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Thread: Divine Intervention - [PG-13]

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    Default Divine Intervention - [PG-13]

    Hello everyone, I'm back and with a new fic too! After a few months of not writing a single word of fanfiction, I've finally realized that writing fanfiction is what kept me so interested in Pokemon. I've written two fics before, but unfortunately, I never got to finishing either. But don't fret, because I guarantee that won't be the fate of my new piece (where have we heard that before?). Third time's the charm though, right? Now, before we get to the fic, there are some things you may want to know about my writing style:

    "Text here" <-- These indicate that a person is talking (duh) OR someone is talking telepathically.

    Italics <-- Thoughts will be written in italics, no quotes.

    "<Text here>" <-- These indicates that a Pokemon is talking in their native tongue. Don't worry, there's an explanation (sort of) as to why humans can understand their language.

    ********** <-- These indicate a change in setting or that a good amount of time has passed.

    Please note that this is not a trainer fic or PMD fic. I guess you could call some aspects of it a journey type, but that's probably the closest you'll get to fitting it in a single genre.

    This fic is suitable for readers 13+. This fic may or may not contain the following: blood, descriptive violence, mild swearing, and/or death.

        Spoiler:


    PM List: Lady Myuu;

    Am I missing anything else... Oh right, the fic!


    Prologue: Peace and Catastrophe


    Peace.

    A word used so often, but in truth, is never attained.

    However, many have come close. But no matter how close they get, it always ends with the same thing...

    Catastrophe.


    **********

    It all began in a small, secluded village. There wasn’t anything particularly special about the village; it had dished out maybe one or two decent Pokemon trainers, but nothing more. Nonetheless, this village was chosen to be the place to breaks that fragile thing we call ‘peace’.

    A slight cough.

    That was the first indication of the upcoming calamity. First a cough, then a sneeze, followed by other signs of a simple common cold. Although many of the villagers had been afflicted with this swift sickness, most dismissed it as something that was just ‘passing by’. Their ignorance would soon cost them their lives. Things began to get odd when the infected started dying in rapid succession. Doctors from across the region raced to solve this mystery while the silent killer spread with every passing second. Little did they know that this was an act of fate and wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. The only thing professionals noticed was the Pokemon seemed to have a complete immunity to the sickness.

    A government ordered containment was placed upon the ill-fated village, but it was much too late for that. The virus had already traveled across borders and became a global threat. Scientists of the world pondered on this epidemic and why it didn’t affect any of the Pokemon species. As they worked to find this “immunity gene,” thousands were dying daily. The popular hobby of Pokemon training was seen as the main contributor to the spread of the virus and soon after that, the Leagues of the Pokemon world fell apart. People went wild with terror, some causing even more harm than the virus itself. As towns emptied out, the Pokemon took the opportunity to reclaim the land taken from them, and faced no remorse in defiling the mass graves. This plague continued for the next two and a half years and in that time, almost all of human civilization disappeared. Whoever was left had already abandoned scientific means of an explanation and was desperately praying to their gods for salvation. Unfortunately, for them, salvation never came.

    But there was one town on the outskirts of a region once known as Kanto that was left standing. The virus had destroyed all civilization around them and was drawing closer. It soon became clear to many that their gods had no plan to stop this “human cleansing.” But one group still kept faith in their gods; the Pokemon gods. As this group’s religious beliefs grew in popularity among the town, something happened. The virus’ death count dropped and continued to drop until it claimed no more lives. The scientists were baffled by the sudden disappearance but for the townspeople, the answer was clear. It was an act of divine intervention.

    The seven original leaders of the religious group were praised and treated like kings, as were their descendants, for bringing an end to the biological massacre. Civilization has slowly been rebuilding itself around the world, but even centuries later, the sacred town remains to be the center of activity. The world seemed to be in long era of peace and tranquility.

    But this could not last.

    There were others there that opposed the idea of humans worshiping Pokemon gods. In the beginning, they hid from society, fearing the strict rule of the religious leaders. But the time for hiding is over, and a small band of rebels have decided to do something. A band consisting of human and Pokemon alike, both hating the gods for even letting the virus last so long, among other reasons. And so this small band has taken it upon them to reveal the truth to Pokemon and humankind, even if it means taking on the retribution of the gods.


    ***** End of Prologue *****

    A short Prologue as usual. Due to its size, I'll post the first chapter in a few days. Normally, the time between updates will be one to two weeks. And before I forget, this chapter was beta'd by diamondpearl876.
    Last edited by Glajummy; 9th July 2008 at 3:42 AM.
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    Sounds interesting...gonna have to wait to read the first chapter though....lol...
    Pokemon Black team:

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    Heh, much better than before. Yes, the set-up here is very nice (nice might not be the word, actually...), and this is looking to be just as good as before. Seeing as it was just a prologue, however, there's not a whole lot for me to say (and I'm terrible at spoiling...).

    Except excellent job, and can't wait for the first chapter!

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    kingferret53: Thanks for the compliment, and Chapter One will most likely be posted on Wednesday.

    duncan: Yo duncan, it sure has been a while since I've seen you in one of my threads. I'm glad that you enjoyed the prologue and hopefully, you'll like the first chapter even more.
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    This does inspire interest.

    I appreciate that you're not stringing together long and melodramatic descriptions of scenery and incidence, like many fic writers do when they're trying to sound realistic. It has a touch of seriousness, but it isn't overdone. Very nice.

    I'm curious to see how this plays out within the religious theme.
    3DS Code: 2723 9573 9029

        Spoiler:- Whitman's code:

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    Profesco: It's nice to see that I'm doing something right this time, and you can see that with just the Prologue! I hope Chapter One can live up the hype.

    Note: This chapter was beta'd and is dedicated to diamondpearl876, whose birthday is today.

    Chapter One: Shadow in the Night



    It was winter in the city of Arcanum, and a fresh blanket of snow was already falling upon its residents. Snow-covered buildings towered above the landscape like white fingers reaching for the moonlit sky. And in the palm of this metaphorical hand was a dome shaped building, its walls made of pure silver and gold. The entirety of its grace glinted in the magnificent moonlight and could probably be spotted a mile away. However, on this particular night, the building only housed one individual. On the third floor was a room with more shelves and books than a library, and in a secluded corner sat a man, his eyes glued to the computer screen in front of him.

    The sound of keys clicking away echoed back and forth across the room as the man typed, stopping only to brush away his long black hair or fix his rather large glasses. His green eyes never so much as glanced down at the keyboard as he was quite skilled at this and wasn’t easily distracted. This one night would be an exception.

    There was a quick, almost unnoticeable, pitter patter from the ceiling that managed to disrupt the chorus of keys. Nonetheless, the man bolted up and examined the window above him. The snow was falling harder than usual that night, but there was no way it could make such a sound. With a dismissing chuckle and a tug on his brown coat, he turned back to his work.

    “Must have been my imagination. That’s what I get for working overtime two nights in a row,” he whispered to himself before making a quick adjustment to his glasses. However, as he withdrew his hand from the keyboard, the silence was cut short by another weird noise from above. Without the constant sound of keys being slammed down, the man was sure the sound was not a figment of his imagination. He quickly saved his worked and got up to get a better look.

    “Most of the bird Pokemon have flown south already, so what—.”

    The sentence was left unfinished as the man’s jaw dropped after inspecting the window. Right there, in plain sight, stood a shadowy figure staring back down at the worker. Its human-like silhouette made him shudder in his boots, but that was all the movement he could manage at the moment. The two looked at each other for a few seconds, but for the worker, it felt like the figure was peering into his very soul, reviewing and judging every action he had ever made in his short life. Then suddenly, the shape bent over and raised a fist in the air.

    “What is he... no, he won’t. He can’t!” the man managed to finally say, but a little too late. Before he could even raise a foot, the figure smashed through the window with a fist that seemed to be incased in a blue light. The man could only watch in terror as shards of glass, snow, and the mysterious figure rained down upon him. In a last minute endeavor to protect himself, the worker shielded his head with his arms and grimaced as the broken glass effortlessly cut threw his clothes and skin. Without warning, a heavy weight fell on his back, knocking him to the floor and sending his glasses across the room. Lying in a puddle of his own blood with his back probably permanently damaged, the man rested his head against the floor and waited for the grips of death. That is, until a pair hands grabbed him at the side and turned him on his back.

    “Ezekiel Orna, I presume?” said a voice that the speaker obviously ruffled up as to not sound like his normal self. Without his glasses, it was hard for Ezekiel to see anything clearly but that didn’t matter much, as his attacker was completely covered in a brown cloak. Even weirder, the voice seemed to echo in his head instead of being received by his ears.

    “I believe I asked you a question,” said the figure, this time sounding a bit annoyed.

    “Yes... I am he,” Ezekiel answered, trying his hardest to say it in a dignified tone. His fate was entirely in the hands of this man, and if sounding polite would keep him alive, he had to try it despite his various injuries.

    “Good, you can still speak. Now answer this: when is he coming back to town?”

    He? Ezekiel thought hard on who the mystery man could possibly be speaking about. No one special was coming back to town except...

    “Are you ta-talking about l-lord Peign? What is y-your business with one of th-the Sacred Seven?” Ezekiel muttered before coughing a little blood. He made a mental note not to try to give any long answers anymore.

    “I’m the asking the questions, and it’s your job to answer them.”

    Ezekiel glared at the figure, wishing he had the energy to launch a nice mixture of blood and saliva at his face. If the information he exposed led to the lord’s injury or death, he could never forgive himself. Of course, not answering could lead to his imminent demise.

    After a long silence, Ezekiel finally opened his mouth. “Exactly one week from today.”

    “Hmm... a week? That’s sooner than I had expected,” the figure muttered to his self. “Final question: do you know exactly where he will be at certain times in the day?”

    Blood unexpectedly spurted from Ezekiel’s mouth as he coughed at the question. Not only was that probably the most important question of the night, but it was also the easiest to answer. The reason for his late hours of work was to finish up lord Peign’s schedule for his next visit. There was absolutely no way it was a coincidence that Ezekiel was the one to be questioned, especially since his attacker knew his name beforehand. There was also little doubt left in Ezekiel’s mind that this man meant to harm the lord, or else he wouldn’t need such specific information.

    “Everything is sa-saved on a CD in the comp-computer over there,” the helpless victim answered. The captor looked around the room in a confused daze, but Ezekiel couldn’t be sure thanks to the cloak and his eyesight. “Over there,” he said, this time pointing at a white blur that resembled his computer. Either his eyesight was getting worse, or his injuries were finally taking their toll.

    The figure gave a slight nod and with one leap, landed right by the computer. If Ezekiel wasn’t fatally wounded or held captive, he would have applauded the acrobatic act. However, the next action of the mystery man was quite unexpected, if not completely bizarre. He picked of a stack of CDs from the desk stuffed then inside a side pocket. Ezekiel actually managed a chuckle— although painful— as he heard the sound of CDs scratching against each other.

    “What’s so funny?” called the voice in a relatively uneasy tone.

    What’s wrong with this guy? Ezekiel thought, staring at the blurry image before him. I just told him I was saving data on the disk, so the CD he is looking for is obviously in the disk drive. Wait... I’ve already said too much about lord Peign. Maybe this entire thing can be avoided if I lead him to believe he has what he wants.

    “Just thinking about how this is a horrible way to die,” he finally said.

    “Oh no,” the figure said, returning to his original position of standing over the dying man, “you won’t be dying here.” Ezekiel’s eyes immediately widened at the statement. A multitude of thoughts raced through his head, most of them not being too pleasant. Was he going to be held prisoner? Was he going to be interrogated with even more questions? Was he going to be... spared? All were possible as the figure bent down to grab Ezekiel and toss him over his shoulder, apparently not caring for his injuries. Ezekiel winced in the pain but dared not to scream, knowing that it would only make things worse.

    “The sirens are getting closer. It’s time we got out of here.”

    “Sirens? What are you talking about?” Ezekiel questioned, risking another burst of pain. Fortunate for him, it never came.

    “Oh yes, your human ears aren’t strong enough,” replied the figure, sounding as if he had just come to a great revelation. Then, with a strength no normal man could possess, he leapt onto a nearby bookcase, then onto a higher one, and finally the gaping hole where the window used to be. He landed gracefully on the snow covered roof, completely unhindered by the weight of his captive. Ezekiel, on the other hand, was still focused on the figure’s last sentence and barely noticed the magnificent feat.

    ‘Your human ears?’ What is this guy? he thought deeply, only to be interrupted by the snow’s soft touch on his neck, and for a moment, he thought it was Death creeping up on him. A strong, cold wind suddenly blew past, and Ezekiel felt a small portion of the cloak fall off. Bracing himself for the pain, he quickly altered his body and squinted at the figure’s exposed head. The weather and his horrible eyesight didn’t help Ezekiel at all, but he was still able to notice the blue and black fur, pointed ears, and a head in the shape of a jackal. However, before Ezekiel could examine him anymore, the figure went on the move, shifting his body back to its original position.

    A Lucario! he finally realized, gaping at the being before him. The glowing fist, the odd voice, the unnatural acrobatics, and a whole lot of other stuff that happened on this crazy night; it all makes perfect sense now. But what does a Lucario want with me, or lord Peign for that matter?

    “Why are you keeping me alive?” Ezekiel murmured as the Lucario walked toward the edge of the roof.

    “Because it’s not my job to kill you.”

    “That’s very merciful of—.”

    “That’s Lucy’s job,” he added with a smirk. Ezekiel was left breathless at the statement and in seconds, finally lost consciousness.

    “There’s no turning back now,” the Lucario said as he gazed into the night sky. “Are you watching, oh wonderful gods? Next it will be one of the Seven who bleeds at my hands.”


    ***** End of Chapter One *****

    A PM list will be set up if anyone would like to be notified of any updates.
    Last edited by Glajummy; 3rd April 2008 at 3:38 AM.
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    That Lucario's got a really dark sence of humor. I was thinking he was a Mewtwo at first. :P They're along the same lines! *I say defencively*
    With every fic you write, you improve. This is amazing! It's very descriptive but you still don't overdo it. I can't find anything to criticize!
    If you think the world should be a better place for everyone put this in you sig. (started by Mewmie the shiny Mew)
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    MtsM: Thank you for sticking with me on yet another fanfic and I know I can trust you when you say that I've improved.

    The newest chapter should be up later today or maybe tomorrow.
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    You're welcome. Yay! For both trusting me and a new chapter soon!
    If you think the world should be a better place for everyone put this in you sig. (started by Mewmie the shiny Mew)
    [IMG]http://i35.*******.com/20rjyvk.jpg[/IMG] thx to Pokemon4eva for the amazing pic of me, the Mew, and Skyler, the Absol and my mate. You're great!!
    I AM OBSESSED WITH HARRY POTTER AND POKEMON AND DEATH NOTE AND PROUD OF IT!!!!

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    As promised, here's chapter two! A few more characters are introduced but unfortunately, not much action. Enjoy!


    Chapter Two: The Rebellion


    The snow quickly turned into a heavy rain and the rooftops became a slippery slush. Still, the Lucario made elegant leaps and landings with Ezekiel on his back. He had considerably increased his speed since their escape from the temple as the police had arrived much faster than expected. As the duo slipped through the tall tower-like buildings that surrounded Arcanum, it was almost like they had entered a new continent. Outside the fast-paced city was a rural town that looked straight out of the middle-ages. The streets and sidewalks were made from a rough, gray rock and looked as if no one had worked on them since their creation. Pot holes— most likely caused by wild Pokemon rather than deterioration— littered the land. Unlike the main city, which glinted in the moonlight, the town rested in the shadow of the tall towers, as if being watched over by a higher force. The houses, which were sloppily put together with wood and bricks, all creaked in unison as the rain slammed on their roofs. But even in a slum like this, the Order (which is what the Sacred Seven called their organization) had its influences. In fact, they governed much of the entire region, but that was soon to change— very soon in the eyes of that rebellious Lucario.

    “<This seems like a nice place to rest,>” stated the Lucario as he placed Ezekiel on the wet ground. The rain was washing away the blood spilled by the human, but the stench remained attached to the Pokemon. He wasn’t too fond of the smell of human blood but figured he’d be seeing a lot of it soon.


    ****** Arcanum *****


    Sirens could be heard from all corners of the city as police cars raced to the scene of the crime. Countless heads peeked from high windows as the vehicles sped by at an unprecedented speed. Radio and news broadcasts were urging citizens to stay indoors at all costs, unless they had something to lose.

    The cars swarmed around the dome-shaped structure known as the Temple of Arceus. Both Pokemon and humans burst from the machines, all wearing a facial expression of terror and uncertainty. A team of Machoke was quickly assembled, and with their grayish, bulky mainframe, burst through the front doors of the temple like a swat team. Their human counterparts followed closely behind, guns gripped in their sweaty hands. The entire force scattered across the building, some staying to scope the first floor while others checked out the higher levels. As the investigation went on, a single man remained outside the doors of the temple. Unlike the officers, he wore a fine black suit and held an expensive looking umbrella just above his bald head. In his other hand was a jet black cell phone pressed firmly against his ear.

    “So, how are things going down there?” questioned a male voice from the device in a calmness that could only be achieved by one who faced many years of hardship.

    “Not too well, lord Peign. From what my officers are telling me, there was a break-in on the third floor,” answered the bald man.

    “The third floor? There’s nothing but useless books up there!”

    “Yes, my lord, but tonight there was something more. A man by the name of Ezekiel Orna was supposed to be here preparing your schedule for your visit. The window above his work station is the only one that is broken and we found traces of blood almost washed away with the rain water. Mr. Orna is nowhere to be found.”

    “Hmm... this is rather odd. Nonetheless, we can’t allow this incident to interfere with my visit. Give the media a cover-up story; we can’t let the world know the Order is subject to petty burglaries.”

    A smile suddenly appeared on the suited man’s blank face. “Luckily, Mr. Orna saved his data on a disk that we now have in our possession. Unfortunately, his computer was too damaged from the falling glass and the heavy rain to check its contents. We’ll have a professional finish what he started as we search for him.”

    “Excellent work, my boy. I was right to appoint you as head of the police force. Well, duties call, but feel free to update me on any new findings.” With that, the elderly male voice was replaced by a dial tone. And it just so happens that at that exact moment, a police officer frantically burst through the doors of the temple. His long, slender legs took giant leaps as he ran toward the bald man. By the time he reached his destination, he was drenched all over and panting madly.

    “Sergeant, you’ve got to have a look at this!” shouted the officer, but his voice was still overpowered by the monstrous storm. He quickly ducked under the umbrella— accidentally wetting the sergeant’s suit— and held up a transparent zip-lock bag. Incased in it was what looked like a small patch of blue fur mixed with some blood.

    “Calm down!” ordered the sergeant with an annoyance in his voice.

    “S-sorry sir, but look what we found. It fell from the window and right into my hand!” the cop exclaimed with enthusiasm.

    “Hmm... this is interesting,” whispered the sergeant as he held the bag close to his face. “This is definitely not from a human and according to my research, Mr. Orna’s hair is not blue. Get this to the forensics lab immediately; our culprit will be found out soon enough.”

    With a barely noticeable nod and a small grin, the officer left his sergeant’s presence and ran over to a large, white van. The sergeant finally moved away from his black car and walked along the end of the dome-shaped building. He stopped just under the broken window where Lucario had kidnapped Ezekiel only hours before.

    “I’m sure this is the doing of those damn rebels. I’ll see to it that they are punished without mercy.”


    **********


    Ezekiel’s eyelids slowly opened for the first time in hours. Almost immediately, an unbearable pain surged throughout his entire body, bringing tears to his eyes. After taking a moment or two to dismiss the throbbing, he tried to examine his surroundings. Whether it be that his eyesight was hindered by the collection of tears, the absence of his glasses, or that the room had little to no light, Ezekiel couldn’t see a thing. But he still had a sense of direction and knew for a fact that he was facing the ceiling. I’m on a bed, he finally realized before trying to sit up. Without warning, another ache shot through his body, and he was painfully reminded of his injured back. However, there was something odd about the sting. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it was when he first got hurt and Ezekiel could feel bandages wrapped around his torso.

    “Where the hell am I?” he said aloud, rubbing his head. Suddenly, footsteps could be heard in the distance and a door swung open. Light flooded the dark room, illuminating it enough for Ezekiel to notice that he was nowhere special. All four walls were made of stone and at the doorway stood two figures, one of which he recognized instantly. It wore no cloak this time and exposed its beige fur. The being next to it was considerably shorter and was supporting itself with a cane. Even so, it was the one that approached Ezekiel until it was at his bedside. The young man was frozen in terror as a warm hand grabbed his skull forward and the other brought something closer to his face. And so it was an immense surprise when the hand pulled away and Ezekiel opened his eyes to see a new pair of glasses granting him his vision back.

    “If my information is correct, that should be the correct prescription for your glasses,” stated a raspy voice. Ezekiel looked into the face of man whose white beard and bald head showed that he was at least in his sixties. He wore a cloak similar to the Lucario’s from the shoulder down. In Ezekiel’s silence, the Lucario moved forward and joined the two humans.

    “<Be thankful that you are alive. If it was up to me, you would have been dumped in the sewers.>” The Lucario refrained from using telepathy that time and spoke the words in the language of the Pokemon. Ever since “The Great Plague” (as it was called) humans and Pokemon were forced to have a much closer relationship. The rewarding skill of understanding Pokespeech that most Pokemon trainers possessed was no longer attributed to that profession. Now generations later, the skill was basically programmed in the DNA of all humans. But understanding the Pokemon’s comment didn’t help to bring an end to Ezekiel’s silence, and instead caused him to back up a bit.

    The old man shot an irritated glare at the Pokemon and turned back to Ezekiel with a smile. “Please, excuse Lupe’s behavior, he has his own problems with humanity, especially those who work for the Order.” Amazingly, at the sound of his hoarse voice, Lupe relaxed his face.

    “Where am I?” Ezekiel managed to mutter as he tried to sit upright.

    “The rebel hideout,” answered the elderly man bluntly. The jaw of the younger human literally dropped at the reply. The rebels had most of their influence in the Johto region, where there was great conflict with the Order. Their hideout was always expected to be in heart of Johto, around Goldenrod, and even though Arcanum stood between the two regions, it would be quite the feat to get him that far in such a short amount of time. The only explanation that occurred to him was that the hideout was much closer to Arcanum than anyone could have suspected.

    “What do you want from me? The last thing that Lucario said was that I was to be killed.”

    “Ah, yes, he has a tendency to stray from his main objective. No, Mr. Orna, I can assure you that you will live. That is, as long as you cooperate with us.” For some reason, maybe it was the calmness of this man’s voice, but Ezekiel felt like he could trust him. However, there were still some things that he just needed to know.

    “How do you know so much about me? And why did you need that information?”

    Lupe jumped at the question and decided to answer, “<Ivan here ordered a few of us to keep an eye on you, and for some time we have. You are a necessity to our plans. And you will soon find out why we needed that information.>”

    What the hell is a Pokemon doing siding with the rebels? Do they oppose their own gods? Ezekiel thought, not paying much attention to the Lucario’s answer.

    “I thought the rebel group was trying to liberate Johto from the influence of the Sacred Seven and from what I can tell, you guys are winning the battle. Now what are you planning?”

    “The rebels are not as unified as you might have thought. The majority of us wish to get Johto under our control, but others like Lupe don’t think that’s enough. They want to liberate the entire world and—.”

    “— and they’ll do it by killing the Sacred Seven. What’s wrong with you people!? Those seven priests saved humankind from complete eradication and this is how you thank them?”

    Lupe’s crimson eyes dimmed an even deeper red as he listened to Ezekiel’s outburst. Ivan must have noticed this as he tapped the Lucario on the shoulder and led him out the room.

    “If you value your life, watch what you say around that one. He is extremely passionate about his cause, albeit I doubt it can be accomplished. He insists on doing things his own way, and if I had ordered anyone else for your capture, I’m sure you’d be in much less pain,” Ivan said with a faint smile and Ezekiel’s state of mind was beginning to fall apart.

    This has got to be a nightmare. I’m just a normal commuter who works for the Order, and even though I have a closer relationship with the Sacred Seven, it’s not as important as one of their personal guards. And now this guy is casually talking to me as if we were old friends!

    “I bet by now you’re wondering why you’re so important to our— or at least Lupe’s— goal. In truth, you’re the only one on the inside willing to join our cause.”

    “Join? The rebels!? You’re out of your mind, old man! I work for and follow the Order! They are the ones who brought peace to this world!”

    Ivan’s eyes drifted from left to right as his younger counterpart spoke. With a heavy sigh, he slowly walked over to Ezekiel’s side with a hand digging through his cloak. Expecting a weapon to be revealed, the young man was fairly confused when Ivan pulled out a yellow envelope. A deep frown had replaced his usual smile as he handed it to Ezekiel.

    “Peace, you say? Yes, from where you’re coming from you can call it that. But what they don’t tell you is how they enforce that peace. Anyone who speaks against them is an enemy to their empire and must be dealt with. That envelope describes how they dealt with your father,” said the geezer rather coldly.

    His words hit Ezekiel like a freight train as he began to catch on to what Ivan was implying and ripped the envelope open. They told me he died in a car accident! His mind was racing as to what this document could possibly hold. He nearly jumped off the bed as he read the trop of the document: The Assassination of Milus Orna. Right in front of him was the plan to kill his own father and at the bottom was a very familiar signature: H. Peign.

    Ezekiel had seen that signature so many times that he could tell a fake from an authentic one, and this was definitely real. The bewildered man quickly read over the document, stopping at phrases like “rebellious leader” and “a menace to all we believe in.” He must have read the entire thing three times before he finally came to reality. The Order of which he praised and glorified nearly every single day of his life sentenced his father to death.

    “Your father worked in the Johto region, so it was easy for them to cover up the story. The photos you received were fakes; there are copies in that envelope.” Ezekiel dared not look in the envelope, as he no longer doubted Ivan. Ideas popped in and out of his head, ideas that the Order made sure none of its true followers even pondered. Contradictions and paradoxes arose in his mind and he began to feel light headed. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t tell which side were the good guys.

    “I know this is a lot for you to take in, so I’ll leave you alone. When you are ready, ask anyone for Ivan and I’m sure someone will show you the way to my room. If you still side with the Order, we’ll find a way to get you out of here without letting our see our exact locations, so think hard.” Without anything more to say, Ivan left Ezekiel to contemplate.


    **********


    Ezekiel had decided the best way to clear his mind was to get some rest, and was just waking up from his sleep. Truth be told, he knew which side for once he saw the evidence, but the entire ordeal had left him weary. That Lucario— Lupe— he’s right. This Order problem will never truly be solved unless the head is taken out. I’ll do whatever I can to make those *******s pay!

    Obviously forgetting about his injuries, Ezekiel jumped out of the bed, only to fall back to the ground in an overwhelming pain. He quickly made a note not to try that again. Someone from the outside must have heard the loud thump he made and the door creaked. There stood Lupe, bathed in the light from outside. The Lucario looked at the human with emotionless eyes, and if Ezekiel wasn’t mistaken, a bit of hate.

    “I apologize for earli—.”

    “<Get up and follow me,>” he ordered with a glare. Whether or not he noticed Ezekiel was hurt, it was apparent he had no intent on helping him. With whatever strength he had left in him, Ezekiel forced himself to get up and stand straight. As soon as he got to his feet he tilted over again and his face slammed into the cold, stone wall.

    “<All you humans are useless,>” Lupe grunted as he walked over to Ezekiel. He ruthlessly swung the human’s arm over his neck, ignoring his wounds. The two slowly walked out of the room, into a hallway constructed of the same cold, gray stone. Aside from the wooden door on the other side of the hallway, no features stood out in the plain setting.

    “You call this a hideout? How do you accomplish anything is such a small place?”

    “<Heh, you haven’t seen anything yet,>” said Lupe with a smirk. As they got closer to the other door, noises from the other side could be heard. It got louder and louder until finally, Lupe reached out, turned the knob, and pushed it open.

    “Wow.”

    That was all Ezekiel could manage as he feasted on the sight before him. Hundreds of beings— a mixture of Pokemon and humans— swarmed around an immensely large chamber. The usual stone walls were covered by colorful drapes and murals of absolute beauty. It resembled an oversized bar as rows of tables and chairs were set up, and Pokemon and humans laughed and joked as if belonging to one species. At first glance, it looked like uncivilized chaos. But living in the shadow of the Order could cloud anyone’s judgment, including Ezekiel’s. No, this wasn’t chaos. This was true peace.

    “Ho-how have you been keeping this a secret?” Ezekiel stammered, still stunned by what was just revealed to him.

    “<We’re underground, just west of Arcanum,>” answered a feminine voice before Lupe had a chance. Ezekiel quickly looked over his head at the sound of another Pokemon. There stood a creature no taller than his waist with skin as black as night. A red, fan-like appendage jutted out from her head and it leaned over her forehead like bangs. She held her clawed hands behind her back and fashioned a childish grin on her face. If Ezekiel didn’t know any better, this Weavile was trying to act human.

    “<Lucy, what are you doing here?>” Lupe asked softly. Ezekiel would have been surprised by the casual talk if it wasn’t for the fact that Lupe had previously told him that he’d die at the hands of someone named Lucy. To his satisfaction, the Weavile barely noticed his presence.

    “<I want a word with you! You went on another mission without me!>”

    “<I told you already, I work better alone. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have an appointment with Ivan.>” Before the Weavile could even make another remark, Lupe quickly spun around and led Ezekiel through the dense crowd. All conversations seemed to stop as the two walked by, and countless eyes watched as they approached a pair of doors covered in red paint. Ezekiel noticed the Weavile was silently following them, but didn’t bother to bring it up at the risk of upsetting Lupe.

    “Come in,” called Ivan’s voice before they even reached the door. After taking a short breather, the two— three if you counted Lucy— entered the room and the eerie silence immediately ended. This room, although nearly the same size as the one Ezekiel was put in, was much different from the others. Newspaper articles and various pictures covered the walls, only leaving room for two large light bulbs to dangle. In the middle was Ivan, seated at a desk facing a black laptop. The only other thing on the desk was a stack of CDs, some of which Ezekiel immediately recognized.

    “Have you come to a decision?” he asked, not taking his eyes off of the screen.

    “Ye-yeah, I have. I don’t want anything to do with the Order, and the only thing that really tied me down to Arcanum was my job, but I’m guessing you already knew that, right?”

    “You seem to be catching on, and we’re glad to have you on the team. I’m sure you’ve seen the life style of us rebels, but it’s nothing compared to that of those at the Johto base. Would you rather I transfer you there, to avenge your father and all?”

    Transfer, Ezekiel thought to himself while letting out a small chuckle. These guys really take this rebellion thing seriously. With a slight push, he released himself from Lupe’s grip and staggered closer to Ivan’s desk. “No, I want to help with Lupe’s cause. Liberating Johto isn’t enough; we need to bring the entire world to light.”

    “Courageous words spoken for a new recruit, but you’re very predictable. I’ve already created a file for you in the database, and your room will be tidied to your liking. I used to be the researcher for Lupe but in truth, I support the rebels fighting for Johto. So from this point on, you will be his new researcher,” Ivan instructed before shooting a warning glare at Lupe, whom of which was probably about to make an objection.

    “Thank you,” Ezekiel said in a daze, amazed at how organized the rebellion was. These past few hours had brought a lot of “firsts” in his life, and the newest one was that he saw a group that could actually oppose the Order’s power.

    “Don’t thank me just yet,” Ivan said, picking up a stack of the CDs on his desk. “You’ve already failed your first mission; none of these CDs hold the schedule for Peign’s visit. I did a little research and it seems it’s been taken to the police department. But that’s not the worst of it. Lupe, let me see your leg.”

    “<Excuse me?>”

    “<Just do it!>” Lucy ordered, pushing the Lucario forward. Ivan stepped out of his seat and pointed at Lupe’s left shin. To the Lucario’s surprise, there was a rather large patch of fur missing.

    “Soon they’ll know a Lucario was involved, and there aren’t that many around Arcanum. Lupe, I want you to go to the police department as soon as possible and get that CD. And I want Lucy to join you, to make sure you don’t do anything rash again.”

    Ezekiel looked at Lupe, expecting some sort of outburst, but the Pokemon simply nodded and turned around. Lucy, on the other hand, eyed Ezekiel suspiciously. Those deeps blue orbs appeared to battling with his green one and the two feverishly tried to understand what was going on in the other’s head. Finally, Lucy averted her eyes and focused them on Ivan.

    “<I hope you know what you’re doing,>” she said before following Lupe out the door.

    “Will they be okay?” Ezekiel asked worriedly as he turned to face Ivan.

    “Don’t worry, his methods may be brash, but Lupe has yet to disappointment me. It’s his ambition that makes me wonder if his cause is truly the only solution.”


    ***** End of Chapter Two *****
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  11. #11
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    Really well done again! Only one mistake!
    “I know this is a lot for you to take in, so I’ll leave you alone. When you are ready, ask anyone for Ivan and I’m sure someone will show you the way to my room. If you still side with the Order, we’ll find a way to get you out of here without letting our see our exact locations, so think hard.” Without anything more to say, Ivan left Ezekiel to contemplate.
    I think you meant to put "you" there.
    I thought I saw another when you put "brash" thinking you meant "rash" but I looked it up and learned a new word today. Yay me! *clap clap clap clap clap*
    Random Question Time(RQT)! Does some one (ei: Ivan) own Lupe or is he, in a sence, wild? What about Lucy? Why does Ezekiel look like Harry Potter, except older and with longer hair? Does Ezekiel own any Pokemon? Why did he not feel wierd being made to work for a Pokemon, much less one that wanted to kill him? How did he remember "That's Lucy's job"? Was he unconcious for a time? If the fur came off Lupe's shin, why was it blue? Am I getting annoying?
    If you think the world should be a better place for everyone put this in you sig. (started by Mewmie the shiny Mew)
    [IMG]http://i35.*******.com/20rjyvk.jpg[/IMG] thx to Pokemon4eva for the amazing pic of me, the Mew, and Skyler, the Absol and my mate. You're great!!
    I AM OBSESSED WITH HARRY POTTER AND POKEMON AND DEATH NOTE AND PROUD OF IT!!!!

  12. #12
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        Spoiler:

    Answers in spoiler tags and bolded.
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    I guess I skipped that part of the prolouge, I guess I just misunderstood "his researcher," and look here:
    http://*******.com/view.php?pic=2dqszzm&s=3
    I'm not trying to argue, just prove a point.
    If you think the world should be a better place for everyone put this in you sig. (started by Mewmie the shiny Mew)
    [IMG]http://i35.*******.com/20rjyvk.jpg[/IMG] thx to Pokemon4eva for the amazing pic of me, the Mew, and Skyler, the Absol and my mate. You're great!!
    I AM OBSESSED WITH HARRY POTTER AND POKEMON AND DEATH NOTE AND PROUD OF IT!!!!

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    Uh-oh, Gummy messed up on Lucario's shin coloring! *taps Gummy with her useless banstick* :0

    Yes, I know. Your fic brought me out of lurking on this forum as well. *shakes head* The things I do for my friends. But I figured that since PC is down for maintenance, then I could review over here since my night is free.

    Noticed just one mistake that Kris missed.

    Incased in it was what looked like a small patch of blue fur mixed with some blood.
    "Incased" is supposed to be "encased".

    Oh, and this one:

    “Not too well, lord Peign.
    When part of a name, the title is also capitalized. So "Lord Peign" should be here, but if it's just "the lord", then it's lower-cased.

    This next one is probably just a style preference.

    said the geezer rather coldly.
    "geezer" strikes me a sort of slang word, and not one I would see in a story's narration. I would have used "elder", but then again, I used to get smacked by a co-worker for saying "geezer". So, like I said, it might just be preference.

    Glad to see the revelation of Lucy's identity. She doesn't strike me as someone that would kill a person, with what little we saw of her personality. I'm hoping the next chapter, or the fourth, will allow us to see her work with Lupe, since it seems like they have some history.

    And, since I have a thing for guys in glasses, I can't wait to see how Ezekiel (who I'll probably just call Zeke in my reviews because I can't spell Ezekiel quickly to save my life) will help the Rebels. Will his inside knowledge of the Order help the Rebels?

    :P And look, you didn't have to smack me over PM. I'm here when the chapter was released. Can't wait to see chapter three, either here or at PC!

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    Quote Originally Posted by MtsM
    I guess I skipped that part of the prolouge, I guess I just misunderstood "his researcher," and look here:
    http://*******.com/view.php?pic=2dqszzm&s=3
    I'm not trying to argue, just prove a point.
    Okay Mewmie, you win this round!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hanako!
    Uh-oh, Gummy messed up on Lucario's shin coloring! *taps Gummy with her useless banstick* :0

    Yes, I know. Your fic brought me out of lurking on this forum as well. *shakes head* The things I do for my friends. But I figured that since PC is down for maintenance, then I could review over here since my night is free.


    Glad to see the revelation of Lucy's identity. She doesn't strike me as someone that would kill a person, with what little we saw of her personality. I'm hoping the next chapter, or the fourth, will allow us to see her work with Lupe, since it seems like they have some history.

    And, since I have a thing for guys in glasses, I can't wait to see how Ezekiel (who I'll probably just call Zeke in my reviews because I can't spell Ezekiel quickly to save my life) will help the Rebels. Will his inside knowledge of the Order help the Rebels?

    :P And look, you didn't have to smack me over PM. I'm here when the chapter was released. Can't wait to see chapter three, either here or at PC!
    Aww, thank you for reviewing Hanako (that feels cooler to type than Astinus). And you just reminded me, I forgot to credit Kris for the beta.

    I'm glad that you're glad ^^. I'm wondering whether I should keep this personality even when she's on missions. It does provide a bit of comic relief so I guess I might. And the history between the two revealed soon because I can assure you, there are very few characters Lupe is nice to in this fic.

    Zeke does sound better, maybe I'll have one of the characters call him that. I'm still planning on what to do with him besides keeping Lupe informed on the Order's plans.

    And I wasn't going to bombard you with PMs XD. I know that you have a personal life and what kind of friend would I be to interrupt that? (you better be here for chapter three though)
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    Amazingly well done! But In chapter one you mentioned pokemon GODS (plural), but all I count is one, Arceus. Who are the others?
    My BW FC: 5415 4027 8943

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    By Gods I'm referring to the legendaries with the most power (i.e. Arceus, Dialga, Palkia and Giratina). All the other legendaries are like subordinates to these Pokemon but are still revered by the humans.

    PS: Chapter Three sometime this weekend.
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  18. #18
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    Still very intriguing, Glajummy. Good work.

    The idea of humanized Pokemon is terribly difficult to write well, and often makes a story weird and awkward. So far, the awkwardness has been minimal. I'm hoping that will remain the case.
    3DS Code: 2723 9573 9029

        Spoiler:- Whitman's code:

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    Now what a nice surprise we've got here. At first, I was a bit worried (as I so loved the first draft), but the way you've got it works out quite nicely IMO.

    The dynamics of the world as it now is interests me. But I have a question. Supposedly, all humans were wiped out besides the ones in the town, right? And yet the world seems remarkably full of people. Exactly how long ago did the plague take place?

    Anyway, not a big problem. As I said before, how the world now works in interesting. The rebels, and their schism will surely become important later on. I wonder, however. What is the relationship between the two parts? This quote made me think of this:

    “You seem to be catching on, and we’re glad to have you on the team. I’m sure you’ve seen the life style of us rebels, but it’s nothing compared to that of those at the Johto base. Would you rather I transfer you there, to avenge your father and all?”
    On the whole, my friend, a very good fic. Description is the same, if not a shade better, than P:SN. Which is to say very good, of course.

    It's still early, of course, but the plot is already cooking up quite nicely. It's certainly original (for the Pokemon fandom at any rate), and is promising to be very entertaining. Already, the mysterious Order seems to be conducting murders right under the nose of their citizens, who seem none the wiser to it.

    But I have a question. The Sacred Seven are surely not the original seven, so I suppose it just became a tradition of sorts to have seven leaders. But even if they are all killed, surely control could be handed down to their hand picked successors without too much trouble? Something to think about, for sure.

    I apologize for the short review, but rest assured that you have a very good fic on your hands. Be sure to keep this up, okay?

  20. #20
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    Welcome back duncan! For a second, I thought you had given up on me!

    Quote Originally Posted by duncan
    Exactly how long ago did the plague take place?
    Quote Originally Posted by From the Prologue
    The seven original leaders of the religious group were praised and treated like kings for bringing an end to the biological massacre. Civilization has slowly been rebuilding itself around the world, but even decades later, the sacred town remains to be the center of activity. The world seemed to be in long era of peace and tranquility.
    I hope that answers your question. I guess you could say about 60 years ago, but I'm starting to realize that that might not be enough time. I could make it centuries, seeing as my original idea of the Sacred Seven could really fit for any amount of years. All will be clear at around Chapter 5/6 (I plan to have the Rebel/Peign confrontation around there).

    But I have a question. The Sacred Seven are surely not the original seven, so I suppose it just became a tradition of sorts to have seven leaders. But even if they are all killed, surely control could be handed down to their hand picked successors without too much trouble? Something to think about, for sure.
    With the idea that just came to me with your last question, I'm afraid that I cannot answer this or I risk a major spoiler. You just have to wait!

    I don't mind that the review is short, I'm just happy that you reviewed at all. Unfortunately, I've been sick since Saturday so I haven't gotten much writing done. I'm feeling a bit better today but I probably won't actually do any significant writing until tomorrow.
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  21. #21
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    Here's the next chapter guys!


    Chapter Three: Infiltration



    The commotion around the Temple of Arceus had only recently died down. Light from the houses surrounding the historical monument went out one by one as the night dragged on, but there were still a few heads peeking through glassy windows. The harsh weather had calmed down into a brisk wind, and the constant sound of rain’s freefall onto the ground and the lightning bolts battling in the heavens was replaced by the calls of a lonely Noctowl. Police officers had turned off their sirens and were departing from the scene of the crime, the majority of them not even heading back to the station. The only thing that seemed to remain static the entire night was the full moon bathing the landscape in its magnificent light. It was relatively bright that night; so much in fact that there was no need for street lights. Yes, the perfect night to pull a heist.

    The police department, and the location of Ezekiel’s CD, was located only a few blocks away from the temple. It was one of the many black, tower-like buildings that jutted from the ground around Arcanum. The radio tower atop it scraped the heavens, and the very tip had a red light that flashed every few seconds. This seemingly minuscule detail was what allowed Lupe and Lucy to identify the building as opposed to the ones that looked exactly like it. Lucy’s small frame was shivering in the cold breeze, but Lupe stood almost statue-like, eyeing his target. The duo looked on from the roof of a restaurant that, ironically, fashioned a sign stating: There’s no one on top of us!

    “<Are you finished yet?>” Lucy asked with her arms crossed. What she was referring to was the Lucarian ability to sense the aura of all living things. It usually took seconds for them to identify auras, but at such a great distance, Lupe was having some trouble. After about a minute or so, he took a deep breath and turned to Lucy.

    “<The building is pretty empty, except for a few Pokemon patrolling the basement. Unfortunately, that’s where they’re keeping the CD.>”

    “<Like you care? I know you’ve been itching for a good fight!>” Lucy exclaimed.

    Lupe smirked at the comment and began to move toward the edge of the roof. “<Didn’t Ivan send you along to keep us out of trouble?>”

    Lucy responded with a grin of her own and closely followed her partner. “<Seriously, Lupe, I know you better than that.>”

    “<Oh yes you do,>” he replied, bending over and looking downward to see how long the jump was. Without a second thought, he gracefully leapt off of the ledge and landed onto a green dumpster in a dark alleyway. Unfortunately, his landing caused the metal dumpster to release a deep, rumbling sound that easily traveled across the silent neighborhood.

    “<Way to go, genius,>” called Lucy from above with a hint of sarcasm. Unlike her partner, she chose to land on an old couch that someone had decided to dispose of.

    Suddenly, voices could be heard behind the door leading inside the restaurant and they were getting louder. Lupe and Lucy simply looked at the door, trying not to make any noise. To their surprise, however, the knob turned and out walked three beings. The tallest and most noticeable was a pale-skinned, and quite chubby, human. His shirt was covered in blood— albeit it wasn’t his— and in his right hand he held a butcher’s knife. At both his sides were two Pokemon that looked like hellhounds. Bones curved down their spines and stationed atop their heads were two very sharp horns. Both Houndoom immediately spotted the intruders and signaled their master.

    “You two, get down now!” he ordered, first pointing at Lupe and Lucy then at the ground in front of him. The two listened without objection, hoping to get out of the predicament with minimal damage. With them standing in better lighting, the butcher finally began to inspect the culprits. His eyes quickly scanned over Lucy, but he spent a great deal of time staring at Lupe’s shin— more specifically, the missing patch of fur.

    “You...” he began, pointing at the Lucario before continuing, “I heard about you on the radio. The police are looking for you!”

    A shudder ran down Lupe’s spine, and for a second, he considered running away and aborting the mission. Lucy shot Lupe a questioning look, as she too was confused on what to do next. Taking advantage of their shock and confusion, the butcher tapped his two Houndoom and pointed at rebels.

    Howling like mad beasts, each Houndoom charged for a separate Pokemon with murder in their eyes. The one heading for Lupe jumped for its prey, but the Lucario acted quickly and took a few steps back, causing his opponent to miss by mere inches. Without hesitation, Lupe gave an upward kick, hitting the Houndoom in the chin and sending it back toward its owner.

    “<That all you got?>” he asked slyly.

    “<Uh, a little help here!>” shouted Lucy from a few feet away. She seemed to be struggling with her opponent as the Houndoom advanced with strong bites, and Lucy barely dodging each one. Realizing that they weren’t getting anywhere, the Houndoom lowered its head and charged at the Weavile with its horns. Too frantic and worn out to dodge at such close range, Lucy instinctively thrust her hands up and to her amazement, caught the horns in her claws. The Houndoom continuously chomped at Lucy’s face, but she was able to push it back at the last minute every time. He could see the Lucario approaching from the corner of his eye and tried a new tactic. Ceasing his constant jabs at Lucy’s face, he took a deep breathe, followed by a release of purple gas from his mouth. Lupe, who hadn’t reached the Houndoom yet, was able to leap away and escape the smog, but Lucy wasn’t so lucky. Catching the full force of the blast, she had no choice but to release her opponent and back away with a violent cough.

    “<Lucy, are you—.>” Lupe was unable to finish his question as a set of teeth from the other Houndoom clamped hard on his shoulder. He let out a howling cry of his own as the fangs of the Houndoom became incased in a raging flame, burning through his fur and skin. Unable to bear the pain any longer, Lupe forcibly pulled himself away and rejoined Lucy, leaving some fur behind in the hellhound’s jaws. As Lupe put pressure on the deep, bloody gash, he looked over to Lucy, who was still coughing and now had watery, red eyes.

    “This is what happens when you mess with the Order!” cried the human, his fist high in the air. There was a distinct passion in his words, as if he was stating something that was absolute truth.

    The simple mention of the Order triggered a hatred within the core of Lupe’s soul, and the Lucario glared at his enemies with a killer’s intent. Removing his hand from the wound, he cupped them together at his side, and a blue orb began to form between them. Lucy looked doubtfully at the well-known attack and used the remainder of her energy reserves to move away. It grew to about this size of a melon before Lupe decided to send it hurtling at the two dogs. It exploded on contact, and the Houndoom cried out in painful whimpers through the gray smoke before finally silencing.

    “<Come on!>” Lupe shouted to Lucy before running out of the alley. Neither was in any shape to run, let alone complete the mission, but both ignored their pain and ran down the empty street. By the time the smoke cleared, they were already hiding behind the police station in its shadow.

    “<Lupe, we have to go back. There’s no way we can do anything in this shape!>” Lucy suggested before falling to her knees from exhaustion and coughing. That last cough actually managed to produce a little blood.

    She’s poisoned, Lupe immediately realized.

    “<Lucy, we might not get another chance like this. I understand if you want to go back, but I must get that CD!>”

    Lucy coughed a few more times before responding. “<Lupe, look at yourself. Your shoulder is bleeding like crazy! If any of it gets on the floor, they’ll have even more of your DNA.>”

    Lupe gave a forced chuckle at the idea of aborting when he was so close and began focusing on the ground. His luck seemed to be coming back as he found a discarded rag on the ground and quickly tied it firmly around his injury.

    “<I’ve got about fifteen minutes until this thing is completely soaked, so I better go now!>”

    “<Lupe—,>” and unexpected cough interrupted the Weavile, and by the time she recovered, her companion had already ran deeper into the shadows.


    **********


    Lupe kept his eyes on the ground as he ran, searching for some way to get into the building. Even though the lobby was empty— and Lupe was sure of it at this close range— it would take way too long and be too risky for him to walk around the building. Lupe had gone on enough missions in this area of the city to know the there were drains behind these buildings that lead directly to their basements. As his feet stepped onto one, it made a loud clang and he came to an abrupt halt.

    Reaching down, he gripped the metal bar tightly and pulled with all his might. Alas, he had underestimated the severity of his wound and nearly screamed out in agony as he only made things worse. Nothing was going as planned and if a simple mission like this couldn’t be completed, there was no way he could accomplish what was to come soon after. Using his good arm, he continuously punched down hard on the metal until the screws eventually came out, and he plummeted into the murky waters below. Any and all Pokemon around at that moment scurried away before Lupe could even get to his feet.

    There was an extremely strong stench in the air down there and Lupe was nearly brought to tears. He sank into the brownish-green water to about his knees and he felt as if walking through an ocean of mud. He had gone a bit lower than he expected; all the way into the sewers below the building, but still fairly close to his destination. The large, rusted steel pipes resembled a maze and judging by his luck so far, the Lucario better had get out of there and fast. Because of the thick, vile liquid, no matter how much energy he put in to moving, Lupe was forced to advance at a constant speed. It took him nearly five minutes to reach a nearby ladder.

    “<I’ve already come this far,>” Lupe murmured, grimacing at the filthy ladder. Sighing at the pain he knew was going to come, he gripped the bars tightly and hoisted himself up. Expectantly, waves of pain shot across his bad arm and at one point, he almost released his grip, happy to soak in that despicable liquid rather than experience such pain. But luckily, he strived on, and managed to reach a small door at the top of the ladder.

    “<Uh oh,>” he said to himself, realizing the dilemma he was faced with. The door required a lever to be pulled for it to open, but his hands were occupied at the moment. As he thought about how he could get around this predicament, a small splash could be heard in the distance.

    He mind began racing with various thoughts. Did they find me? Was it just a wandering Pokemon? Was it my imagination? Can I even handle another battle? For a second, he even doubted not heeding Lucy’s warning. Of course, all those questions didn’t matter as the being turned the same corner as Lupe and stepped into the light.

    “<I was worried,>” said Lucy as she tried to muster up a smile. Even from Lupe’s position he could see that she was still fighting the poison that had entered her body from the last fight. He didn’t know whether to be happy that she was a here or furious.

    “<Lucy, you have to go back. In that condition, you’ll only end up slowing us down.>”

    “<You seem to be doing perfectly on your own,>” she replied, referring to the fact that Lupe still hadn’t figured out a way to push the lever without falling to the water. With a groan he moved to the edge of the ladder, giving Lucy’s petite body just enough room to climb up. Even in her poisoned state, the Weavile hastily darted up the ladder. With a nod from her partner, she pushed the lever and the circular door above them automatically slid back into the wall.

    As expected, the duo climbed out of the hole only to end up in the basement floor of the police department. Although the surface area was about the size of the Rebel base’s main hall, the similarities between the two ended there. Unlike the base, the entire structure, although underground, was constructed of a fine, metal alloyed. The lights on the ceiling were placed at great distances from one another, but thanks to this metallic material, still made the entire place shine in an almost divine luminosity. The halls gave an illusion of continuing on for miles, making the building look much bigger than it actually was. Doors lined the both sides of the hallway, but thanks to Lupe’s aura-sensing ability, could tell that the majority of them were empty. This was believable, as the sun wasn’t due to rise in a few hours.

    “<Lupe, look, your shoulder,>” Lucy suddenly pointed out. The Lucario curiously glanced at the rag covering his shirt was astounded to see that the bleeding had stopped. One less problem for them to worry about.

    “<Too bad it still hurts. Now that luck is finally on our side, let’s get moving,>” he suggested, walking toward the shortest corner.

    “<How do you know it’s this way?>” Lucy questioned as they walked. She struggled to say the entire thing in one go without coughing.

    “<Truth be told, the only thing I know for a fact is that the lab is on the basement floor. However, I do sense a lot of auras in this direction, mostly humans,>” he explained. Although he’d never admit it, it was enjoyable to have someone to go on missions with. It was really the only time he was able to show off his skills.

    “<So in other words, there’s a good chance we might be walking right into a trap?>” Of course, there were times when Lupe preferred to work alone.


    **********


    Although he thought he had grown used to it, the eerie silence of the halls was beginning to get on Lupe’s nerves. The only sounds made were that of the two Pokemon’s feet scraping across the glistening metal and an occasional wheeze from Lucy, who deserved a medal for simply staying conscious that long after taking a smog at point-blank range. The hypnotic rhythm of their steps put Lupe in a daze, causing him to nearly walk past their destination. After noticing the large collection of auras behind a large, rusted door—the only of its kind in the hall— the Lucario abruptly came to a stop and signaled Lucy to do the same.

    “<Five humans, one Pokemon,>” he said absentmindedly. “<Can you handle a small brawl?>”

    “<What’s with you and fighting?>” Lucy whispered back while pointing upward. Above them was a vent that, in all likelihood, led into the lab. “<Give me a lift and I’ll take them out silently.>”

    Lupe looked back and forth between the vent and his partner. If he agreed to her plan it meant he’d take absolutely no part in the main objective. Of course, neither of them was in any shape for a fight. He finally came to the conclusion that it’d be best for the mission if they were unnoticed.

    “<Don’t screw this up,>” Lupe whispered with a scowl. After an agreeing smile from Lucy he cupped his paws at his waistline and held them in place. As Lucy cautiously positioned her small feet in her partner’s hands, he slowly lifted her up until she could touch the ceiling. Getting right to work she twisted out all four screw and handed the vent-hatch to Lupe, who was forced to hold it in his teeth.

    “<Dis ting tase horri’le and ish hea’y. Hurr’ up!>” he mumbled. Refraining from bursting out in laughter, Lucy quickly hopped into the hole, freeing Lupe’s hands.

    The stealthy Weavile had never traveled through a filthier vent in her previous adventures. Sure, she navigated in some dirty ones, but this particular one hit her with a one-two punch of stench and dustiness. Lucky for her, she knew exactly which tunnel led to the designated room and didn’t waste time bumping into dead ends. As she approached the second vent-hatch, she began to hear voices echo against the dusty, gray walls of the tunnel.

    “Well? Did you get the stream from the street cameras yet?” questioned an annoyed, masculine voice.

    “Y-yes, sir, it just came in. Let me play in for you.”

    Careful not to scratch against the metal, Lucy positioned herself over the hatch and got a good look at the room. It wasn’t nearly as big as one would think from looking outside, but that was probably due to the various machines taking up a lot of space. Just as Lupe had said, the room contained five humans, all scurrying around in lab coats. She was unable to see the Pokemon, most likely because it was out of her field of view. Two humans walked up to a large screen on the wall, one of them wearing a black suit under his coat. The other pressed a green button to his left and the entire screen came to life at once. From what Lucy could see, they were looking at a video of a street corner. Nothing special seemed to be happening until two figures suddenly dashed across the screen.

    “Rewind that,” ordered the suited man.

    “Y-yes, sir.” Another button was pushed repeatedly until the two figures appeared frozen in the middle of the screen. To Lucy’s surprise and terror, she discovered that they were looking at a video of her and Lupe running toward this very building.

    “Gotcha,” said the suited man with a smirk. “You see that?” he asked, pointing at Lupe’s shin, “This is the Lucario we’re looking for, and it seems he’s coming right to us. How long ago was this video taken?”

    “Approximately twenty-five minutes ago, sir.”

    “Hmmm... if he knows where he’s going, than he should already be well into our building, if not approaching this very room.”

    “Sh-should we be worried, sir?”

    “Not while we have our secret weapon here.”

    “<Crap,>” Lucy cursed, forgetting that she was supposed to remain unnoticed. The others had obviously heard her as they began looking all over the room for the voice’s source. In a panic, Lucy tried to turn around and make a run for it, but had accidentally clawed at one of the screws, causing the hatch to falter and eventually fall under her feet. Without warning, she fell into the room and crashed onto the back of an unsuspecting scientist. However, knowing she was well into enemy territory, the Weavile ignored the pain from both the fall and the poison circulating throughout her body and scurried back and forth across the room.

    “<Help!>”


    *********


    Lupe waited impatiently outside for any word from his partner. His ear had been pressed firmly against the wall, but all he could hear was very faint mumbles. Therefore, he wasn’t prepared for the loud thud followed by screams of terror.

    “<Damnit, Lucy!>” he shouted, running over to the door. With a series of strong kicks, he was able to force the metal doors off their hinges. The room he entered was in utter chaos. A couple of scientists were trying— and horribly failing— to catch a very frenzied Lucy. A few others were simply running in circles, only to crash into the monstrous machines that made the room feel so crowded. Only one human seemed to be keeping his cool and he was glaring at Lupe. The human reached for a device at his waist and in reaction, Lupe grabbed the closest human and held him against his body.

    “Release him!” ordered the suited man as veins became visible in his bald head. He was pointing a gun at Lupe, but with the human hostage, couldn’t get a clear shot at the Pokemon. All other motion had ceased— except for the hostage begging for mercy— and Lupe took that moment of silence to think the situation through. He spotted Lucy standing over an unconscious human with claw marks in his coat. Not too far from her position was a long table with a lone CD on top of it. There was no indication if that was what they had come for, but it was their best bet.

    “<Give me that disk,>” said Lupe with an order of his own, hoping that the human had spent enough time working with Pokemon that he could understand the language. Luckily, the human gave a slight nod and backed up toward the table, never moving his eyes or the gun away from Lupe’s direction.

    “<No, wait!>” Lupe suddenly said, making the human stop dead in his tracks. “<Let the Weavile get the disk. When she’s by my side, I’ll release this human and we’ll make our way out of here.>”

    “Why should I trust you?”

    “<Because his life is in your hands,>” Lupe answered, moving his arm up to the man’s neck. With little remorse, he tightened his grip, slowly chocking the hostage. Lupe had no intention in killing the man, but it was a necessity that he got that disk.

    “H-help,” said the victimized scientist. Simply by the sound of his raspy voice, it was obvious he couldn’t survive much longer without oxygen.

    “Fine,” agreed the bald man, followed by a few mumbled curse words, and Lupe loosened his hold. Lucy looked at Lupe suspiciously and hastened over to the table. Too short to see clearly across the entire table, Lucy just swiped her hands across the surface until she hit the circular disk. With a childish squeal she hurried over to Lupe’s side. The duo— trio if you count the hostage— slowly backed out of the room. If he wasn’t part of the rebel force, Lupe would have thanked the Gods that the department happened to be pretty much empty on that particular night.

    “<Lower your weapon!>” Lupe demanded with a smirk. He knew he had complete control over the situation

    “You think I won’t shoot!?” screamed the bald man, moving his finger ever closer to the trigger.

    “Please, no!” pleaded the hostage as tears began to stream down his eyes.

    Reluctantly, the human aimed his gun toward the ground, but with the faintest of smirks. Ignoring the grin, Lupe pushed the human back into the room and with Lucy and the CD at his side, made a run for it.

    With the hostage safe from danger, the bald officer rushed out of the room and shouted, “Okay, now!”

    As Lupe and Lucy approached the corner of the hall, they began to see something weird happening to the wall. A sudden chill hit the Pokemon, followed by some purple matter emerging from the walls. Unhindered by the solid metal it was effortlessly passing through, the being materialized completely out of the wall, showing its full figure to the escapees. Standing at approximately five feet, the Gengar was able to easily stare down his opponents with his trademark: blood-red eyes.

    Lupe suddenly realized the mistake he had made before. When he checked the room for auras, there was obviously a Pokemon there, but when he burst in, the only Pokemon visible was Lucy. The only question that remained was if two exhausted and injured Pokemon could defeat this new opposition before anyone else showed up.

    “<Lupe, I know you might think otherwise but there’s no way we can beat this guy,>” Lucy whispered.

    “<Actually, I agree with you, but mainly because most of my moves would have no effect on him. I suspect you have a plan?>”

    “<Yep,>” she simply answered, resuming her dash for the exit. Putting all his trust in the anxious Weavile, Lupe followed in suit, running straight for the enemy. The Gengar looked rather surprised that his two foes were running right at him and cupped his hands in a very familiar fashion. As he started to form his shadow ball attack, Lucy sped up and upon reaching mere yards of her target, jumped into the air. Despite the poison ravaging her body, she inhaled a large amount of oxygen and in her exhale, shot icy shards from her mouth. Upon contact with the unsuspecting Gengar— mainly the sinister blob forming between his hands— the shards exploded and filled the hall with smoke and small icicles.

    “<Nice job!>” congratulated Lupe, something he rarely ever did. The two entered the cloud of debris, stepping over the temporarily downed Gengar and toward that dreaded sewer.

    Back in front of the lab room, the bald man could only stare at the mess the two rebels had made. He played out the situation many times in his head and if anything like this was to happen, he was sure that either he or Gengar could stop it. Of course, he had never anticipated the Weavile tagging along, but by her faulty stealth, concluded she wouldn’t even matter. Now only one thing was certain: Peign would not be pleased.


    **********


    Ignoring their injuries and fatigue, the two Pokemon ran as fast as their battered bodies would allow. They went much farther in the sewer tunnels than before, making sure not only to emerge far from the police department, but also to hide their smell from any Houndoom or Mightyena. They departed from the sewer tunnels somewhere in the town that sat in the shadow of Arcanum, but they knew that they still weren’t in the clear. About ten minutes into their onward trek to the rebel base, Lucy’s poison-filled body began to take its toll to the point where she could barely keep up.

    “<I told you to go back,>” Lupe said, although he knew the mission would be near impossible if it hadn’t been for her.

    “<Sh-shut up and give me a hand here,>” Lucy mumbled while on her knees.

    “<I’m surprised you even lasted this long, so I guess help out. Hop on.>” Lupe held out his good arm toward the Weavile, who gave him a questioning stare.

    “<You’re going to carry me?>” she asked.

    “<What does it look like? I owe you that much.>”

    “<I can’t wait for the others to see this,>” she said with a smile before climbing up his arm and swinging around onto his back.

    “<I’ll throw you off my back and drag you into the base before I let anyone see us like this.>”

    “<Heh, didn’t take long for the old Lupe to come back.>”

    The casual chatter continued throughout the night as they made their way home and for the first time in a long time, Lupe was happy to have a partner.


    ***** End of Chapter Three *****

    Beta'd by diamondpearl87.
    Last edited by Glajummy; 9th July 2008 at 2:05 PM.
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  22. #22
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    Interesting, to say the least. I really do like how this one went, as nothing really seemed out of place.

    “<Are you finished yet?>” Lucy asked with her arms wrapped around her body. What she was referring to was the Lucarian ability to sense the aura of all living things. It usually took seconds for them to identify auras, but at such a great distance, Lupe was having some trouble. After about a minute or so, he took a deep breath and turned to Lucy.

    “<The building is pretty empty, except for a few Pokemon patrolling the basement. Unfortunately, that’s where they’re keeping the CD.>”

    “<Like you care? I know you’ve been itching for a good fight!>” Lucy exclaimed, ignoring the cold.
    The cold? I didn't think a Weavile would mind the cold all that much...

    “<Uh, a little help here!>” shouted Lucy from a few feet away. She seemed to be struggling with her opponent as the Houndoom advanced with strong bites, and Lucy barely dodging each one. Realizing that they weren’t getting anywhere, the Houndoom lowered its head and charged at the Weavile with its horns. Too frantic and worn out to dodge at such close range, Lucy instinctively thrust her hands up and to her amazement, caught the horns in her claws. The Houndoom continuously chomped at Lucy’s face, but she was able to push it back at the last minute every time. He could see the Lucario approaching from the corner of his eye and tried a new tactic. Ceasing his constant jabs at Lucy’s face, he took a deep breathe, followed by a release of purple gas from his mouth. Lupe, who hadn’t reached the Houndoom yet, was able to leap away and escape the smog, but Lucy wasn’t so lucky. Catching the full force of the blast, she had no choice but to release her opponent and back away with a violent cough.
    Couple of things here. For one, nice action, here. However, it would have looked considerably better, IMO, if the paragraph was shorter. There was plenty of opportunity to split it, here, as well. Consider cutting down some of these larger paragraphs in the future, okay?

    Lastly, something that would help the flow would be not to use their names all the time. Like here:

    Ceasing his constant jabs at the Weavile's face, he took a deep breath, followed by a release of purple gas from his mouth. Lupe, who hadn’t reached the Houndoom yet, was able to leap away and escape the smog, but Lucy wasn’t so lucky. Catching the full force of the blast, she had no choice but to release her opponent and back away with a violent cough.
    Instead of always saying their names, use that opportunity to describe them a bit farther. Just a helpful tip.

    “<Truth be told, the only thing I know for a fact is that the lab is on the basement floor. However, I do sense a lot of auras in this direction, mostly humans,>” he explained. Although he’d never admit it, it was enjoyable to have someone to go on missions with. It was really the only time he was able to show off his skills.

    “<So in other words, there’s a good chance we might be walking right into a trap?>” Of course, there were times when Lupe preferred to work alone.
    Heh, loved this part.

    “<Crap,>” Lucy cursed, forgetting that she was supposed to remain unnoticed. The others had obviously heard her as they began looking all over the room for the voice’s source. In a panic, Lucy tried to turn around and make a run for it, but had accidentally clawed at one of the screws, causing the hatch to falter and eventually fall under her feet. Without warning, she fell into the room and crashed onto the back of an unsuspecting scientist. However, knowing she was well into enemy territory, the Weavile ignored the pain from both the fall and the poison circulating throughout her body and scurried back and forth across the room.
    This made me think that Lucy isn't quite as skilled as she let on. And she ran around the room? Erm...yeah...not such a brilliant move. XD

    The two entered the cloud of debris, stepping over the temporarily downed Gengar and toward the dreaded sewer.
    “<You’re going to carry me?>” she asked.

    “<What does it look like? I owe you that much.>”

    “<I can’t wait for the others to see this,>” she said with a smile before climbing up his arm and swinging around onto his back.

    “<I’ll throw you off my back and drag you into the base before I let anyone see us like this.>”

    “<Heh, didn’t take long for the old Lupe to come back.>”
    Yeah, another funny Lupe/Lucy moment.

    Certainly a good chapter, no doubt. However...one thing that you can work on is your description. Not to say that it isn't okay right now, but that's just it. While well above average, I feel that if it's stepped up, then this fic has the potential to become of the best fics on SPPf. Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about:

    “Fine,” agreed the bald man, followed by a few mumbled curse words, and Lupe loosened his hold. Lucy looked at Lupe suspiciously and hastened over to the table. Too short to see clearly across the entire table, Lucy just swiped her hands across the surface until she hit the circular disk. With a childish squeal she hurried over to Lupe’s side. The duo— trio if you count the hostage— slowly backed out of the room.
    That's fine enough, of course. But...if you improved emotion, as well as description, it could be something like this:

    The situation was tense, and the scientist was steadily turning blue from lack of oxygen. The vein in the bald man's temple furious, he slightly inclined his head.

    “Fine,”

    Lupe loosened his hold and shot a look at Lucy. The Weavile looked at Lupe suspiciously and hastened over to the table. Too short to see clearly across the entire table, she swiped her hands across the surface until she hit the circular disk. With a childish squeal she hurried over to Lupe’s side.

    Slowly Lupe backed away toward the door, keeping a firm grip on the hostage, Lucy at his side.
    Which, of course, isn't a very impressive example, but at least you see what I mean? Believe me when I say that this has the potential to be more than just a very good fic. Keep working at it, and this fic will be gold in no time. Great job.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by duncan
    The cold? I didn't think a Weavile would mind the cold all that much...
    Yeah, I got this comment at PC too. XD I wasn't thinking straight, sorry!

    Couple of things here. For one, nice action, here. However, it would have looked considerably better, IMO, if the paragraph was shorter. There was plenty of opportunity to split it, here, as well. Consider cutting down some of these larger paragraphs in the future, okay?

    Lastly, something that would help the flow would be not to use their names all the time. Like here:
    I'll be sure to remember that when writing my next chapter. The reason I don't cut up the paragraphs is that I hate it when fics look like a collection of two-lined paragraphs.
    This made me think that Lucy isn't quite as skilled as she let on. And she ran around the room? Erm...yeah...not such a brilliant move. XD
    Hey, give her a break, she was poisoned. XD

    Certainly a good chapter, no doubt. However...one thing that you can work on is your description. Not to say that it isn't okay right now, but that's just it. While well above average, I feel that if it's stepped up, then this fic has the potential to become of the best fics on SPPf. Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about:
    One of the best? Don't get my hopes up. I'm a little skeptical about changing my method of description again because it's been working so well. But I guess you guys are just getting tired of the same old thing.

    Which, of course, isn't a very impressive example, but at least you see what I mean? Believe me when I say that this has the potential to be more than just a very good fic. Keep working at it, and this fic will be gold in no time. Great job.
    There you go again, filling my head with hot air. thanks for all the advice and as usual, I'll try my best to utilize it.
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  24. #24
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    Very nice, I didn't see any mistakes (except Lucy and the clod ). But then again I didn't even notice the length of the paragraphs. The only thing was that I didn't... I can't describe it but, Ezekiel wasn't there. Really gd though. I can't help but fill you with hot air.
    If you think the world should be a better place for everyone put this in you sig. (started by Mewmie the shiny Mew)
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  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mewmie the shiny Mew View Post
    Very nice, I didn't see any mistakes (except Lucy and the clod ). But then again I didn't even notice the length of the paragraphs. The only thing was that I didn't... I can't describe it but, Ezekiel wasn't there. Really gd though. I can't help but fill you with hot air.
    The length of the paragraphs isn't really a mistake, it's just the way I write. Everyone has their own styles. And yeah, I was actually hoping someone WOULDN'T mention Ezekiel. I was afraid that I had brought up the wrong idea with the first two chapters but Ezekiel is only one of the main characters. The story revolves around Lupe, mainly. But I do have big plans for Ezekiel and one or two more mains in the next couple of chapters.
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