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Thread: The Mentor (Pearl and Advanceshipping) PG-13

  1. #1
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    After months of lurking in the shipping forums, I've finally gotten mustered enough courage and time to post my shipping fic here. I'm practically a nobody in the shipping forums, but I still love to ship.

    This is my first attempt at a fic, and its not going to be the best. I realise that. Just, try to be nice, and give constructive comments.

    Lol, note. I like Pearlshipping most. ;]

    Not much shipping in the first chapter, just some intro.

    The Mentor (Pearl and Advanceshipping) PG-13

    A young Pokemon trainer named Ash, faces the many challenges and trials of a pokemon trainer, teaching and guiding others along the way. But what happens when the biggest challenge of his life so far comes through two girls?

    A Cup of Delight, Five Cups of Fright
    Chapter 1


    It was a quiet day in the Kanto region. A young raven-haired boy was lying on the grass, alone yet again, fresh from completing yet another adventure in the wild world of Pokemon. A small yellow mouse, half-asleep, was the first pokemon he had partnered, and they had been inseparable buddies ever since. The sun shone in the boy’s face, forcing him to adjust his cap a bit.

    The young man in question had just finished traveling through the Sinnoh Region, along with his spiky haired friend and pokemon breeder, Brock, and a blue-haired, excitable coordinator named Dawn. All three friends had gone their separate ways after the completion of the Sinnoh League, but all had promised to keep in touch. Though both missed by the boy, he knew that he had more adventures to face in the future, with new friends, and new pokemon.

    Stopping by in his old hometown called Pallet, the young man had greeted his loving and supporting mother, Delia Ketchum, cheerful as always, as well as his mentor, Professor Samuel Oak, world-renowned Pokemon expert. The small greetings, and short discussions, lasted quite a while, and soon afterward, left, ready for yet another adventure around the wonderful world of pokemon.

    Here in this world, his world, filled with hundreds and hundreds of different kinds of pokemon, some as big as the largest skyscrapers, some as tiny as the smallest rodents, the world of pokemon had no end. The world, filled with mysteries, waiting to be discovered, with so many different people and pokemon waiting to be met.

    That is the boy's main motivation to travel and train with his pokemon. So many things he had yet to see, so many places left to explore, so many pokemon to catch and befriend; there was just no way to stop the boy's journey for mastery of all pokemon.

    Though a far-fetched dream, the adolescent had never given up on it, and had never rejected an opprotunity to help fulfill his dreams.

    Though he may seem reckless at times, he knew he wouldn't be true to himself if he had thought things out. In fact, it was this impulsive actioning that had saved the world numerous times.

    Though already being fourteen years old, and having traveled through so many places, he had yet to outgrow some of the immaturity he had when he had barely started out, unable to comprehend pretty much anything. Though one thing would never change, no matter how old, how mature or how long he'd have traveled, he would always fight the last fight, always go the extra mile, and always try to do the right thing.

    He would never give up. He would never give up on all that he worked for. His name was Ash Ketchum, and he had a dream. And he was never going to be stopped.

    --------------------------------------------

    Told of a brand new league located nearby the Orange Islands, Ash stormed his way to the ferry area. In complete relaxation in a nearby Pallet field, Ash had completely forgotten about the ship he had to be on in 10 minutes. With Pikachu by his side, Ash could only hope that he would make it in time. Taking a quick glance at the ticket, he saw that he had to be on boat seven, destination, Orange Islands. From there, he would take a short bus ride to the nearby league Pokemon Center. Darn it. Its nearly seven. How long was that nap I had taken anyway. I could have sworn it was at least two o’clock last time I had checked.

    Out of breath, Ash and Pikachu had finally arrived at the local ferry service. A large pokeball clock, and simple signs reading the basic details of which ferry was to go where, and their schedules. Quickly heading to the ferry seven, Ash had just realized he had thirty seconds to get onboard. Making it to the entrance Ash tried to give the man at the gate his ticket.

    “Look at the clock, sir.”

    The clock read, 7:01. Just one minute. Where they really that strict about the time? Its not like they leave EXACTLY at seven.

    “Um, its just one minute. And it doesn’t leave in about 15 minutes. Can’t you make an exception? I need to get to that league” Ash pleaded with the man. He hated waiting, especially with a new adventure awaiting him.

    “No.” The man barely moved, not even looking at the boy. His blue eyes not moving, and his uniform being moved around by a slight breeze. “You’re late. Boarding time is over. Goodbye boy.” The man seemed intent on not letting anyone on board anymore.

    “Please sir? I really need to go.” Not very true, as there were still a few months until the league had started. But he had really needed to get there.

    “No. Boarding time is over.”

    "Please? Pretty please? With the little sugar on top?" Ash sounding a little desperate, but he wasn't going to give up without trying.

    "I have a medical condition! I have, the... Chickenpox!" Ash, picking the only sickness he had actually known.

    "Try the medical center." The man, sensing the boy's intentions.

    This had gone on and on, with Ash making up every excuse he could think of, including one of his sick grandmother, and some toe fungus, until the man had threatened to call security. At that Ash was just about give up and pay for another ticket for a different time, but was stopped by an elderly man's strong grip, probably a year or two older than Professor Oak. He wore an eye patch, and a pirate’s hat. He looked like quite the odd man.

    “John, let this poor boy in. He’s visibly got something very important to get to, and we wouldn’t want to stop him, would we?” The man seemed to be playing games with the guard. The man revealed a sword, under the huge blue coat, covering most of his body and pointed the tip of the sword right at John. Ash could barely contain his laughter, but feared the reaction of the huge guard as well as the man with the sword.

    “But sir, he’s late. He's way past boarding time.” The man desperately tried to stand his ground against the elderly man.

    “He wouldn’t be this late if you had not held him up in the first place? Anyways, there’s still plenty of time.” The elderly man had started to get a little impatient that the man wouldn't follow. Poking the sword a little closer, the elder was a little impatient.

    Knowing better than to anger his boss, the guard reluctantly let Ash go through to the ferry, surprisingly followed by the elder man and his walking stick.

    “Um, sir, just a small question. Who are you?” Ash was a little surprised that a total stranger had helped him, not even knowing his name.

    “Arr, I’m a pirate.” The man seemed to be speaking in a very forced accent, undetected by Ash. “ I sail the seven seas, and take large ships just like this. You seem fairly built. You ever think of the pirate business?” The man was just acting plain childish, and thought he could have gotten some laughs. The teenager’s answer was more than he expected though.

    Ash, oblivious to the sarcasm, replied in a very fearful man. "Nonono. Just don’t hurt me. I have to take care of Pikachu, my pokemon, and my mom can’t just be left alone. Please don’t hurt me." Pikachu, dropped down in embarrassment at his owner’s density.

    Captain Ben raised his eyebrow and put his sword back in his coat. “Can't you detect sarcasm or tricks, boy? Nah, I’m just playing with you. I’m Capt. Ben. Owner of the ferries run around here. I just play with the older kids, to brighten up their day. Too many sad people coming here, leaving their friends and family. ” The captain proudly exclaimed directly. As the captain removed his coat, Ash could finally get a good glimpse at him.

    Ben was quite the odd individual. Though in his fourties, Ben still had the appearance of a relatively young man. Owning an impressive physique, Ben still looked able to perform basic tasks, without much difficulty. Sporting a light-colored t-shirt, and dark blue jeans, Ben was visibly not a pirate. His jet-black hair, with a slight tint of white, messy and mainly covered by a small, old fashioned seaman's hat, and his impressive build, one wouldn’t have guessed he was anywhere older than thirty. A gray beard lay unshaved on his face, kept there, mainly due to his forgetting nature, and his slight liking to it.

    “Nice meeting you and all captain, but I think the ferry’s about to leave. Unless, you’re going along of course.” A loud horn, that had signaled there were thirty seconds before departure, had been sounded off quite loudly in Ash’s ear. Ash, in a way hoped he would join him The older man was quite nice, in his opinion. Strange, yeah but a bit nice. It would have been much nicer to have at least known someone in the fairly small ship.

    “Nah, I’ve got some business to run in Viridian. Well, I’m off.” The old man, with surprising agility, made his way off the boat, and signaled the crew members that they could leave.

    The boat, just about ready to leave, has its last way off boat taken down by the on-shore crew members, and the boat begins its long trip through the seas. A slight sea breeze blew by Ash and Pikachu, as they waved goodbye to Capt. Ben, taking in the scent of the sea.

    “Good evening passengers, this is your captain speaking. The time now is approximately seven thirty at night, local time, and we will arrive at the destination at approximately one thirty AM, Hoenn time. I hope you’ll all have a good and safe trip to Littleroot town, and have a good night.”

    “LITTLEROOT?”

    ~~~~~~~

    Ash awoke on a bench, surrounded by, judging by their clothing, crew members. Smelly ones at that. Laying his head back on the bench, Ash listened to the older men speak.

    “Ah, the boy’s finally awake. Call his pretty little friend. I’m sure she’s going to be relieved.” The largest man there shouted. One small man, responded quickly and ran out, supposedly to get Ash’s companion.

    “Friend? What friend?” Ash knew he hadn’t brought anyone along. Well, except for Pikachu, yawning slightly on top of Ash. The little Pikachu seemed a bit scared for it's trainer's sake as well as cold, shivering a little. Ash quickly placed his hat on his Pikachu, to keep it warm. The yellow mouse squeeked in relief.

    The atmosphere of the room seemed very unwelcoming, what with ten or so muscular men inside of it. “What happened?” Ash felt quite confused. The last thing he remembered was the words, Littleroot and night.

    “You passed out a bit there young lad. This is the first-aid office. I’m Doctor Cook, head of first aid” He pointed towards himself, showing a fair-skinned man, sporting glasses and a strange mustache. “This is Georgie” he said ,pointing at the largest man in the room. “The nurse, and my assistant”

    “And the rest of these men, are the crew members of this ferry. Crew, meet Ash Ketchum.” The other men uncharacteristically squealed in their shock of seeing such a famous trainer onboard their ship and started gathering around him for his autograph. Even Georgie was a bit interested, trying to get a better look at the boy.

    A worried voice was heard over the seamen’s chatter about what had happened to him.

    “Ash, are you all right?”

    Ash couldn’t believe it. He didn’t think he’d be seeing her anytime soon. Let alone on his trip to wherever this boat was headed to.


    ~~~~~~~

    A cliffhanger, except since this is a shipping fic, with a very specific shipping, you'll probably already have guessed who it will be. ;]
    Last edited by Star Dust; 22nd May 2008 at 2:28 PM.

  2. #2
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    So far, I am liking this fic. You have described it well, an it seems that you have come up with a pretty neat idea to tie the shipping in with.

    Keep up the good work, especially as this is your first fic.

  3. #3
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    Thanks. Reviews make writers feel better. :] It took me like 3 weeks just for an idea. ^_^;

    And, any guesses as to who the girl on the boat is? xD

    2 guesses. :P

    Edit
    Lol, I wonder if the Pearl and Advanceshipping to come scared people away. >_<
    Last edited by Star Dust; 22nd May 2008 at 6:11 PM.

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    I've actually mentioned an idea that Ash would be traveling with those two girls in the shipping forum. I like how the story starts out in the beginning. No grammar mistakes, good description, and the fact that Ash ketchum is still as dense as ever. I'm liking this so far that I can see its potential. Just remember to do your best and keep up the good work.
    Last edited by The Horizon; 23rd May 2008 at 7:27 PM.
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    Okay time to write a quick review since I'm going to lock myself in my room and Play PKMN: Diamond all night. ;D Yes I'm crazy.

    Very well written I should say. Knowing you I see no grammar mistakes, spelling or any of the such. :] It's very funny too. And I think I know who 'Capt. Ben' is. Just taking a quick guess though. I'm guessing the girl on the boat is Dawn. Because I said so. :] Keep it up, but don't be expecting so many reviews from me. Remember I'm more of the Pokeshipper so yeah. Could you put Misty and Tracey in there? Or Gary? Haha.
    s a y o n a r a
    29/10/2013

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    Thx guys. :] Will start writing the second chapter. SOON. Don't worry, its in the works. ;]

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    Wow this is pretty good. Your descriptions are great, much better than I could ever do

    I have to say that I was a little worried about the advanshipping and pearlshipping. But the first chapter has gotten my attention and I will keep reading!

    I'll try to be objective and keep my Team Misty comments to myself! lol j/k!


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  8. #8
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    Well seeing as you kindly reviewed my previous chapters. I'll return the favour. Or at least I think it was you and not the other one ???

    For a first chapter you have goten many of the basics done fairly nicely. Discriptions were done well, as well as the way in which things went in the chapter. Not dwelling too long on the summary. and a nice transition to the actual story from said summary.

    BUt the Cliffhanger...

    This is your first chapter, come on.Whyyyyyyy????

    But moving on from my dislike in cliffhangers. It was pulled off quite well, altough the'littleroot' detour for Ash seems tohave gotten things to start taking an unusual twist.

    So for the sake of cliffhangers. I hope you update soon.
    My Advanceshipping Fanfic on Serbii HERE

    and now I vanish...

  9. #9
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    xD Cliffhangers make people want to read more. But the first sentence in the next chapter should make it clear. ;]

    So, an update on the next chapter. As I am away at camp and going to get busy with school again, I'll probably force myself to write the rest of it by next week. So, I give myself my first deadline. I have finished, about 4 pages already and need to write the second half of the chapter. I don't have it with me now, so I can't write any more, this weekend, and will be swamped next week.

    Thanks for the reviews, and see you next week.

  10. #10
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    Sorry to anyone who's been waiting for an update, but i've finally made a Chapter 2.

    Chapter 2

    Dawn looked down at the young lad, and could barely stop herself from giggling at his reaction from seeing her.

    The look on his tanned face, clueless as always. Even after nearly a year apart, he was still the same raven-haired, bumbling idiot.

    The boy was frantically asking anybody in his eyesight for any information as to where he was, what he was doing in that cramped room
    and why on earth his blue-haired friend from Sinnoh, Dawn, and a half-dozen sailors were curiously staring at him.

    "Ugh, my head." Ash massaged his throbbing forehead, still reeling from his sudden awakening.

    Ash quickly jumped off the mat, and came face-to-face with the man who happened to be the head of the aforementioned crew, Doctor Cook and his assistant Georgie.. He was not one to be played around with, noticably larger, and more toned than any other man in that room at the time. He had bright blue eyes, and a gruffled, hairy face, and whether intentionally or unintentionally, spoke in a loud and slightly annoying tone.

    Despite that, he still wore a bright smile and appeared friendly. Beside the doctor was Georgie, his muscle-bound, silent nurse, or as "George" put it, "Assistant Clinic Head". Georgie quickly turned his head away when Ash turned in his direction, staring into blank space again.

    "Woah, don't rush Ash. Capt. Ben tells me you've been through quite a bit of stress lately, and we wouldn't want you having another stress attack." Doctor Cook seemed
    sincere, and Ash lied back down on the bench, head throbbing and thoughts distorted.

    "Hmph, well I guess we're not important enough for you to say hello to." Dawn mock-turned her head, teasing Ash, joined by a vibrant and "ignored" yellow mouse. "Pika pikachu!"
    The mouse finished the statement emphatically with a thundershock.

    "Pika!" The electric mouse let out a significant charge of energy, shocking everyone in the room.

    "Err, Ash I think you're alright now. Just try to avoid too much stress." Georgie, visibly annoyed, quickly and happily showed Ash and Dawn the door.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Outside the first-aid room, was the usually crowded deck. Not too many people were outside though, not surprising based on what time it was.

    " *Cough* Hi Pikachu" Pikachu greeted Ash with a "Pika!" and joyfully skipped all the way up to Ash's shoulder, happy to see it's trainer once again.

    "Oh and hi again Dawn. Long time no see."

    "Good to see you too Ash." Dawn smirked, remembering her first encounter with Ash. But she noticed something different about him, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Was it a
    new cap? Was it a bigger build? Were it his growing muscles?

    Dawn then realized she had been staring at Ash the past half-minute, and quickly turned away to avoid any theories from Ash. To avoid suspicion, she asked how're things going.

    "Well, for once in my life as a trainer, I amazingly don't have Team Rocket on my trail, or Brock for that matter." Ash replied. Brock had stayed back home at Pewter to help
    run the family gym, and Team Rocket had disappeared off somewhere.

    Ash, Dawn and Pikacu headed towards a couple of recliners left vacant by an elderly couple hobbling back to their rooms. They settled in and, sat there, gazing at the night sky, and an occasional glance at the other. They were suprised at the sudden outpoaring of things they each wanted to talk about, but were unable to say much, if anything
    at all.

    "So Dawn, what do you plan to do at Hoenn? The contest season doesn't start for a while." Ash remembered his first time around Hoenn, with the contests only happening
    during a 6 month period.

    "Really?!?" Dawn quickly reached for the contest brochure in her fanny pack, having her excitement burst like a balloon.

    An akward silence reigned over for a while, until Dawn finally spoke up.

    "So Ash, why go back to Hoenn?" Dawn was a bit puzzled as Ash had already competed in the Hoenn league, and usually looked for new challenges in the form
    of a new place to explore..

    "Long story... " Ash was too embarassed to outline the recent turn of events, as even though Dawn was one of his closest friends, he still had his ego to protect. Nevertheless, he narrated on,
    interupted by the occasional giggle from Dawn. When he finished, Dawn was gazing at the stars, her face illuminated by the moonlight, and her blue hair shining
    in the dark night sky.

    Ash took a quick look at Dawn, and felt his cheeks warm and face turn red. He didn't know why, but everytime he looked at her , he felt nervous.
    Out of impulse, Ash softly mumbled "wanagowithmetobreakfast" in Dawn's direction.

    "What was that Ash?" Dawn seemed slightly hesitant, and nervous as well.

    He got away without her hearing it the first time, but he could never expect what he was about to do.
    "DO YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME TO BREAKFAST TOMMOROW?." He shouted at the top ofhis voice, just then realising how idiotic what he just did was.

    They embarassedly hid their heads from eyesight from angry guests, and Dawn whispered into Ash's ear a quick yes, trying to avoid scolding.

    Just then, a sudden twinkle of light appeared out of nowhere, and three very familiar criminals flew down, coincidentally, right in front of where Ash and Dawn were seated.

    "Not again. It's too late for me to deal with you three." Ash groaned.

    TBC

    Guess who. 8-|

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