Ugh. I know this took, like, half a summer. But this challenge here is always the hardest to come up with, so maybe I'll go more quickly with the challenges I actually had ideas on.
: Last episode of Poke Drama Island: Cook and I set to work to punk the campers in another one of our film-related freakouts. But me and Cook’s schemes weren’t the only ones cooking, as Glenna hatched a plan to get Alex out of Byakuran’s deadly grasp. It seemed that wasn’t the only fraternizing she’s been doing, when a suspicious letter of her hand showed up on Cook’s person. Things got tense between us, let me tell you. Luckily, Sakura decided to do the honourable thing, and admit to forging the whole thing. Not ready to fall prey to Sakura’s meddling, Cook patched things up. Glenna and Kami worked together nicely to pull off busting Alex out of the nasty position of being Byakuran’s plaything, and they actually managed to do it without the ever-alert schemer from suspecting a thing. …And then Alex went and got eliminated anyway. But you can bet Byakuran won’t be too pleased about this fowl setting his plans afoul. What will his retaliation be for these sly sisters? How about we dig up an answer here in Poke Drama Island!!! *holds up shovels*
: *is in the mess hall slurping expired cream with flies buzzing around it*
: *sits to an unappetizing, undercooked meal* …Ahh, the top seven; that magically lousy spot where you’ve endured enough bad times to feel down, but aren’t close enough to winning to feel good. Between the soul-crushingly pathetic camp conditions and the food you’d think your stomach would automatically reject, your breaking point is inevitably upon being reached.
: Come on, Galen, it isn’t that bad.
: Why, because you’ve got your endeared host to ogle?
: *shuts up*
: Maybe Sakura’s not completely off. The sixth to last challenge is usually the last one before Sprites ups the intensity on these challenges. After this, we’ll be facing nightmarish objectives which softies like Kami here have no hope of surviving.
: *looks up nervous as one of the flies lands on her nose*
Confessionals: : Seventeen challenges staying here, and everyone still thinks I’m nothing but an adorable bundle of fluff. If I can stay off the radar, I think I’ve got a pretty good chance of winning this thing without a lot of effort. …Well, unless Byakuran decides to get even for costing him a major advantage. Or if I give in to the mind-numbing boredom of not having Alex around anymore. *sighs* That guy had better sadistic entertainment value than an electronic mouse. *pins a rat in the room to the wall suspended by an impaled neck vein*
: Well, well, well, final seven. One more episode, and we’ll be down to half a dozen!
: *is picking sesame seeds out of his bagel, looking unfazed*
: Whine all you want about the breakfast this time. If I’m gonna be sticking around, I’m getting a half-vacation to bake my cinnamon buns.
: How ‘bout we step outside after you’re finished your eating, and I can shoot today’s challenge past y’all?
: …Or before. *overturns the bowl and spills out completely solidified cream*
: *comes outside with some shovels* These, campers, will be your implements of finding success today. This challenge is a treasure hunt! I’ve got six plates buried around the island in multiple pieces; three are bronze, two are silver. One plate is a gold plate which is a token for a very special choice victory meal for whoever finds and assembles its fragments. Now, I was thinking of dropping the penalty this time around, but partially to convince Cook to make the special meal, and partially to make up for flipping out about that forged letter, I’ve been forced to keep tradition, and make the one camper who fails to find and assemble a full plate to clean the communal washrooms.
: Dan'na, why not have an intern clean the facilities?
: Because you massacred ‘em.
: *looks awkward*
: Better get digging, you guys. I’m off to give myself some good ol’ foot-soaking time.
: *gets a dreamy look*
Confessionals: : Nice to know I’m down by one on the competition on account of pruny pedial-treatment fantasies.
: *comes to a spot of land* So, I guess I should just start digging anywhere? *begins to dig, when he strikes something, and looks down, seeing a glint of gold* Hello! It looks like my luck’s with me here. *digs up the piece of the gold plate* I just might be able to sweep my way to the top this time. *goes off to do more digging*
Confessionals: : What are my chances at winning? I think they’re looking good. Just as long as I can keep my jerk act from slipping again. I think if I’m going to win this, I’ll definitely have to keep an eye out for Rob. That guy’s getting surprisingly hard to say “no” to, and I really can’t afford to give anyone another “yes”.
: Why did the challenge have to be operating a shovel? *tries to dig, but can only plant the shovel into the ground with her forepaws* Ugh. *climbs onto the shovel’s end, and starts jumping, but the shovel breaks* Nooo!!! Now I’ll have to stick my paws in the dirt! Cook had better be able to get his hands on gourmet dove gizzards for this prize! *reluctantly sticks claw into the dirt* Make that pheasant!!
: *flutters down next to Kami and starts pecking at seeds on the ground*
: It won’t squeal like Alex, but it’ll do in this state. *pounces on the bird and mangles it, brutally ripping its feathers out one by one, snapping its beak and its toes*
: *steps in, bearing a video camera and a malicious grin* Yoiichinichiwo, misu.
: *looks at Byakuran, completely frozen*
: These starlings sure do have a passion for sesame seeds. *holds up a seedless bagel* It is almost as vehement as your passion in dismantling things thoroughly. Just like Alex’s control chip shortly before he left.
: What are you talking about? I really don’t know what you’re getting a-
: *clamps paw down hard on Kami’s tail and moves in close to her* It is to my understanding that you live to toy with innocents. But you must know that I am not one who is to be toyed with. *tightens grip of claws* Now, you could make things far easier for yourself. Surrender the plate fragments you find to me, and we can put your meddling behind us. Or maybe you want the degree of your destructive art showcased to the entire island. *holds up video camera* I always prefer choice. *walks off*
Confessionals: I had a feeling he’d decide to make things tough. It really is less fun when they can see you coming. I’d put that gadget geek in place with a good lash between the ears, but knowing that I couldn’t take him down with an avatar with a body made of steel, I think I’m down by a couple of options.
: Now… To find someone to seduce into doing the work for me…
*an envelope materializes in front of Glenna*
: What the? *opens it*
Confessionals: : My projects in manipulating the natural movement of matter have been proving ever successful. With the money my victory in the game provides, I shall inevitably make a breakthrough.
Note: Dearest ojōsan,
I would rather not have things go unpleasantly between us, but I will have no choice should you attempt to resist. You are to deliver every plate fragment you find to me, left outside my door. Any actions to the contrary, and you will presently resemble the wretched state of the bird whose photograph I have enclosed.
My warning has been given.
Confessionals: : Guess he’s thrown all subtlety out the window and made a full-blown jump to the dark side. My looks are a potent weapon, and I don’t know how I’ll make it through if he cuts me off on that department. And I’ll have a major setback if I can’t get myself out of bathroom-cleaning duties. It’s been hard enough keeping up my appearance on this pestilence-ridden rock. This is a tight spot.
: *digs up another gold plate piece from under a minesweeper mine* Yes! I’m striking it rich!
: Yo, Galen.
: You’re doing pretty good there. You think we can be a team and split our finds?
Confessionals: : This is exactly why I need to stop leaking favours. I won’t be able to handle it if I end up getting exploited because Rob figures out I’m actually nice, or, heaven forbid, Byakuran does. That guy pretends to be a gentleman, but I know all the while he’s just scanning for soft points, then stabbing away. And don’t even get me started on Glenna. Charming weak-willed men into giving her favours is basically all she’s been doing. And Kami! If anyone falls for adorable begging, she can get whatever she wants. At this point I had to make it obvious that I’m not giving any free sympathy.
: Hey, maybe I can tip you off. You see that mine there?
: *looks over to a mine*
: Turn to your left on that thing and take thirty paces, and you’ve got yourself a goldmine.
: Thanks, Galen, you @#%$ing rock! *goes to the mine and starts walking*
: *starts digging nearby* ………Three… Two… One…
*the bear’s roar is heard*
: Heh heh, sorry man.
Confessionals: : *is covered with scratches* My chances of winning? I’ve totally got this @#%$ in the bag here! With my film star chiseled features and magnetic charm, I’ve practically won already! …Though if I’m going to put my winning chances from 99.9% to 100, I might want to start looking for a steady alliance at this point…
: *comes up to Sakura* Hey, Sakura. How are things?
: *is fiddling with the dirt, not looking pleased* Kind of lousy. I got put on this beautiful site of nature, and what am I told to do? Go dig it up! And if I ever find a plant I need to dig under, I have to make sure it’s re-planted right. All the other campers just don’t even care. Look at this huge hole Lacey made! And right by this poor nettle! I still can’t get out the spikes from the thistle I had to re-plant!
: Well, Sakura, two heads are better than one. I figure you would know that.
: Sometimes I wonder. *looks up at impatient-looking conscience*
: I bet if we put my digging together with your hole filling, we could each get ourselves a ticket out of John-polishing before the day’s done. How do you like the sounds of that?
: You and me work together? Well… It would be nice to get out of the bottom. Why not?
: So we’ve got a deal.
Confessionals: : Not much in the useful department, that Sakura, but she was basically my best chance. Totally open for convincing. Y’know, really, Sakura should start swooning over me. I’m obviously a hotter piece of @$#@ than Sprites.
: *is picking at the ground with her claws, looking quite mortified*
: *comes up to Kami* Hey, Kami. You… didn’t tell Byakuran about last night, did you?
: Of course not.
: Well, he seems to be on to me. He’s been trying to coerce me to throw this challenge.
: Then he’s on to both of us. He’s threatening to slander me too.
: This could mean real trouble. I never expected to meet a guy who wouldn’t be too taken by my ravishing beauty to ever think of vandalizing my delicate features.
: Hey, no need to get too into the self-appraise, Glenna. I think I’ve got a way out of this. Come on to Cook’s kitchen. *goes off, Glenna following*
: *is sitting in front of his cabin* I would have thought those two would be making further progress in meeting my demands… *a paper airplane hits him* Kore wa nanida? *opens the airplane and finds cinnamon sugar in it* Mmm… *licks up the sugar off the paper, then notices a trail of cinnamon sugar left by the airplane* Mmm!!! *follows the trail, slurping it up as he goes*
: *meets Glenna, as she comes out of Byakuran’s cabin* Killer arm, Glen.
: Those fresh buns should keep him busy for a while. Did you get ‘em in there?
: Sure did. Now, are we just going to soil our talons until we’ve got these plates?
: If we play it right, we won’t need to. Leave that to me. *goes off*
Confessionals: : *is fiddling with a trinket* My chances of winning? *scoffs* Victory is inevitable at this stage. I have every pawn of the game lined straight up. Hosts… players… everything is coming together flawlessly. Anyone who dare meddle with me will have their inferior minds crumple like paper to my highly sophisticated scheming abilities.
: *is digging, when he spots a glint of gold* Yes! Halfway to that dinner. I can taste it already. *starts digging a hole to get the plate*
: *sees Galen digging* Oh, how thoughtful of you, Galen. I was just starting to get that feeling. *crouches over Galen’s hole*
: No, no, Lexi, don’t… Oh geez. *puts fingers over eyes*
: Y’know, Lacey’s right, you are a do-gooder. *gets up and wanders off*
Confessionals: : I believe the point of all this is to not have to deal with excrement. *sighs* All this trouble and I don’t even get invincibility for it.
: Why, hello, Galen.
: Glenna? I’m a little busy right now-
: Oh, come on, you can’t say you’ve got no time for my company. *slowly moves closer to Galen* Now, why don’t we sit down and talk-
: No! No no no! I know if I keep looking at you, you’ll get all flirty and stuff, and ask me to dig for you or something! Well, that’s not happening! Not this time! *puts a paper bag over his head* I can’t see you, and you can’t charm me! I’m not helping anyone this time!
: *notices the plate piece in the ground, and takes it while Galen’s eyes are covered* I’m glad we had this talk! *walks off* This one smells a little funky…
Confessionals: : My chances of winning? I don’t think there’s much left that could go wrong now. I can convince any male camper who thinks he wants me gone otherwise, Sakura’s lust for Sprites makes her a puppet just as easily as the boys’ lust for me, and dear, innocent, sweet little Kami’s too naďve to suspect a thing. The only thing I need to know how to win is what to do about Lacey. What could possibly be the exploitable weak point to the heart of a keen-minded, clever, skilled, talented, headstrong, musically unmatched, brilliant and highly seductive… Wait, where was I going with this again?
: *has been digging* You sure this is a good idea? They look mighty mad.
: I’m telling you, these hosts will always make you work for it. *reaches into a torn apart anthill, and pulls out a bronze plate piece* What did I tell you?
: *takes the piece* I’ll think twice about doubting you.
: What can I say? *the pit collapses on him* Uhh, help… No, no, don’t bite! Aaaahh!!!
: *sees the ants creeping over to her* Uhh, shoo, this is no picnic!!! *runs from the ants, leaving Rob buried to the neck, surrounded by ants*