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Thread: Important Announcement

  1. #1
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    Default Important Announcement

    “It’s time.”

    The three figures, cloaked in shadow, gathered around the desk. The room was dark, but for a single ray of light that conveniently sliced right across the desk, illuminating a bright red button (though it was really more of a coral pink, but “bright red button” sounded so much better and more ominous than “coral pink button”). Three sets of eyes looked upon the whatever-coloured button grimly.

    “Must we, really?” asked one.

    “I’d rather not,” said another.

    “There should be another way...” reasoned the last.

    Silence.

    “Wait, if none of us want to do this, why are we all here?”

    “Orders from the big guy.”

    “It’s hard to say no to him...”

    The three nodded in unison, though their mouths curled into frowns.

    “Maybe we should just be sadistic for once?”

    “Could be fun.”

    “I’m game...”

    Though none of them said it, each was reminded of that time that they had all gone to that restaurant they all hated but had agreed to go to anyway since nobody else had objected. Incidentally, they would end up going there later that afternoon.

    With what appeared to be resolve on all their faces, they simultaneously held out their right index fingers and pressed the bright red but really coral pink “Delete” button.



    It was early evening (well, depending on your time zone) on a mostly average day on the forum. Incidentally, it was Easter Monday, meaning no work, no school, and zero responsibility. Consequently, the forum was busy, but a mostly calm atmosphere hung in the air as members basked in the glory of the long weekend and the euphoria of the arrival of spring. (Those whose time zones were not in early spring had about 50% less euphoria and 20% more anxiety, but you can’t win ‘em all.) Readers glanced over the shoulders of writers hard at work, everyone munching chocolate eggs and marshmallow peeps and gummy bears, which they shared heartily amongst themselves, but for the few Jews for whom it was the second to last day of Passover. Instead, they had the privilege of chomping on edible cardboard, also known as matza, and nobody really wanted any of that (b-but thank you for offering).

    The gentle hum of conversation filled the Café, members sitting in plush couches and seats sipping from bowl-sized mugs as they chatted about Writing, Life, the Universe, and Everything. A few seats in the Completed library were occupied by readers deeply engrossed in tales of adventure, tragedy, romance, and many mysterious dungeons. Mostly mysterious dungeons.

    The Non-Pokémon section was relatively dead as always, but what else was new?

    It started when, amongst a circle of writers, one individual, staring fixedly at an entirely blank page save for the words “Chapter Two” at the top, turned around to ask a friend how to thinly veil a metaphor for the systematic excommunication of attention *****s, only to realize that she wasn’t there. He blinked back his surprise. Hadn’t she just been loudly ranting about how unnecessary Sylveon was not a moment before? He looked around desperately, but didn’t see her among the crowd. He turned to the neighbour on his left.

    “Excuse me, have you seen-“ He gasped. Where had his neighbour gone?!

    “Does anyone know where-“ His words got caught in his throat as he realized the circle of writers he had been a part of was now just an arch.

    Shelving the thought that this could make for a fantastic mystery story to the back of his mind, he got to his feet. Only then did he see the bright red flashes of light flaring across the forum.

    “Mother of Arceus.”



    “Kingpin. They’ve done it.”

    A fake cigar dropped to the floor in the head mafia office, a bit of spittle flying off the end of it.

    “You don’t say.”

    Luxurious curtains were pushed aside, light flooding the spacious room. But this was no ordinary daylight – these were the blinding red flashes of deletion. Everything in sight was blasting out of existence.

    “The transport is ready. Fanfiction.net is a cesspool of mediocrity, but it will sustain us.”

    The kingpin nodded, retrieving her cigar from the ground. She examined it briefly before sticking it back in her mouth.

    “That will do. In time, we can move things to my personal forum.” She spared one last glance out the window, her face illuminated red. “From there, we will watch this place burn.”



    “We have to do something!”

    “There’s nothing we can do but try to get away, before it’s too late.”

    “Damn it, we can’t just run! We stand for good! For justice!”

    “Dude, it’s just a name.”

    “We don’t have any responsibility here.”

    “Oh, right. Well, time to flee the server.”



    “Darn, I was so looking forward to the Awards this year.”

    “I actually put in the effort and read every single nominated fic so I could vote fairly.”

    “Oh, I just voted for the fics I read and put ‘No Vote’ for everything else.”

    “I don’t think that’s how you’re supposed to do it...”

    “And I was looking forward to finally winning something!”

    “You can’t win if you haven’t been nominated, silly.”

    You don’t know that.

    “And I was looking forward to adding another award to my collection.”

    “You poor, depraved child.”

    “Maybe it’s for the best that there won’t be any Awards, then.”

    “Maybe,” a few voices chimed.

    The group disappeared in one great flash of light.



    Writers, not knowing what to do, ran around like roosters with their heads chopped off, spewing random nonsense about tiaras, chicken flavoured dishwashers, Nicholas Cage, “THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!”, and other ridiculous-sounding things in the hopes of being funny and bringing laughter in their last moments. Indeed, each writer was laughing hysterically, but of course only at their own “jokes.” Everything else they heard was a bombardment of random, incomprehensible nonsense. Thankfully, the red light took them out of their confusion swiftly and silently, but for one unfortunate farting sound.



    From the Beta House, the last remaining mentors and mentorees fled like Durant scurrying from an anthill before seemingly being swallowed up by invisible Heatmor tongues.



    “All my ideas!” people screamed at the vanishing thread before they disappeared as their ideas had.



    The Almighty Rules faded away into nothingness. Not a **** was given that day.



    The forum was silent. A single tumbleweed bounced off some ancient fics from ’04 or so, but soon the person that had kicked it vanished, too.

  2. #2
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    All at once, members and threads reappeared. Surprised shouts erupted immediately as feet hit ground and eyes scanned the new surroundings.

    “What happened? Are we back?” one young woman asked.

    Indeed, they seemed to be right back where they had been before disappearing. Friends reunited and hugged, and a small clique was huddled together and sobbing dramatically, relieved to not be dead or anything.

    In the next instant, the three mysterious figures, now looking far less mysterious and much more approachable and somehow accountable, reappeared.

    “What the hell, mods?!” the entire forum seemed to shout in unison.

    The three looked around, surprised.

    “Didn’t you see the Important Announcement?” asked the first.

    “It’s in plain sight,” said the second.

    “Surely you saw it...” said the third.

    “What?!”

    The first turned to the second. “You did post the Important Announcement, right?”

    The second blushed. “Oh. Oops.”

    The third huffed. “Well, that’s just great...”

    The three looked at one another desperately and visibly gulped.

    “Guys, can we stop talking in order and just tell them?”

    “Yes, splendid idea.”

    “It would be about bloody time...”

    The entire forum population stared incredulously at the three, who looked down in embarrassment. Each seemed to want to speak, but couldn’t bring themselves to do so. A number of “er”s and “um”s later, they finally looked up.

    “It’s just routine forum maintenance.”

    “We’re on the backup server.”

    “Everything will return back to normal shortly.”

    The air rumbled with a collective groan and sigh of relief as people facepalmed and headdesked.

    It was a mostly average day.




    --

    Happy April Fools' Day from your resident Evil Moderator. :>

    It feels good to finally post something again. This took me a lot longer to write than I had expected, and it's my first attempt at a humour fic. I hope the result was somewhat amusing.

    ~Psychic

  3. #3
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    Hooraaaaaaaaay! I thought none of Serebii would be doing any sort of April Fool's Day trick, but you, good miss, have proved my stipulations false!

    Writers, not knowing what to do, ran around like roosters with their heads chopped off, spewing random nonsense about tiaras, chicken flavoured dishwashers, Nicholas Cage, “THAT'S MR. PSYCHIC!”, and other ridiculous-sounding things in the hopes of being funny and bringing laughter in their last moments. Indeed, each writer was laughing hysterically, but of course only at their own “jokes.” Everything else they heard was a bombardment of random, incomprehensible nonsense. Thankfully, the red light took them out of their confusion swiftly and silently, but for one unfortunate farting sound.
    I got two of those. I also guess you're from not a place that spells flavour "flavor"! Punctuation is crazy stuff!

    The three figures, cloaked in shadow, gathered around the desk. The room was dark, but for a single ray of light that conveniently sliced right across the desk, illuminating a bright red button (though it was really more of a coral pink, but “bright red button” sounded so much better and more ominous than “coral pink button”).
    You have described evil logic in like 24 words. Always trying to justify or avoid facing their nebulous deeds, rather than admitting they are stupid and dumb!

    It started when, amongst a circle of writers, one individual, staring fixedly at an entirely blank page save for the words “Chapter Two” at the top...
    This is embarrassing how accurate this is.

    “What the hell, mods?!” the entire forum seemed to shout in unison.
    Y'know, there was a time when I always trying to kiss up to the mods. A time, when I would seek out their competitive team reviews and review them using all the latest knowledges, just to impress 'em (of course, I always managed to embarrass myself anyway. That impressed them!). That phase is looooooong gone.

    A very fine satire on the more ridiculous things of the fanfiction forum; I very much enjoyed this. Truly, a celebration of the fact that we could be doing more relevant things with our lives, but who cares about those things?
    Last edited by chanseychansey77; 2nd April 2013 at 3:37 AM.

  4. #4
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    I guess the joke of this flew over my head, I wasn't really on at all this morning to see anything. And when I got on in the afternoon, I didn't see anything. So... *weakly points* ...ha?

    All I can gather is this actually did happen on the site (then again, you've only limited this to the writer's section of Serebii--though the mentioning of the non-Pokémon section made me giggle, surprised the Shipping Fics section wasn't mentioned), and what better way to do it than to immortalize it in a short, satirical one (two?)-shot. Well... phooey. I wish I was on here to witness this if it actually happened. I don't know if I would've freaked out or waved it off as an April Fool's joke because I'm savvy like that. Of course, I don't remember the site doing this last year either, so I guess my expectations were really low to begin with.

    *shrugs* Oh well. It's at least an easy read, and I hardly see any fics revolving around the forums these days anymore. I remember there were quite a bit back in the day--not that I read them to begin with, but yeah. So... you tried ^_^;? *hands gold star* Sorry to take the fun and silliness from it all, I'm just really lost and accepting about it that I'm sure the other members who were here could take something from it.
    Winner of Best Pokémon/Pokémon Fic of 2013 in the Shipping Oscars
    Current Chapter: Chapter Ten - 3/17/14 / Current: Requiem I - 11/17/14 - Chapter 21 progress: 66%
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by chanseychansey77 View Post
    Hooraaaaaaaaay! I thought none of Serebii would be doing any sort of April Fool's Day trick, but you, good miss, have proved my stipulations false!
    Phew! Yeah, unfortunately SPPf doesn't really do April Fools' anymore (trust me, I complained about it too - darned British webmaster not celebrating north American events), so I am glad to have delivered.

    Quote Originally Posted by chanseychansey77 View Post
    I got two of those. I also guess you're from not a place that spells flavour "flavor"! Punctuation is crazy stuff!
    I was wondering if anyone would get all four! And nope, neither myself nor the person whose fic that is from spell it the American way, incidentally. :>

    Quote Originally Posted by chanseychansey77 View Post
    You have described evil logic in like 24 words. Always trying to justify or avoid facing their nebulous deeds, rather than admitting they are stupid and dumb!
    Stupid? Dumb?! Says who?!
    (They might be right.)

    Quote Originally Posted by chanseychansey77 View Post
    This is embarrassing how accurate this is.
    Ah, the life of every writer ever. *sobs*

    Quote Originally Posted by chanseychansey77 View Post
    Y'know, there was a time when I always trying to kiss up to the mods. A time, when I would seek out their competitive team reviews and review them using all the latest knowledges, just to impress 'em (of course, I always managed to embarrass myself anyway. That impressed them!). That phase is looooooong gone.
    Flattery will get you nowhere, buuuuuut we still enjoy it sometimes. *whistles innocently*
    That said, I like the mental image of the entire forum comically turning to us all at once. Preferably without turning into a mob, of course.

    Quote Originally Posted by chanseychansey77 View Post
    A very fine satire on the more ridiculous things of the fanfiction forum; I very much enjoyed this. Truly, a celebration of the fact that we could be doing more relevant things with our lives, but who cares about those things?
    (Fan fiction is totally relevant to our lives! Kind of! Maybe?)

    Thank you for taking the time, and I'm glad you enjoyed!


    Quote Originally Posted by Kutie Pie View Post
    I guess the joke of this flew over my head, I wasn't really on at all this morning to see anything. And when I got on in the afternoon, I didn't see anything. So... *weakly points* ...ha?

    All I can gather is this actually did happen on the site (then again, you've only limited this to the writer's section of Serebii--though the mentioning of the non-Pokémon section made me giggle, surprised the Shipping Fics section wasn't mentioned), and what better way to do it than to immortalize it in a short, satirical one (two?)-shot. Well... phooey. I wish I was on here to witness this if it actually happened. I don't know if I would've freaked out or waved it off as an April Fool's joke because I'm savvy like that. Of course, I don't remember the site doing this last year either, so I guess my expectations were really low to begin with.
    I should specify - this has not, at least in my recent memory, happened. There was no SPPf April Fools' prank 2013 (unfortunately), so you didn't miss anything in that regard. This was just a theoretical situation where the Fan Fiction subforum needed to be cleaned up, and the mods dropped the ball and forgot to warn people, so they kind of seem evil and it puts everyone in a panic. (As for why Shipping Fics wasn't mentioned, it honestly didn't cross my mind. Plus I don't really know the section well enough to think up a decent joke about it. :x)

    Quote Originally Posted by Kutie Pie View Post
    *shrugs* Oh well. It's at least an easy read, and I hardly see any fics revolving around the forums these days anymore. I remember there were quite a bit back in the day--not that I read them to begin with, but yeah. So... you tried ^_^;? *hands gold star* Sorry to take the fun and silliness from it all, I'm just really lost and accepting about it that I'm sure the other members who were here could take something from it.
    The idea for this fic was actually semi-inspired by a couple recent fics that at somewhat about the forum (which I also referenced)! I only remember one forum-based fic from back in the day - the good ol' Serebeth N00b Trials (which, though unfinished, I would still recommend if you ever want a laugh).

    Still, thank you for reading, and I'm sorry it wasn't as clear as I'd hoped. Hope this clears things up a bit! *proudly hangs gold star on the wall*

    ~Psychic

  6. #6
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    When I read the title of this fic, I actually thought it was an important announcement.

    Anyway, this fic was the highlight of my April Fool's day, after several unsuccessful and cliché attempts at trying to fool me. I laughed at all the references to the forum in this fic (especially the writers of justice part and the Fanfiction Mafia. Don't know how Jax is going to react to her character). All in all, this was really good humor fic, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
    Last edited by T-Bolt; 2nd April 2013 at 5:58 PM.

  7. #7
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    My fate...that was beautiful. Absolutely - freaking - beautiful. I quite loved all of the references to the different groups and threads; that put a very nice touch on this fun little satire. I really don't have anything to correct (and I don't think I'd be able to find any errors; I still have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard), so I'm just going to add quirky comments whenever I can:

    Quote Originally Posted by Psychic
    Though none of them said it, each was reminded of that time that they had all gone to that restaurant they all hated but had agreed to go to anyway since nobody else had objected. Incidentally, they would end up going there later that afternoon.
    How could you all go to that one restaurant that you all hate? Don't you all live in three different countries? And doesn't one of you in particular live in a different hemisphere than the other two? XD Logic does not compute.

    Readers glanced over the shoulders of writers hard at work, everyone munching chocolate eggs and marshmallow peeps and gummy bears, which they shared heartily amongst themselves, but for the few Jews for whom it was the second to last day of Passover. Instead, they had the privilege of chomping on edible cardboard, also known as matza, and nobody really wanted any of that (b-but thank you for offering).
    Lawl. Coming from a guy who has a Jewish mother (but doesn't really consider himself Jewish), this is one of the truest statements of the year. I'm so glad that I don't have to eat that stuff on any other day than the very first night of Passover.

    The gentle hum of conversation filled the Café, members sitting in plush couches and seats sipping from bowl-sized mugs as they chatted about Writing, Life, the Universe, and Everything.
    Could that be a subtle reference to Visitor Messages? XD

    The Non-Pokémon section was relatively dead as always, but what else was new?
    Only relatively dead? I don't think that it's a case of the Princess Bride where the forum's only "mostly dead"; all that's missing in this case is the death certificate itself.

    “Kingpin. They’ve done it.”

    A fake cigar dropped to the floor in the head mafia office, a bit of spittle flying off the end of it.
    Jeez louise...you really did think of everything, didn't you? XD Mass kudos and much respect.

    “The transport is ready. Fanfiction.net is a cesspool of mediocrity, but it will sustain us.”
    It's an honest mistake, but you may want to cut out the "of mediocrity"; it makes the sentence sound unrealistic.

    “We have to do something!”

    “There’s nothing we can do but try to get away, before it’s too late.”

    “Damn it, we can’t just run! We stand for good! For justice!”

    “Dude, it’s just a name.”
    XDD I think I died of laughter when I read this. My earthbound ghost will now type the rest of this review. XD

    “Darn, I was so looking forward to the Awards this year.”

    “I actually put in the effort and read every single nominated fic so I could vote fairly.”

    “Oh, I just voted for the fics I read and put ‘No Vote’ for everything else."
    You just keep nailing scene after scene with this fic. Seriously, I'm absolutely loving this April Fools satire. It demonstrates every little quirk about the Fanfiction forum on Serebii, and it's so enjoyable to read from an insider's perspective.

    The Almighty Rules faded away into nothingness. Not a **** was given that day.
    XD I bet you loved putting that line in there.

    “What the hell, mods?!” the entire forum seemed to shout in unison.
    Yeah, what the hell, mods? Thanks a lot for deleting me out of existence for a few hours. I don't think that my boss would've considered that a good excuse to miss work. :P

    The first turned to the second. “You did post the Important Announcement, right?”

    The second blushed. “Oh. Oops.”

    The third huffed. “Well, that’s just great...”
    ...Well, at least we know that mods make mistakes like the rest of us. XD

    But anyway, I quite loved this fic. It's not really Pokemon-based, so it threw me off for a bit, but when I realized what it was about, it quickly became a joy to read. I just loved the fact that you poked as much fun at this forum as you did; it's not often that I see people in general do that, much less a moderator. Then again, it was April Fools...

    So, yeah, I did love that fic...aside from me dying from laughter. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna try and sneak past St. Peter; the jerk wouldn't let me in the last five times I tried to get through the pearly gates by legal means.

    Sincerely,

    Mem.
    CURRENT STORY

    A Time for Everything - Kalos has lived peacefully for far too long, following the ideals of the corrupt. It's time to change that... An AU of X/Y.

  8. #8
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    I laughed. When I first looked at it, I saw it was started on April First. My thoughts exactly: "Wait a sec mods this isn't an April Fools prank is it?" Sure enough, it was a prank. Good job, I almost thought it was real, but I realized it was April Fool's, even though it was two days ago.
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by T-Bolt View Post
    When I read the title of this fic, I actually thought it was an important announcement.

    Anyway, this fic was the highlight of my April Fool's day, after several unsuccessful and cliché attempts at trying to fool me. I laughed at all the references to the forum in this fic (especially the writers of justice part and the Fanfiction Mafia. Don't know how Jax is going to react to her character). All in all, this was really good humor fic, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
    It miiiiiight have been titled for just that reason. *halo of innocence*

    That's awesome to hear! (And hey, I fooled you by thinking it actually was an announcement, right? >D) I'm really glad people are getting the references! (And Jax had an...interesting reaction. ;]) I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reading!



    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    My fate...that was beautiful. Absolutely - freaking - beautiful. I quite loved all of the references to the different groups and threads; that put a very nice touch on this fun little satire. I really don't have anything to correct (and I don't think I'd be able to find any errors; I still have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard), so I'm just going to add quirky comments whenever I can
    Mission accomplished, then~ The references also made writing it a helluvalotta fun, and it's knowing people got 'em is quite encouraging. Quirk away!

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    How could you all go to that one restaurant that you all hate? Don't you all live in three different countries? And doesn't one of you in particular live in a different hemisphere than the other two? XD Logic does not compute.
    It's apparently called the Albany effect - nobody actually voices their true opinion about not liking the restaurant because they assume everyone else sincerely wants to go, so everyone winds up being completely miserable as a result. As for the distance thing...well, the internet brings people together, no?

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    Lawl. Coming from a guy who has a Jewish mother (but doesn't really consider himself Jewish), this is one of the truest statements of the year. I'm so glad that I don't have to eat that stuff on any other day than the very first night of Passover.
    *high five* Represent! I was wondering if there would be any fellow Jews who would know my plight. Alas, you had it good - I kept 100% kosher along with my family this year, and we had the stomach aches to show for it!

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    Could that be a subtle reference to Visitor Messages? XD
    XD I didn't think of that, actually. It's specifically a reference to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    Only relatively dead? I don't think that it's a case of the Princess Bride where the forum's only "mostly dead"; all that's missing in this case is the death certificate itself.
    Well y'see, it's more of a case like the one in Monty Python, where one party insists the bloody thing's dead, an ex-parrot, and the other insists that "it's just restin'"! So as not to offend anyone, we'll just say "it's not dead yet!"

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    Jeez louise...you really did think of everything, didn't you? XD Mass kudos and much respect.
    Thank you, I did try my best~

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    It's an honest mistake, but you may want to cut out the "of mediocrity"; it makes the sentence sound unrealistic.
    Unrealistic, perhaps, but certainly true.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    XDD I think I died of laughter when I read this. My earthbound ghost will now type the rest of this review. XD
    Ghosts are welcome! And I am very glad people are getting the reference to that one.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    You just keep nailing scene after scene with this fic. Seriously, I'm absolutely loving this April Fools satire. It demonstrates every little quirk about the Fanfiction forum on Serebii, and it's so enjoyable to read from an insider's perspective.
    *bows* Thank you, thank you. Luckily I've had a good amount of material to work with. Once again, I'm glad people are getting the references.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    XD I bet you loved putting that line in there.
    Surprisingly, yes. Yes I did. XD

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    Yeah, what the hell, mods? Thanks a lot for deleting me out of existence for a few hours. I don't think that my boss would've considered that a good excuse to miss work. :P
    We tried to warn you! And c'mon, it's your own fault for hanging around the Cafe instead of working (but we promise we won't tell your boss ;]).

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    ...Well, at least we know that mods make mistakes like the rest of us. XD
    Yeeeeeep. ^^;

    Quote Originally Posted by SilentMemento View Post
    But anyway, I quite loved this fic. It's not really Pokemon-based, so it threw me off for a bit, but when I realized what it was about, it quickly became a joy to read. I just loved the fact that you poked as much fun at this forum as you did; it's not often that I see people in general do that, much less a moderator. Then again, it was April Fools...

    So, yeah, I did love that fic...aside from me dying from laughter. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna try and sneak past St. Peter; the jerk wouldn't let me in the last five times I tried to get through the pearly gates by legal means.

    Sincerely,

    Mem.
    I will take any opportunity to poke fun at the forum – April Fools' just happened to be a good excuse! You've got to be able to laugh at yourself, after all. I'm really glad it was enjoyable and got a good laugh. Good luck getting through those gates – I hear security's pretty tight!


    Quote Originally Posted by TheGreatGigInTheSky View Post
    I laughed. When I first looked at it, I saw it was started on April First. My thoughts exactly: "Wait a sec mods this isn't an April Fools prank is it?" Sure enough, it was a prank. Good job, I almost thought it was real, but I realized it was April Fool's, even though it was two days ago.
    Yes indeed! I'm very glad it made you laugh. That reminds me that I should probably state somewhere that this is indeed a fic from April Fools’ Day for clarity's sake. :>


    ~Psychic

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