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Thread: Oddlight (Twilight Parody)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007

    Default Oddlight (Twilight Parody)

    Title: Oddlight
    Rating: PG
    Fandom: Pokemon
    Shipping: Sunstoneshipping (Bellossom/Vileplume)
    Notes/Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Nintendo and Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. This fan fiction is a pokemon parody of twilight. I did a drawing on it, but I didn't think I could flesh it into a good fic at the time I did the picture. But now I felt like writing a funny fic for it. This story wasn't made to insult twilight fans, but rather to amuse and entertain.


    Why did I have to leave Kanto? I loved sprinting around Viridian Forest and creating sunny days and petal blizzards where ever I went. The highlights of my life included going to Celadon Gym and getting pampered by the gym leader, Erika.

    My last trainer was a beautiful yet spoilt little girl. Now I'm stuck with a lanky tall man named Larry. He wore a hideous orange blazer and worn out jeans. On the bright side at least he had a funny goatee and a nice smile. I might grow to like him, but as of now I hate him.

    We were in a region called Kalos. I trembled as my flowers began spinning around. I gasped and lowered my head, realizing I was a million miles away from the things I loved. I wanted to cry, but the cold side of me forced me to fake a smile and a happy dance.

    Larry got me out of my ball. "Okay Bella Swom," he said with his thumbs up. He stroked the red petals on my flowers as he said, "Let's play pokemon amie."

    I titled my head and scratched my head. My mouth was left wide open. My heart sunk and tears flowed down my face. My petals were sensitive, I didn't like it when people touched the flowers on my head.

    He began to pamper me like Erika from the gym, but he wasn't as soft and gentle as her. Then he played some weird little games and began stuffing puffins down my mouth. The puffins were delicious, but sugar in them would have been bad for me.

    I tried my best to enjoy it. Larry seemed delighted. I wonder what I will inherit from this trainer?

    "Oh Bella Swom," he said as he patted my head. "You're so cute."

    He's not wasn't going to win my heart just like that, but I appreciated all the time and effort he put into it. I felt a lot more happier than I did earlier.

    "I'm going to put you back in your ball," Larry said. Just as he was about to get my ball out, he dropped it and his eyes widened at the presence of a young lady. She looked as if she was fresh out of a fairy tale book with the big pink dress and glistening blonde hair. The lady smiled as she twirled around the trees and removed her mauve cloak as a sign to go and catch her.

    It didn't surprise me when Larry decided to run after her. The blind leading the blind.

    But nothing about the cloudy sky would have made be predict that I was about to meet somebody who would change my life forever. It was a vileplume, but not just any old vileplume. It was something I had never seen before. Instead of a dark blue, his skin was green and the rafflesia on his head was orange instead of pink.

    I could see little stars escape his skin as his body began to sparkle. I was drifted towards him by the power of his beady orange eyes. His glare was emotionless and ice cold, but I felt every single emotion quiver inside of me.

    His sweet scent had turned my world upside down. When our bodies collided, he held onto me and cradled me like a newborn baby. Everything felt dark and beautiful. When he kissed me, I realised how little I knew about the world, but there were three things that I knew were true.

    First of all, Vileplume was called Edvile Plummen. I met him in combat and I was shot down and crippled by his sludge bombs. Secondly that he was a shiny. Shiny pokemon are so rare and are sought for by many trainers. Thirdly, I was dangerously and unambiguously in love with him. Edvile wanted me and I wanted him.

    "I want to wear you like a ribbon," Edvile whispered into the stigma of my flowers. I shivered, but instead of fear, I felt ecstasy.

    My mouth hovered for a moment. All I could do was coo Edvile. "Shiny..."

    "You taste better than all the puffins and drugs in the world."

    "I want to be a shiny pokemon like you," I said.

    "You can't," Edvile said. "In order to be shiny, you must be born shiny. I am just like you, only my colours are different."

    "I want to be a part of you." I was still in his arms, all I could see was the patterns of his raffesia cupping me and his eyes gazing into my soul. "Please take me with you," I begged.

    "It will be very dangerous," Edvile boomed. "You may die."

    "I can't care," I sobbed like a wrecking ball. "I have nothing to live for anyway."

    "Then I will give you new life," Edvile announced. "I will take you under my wing if that is what you wish."

    I felt like having an orgasm as I bounced for joy. "OH YES! THAT WOULD BE WONDERFULLY QUAINT."


    I heard the voice of a zoroark. Little red claws attached to a black pokemon dragged me away from Edvile. I felt as it my world was falling apart. The Zoroark stood stood tall.

    "What are you doing with my friend?" Roared the zoroark.

    "She's mine," Edvile said. "She has given herself to me."

    "Who are you?" I asked zoroark. "I don't know who you are."

    "It's me, Bella," the zoroark said as he picked me up from the ground. "It's Jake! We used to play with each other when I was a zorua and you were an oddish."

    "OH HI JAKE!" I squealed and he rammed his tongue down my throat. It was so wrong but it felt so right. Hot warm flesh pressing against me. It was so rough but at the same time I was tingled by the fluff of his fur.

    Now I was torn. I was bounded by nostalgia by Jake, but by destiny from Edvile. "That was random," Bella said.

    "Please marry me Bella!" Edvile begged.

    "You can't marry each other," Jake said. "You two have only just met."

    "We belong together," Edvile announced. Everything he said sounded so dreamy that I felt creamy. "But you can imprint on our first-born."

    I didn't know what Edvile was talking about, but it sounded awesome. I'm going to go with what he's saying even if it leads me to death. Even if Jake had loved me all this time, we wouldn't have been able to have babies because we are in different egg groups. I'm a plant and he is an animal, it would have never worked out. Me and Edvile on the other hand we are both plants and we belong together. There is nothing anyone could do about it.

  2. #2
    Kutie Pie's Avatar
    Kutie Pie is offline 桜咲くこの坂を今も上っている
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Valley of the Sun


    I had read this when it first came up, but I was snickering too hard to really properly leave a review. For starters, you imitated Stephenie Meyer's writing well. I mean, I'm sure it's not that difficult to mimic, but considering her rather amateurish writing can most likely be a pain to consciously copy when one's developed their own style, I can see where someone would have a hard time without feeling the need to pull out their hair. You most likely did this for poops and giggles to begin with, so I don't think this took you too long to do. (Same goes for that goofy banner of yours, pfft X3. Love how it looks like the spores Edvile is spreading adds to the sparkles.)

    The brief description of how Bella Swom experiences Pokémon Amie was funny. She really didn't want to enjoy it (even if she wanted to, but her actions/thoughts proved otherwise). Also considering she thought the games were “weird” and not “fun” or “entertaining”, and that Larry apparently was stuffing sugary foods down her mouth, I don't think she really felt better afterwards after all the pampering. Meanwhile, the sudden appearance of what I assume was a Fairy Tale Girl (just grown up... hopefully) pretty much kicked off what was considered the plot, and Larry's shallow personality showed even more when he ditched his Pokémon to run after her.

    Though in all honesty, I can't quite remember if something similar to that happened in Twilight, but I guess she had to be alone somehow.

    But of course, Edvile also shows up out of nowhere as well, and like trainer, like Pokémon, Bella Swom is immediately smitten and they kiss, probably passionately. And then there's the passage everyone probably knows of because it's on the back of the first book, and that is rather humorous, and actually confusing. What do you mean she “met him in combat” by his “sludge bombs”? That's an... unusual euphemism for how they just met.

    Then there was this:

    "I want to wear you like a ribbon," Edvile whispered into the stigma of my flowers.
    Be right back tears of laughter.

    The dialogue and description from then-on is so Twilight-prosey, it's hilarious, I almost can't believe what I'm reading half the time. I honestly cannot pick a favorite because they all make me giggle so much. I'm actually starting to wonder if you were drunk when you wrote this, or at least on a sugar high. You had to had been on something when you were writing it, whether it was from the ecstasy of writing it or what, because honestly I do find it hard to believe that someone would write all of this normally, even if it's a parody.

    Then there's the last paragraph in which everything was so rushed and slapped on that it felt right despite all the weirdness that happened seconds earlier. Under any normal circumstance, that would be a sign of laziness, but in a first-person narrative parody, it's easily forgivable, almost as if the narrator herself was realizing it was starting to get ridiculous and awkward, so she just had to wrap everything up. It's quite amusing.

    Unless this is going to have multiple chapters...? You didn't say anywhere that this was a one-shot, but you probably would've put up another chapter by now if there was going to be more. I'm honestly not complaining since the parody still works either way.

    (I'm also thinking the one-shot pushed the PG-rating a bit near the end there, if you ask me. *shrugs*)

    Also, while I'm still convinced you were making fun of Twilight here despite what you said in the disclaimer, I think you really would be making fun of it if, for example, you had Edvile be abusive to Bella Swom, and yet she doesn't care/notice/hate it/combination of the three, and played it off satirically. Then again... wait... that doesn't sound right. Either way, the end felt like that to me, so that's why I'm having some convoluted thoughts as to whether-or-not this really was all for amusement and not just a “take that”. Eh, parodies can be done in either love or in hate (or both because of love/hate relationships?), so until said so otherwise, this one will straddle that line.

    So yeah... got really nothing more to say here since the fic pretty much sums up everything anyway. It's honestly a bit hard for me to really get down into it when it's all laid out well, and I would feel I'm parroting it otherwise. Guess all I can say here in conclusion was that it made me giggle, and is a good pick-me-upper in terms of “I want to laugh at something today”. Because everyone's willing to laugh at Twilight no matter the mood.

    So in short... thanks for the pick-me-up XD.
    Winner of Best Non-Pokémon Fic of 2016 in the Shipping Oscars
    Forsaken: Chapter 20 - 11/17/14 / Encryption: Chapter 9 - 11/26/17 / Handle with Care: Chapter 11 - 1/10/18

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2007


    Thank you Kutie.

    I don't even know why I wrote it, I thought it would be really funny, so I guessed it worked. I'm not sure if it will be a one shot or if I'm going to add more to it. I guess for now it can remain as a one shot.

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