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Thread: Death is the Spice of Life

  1. #1

    Default Death is the Spice of Life

    Story time.

    As you are reading, you may find some violence and language. If you think you're going to be offended by the material, stay away. If it really needs like a general rating for the readers or something like that I'll say PG-13. I don't really think it should be limited to that, however, some people may find it inappropriate for the (much) younger ones.

    I don't own Pokemon. Just to let you know.

    To get to chapter...
    1: And it Begins...
    2: The Formal Farewell!
    3: Jubilee in Jubilife!
    4: Twisting and Burning

    And it Begins...


    It started in a thunderstorm.

    Sawyer Hopkins trampled over the cobblestone streets of Sandgem Town in search of shelter. His tattered brown vest soaking over his dirty white tee. Careening around a corner, a slim, black limo zoomed past Sawyer and sent a wave of water crashing down on him. He coughed up excess water that landed in his throat and found a building with an overhang to wait out the storm under. It loomed over him, the massive sky blue painted building's sign read: Pokémon Research Lab, but Sawyer figured it was best to remain outside, after all, it wouldn't be right for a missing person to suddenly appear...

    ^^^

    "James, slow down! Goodness gracious, you nearly drowned that poor boy!" Penny White sighed as her driver drove erratically through the streets of Sandgem Town to Twinleaf Town, on her way back from a shopping spree in Jubilife City.

    "Sorry, Miss Penny, but I know how your parents don't like it when you arrive home late. Couldn't you have spent a little less time browsing and a little more time actually making purchases?"

    "I don't like your attitude. I'm going to tell daddy to fire you like I did my last driver" She sighed again and banged her head back against the headrest, then slumped forward with her head down. Her long, wavy, copper colored hair hid the frustration built up on her face. "How much longer is it going to be?"

    "Not much, I'm already out of Sandgem. Just a bit longer till we reach your home." James pushed down on the gas a bit harder now. If this would be his last drive for the White family, he thought he may as well try for a big tip.

    ^^^

    A slim, black limo pulled in next door as Dylan Thomas gazed out his window. He saw the most beautiful girl that lived right next door escorted out of the limo and into her home by her chauffeur toting an umbrella.

    Thunder boomed. Dylan dropped on to his bed, hoping that the sun would come out. "If the sun was out, then I would be able to go out and catch myself a Pokémon, just like those kids on TV." Dylan had been watching his favorite program, about trainers growing up and catching Pokémon. He was sure he was meant to be just like them.

    "Why else would they do it on TV if I'm not supposed to?" Was the question Dylan asked that made him believe just about everything he saw and heard. However, since he was eligible to become a trainer, his mother wouldn't allow Dylan to own a Pokémon.

    A scratch came at the front door. Dylan walked over to it, and opened to reveal a wet creature that came up to his house. He looked down and scanned the small creature, instantly recognizing what it was. By its smooth, black coat; its small, red feathers; white claws, and tiny gems on its forehead and chest, a Sneasel stood on the porch.

    Dylan was ecstatic. A Sneasel! Showing up to his house! A miracle or fate? "Hi! You must be cold. Come in!" He took the Pokémon by the arm to his room and sat it down on his bed. "Are you hungry?"

    <Yes.> The Sneasel managed. It was hiding a gash on its arm by holding it with its other.

    "OK! What do you want to eat? I know how to make hot dogs! You want some?"

    <Yes.>

    Dylan heard screaming from next door, but excused it as someone frightened by the thunder.

    ^^^

    Penny White huddled in the corner of her closet as her mother was being beat to death. Her parents had not been happy with the way the chauffeur had been handling things, and decided to fire and not pay him. In a fury, James took the umbrella he had walked Penny in with and lodged it into Mr. White's stomach. He proceeded to pummel Mrs. White's face with a series of blows from his fists.

    "Help! Penny! Call someone! OOOOWWW!!! No, stop it, please!" She pleaded, then stopped. She laid unconscious on the floor. James took the umbrella out of the dead Mr. White, poked the dead man's wife a few times, then confirmed that she was dead too.

    "Penny?" James called, "Your parents would like to see you!" He had to get rid of her too, or else she would lead the police right to him.

    Her head throbbed thinking about what may have been happening downstairs. Tears flowing down her face, she stood, emerged from her closet, opened the window, and ran. She knew that she had to find someone who could help. Without thinking, she ended up pounding on her neighbor's door.

    Dylan opened the door, with a plate of hot dogs in hand. "Hi Penny! What's wrong? Want a hot dog? You'll never believe it I have a-"

    "Dylan, I need to use your phone." sniveling through her words.

    Dylan twisted and pointed it out. "Over there" He twisted back, dropping two wieners in the process. "Dang it!" As he picked them up and headed back to his room, Penny picked up the phone and stated dialing.

    ^^^

    "Ok, and what was his name again?"

    "Bon, James Bon." Penny White finished telling her story to the police. "Thank you officer."

    The man in uniform jotted down final notes about the suspect, tipped his hat, and discussed the situation with the coroner as he left. Paramedics took off with the bodies of Penny's parents. Penny was a mess. She had no other relatives beside the President of the Pokétch Company and his wife, both of which were now dead. She was now an orphan. A social worker would come soon to take her and put her in with another family. She did not want that. She wanted no more of these random strangers trying to take care of her. The chauffeur was bad enough. She wanted out. She wanted to get away.

    "Penny? I'm so sorry about what happened. I know when my dad had a heart attack, he went on vacation in heaven too."

    "Dylan, shut up! They're not on vacation! They're dead! Aggh!" Penny stomped off back to the crime scene. To pack her things and leave Twinleaf Town, possibly forever.

    ^^^

    "...And then she got all mad at me. I can't imagine why." Dylan explained to the Sneasel.

    <I understand why.> The Pokémon stood and walked outside, through the unyielding rain to the house next door.

    "Hello?" Penny zipped up her yellow duffel bag that carried everything she thought she needed to survive. "Is someone at the door?" What if it's James back to get me? she thought, and grabbed a curling iron that she was charging before she left.

    <Penny White? I am not a human. I'm a Pokémon known as Sneasel. I'd like to speak with you.>

    "Pokémon?" She swapped the curling iron with a Pokéball that her father owned, but now Penny figured it belonged to her, besides, everything in her parents' wills would go to her anyway.

    Sneasel walked to the doorway of her room, then was struck by a red and white sphere. The Pokéball wobbled. Once. Twice. Thrice. It stopped completely and beeped, signifying a capture.

    "Now I'm ready to go." Penny White decided she would become a Pokemon trainer, but she needed to get to Sandgem Town's Pokémon Research Lab first. She walked out with a new attitude, striding toward Sandgem. Even the thunderstorm had finally cleared up.

    "Penny wait!" Dylan rushed out of the house after the girl, nearly tripping twice. "What are you doing?"

    "Becoming a Pokémon trainer, what about you?"

    "COOL!!! Let's go to Lake Verity! come on, I'll race you!" He dashed off, not realizing what he was doing.

    "But..." She realized she was too late. "Sandgem Town is that way."

    ^^^

    Sawyer noticed people coming out to stare at the sky, now that the rain stopped. He looked up too, and saw the moon had come out, and back under the overhang, something across from the teen was watching him. Sawyer had no idea how long it had been there, observing him. The crescent shaped mark on its head resembled the moon Sawyer had just seen. It stuck its hand in its mouth and sucked on it, as if it would get something out of it. It was a Teddiursa. It cried out like an alarm, alerting researchers inside the laboratory. When a man and woman wearing white lab coats came out, they took in the Pokémon, but did not see the young man who ran away into Route 201.


    End...

    Not really...
    > l00k0verthere
    Last edited by l00k0verthere; 1st September 2008 at 2:44 AM.
    You evolve, too.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    california
    Posts
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    Default

    not a bad story for a beginner.
    ha!
    overall i would give this a B+.

    it was entertaining to read. i wasnt expecting so much from this story when i read the character list, but it really is entertaining.

    peace out
    -wesloko
    Last edited by weshley2007; 1st June 2008 at 6:44 AM.

  3. #3

    Default

    well, that list is history now... It wasn't really doing anything for me anyway. Good to know for later. Glad you liked the first few lines. much more to come out of my first fic... especially since only one main character has a pokemon
    Last edited by l00k0verthere; 1st June 2008 at 8:58 PM.
    You evolve, too.

  4. #4

    Default Chapter 2

    NEW CHAPTER
    Chapter 2: The Formal Farewell!

    "Penny, look!" Dylan discovered a standard brown briefcase with silver latches near the wild grass. The rising sun let out golden rays over the sycamores that enveloped Lake Verity.

    "You don't know what's in there. Stay away." Penny spent the night sleeping by the water in a cerulean, Pokéball embellished sleeping bag she packed. She wasn’t sure if Dylan slept at all.

    The boy ignored his neighbor and revealed three Pokéballs. "Pokémon! Let's take 'em! It's a sign!"

    "Yeah, a sign somebody lost them." Penny sighed as she took off her navy heels and long white socks to immerse her feet in the placid water of the lake.

    "I guess you're right. I know! I'll go find the owner! I'm sure they're not far from here!" He sped off before she could say anything. She sighed again, deciding if she just waited he would come back.

    Sounds of feet running consumed Route 201, from west to east, and east to west. One of the bodies collided with a boy wearing a crimson scarf and matching hat. The other seemingly vanished into thin air. The boy with the scarf rose from the ground, and was sure to give the other boy a good kick.

    "Watch where you’re going, retard!" The standing teen examined the boy on the ground. "Hey, you found the suitcase! Thanks! If the professor found out I lost the Pokémon he gives out to trainers, I would never hear the end of it. Come on, get up." He pulled Dylan up by the arm and seized the mysterious brown briefcase that held three Pokéballs.

    "Ahem," An old man in a white lab coat cleared his throat. "Lukas, I already knew that you lost my briefcase. I’m just glad this young man showed up with it before I got a chance to scold you. Hahaha." He chuckled, his clean white moustache and sideburns slightly shaking.

    "Professor Rowan! I didn’t lose the briefcase… Ok, I did. Thanks, stupid. "

    "Let’s clear this up at the lab. Ahem. Would you like to come as well? "

    Dylan was terrified. He was convinced he was stupid, and he might even be retarded. It would be pointless for a stupid person to talk to such a figure of authority for an extended period of time. He hastily shook his head. "No, but thanks anyway!" He took off back toward Lake Verity, but something trailed him surreptitiously.

    "Eek!" A short, shrill scream reverberated from the lake.

    Penny. Is she in danger? Is she alive? Is she being eaten alive? Dylan could’ve thought a whole lot more than that before he reached her to discover that she was locked in a battle with a Psyduck.

    "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?" She yelped to the Psyduck as if it would answer.

    <How about send out a Pokémon?> It actually replied.

    "Umm. Okay." She ran over to her bag, zipped open the pocket on the right side, and took out her Pokéball. With a flick of the wrist, she tossed it up in the air. A white beam formed a shape which became the Dark and Ice Pokémon.

    "So that’s what happened to Sneasel! Oh, and, Penny? Am I retarded? I mean, I never thought I was before, but I met this-"

    "Dylan, shut up! Tell me what attacks Sneasel knows! Then you can tell me your heartbreaking story!"

    "Well, there’s Scratch."

    "Alright, use Scratch!" Her Pokémon charged forward and ran its claws upon the eye-catching yellow down that made the Duck Pokémon salient against the blue and green that devoured the background. Two red lines remained on the yellow body. Although they weren’t the only scratches present. The Psyduck examined the Sneasel’s body and scoped out a scar on the foe’s arm. It lunged at the enemy with its own Scratch attack.

    <Aah!> The Sneasel dropped on its knees and covered the wound with the other arm.

    "What’s wrong? It’s not that bad of an attack! Get up! Do another Scratch!" Penny ordered. The Sneasel tried to stand, but fell again in vain attempt. The Psyduck charged forward with another Scratch in mind. "Look out!" The Sneasel wouldn’t be able to move in time, it was doomed to let down its trainer in its first battle.

    But no.

    The battle was cut short.

    From behind the bushes a Pokéball flew, hitting the wild Pokémon. The ball shook until the tone. The Psyduck was captured, but by whom? Penny didn’t throw it, and neither did Dylan. A boy emerged from the bushes and walked up to the Pokéball. The new owner of the Psyduck stood with spiky blonde hair, a few shades lighter than the Psyduck; a tattered brown vest over a dirty white tee; as well as a decent pair of blue jeans and sleek, black boots. His bottom half looked like it was clothed a lot better than the top. His eyes met Penny’s. His matched the blue of the lake; hers matched the copper colored tresses flowing from her head.

    "Thanks." Was all Penny could manage. She was dumbfounded by the handsome young man that saved her Pokémon from fainting. She silently recalled her Pokémon.

    "Who are you?" chimed Dylan, who was eager to get some words out.

    "I’m Sawyer Hopkins. I’m from Jubilife City, more specifically the orphanage. However, it’s been about four years since I ran away. Living off the streets. Four long, cold, dark years. Better than the orphanage could do though. Doctor put me there because Mom and Dad had no relatives left. Dad died in a car accident while Mom was pregnant, and Mom died after I was delivered. The orphanage was a living hell… I’m sorry, I must be disturbing you."

    Before he could take a step, Penny stopped him, "Wait." He stopped and stared, expecting her to tell him something vital. She froze up. She wanted to tell him about what had happened to her. That she’s covering up her tracks and taking off too, but she just fretted thinking about the scene in her house and ended up tearing on the scene.

    "I think… Maybe… We should all travel together. That is, if you think I’m not stupid."

    Dylan’s words sprung Penny back to life "Dylan, you’re smart! Come on! I’m Penny! This is my neighbor Dylan! We’re going to Sandgem Town to register as Pokémon trainers. You should come with us."

    Sawyer realized that this was the girl in the limo that completely drenched him, but her smile captivated him. "I should register. I’m not really qualified to use this Psyduck until I do anyway." He smirked.


    ^^^


    So the newly formed trio set off toward Sandgem Town, making a quick detour along the way. "Bye Mom! Penny and Sawyer will take care of me, I’m sure." He gave his mother one final hug before he set off on his journey.

    "Goodbye Mrs. Thomas, wait, sorry, you still go by misses, right?"

    "No, but it’s alright dear. I'm so sorry about what happened to your parents. You have my condolences." She rubbed her hands anxiously against the sides her carnation colored blouse. She knew that once her son left, she would be all alone in her home.

    "Thanks for letting me use your bathroom Mrs. T." Penny gave Sawyer a stern look. "What?"

    "You’re welcome." The words came apprehensively from Dylan’s mother. "Son, I’ve packed all your things in this backpack while you were out yesterday. Don’t think I can’t recognize a Pokémon when I see one. I was a trainer once too. I knew when you came back home today it would end up like this. Ohhh, my little boy! Growing up!"

    Dylan took the bag. "Thank you mommy! Bye!" Dylan marched out triumphantly back on his way to become a Pokémon trainer.


    ^^^


    "Come on dude. Don’t tell me you weren’t embarrassed by your mother. And what’s with the ‘mommy’?" Sawyer attacked.

    "I love my mom. You’re just jealous because you don’t have one!" Dylan earnestly tried to defend.

    "Mom." Penny was back in the depressive state.

    The group finally reached Sandgem Town by half past noon. Sawyer saw the massive sky blue painted building's sign again, Pokémon Research Lab. A small Pokémon ran into Professor Rowan’s laboratory, the same one Sawyer found looking at him last night.

    "Who’s that Pokémon?"

    "It’s Teddiursa! Come on, Penny. You should know that. Let’s go inside! I can’t wait to be a Pokémon trainer!" Dylan exclaimed.

    "Quit acting like you’re eight years younger than yourself." Sawyer muttered.

    Penny opened the steel-framed glass door that was slightly ajar wider. She carefully planted her feet down inside the building. It was dark and dreary, Why aren’t the lights on? she thought. The Teddiursa had vanished in the darkness of the facility as well. "How did it get so dark when it’s so bright outside? Excuse me, Professor Rowan? Are you here? Hello? "

    Four fluorescent lights illuminated the room. The Teddiursa was sitting down on a table. Professor Rowan’s assistant stood behind it, with several buzzing monitoring devices in hand. "The professor and I are conducting studies on the way Pokémon handle artificial time lapse from day to night. We’re currently at night. You have ruined our experiment."

    "Ahem. I suppose if it is urgent, we can resume our experiment at another time. Why who might you be young lady?"

    "I’m Penny White, and these are," Penny waved her traveling partners inside, "Dylan Thomas and Sawyer Hopkins. We’re here to register as Pokémon trainers."

    Lukas eyed Dylan. "So, stupid found some friends, did he?" Dylan jerked his head away to remove Lukas from view. "Well, I’m sorry to say we’re out of Pokémon to give away. Remember that briefcase with the Pokémon you found for me? I lost it somewhere on the way back here again, sorry. There aren’t any others to give you wannabe trainers."

    "Ahem. There is the one we have on the table here. My researchers found it right outside the building last night." Prof. Rowan stated.

    "That’ll be perfectly fine. We only need one more Pokémon for one to each trainer." Penny replied.

    "Yay!" Dylan hopped up and down in place. Sawyer slapped him on the back of his head to curtail the jumping. "Oww." He massaged his head with his hand, hoping it would help alleviate the pain.

    "Is that so? What Pokémon do you own already?" Inquired the professor. Penny and Sawyer simultaneously let out their Pokémon from their balls. A Sneasel and Psyduck appeared before their trainers. "I see. Well, good for me. I don’t have to beg another professor for more starters." He inspected the Pokémon that stood on the black and white checkered tiles of his floor. "They’ve been in battle, I see. Ahem." He took a closer look at the Sneasel’s arm. "That isn’t going to heal anytime soon, I hope you know. Did this happen under your care?" He stared down Penny with a grimace that she wouldn’t soon forget.

    Penny opened her mouth, but her Pokémon interjected. <No. I was already hurt before she saw me.> The copper haired girl’s jaw remained gaping; she hadn’t the slightest intimation that was the cause of Sneasel’s ostensible weakness in battle.

    "I see. Ahem. There are proper methodologies we must adhere to in order to register you three as trainers…" As the old man went on, Lukas was able to take a spare Pokéball from his superior’s desk, take the Pokémon that he was observing earlier, and surreptitiously escape to a testing room inside the lab to capture the Teddiursa. "…and after your trainer cards are developed, you can be on your way to your destination, wherever that may be.

    "Do we really have to do all that? That sounds boring." Dylan was first to complain. Sawyer gave him another whack. The boy twitched his neck in reaction.

    A different kind of thump was heard simultaneously. It came from a room deeper in the lab. A faint ping was heard seconds later. Lukas walked back in, four pairs of eyes staring at him. "What?"

    "I do hope you realized that the Pokémon was for this trainer." Rowan gesticulated toward Dylan. "Now, what did you do with it Lukas?"

    "Oh, the trainer," Lukas feigned, "I’m sorry. I thought he already had one. Shoot! Oh well, what can you do?" He covertly gave an acrimonious leer to Dylan. The younger boy flinched.

    "Ahem." The professor cleared his throat. "I can register you three now," He directed his attention on Dylan, "of course you’d have to stay in close contact with your friends until you have a Pokémon to call your own." Dylan nodded promptly in response, still remembering his encounter with the professor earlier that day. "Then let’s get started."


    ^^^


    "Now that you’re registered in the system and waiting for your trainer cards, would you like to nickname the Pokémon you have?" inquired the professor.

    "Stella." Penny said.

    <But Penny, I’m a boy.> Stella explained. <Isn’t that a bit, girly?>

    "So, I’m a girl. Stella is a working name for both genders." Sawyer glanced awkwardly at her, "I swear!"

    "Your new name is Mack. Now let’s get going." Sawyer took the newly completed trainer cards from the printer and distributed them to his friends. "Thanks doc!" He started out towards the outside world, formally prepared to start his new adventure, to meet new people and Pokémon in places far away.

    However, his new traveling partners weren’t ready.

    "Come on, we’re tired. We should just stay at the Pokémon Center until tomorrow. Then, we’ll head off to… Jubilife City…" Penny sank to her knees. Tears began welling up, sparkling in her bright eyes. "I’m sorry. It’s just that my dad used to work-"

    "Quit it."

    "I’m sorry…"

    "Crying and sorry won’t change the past. Here." He lent her an arm. She pulled herself to her feet.

    "Sawyer, it’s really hard. I loved my-"

    "I said quit it. Look, we can go spend the rest of our day at the center if that’ll make you and pipsqueak happy, alright? Just don’t start feeling sorry for yourself. You have no idea what I’ve been through." His eyebrows furrowed irately, yet he was able to assuage the petulance in his voice.

    They walked, Dylan talked.

    "I’m a pipsqueak? Is that possible? What is a pipsqueak anyway? I hope I get a Pokémon soon. Do you think I’ll meet a really rare Pokémon and capture it? I think I- Ouch!" Dylan inadvertently crashed into the wall of an edifice with a red-tiled roof. "It’s the Pokémon Center, hooray!" He found the door and marched right on in. "Hi! I need a room for three, please." Penny and Sawyer entered the lobby. "Oh, yeah, and, my friends need to heal their Pokémon, nurse lady."

    "That’s Nurse Joy to you young man." She typed into the computer she was working with. "Room 2 is vacant; I can set you up in there." The woman wearing the nurse hat over vivid pink hair reached in a drawer and pulled out a rusty, old golden room key and handed it to Dylan. He clasped on to it, hard, as if it was a sacred old family gem with sentimental value.

    Penny and Sawyer stepped up. They had recollected their Pokémon inside their Pokéballs. Each thrust an arm toward the nurse. "Please wait while I heal your Pokémon." The woman grabbed the balls that were shoved in her face, and took them to a room set up for healing Pokémon.

    "So, Junior, where are we spending the night?"

    "Sawyer, my name’s Dylan. Hahaha. It is Dylan, right? Hahaha." His wholesome laugh turned to a nervous titter. What on earth made him this susceptible to anything and everything? "Anyway, this little key means access to Room 2. Oooohh… What kinds of mysteries lie in Room 2?"

    "Hopefully a bed, I’m pooped."

    "Hahaha! Penny! You know what you just said? You said, ‘pooped’!" Dylan giggled.


    ^^^


    Room 2 did have a bed. In fact, it had two beds, each with soft, comfy mattresses and squishy, feathery pillows with complimentary chocolates on top. However, that wasn’t enough.

    "What do you mean, ‘only two beds!’?”

    "I said three. I promise. I’m telling you, she doesn’t like me Penny! Humph, I don’t like her either." Jejunely, he crossed his arms over his chest, shut his eyes, and pointed his nose in the air.

    "Look, I’m sure it’s a simple misunderstanding, I’ll go tell her our situation, and I’m sure she’ll let us swap rooms to one with at least three beds." Dylan handed him the key, and Sawyer walked back to the lobby.

    "So, if we end up having to sleep here, would you get in bed with me, or Sawyer?"

    "Ew. Dylan, that’s gross. You’d both be sleeping together like homos. I’d get my own bed."


    ^^^


    "Well, guys, I tried, but there aren’t any other rooms available. We’re going to have to sleep here." Sawyer reported.

    Dylan gulped.

    "What? All right, I call this bed for me." He sat down on the bed he liked.

    "Okay. Dylan, go to that one. This bed is for me and me only. Wow. It’s all nice and springy."

    "Woah, Dylan is NOT sleeping with me."

    "Well, I think I made myself clear when I said I’m sleeping ALONE."

    "Then, where will I sleep?"

    "Floor." The two voices mixed.

    "But, it’s cold on the floor…"

    "You know what, screw it, I’ll sleep on the floor. I’m used to it anyway. Just quit bit*ching about every little problem that comes our way! Got it?! We haven’t even started our journey and I’m taking this crap from you two already."

    While Sawyer made himself comfortable on the ground, Penny changed into plaid burgundy flannel pajamas, and Dylan crept into the covers, careful not to upset Sawyer.

    Sawyer whistled at the girl who opened the bathroom door wearing night clothes. She blushed."Ew. Pervert." She hastened to her bed, and slid under the thick, furry white blankets.


    ^^^


    "God does exist, I saw him on toast!"

    "You did not!"

    "Yeah, but by saying that, I was hoping you’d realize that there’s never going to be proof if he does or doesn’t!" Penny tossed her hair round in the middle of an intense argument with Sawyer.

    "Then why are you saying he exists?"

    "Because of the possibility!"

    The two ended up quarreling all night about random things. Poor Dylan hadn’t slept since before the day of the thunderstorm. As the sun rose awake in the sky, the trio fell asleep on the floor. All three, Dylan had rolled off the side of his bed, and Penny wanted to get in Sawyer’s face to yell at him while they were arguing.


    ^^^


    By noon, all three were up and ready to go: Sawyer, to return to the world; Penny, to run away from the world; and Dylan, to finally live out his destiny and become a Pokémon trainer.

    "Your Pokémon are fully healed, except for that one scar on Sneasel. Before you go, may I have your room key?" Nurse Joy swapped the Pokéballs with the room key. "We hope to see you soon!"

    The group walked out of the cluttered lobby to the fresh outdoors of Sandgem Town. It only took a few steps to reach Route 202. The Pokémon Center stood right by it. Sawyer caught sight of something in the bushes, but when he checked, nothing was there but thorns, leaves, and branches. He stared blankly, with a series of blinks.

    "What’s wrong?"

    "Nothing Dylan, I’m fine." He hoped it was some sort of optical illusion. Sawyer saw something again. "Hey!" He knelt and plunged his arm into the bushes, thorns engraving stray markings on his flesh, but he came up short. Maybe there was nothing there after all.

    "Idiot. Getting yourself all cut up. You’re lucky I brought along my trusty first aid kit!" Penny swung her bag around and started rummaging through. "Let’s see, mascara, lip gloss, blush, -"

    "I’m fine. There was something in the bush."

    "Uh-oh. Are you hallucinating too? Okay, once I put band-aids on, I’ll take you to go see Nurse Joy."

    "I don’t need to. I’m fine, get it? I wish I never showed myself to you two. I’m better off on my own."

    "You know what, good, I don’t want to spend my time sleeping with some stranger who happens to be a runaway orphan anyway!" The girl was yelling now.

    "You happen to be a runaway orphan now, too! God, you are so stuck up you don’t even realize it, you have NO family left! You’re not going to live to the end of the week with Dylan! You both have no clue what it takes to survive! It’s a dog eat dog world, and you’re cats! You’ll be dead, that’s it. No retakes, no nothing! You NEED me!"

    Penny plummeted to the grass, burying her face in her palms, crying. "You’re right!"

    Dylan slunk slowly to the ground as well. It's my fault. If I had a Pokémon, I'd be able to stop this mess. He thought.

    "Well, are you getting me a band-aid or two? I'm still bleeding."

    End...

    of this chapter...
    >l00k0verthere
    Last edited by l00k0verthere; 22nd June 2008 at 7:07 AM.
    You evolve, too.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    california
    Posts
    2

    Smile A few parts were confusing...

    why did they go back to see dylans mom?

    hes such a mammas boy.

    its really good writing.

    some of it was really funny... i dont remember which part made me laugh for like 20 minutes, but i forgot why i was laughing after a while and i still had a lot to read. but somewhere near the beginning was really funny.

    B+ !

    peace foo.

    - wesloko

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by weshley2007 View Post
    why did they go back to see dylans mom?
    He couldn't leave home on an adventure without telling his mother first; she would worry about her son being kidnapped or something...
    You evolve, too.

  7. #7

    Default

    All right. I'm going to take this time to conjure up a preview of the next chapter. It might be a while before I finish the chapter... Or not, only time can tell.
    Chapter 3 Preview: Jubilee in Jubilife!
    The yearly "Old Knights" festival in Jubilife City is occurring as the group comes in. Sawyer thinks he sees that thing he saw in the bushes again, and splits from the group. Dylan is mistaken for a lost prince from a myth, and is taken for initiation during the celebration. Meanwhile, Penny takes a painfully nostalgic visit to the Pokétch Company...
    Last edited by l00k0verthere; 10th June 2008 at 5:33 AM.
    You evolve, too.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    A therapist's Sofa
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    I don't own Pokemon. Just to let you know.
    You don’t. I’m shocked. ^^

    He coughed up excess water that landed in his throat
    Eww. Puddle water.

    You must be cold.
    A bit redundant to say to an ice pokemon isn’t it. I like your choice of Sneasel by the way, quite original in my eyes.

    In a fury, James took the umbrella he had walked Penny in with and lodged it into Mr. White's stomach. He proceeded to pummel Mrs. White's face with a series of blows from his fists.
    A slight over reaction wouldn’t you say.

    "Bon, James Bon."
    Hmm, what’s that I smell, is it Cheddar, cos that reeks of cheesiness.

    "I love my mom. You’re just jealous because you don’t have one!" Dylan earnestly tried to defend.
    That’s well mean to say to two orphans. I’m a heartless *******, but even I wouldn’t say that.

    Sawyer slapped him on the back of his head to curtail the jumping.
    That one line makes Sawyer awesome.

    Well colour me mildly surprised. I half expected this to be a nooby effort at a journey fic but the writing was actually pretty good.

    With it only being two chapters I can’t really say anything proper about the plot but the way its going it just appears to be for now, get Dylan a pokemon.

    Characters: Dylan, he’s all right, a bit childish (but Sawyer and his head slapping can sort that out) and hopefully he can get his act together and not make any more orphan jokes.

    Penny, a bit depressed and sometimes happy. I mean her parents were just murdered in front of her and she isn’t crippled by grief, and even has time to like a boy. That’s my only complaint with her.

    Sawyer, a feel that he’s brash for the sake of being brash. I know he’s grown on the streets (representin’ brrrap) and has had to survive on his own, but he’s a bit of a douche.

    Your grammar and spelling was really good I don’t think I noticed any mistakes. *Gives big thumbs up for that*

    I would like to say that in the parts where you broke the scene with ‘^^^’ in some cases, the transition could have been described a bit better than just transporting them.

    Keep it up, your doing really well for a beginner. Which leads me to believe that you’ve done this before. *eyes suspiciously*
    Skogsrĺ

    Gardenia never liked the Old Chateau, but what if the Old Chateau liked her?

    Author's Profile

  9. #9

    Default

    Thank you so much for the review!

    I'll try to work on expanding the characters and their traits as well as their Pokémon lineups with the coming chapters. I know that breaking the scene was unnecessary at parts, so I'm going to try to transition it better.

    I thank the teachers that drilled in the concept of basic grammar into my head, and spell check. And yes, this is my first fan fic in the making.


    / / ???
    You evolve, too.

  10. #10

    Default Chapter 3

    Chapter 3: Jubilee in Jubilife!

    Two Pokémon released themselves from the security of their balls.

    <What do you think is wrong with them?> asked the Psyduck, warily peering over the group of humans on the dirt path. The girl, inconsolably shaking through muffled sobs; the younger boy, hands clasped over ears and rocking back and forth; and the older boy, rummaging through the girl’s bag and pulling out band-aids; none of them appeared to be ready for the journey they set up for themselves.

    <They’re sad. We should get them to calm down.> The Sneasel nudged its trainer with its clean white claw. <Penny? It’s me, Stella. I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to get up. I did. And not long after getting back up, I met you nice people. I also met Mack, but that’s beside the point.>

    <What are you suggesting about me?>

    <Nothing.> The Sneasel grinned. <Come on Penny, let’s meet some new Pokémon!> His words didn’t come so easily to his trainer. Penny dropped her hands from her face, but still did not look up. She didn’t want to let her Pokémon see the pathetic, miserable young lass under that hid under copper curls.

    Dylan, after being hit by a Water Gun from Mack, sprang up. "Ouch! Now my clothes are soaked! Aww, man. Sawyer, do something!" Sawyer finished applying the band-aids to his wrist and stood, grabbed his Pokéball, and recalled Mack. Both he and Dylan joined Stella and crowded around Penny. They waited for her response. "Penny, it’s not much longer until we get to Jubilife City." Penny sniveled, and Dylan realized that he needed something to persuade her, "It’s the first day of summer."

    The first day of summer. This day meant a lot to the inhabitants of Jubilife City. Every year, the people of Jubilife held a festival in honor of the Old Knights. The Old Knights were people from a legend originating in Jubilife. It was a group of three peasants from a kingdom that would later be known as Jubilife City. The myth states that a rival king from another region hired horsemen to kidnap the other king’s son. As the horsemen were getting away with the prince in tow, the peasants interfered and stopped the horsemen using their Pokémon. The reigning king extolled the peasants and granted them the titles of Knights for the safe return of the prince. The prince went on to declare that he would thank these Knights five hundred years from the day of his return back to the kingdom, not as the same prince, but his reincarnation. That day just happened to be today. The first day of summer.

    "Summer?" Penny lifted her head to meet Dylan’s round, inquisitive dark eyes. They always implemented an invigorating effect on her. She wiped the remnants of tears off her face as she made her way to her feet. She knew there’d be an enormous celebration this year, "What are we waiting for? Come on Stella, I’ll show you what happens at the festival!" She took the startled Pokémon by the arm and dashed off. Sawyer stared at Dylan, shrugged, and ran after Penny. Dylan hastily pursued.



    ^^^



    Crowds of people inundated the streets of Jubilife City. Vendors set themselves up on every corner, hustling and bustling to meet the demands of hungry customers; entertainers performing at the water fountain, contiguous to the Jubilife TV station; and tourists taking pictures at all the landmarks they could find: Jubilife TV, the Pokétch Company, the Trainers’ School, Global Trade Station, and even the Jubilife Condominiums. The annual Old Knights festival was taking place. The sun beat down, but people paid no mind; it was a much too happy day to be bummed by the arid heat promised by summer.

    Penny found herself sitting by the fountain with Stella, eating hot dogs and watching a lady with a plump, brown Bidoof that carved sculptures out of wood with bucked teeth. <Penny, I don’t think I like mustard now that I’ve tried it.>

    "Good," Penny smiled, "I don’t like mustard either. You can take a bite out of mine." Stella chomped down revoltingly on the remainder of the meat smothered by bun, chewing with its mouth opened. Penny giggled, "I need to teach you some good manners some time." For the first time since the thunderstorm started, Penny felt completely at peace, although, she wouldn’t be surrounded by the reassuring clamor of people roaming through the streets of Jubilife for long. "We should go find the others soon. But first, let’s get some more hot dogs! This time no mustard."



    ^^^



    <Where are we?>

    "The Old Knights festival. They have it every year here Mack. I remember watching out of the dusty old windows of the orphanage. Though, I didn’t see too terribly much since the orphanage is filled with unwanted children, so they built it on the far end of the city where not too many people pass by. Then after I ran away, I wasn’t around at the time for the past four celebrations. I don’t really like big events like this." Sawyer sighed. "Well, now that you’re here, I guess we can give it a real try."



    ^^^



    Dylan meandered through the pathways, careful not to accidentally bump into bystanders. He glanced at the glare cast by the enormous television screen that hung above the doors to the station. A Pokétch commercial was flashing on the screen. Pokétch – Without it, you’re nothing. "Uh oh. I better get myself a Pokétch soon." He moved closer to the TV station, but was halted.

    "Look!" A woman shrieked, "It’s him! It’s the prince! He’s back!" Dylan turned to look, turned back, and then turned again to realize the woman was pointing him out from the crowd. Undetected hands pulled Dylan from ostensibly no specific direction to a stage set up by the fountain. He squirmed, but to no avail. He realized a man in a silky black suit was dragging him to the center of the stage.

    "So, prince, we would like to have you give a short speech. Nothing much, you know, but tell us how it feels to live again. I’ve brought the mystic. She says you’re him. You are him, right?"

    Dylan stared at the man with black hair with a silver lining. The man’s cold blue eyes were searching Dylan’s face for something that probably wasn’t there. Dylan craned his neck to see the woman that pointed him out. She was a brunette whose hair streamed down to her waistline. She wore a long white dress that could have been mistaken for a bed sheet with holes cut out. The man pinched the boy’s shoulder. Since Dylan was now unsure, he took the opportunity to be hailed as a prince. "Yes, I’m the prince."

    Penny walked back past the fountain with her Pokémon, each smiling and holding a freshly grilled hot dog drenched in ketchup, neither becoming conscious of the stage, nor the boy on it. They kept walking west, toward the Pokétch Company. They reached the big vermillion structure. Her bright smile, which was now filled with bits and pieces of food, faded as she dropped what was left of the hot dog.

    The door creaked as it opened. The chilling sound seemed to say Go away. You are unwanted here, get out now. Penny kept moving. She recalled Stella. You asked for it.



    ^^^



    Sawyer, attempting to give in to the spirit of the festival, combed his hand through his radiant blonde hair. He was watching a show out in front of the station. The television that stood high on Jubilife TV station seemed different than last time. Of course there was another program on at the time, but something seemed odd. Something infiltrated the TV somehow. A glowing figure stood on the bottom left corner of the screen. Squinting, Sawyer could’ve sworn he saw it move, but people around him didn’t notice at all. The screen turned to static. People thought it was some sort of problem within the station, but Sawyer knew it was coming from right outside. A translucent figure darted away. Sawyer had to go after it. He sprinted after what other people would have probably mistaken for a figment of his imagination. Mack saw it too though, and hurried after the creature.

    As they were running after what most people didn’t look hard enough to see, Sawyer and Mack failed to note the stage set up contiguous to the sapphire wall of water leaping from the base of the fountain. Dylan inched toward a standing microphone. He was doomed to make a speech. He didn’t know what to say. He felt faint. How could he be the prince some crazy lady was looking for? The woman and man were standing off to the side, eager to listen to whatever their prince could dish out. "He’s here! After five hundred years. I can’t believe you found the re-embodiment of the prince!" The man spoke loud enough so Dylan could hear. He thought back to the deep, dark recesses of his mind. Luckily, Dylan was able to recall information about the prince in the myth, and words started to form and dance off the tip of his wet ruby tongue.

    "Pokémon Contest. Here. That is how I plan to repay my kind saviors. Yes. Pokémon Contest. To be held here, today." An audience had formed, and the man and woman were transfixed with the few sentences that he said. They spoke a hushed conversation with each other. The man stepped up to the prince.

    "As the mayor of Jubilife City, I accept your generous gift. I am sending for qualified judges as we speak." The mayor took the microphone. "Hello citizens, we will be accepting registrations for the Contest in just a few minutes." The crowd cheered, but he whispered off to the side to Dylan, "We need you to prepare as well. Now go with the lovely mystic who found you. Boy, I’m so glad you came, after five hundred years, wow; I bet you can only begin to wonder how much the world has changed, huh? Well, here she is now!" The woman with the white cloth of a dress seized the boy’s arm and rushed him off stage for preparation.

    As Dylan exited stage left, Sawyer swept in on the right, still not realizing the younger boy was within feet of him. The creature was able to move stealthily into the microphone. "Hey!" Sawyer shouted, thinking he finally caught the mysterious thing, but proved wrong. It manipulated the microphone to emit a deafening roar of feedback. The crowd groaned, attempting to muffle the horrible echoes by poking fingers in ears and dispersing away from the stage. The semi-transparent life form jolted once again, this time to the Trainers’ School. Huffing to catch some breath, Sawyer once again hounded off after it. The blazing sun was finally taking its toll on him.



    ^^^



    A nine year old girl picked up a brand new state-of-the-art shiny azure Pokétch.

    "That’s not for you. It’s for Pokémon trainers. Once you turn ten you can have one. In fact, I’m saving this one especially for you." Penny’s father slid a hand into the display case and pulled out a hot magenta Pokétch. The LCD screen showed the time 09:00. On the back, the girl’s name was engraved. Penny.

    Her father planned on giving the Pokétch to her to go along with her first Pokémon, but when she turned ten, she didn’t want a Pokémon, and therefore, didn’t need a Pokétch. "I don’t want that Pokétch later, I want this one now!" She never got one.


    The father never brought his daughter to his company again. Frankly, she didn’t care. She never even mentioned a desire to catch Pokémon to her father, although, she did have a fondness for the select few she’d seen throughout her years. She felt safe in the measures her parents took for her. Using various body guards, maids, and chauffeurs to defend, clean up after, and transport her, she was shielded from the harshness of the real world, and she knew it. While they were around, she didn’t want anything to jeopardize that feeling of security. She had no safety net now.

    Penny sighed as she traced the fingerprint smudges on the display glass. Her Pokétch was still in the case. Footsteps made their way downstairs.

    Footsteps made their way downstairs; it was a nine year old Penny, frustrated by the instructions upstairs on how to use applications In the Pokétch. "Daddy, it’s too complicated, nobody will get how to use it and throw it away."She began playing with her copper tresses.

    "When will you learn to appreciate these things, sweetie?" Mr. White sighed, "I guess I can get Wilmer to take you home. Wilmer? Can you take Penny home?"


    Wilmer arrived at the base of the stairs. Plum colored slacks and a matching blazer framed his body. His dark brown hair had begun to recede back to the top of his head. He was aging rapidly. "P-Penny? Is that you? It’s been so long!" The vice president of the Pokétch Company hugged the girl who had aged seven years since he last saw her. "So what brings you back here?"

    "Umm. I’m not sure how to say this…" She hesitated, her face reddening with emotion, "You’re actually the new president of this company." A single teardrop trickled down her smooth face; it burst into a microscopic sea of sorrow on the floor.

    "I’m so…" He struggled to come up with some words of solace, "I know your father would’ve wanted you to have this." He took a small shiny silver key and opened the display case, pulling out a hot magenta Pokétch. "Take it. It’s yours."

    "That’s… Thank you Wilmer." She took the Pokétch with her name on it and ran out, tears plummeting to the ground.

    Her feet pounded on the pavement until she crashed. "Hello." A man in a silky black suit greeted her, "Why you must be here to sign up for the contest. What’s your name?"

    "I’m Penny White. Umm. What-" She wanted to ask ‘What contest?’

    "Good, good, good. I’ll add you to the list." The mayor of Jubilife disappeared into the crowd.



    ^^^



    Blinding lights illuminated a once dark room. Dylan was dragged to a chair. The white clothed mystic took measurements. "Yes! Perfecto! You have the exact sizes!" She squealed, taking out a Mid Eastern traditional hooded robe for the boy. "Come, come put this on!"

    The boy slipped on the eggplant colored outfit. The woman giggled in happiness, though it sounded sinister. "Come! We must go back to show everyone how darling you look!" She dragged the boy out again.



    ^^^



    After Sawyer had gone and made messes through the Trainers’ School, The Global Trade Station, the Jubilife Condominiums, and even the Pokémart, he was just about ready to surrender to the thing he’d been trailing. Then it became visible again.

    <You’ll never catch me!> It screamed in happiness.

    "Want to bet? Go Mack!" He sent out Psyduck. "Use Scratch!" Mack followed orders, but it didn’t take effect on the other Pokémon.

    <What?> Mack tried attacking again, but its claws just ran through the enemy, without hurting it.

    The other Pokémon fired a Thundershock at Mack. Mack cried out in pain.

    <Why would you do that?>

    <Bye! Ha ha ha!> It sped off, back toward Jubilife TV.

    "Crap. Return Mack." Psyduck was sucked up back into the ball. "I haven’t been chasing it around all this time just to stop." He started running, but ended up colliding with a man in a silky black suit. "Sorry, dude. I was trying to-"

    "Let me guess, you were trying to sign up for the contest! Good, good, good. What’s your name son?"

    My name? Sawyer thought. I can’t tell him my name, especially if this guy’s connected to the city. Then again, I’ve been hiding from the world for so long.

    "You do know your name, right?"

    "Yeah, Sawyer Hopkins."

    "Great, now everyone will be able to see you and know your name." The mayor whistled happily as he vanished into the crowds of people.

    "Why did I tell him my name?" Sawyer groaned and scanned the TV station, "Where is that damn thing?" He sighed as he went forth, but then was stopped once again.

    "Good day, citizens, today is a spectacular day among spectacular days." A voice from the stage spoke into a microphone. "I am your mayor, and I decree that today we shall host a marvelous Pokémon Contest here in Jubilife! I’d like to thank the generous young man who made this all possible, the reincarnation of the prince from our very history, bringing us the gift of celebration by way of Pokémon Contest; let’s welcome the boy!"

    Applause met Dylan’s ears as he walked on stage, cloaked in the robe. His companions didn’t even recognize his face under the hood. He waved and sat on a golden throne set out for him.

    "We’ve got everyone here! Our contest will begin soon. Let’s have the coordinators come up here! Come on! Don’t be shy!" A group of people walked up to the stage, including Penny and Sawyer. "Let’s introduce the coordinators with their Pokémon! First on my list is Marsha Mood!" A girl in her mid-teens stepped up in front of the crowd of coordinators. She slung back her long chocolate colored hair in a ponytail. She sported a provocative short-cut crimson dress, and she waved to the audience like a pro.



    ^^^



    After introductions, Penny and Sawyer were able to find each other. "Do you know what’s going on?"

    "Penny, that guy just got my name and signed me up. I have no idea what I’m doing."

    "Yeah, same for me…" The mayor made another announcement and Marsha Mood strutted back on stage. "Look over there!"

    "Ponyta! Go!" A small horse like Pokémon appeared on stage. Flames sprouted from its back. "Use Fire Spin!" The Ponyta spit flames that flickered around in a spiral. "Now use Stomp!" The fiery horse stomped down on the flames to extinguish them. The coordinator curtsied and got a round of applause from the crowd.

    "So that’s what you have to do." Penny reasoned. What moves can Stella do to look pretty like that though? She sighed. "What are you doing Sawyer?"

    "It’s a surprise."

    "You have no idea either, do you?"

    "Nope."

    "So what did our prince think of that? How about giving us a little feedback?" The mayor shoved the microphone toward the hooded boy who sat on a golden throne.

    Dylan paused to think. Uh oh. If I start talking, Penny and Sawyer might recognize me. Dylan held up his arm, clenching his fist with a thumb sticking out toward the sky.

    "That must be a good sign! Now let’s move on to the next coordinators."



    ^^^



    "Now, from Twinleaf Town, it’s Penny White!"

    Never had Penny considered her hometown and name to be so hackneyed. She ran up to the front of the stage, tossing her Pokéball anxiously, in hopes of an effective combination. Stella appeared. "Hey Stella, I need you to combine your moves to look real nice for the people."

    <I don’t know->

    "Come on, you know your moves better than I do."

    <Alright.> The Sneasel used Leer and followed with a blunt Scratch. Half the audience remained silent, a quarter snickered, and the rest booed the pitiful performance. Penny peevishly stamped her foot on the ground and recalled her Pokémon, then ran back before she could embarrass herself further.

    Sawyer walked up to the girl whose face was now flushed. "Let’s just hope I don’t do as bad as you." He said, much to her chagrin. She gave him a good kick in the shin as she awaited the next performance.



    ^^^



    When Sawyer took the stage, he bowed and spoke to the microphone, "I’m sorry folks; I’m just not going to do this." The crowd relayed a groan of disappointment, all except for one person in particular. That person left the crowd and started walking east.



    ^^^



    Minutes later the mayor announced the coordinators who would be moving on to the next round. Penny wasn’t among the names. She and Sawyer rejoined the audience and watched as Marsha Mood and her Ponyta dominated the contest as the sun started to fall slowly on the horizon.



    ^^^



    "Why don’t we have our special guest give the ribbon to the winner?" The man began to whisper to Dylan, "Come on, take off your hood, the people want to see who you are. Give this to Marsha too." He palmed off a turquoise ribbon to Dylan.

    Dylan couldn’t ignore a command from a man with so much authority. He unveiled his head from the shadows of the hood and walked up to the winner. "Hi." He gawked at the girl.

    "You want to give me something?"

    "Yeah, a kiss."

    "Dream on, I’m talking about the ribbon."

    Dylan snapped out of his infatuation. "Oh, sorry! I’m so sorry! Here, it’s yours take it!" He tossed the ribbon at the girl and ran offstage.

    "Dylan!" Two voices shouted. Dylan was able to find his buddies. Penny gave him a concerned look, as if he was a child who ran away that she just found. Sawyer gave the boy a happy pat on the head and punch on the arm.

    "Hi guys." They walked away from the applauding crowd. "It was so cool, they thought I was a prince and gave me this neat robe and let me sit on this comfy chair while I watched the contest they threw just because I said so…" He stopped and stared at the TV at the station, remembering the commercial he had seen earlier. "Penny, can I get a Pokétch?"

    "You might want to get a Pokémon first."

    Sawyer peered closer at the television. "You might just be in luck." He ran up to the screen, "Hey! I see you! I know you’re there!" A Pokémon descended from the screen.

    Dylan eagerly grabbed one of the balls that the professor had given him and flung it at the thing. One shake, two shakes…

    It popped out of the sphere. <Wee!> It took off west to the Pokétch Company building. The trio pursued.

    Sawyer swung open the door and Dylan rushed in. Penny followed, "Wilmer, are you still here?"

    A voice came from upstairs, "Yeah, Penny, you’re back?"

    "Yeah, I brought some people. We were chasing this Pokémon that had come this way."

    "You mean this one?" Dylan, Sawyer, and Penny rushed up to see the result of a Pokémon battle. A Houndoom stood victoriously by its trainer looking at the victim of its devastating Crunch that had seriously wounded the foe. Dylan pulled out his Pokédex to identify the eccentric Pokémon. It was called Rotom, and had a distinctive lightning ball figure. Dark blue eyes were circled with white on an orange body in a lucid, lightning bolt shaped case. Dylan lobbed another Pokéball at the thing. This time he succeeded.

    "Yay! My first Pokémon! It’s all mine!" The boy marched jubilantly toward the ball, and let it out of the ball. "I’m going to call you Moto! Hello Moto."

    <Moto? Moto! Wee!> The Pokémon spun around like a propeller.

    "Hey, Dylan, I guess you can get that Pokétch now."

    "Oh, yeah! Thanks Penny. Umm. So, can I get a-"

    "Of course." Wilmer walked downstairs and came back up with an azure Pokétch. His Houndoom walked over to sit by its trainer. He gave it an encouraging stroke on its skeletal back.

    They said their goodbyes and the group set back out on their way. The Pokémon were walking alongside the trainers, except Moto, who broke off in front. The sun had finally set, and a crescent shape was once again rising in the sky. They headed back to the Pokémon Center, figuring they would get a better sleeping arrangement this time.



    ^^^



    They did. In fact they got four beds total. But, they were bunking with another group of random travelers, bringing the total number of people to ten to one room.

    Penny huddled with Dylan and Sawyer. "Seven, seven people in one group, who do they think they are? The seven children destined to save some sort of parallel world? Are they missing someone? Do they have to go find this eighth member over halfway through their journey?"

    "Now let’s not jump to conclusions here, Penny. We can each get our own bed and they can all squeeze into one."

    "Yeah Sawyer, like they’ll actually agree to that. Would they actually agree to that?" She lifted her head up to the larger group. "Hey, you think you can all squeeze into one bed?" They shook their heads; three beds were already taken by two couples each. The bottom bunk of the bed on the left was still available.

    "You want to sleep in the bed?" The last young man standing offered Penny the luxury of the final open bed.

    "Thank you. I accept your generous offer. By the way, I’m Penny White, and I’m delighted to meet a gentleman like you," She turned to wink at Dylan and Sawyer, thinking this might change their attitudes, "I was beginning to think there weren’t any left in the world." She offered her hand.

    He took her hand and kissed it, causing a giggle from Dylan. "I’m Christopher Mark. You can call me Chris. These are my buddies, Brandon, Paul, Andrew, Katy, Michelle, and Sally." They each waved as their name was called. He flashed a winsome smile to Penny. She blushed.



    ^^^



    Penny rolled on her side in the bed, sleepless. She couldn’t stop thinking about the boy who was sleeping on the floor with Dylan and Sawyer. His jet black hair styled into a faux hawk. His dark, yet somehow lustrous eyes, and the perfect tan to his skin; they all seemed to beckon for her. She looked at his sleeping body, dimly lit by the pale moonlight. How she wished she hadn’t! She only yearned for more. How pathetic. She thought, I’m love struck and I barely know his name. She sighed and rolled to her other side, finding it challenging to divert her attention from the hunk of handsome that was only three feet away. Snap out of it! But he’s so cuuuuute. God, this would be so much easier if I still thought boys had cooties. Oh well, I’ll probably never see him again after tomorrow morning. Oh no, what if I never see him again after tomorrow morning? I’ll miss him sooooo much. How could I miss him that much after knowing him just a few hours? She buried her face in her pillow, tired of thinking about the gorgeous young man she was doomed to part with next morning.



    ^^^



    The next morning had come, and Penny was last to rise. "Huh? What?" She rubbed her eyes, seeing a red tee on dirty brown pants. A boy two years younger than her was violently shaking her to wake up.

    "Chris and his friends left already, but Sawyer and I are still here."

    She heard the devastating words. She would be whisked away on her journey with the neighbor and the orphan while Mr. Sexy got away. She hadn’t even gotten his number.

    "I’m going with Sawyer to the video phones, I want to call my mom and tell her about my Rotom! You can come too if you want. You should hurry; we only have ten more minutes left on the room." They left. She quickly changed into her outfit, deciding that she didn’t have enough time to shower.

    She walked over to where her buddies were seated, talking to Dylan’s mother. "Hello Penny! Nice to see you. Dylan’s told me you all have Pokémon now. I’m sure you’ll be fine travelling together. Hey, Sawyer, why don’t you try the Sinnoh Gym challenge? The first Pokémon Gym is in Oreburgh City."

    "Pokémon Gyms, eh? I think I may just try it. Thanks Mrs. T."

    "You’re welcome." Said the woman in the screen. "Bye son, be sure to call me soon. I’m giving all three of you best of luck! Bye!" The screen turned black.

    "Bye mommy."

    "All right, to Oreburgh we go!" Sawyer cheered.

    "Could we think about breakfast first?"

    "Sorry Penny, but you missed the breakfast train. Dylan and I had pancakes, bacon, and eggs an hour and a half ago. You’re going to have to settle for fresh fruit for brunch."

    While going over to the cafeteria of the Pokémon Center, Penny lost herself in contemplation. If only Chris wasn’t there. Then I wouldn’t have to eat damn cantaloupe and watermelon for the first meal of the day. No, he’s sweet, I can tell. I bet his friends were rushing him, and he couldn’t serve me breakfast in bed because they were probably pushing him out the door. She dropped her plate. "Yikes!" Penny screamed as the porcelain plate shattered into infinitesimal pieces. Several faces stopped and stared at her. "Sorry. I’m so sorry."

    She decided it was best to just wait for lunch while they were on the road.



    ^^^



    Dylan toyed with his Pokétch, Penny daydreamt of Chris coming to her rescue, and Sawyer plowed through a wild Pokémon battle right outside Jubilife City.

    "Mack, end the battle with Scratch!" Sawyer’s Psyduck nicked the wild Kricketot with its claws. It fell, fainted.

    "Pretty good, Sawyer." An unknown voice chimed.
    Last edited by l00k0verthere; 1st September 2008 at 2:45 AM.
    You evolve, too.

  11. #11

    Default

    I like it I really do like it a lot.

    I'd like to see more of the original plot rather than just the "catch Pokémon and train them for gym/contest/whatever."

    But I'm sure you're saving that for the next chapter, right?

    Anyway for your characters, Penny doesn't seem really bothered much by her parents' deaths. Only after those flashbacks she starts remembering them. I'm guessing Sawyer doesn't really care because he never really had parents, and Dylan only lost one years ago.

    How are they really feeling, cause it's a bit too light in my opinion for something with death in the title. Will more people die, or will it go on with just the slight twist of people dying in the beginning?

    I think this does have really good potential, so that's why I'm trying to help. Because the grammar and description is real clean, and not too many new fics I'm seeing have all that down. I'm just waiting for the thing that comes along that totally makes this your story, and not some piece that you can't really tell apart from other stories.

    Anyway, pm me when you get the next chapter out. I'm looking forward to seeing it.
    A good day starts with a good meal.


    Bacon, eggs, and a glass of milk!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Coral Springs, Florida
    Posts
    94

    Thumbs up Chuck-Ching!

    Man, the beginning is intense!

    Quote Originally Posted by l00k0verthere View Post
    "Penny?" James called, "Your parents would like to see you!"
    Psycho Killa!

    Quote Originally Posted by l00k0verthere View Post
    "Bon, James Bon."
    That one made me laugh for 10 minutes!

    The thing about the Pokemon talking is the only thing that gets me. I thought they could only say they're name...

    I didn't notice any mistakes that huge. The plot is so-so so far.

    Lukas is such a a-hole!

    Sawyer kind is has little much testosterone. Usually, there should only be one douche bag per story! ^Lukas

    Penny's parents dying didn't affect her enough to just run away, especially with all that money behind; but I guess that could be excused if the parents neglected her, which is the stereo-type for rich people.

    The characters are great overall! You clearly gave them distinctive personalities; although I expected Sawyer to be a little more cool, not degrading himself to hitting a little kid.

    Keep up the good work!

    P.S. Another Sneasel lover? Soon, we will grow into an army!

    -Crystic
    Last edited by Crystic; 25th June 2008 at 10:38 PM.
    I put the laughter in slaughter.

  13. #13

    Default

    yay!

    chocolate_chippies: thank you, and I'll pm you about the next chapter.
    But I'm sure you're saving that for the next chapter, right?
    Yes, a BIG plot event will occur next chapter actually.
    Will more people die
    Yes.

    Crystic: thank you.
    I thought they could only say they're name...
    Sorry... In my world Pokémon can talk. But it's not like really talking, talking, it's more like telepathy.
    Another Sneasel lover?
    hehehe... Well, I do certainly like Sneasel.
    Last edited by l00k0verthere; 29th June 2008 at 7:19 PM.
    You evolve, too.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    1,292

    Cool Never fear, AD's Here!

    OK, apologies are in order for leaving this so late... but a review was requested and a review shall be given!

    GRAMMAR:

    sent a wave of water
    through the streets of Sandgem Town to Twinleaf Town
    Sorry, Miss Penny
    Note: When using speech, be sure to place a comma before or after a person/creature's name or it will sound like one big rush of words.

    he thought he may as well try for a big tip.
    It was hiding a gash on its arm
    When a man and woman wearing white lab coats
    The Ponyta spit flames that flickered around
    Well, for three chapters, the grammar isn’t as bad as it could have been. I’d say a B+ goes here. You might want to run a spell check in MS Word before posting future chapters. Or get a beta reader.

    CAST:

    OK, I’m gonna be honest with you. This was the part that threw me for a loop. I had mixed feelings about the childish Dylan, the snooty Penny, the eccentric Moto (Nice pun, btw) and Stella especially. I always pictured Sneasel as the type of pokemon who take pride in freedom and would usually resent a trainer who caught them without a fair fight, but it’s your fic, and you get weirdos in every breed.

    Sawyer wasn’t so bad, Lukas was portrayed in a unique and refreshing manner, but Prof. Rowan and Mack were another pair of befuddlements to the cast. Overall, your cast is way too odd but I’ll be yielding. B happy.

    DESCRIPTION:

    Ack. So Dylan’s a ten year old momma’s boy with pink horns and silver wings, Penny has blue skin and a gargantuan nose and Sawyer’s from Mars, right? I really can’t picture them well tbh and I think you should go out of your way to describe more, yet not in a stringy way, for the benefit of those who hate pokemon but love the fanfiction (I know it’s a weird scenario, but trust me, it just might be possible).

    I bestow unto thee, a C.

    PLOT:

    Well, it’s too early to tell now, but I’ll leave this up in the air and say so far things are a little rushed. The biggest plot hole I caught was Sneasel’s appearance. IN a rainstorm? In southern Sinnoh?! And as far from snow as you could get?!?! I really don’t but that. You’ll have some explaining to do. B, anybody?

    LENGTH:
    Mid-length. Not too shabby. This wasn’t typed up in the Quick Reply box, and your spacing goes to show you know what you’re about. Finally an A. An A- to be exact, but it’s still an A.

    OVERALL:

    Well, this is certainly something to look forward to seeing develop. Not the best of starts, but a good hard turn around is what you need. I’d rank this at and a half , and leave you with a few pointers:

    1. Let the characters like Penny and Dylan show more character traits. Make them more human and less fantastical.
    2. Getting a beta reader right about now would help loads. They aren’t meant to change the story, but check on the grammar and let you know (via friendly suggestion) how to make each chapter better.

    It shows, promise, my man. Don’t lose heart. It shows a lot of promise.

    L@er!
    The Corei Quest's latest chapter: Chapter Forty Seven: Tricks of the Trade (24 April 2014)
    PROJECT C-SQUARE STATUS = 100.00% Complete (11-12-2010, ca. 2:40pm GMT)
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  15. #15

    Default

    ok, I haven't been here for almost two months, so excuse me for being late. Thank you Air Dragon, I'll try to apply your advice into my work.

    here's chapter 4.

    Chapter 4: Twisting and Burning

    "It’s been a long time since we last met."

    "I don’t believe it. Blake Cork." Sawyer stared at the face from his past.

    "So you became a trainer too, huh? I thought you said you didn’t want to, of course that was four years ago, but still." Blake’s light brown, almost golden eyes gave a cursory glance to the Psyduck, Penny, and Dylan. He brushed the short black hair on the back of his head, "Well, you left me waiting three and a half years, and then I just couldn’t wait any longer. I went and got myself a Pokémon a few months ago, and then I caught three more."

    He pulled out three Pokéballs from his blue denim panted pockets. The jeans looked exactly like Sawyer’s, as well as the boots they both wore; in fact the only difference in their clothing was that Sawyer wore a tattered brown vest over his shirt. Blake revealed three Pokémon.

    "Meet Sandy, Smoosh, and Stinky. That’s what I like to call them anyway. Hey, I’ve got a proposition here. You all have one Pokémon, right? How about you each battle against me and one of my Pokémon? Starting with you." He pointed out Dylan.

    "Me? Oh boy! My first real battle! Haha, I get to battle with someone else before you two. "

    "First trainer versus trainer battle for all of you? Wow. This should be fun. For my first battle I’ll use Stinky." The Stunky stepped forward. Its body was violet with a streak of white down the middle. A jagged tail was pointed at the end of its stiff body.

    Dylan stepped back from the grass to the dirt road, tossing his Pokéball in the air. "Let’s go Moto! We’re going to battle!" Moto swirled around in the air gleefully. "Start with Thundershock!"

    Moto stopped in midair. Its lightning shaped case began to glow and a small bolt of yellow electricity surged forward to hit the Stunky. It twitched in reaction.

    "Stinky, use Smokescreen!" The Stunky made a turn and sprayed out an opaque black gas that rendered it invisible to the other Pokémon.

    "Where’d it go? I don’t see it anywhere."

    "Now use Fury Swipes!" The Stunky charged out of the screen and swiped its claws through Moto. It didn’t faze the Ghost type at all.

    "Ha ha! Yes!" Dylan cheered, "Moto use Thundershock again!" The Rotom glowed, charging up the electricity for the attack.

    "Stinky, it’s time to take it up a notch! Try using Poison Gas!" It turned to spray a venomous cloud of gas, but was stopped by the bolt of lightning from the Thundershock. Stinky screamed. "Come on, finish the attack!" This time, the wicked cloud of fuchsia gas made its way to Moto.

    Moto coughed, <Wow, that stinks!> The poison had gotten into its system.

    "Moto! Use Confuse Ray!" Moto’s eyes began to glow, and a ball of light formed. The golden sphere danced around the Stunky, revolving until the Pokémon became confused.

    "Stinky, Screech!" Instead of obeying orders, the Stunky hurt itself in its confusion. It slapped its face with its own paw.

    "Moto! You’ve got to do another Thundershock!" Moto charged up and threw another small bolt of lightning at the foe. Although, the poison was obviously taking quick effect; Moto began breathing heavily due to the toxin that ate away at the Pokémon’s insides.

    Blake was frustrated too, "Stinky, use Screech!" It was a failure again, and the puzzled Stunky slapped itself a second time, and fell to the floor; swirls replaced its eyes. "Stinky!" Blake rushed to his Pokémon, "You fainted it! That means you win this battle. Okay, the girl’s next. Come on, show me your Pokémon. Let’s see if it can battle."

    "Excuse me, but I do have a name. I’m Penny White, and I’m going to wipe the floor with you! Go Stella!" She called on her only Pokémon so far. "Let’s win this battle!"

    <I’ll do my best.>

    Blake recollected his Stunky in the ball, and signaled forward his Sandshrew. "Sandy, are you ready?"

    <Ready.> Sandy said back to Blake.

    "Stella, start with Scratch!" Stella lunged forward, extending its claws.

    "Wait for it." Stella came closer to attack the Sandshrew. "Now use Fury Swipes!" Sandy raked Stella with its own razor sharp claws, succeeding to hit four times in a row.

    "Are you okay?" Stella quickly nodded to his trainer. But this short delay allowed too much time. Blake scoped out a scar on Stella’s arm and ordered Sandy to use another Fury Swipes on the wound. It hit five times in succession. Stella fainted on the spot. "No! Stella, I’m so sorry." She held her Pokémon in her arms, and cast her eyes back up to the opponent, "Jerk, hitting a Pokémon on its weak spot." She gazed back down at her Pokémon, "How’d you get that scar anyway?"

    "Come on, it’s time for the last battle now. Come back Sandy, go Smoosh!" He recalled the Sandshrew as his Shroomish stepped forward. It resembled a mushroom that was a fallow shade of brown with camouflage green spots.

    "Alright then, I’m using Mack." Sawyer got into position to call orders while Mack stepped forward on brown webbed feet to battle.

    "Smoosh, start off with Leech Seed." The Shroomish concentrated, and then it shot a seed that burst into a growth of vines entangling Mack.

    "Mack, use Scratch!" Mack waddled to the opponent and swung its arm, cutting deep into Smoosh’s round body. Suddenly, the vines dug into Mack’s yellow skin. Leech Seed sapped health from Mack, and delivered the energy to Smoosh. Energy poured out in tiny orbs of iridescent light, floating across the air from one Pokémon to the other.

    <What was that?> Mack gave a forceful tug at the vicious vines.

    "Leech Seed saps away at your health gradually," Blake explained, "so you’re in for trouble. Smoosh Headbutt!" The Shroomish charged forward, nearly knocking over the helpless Psyduck with a vital strike from its head. Mack flinched, not hearing its trainer’s call for another Scratch. The vines had their way with Mack, and transferred health back to Smoosh. Blake ordered up another Headbutt. Smoosh came at Mack with its head lowered, knocking Mack to the ground.

    "Mack! Get up! Do a Scratch!" Sawyer was fearfully calling for his Pokémon to give a sign of strength, but it ended up flinching again. Leech Seed sucked the last bits of strength out of Mack’s body and the Psyduck fainted. The match ended in a loss for Sawyer. "Return." Disappointed, he recalled Mack to its ball.

    Blake recalled his Pokémon as well. "Sawyer, you know, you’re going to have to tell me what happened after you left. Why didn’t you come back?"

    "What’s he talking about? Sawyer, do you know him?"

    "Dylan you’re so stupid! Of course he knows him! Didn’t you pay attention when he showed up? By the way, Sawyer, what is he talking about?"

    Sawyer glanced over to Dylan and Penny then sighed. He cast his eyes back toward Blake. "Look, I’m sorry dude. I – I just couldn’t go back. Too many bad memories."

    They began walking as a group toward Oreburgh City.

    "I guess I should explain to you two. Blake and I were like brothers down at the orphanage in Jubilife," He chanced a peek back at Penny and Dylan. They stared intently for the next set of words, "Well, in the orphanage there were two head mistresses. We referred to them as Sister Elvira and Sister Raven. It’s not like they were nuns or anything, they just liked the title. They were wicked women; however, they were able to put on a facade for the city inspector whenever he came by..." He stopped in his tracks, the memories plagued him. Blake decided to pick up on the story.

    "As Sawyer was saying, we grew up there. Filthy floors filled with filthy cots filled with fifteen filthy boys and five filthy girls. None of us liked it much at all. But no one would save us. Nobody wants to take care of filthy orphans. Sister Elvira and Sister Raven much resembled female vampires, if such creatures existed. Unbelievably pale skin with black makeup lining around the eyes and on the lips; a ghastly image they displayed. And those scarlet robes! It was if they wanted to suck the blood out of you, and if they got angry at you… Well let’s just say I wouldn’t blame Sawyer for not coming back, and it probably would have cost him to stay for at least another year." Blake sighed; the memories began to tear at him like they did at Sawyer.

    "What would happen if they got angry though?"

    "Dylan!" Penny nudged him and turned to whisper, "I think you can save that for a better time. Can’t you see that was a bad time for them? Ow!" She bounced off a stone wall.

    "Look! It’s Oreburgh City! You can kinda see it in the distance through this really big hole!"

    Dylan peered through the tunnel; it wasn’t that long, but something seemed a bit off. The shadows appeared to be scurrying around inside. Penny regained her composure and strode in first. A faint trickle of water drops echoed throughout the passageway. The group ensued. Each took careful, long, yet quick strides.

    CCCCRRRUNNCHHH! A hole ripped though the floor under Sawyer, sending him down. Before he screamed in reaction, Blake already dove to save him.

    "I got you, don’t panic." Blake gripped Sawyer’s arm. The blonde seventeen year old grinned, even though he was seconds from dropping into the freezing water now visible below. Blake pulled him up, and the others gave concerned looks.

    "I’m fine. Let’s get out of here before it happens again." Sawyer started on his way out now being extra attentive to the ground.

    They managed to get out, but the sky dimmed quite a few shades darker since they last saw it. Oreburgh City was unlike the other cities they were used to seeing. Vents popped up from the ground exchanging air from above and below the land. The architecture vastly differed from the norm in the other towns, homes and buildings constructed to suit the dirt roads and rocky hills that enveloped the city that seemed to be secluded in the mountainside.

    "Wow, I’ve never seen a place like this before. I can’t believe my parents never took me here when I was younger." Penny stepped out as the sun set, a fading orange sky lit the city.

    WEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO! WEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOO! Sirens blasted through the city that was silent a few seconds ago.

    "Something’s happened. You guys should go check it out." Blake suggested.

    "What about you?"

    "Don’t panic, I’m good Sawyer. I made it out of the orphanage just like you, right? I’m sure I’ll see you later anyway." Blake disappeared into the city, but as he left, fire engines came close, and then turned away. Sawyer, Penny, and Dylan took the opportunity to chase it.

    Dust blew up from the streets as the fire truck zoomed by. "Pleh!" Sawyer spit out the dirt particles that landed in his mouth.

    The sirens eventually came to a halt, and so did the trio. They arrived at the scene of a car crash. "Oh my God! You guys we better go help."

    Sawyer scoffed, "Penny, last time I checked, we’re not certified life savers."

    "Where’s your helpful spirit? We could at least try to comfort the people they pull out of there. They’re probably stressed about the whole ordeal."

    Although the moon replaced the sun in the sky now, a dark shadow could be seen by some in the sky. "Sawyer, Penny, what’s that thing?" Dylan pointed to the monstrous flying shadow that flew above the twisted, burning wreck that used to be a car. It swooped down and caught a silhouette of a lifeless human. "I’m scared."

    "Eek! What is that?" Penny grabbed on to Sawyer. "Jesus! Why doesn’t anybody do anything?"

    "Whoa, slow down there." Sawyer shook penny off his arm, "I don’t see anything."

    "You have to be blind not to see that! I know it’s night but that thing was huge! You couldn’t have missed it." She looked into his eyes. "You can see me; you can see Dylan, why didn’t you see that thing?" Sawyer snapped his icy blue eyes shut. Reopening them slowly there was no change. He couldn’t see it. He could see everything else fine, considering it was night.

    "I don’t see it. I’m gonna go check in at the Pokémon Center. Stay here longer if you want." He began wandering away, occasionally looking up and rubbing his eyes.

    "Penny look, they’re pulling someone out!"

    "Come on!" They ran in closer to the scene. A firefighter yanked out an elderly woman from the passenger side. Her stark white hair singed with dark gray and black as well as some on her weathered face. The woman was conscious, but seemed rather disoriented. Penny tried to get to the woman, but she was being put in a stretcher to be examined later. "Shoot, we missed her. Maybe there was someone else in the car."

    Another firefighter called out, "I’ve got bad news. A deceased male, about the age of the woman we got."

    Penny took Dylan by the shoulder, "Let’s go. Sawyer’s probably got a room for us. And chances are they’re going to take the lady there too."


    ^^^


    "Stupid Penny and Dylan. Claiming to see a stupid thing in the sky. I’ve had enough of their stupidness. Oh look, the Pokémon Center." WEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO! WEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOO! "Ow. My ears. Look it’s probably the stupid car crash victim."

    A nurse came out to retrieve the stretcher with the woman who had been pulled from the burning wreck. The nurse rushed her over to a room right away. If only they gave that kind of service to trainers trying to get a room for the night. Sawyer strode up to the front desk inside. "Hi, Nurse Joy, I need a room for three trainers. Three, remember, three. A room with three beds for three people. The last few times we haven’t been getting exactly what we’ve needed, so once again, three."

    "Alright. I’ll see what I can do for you." She typed into her thin silver laptop, her pale thin fingers gliding across the keyboard with ease. "Yes. We have the room you’re looking for. Here, take this key to Room 3, how strange. You kept on saying three, and you’re going to a room called 3." She laughed, hysterically, and wouldn’t stop.

    Sawyer swiped the key and ran to the room. Weirdo. "Yes!" Room 3 did have three beds for three people. He set down some things on a bed and pulled out his Pokéball. Mack needs to be healed. He walked back to the front desk. Penny and Dylan walked in too. "Hey. We got a room just for us with three beds." He set the Pokéball on the desk. "Nurse Joy, could you heal my Pokémon please?" Penny and Dylan put their Pokéballs down too. "And these?"

    The woman behind the desk started giggling, "Mmm hmm, of course, come back in the morning. Hahaha!"

    "What’s so funny?" Dylan asked.

    "Let’s get to the room, quick." Sawyer rushed the two to the room. He unlocked the door and let them in. "So how was the uhh… victim? Did you ‘comfort her in her time of need’?"

    "No, they got her in the stretcher before Dylan and I could talk to her. So what’s your deal? What was with this Nurse Joy? She seems like she fell off the funny train."

    "Hey, at least she got us this room. Let’s get some sleep. I’ll even go check up on that old lady in the morning with you guys."


    ^^^


    "Hi, what’s your name? Mine’s Dylan Thomas. I have a Pokémon called Rotom, but I call him Moto. This is Penny White, she’s been my neighbor since I was born, but we’ve only really gotten to play with each other recently. She has a Sneasel named Stella, but that’s a silly name since it’s a boy. That guy’s name is Sawyer Hopkins; he’s Penny and my new friend. We met him when the Pokémon he has, a Psyduck named Mack, was fighting with Stella and Penny. You want me to go with you? Okay."


    ^^^


    "Penny! Holy crap! Penny! Wake up! Come on! Wake up!"

    Penny opened her eyes to find a half-dressed Sawyer shaking her by the arm. "What? Get a shirt on."

    "Dylan’s gone!"

    "If this is some lame joke I’m killing you." She rose out of bed and looked around. "Okay, I’m gonna take a shower. And when I come out to the cafeteria and get breakfast, Dylan will be sitting next to me and you’ll be sitting across the table, and we will have breakfast together, if that doesn’t happen, you’re gonna have hell to pay." She grabbed some necessities and strode into the bathroom.

    "Shi*t." Sawyer put on his plain white tee, walked out of the room and paced up and down the hallways, mumbling to himself.

    "Are you alright young man?" asked a voice.

    "I’m sorry?" He stopped and looked around.

    "I’m over here, young man; I hope I haven’t confused you."

    The voice came from a patient’s room. Sawyer ambled over to the room. The ivory walls screamed for a new paint job. The room was plain and the air was stale. It was the standard hospital room. Though the woman tucked between the bed and the white sheet sat up tall.

    "Do you mind if I asked you what you were mumbling about? I don’t mean to intrude, but I’m not going to have any visitors any time soon."

    Sawyer pulled on a patch of his already spiked hair. "I- I accidentally lost- You wouldn’t have happened to see a fourteen year old kid come by, he was probably acting like he was just a young kid. He has medium length black hair, dark brown eyes; he’s probably wearing tan pants and a red shirt with some sort of logo on it."

    "Why I did see such a character, he was walking down the hallway in the middle of the night. The boy must have walked out the front door because I recall hearing it opening and closing seconds later. He also sounded like he was talking to someone. I do remember seeing a great big shadow beforehand. Young man, do you remember seeing the people being carried in last night on stretchers? Did you see the man? About my age, he’s my husband. I hope he’s alright after our crash."

    Just then, Penny walked in, "Sawyer, what- Oh my goodness! You were the woman from the crash! I’m so sorry about your husband."

    "How so?"

    By then, Nurse Joy walked in, "I’m sorry, Mrs. Meeks. Your husband passed before our team could pull him from the accident. Umm. I’m sorry, visitors aren’t allowed at this time. You two will have to go."

    "I have a question too," Sawyer started, "Why do you put travelers staying the night and patients in the same wing of this building?"

    "Hahaha! Get out! Hahahahaha!"

    "Okay, I could take a hint." Sawyer and Penny left as the nurse kept cackling. "Gosh, I just feel bad for that lady who has to stay with the nurse."

    "Sawyer, couldn’t you see, she didn’t know her husband didn’t make it. That’s what’s really tragic. Come on, let’s go get some breakfast."

    They left to the cafeteria and sat down at an empty table with their meals in front of them. For Sawyer, a thick stack of pancakes drenched in thick maple syrup and a tall glass of milk would do. Penny chose buttered toast, a scrambled egg and bacon, with a small cup of orange juice. Sawyer dug into his food like a pig, forgetting utensils and proper table manners, and gulping the food down with minimal chewing. Penny ate quickly too, but with much more grace and dignity than Sawyer.

    As their meal ended, Penny wiped off crumbs that landed on her terra cotta miniskirt while Sawyer loosened his belt a few notches. "Hey, we should probably pack our things to go. I’d like to find this Pokémon Gym I’ve been hearing about."

    "So you really want to do that, huh? Alright. Let’s get back there."

    They threw away their trash, and returned the cafeteria trays and headed back to their room. But it was then they realized that there group was not whole. "Hey that’s Dylan’s backpack. Holy crap! Dylan! Penny! That lady said she saw Dylan last night walking out the front door!"

    "Okay, okay, we could go back to see the old lady, and maybe she’ll remember something that could tell us where Dylan went."

    However, they couldn’t, "No! Mrs. Meeks still needs to rest. She is an old woman and her immune system isn’t up to par. I can’t risk her catching an infection in still open wounds. However, your Pokémon are ready and you need to check out before noon."

    "We’ll take our Pokémon and check out now." Sawyer declared.

    "Then meet me at the front desk." She started walking to the lobby. Sawyer and Penny followed. "Here’s your three Pokéballs. And I need your key to Room 3." Sawyer handed over the key and took the Pokéballs. "Thank you and good bye." She giggled as they left.

    "So, Sawyer, how are we going to find him now? He can’t possibly be safe, I mean, we have his Pokémon, and his backpack."

    "Who said we’re switching plans? All we need to do is go around and find the right window. I remember it was on the right side. Let’s start looking." They took a stroll on the side, checking in each window for a certain old lady. And eventually, they found her. Sawyer knocked on the glass. The woman rose out of bed and slid the window open. "Mrs. Meeks-"

    "Hush child, I already know. The shadow. The shadow took my husband. Your friend was following the shadow when he walked outside. He was talking to the shadow. The shadow talked about the mine. The Oreburgh Mine! The shadow can change form. The shadow move through dimensions. The shadow! THE SHADOW!" Nurse Joy rushed to the room.

    "Mrs. Meeks! Get back in bed! You need your rest. Who are you talking to?" She glanced to the window and saw Sawyer and Penny. "You stop bothering Mrs. Meeks and go away! I should’ve known it was you all along! Hahaha! Now go! Shoo!" They sprinted away.

    "Sawyer, where are we going now?"

    "You heard her, Oreburgh Mine!"


    ^^^


    "Cool, it’s like watching a TV show; except, it’s really dark inside, like a sad movie."

    <It’s a portal to another dimension. Naďve one, go inside.>

    "Me? Oh no I can’t. I have to go back and see Penny and Sawyer."

    <Wouldn’t you rather see Neil? You can if you go inside.>

    Dylan thought for a few seconds. "Okay." He reached out his hand, realized it was disappearing in front of him, and flinched back. "Is it supposed to do that?"

    <Yes, you’ll be back to normal once you’re through.>

    Dylan leaped through the portal.
    You evolve, too.

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