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  1. #26
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    Its totally your call on that one gym leaders usually have pokemon within their own regions so as there isnt any surprises but if you break that tradition it would be interesting as well but as i said totally your call.
    Yes, the author holds all the power. The power is MINE, I tell you! MINE!!!1!1eleven!1
    But really, it's nice hearing opinions from people.
    lol, nice pun there, Araleon.
    FF.Net profile | Blazing Frost | Project Valentine | River Styx | Hexachromalurgy | Fizzy Bubbles

    Latest PV pair: Shedinja/Sylveon - What if the MST3K guys did Roshomon? I think it would go a little something like this.

  2. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by darkdragontamer View Post
    Yes, the author holds all the power. The power is MINE, I tell you! MINE!!!1!1eleven!1
    But really, it's nice hearing opinions from people.
    lol, nice pun there, Araleon.
    Well...if you were to use pokemon from other regions it WOULD switch things up quite a bit. It might be a good idea, but then again, it could break your story. ....flip a coin to decide?
    Pokemon Black team:

  3. #28
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    *nods*
    *flips coin*
    It's tails! You guys wondering what that means?
    Everyone else: *nods*
    Well,
        Spoiler:- WHAT DOES IT MEAN???:
    FF.Net profile | Blazing Frost | Project Valentine | River Styx | Hexachromalurgy | Fizzy Bubbles

    Latest PV pair: Shedinja/Sylveon - What if the MST3K guys did Roshomon? I think it would go a little something like this.

  4. #29
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    * * *

    Chapter Five: On the Road (Arrival At Viridian City! A Pokemon Is Caught!!!)

    The four kids traveled down Route 1, their keen eyes on the lookout for random wild Pokemon. Several trees dotted the sides of the dusty route. The cloudless skies, blindingly bright, reflected their hopes for the journey. Leaf, Ocean, and Lightning were skipping merrily, leaving Fire several yards behind. Frosti and Peach, sitting on their respective trainers’ shoulders, hung on for dear life. Paris, on the other hand, simply hummed happily from Leaf’s arms.

    “We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz …” they sang loudly.

    “Those kids are nutcases,” Fire sighed, rolling his eyes.

    After that, there was no more singing, because the truth was that they really were being nutcases.

    “I hate that he’s always right,” Ocean stated as they skidded to a halt, waiting for Fire to catch up. “Oh well. And Leaf … why do you get to have a Swampert and a shiny? A freaking shiny!” At this last part, the full meaning of his statement stressed him sufficiently enough that his voice rose by several octaves and decibels, and he pulled at his hair with an almost psychotic expression.

    Leaf shrugged, while everyone else sweatdropped at the abrupt change in topic. “I dunno. Just luck, I guess.”

    “… I hate you,” Ocean bawled, slumping over.

    “Oh, don’t cry, Ocean. One of my Pokemon is injured, and another is a helpless little baby, so technically I still only have one.”

    Ocean took a deep breath to calm himself. Then, suddenly, he perked up, beaming. “Ah, well. At least I have Tyran.”

    “You b-brought the Tyranitar?” Lightning gasped, trembling.

    “Yep. Me, Hideki, Rosa and Tyran. We’re a lovely bunch.”

    “An odd combination,” Fire snarled. “A spiky-haired freak with his Bulbasaur, Spinda and Tyranitar. This should go over well.”

    “Remind me how an emo, his Drowzee and his Squirtle isn’t an odd combination,” Ocean replied serenely.

    “Hey guys!” Lightning piped up. Of course, everyone ignored him.

    “I am not emo!” Fire snarled, crossing his arms to hide the cuts on them.

    “Yes you are!”

    “No, I am not!”

    “Yes you are!”

    “No, I am not!”

    “Yes you are!”

    “No, I am not!”

    “Yes you are!”

    “No, I am not!”

    “Yes you are!”

    “Guys, cut it out, we all know Fire’s an emo, just shut up and listen!” Lightning hissed. “Something’s moving in that bush over there!”

    Everyone was instantly silent. A faint movement wildly wriggled in a roadside bush. Then, suddenly, a bluish rabbit leapt into the road, its broad ears standing at attention on its horned head. A few dark spots decorated its fuzzy sides. It seemed to have just pulled up a clump of grass in its buckteeth, and was trying to munch on it.

    <How come these *******s keep popping up?> it sighed, sounding slightly muffled.

    Automatically Leaf’s Pokedex clicked on.

    “Why?” she groaned.

    “Oh my dear Naaaarrrrrrrgh, it’s my job. Silly girl. Nidoran female, the Lousy Pokemon. Gender is Female, duhhhhh. Height is Infant, Weight is Horse. The female has a smaller horn than the male, which is odd. After all, you wouldn’t expect a female to have a horn, would you? Pokemon get weirder every day, I swear.”

    Lightning sweatdropped. “That thing is just plain unnatural. But whatever. I’m gonna catch that bunny! Go Peach!”

    <Candy?> Peach squeaked, facing her first foe.

    <Don’t take it from strangers,> Nidoran advised, tensing herself for a blow.

    “Volt Tackle!” Lightning cried.

    Peach streaked toward Nidoran, a living comet of electricity. Nidoran was hit with astonishing force, and actually flew a couple of feet through the air. She didn’t even have time to blink before crumpling to the ground, panting.

    “Poke Ball, GO!” Lightning yelled, tossing an unused Poke Ball at the rabbit.

    One wobble …

    Two …

    Three.

    Ding!

    “Yeah! I caught a Pokemon!” he cheered, picking up the Poke Ball and doing a cheesy victory pose. “Its name is Dory!”

    “Didn’t you say you weren’t nicknaming any more Pokemon?” Leaf asked, confused.

    “Yeah, but I changed my mind. Atta girl, Peach!”

    Peach wagged her tail joyfully, leaping back onto his shoulder and nuzzling against his face.

    <Now he has two rabid rabbits,> Frosti sighed. <It’s the beginning of the end.>

    * * *

    Elsewhere in Kanto, though not so far from our heroes as one might think, there were two young men. There usually are, in tales like these: wise, experienced mentors, or swashbuckling, romantic adventurers, or perhaps even supernatural seducers with glittery skin and furball explosion capabilities. The aforementioned types seem to never have stories about themselves, for they are doomed to protect the uninteresting main girl who is the source of all the inconvenient sexual tension. With these particular young men, however, this was not the case. Though they would find opposition in each other, it would not find itself predominated by the love triangle factor; and in fact, though they had met before, one didn’t know it, and the other preferred to keep it that way.

    The one was, at this moment, ignoring the slowly approaching harbor from his position on the boat’s deck. Excited shouts rang in the air – it was about time they had finally arrived at land – but he was deaf to their joy. Instead he leaned against the railing, staring into the dark blue waters churning below, and wondered miserably if it had hurt much when he had jumped. On his orders …

    His eyes stung at this thought, but they remained dry – he’d cried until there were no tears left to spill.

    It’s all so wrong, he thought agonizingly, as people behind him scampered past to watch the shore loom closer. I’ve lost them, and now I’ve lost him as well … what’ll happen when there’s only me?

    He moved his arm upward, in a slow, dreamlike motion, to look at the object clenched in his fist: a string of grayish beads made of a peculiar rock. His eyes squeezed shut, and he bowed his head in remorse.

    “Skipper,” he whispered, words barely audible over the crash of waves, “I’m so, so sorry …”

    * * *

    The other was fleeing the police.

    Not that that was anything new. After years of criminal activity, he had practically turned lawbreaking into an art form. Which explained why he was running up and down the streets of Viridian with Jenny and her cronies on his tail, instead of using one of his Pokemon to help him flee the scene. After all, where would the fun in that be?

    He ducked around one alley corner, sprinted down the dark, winding path, and pulled sharply around the left corner before anyone could see him. He allowed himself to slow to a jog, chuckling as he heard Jenny’s motorcycle screech somewhere before its progress was abruptly halted with a massive crash. Note to self: motorcycles are not convenient transportation in alleyway chases.

    He grinned mischievously as he emerged into the sunlit street, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from people. It was important that someone as amazingly famous as himself kept undercover while engaging in criminal affairs, after all. That was why he was wearing a cone-shaped white wig. His grin widened as he thought of how nobody could possibly recognize him now, though it slipped his mind entirely that his current wig carried some very unfortunate implications.

    His musings were interrupted as he abruptly tripped over something; after hitting the pavement painfully, he swiveled around only to see with surprise that there was some random old guy lying on the sidewalk at his feet.

    “Got some?” the old guy mumbled, peering blearily up at him.

    He wasn’t sure how to respond to this question. After all, he’d gotten many things over the course of his career, and how the hell was he supposed to know what this senile ******* was referring to anyway?

    “Give it to me,” yawned the old guy.

    Now thoroughly disturbed, he backed away slightly. “I really, really hope you don’t mean that in a sexual way,” he said, hoping some passing policeman would arrest this guy for attempted pedophilia, before remembering that they’d arrest him first anyway.

    “MMmmMMmmMMmmMMmm coffeeeee.”

    He stared at him, as the disturbing images in his head started to dissolve. “Seriously? You’re just laying there because you need coffee?

    “Neeeeeeed coffeeeeeeee …”

    “There’s a Starbucks across the street. Moron. Now get out of the road, or I’ll make sure you’re blacklisted for tickle torture when we take over the world.”

    The old guy looked up at him blankly. Rolling his eyes, the young man turned and started to walk away, wondering why on earth he’d mentioned tickle torture of all things, when—

    “KLAN!” The old guy was pointing at his wig in horror, caffeine addiction temporarily forgotten.

    What …? He remembered what his wig looked like. Oh. Right. Dammit.

    “KLAN!” the old guy yelled again. “YOU KILLED MY STEPBROTHER, YOU *******S! YOUUUUUUU BASTARRRRRRRRDS!”

    The young man took off, not because the moron was creeping him out – although that was still true – but because Jenny’s minions would somehow understand what the guy meant. He’d already thrown them off his scent once, and he wasn’t really in the mood to repeat the feat.

    Ducking into a nearby drugstore, which was thankfully devoid of anybody nearby who could possibly be a witness, he leapt behind an unmanned counter, glancing around to make sure that nobody was watching him. Then he snuck into the nearby back room, swiftly swapped his unfortunate wig for one of a different sort, which he pulled from seemingly out of nowhere, and donned an employee’s outfit which was lying conveniently on the floor nearby.

    He had no idea that two legends were watching his every move and snickering as they planned what would come next …

    * * *

    The sun was hanging just above the horizon by the time the new trainers reached Viridian City. After dropping by the nearest gym (“’For repairs’?” snarled Fire, glaring at the sign hanging on the door. “Victory could be mine if it weren’t for stupid repairs!”), they immediately headed for the nearest drugstore, taking inordinately long turns at the water fountain within.

    “The Pewter Gym’s up north,” Lightning reported, glancing at his map, “but I don’t see us getting there until at least tomorrow. Unless we want to wait for this gym to reopen?”

    Apparently no one wanted that. No one wondered how they’d managed to get to Viridian in less than a day, either.

    “Mine aren’t strong enough yet,” Fire said, scowling as usual.

    “They’ll never be strong enough for you,” Ocean remarked, patting the other’s shoulder happily. “You’re the designated power leech! After all, you suck. A lot.” He grinned.

    Fire swelled angrily. “Is that so?”

    “No, but I wish it were. And hopefully you will.”

    Hopefully?

    While they argued, Leaf decided to wander about the store, stocking up on some food. Frosti tagged along behind, careful to keep his tail far away from anything flammable. Paris, tired from the long day in spite of doing absolutely nothing, peered curiously at the various items for sale.

    “Aha, here we are!” Leaf exclaimed suddenly, skidding to a halt before a counter. Frosti, not looking where he was going, slammed into Leaf’s slender legs.

    <Whatcha lookin’ at?> he asked after picking himself up, curious.

    “Technical Machines. There isn’t as wide a selection as there is at a mall, but at least the prices are affordable here. Let’s see …” Shifting Paris’s weight to one arm, she pulled out a couple of the colored discs, nodding as she read their titles. “Sunny Day and Iron Tail for you, and Hail and Return for Paris. Swampert’s probably pretty strong, so I don’t think he needs machine moves. And these are killing off my allowance anyway.”

    <Sounds fair enough.>

    Placing the food and TMs on the unmanned counter, Leaf stood perfectly still as she waited patiently.

    For two seconds.

    “What kind of service are these people?” she growled, pounding her fist on the counter. “They’re leaving me hanging! Geez, I should sue—”

    “Can I help you?”

    Leaf jumped. From a back room behind the counter emerged a tall, thin young man in a typical employee’s outfit. His large black afro was obviously a wig, and it clashed horribly with his pale skin. The plastic tag on his front that said “Hello, my name is ________” displayed no name.

    He just stared at the Lapras in her arms. His brain seemed to have frozen from shock.

    “Are you bald?” Leaf asked, staring rudely at the wig without noticing his expression.

    “… W-what? Oh, no, it’s just that I feel like wearing it.” Shiny? he thought. The newbie has a shiny?

    “Riiiight,” Leaf drawled, “you’re wearing a thirty-pound afro that makes you look like a complete geek, in the middle of summer, because you feel like it. A perfectly believable story.” Then again, he is a weirdo …

    The “employee” attempted to conceal his surprise by rolling his eyes. “Do you want to purchase something here or not?”

    Leaf shrugged and pushed the short stack of credits toward him, picking up the four TMs and the numerous food items. Trying to ignore her regretfully lighter wallet, she strode away from the counter and back to the boys, Frosti hot on her heels.

    He continued to gape as he watched their departure, his brain arguing with what his eyes had seen. Then he leaned against the counter as he rubbed his thin, pointed, freckled nose thoughtfully. He pocketed her money for himself, out of habit.

    They’ll be headed toward the Pokemon Center, he mused, glancing at the clock. It’s getting late. And those nurses never seem to sleep … Tomorrow, then. I’ll call the Boss and ask what he wants me to do … And in the meantime, they’ll have an extra shadow following them.

    With that, the young man tore off his unused name tag and marched away from the counter, fingering a cell phone in his pocket with a black letter “R” engraved on it.

    * * *

    Author's Note: Last of the revised chapters =D
    + More following on the Rocket guy, and angsty scene with the other guy
    + Coffee guy in Viridian. How the hell did I not get him in the first time ...
    - Chapter title, "The Journey Begins"
    Last edited by SugarPesticide; 25th June 2010 at 1:04 AM.
    FF.Net profile | Blazing Frost | Project Valentine | River Styx | Hexachromalurgy | Fizzy Bubbles

    Latest PV pair: Shedinja/Sylveon - What if the MST3K guys did Roshomon? I think it would go a little something like this.

  5. #30
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    This chapter was good. I could sense it was a filler, but it was still good.

    See ya next chapter!

    Araleon
    Current Black Team: Rivka (Stoutland), Elmo (Musharna), Scarlett (Whimsicott), Gabriel (Carracosta), Reese (Klang), Sean (Mienfoo); all are at level 47. Currently in Victory Road.

  6. #31
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    Thanx. Yeah, in the original draft I had this whole convoluted twist about a friend and his girlfriend and his girlfriend's contest rival, and the friend's discovery of a weird new Pokemon, but then I realized it would all just be her mother's flashbacks, and Leaf and co. would STILL be in Pallet Town for at least 2 more chapters. So mostly, this was just for them to get a move on. =/
    (I may still use the new Pokemon in this fic, though.)
    Last edited by SugarPesticide; 21st August 2009 at 1:47 AM.
    FF.Net profile | Blazing Frost | Project Valentine | River Styx | Hexachromalurgy | Fizzy Bubbles

    Latest PV pair: Shedinja/Sylveon - What if the MST3K guys did Roshomon? I think it would go a little something like this.

  7. #32
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    ah what you had before would have been good it would not have mattered if they were still in pallet town or not. It was an interesting chapter there were times where it felt rather rushed in my opinion doesnt mean it was good just that it felt lackin as in comparison to some of the previous chapters. You are however setting everything up quite nicely meaning developing its plot and rising poins. Description is getting better though at times it did feel that it didnt have much as well but nothin to discourage ya. Anyways good job.

    ~roo~
    Fan fic reader. Writer at heart artistic at heart. My name before was roodude15 and I'm back PM me if you want me to review something. I'm always happy to review a story.

    I love crude humor it's the biggest thing since sliced bread and sliced bread is pretty darn good too

  8. #33
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    ah what you had before would have been good it would not have mattered if they were still in pallet town or not.
    True, but since I just finished introducing the main characters I didn't want to start suddenly shoving a bunch of new ones onto the audience. New ones, I might add, that probably wouldn't have made much impact on the plot until the very end. It was interesting while it lasted, though.
    FF.Net profile | Blazing Frost | Project Valentine | River Styx | Hexachromalurgy | Fizzy Bubbles

    Latest PV pair: Shedinja/Sylveon - What if the MST3K guys did Roshomon? I think it would go a little something like this.

  9. #34
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    Sweet story. Not quite as funny as the others though. Still loved it never the less. Can't wait till the next one!
    Pokemon Black team:

  10. #35
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    I know it's not that funny, but making good humor plus a good plot is HARD.
    Last edited by SugarPesticide; 10th March 2010 at 4:56 AM.
    FF.Net profile | Blazing Frost | Project Valentine | River Styx | Hexachromalurgy | Fizzy Bubbles

    Latest PV pair: Shedinja/Sylveon - What if the MST3K guys did Roshomon? I think it would go a little something like this.

  11. #36
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    I would have to say you could make more funnies if Leaf had it. I mean, they are already jealous of her having one shiny, what about two? Or the ex-employee.
    Pokemon Black team:

  12. #37
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    Wow, only one person answered? I must suck. j/k

    Bad news, guys. I almost had Chapter Six finished, but my parents pretty much destroyed my computer due to overuse. So now I have to write the whole thing up on this one instead. Gah.

    Oh, I thought chapter titles might be a good idea. *puts them in*

    C'mon, people, feedback! If you think this story's awesome, say so. If you think it sucks, well, say so anyway.
    FF.Net profile | Blazing Frost | Project Valentine | River Styx | Hexachromalurgy | Fizzy Bubbles

    Latest PV pair: Shedinja/Sylveon - What if the MST3K guys did Roshomon? I think it would go a little something like this.

  13. #38
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    Hello, there! I saw you commented to your fic and figured I'd read and review. Hope you don't mind me givign some constructive criticism. ^^

    -

    First off, I rather like your first chapter. It's quite charming. Even though there are quite a few clichés here, you still managed to make them mildly enjoyable.

    Of course, starting off with the trainer waking up - and being late, a lot of the time - is nothing new, and hardly original, but you set the character up nicely. Would have been nice to see a more interesting beginning, though. Your character is fun, she doesn't deserve the generic approach.

    Her name is...interesting. I'm not sure whether that's the good or the bad interesting, but it's interesting. Of course, we all know it isn't exactly realistic to give the main protagonists names that resemble thre three - or in this case, four - starter pokémon, but that's your choice. Surely 'Leaf' is the best name of the bunch, because the thought of having someone named 'Lightning' or 'Ocean' as a main character sounds very annoying.

    The characters act a bit hyperactive, but that could be attributed to the fact that they're ten and about to start on a very exciting adventure. Either way, they're still a bit too hyper for my tastes.

    Luckily you seem to have a very anti-Sue approach in not choosing the Pichu. Hopefully you'll manage to keep this up as I go through the chapters.

    -

    Then, chapter two.

    For some reason, the four new trainers - instead of getting ready for their journey, or having practice battles, or going home to show off their pokémon - decide to sit down somewhere at random. I suppose that is possible, it just seems like a waste of time.

    Then three of them silmutaniously point their pokédex at one of their pokémon, even though one of the boys - Fire, I believe? - had just been thinking murderous thoughts and acted like the true 'angry, nasty rival' he is.

    Leaf's pokédex, however, seems to posses artificial intelligence of some sort, which is wildly impossible. The pokédex are brilliant pieces of technology, but I doubt any of them would get anywhere close to being able to talk back like this one did. All the pokémon data would have been programmed beforehand, so unless the person doing the programming was on crack, this couldn't happen.

    I know it makes for a nice comedy contrivance, but it's just not realistic. If I were Leaf, I'd get myself another one, because this pokédex isn't going to help her at all.

    “Hold the phone, my encyclopedia’s ringing!”
    Which is entirely impossible since a pokédex doesn't work that way.

    I really liked the description of her sitting on that fallen log, looking out over the water. That was really nice. It would be great if you could incorporate more description like that into your story.

    Now, the swampert... I don't know, but if she ends up owning it, then I have to pull the sue card. If it turns out to be a trainer's pokémon that was somehow left injured in the water, then I might be okay with it, depending on how it was written.

    Speaking pokémon, however, is a no-no. Remember meowth? He is the exception to the rule, but he had a lot of trouble doing it and a huge cause to do it for. If even pikachu can't learn to speak with Ash, then this swampert isn't going to cut it either.

    -

    Chapter 3.

    except one, but he’s not the type to evolve Pokemon anyway, and no one cares about him anyway
    Are you saying Professor Oak is implying that because this trainer doesn't evolve his pokémon, no one cares about him? Surely Professor Oak is smarter than that. Unless that wasn't what you meant to say, in which case it might be good to rephrase it a bit.

    so the Swampert must be wild. Which only makes the whole situation odder …”
    And more unlikely. There are almost no mudkip in the wild, and if there were, they'd be in their own region. Were a mudkip to evolve, when in the wild, he'd be hunted by every trainer in sight, let alone if it turned into swampert!

    “Sometimes a trainer’s mind has an abnormal arrangement in its construction, which picks up on a Pokemon’s movements and emotions and instantly translates them into actual words. But it’s only several years into training that it happens. I’m not sure why there’d be an exception, but maybe you’re even more abnormal than most—”
    Right, okay. She has officially turned into a Mary-Sue. Which is a pity, because I really like her.

    Humans simply can't communicate with pokémon, at least not to this degree. We have seen no instances anywhere in canon that support that idea. In fact, we've seen more that points to the contrary. If someone like Ash can't talk to his pikachu, then this new trainer isn't going to be able to talk to some randoms swampert.

    “Omigosh!” Oak gasped, tightening his grasp on the table until his knuckles turned white. “It’s a shiny Lapras!”
    *headdesk* You were doing so well, earlier! In just one chapter you've turned Leaf from a charming character into a Sue. Giving her a shiny lapras - rare enough without it being a shiny - and a fully evolved swampert makes her a horrible, horrible sue. It's not only unlikely, it's dang near impossible. Even if the swampert probably won't stick around. (Your mention of that trainer earlier was a bit obvious, you see.)

    “TAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!” bellowed a huge, monstrous Pokemon as soon as it was released from its Poke Ball. It had a blue diamond shape on its stomach and a long, spiky, mace-like tail, which was thrashing about wildly. The tail was thrashing, that is; it would have been very odd indeed if its stomach had been thrashing.
    Adding hugely powerful pokémon to a team just to be funny, isn't, well, funny. Are you writing a parody? Because that's exactly what this looks like. Which is a pity, because your descriptions aren't bad.

    -

    Regarding your question.

    Random Question of the Week:
    *IF* I bring in another shiny Pokemon and have someone catch it, who would you prefer to catch it and why?
    A) Leaf
    B) Ocean
    C) Fire
    D) Lightning
    E) the ex-employee (whose name will be partially revealed in Chapter Six, yes he is important )
    No more shinies! No more! Your ten year old - is she ten? I hope she is - beginner has a freaking shiny lapras and a swampert, she is a huge sue already. The odds of them coming across another shiny are very, very, very small, and you should not do it. Just, no.

    Thank you, Saffire Persian, for the lovely banner.

  14. #39
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    Lol you're so right on a lot of this. ^^;;;

    The characters are actually thirteen. I found that ten was an extremely young age to send your kid out into the wild wilderness with only a savage beast to protect him/her.

    Luckily you seem to have a very anti-Sue approach in not choosing the Pichu. Hopefully you'll manage to keep this up as I go through the chapters.
    Yes. Yes. I DESPISE PICHU/PIKACHU. I would never wish them on anyone except my worst enemies.

    Chapter Two was a way to get to know the characters w/o having a long, boring list of their appearance, likes/dislikes, etc. Besides, I wouldn't think that they'd just march out w/o preparing for their journey. They're going to be gone for at least weeks; they should at least make their last day in their hometown last.

    Are you saying Professor Oak is implying that because this trainer doesn't evolve his pokémon, no one cares about him? Surely Professor Oak is smarter than that. Unless that wasn't what you meant to say, in which case it might be good to rephrase it a bit.
    lol misunderstanding here. In this fic Oak's not particularly bright. Book-smart, yes. Deep-thinking, not nearly so much.

    And yes, this is a parody. I sort of enjoy traveling off the beaten path of "So-and-so beats the gyms, mostly by helping the gymleaders out in certain tasks. He/she beats Team Whatever and becomes Champion, and it's impossible for them to find one-time Pokemon in the wild, even though other trainers can have one already." And Paris is very important to the story, just so ya know.
    FF.Net profile | Blazing Frost | Project Valentine | River Styx | Hexachromalurgy | Fizzy Bubbles

    Latest PV pair: Shedinja/Sylveon - What if the MST3K guys did Roshomon? I think it would go a little something like this.

  15. #40
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    The characters are actually thirteen. I found that ten was an extremely young age to send your kid out into the wild wilderness with only a savage beast to protect him/her.
    That may be so, but it's canon. If you're going to write a parody, then fine, but they'd be beaten by the first eleven year old they came across. Kids leave at ten, that's just the way it is.

    Besides, I wouldn't think that they'd just march out w/o preparing for their journey. They're going to be gone for at least weeks; they should at least make their last day in their hometown last.
    Then why were they sitting around doing nothing? You mentioned one of them doing some training, but the rest were just sitting around and talking. Besides, they hadn't even been told they couldn't leave the town yet, so there really was no reason for them to be hanging around like that.

    And yes, this is a parody.
    Then make sure people know this. I think that unless you make it a bit clearer, most readers are going to see this as an example of what to do as opposed to an example of what not to do. Also, if you're going to combine fic-clichés with the way it should be done, then people are going to be terribly confused.

    Either write a parody, or write a story the way such fic are supposed to be written.

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    ^ true. I guess I'd be a bit confused too.

    OMG! I just had this sudden insight on how the story should turn out. Uses a lot fewer cliches, and has a better plot ... yeah. *gets back to work*
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    The story still rules, and Silawen, you can't tell someone how to write their fic. Most of th greatest stories on this site use 13 year olds instead of 10 year olds. Sure it may be canon in the anime, but they ever say what the age is in the games, and darkdraogntamer doesn't have to follw canon.

    I don't know who to give the shiny, but maybe you could give each of them one and make to the plot? I don't know, it is your story, so whatever you decide will be fine. Although, I wouldn't recommend giving it to Leaf, people might consider it too cliche.
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    The story still rules, and Silawen, you can't tell someone how to write their fic.
    I'm getting really fed up with people telling me to stop telling others how to write something. I am not making the authors do anything. I'm simply telling them that what they did breaks either the rules of grammar, punctuation, canon, or logic. What they do with that is their choice.

    I'm not holding a gun to people's heads and forcing them to comply with what I just suggested.

    Most of th greatest stories on this site use 13 year olds instead of 10 year olds.
    Then they aren't the greatest stories. I have, in my time of reading pokémon fanfiction, seen only one convincing 'older!trainer' fic. In that case the trainer was older because the new region they were in was so much more dangerous and the others weren't.

    Thirteen year old trainers would be beaten by the first eleven year old they came across, not to mention that they apparently don't really care that much about pokémon if they're three years late.

    Sure it may be canon in the anime, but they ever say what the age is in the games, and darkdraogntamer doesn't have to follw canon.
    Actually, they say you're eleven in one of the booklets provided with the games. Either yellow, or one of the other earlier games.

    Either way, the games have nothing to do with it. The author of this story had her character and companions get starter pokémon from professor Oak, something that is anime-canon entirely. There is no such thing in the games. Thus she is using anime-canon in her fic, and the starting age for that is ten.

    If you don't follow its canon, then why are you writing fanfiction? It's extremely disrespectful to the original source. You might as well write original fiction, if you care that little about the fandom you're in.

    Anyway, good luck, darkdragontamer!
    Last edited by Silawen; 10th April 2008 at 11:46 AM.

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    Thanks guys. But I can't exactly follow the canon to the letter, or it would be a bit boring.

    Anyway, to get this back on track, here's the tentative chapter 6 title:
        Spoiler:- ch. 6 title:
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    Following canon doesn't mean you have to follow the exact same path the games/anime take. It means following what the has been established as truth. Like, if you choose to get a starter pokémon from professor Oak, then you have the choice between charmander, squirtle and bulbasaur, because it's canon. However, you don't have to follow the same route Ash or the game-characters take, because nowhere in canon does it say that there's only one route to take.

    Following canon isn't boring. If it is, then it's because you made it so, not because of canon.

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    Awesome! New title. Oh, and sorry Silawen. I was in a bit of a bad mood, but, how is getting a Pokemon from Oak only anime canon? I don't mean to sound rude if I do, I'm just curious. In Red/Blue/Green/and Yellow you gt your starter from Prof. Oak.

    Ok, see ya next chappie!

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    how is getting a Pokemon from Oak only anime canon? I don't mean to sound rude if I do, I'm just curious. In Red/Blue/Green/and Yellow you gt your starter from Prof. Oak.
    In the games you get them through professor Oak by accident. You walk into the tall grass, see him being attacked, save him, and out of gratitude he gives you the pokémon you used to rescue him with. Or you rescue him and are then asked to choose one of the pokémon as a thank you.

    It isn't like what happens in the anime, where you and several other trainers get to choose one of the three as your starter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Silawen View Post
    In the games you get them through professor Oak by accident. You walk into the tall grass, see him being attacked, save him, and out of gratitude he gives you the pokémon you used to rescue him with. Or you rescue him and are then asked to choose one of the pokémon as a thank you.
    That's the Hoenn region. With Proffesor Birch.
    I wish there were still dinosaurs.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lvl 100 Charizard View Post
    That's the Hoenn region. With Proffesor Birch.
    Hence me giving several examples of how professors end up giving you pokémon. They're not the same, but they follow a similar pattern. You wind up in the tall grass and either get saved by the professor or end up saving the professor. He then gives you a pokémon to complete his pokédex or as a thank you.

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    * * *

    Chapter Six: Viridian Forest (Battle Of The Bug Pokemon! Weedle Vs. Caterpie??!!)

    After a regrettably uneventful night, the foursome continued on their journey. The long, winding road led them into Viridian Forest, a place shrouded by a thick canopy of broad leaves. The sun shone down brightly on the path, but the rest of the forest basked in shadows, making it impossible to see more than fifteen feet to either side. Conveniently, it was in a particularly shady part of the forest that Fire immediately pulled them over for a battle.

    “Okay, idiots, I’m not going to wander into Brock’s gym just to get crushed by some pathetic pebble. I need experience, and one of you is going to give it to me. Who’s my first victim?”

    “Quit being so arrogant, Fire, it’s not making you popular,” Leaf sighed. “I guess I’ll battle you first. Just give me a minute for a pep talk with my team, m’kay?”

    “Whatever.” Fire shrugged, a faint sneer twisting his features. “The way you treat your Pokemon, you’ll probably need an hour-long pep talk before they get the spine to battle me.”

    Leaf rolled her eyes, exasperated. He thinks he’s so cool, she muttered mentally as she walked away, Paris in her arms and Frosti at her heels. The girl shielded herself from view from her human companions with a large stump nearby, and placed Paris on the rich brown earth next to Frosti. The two young Pokemon gazed up at her with large eyes as she leaned down to speak with them. With a start, she realized that Paris had almost doubled in size since yesterday. Either Lapras grow very quickly, or I bought one of the recalled brands of Pokechow, she mused. “Alright, guys, it’s our first time on the battlefield. I’m not an expert on these things – yet – so you’re going to have to trust your gut if I can’t come up with some strategy fast enough. Also, I have these for you.” She reached into her yellow handbag and pulled out the four TMs, whose plastic covers brightly reflected the firelight from Frosti’s tail.

    Frosti cocked his head to the side. <What are those supposed to be?>

    Leaf facepalmed. Unfortunately, she used the hand with the TMs in them, resulting in a painful red mark in the middle of her forehead. “They’re TMs, Frosti. You watched me buy them yesterday, remember?”

    <Meh, not really. I was distracted by the nerd with the afro.>

    “So was I, but whatever. Anyway, TMs are these discs that you use to teach Pokemon awesome moves.” She opened the plastic cases and slapped two of the discs on Frosti’s head, and the other two on Paris’s. Both Pokemon began to glow brightly, illuminating the dark forest, until only their outlines were visible. Flashes of images – a flaming sun, a pulsing cartoonish heart – moved throughout their outlines, faster and clearer as seconds passed and then—

    The gloom of the forest swallowed up Leaf’s vision, besides some dancing afterimages. Blinking several times to clear it away, she saw Frosti and Paris still sitting there, minus the TMs on their heads.

    <Whoa … no wonder people like marijuana so much,> Frosti breathed in awe, rubbing his temples.

    * * *

    “This is a two-on-two match,” Ocean declared, acting as the referee. Leaf and Fire stared each other down from opposite sides of the dusty path, fingering the Poke Balls hanging from their belts. “Neither side may switch Pokemon unless the current one has fainted. Aaaand … begin!”

    “Frosti, you’re up!”

    “Squirtle, screw up and you die!”

    Frosti scampered from his spot next to Leaf and into his position in the “field”. In a flash of neon-red light, his small foe appeared on the battlefield. Frosti flexed his sharp claws confidently, his fiery tail slicing through the shadows. Squirtle, on the other hand, shivered as she nervously glanced around at the jet-black depths of the forest.

    “Eh …” Leaf bit her lip. This was her first battle ever, and she was less than enthusiastic about messing up. “Frosti, try to get a Scratch in there.”

    “Ignore it, you have a shell!”

    Frosti nodded and charged at Squirtle, grinning menacingly. Squirtle shrieked and ducked, putting her hard brown shell between Frosti and herself. This did not deter Frosti, however; he merely slashed downward at her bowed head, scoring a hit.

    “No! Work with me, idiot!”

    “Atta boy, Frosti! Scratch again!”

    “Toughen up, stupid thing! Use Tackle!”

    Squirtle timidly trotted towards Frosti, her stubby little arms in front of her. However, this resulted in another scratch striking her, this time on one of her hands.

    “No!” Fire growled again as Squirtle darted behind his legs, shivering. “What do you think you’re doing?”

    <He’s scary,> Squirtle whimpered, burying her face in Fire’s pant leg.

    Fire glared at his young Pokemon and mercilessly kicked her back into battle, his disgusted expression speaking for him. “Don’t touch me, pathetic weakling. I told you to battle, so BATTLE!” Apparently, Fire was more frightening than Frosti, as Squirtle cautiously waddled towards her opponent again, ready to try another Tackle.

    “Fire, you’re not gonna beat anything if you train ‘em like that. Sheesh, this is pretty easy. Frosti, slow her up with a Growl, and Iron Tail her while she’s down.”

    As Squirtle neared Frosti, the fiery lizard let a low, purring snarl escape between his sharp teeth. The oddly melodic noise relaxed everyone in the vicinity, and Squirtle collapsed as the will left her muscles, coaxed away by the gentle vibration.

    “This stupid turtle isn’t worth my time. Tail Whip!”

    Squirtle moaned, but obediently stuck her curly blue tail into the air and wagged it cutely. This backfired, however, as it created a perfect target for Frosti’s Iron Tail. As his glowing silver tail connected, Squirtle yelped and slumped motionless to the ground, indicating that she had fainted.

    “Fire’s Squirtle has lost! Frosti is victorious in this round!”

    “Yay! We won our first battle!” Leaf cheered, scooping Frosti up into her arms and wildly prancing around, nearly knocking Lightning over. “You’re so cool, Frosti!”

    <That’s what I keep telling you.>

    “It’s not over yet,” Fire snarled, recalling Squirtle and interrupting Leaf’s sudden dancing spree. “Drowzee, make me proud.”

    In another beam of red light, a strange-looking, elephant-like Pokemon appeared. Its body was a bright shade of yellow, except for its lower torso and legs, which were a rather ugly brown. Its trunk-like nose twitched as it sniffed the pine-scented air, and its blank, unblinking eyes silently soaked in the scene.

    “Oh, dear,” the Pokedex muttered worriedly, “someone please call in the exterminator to get this monstrosity away from my superior being. Drowzee, the Freak Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Freak, Weight is Freak. In case you couldn’t tell, this thing is a serious freak. Apparently it likes to share little kids’ dreams with them at night. And as for its nose … well, I don’t think I have to tell you what that looks like. Given all this, it is obviously Michael Jackson in disguise. Therefore, don’t let it approach you unless getting raped is your cup of tea. What a freak.”

    “For once, I have to agree with you,” Leaf said grudgingly, dropping her Pokémon onto the dusty ground.

    <I agree too,> Frosti said, wincing as he picked himself up. <Ever looked in a mirror, buddy? I guess not. Because if you had, you would’ve scared your own nose off.>

    <Your prattle offends me,> Drowzee droned, the creepily happy expression on his face unchanging.

    “What a weirdo. Hit him with a Scratch!”

    “That won’t be an issue,” Fire replied serenely, startling everyone with the abrupt calmness in his voice. “Drowzee, that thing’s at close range, you can’t miss with a Confusion.”

    <Drowzee lives to serve Master,> the Pokemon said nasally, spreading his hands before himself. A pulsating ball of violet energy sprang to life between his palms, and was promptly launched at the flame Pokemon. The Confusion struck Frosti in the gut, but the young lizard managed to slash Drowzee’s arms before he fell.

    “Hey, look! One of Fire’s Pokemon actually listened to him! Scandalous!”

    “Shut your trap, Ocean. Alright, Drowzee, Pound him while he’s down.” Drowzee curled his three fingers into a fist, slamming it brutally into Frosti. The fire-type moaned as he struggled to his feet.

    “Oh, Frosti! You okay?”

    Frosti nodded, but suddenly zigzagged around the scene until he crashed into a tree. Holding his head, he groaned, <Leeeeaf, Fire should be disqualified. He’s got ten Drowzees over there.>

    Leaf gritted her teeth. Frosti’s confusion easily gave Drowzee the upper hand. Even though Frosti still had a lot of fight left in him, he’d end up hurting himself. Nevertheless, she was determined to beat Fire’s mutated pig. “Sunny Day!” she cried.

    In his clouded mind, Frosti dimly heard his trainer’s command and gave his tail an almighty swish. As the flame on his tail grew blindingly bright, so did the sunlight above the combatants, piercing through the thick emerald canopy overhead until it illuminated the forest as far as the eye could see. Drowzee shrieked and covered his eyes with his hands. <Master, save me from the light! It buuuuuuurns!>

    “No! C’mon, Drowzee, shield your eyes! Another Confusion!”

    Drowzee, however, refused to move his hands from his eyes, leaving him unable to use the move.

    “Scratch again, Frosti! Then—“

    As Frosti’s claws cut into his foe again, however, he opened his toothy mouth and released a series of small orange flames, which sliced through the air dramatically half a second before making contact with Drowzee’s skin. The freakish elephant screeched as a purplish-black welt began to appear one of his stubby arms, and he clutched it with the other hand, his normally apathetic face contorted with pain. <Master, this burns too!> he squealed.

    “What? The devil-spawn from under a rock learned Ember? Impossible. Pound it, Drowzee, Pound, Pound, Pound!”

    With great effort, Drowzee attempted to ignore the wound and punched Frosti several times. The Charmander made no move to avoid the onslaught, but instead sat with a dazed grin on his face. <Heheh, that tickled,> he chortled, before falling forward and slamming into the dirt.

    “Ouch. Frosti seems to have fainted, so I guess Drowzee wins this round.”

    “Oh, poor Frosti,” Leaf sighed, picking her little lizard up and cradling him in her arms. Stupid confusion, she thought to herself bitterly. I’ll avenge you, my pretty. Let’s see here, Paris needs experience, I guess. I don’t want her to get hurt, though … ugh, whatever. “Show him whatcha got, Paris!” she called, releasing her small turtle-like Pokemon.

    As she landed on the battlefield, Paris looked up at Drowzee and squealed loudly, half from excitement, half from fear. She glanced back at her trainer and asked, <Will you protect me, Mommy?>

    Leaf’s heart leapt into her mouth: her baby Pokemon had said her first words! But remembering she was in a battle, she decided to save cuddling for a later time. “Of course I’ll protect you, Paris. If he gets too rough with you I’ll keep you from getting too hurt, but if you listen carefully to what I tell you, you can beat him all by yourself. Now, give him a taste of your Hail!”

    “Leaf, what the hell are you babbling to yourself for?” Fire snarled. However, this was just the opening Paris needed, as she closed her eyes, raised her adorable face towards the bright sun, and sprayed a stream of freezing water from her mouth. As the stream disappeared into the sky, the sun vanished behind a sudden onslaught of thick gray clouds, which instantly poured out thousands of icy chunks onto the forest below. Miles away, several furious picnickers stormed into news buildings to sue the weathermen.

    “Atta girl!” Leaf cheered as Paris confidently watched Drowzee get pelted by the hail. Thud, thud, thud went the small shards of ice as they smashed into his head, until finally the cumulative damage fainted him, making him slump over in defeat.

    “Huzzah! Leaf wins, Fire loses! Suck on that, dude!” Ocean shouted, high-fiving Leaf.

    “Nooooooooooo! How did I lose?” Fire roared furiously, recalling Drowzee.

    “Let’s see,” Ocean said thoughtfully as he and Lightning applauded Leaf’s victory. “First, she actually used her brain before she barked out an order, and second, she used TMs. I don’t blame you for not using any, though, because you happen to lack both TMs and brains. But that’s okay: the Rangers might still accept you.”

    Fire’s face took on a raging shade of bright magenta as he stormed down the trail, cursing very loudly as he went.

    “Fire? Fire, the Tauros is gonna get you, come back!” Lightning called out worriedly.

    “Screw Fire,” Ocean sighed. “If he wants to get gored to death by some rabid hamburger, that’s his problem, not ours.”

    “We’d better get a move on,” Leaf stated, pulling a berry from her handbag and pushing it between Frosti’s teeth. “Wasn’t I cool, though? That was an awesome battle right there.”

    <Mmmmmmmph! Sweeeeeeeeeeeet!> Frosti squealed, puckering his mouth until it appeared to be imploding. He leapt from his trainer’s arms and dashed around wildly before he found the sense to spit it into a nearby bush.

    “Well, at least you’re conscious now,” Leaf said.

    “Say, Leaf, you understood what Paris was saying?” Lightning asked excitedly. “That’s so fricking cool! What does Peach think of me, am I a good trainer?”

    The brunette turned to Peach, who was sitting on Lightning’s shoulder. The mouse snuggled her face into her trainer’s neck and giggled, <Better than a good trainer. He’s a babe! I wanna cuddle with him every night and give him gentle shocks!>

    Leaf sweatdropped nervously and faced Lightning and Ocean again. “Meh, she thinks you’re okay. But don’t you guys start thinking I’m gonna turn into some sort of ‘Pokemon Whisperer’, or whatever. I don’t want this to turn into some kind of ragtag band of clowns and midgets, got that?”

    Ocean looked over at Lightning and all of their released Pokemon. “Too late.”

    * * *

    As the trio continued on their way, they were blissfully unaware of a young man watching intently from a tree nearby. It was, of course, the mysterious young man from Viridian, who had thankfully abandoned his tacky afro for a slightly less tacky green wig. At the moment, he was calling his Boss via his sleek cell phone, although very gingerly due to a large mass of bruises collected from the Lapras’s hailstorm.

    One ring … two—click.

    “Ah, Mister Cobalt, I was wondering what had become of you. What news?”

    Cobalt gritted his teeth. I’m not particularly fond of being talked about like an object, he thought sourly. “Well, sir, I deactivated the security cameras in the Viridian National Bank. That’s what you told me to do, remember?”

    “I’m a busy man, Cobalt, I can’t be expected to remember every petty detail.”

    “Of course.” Moron, he added in his mind. “I’m following the group with the shiny Lapras, sir. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that they’re heading for Pewter City.”

    A dry chuckle emerged from the phone, laced with static. “Nice pun there. Rocket scientist, Rocket scientist … I’m so hilarious. Now, since you can tail them so well, I’m going to let you just keep doing that.”

    Cobalt’s jaw dropped. “B-but sir, th-there must be some mistake,” he sputtered disbelievingly. “That’s grunt work! I’m a fricking admin!”

    “I’m very well aware of that. But I can’t trust a common grunt to return to base with the Lapras safe and sound. I can trust a ‘fricking admin’ with that, however. Understand?”

    “Yes sir,” the young man muttered. That was the first rule everyone learned upon entering Team Rocket: when the Boss had spoken, the Boss had spoken.

    “Excellent. And for sake of keeping your cover, I’m going to ask that you switch out all your party Pokemon except your starter. People looking at your team could be able to deduce who you are.”

    Cobalt sighed and proceeded to scan five of his Poke Balls against the surface of an old, tarnished Pokedex, taking care to send them to Rocket Headquarters rather to than their usual destination of his PC. They dematerialized one by one, until finally he was left with just one, which he held gingerly in his fingers. This is gonna be a long, hard trip, he thought to himself.

    “Excellent, they’ve all arrived safely. Now listen, I’ve sent a travel companion out to help you with your task. She should be meeting you somewhere along the road in Viridian Forest. That is all.” Click.

    Cobalt stared at the phone for a minute before putting it away, pulling his gaze to his single Poke Ball instead. Well, I should have realized that this was going to happen eventually, he thought in defeat, releasing his single Pokemon. A large blue toad materialized on the branch directly in front of him, a sleek green bulb decorating her back. She glared at him with utmost distaste. <You suck,> she snarled.

    “Look, you’re not my preferred choice for a starter, but at least we can cooperate, right?”

    Bulbasaur stuck her flat nose into the air disdainfully before turning away from him, putting her large blue behind in his face. A foul gust of wind blasted noisily from it, causing him to gag. <You raised me up only five levels, kept me cooped up in my Poke Ball for three whole years, and you expect me to want to help you? You make me snicker.>

    This is gonna be a really long trip, Cobalt groaned inwardly, letting go of the branch to hold his nose, only to fall off out of the tree and land on a power line directly below him. His shrieks pierced the fresh forest air.

    * * *

    “We’re never gonna make it,” Lightning moaned, looking up at the shining canopy above them in despair as he listened to the agonized wails echoing in the distance.

    “Lightning, we’ve only been walking for ten minutes. We should get out of here soon.”

    “Hush!” Leaf barked, halting everyone in their tracks. “Do you hear that?”

    “You mean the howling monster? Yeah, I heard it.” Lightning shivered, sticking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

    “No, not that. Something’s squeaking up ahead on the trail.”

    They listened hard, craning their necks to catch some sort of sound. Very faintly, a soft squealing reached their ears. They darted around the bend, kicking up dust as they went, and halted in their tracks. Before them stood two small, worm-like Pokemon, playfighting in the middle of the road. One had freakish red antennae decorating its head, clashing with its lime-green, segmented body and wide, creepy-looking black eyes. The other was somewhat more pleasing to the eye, with its head and tail each adorned with a white spike, and cute little feet which allowed its brownish body to zigzag gleefully around.

    “Ooooh, more Pokemon! This should be fun!” the Pokedex squealed delightedly. “Let’s see here. Caterpie, the Maggot Pokemon. Gender is Male. Height is Puny, Weight is Flea. This ugly little thing eats a bunch of leaves day in and day out, because they’re greedy gluttons. They’re among the most useless and boring Pokemon in the world. That’s pretty much it. Now for the other one. Weedle, the Spike Pokemon. Gender is Female. Height is Microscopic, Weight is Dust Speck. Weedle bears very little resemblance to Caterpie, which it should be thankful for. The two are virtually the same otherwise, but Weedle is a helluva lot cooler because of those badass spikes it has.”

    The two caterpillars chased each other around, squealing mischievously. Either they hadn’t heard the group approaching, or they didn’t care. Leaf noted with interest that Caterpie was staying off of the grass to the left of the trail, and Weedle was staying away from the right. After a few moments, Caterpie darted onto a patch of grass on the right side of the trail, where he paused to catch a breath. Noticing that Weedle was sitting on the trail waiting for him, he exclaimed, <C’mon over on dis side! It’s so much more fun den on dat road ting!>

    <It’s not allowed,> Weedle replied, suddenly becoming serious despite Caterpie’s obnoxious accent. <You know that.>

    <Aw, gimme a break! Nobody’s lookin’, ‘n’ it’ll only be fer a minute anyway.>

    Weedle craned her small head forward and looked into the shadows nervously. <Well, I don’t know …>

    Caterpie sighed. <Look, da udda kids on ya side won’t ever let it go that ya didn’t have da spine ta cross da road. But whateva suits Miss High‘n’Mighty …>

    Aggravated, Weedle puffed out her chest – or whatever passed for a chest on a caterpillar, anyway. <I am not “High and Mighty”! I’ll prove it to you! Watch!> She stalked over to Caterpie haughtily, taking short, confident strides.

    The instant she set foot on the grass, however, a huge gust of wind whipped the forest about, blowing the twisted trees into a flashing green-and-black frenzy. The trainers’ Pokemon squeaked and grabbed aimlessly at grass, rocks, anything that could keep them from flying away. As the trainers quickly recalled their Pokemon, Weedle shrieked above the howling gale, <Caterpie, what’s going on?>

    Rather than answering with words, Caterpie laughed evilly as a massive horde of huge, black-and-white butterfly Pokemon emerged from the shadows of nearby trees, like something from an old horror movie. Their broad, scaly wings flapped viciously, sending the wild wind to and fro, and suddenly everyone realized that those bugs were the cause of the tempest. Weedle began to tremble violently as two particularly buff Butterfree advanced toward her, stubby arms ready to grab, leering grins stretching their fanged mouths.

    A melodious buzzing suddenly caused the attackers to pause. From the depths of the forest on the other side of the trail flew a contingent of large, black-and-yellow striped bee Pokemon. Each of their two skinny, silvery arms ended with a huge, conical stinger like a spear, while a third stinger protruded from their abdomens. Their thin, veined wings fluttered gracefully as they swooped to counter the foe, and their glittering ruby eyes, deeper than a bottomless hole in the ocean, roved gravely about the scene. They wasted no time in leaping at their enemies, stabbing mercilessly in the face of foes’ hissing wind and insidious beams.

    Then a slightly larger Beedrill and a rather obese Butterfree appeared behind their respective groups. The Beedrill swooped down into the midst of the action and grabbed the Weedle, who whimpered, <I’m s-so sorry, Daddy, the Caterpie told me—>

    <It’s not your fault,> he replied darkly, holding his shaking daughter protectively while glaring at the sumo-sized Butterfree. <It’s these *******s here who should be blamed.>

    <Dose insults won’t be gettin’ ya anywhere,> the giant enemy snapped back. <I’ll letcha know how dis went down. Remember da agreement? As long as ya stay on ya own side, ‘n’ we stay on ours, we won’t be attackin’ each udda. But ya daughta crossed da line ovah ta our side! Dis means war, ya buzzin’ bee!>

    <Well, your son tricked her into doing it!> the Beedrill shot in return.

    <Dat doesn’t matta,> Butterfree said carelessly. Caterpie crawled up next to his father and smirked superiorly at Weedle, who cringed. <It was ya side dat crossed inta our territory, so ya gotta pay da price! Boys!>

    Before anyone could blink, a dozen burly Butterfree swooped down at Beedrill, firing several sticky String Shots at him, rendering him unable to flee. Beedrill looked around the scene helplessly and suddenly noticed the young humans standing nearby, who had been watching the entire scene. <Here,> he gasped, as the sticky white strands squeezed his chest. With great effort, he tossed his young daughter at the group, before his arms were pinned to his sides. <Keep her safe … I won’t be able to forgive myself if they manage to torture her too.>

    Leaf only had to stare at the flying, flailing worm Pokemon for a second, before she realized that one of those spikes could easily put out an eye. Quickly, almost without thinking, she grabbed a Poke Ball from her belt and held it in front of her protectively. As Weedle got even closer, the Poke Ball opened, sucked the bug inside, and shut with a soft snap.

    One second … two … three. A soft ding signaled Weedle’s successful capture.

    But Leaf couldn’t celebrate her first catch now, not as she watched the horde of Butterfree carry the now thoroughly encased Beedrill off into the shadows, with the enraged swarm of bee Pokemon hot on their tail. Seconds later, they were all gone, as if they had never been. All but one.

    <Heh, my dad’s gonna gimme a huge rahward for helpin’ overthrow da Beedrill,> Caterpie laughed merrily, gazing after the battling insects in amusement. <I can’t believe dat Weedle actually listened ta me. Whata sucka. Well, I should go ‘n’ join da party ovah in da hood—>

    Whoosh.

    <What in da—> Caterpie had barely turned around when the flying red-and-white sphere closed around him, landing on the ground with a soft thump. One … two … three—

    “Yeah! I caught a Caterpie!” Lightning cheered, doing the same victory pose as yesterday. “Let me see here … I’m gonna call him Peter!” He abruptly began to perform a mildly disturbing victory dance, shaking his hips jovially. As usual, no one paid any attention to him.

    “Those Butterfree …” Leaf whispered, staring off into the depths of the forest. A bit of suspicious moisture gathered at the corners of her eyes, catching the light of the sun and making her squint. “They just … carried him away.”

    “I know, I know,” Ocean said in a soft voice. “But that’s how it is in the jungle, Leaf. Eat or be eaten. I guess the Beedrill got the short end of the stick this time.”

    Leaf looked back at him, examining the unusual seriousness on his face. He’s right, she realized. The world’s not a safe place. What if I had been in Weedle’s place? What if no one was going to sacrifice themselves for me? Taking a deep breath, she nodded and said, “I don’t think we can do much here, we should go on. I think I’ll call Weedle Cheri, it sort of fits.”

    “It works,” Ocean acknowledged, giving the shadows of the trees a final glance before walking over to Lightning, bashing him on his blond head in an effort to return him to his senses.

    “One day I’ll come back,” Leaf declared softly, turning her gaze toward her newly occupied Poke Ball. “Someday when I’ve gotten stronger, I’m going to return to this place. And when I do, Cheri, I’ll help you win your father back.”

    With that said, she began tiptoeing carefully towards her companions, avoiding the drying, sticky white strings which littered the road.

    * * *
    Last edited by SugarPesticide; 25th June 2010 at 1:07 AM.
    FF.Net profile | Blazing Frost | Project Valentine | River Styx | Hexachromalurgy | Fizzy Bubbles

    Latest PV pair: Shedinja/Sylveon - What if the MST3K guys did Roshomon? I think it would go a little something like this.

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