sure you loathe it, oh so much. Now excuse me, Princess Leia, but I must be left alone when I eat. I am sure you understand.”
Turning on his high heels, Ron huffed off to the back room to wait for any other customers who might come…and for Luke to finish eating so he could collect the money.
When at last he got the OK to go back out (he refused to leave the back room until the chef assured him Luke was gone), he went to the table to take the money and his tip.
The bill had come to thirty dollars, but there was a hundred on the table. A seventy-dollar tip?! Absurd! Underneath the money, however, was a green envelope…addressed to him. He ripped it open and read the letter inside.
“Dearest Sir Cinnamon Buns:
Please come to the Atmey Detective Agency after your shift. I would like to discuss something…intimate with you in great depth. You would be wise to follow my instructions.
Ron puffed out his cheeks. Oh, brother. What the hell could Atmey possibly want to discuss?! But one look at the phrase ‘you would be wise to follow my instructions’ made him gulp. That meant he was serious. He didn’t like what that was implying, not a bit…
“I suppose I have no choice.”